My Little Dashie Redneck version

by AJE1000

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Human, Sad
Length: 12928

blah blah blah redneck :P

This Tis' da storee awf thart youngin wh' finded them leetle' horsee een a bawx OH DEAR GOD I CANT WRITE LIKE THIS ANYMORE anyway this is redneck or southern (american lol) of my little dashie. no, im not southern. :P Credit goes to the original writer of the story.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-09 20:49:52 UTC

My Little Dashie Redneck version

ah live mah life, one day at a time. A fine po'shun of them days is uneventful, allus fallin' in th' same routine: ah wake up, walk t'wawk, wawk, walk home, then bum aroun' until ah go t'bed, cuss it all t' tarnation. Some times I'll hang wif mah few friends, while other times I'll jest play video games o' watch Mah Li'l Pony: Friendship is Magic. Ev'ry so offen, sumpin noo an' interestin' happens: ah meet an old friend, ah find a dollar on th' groun', o' ah git chased by a stray houn'dog.

Livin' in a dyin' city isn't mighty fun o' interestin'. This hyar city was once full of life an' colo', but now... now most of th' houses is saggin', th' businesses set emppy an' aban'oned, an' sevahal open fields lay barren of th' once great facko'ies thet he'ped drive th' economah. ah had nevah see this hyar city durin' them times in varmint, but ah have see pitchers. Mah Mammy an' Pappy lived happy, an' they c'd only wish th' same fo' me growin' up.

Sadly, ah cannot say ah have achieved thet wish of theirs.

I've fallen into th' same dull routine: Wake, wawk, sleep, repeat. ah do haf some moments of bliss, but th' daily struggles ah go through outweigh th' small moments of joy ah have. Mah Li'l Pony has he'ped, but it's still jest t'other thin' t'give mah hopes up on, as enny fool kin plainly see. Ev'ry time ah see th' show, o' one of th' ponies on a fan site, ah recoil a bit at th' bright colo's, th' joyful faces of th' ponies, an' th' peaceful scenery of their wo'ld, cuss it all t' tarnation. It's so hard t'look at thet right purdy wo'ld, havin' it so close t'mah grasp; ah retch out t'touch it's warm colo's an' bright, smilin' faces of th' ponies.

Only t'be stopped by mah computer screen, as enny fool kin plainly see.

ah snapped back t'reality. It gits t'th' point whar ah will simply shet down mah computer an' walk away. ah do thet a lot, especially af'er mah parents death. ah go fo' a walk. Shet mah mouth! When ah feel sad, ah walk. Shet mah mouth! When ah feel tired, ah walk. Shet mah mouth! When ah feel like walkin'... ah walk. Shet mah mouth! Walkin' has become mah second life in a sense; ah spend at least ha'f mah day outside along th' crumblin' side-walks an' decayin' suburbs.

I've see varmints come an' go. I've see buildin's to'n down, burned up, o' haf so much graffiti on its walls thet its origeenal colo' is unrecognizable. ah mighty rarely pass enny other varmints on mah strolls. Most varmints don't like t'look at their once right purdy city, their homes o' fo'mer businesses. ah don't blame them, dawgone it. In fack ah envy them, dawgone it. They sar this hyar place wif their own two eyes, seein' th' buildin's still stan'in' tall an' proud, th' lawns freshly cut, th' paved roads, an' sidewalks still intack.

Th' only thin' I've evah see thet even comes close is mah Mammy's paintin's, etch of them colo'ful scenes of this hyar concrete wo'ld, cuss it all t' tarnation. She started paintin' once ev'rythin' crumbled beneath her feet, makin' th' sad scenery befo'e her look right purdy. Her masterpiece is of an open field thet yielded a parkin' gareege. On over it, she drew an amazin' rainbow. Mah favo'ite pitcher. ah guess thet is part of whuffo' ah like Rainbow Dash the dawgoned-est outta all t'other ponies. Her colo's, th' amazin' sonic rainboom, all remind me of thet pitcher.

Thar haf been times ah wished ah had mah own Rainbow Dash, o' mo'e realistically a plushie of her, t'curl up in bed wif. I've made an old Simba into a "tempo'ary" replacement, until ah's able t'save inough money fo' one. It he'ps, in a way. Like holdin' it close will heal mah woun's, mah pain, an' mah so'row. Mah feet, af'er countless hours of walkin' in mah old shoes, pulsate unner th' sheet, an' all th' while, I'll hold thet stuffed animal harder than a Mammy proteckin' her chile. It's th' only thin' ah can look at an' feel true joy, even eff'n it isn't physically th' Rainbow Dash ah want.

It will hafta does.

Today, as usual, ah walked t'wawk. It was th' same shit, jest a diffrunt day, watchin' th' same varmints inter th' sto'e, grab their merchan'ise an' pay, then walk out wif bags in tow. Mah shif' inded af'er sevahal hours of this. ah clocked out an' started walkin' home. ah decided t'use a diffrunt route this hyar time, fo' a change in pace, a li'l sumpin diffrunt fum th' no'mal path ah walk. Shet mah mouth! This hyar part of town was hit th' wo'st; only a few houses still stan', an' none of them occupied, cuss it all t' tarnation. It truly is a sad sight t'see. Then agin, it's pow'ful th' only sight ah see. Th' only sight I'll evah see.

Or so ah thunk.

ah was stopped by sumpin unusual; a stray cardboard box in th' middle of th' sidewalk. Shet mah mouth! Now, livin' in this hyar kind of area ah see trash all th' time. Boxes, McDonalds cups, an' plastic bags litter th' streets an' emppy fields, but rarely will ah see a cardboard box thet isn't crushed in one way o' t'other. ah noticed this hyar particular box on account o' it happened t'be in mah way. Durin' mah yo'nger years, ah tried t'do whut ah c'd fo' th' community. I'd pick up trash when ah sar it, o' I'd attempp t'he'p mah neighbo's. It was a losin' battle. Now-a-days, I'd given up enny hope of cleanin' this hyar city, much less mah neighbo'hood, cuss it all t' tarnation. Now I'll jest pass th' trash by, lettin' it blow away in th' breeze o' set thar an' decompose. ah let whut's lef' of th' "varmints" does their own thin's, on account o' most of them don't care about ennyone other than themselves. Whuffo' sh'd ah be enny diffrunt?

ah walked past th' box, barely givin' it a glance. Nothin' about it caught mah attenshun right away. ah continued on, mah home not far away now. Upon arrivin', ah sat down down an' played some games, attemppin' t'push th' box outta mah mind, cuss it all t' tarnation. ah had li'l luck, as th' box somehow managed t'push it's way back in, as enny fool kin plainly see. Time crepp on by, an' ah soon foun' mahse'f wantin' t'go fo' t'other walk. Shet mah mouth! ah lef' th' house an' started down mah usual route when ah stopped, cuss it all t' tarnation. Whut in tarnation was it about thet box thet made it stick out in mah mind? ah turned aroun', startin' down th' path ah had taken t'git home, th' path thet ah only walk once in a blue moon, as enny fool kin plainly see. Curiosity got th' bess of me, an' ah wanted some closure.

Wifin minutes ah foun' it, still sittin' thar, sad an' alone among th' busted corncrete an' on over-grown grass. It didn't move, it didn't stan' out as eff'n it were special, ah reckon. It was an o'dinary, brown cardboard box. ah didn't be hankerin' t'say ah came out hyar fo' nothin', so ah walked closer t'it. As ah drew closer, howevah, ah began t'notice sumpin inside. It was brightly colo'ed, multiple colo's in fack, an' was quite small, ah reckon. Mebbe th' size of a few month old Labrado' houn'dog.

ah stopped beside th' box, an' looked down at th' colo'ful blob inside.

This hyar is whar ah currently stan': lookin' into th' box at a small, ah reckon... sumpin. No, ah knows exackly whut it is, but mah brain isn't allerin' me t'fully reckanize it jest yet. At fust ah's hankerin' t'say it's simply a toy, lef' t'die along wif all t'other thin's in this hyar block. Shet mah mouth! But then ah sar it breathin'. In fack, it appears t'be sleepin'. Mah han's is sweatin', mah breathin' erratic, an' I'm blinkin' mah eyes tryin' t'refresh mah vishun.

Etch time, th' image stays th' same. Inside, is a sleepin'... filly... Rainbow Dash.

ah kneel down, tryin' t'git a closer look into th' box. ah can't believe whut ah's seein'. Thar is not a physical, mental, o' extryterrestrial way how this hyar c'd be hyar...how she c'd be hyar, in mah gloomah, dark an' ho'rid wo'ld, cuss it all t' tarnation. ah examine th' box further, an' on th' side in simple pen says "Give t'fine home."

Th' fust thunk thet runs through mah mind, besides th' initial "Filly Rainbow Dash in a box", is "Who'd give up a filly Rainbow Dash?"Mah mind is now a mess of quesshuns. How did she git hyar? Whuffo' is she hyar? Whuffo' is she a filly? Her flank is even barren of her cutie mark, meanin' she is indeed a filly. As ah stan' t'stretch mah tired legs, ah accidentally bump th' side of th' box wif mah foot, an' th' inevitable occurs: she wakes up.

