Eddie In Equestria

by Pony_In_A_Fez

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure, Human
Length: 5619

Eddie has seen many things. But this sure has to be the strangest.

This is the tale of Eddie and how he came to Equestria.

Sorry if it is a little crap, this is my first Fan Fic.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-10 04:20:02 UTC

Epilogue

My name is… what was my name? It has been many years since I had actually told someone my name. For lack of an idea, I’ll just call myself, Eddie. I am what you could class as a drifter. I have lived in many countries across earth. I was there when the pyramids where constructed, When Pompeii burnt, the fall of Rome, Participated in the First Crusade, Discovered the Americas, and now here I am, freezing away in some New York alleyway. It was cold, too cold. I wasn’t exactly what you would call, Healthy. I had not eaten a decent meal since the 70’s, and my body was beginning to show it. I am a husk of what I once was. I stood at about 6’5’’, with long brown hair and deep, yellow eyes. Now I am not much more than skin and bones. My hair has begun to grey in streaks. I guess my age is finally beginning to show?

The cold has never got to me, but I am truly feeling it this time. In an effort to escape the cold, I huddled up in some building which was condemned many years ago. I made it obvious that I had entered, just in case some kind soul just so happened to want to help me.

On The Mean Streets

New York was always nice around Christmas, but the last time I was here for Christmas, the year was 1969. That was a nice Christmas. Christmas was usually the time for celebration for me, but the past few years had been rough. I have been in America for many years, I fought in wars, and I was in the theatre when Lincoln was shot. The years of the Wild West, man those where the years. The Great Recession was rough, but that’s when things begun to look toward me. I had made many friends in the First World War, I lost many, but I then began to befriend their families and went to war with the sons and daughters of my fallen comrades. I laid low during the fifties, but was dragged to war again during Vietnam. When I came back to America, I found that the times had begun to change and begun to lay low again. The 80’s were fun, the 90’s seemed gloomy and here we are now, in the 21st century. I was in Australia when that horrible day struck American in 2001, and so I moved back to America and landed in California, slowly making my way across America. I only arrived in New York just over a year ago, and it has been hell ever since. I have moved from building to building, but it is getting hard to find places to stay, especially in the city that is always growing. I have befriended a fellow veteran and the two of us usually make our rounds of the city before heading to the soup kitchen for our daily feed.

The year melted away to the point of where I am now. Christmas, 2013. The one for me to remember, as it would be my last one. My veteran friend passed away in October, so it was just me now. Now because he had died, I just began to let myself go. I didn’t eat. I refused to perform any form of self-hygiene. And just let myself slowly rot away in the back alleys.

December 24th, 2013.

10:13pm

I had broken into an old building which hadn’t been turned into a shopping centre yet and began to make myself comfortable for the night. As I slowly began to drift off, I felt a small hand touch my shoulder. I quickly opened my eyes and attempted to protect what little belongs I had left. A soft voice began to say, “Hey hey hey hey. It’s okay; I’m here to help you.” I looked to the source and found a young woman with light blue eyes, milky white complexion and a soft smile on her face.

“I’m here to help you.” She said again and continued, “My name is Sarah- Jane and I am going to take you to a warm, safe place for this festive season.”

I looked at her and managed to say in a raspy voice, “You’re Kind!! Toying with a man’s emotions like that! What do you have to say for yourself?”

Her eyes began to well up and all she choked out, “I’m not “Toying” with you. I am here to take you to a dry, warm place for Christmas. I saw the door busted open as I drove by, and I just felt that someone was in trouble. So could you please come with me, and I’ll take you to home.”

I sighed in disbelief and slowly made my way to my feet. My throat had become extremely dry from lack of hydration. I weakly said, “Lead the way.” Gesturing toward the door. Sarah- Jane began to perk up and a smile took over her face as she grabbed my hand. She lead my out the door and ran to a little red two door. I looked to her as she open the door and she said as she began to hop with joy, “Get in, I have the heater on!” The thought ran through my mind, was this how it all ends? Being lead to my doom by some “sweet” girl in a giant red Tic Tac? As I walked toward the car, I felt the heat from inside hit my cool body, and MY GOD! It felt good. I quickly clambered into the car and began to try and warm myself ferociously from the little vent. Sarah quickly climbed into the car and asked, “Would you like to get coffee before I take you home?”