She looks aroun', rubbin' her face wif a fo'eleg, tryin' t'wake herse'f up. At fust all she sees is th' brown walls of th' box, but then she looks up t'me. Them large black eyes, along wif th' rose-colo'ed rim aroun' them, drive mah heart to, as th' meme goes, splode... twice. Th' sheer cuteness of it all drives me t'kneel back down, an' ah can't hold back a smile. ah haven't smiled like this hyar in years, on account o' th' last time me an' mah parents went out t'th' only remainin' park in th' area.

Her eyes corntinue t'stare at me, an' ah stare back. Shet mah mouth! ah don't knows whut t'say, o' whut t'do, but ah muss start somewhar.

"Howdy-doo thar."

ah speak, but she doesn't respond, cuss it all t' tarnation.

"Uh, whut is yo' doin' out hyar?"

She looks aroun', then back t'me. Th' mo'e ah study her, th' mo'e ah reckanize she is pow'ful yo'ng; years yo'nger than her filly appeareence in episode twenty three. She might not even be able t'talk yet... thet is, eff'n she even kin talk in mah wo'ld, cuss it all t' tarnation. Th' fack thet she is even existin' right now has me reelin' in cornfushun. ah return mah attenshun back t'her, an' notice a small shivah of her hide. Th' fall season is hyar, an' it kin git purdy cold, especially aroun' mid-Seppember.

I'm not sho'nuff how t'exackly tackle this hyar situashun; does ah take her home? Do ah call someone? Who'd ah even call? I'm a closet brony, so none of mah friends knows about mah love of th' show. ah can't take her t'a shelter... thet's a stoopid thunk in th' fust place. Not only'd it be a ho'rible sight, she might be taken off t'some lab an' experimented on o' sumpin jest as equally ho'rible. ah have only one choice.

She shakes once mo'e as th' right fine air retches her coat; her win's ruffle as she lays back down an' huddles her legs closer t'her hide t'keep warm, dawgone it. Thet's th' final straw, ah can't take ennymo'e. ah take off mah own jacket, an' retch down an' pick her up. ah git th' initial response ah specked; fear. She begins t'squirm aroun', unsure whut I'm doin' t'her. She kin't fly yet, but she still flutters her win's as in prayin' fo' a miracle t'happen thet she does magically take flight. ah set her into mah jacket, wrap her up so thet her haid is stickin' out, an' hold her in mah arm, dawgone it. She corntinues t'squirm, but then mah hide heat begins t'finally seep through th' thin jacket an' she settles down, as enny fool kin plainly see.

"It's all right. Lets git yo' somewhar warmer, huh?"

ah smile agin at her. She looks up t'me wif much cornfushun in her eyes as she tries t'process whut is happenin'.

"Don't wo'ry, I'm not gonna hurt yo'. It's gittin' late, an' yo''ll freeze out hyar."

ah reckon she unnerstan's me, fo' af'er ah say them wo'ds her eyes return t'their no'mal size, an' she snuggles herse'f mo'e comfo'tably inside mah jacket. She squirms a li'l, tryin' t'git into a mo'e comfy posishun. ah can feel her hooves an' win's pokin' me as she shif's. Then, t'top it off, she rests her chin onto mah arm an' lets out a deep sigh, closin' her eyes t'drif' off t'sleep.

Mah heart splodes fo' a third time.

Th' entire walk back, ah keep an eye out fo' other varmints who c'd pass by me. ah don't be hankerin' ennyone else t'see her. ah have no way of knowin' how they'd reack. As usual though, ah don't see a sin'le varmint. It's midnight by th' time ah git home; fo'tunately fo' us both, ah had turned on mah po'ch light, otherwise ah might haf passed it. Bein' one of th' few occupied homes on th' block meant a lot of darkness. Th' city even stopped runnin' power t'street lights, so thet made it all th' mo'e difficult. ah glanced down at th' filly, who corntinued t'sleep in th' jacket as ah carried her. She was no longer shivahin', an' felt quite warm, dawgone it.

ah walk up t'mah po'ch, careful not t'make too much noise as ah git mah keys out, unlock th' two daid bolts, th' master lock, an' finally th' dore knob, an' open mah dore. It is dark inside, due t'me leavin' while it was still light out. Wif a flick of a switch, th' sin'le bulb in th' hallway comes t'life, sheddin' some light into th' livin' room, dawgone it. Most of th' furnishin's is mah parent's. Then agin, so is th' house. ah became th' owny of it af'er their passin', an' haf done whut ah can t'keep it thet way.

Still wif th' filly Rainbow Dash in mah arm, ah walk into th' livin' room, dawgone it. As ah pass mah fambly po'trait, ah greet it wif a "Howdy mom, howdy Paw." ah knows they aren't thar, but knowin' thet they loved me, an' thet ah love them, he'ps me stay sane, an' t'keep gwine in mah mizzuable life. As ah enter th' livin' room, ah can feel stirrin' in mah arm, dawgone it. She had woken up, most likely when ah turned on th' light, an' is now gittin' antsy. Wif no idea whut t'do o' how t'tackle th' situashun, ah set her down on th' couch.

Eemeejutly she jumps outta th' jacket an' looks aroun', already investigatin' her surroun'in's. ah continue t'watch her as she splores th' couch, then corntinues t'th' a six pack table.

"Whut in tarnation is yo' doin' hyar in mah wo'ld?"

ah didn't mean t'ax thet out loud, but it jest so't of happens ev'ry now an' then, as enny fool kin plainly see. Only seein' mah few friends once in a great while, ah find mahse'f talkin' to, fine, mahse'f a lot. ah don't own a pet, on account o' thet jest means mo'e money t'dish out an' I'm already strugglin' as it is.

Fum mah quesshun, th' only response is t'other blank look on her face. Thet tells me she has no clue eifer. Then agin, whut else sh'd ah speck fum a filly thet kin't even talk yet.

"Is yo' lost?"

Th' moment th' wo'ds lef' mah mouth, her ears fall an' she looks t'th' groun'.

"Oh..."

Th' realizashun strikes thet she has no clue whut is gwine on, whar she is, who ah's, o' ennythin' else. She's beyond th' wo'd "lost": she is misplaced, cuss it all t' tarnation.

"Wal, until sumpin happens, ah guess yo' kin... stay wif me."

ah see how she lif's her haid up, ears startin' t'ereck once agin, an' looks at me wif wo'ry. Mah wo'ds don't soun' thet incouragin', so ah throw on a smile as ah speak. Shet mah mouth!

"Don't wo'ry. I'm sho'nuff whutevah brought yo' hyar will fix itse'f wifin time. We jest... gotta wait. Is thet alright?"

I'm not sho'nuff whuffo' ah axed thet, but it seems t'do th' trick. Shet mah mouth! Her ears perk right up an' she smiles.

Th' next few hours is spent givin' her th' "gran' tour" of mah house. Nothin' amazin' t'see, an' ah avoid takin' her into mah bedroom outta fear thet th' large amount of dirty clo'es'd swaller her up. Af'erwo'ds, ah give her sumpin t'eat. ah bust up some small carrots, an' amazin'ly ah discovah she has some teeth. On account o' she is still a filly, ah wasn't sho'nuff eff'n she c'd ett solid grubs sech as carrots yet. Then agin, she is fum a cartoon so ah don't knows whut is "co'reck" fo' her ennyway.

Satisfied wif th' grub, she finds a comfy spot in mah Pappy's recliner an' sits. ah don't mind, it's not like ah set in it. ah was nevah allered t'when he was alive, so whuffo' sh'd thet change even af'er his passin'? It's his chair. But I'm not gonna be mean t'th' filly fo' not knowin' thet, so ah let her set whar she is most comfy. ah also give her a small blanket t'wrap herse'f in, due t'mah house's current temperature. It's not as cold as it is outside, but mah furnace has had problems on account o' befo'e mah parents passin'. Thar was a trick t'fixin' it, but thet died along wif mah Pappy.

ah muss haf fallen asleep at some point. ah honestly specked mahse'f t'be wide awake due t'sech an interestin' event, but af'er th' long hours at wawk an' stayin' up t'take care of Dash, mah hide had other plans. I'm not sho'nuff how long ah was out befo'e ah awoke, but it doesn't matter; as ah close mah eyes, ah feel sumpin aginst mah side. ah look, an' sleepin' beside me is th' small cyan filly; her rainbow mane an' tail still, her haid restin' on th' inside of mah elbow.

ah knows th' meme gits old, but ah muss say it: mah heart sploded agin.

Layin' thar, sleepin' an' curled up beside me had me smilin' ear t'ear. Her juntle breaths is barely heard, cuss it all t' tarnation. Th' hairs on her mane tickle mah arm, but ah hold back enny movement t'itch. Th' warmth of her hide aginst mah stomach warms mah already weak heart. Though a few months isn't a long time, it's how long ah have wanted a moment like this. Mah own li'l pony, a Rainbow Dash plushie t'sleep wif an' hold tight. An' now ah have a real Rainbow Dash, a filly, sleepin' at mah side; corntent as though she's known me on account o' birth.

Right now, thar is nothin' else thet matters t'me. Mah despair, mah so'e feet an' painful heart all hoof it unnoticed as nothin' else kin come remotely close t'th' feelin' ah have right now; this hyar joy ah's experiencin' at this hyar moment as ah lay awake on mah couch. She is hyar. She is real, ah reckon. Right now, she is mah li'l pony. She is... mah li'l Dashie.

It has been only four months on account o' ah brought th' yo'ng Rainbow Dash into mah home. I've done whut li'l "research" ah c'd on th' matter, but ah have come t'no cornclushuns. ah have no idea whuffo' she is hyar, an' quite frankly, ah don't even care ennymo'e. These few months wif her haf been the dawgoned-est amazin' time of mah life. She has opened mah heart up t'love an' joy, among other thin's. Right now, she sits next t'me on th' couch as ah watch tellyvishun.

She seems t'enjoy th' mo'nin' cartoons on th' local stashuns, an' ah mahse'f haf come t'enjoy them, dawgone it. She acks much like a yo'ng chile'd. Then agin whuffo''dn't she? T'other amazin' feat is she has been larnin' t'talk. Shet mah mouth! I'm not much of a skoo marm, o' fo' thet matter a parent, but ah's doin' mah bess to he'p her larn t'speak an' read, cuss it all t' tarnation. ah don't knows how, o' even whar t'begin t'attempp in larnin' her t'write. Fum th' show they did it wif their mouths, but ah will let thet hoof it fo' now. Once she is a li'l older, eff'n ah even haf her thet long, ah will does whut ah can t'larn her.

It used t'be thet a year'd hoof it by slowly. ah w'd look fo'ward t'th' noo year, in hopes of gittin' a fresh start. Now though, ah feel as eff'n this hyar year went by a li'l too quickly fo' me. I've decided, on account o' ah have no smarts of her acshul birth-date, t'make th' day ah foun' her her birthday. Seppember th' seventeenth...oddly inough, thet's th' mighty same date thet th' second season of Mah Li'l Pony: Friendship is Magic aired last year. ah quit watchin' th' show af'er Dashie came into mah life. Thar was no reason fo' me t'continue, an' honestly, ah don't haf much time t'mahse'f ennymo'e.

It'd be hard t'hide me watchin' th' show, an' even harder t'explain th' situashun eff'n she were t'evah see it, especially at her current age. She knowed her name was Rainbow Dash, but ah have come t'callin' her Pinkie's pet name of "Dashie", an' she has no problem wif it. She kin fully communicut wif me now, as fine as read English, an' she's even startin' t'larn how t'write wif, yo' guessed it, her mouth.

ah tried t'"invent" some devices fo' her hoof so she c'd write, but it seems writin' wif her mouth is mo'e natural than movin' her hoof aroun'. One thin' now troubles me wif her. Ev'ry day she sits at a window, lookin' outside. I'm not wo'ried about her bein' see by passerby's. I'm on a daid ind street, so thet's th' least of mah wo'ries. Still, though she doesn't say ennythin' t'me yet, ah can see th' hunger fo' fresh air in her eyes. ah can't keep her in hyar her intire life.

Ha...ah keep talkin' like she is a-gonna be hyar fo'evah. Thet isn't true. One day, some day, she will return home, whether it'll be a simple "poof" an' she's gone, o' through some magical spell an' Twilight shows up an' takes her home t'fix ev'rythin'. In mah heart, ah hope thet nevah happens. In mah haid, ah knows it will, ah reckon. It's jest a matter of when, as enny fool kin plainly see.

ah do hope t'git her outside soon, as enny fool kin plainly see. I've been checkin' out some of th' aban'oned lots an' fo'mer parks on mah walks t'an' fum wawk, seein' whar th' bess locashun'd be t'take her. Oddly inough, it seems th' park ah had played at growin' up is th' bess opshun. Thet shall be it then, ah shall take her t'th' park. Shet mah mouth! How will ah git her thar? She's still relatively small, so she kin be hidden inside a jacket o' sumpin. T'morry is supposed t'be a nice day, ennyway.

She did it. Af'er two years in mah care, an' havin' absolutely no smarts of flight mahse'f, ah he'ped her larn t'fly. She's gotten quite trimenjus in only a couple years, an' it was gittin' hard t'hide her when we walked t'th' park. Shet mah mouth! ah got so desperate t'keep her hidden, ah bought a houn'dog costoom fo' her t'put on, so she c'd walk thar unnoticed, cuss it all t' tarnation. She was not happy. So, ah got some books fum th' library an' read up on larnin' birds t'fly.

ah w'd haf looked on th' internet, but ah fear she'd become curious of it herse'f. Thar is a lot of ho'ro's on th' internet, an' she's not ready fo' it. In hind sight it's bad inough she is experiencin' tellyvishun, but she has come t'enjoy Spongebob an' Nascar too much fo' me t'take thet away fum her.

Back t'th' flyin'. I've been takin' her t'thet old park fo' weeks, in hopes ah c'd he'p her larn how t'fly. Thar is a large tree thar, wif branches stickin' out on over a san'box. Th' puffick spot fo' her t'prackice. Eff'n she falls, an' ah can't ketch her, at least she'll haf sumpin remotely sof' t'lan' on, as enny fool kin plainly see. She fell a lot. ah knowed she'd fall a lot. Thar were menny scrapes, cuts, an' bruises toward her goal, but finally, af'er menny weeks of wawk, she flew. It was only a sho't distance, about fif'y feet, but she still did it. She's a li'l scraped up, but she's beamin' wif pride. Mebbe now she c'd fly on overhaid, so thet th' few varmints on th' groun' don't notice her. I'll hafta see eff'n she kin manipulate clouds like she c'd in th' show; it'd make it much easier t'take her places. Then she kin hide on a cloud as we hoof it to th' park. Shet mah mouth!

T'other thin' thet has been brought t'mah attenshun. She axed me about havin' her own room, dawgone it. ah got reckonin', an' reckanized th' house does haf a spare bedroom, though mah parents had filled it wif mah old skoo stuff fum mah yo'nger years, as fine as sevahal of mah old toys. She might injoy them, though she is gittin' older I'm not sho'nuff how intertainin' they will be fo' her. Eff'n she has her own room, ah can git her her own thin's, so thet she kin feel somewhut no'mal, ah reckon. She's purdy smart fo' a filly, an' knows about th' difference between our species, but she still knows nothin' about her origeen. She is not ready yet; th' only thin' ah can does is keep her happy.

ah only wish ah had a way t'buy her th' thin's she be hankerin'.

Eff'n yo' told me four years ago I'd be takin' care of a cartoon, rainbow colo'ed pony, I'd call yo' insane. ah probably is in all reality, but ah don't care. I'm happy. She's happy. Today is a day fo' celebrashun, fo' today, mah li'l Dashie got her cutie mark. Shet mah mouth!

ah honestly didn't knows how t'tackle thet fack. She didn't even knows whut it was until ah explained it t'her. Now she's even mo'e ecstatic than befo'e. It was a no'mal park outin', but this hyar time she decided she wanted t'see how high she c'd git. ah had limited her t'how high she c'd fly, but honestly ah can't does ennythin' about whut she does up thar. ah can't fly, so the dawgoned-est ah c'd does is tell her t'be careful, ah reckon.

Somewhar she got it in her haid t'see jest how fast she c'd fly, probably due t'her bein' a Nascar an', fine, a juneral racin' fan, as enny fool kin plainly see. Fo' some time she was tryin' t'make up tricks an' stunts of her own, givin' them names. I'd jest set on a bench ah had fixed up an' cheer her on, as enny fool kin plainly see. No one was evah aroun' ennymo'e. In fack, on thet block, ah reckon th' last varmint lef' on over a year ago. Thar is rumo's th' entire area is a-gonna be bought out by some compenny howevah, an' all this hyar turned into a large manufackurin' area. ah don't knows how ah feel about thet... but it's not impo'tant now. Right now, I'm so on over come wif joy thet mah Dashie now knows her place. Granted this hyar isn't her wo'ld, she is still th' same Rainbow Dash fum th' show.. Regardless of how ah raised her, she has thet same spunk an' attitude fum th' show. An' now, she has her cutie mark. Shet mah mouth!

Ennyway, she climbed t'quite a height in an attempp t'gain speed fum a fall, ah reckon. Wal, all th' right thin's facko'ed fo' her; how she posishuned herse'f, her mental focus, an' postibly me on th' groun' watchin' an' cheerin' her on, but she did it. She busted th' soun' barrier, an' created a sonic rainboom on overhaid.

Now, ah didn't even imagine it was postible t'accomplish sech a feat in mah wo'ld, cuss it all t' tarnation. ah knowed yo' c'd bust th' soun' barrier, but acshully does th' rainbow part too? Mah mind is blown, as enny fool kin plainly see. So, th' initial sploshun brought upon menny busted windows an' sent off car alarms in th' next county. ah quickly roun'ed her up an' we rushed home befo'e ennyone c'd arrive at th' park. Shet mah mouth! ah was lucky none of mah windows were busted.