Coffee With Sarah

I never really liked coffee, but beggars can’t be choosy. Sarah watched, bewildered by my ability to drink several large cups within a period of four minutes. She paid for every cup and she didn’t seem to mind me drinking more than five. Sarah let out a slight giggle as I attempted to protect my cup and savor every drop like it would be my last. “So tell me,” Sarah began to say, “What is your name?” I looked over to her with a confused look and replied,” Well, My name is… er…  My name is… I’m not sure. I can’t remember. Sorry.”  She looked at me and giggled.

That giggle. I have not heard a giggle that cute in many years. It wasn’t something you encountered very often, a cute giggle. Then I realized that she was talking and I replied,” Sorry, what was that?”

She giggled again and replied, “I said, how could you forget your name?”

I looked to her sincerely and replied, “It’s something that at my age I have no real need for.”

She giggled again and said, “Oh come on, you’re not that old, you look like you’re only what… 23?”

I tried not to laugh and make her feel bad, but I failed. I began to laugh uncontrollably and nearly fell over, and looked up to her to find a serious looking frown staring down disapprovingly at me. I rapidly contained myself and asked, “Wait, You’re serious?”

Sarah didn’t look to happy and she began to tap her foot on the ground. I might be old and out of touch with women, but one thing I have defiantly learned in my millennia of travel is how to tell when a woman is pissed.

“I’m very sorry, but I am roughly 5000 years old, I was born just before the Great Pyramids of Giza began construction. If you don’t believe me, ask me anything about anything that happened between now and then.”

Sarah began to walk away and said,” Yeah right, I should have known that you were just some other nut-“

“Pompeii was destroyed at around eight in the morning and I only survived as I had been in Rome and I was on the outskirts of town when I watched the sky turn a deep grey and slowly, the cloud engulfed the entire city and the ash began to clear after a few days. When it was clear enough, I ran to find my family, but the only thing I could find in place of my family was several statues. My wife, Aereleus, my son Pletus, and my daughter, Athena. Had all been turned to a stone like substance and that is when I made up my mind, I could never let myself become attached to another like that ever again. And on that day, a small piece of me died. So you may choose to walk away now, and think I am just some nut job you tried to help. Or you can accept my past and we continue with whatever you wanted to do.”

Sarah looked at me as if I had just spoken the words of god, and she had tears trickling down her cheek and let out a small sigh and said, “You’re!! But how?! And why?! But… huh?”

I smiled and lead her down the sidewalk with care as she tried to comprehend what I had just told her.

“If it helps, don’t try and think it out. I usually just go with it.” I said to the confused woman under my arm.

She looked up to me and tried to talk, but all that came out was a long, and very cute, squeak. The only thing that seemed logical seemed to be laugh at that squeak, and move on into the night.

The Apartment

Sarah had calmed down rather fast and decided that we had to go back to her house. I guess I could see why, it was getting late. After a short car ride, a few slips of the sidewalk, and climbing of a few flights of stairs, we arrived at Sarah’s apartment. She fumbled through her purse trying to find something, and she pulled a key out triumphantly. She unlocked the door and swung it open. The apartment wasn’t huge, but it wasn’t small. In the corner of the room stood a Christmas tree with all kinds of decorations flung about it. There was a small designer lounge which seemed to be the basis of design for the apartments design. She walked in and as she begun to shed her heavy coat and snow boots, she said to me, “Well, you coming in?” I snapped back to reality and entered the small area by the door and pointed confusingly toward my shoes and she said with a smile, “Take your shoes and socks off, and leave your coat by the door.” I did as she asked and began to shed everything up until the coat. Something seemed to make me connect to the coat on a higher level than I though and I stated before entering the kitchen, “I’m going to leave my coat on.” Sarah rolled her eyes and said, “I have dinner in the oven and it should be ready in about half an hour. There is a bathroom on the right down the hall. Why don’t you go and clean yourself up before dinner.”

Sarah seemed a nice girl. A bit too nice. I have never encountered anyone as nice as her since Jerusalem back in 12 A.D. and boy that guy was full of himself. Going around claiming he was the son of god. Yeesh. I was walking down the hall slowly and when I opened the bathroom door, I could defiantly tell that a modern age woman lived here. There were all kinds of bottles that took up the counter, and then there was a huge collection in the shower. The bathroom was small, but was enough to move about in. I guess that now is as good of time as any, so I began to shed my clothes and revealed to myself in the mirror, all the scars scattered about my torso and arms, each with a tale of their own which related to my journeys about the globe. After showering, I tied a towel around my waist and looked went to get my clothes, only to find a set placed on the toilet where mine had previously been set down by me. I poked my head around the door and yelled down the hall, “Hey Sarah- Jane is there a razor I can use or somethin’?” Sarah came running down the hall and said, “Yeah, there should be a razor in the top draw, but I don’t have any shaving cream.”