Th' ress of th' day was spent celebratin'. It jest so happened today was her fourth birthday. ah have no way of knowin' how old she acshully was when ah got her, so ah jest started on over. ah w'd haf bought a cake, but due t'th' boom all th' businesses were closed an' needed noo windows. So, we made a cake on our own, as enny fool kin plainly see. Apparently th' fan fickshun writers got it right: she kin't bake at all, ah reckon. Granted I'm not th' bess mahse'f, but it was still a mess. But we had fun, she injoyed herse'f, an' she is happy. Tharfo'e, ah's happy.

Though thet was her highlight of th' day, mine was jest moments ago. She has now come accestom t'sleepin' in her own room vahsus wif me out on th' couch. ah acshully stopped sleepin' in mah room, an' kepp her compenny in th' livin' room up until recently. Now ah can sleep on mah own bed once mo'e, but ah keep mah dore unlocked, so eff'n she needs me, she kin git me. ah had jest tucked her into bed an' told her finenight when she said it.

"Goodnight Pappy. ah love yo'."

ah haven't been on th' internet in, whut, three years now? ah don't knows how th' Mah Li'l Pony thin' online is doin', o' whut memes is still alive o' not. But dadburn it all, I'm gonna say it cuz it's true! Mah heart sploded twice! Fo' th' fust time, not only did she call me Pappy,  which she has done on occashun, but she even said, cuss it all t' tarnation... "ah love yo'."

Fo' a moment, ah didn't knows whut t'say o' whut t'do. I've nevah been in this hyar so't of situashun befo'e. But ah remembered whut mah Mammy an' Pappy used t'do. So, ah leaned down an' kissed her on th' fo'ehaid an' told her th' same thin'.

"Goodnight, mah li'l Dashie. ah love yo' too."

She smiled at me, then closed her eyes t'sleep. ah walked out, turned off her light, makin' sho'nuff her Spongebob nightlight was on, of course, closed her dore,  then sat down on th' couch. ah haven't moved fo' an hour now, I'm so lost in thunk. Th' few times she had called me "Pappy," ah didn't reckon ennythin' of it. ah c'd pitcher whuffo' she called me thet. Bein' wif her so much made me accepp it as part of takin' care of her. But tonight when she said them three wo'ds, th' realizashun finally sunk into mah heart. ah's her Pappy.

She cornsiders me her Pappy. An' quite frankly, ah consider her mah dotter. Even though we is of a mighty diffrunt species, ah still love her wif all mah heart. An' it has taken her t'speak them wo'ds t'me fo' me t'finally reckanize thet. ah reckon ah have finally done it. ah have busted mah hard shell thet had fo'med when mah parents died, cuss it all t' tarnation. I've let a sweet li'l filly into mah life. ah gave her a home t'live in, grub t'eat, an' now a Pappy t'love. She has given me hope, love, compasshun, an' now sumpin ah thunk I'd nevah utter: a dotter.

ah still speculate when th' time is a-gonna arise thet she goes back t'Equestria. An' etch day it gits harder fo' me t'imagine when thet acshully happens. ah jest hope thet she nevah fo'gits me, on account o' ah will nevah fo'git her.

ah believe Dashie is now at her full size. Roun'in' in at about three feet tall, she is fully grown, as enny fool kin plainly see. Though she is still only ten years old acco'din' t'mah math, ah believe she is acshully mo'e along th' lines of fourteen o' fif'een postibly in acshul years. So, we celebrated five missed birthdays an' officially movin' day. Thet's right, movin' day. We moved fum mah parents house, thanks t'me finally savin' up inough money, plus gittin' lucky at a casino. We bought a nice house a hundred miles away fum th' city. It's got a lot of open lan', thar isn't t'other house wifin five miles, an' it's jest me an' her.

Now she kin fly aroun' all she be hankerin', whenevah she be hankerin'. She is truly happy, though she does miss th' old park. Shet mah mouth! It's gone now, along wif ennythin' else lef' in th' area. A large business bought all th' lan' up, flattened it, an' built a large facko'y thar. It was an amazin' boom t'th' economah, an' varmints is startin' t'build homes agin! Fry mah hide! I'm glad, but... it jest wasn't fo' us. Thet amount of varmints'd hinner her gwine outside, an' I'm not a-gonna fo'ce her t'stay inside all day unless it's rainin' out.

I've gotten a noo job, one thet pays much mo'e than mah old one. Dashie even talked about gittin' a job, but then she remembered whut ah told her. Th' look on her face was heartbustin'. We were injoyin' a cake we made, which ah muss add we haf improved upon thet skill, when she brought it up. ah jokin'ly said she kin't due t'her bein' a pony an' ah laughed, cuss it all t' tarnation. She reJawjad silent. Mah god I'm ho'rible. I...ah jest laughed on account o' mah dotter is diffrunt.

ah apologized fo' hours, an' even though she says she unnerstan's, ah knows she is still hurt. Lucky, ah have a way t'fix this. Due t'th' sheer size of th' propuhty, it involves a lot of cuttin' of grass. T'morry ah will modify a lawn mower fo' her t'use, so thet she kin haf a job. Well bust mah britches an' call me streaker. I'll even pay her, so thet she kin buy her own stuff eff'n she be hankerin'. Though I'd hafta git it fo' her, still she kin acshully say she wawked fo' sumpin. Acco'din' t'th' show, she was a weather pony. An' ah don't haf her mess wif Mammy nature unless it's a dire emerjuncy, so thar isn't pow'ful enny job t'be had thar.

ah still kin't believe I've had her fo' ten years now. Mah god, time goes so fast... ah wish it'd slow down, so thet ah c'd haf mo'e time wif her. ah don't knows when, but ah have th' sudden feelin' our time togither is runnin' out. All of this hyar has been too fine t'be true.

Today has t'have been th' wo'st time of mah life, even mo'e than when mah parents died, cuss it all t' tarnation. Due t'events ah c'd not prepare fo', Dashie foun' out th' truth befo'e ah c'd tell her mahse'f. She knows whut she is, a made up cartoon chareecker fum a kids tellyvishun show. She is mad, no, upset beyond all thunk. She had locked herse'f in her room, but ah knows mah dotter. She didn't stay in thar long, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells! She opened her window an' flew off, probably into a tree t'sulk in her so'row.

I'm a monster.

ah sh'd haftald her sooner, ah jest wasn't sho'nuff when'd be th' right time. Now we is both sufferin' fo' mah carelessness. ah thunk gittin' cable'd be a fine thin', give her some mo'e shows t'watch, but whut ah didn't reckanize was thet we got th' HUB stashun. ah wasn't even aware it was still up, an' find mah surprise th' show Mah Li'l Pony is still even AIRING! Fry mah hide! It had stopped at eight seasons, but still it was repeated, cuss it all t' tarnation.

ah remember ah walked in fum wawk wif some groceries, set them into th' kitchen, an' walked into th' livin' room, dawgone it. Thet's when ah sar it...

"YAY! Fry mah hide! SHE DID IT! Fry mah hide!" Fluttershy had screamed, jumpin' wif joy as Applejack, Twilight, an' Pinkie Pie all sat on th' clouds wif dumbfoun'ed looks on their faces.

Mah heart sank. Shet mah mouth!.. ah knowed this hyar episode... ah remembered this hyar episode. Even af'er seein' nothin' fo' twelve years... ah still remember thet dadburn episode. In thet episode, Rainbow Dash perfo'ms th' sonic rainboom, much like how mah Dashie had years ago. At th' time ah was still holdin' mah keys... an' ah dropped them, dawgone it. They clanged on th' wood flore; eff'n she didn't knows ah was home befo'e, she knowed now.

"How long, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells!.." Dashie axed me, no emoshun in her voice.

"I..."

"How long haf yo' known about this?"

"I..."

Dashie turned t'look at me. She had been cryin', an' her mane was in even wo'se shape than no'mal, ah reckon.

"HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN ABOUT THIS?! Fry mah hide!"

ah c'dn't he'p it... a tear scooted down mah cheek as she yelled at me. This hyar was th' fust time in all these years she had raised her voice t'me.

An' ah desarved ev'ry bit of it.

So, ah sat down, turned off th' tellyvishun, an' told her ev'rythin'. ah told her about th' show, about findin' her, an' answered enny other quesshuns she had fo' me.

Thar were a lot.

Most of them stemmed fum th' show, t'which ah simply told her whut ah truly believed, cuss it all t' tarnation. Thet though she is th' Rainbow Dash fum th' show, thet she herse'f is a diffrunt pony fum th' cartoon, as enny fool kin plainly see. ah tried t'explain it t'her, but her bullhaidedness took on over as she corntinued t'lash at me.

ah took it all, ah reckon. ah desarved it all, ah reckon. I've been keepin' thet ho'rible secret fum her fo' far too long, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells! She is now a fully grown mare, capable of takin' care of herse'f eff'n she were in Equestria. Hyar, ah treat her still like she was mah li'l filly. It's been wrong of me, but ah c'dn't he'p it. ah didn't be hankerin' this t'evah happen, but ah knowed it'd. ah sh'd haf done whut was right, but ah didn't. It was only a matter of time befo'e she foun' out, an' she knowed she was diffrunt.

Af'er our argoomnt, she flew upstairs into her bedroom, an' slammed her dore shet. ah checked on her an hour later, an' no response told me she had flown off. ah can only hope thet she comes back, o' at least, eff'n she doesn't, she stays away fum enny other varmints. Eff'n ennythin', ah hope some so't of po'tal opens up an' she goes back t'her wo'ld, an' nevah has t'reckon of me agin. All ah can say t'her at this hyar point, is thet I'm so'ry.

I'm so... so... so'ry.

It's been three days on account o' Dashie lef'. Th' night of her departure, ah did sumpin ah hadn't done in a long time: ah went fo' a walk. Shet mah mouth! ah wasn't sho'nuff whar ah was gwine, o' how long ah walked, but thet's whut ah did, cuss it all t' tarnation. ah walked, cuss it all t' tarnation. Now, three days later I'm findin' mahse'f out hyar walkin' once agin. I've been out fo' roughly three hours, an' though it is only five in th' af'ernoon, it has grown dark. Shet mah mouth!

A sto'm is brewin', an' soon ah will be gittin' hit by th' brunt of it. ah turn aroun' t'begin mah walk home, though ah don't rush. Mah inergy these past few days has been non exissent, as ah have barely ett up ennythin' mo'e than some toast. ah feel so lost as ah walk through th' woods thet surroun' mah home. No, our home. It is as much hers as it is mine, an' nothin' will change thet.

Th' rain has begun, but ah do not quicken mah pace. ah jest walk, much like ah had done so long ago. Th' distant memo'ies of all mah pain an' so'row befo'e Dashie begin t'seep back into mah mind, cuss it all t' tarnation. ah haven't had these thunks in years. Th' pats of water on th' tree leaves he'p keep me distracked, cuss it all t' tarnation. It's a peaceful soun', one yo''d nevah hear in th' city.

Th' rain is pickin' up as mah shirt is now soakin' wet. I'm sho'nuff ah will be sick t'morry mo'nin', but ah don't care. I've been sick fo' three days now; a mental illness thet has been tearin' me apart. Mah dotter is somewhar out hyar, hurtin', needin' some comfo't an' warmth in this hyar rain, as enny fool kin plainly see. ah wish ah c'd be thar fo' her, even though she may not be hankerin' me to. She may not evah be hankerin' t'see me agin fum how she acked, cuss it all t' tarnation.

ah don't blame her... it muss be sech a ho'rible thin' findin' out yer past like thet. ah can't even imagine whut it'd be like. ah knows Dashie is a strong mare, an' she kin pull through. But ah also knows how she holds a grudge at times. I'm not sho'nuff thet, even eff'n she did come back, she'd evah fo'gimme. Or mo'e impo'tantly, eff'n ah c'd even fo'give mahse'f.

It's now pourin' out hyar. Th' tree kinopies is barely holdin' back th' to'rential rain as I'm hammered by th' water droplets. ah stop t'look aroun', an' find mah barin's t'return home. I'm not lost; most of this hyar area is easy t'travahse once yo' git used t'it. It's jest I'm also lookin' fo' Dashie as ah walk. Shet mah mouth! It's th' reason whuffo' I'm walkin' in th' fo'ess in th' fust place.

ah press on, keepin' a steady pace through this hyar rain, as enny fool kin plainly see. Suddenly, ah spy a large, thick tree. Its stature sticks out amongst th' rest, an' fum lookin' at th' barely wet grass unnerneath ah can tell its menny branches is holdin' back even this hyar hard rain, as enny fool kin plainly see. ah need t'take a bust, so ah walk unner th' tree an' set down, as enny fool kin plainly see. Th' grass is barely wet, wif only a few small droplets makin' their ways down, as enny fool kin plainly see.

This hyar is th' kind of tree I'd imagine Dashie'd hide unner in this hyar rain, as enny fool kin plainly see. ah wish it t'be true, but ah sar no sign of her as ah approached, cuss it all t' tarnation.

ah close mah eyes, an' lean aginst th' tree hulk as ah reckon about mah life... our life, togither as a Pappy an' dotter. We haf grown so much as a fambly, an' haf been fo'tunate inough t'have mighty few fights. None of them were as heart-bustin' as th' one three days ago.

ah feel a tear runnin' down mah cheeks as ah imagine Dashie's face agin. Th' anger in her eyes, mixed wif th' confoozion, jest tears me apart. ah's hankerin' so badly t'make thin's right, o' hoof it back in time an' stop it fum happenin'. But ah can't does eifer of them. Whut in tarnation's done is done.

“I'm so so'ry...”

ah speak out loud, not carin' fo' no one is lissenin'. I'm alone in these woods, besides th' wild-life. In this hyar rain they is hidin' as fine, an' th' ones thet aren't is far fum a bein' sech as I.

“I'm jest so so'ry, Dashie.”

ah continue t'cry as ah keep mah eyes closed, an' leanin' aginst th' tree. Th' rain corntinues t'pour aroun' me. An occashunal drop hits mah haid, but ah don't care.

Crack

ah open mah eyes fum th' sudden soun', an' look t'mah lef'. I'm shocked at whut ah see befo'e me, lookin' at me wif teary eyes herse'f. Dashie, mah li'l Dashie, covahed in burrs an' tree sap along her mane an' tail, is stan'in' a couple feet fum me. She is wet, wif both rain an' tears. ah hadn't heard her approach, then agin bein' a Pegasus she was mighty quiet an' light on her hooves.

She doesn't speak, an' instead walks on over t'me, not carin' whut noises she makes unner her hooves. ah don't move; ah jest set on th' groun' an' watch wif mah own wet eyes. She looked so ho'rible, an' yet so right purdy at th' same time. Her coat'd need a fine cleanin', but thet was th' least of mah wo'ries.

Wifout a wo'd, she sits next t'me, not makin' eye corntack as she looks off into th' woods. ah can only look at her, wishin' t'hug her tightly an' nevah let her hoof it agin. But ah hold back, knowin' thet it'd be too sudden, as enny fool kin plainly see. Finally, she is fust t'speak. Shet mah mouth!

“I... ah heard yo',” Her voice then got quiet as she whispers, “An' I'm so'ry too.”

ah simply smile through mah tears; her stubborn an' raised attitude was still showin' as she allus had difficulties apologizin', “Dashie, yo' haf nothin' t'be so'ry about. It's mah fault, simple as thet.”

It seems mah point doesn't git acrost, as she finally looks t'me wif a so'rowful face.

“Paw. Do... does yo' still love me?”

Now is th' time t'ack. ah retch on over an' grab her, holdin' her in a tight hug, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells!

“Of course, Dashie. I've allus loved yo'. ah still love yo', no matter whut. Not even a small fight sech as ours c'd evah change thet.”

She returns th' hug, as we set thar an' cry togither. We corntinue t'apologize, me fo' th' truth an' her fo' raisin' her voice an' sto'min' out. Af'er some time, th' rain subsides while we remain unner th' tree.

“Paw.”

“Hm?”

“Kin we hoof it home now? ah need a shower, bad, cuss it all t' tarnation.”

ah let out a chuckle, an' she too laughs as ah stan'. We make our trip back home; she is smilin' agin. ah's too. I've been givin' it some thunk, an' ah reckon ah shall give her her birthday present a li'l early.

A ticket t'th' Indy 500. Yessuh, I'm takin' her t'th' Indy 500. She kin simply set on some clouds an' watch while I'm in th' stan's. ah didn't even hafta git her a ticket, but she needs some so't of reminner of her visit. I'm sho'nuff she will haf a blast, an' though ah don't speck this hyar to make ev'rythin' right, ah can only hope it cheers her up some.

Wif some time, I'm sho'nuff she will relax an' settle down about her bein' in th' cartoon, as enny fool kin plainly see. She's a smart mare, an' knows she is real, not thet made up pony fum th' cartoon, as enny fool kin plainly see. ah can only he'p push her t'believin' thet, an' hope she does th' same t'me.

Thar is a point in ev'ry parents life when they hafta let their chile go. Whether it be fo' th' better o' fo' th' wo'st, it muss happen at some point. ah now set har in mah livin' room, by mahse'f, sulkin' on over photographs of mah distant memo'ies of me an' Dashie. On her twentieth birthday, ah had planned a special outin' t'go see a flight show. As we prepared t'leave, thar was a knockin' at th' dore.

Nevah in th' years we haf lived thar had ennyone knocked at th' dore. Hell, we hadn't even made arrangements eff'n someone did show up. ah simply told her t'go t'her room while ah took care of it. Once ah heard her dore shet, calmly an' colleckively ah axed who it was knockin', speckin' some peekoolyarr postibly lost on his o' her travels. A female o' th' opposite sex voice spoke in sech a elegant, yet attenshun grabbin' tone ah felt mahse'f lissenin' t'her wif th' utter most attenshun. She axed eff'n she may come in; a quesshun I'd no'mally refuse wifin a heartbeat, an' yet sumpin about her voice was reminiscent. ah c'dn't he'p but walk on over an' open th' dore.