A smile ran across my face and I replied, “Its fine, I didn’t have and shaving cream in the Civil War, so why should I be bothered about not having any now?” Sarah smiled and said, “Oh, yeah! He he, I forgot. Dinner should be ready in about 10 minutes.” As she began to walk up that hall I yelled out to her, “Hey Sarah, Thank you for all this.” She blushed and turned away and entered the kitchen.

I returned to the bathroom and found a razor, and slowly began to hack away at the beard I had developed. After about five minutes, I was clean shaved and my face began to even look a shade of brown I hadn’t seen in years. I gave a smirk about my clean face. The next challenge. The bird’s nest which resided atop of my head. This was the toughest battle I had fought in years. I never thought that my hair could become so tangled. Sarah called out for dinner just as I finished cleaning up and as I walked down the hall, I felt like I was a new man. Upon entering the kitchen, Sarah turned to me and jumped a little and let out a small “Oh My.” It was cute.

“Am I clean enough?”

“Oh my, you look so different. I say, those clothes seem to fit you astoundingly!”

I was wearing a white T-shirt and dark blue jeans.

“Yeah about the clothes, where are my old ones?”

“Oh, they are in the wash, they should be clean and ready for you to wear in after dinner.”

We ate dinner together and began to chat away as we got to know one another. Eventually, the Christmas holidays had come to an end. Sarah and I began to develop some kind of a relationship and slowly, she and I began to develop feelings for one another and for the first time since Pompeii, I truly felt like I could love someone again.

A Morning That I Wished Never Came

Sarah and I had been a relationship for one year. It was Christmas again, but there was a slight difference compared to last year. I had a job, a motorbike, a girlfriend, and most importantly, a home. Sarah and I had moved out of the apartment we first lived in, and moved to a newer building down a couple of blocks from where we met. I got myself a job at the museum as a curator. The pay wasn’t good, but it was enough to get by.

Sarah seemed happy, so I was happy. And I decided to something special for her this Christmas, I was going to propose to her. I had thought about it thoroughly and it seemed like a good idea. I rode my bike to my bank, and asked to be taken to my depository box. I was taken to a small room, and my box was on the counter. I opened the box to be greeted by all my medals, a few tokens from previous wars, and an old wooden box. I carefully removed the box, and open it to make sure it’s contents was still there. And they were. In all its glory, lay my beloved wife’s wedding ring. Sure it was a little beaten up from years of being hauled about the globe. But it was still gold, and had a large pearl in the centre, which I had found many moons before her when I was a fisherman. I placed the box carefully into my pocket, and locked my depository box up as I doubt I would need any of its contents any time soon.

I walked out of the bank and began to make my way back to the old bike. When I suddenly got a pain in my side, and began to wince in pain. I slowly made my way into an alleyway, and dropped. I lifted myself of the ground as best as I could, and dragged my aching body to the side of the dumpster, and slowly put myself upright. The pain began to become unbearable, and I let out a loud groan of pain. Passersby just looked at me as if I was some kind of crazed fool.

The pain became more intense by the minute and slowly, I began to drift off. I closed my eyes trying to cope with the ordeal. I slowly drift off, when I begin to feel some kind of warm heavenly light. I open my eyes and look up to the source only to find it is coming from the sky.

A voice begins to bellow from the light as it slowly lowers down from the heavens to settle a few feet above the ground.

“Don’t fear my child. You are not dying. My name is Celestia. I am in dire need of help. I have selected you to come to assist me, my nation, and my world.”

I look at the sphere of light and attempt to say “No,” but my voice seems to be gone, along with my legs. WAIT, WHAT!!!!! My arms are disappearing too!! Oh God. This can’t happen to me!!! Everything begins to slowly fade to black as my body parts slowly vanish.

Everything is black, and I feel as if I am floating, unable to move, just float. As I slowly accept the black abyss, everything turns white, and I suddenly feel as if I am falling. I fall faster and faster and as I fall, a small opening begins to form in front of me gradually getting bigger. The opening shows nothing but a marble surface. I fall faster and faster, and then everything goes black again.