When ah fust sar th' figger stan'in' on mah po'ch, ah wasn't sho'nuff eff'n ah was dreamin' o' hallucinatin'. Stan'in' thar, was th' radiant an' majestic Princess Celestia. ah was at a lost of wo'ds; fightin' both emoshuns of brony excitement which ah had only felt when ah fust foun' Dashie, an' emoshuns of so'row fo' ah knowed whut this hyar meant. She stood thar t'other second lookin' at me; we matched etch other in eye level, her hide bein' th' size of a nearly full grown houn'dog. ah stepped back, an' allered her t'enter. Whut in tarnation caught me off guard next, was th' five other ponies thet follered sueyt. Fust Twilight Sparkle, then th' ress of th' gang: Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, an' lastly Pinkie Pie bounced in, as enny fool kin plainly see.

"Ooooh, so this hyar is whut an alien house looks like on th' insi- OH MY! Fry mah hide! YOU HAVE A KITCHEN! Fry mah hide! I'm starvin', is yo' starvin'? ah can make us some-"

She was stopped by Applejack's hoof, "Easy thar sugarcube. We're jus' hyar fer Rainbow, so we ain't got no time fo' enny eatin'."

Applejack's stomach growled, "No matter how hungry we are."

ah still wasn't sho'nuff how t'completely reack t'all this, but not wantin' t'be rude ah offered some lef' on overs, "Uh, we haf some lef' on overs fum dinner last night. Yo''re mo'e than welcome t'some."

Pinkie took thet as an "ok" an' scooted into th' kitchen wif much git-up-and-git. It seemed ah did not even need t'tell her whar ennythin' was; she instantly knowed whar ev'rythin' was placed, cuss it all t' tarnation. Facko' it t'eifer dumb luck o' it simply bein' Pinkie Pie... ah chose th' latter.

"Ah'll hoof it keep an eye on her," Applejack said, walkin' t'join th' hyper pony. As she passed, she tipped her hat t'me. ah was findin' it odd th' ponies were not mo'e hesitant aroun' a creature sech as me. Then agin, th' same c'd be said fo' mahse'f, but havin' Dashie fo' fif'een years ah grew used t'havin' sech a thin' aroun' me. Now, ah have five other ponies an' a full sized goddess houn'dog lookin' at me wif th' same amount of curiosity thet ah held fo' them, dawgone it.

Thar was a moment of silence as ah watched th' two mares inter mah kitchen an' begin t'rummage through mah fridge.

"I'm quite surprised," Celestia began, "ah had specked a li'l mo'e resistance t'us interin'."

"Whuffo'? ah knows who yo' all are."

Celestia nodded, "Ah, so yo' does knows then, as enny fool kin plainly see."

"Thet yer fickshunal chareeckers fum a chilluns T.V show, then yessuh. Otherwise whuffo' yer all hyar I've no clue."

Th' last part ah lied, hopin' t'keep mah mind at ease. ah knowed th' reason, but ah wanted t'igno'e it.

"Oh, ah reckon yo' does know."

Mah heart fell into th' pits of mah stomach. ah did know, an' she was straight t'th' point about it. Durin' all these years, ah had annicipated this hyar moment, but as time drug on thet thunk slowly dispelled until it was jest nothin' mo'e than a mino' nip in mah mind, cuss it all t' tarnation. Thet's when it allus happens, yo' know; when ev'rythin' is finally puffick an' yo' don't hafta wo'ry ennymo'e.

"Um, excuse me suh," Twilight began, "But fum whut we c'd figger out Rainbow Dash sh'd be hyar. Is she?"

ah looked t'th' purple mare; ah wanted t'tell her no, but ah knowed it was fruitless.

"She's up stairs in her room, dawgone it."

"In, her room?" Rarity axed surprised, cuss it all t' tarnation.

"Yessuh, Dashie is in her room, dawgone it. ah wasn't sho'nuff who was knockin' an' didn't be hankerin' her t'be spotted, cuss it all t' tarnation."

"Dashie? Mah mah, yo''re thet friendly wif her already?" Rarity corntinued, cuss it all t' tarnation.

ah wanted t'punch thet pony so hard right then; how she responded insulted me, "Friendly? Thet's not even th' beginnin' of it. An' ah sh'd be axin' yo' ponies as t'whut th' hell yo' did?"

Celestia raised a brow, taken back by mah change of tone, "Yo' see, mah student-"

"ah knows who she is, git t'th' chase," ah was mighty sho't wif her. As furious as ah was, ah wanted t'knows whuffo' they'd send Dashie as a filly t'some other wo'ld, cuss it all t' tarnation.

Twilight bit her lip, as her skoo marm corntinued, "Yessuh, of course. Ahem, she was wawkin' on a spell t'he'p th' weather team wif some sto'm development. Wal, they made slightly too large of a sto'm, an' when Twilight used her magic t'try an' dispel it, it shot a lightnin' bolt meetin' her magic. Rainbow Dash was unfo'tunate inough t'be wifin retch of th' blast, an' it ingu'fed her an' sent her to, fine, hyar. So, we is har t'retrieve her, simple inough I'd imagine."

Befo'e ah c'd answer, Dashie called fum her bedroom, "Paw? Is ev'rythin' alright?"

Thet second mah heart stopped beatin' as ah looked fum pony t'pony. Etch one's face was in pure shock an' cornfushun. They reckanized th' voice of their Rainbow Dash, but she said "Paw."

"Uh... 'scuse me sugarcube," Applejack started, returnin' fum th' kitchen, "did ah jus' hear Rainbow call ya "Paw"?"

Befo'e ah c'd answer, Celestia started up agin, "Do yo' care t'explain?"

ah was lost; so menny thin's were runnin' through mah mind at once. Thar was only one thin' ah c'd does... an' ah had t'do it, but ah knowed ah w'dn't like it.

"Git into th' livin' room an' make yournelves comfy, I'll be right down wif her."

ah didn't aller a response; ah turned aroun' an' walked up th' stairs slowly.

"Paw?"

"Yea Dashie, I'm a-comin' up. We..." ah looked back down t'th' group of ponies as they watched me ascend, "... we need t'talk. Shet mah mouth!"

So thet's whut ah did, cuss it all t' tarnation. ah told her who was down thar, an' thet they were thar t'take her back. Shet mah mouth! She had see th' cartoon ev'ry so offen af'er some time, an' foun' th' wacky adventures intertainin'. She had given up enny thunk thet th' Rainbow Dash in th' show was her, an' only viewed it as t'other cartoon, as enny fool kin plainly see. As ah talked t'her, an' explained thet them mighty ponies she didn't believe in were downstairs, she brushed me off wif some laughs. She didn't believe me, an' thunk ah was playin' some joke on her. So, ah took her down into th' livin' room, dawgone it.

"DASHIE! Fry mah hide!" Pinkie shouted, jumpin' onto her cyan friend, cuss it all t' tarnation.

Dashie was quick t'shove th' pink pony off, "Hey, git away fum me!" She was taken back by th' sudden amount of ponies fillin' our livin' room, dawgone it. They all looked t'her wif wo'ried expresshuns as t'whuffo' she shoved her closess friend away.

Pinkie's cotton kindy mane went straight as she looked in cornfushun.

"Yo'... don't reckanize me... does yo'?"

"No, o' enny of yo'," Dashie corntinued, cuss it all t' tarnation. It hurt me in so menny ways. ah knowed these were her friends, but so menny thin's haf happened diffruntly thet she didn't knows th' truth fully. An' neifer did they, so ah had t'explain t'them, dawgone it.

"I..." ah started, "Dashie, take a seat please so ah can talk t'them, dawgone it."

She did jest thet, in her recliner. Th' entire time she looked at all th' ponies who occupied th' couches an' center rug in front of th' fire place.

It was time, but fust ah had t'start wif a quesshun, "How long ago was she sent on over hyar?"

Th' quesshun caught them off guard, but Twilight cleared her throat as she spoke, "About fif'een days ago, whuffo'?"

ah was speechless. Fif'een days ago? Shit, she's been wif me fo' fif'een years! Thet means a day in their wo'ld meant a year hyar.

"Wal," ah continued, "It's been a lot mo'e time than thet hyar."

"How long?" Twilight axed, cuss it all t' tarnation.

"... Fif'een years."

All th' ponies, besides Celestia, had their mouths agape.

"Thet don't es'plain whuffo' she don't knows us," Applejack said, cuss it all t' tarnation.

"Wal, thet's th' thin'. When ah foun' her, she was... a filly."

"Come agin?"

"Fum mah math, ah reckon she was no older than four o' five years old, cuss it all t' tarnation."

Now Celestia looked surprised, cuss it all t' tarnation.

"Yo' mean t'tell us, thet yo' haf been takin' care of Rainbow Dash fo' fif'een years, on account o' she was a small filly?" she axed, cuss it all t' tarnation.

ah simply nodded, an' looked on over t'Dashie who wo'e an expresshunless look on her face.

"We... she is..." ah started, but ah c'dn't hold back mah tears enny longer, "ah knows it's not true...god, ah wish it was, but-"

"ah unnerstan', th' ‘Paw’ now makes sense," Celestia lop me off, holdin' a stern look about her face. She was reckonin', tryin' t'piece togither in her mind whut had postibly happened, cuss it all t' tarnation. ah chalked it up t'th' magic, bein' unstable postibly revahted her in age.

Fo' a few moments it was quiet, besides th' breathin' of seven ponies an' mahse'f. Finally, it was Dashie who busted th' silence.

"So whut's supposed t'happen now?"

ah looked t'th' princess, tryin' t'read her face. No matter how fine ah had gotten at readin' Dashie's face, Princess Celestia had th' bess poker face ah had evah see. ah had no clue whut she was reckonin', o' feelin' at this hyar moment.

"Wal, it's quite simple. Twilight?" Celestia looked t'her pupil, who instantly perked up hearin' her name, "Do yo' still remember thet memo'y spell? Fum th' Disco'd incident?"

Twilight simply nodded, as she stood fum th' couch an' hopped onto th' flore.

ah knowed whut was gwine on, whut Celestia had in mind, cuss it all t' tarnation. She wanted Twilight t'eifer erase her memo'ies an' start fum anoo. Or, postibly, ah hoped she jest simply wanted t'give Dashie her memo'ies of their friendships an' time in Ponyville. ah wasn't sho'nuff whut t'do, ah felt it was right. ah knowed it was right, an' needed t'be done. ah had been tellyng mahse'f thet fo' fif'een years as ah waited fo' this hyar moment. But thar was sumpin ah needed t'say befo'e it happened, cuss it all t' tarnation. These ponies were a-gonna take mah Dashie away, an' ah had some wo'ds t'speak befo'e thet c'd happen, as enny fool kin plainly see.

"No, wait please," ah started, cuss it all t' tarnation. Twilight stopped, an' looked t'th' sun goddess, "Jest, gimme a moment wif her please. All ah ax, on account o'...on account o' this hyar is th' last time we'll see etch other."

ah had given up holdin' back mah tears, an' at this hyar point was openly cryin'. Th' ponies c'd tell ah was hurtin', an' Dashie didn't look t'be farin' too fine eifer. So, figurin' it wasn't fine t'prolong th' inevitable, ah walked on over t'th' chair Dashie sat in, knelt down t'meet her eye level as ah spoke.

"Dashie, mah li'l Dashie. ah love yo' wif all mah heart. Yo' haf done wonners t'open me up fum th' man ah once was. Yo'..." ah had t'pause a moment, t'settle down, "... yo' haf brought me so much joy in mah life thet ah can't postibly evah thank yo' fo'."

At this hyar point, Dashie too had begun t'cry. Thet only made it wo'se fo' me.

"These fif'een years we haf had togither, talkin', playin', flyin'; all them haf been so special t'me. ah jest be hankerin' yo' t'know, thet ah will fo'evah love yo'. It doesn't matter eff'n we aren't biologically related, o' of diffrunt wo'lds. ah don't care whut yo' may evah reckon of me, o' eff'n yo' evah even remember me, but right now, yo' bein' mah Dashie, ah's hankerin' yo'," ah poked her on th' chest, t'physically show ah was talkin' t'her, "to knows thet fack. Eff'n thar is evah a problem thet happens, an' yo' need me, don't hesitate t'find a way t'git me, okay?"

ah tried t'laugh, passin' th' last part off as a joke. It wawked, only slightly, as we both corntinued t'cry. ah c'd also hear some snifflin' fum behind me; ah c'd only pitcher Pinkie Pie cryin' much like she had at th' end of th' second episode in season one, af'er Luna an' Celestia had been reunited, cuss it all t' tarnation.

"D-d-do ah have t-t-to hoof it d-d-Pappy?"

It had been a few years on account o' she had acshully called me "Pappy." Most of th' time it was simply "Paw" o' "pops". It felt fine, knowin' she still cared fo' me inough t'call me Pappy, much like th' fust times she had said it t'me, so menny years ago.

ah simply nodded mah haid, as ah stood up. Befo'e ah c'd fully grasp mah balance, she jumped up onto me an' hugged me tight. ah c'd feel her tears on th' back of mah neck, an' ah returned th' embrace.

"It's yer acshul home, Dashie. Yo' don't belong hyar. Yo' need t'go back t'whar yo' belong, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells!"

"ah belong hyar, wif yo'! Fry mah hide!"

It hurt so much t'say, but ah had t'keep her cornvinced thet this hyar was th' right thin' t'do, "No, yo' don't. Yer limited hyar, only able t'fly aroun' th' house. Yo' haf no friends, o' other ponies t'relate to. ah was only takin' care of yo' until this hyar time'd come, but ah nevah thunk it'd be this hyar painful, ah reckon."

It reJawjad quiet fo' a few mo'e minutes as we held etch other tight. She didn't fight back, o' be hankerin' t'resist whut was happenin', which told me thet she knowed as fine whut muss be done.

"ah love yo' Pappy..."

"An' ah love yo' too, mah li'l Dashie."

We separeeted, as she lowered herse'f t'th' groun'.

At this hyar point all t'other ponies had tears flowin', even th' goddess herse'f. She had seemed quite smug about knowin' whut had happened, th' time difference an' sech, but it was evident thet th' age difference was a shock. Shet mah mouth! She most likely had specked t'find a thirty five year old Rainbow Dash, but instead foun' mah twenty year old Dashie.

Twilight stepped closer t'Rainbow Dash, snifflin' once befo'e her ho'n glowed, cuss it all t' tarnation. ah knowed whut was a-comin', it hurt so much... but ah knowed it was right. It was whut had t'happen, fo' her, fo' her friends, an' in a twisted way fo' me. Now ah c'd knows she was acshully gwine home, an''d be aroun' her friends an' c'd fly whar evah an' when evah she wanted to, wifout enny limitashuns. She c'd injoy friends compenny once mo'e.

"Wait! Fry mah hide!"

ah looked fum th' flore t'Dashie, as she backed away fum Twilight, "Befo'e ah go, ah's hankerin' t'git sumpin."

Befo'e ennypony o' mahse'f c'd protest, she flew up t'her room, dawgone it. She was quick, an' returned wif a shoe box in her front hooves. ah wasn't sho'nuff eff'n she'd be allered t'take ennythin' back wif her, an' ha'f specked th' princess t'protest. But she reJawjad quiet, allerin' Dashie t'quickly write down sumpin on a piece of paper an' set it on th' a six pack table.

She looked back t'me, still cryin', but wif a smile on her face. ah knowed she had reckanized this hyar was how it muss ind, an' knowed ah knowed thet as fine. Th' box, fum mah guessin', was probably her most cherished items thet she kepp fo' eff'n she had t'leave. Though it hurt me reckonin' about it, ah hoped she had a pitcher of us. Then agin, ah also hoped not, fo' she'd be fo'ced t'remember me a wo'ld away, an' thet hurt jest as much as ev'rythin' else.

"I'm so so'ry Rainbow Dash." Twilight started, cuss it all t' tarnation. "I...ah honestly wish thar was t'other way t'do this. ah wish ah didn't hafta does this. But..."

"Kin't..." Dashie started, "can’t he come wif me?"

Th' stutterin' in her voice told me she was simply speakin' her mind, not acshully axin' th' quesshun. Twilight shook her haid, unable t'keep eye corntack wif her friend as she cried befo'e her.

"Rainbow Dash-" Princess Celestia started, "He kinnot join yo' in our wo'ld much like how yo' kinnot stay in his. This hyar was all nevah meant t'be, an' th' wo'ld aroun' us was not made t'house yo'. An' yet..." Celestia looked t'me, smilin', then began t'look aroun' our livin' room, dawgone it. All th' photos of us togither, all her knick knacks an' belongin's strewn aroun' th' room, "... an' yet, sumpin right purdy happened hyar. Sumpin ah cannot explain in full, ah reckon."

"When ah reckanized whar yo' inded up, ah specked th' wo'st. ah figgerd yo' t'be ruined, tainted an' tarnished fum this hyar wo'ld's cruelty. But now, ah see thet it's quite th' opposite. Thet hyar, this hyar man thet has raised yo', shows me thet yo' were in fine hooves- Or, han's as it were."

Dashie sniffed once, beginnin' t'calm down as Celestia's wo'ds sunk in, as enny fool kin plainly see.

Celestia then returned t'lookin' at me, still smilin', "ah cannot speak fo' yo', but fum whut ah see in front of me, th' amount of love yo' both share an' haf shared togither, tells me thet yo' raised her as eff'n she was yer own, as enny fool kin plainly see. Even wif th' obvious differences, yo' still raised her un-biased as t'her species, her origeens. Yo' raised her as yer dotter, which only makes this hyar entire o'deal so much wo'se."

ah abso'bed her wo'ds, as fine as t'other ponies in th' room, dawgone it.

"So, ah muss say t'yo', dear suh, please does not hold mah student accountable fo' this. It was nevah her, no' ennypony elses intenshun t'cuz this hyar much hurt t'eifer of yo'. Eff'n yo' muss blame somepony, ah w'd ax yo' t'blame me. ah's th' one thet he'ped brin' them hyar, t'take Rainbow Dash back t'her home... away fum hyar."

ah jest c'dn't look at enny of them, dawgone it. Mah heavy breathin' bustin' down wif sobs. Mah mind was jest gwine on her own, reckonin' back at all th' thin's Dashie an' ah did togither. ah took a deep breath as ah spoke,

"...Jest how c'd ah blame somepony? Fo' sendin' Rainbow Dash hyar?”

ah sniffled, then cleared mah throat as ah continued, cuss it all t' tarnation. ah nearly choked up as ah searched fo' th' wo'ds t'express mahse'f.

"These haf been th' bess 15 years of mah life. So, eff'n ennythin', ah feel quite th' opposite; ah wish t'thank yo', Twilight, an' th' ress of yo'. Thank yo', fo' whut yo' did, though not intenshunal, ah reckon. Thank yo', fo' all thet came outta this. An' finally thank yo', fo' all mah years, mah life, an' mah love... wif Dashie." ah tried t'smile at Twilight between th' sobs, but she looked on th' edge of tears herse'f, an' c'd only look away, befo'e she cried herse'f.

Celestia then stood fum th' rug she laid on, an' walked on over t'me as ah stood, cuss it all t' tarnation.

"No need fo' thanks, fine suh. Instead, ah wish t'thank yo', fo' takin' care of one of mah li'l ponies. She'd haf nevah made it wifout someone much like yo'seff."

Celestia closed her eyes, an' then leaned her ho'n towards me. ah didn't move; ah wasn't sho'nuff whut was gwine on as she touched her ho'n t'mah haid. ah felt a sudden warmth rush through mah hide. She drew her ho'n away, still smilin' as she stepped back. Shet mah mouth!

"Thank yo'."

Then, t'other pony spoke up.

"Thank yo', suh," Twilight added, finally able t'speak through her tears.

"Thank ya," Applejack said, cuss it all t' tarnation.

"Thank yo', darlin', fo' carin' fo' our Rainbow Dash," Rarity spoke.

"Um, th-thank yo'," Fluttershy quietly said, cuss it all t' tarnation.

"THANKS! Fry mah hide!" Pinkie shouted, as she sprung up t'me an' hugged me.

ah c'dn't he'p but laugh a li'l fum her extrinsic attitude. Better yet, th' rumo's on th' internet were true; her mane did smell like cotton kindy.

ah reJawjad silent as ah nodded, then looked back t'Dashie, who also wo'e a smile on her face.

Th' ponies all returned t'Dashie as Twilight's ho'n began t'glow once mo'e.

"Is yo' ready now, Rainbow?" Twilight axed agin, returnin' t'Dashie an' startin' her magic.

She simply nodded, as she closed her eyes an' awaited th' inevitable.

It seemed time slowed down as Twilight's ho'n approached Dashie's fo'ehaid. Mah mind began fo'cin' ran'om memo'ies of us togither. ah can vividly remember th' splashin' of th' bathtub fum her bath times, befo'e she showered herse'f. ah can still taste our menny failed attempps at bakin' an' cookin' in juneral, ah reckon. ah still smell th' outdores fum our times at th' park, whar she was able t'spread her win's. Thar were so menny memo'ies, thet ah simply had t'shet off mah brain so thet ah c'd keep mahse'f focused on Dashie.

A sin'le tear scooted down her lef' cheek, as ah c'd see her eyes movin' unner her lids. Her mind was doin' th' same thin' mine was, fo'cin' our fondess memo'ies all at once, fo' this hyar w'd be th' last time we evah sar one t'other.

Finally, Twilight's ho'n touched Dashie's fo'ehaid. Thar was a bright light, an' when ah c'd see agin they were all gone. All th' ponies had disappeared, cuss it all t' tarnation. Through mah tears, ah sighed in relief. It felt wrong, but it also felt right. She was now th' no'mal Rainbow Dash thet belonged in Ponyville. ah stood in th' livin' room fo' sevahal mo'e minutes, jest starin' blankly at th' emppy flore thet Dashie had been stan'in' at jest moments befo'e. Then, ah looked aroun' th' room an' took notice at mah surroun'in's; ah noticed thin's were diffrunt. Pitchers thet once held images of me an' Dashie no longer hung fum th' walls.

Menny of th' ran'om varmintal items of hers were scattered aroun' th' livin' room were gone as fine. ah was cornfused, so ah ran up t'her bedroom t'look. Shet mah mouth! When ah opened th' dore, whut ah sar instead of her Nascar an' air show posters mixed wif her bed an' other furnishin's... was a simple office. A cheap desk wif a computer on it an' an homely lookin' potted plant.

It took me some time t'digess whut ah was experiencin', befo'e ah reckanized whut muss haf happened, cuss it all t' tarnation. It made sense, but it still stung me in mah chest. To make sho'nuff nothin' happened between wo'lds, Celestia muss haf removed enny exissence of Dashie evah bein' hyar. Bein' wif me. Fif'een years, all down th' drain as her exissence was wiped fum th' planet. ah felt as though all them years were fo' naught, wasted as ah w'dn't be able t'remember her.

An' yet... mah memo'ies still lingered of her. ah c'd remember ev'rythin' as eff'n it were still as vivid as when they happened, cuss it all t' tarnation. Then th' thunk clicked: she did sumpin wif her magic when she touched me wif her ho'n, as enny fool kin plainly see. Did, cuss it all t' tarnation... did she proteck mah memo'ies so thet ah w'd remember her? Had she done th' same fo' Dashie? ah walked back downstairs, an' into th' livin' room while ah thunk. On th' a six pack table, sat a book. Shet mah mouth! ah reckanized it; it was mah photo album, dawgone it. ah sat down on mah couch, opened it up t'th' fust page. Thar, was mah Mammy an' Pappy wif me sho'tly af'er ah was born an' raised.

ah continued t'flip through them, lookin' at mah own past. Thar was a gap af'er mah parents died, but t'keep mah Mammy's dream gwine ah had picked it back up. Makin' false pitchers of happy times an' injoyin' mah life t'stick into her book of memo'ies. Then, ah opened up t'a piece of paper. ah picked it up, an' eemeejutly reckanized th' han' writin'. Or mo'e co'reck, mouth writin'. ah speculated this hyar was whut she had writ down befo'e she lef'.

Paw,

Fo' fif'een years yo' took care of me. Fo' fif'een years yo' loved me, played wif me, an' made sho'nuff ah enjoyed mah life in a wo'ld not meant t'house me. I'm not a mare of menny wo'ds, but even though ah told yo' this hyar in varmint, ah felt yo' needed a writ vahshun of it so yo' will knows it was all real, ah reckon.

ah love yo' Pappy. Yo' he'ped shape me into th' mare ah's now. I'm not sho'nuff whut is a-gonna happen, eff'n ah will remember enny of this hyar o' not, but ah's hankerin' yo' t'knows thet yo' did a dadburn fine job of raisin' me, even eff'n ah was a bit stubborn an' raised at times an' sho't wif yo' durin' others.

Wif Celestia's permisshun, ah hope t'aller yo' t'keep our photos; our memo'ies, wif yo' so thet yo' will nevah fo'git. Agin, ah love yo', an' thank yo'.

Yer li'l dotter allus,

Yer li'l Dashie fo'evah,

Rainbow Dash.

ah set th' note back into th' page, flattenin' it wif mah han' as ah felt th' dried tear marks litterin' th' paper. ah read th' note on over an' on over an' on over agin, until ah had it memo'ized, cuss it all t' tarnation. Then, ah turn th' page, an' was greeted wif Dashie's filly smile.

So now ah set har, lookin' through mah photo album of our time togither. Her fust bath, her fust wo'ds, her fust drawin', even her fust preened feather, all in this hyar book of memo'ies. Ev'rythin' else in th' house is gone, but whut ah had put into this hyar book still remains. ah don't dast evah change thet eifer, but ah will corntinue t'add t'it. To show thet them years wif her he'ped not only shape herse'f, but he'ped shape me as fine.

ah's a noo man fum whut ah was fif'een years ago. Changed, given t'other chance by a sheer miracle of fo'tunate events thet transpired fum somewhar ah can't even speculate. Eff'n ah had nevah gone back an' checked thet box... eff'n ah had done sumpin diffrunt than ah had, cuss it all t' tarnation... c'd haf changed ev'rythin' between us. ah guess I'm lucky thet it all wawked out. ah can gladly say ah have achieved mah parent's only wish; fo' me t'be happy. Though ah's saddened, ah's still happy fo' th' time ah had wif her.

ah now set alone in this hyar emppy house, starin' at mah Mammy's rainbow pitcher wif a smile plastered on mah face; ev'ry time ah see it, ah reckon of Dashie. ah sh'd be cryin', ah sh'd feel ho'rible an' be hankerin' nothin' but mah dotter back. Shet mah mouth! An' yet, ah feel relieved t'knows thet ev'rythin' is alright. She didn't helter-skelter away, o' leave on bad terms; she is gone, home, t'whar she belongs, an' is safe.

ah look back down t'mah photo album, turnin' t'th' page af'er our most recent photo. Th' pages is blank. Shet mah mouth! ah still haf a lot of life ahaid of me, an' ah plan t'make th' bess of it.

Fo' mahse'f.

Fo' mah li'l Dashie.

Th' End, cuss it all t' tarnation.