I wake up in a huge and strangely soft bed. I sit up, and everything is black.  I begin to panic slightly and shout, “Oh God! I’m blind!” I hear something rustle and the voice from earlier begins to say, “No my child, I have simply turned off the lights, would you like them back on?” I give a “Yes,” in reply the suddenly. Everything becomes clear. I check myself to see if I have been mugged, and find everything in its respectful place. My phone, wallet, ring, and keys all still where I left them. I begin to look around the room; it seems spacious, big window that opens up to a small city, then the… countryside?? The voice begins to say, “The view is spectacular, is it not?” And to my surprise, there at the window stands a large horse with an oddly coloured mane, a horn, and wings. The horse- beast turns to me, smiles and says, “Hello, I am Princess Celestia. Ruler of all Equestria. What is your name if I may ask?” I sit on the bed in horror. My mouth is agape, and all I feel is the horror setting in that I am in some foreign country, and I will never be able to see my Sarah- Jane ever again.

Celestia seems to have moved closer to me as I was lost in thought. She moves her head into my field of vision and asks, “What troubles you?” She has a look of genuine curiosity cast upon her long, regal face. I look up to her as my eyes begin to water, and reply, “Why am I here in… er… Equestria?” Celestia looked to me and answered in a monotone, “I require some assistance in a personal matter. As to you are one of the most outstanding humans on earth, I brought you here to Equestria to assist me.” I look at her with worry and ask,

“What am I supposedly here to assist you with?”

Celestia let out a chuckle and replied, “It is not I that you shall be helping, it is him.” And gestured toward a tall man with a long white beard while wearing robes. The man waved a friendly hello and walked over to me. By now I had gotten up from the bed and was now standing. The man was about my height with a similar build. He gave a smile and said, “I believe you have met my son, Jesus. So I think introductions are not required, as I know who you are Icarus.” My jaw drops as I have not muttered that name in millennia. He continues, “I have had Celestia bring you here, as I require something from you. I would like you to prove to me that earth deserves my helping hand once again, by proving that humans still follow the basic values that I had given thee.”

I gather my thoughts and reply, “Eddie. May you please address me as Eddie? I decided to try change things up by choosing a name I thought was unique. Now what exactly do you want me to do to prove that humans deserve your guidance once more?”

God chuckled and said, “May you finish this off Celestia?” Celestia bowed slightly and replied, “Thank you. Now for you to prove the human race in the eyes of God, he and I are requiring you to befriend the inhabitants of this realm and perform one good deed that is genuinely from the heart. If you do not comply with our wishes, then you shall be required to stay in Equestria for the rest of your life.”

Flight of Icarus

I sat in with the same though running continuously through my mind; I’m never going to see my sweet Sarah- Jane ever again. Oh, my Sarah. How I loved you. Now I was filled with a pain that I had not had in centuries. Why was love so tough on the heart? The three of us had moved into a small courtyard by now. It was cool in the garden but not cold. Celestia and God had established something and turned to me and said, “And what do you think?” I was drawn out of my haze as I heard the question. I looked toward the two with a look of confusion and replied, “I’m sorry, what was that?”

“I asked,” Celestia began, “If you would care to join us at the Hearth’s Warming Eve Pageant?”

I gave a nod and began to follow both God and Celestia. God exited the doors and climbed into a carriage, Whereas Celestia had stopped in the doorway, and revealed a small object from beneath her wing, handing me a pink and white scarf with her hoof. Well I was unsure about the color. Guess being colorblind has some advantages. She gave a small smirk and said, “Put it on, it’s rather cold out tonight.” I did as she said and I suddenly felt warm. I gave a slight gasp as the warmth had startled me, and Celestia just smiled and said, “Fear not my child, the scarf is enchanted to keep the wearer a nice 25 degree’s Centre grade each time they wear the scarf.”

Enchanted?? Does that mean that there is magic in this realm? I guess I could ask later on. For now I just want to find out how I can get home. Celestia had exited the doors, and was waiting in the carriage for me. I took a quick jog to the carriage and climbed in.

Considering that there were three large beings in this small carriage, it was still pretty spacious. Celestia and God continued talking and acted as if they were old friends whom were just trying to catch up. I had pulled out the old box from my pocket and began to look at the ring inside. Celestia and God had paused their conversation and drew their attention toward the old box in my hand. I had started to mumble slightly about Sarah, Aereleus, and my travels through time. I had picked up the ring and began to let out small tears as I had never even gotten the chance to say goodbye to either of the women that had entered my life. The ring began to glow a yellow and hovered out of my hand and over to Celestia and God. Celestia began investigating the ring, while God had a look of shock strung across his face. “Where did you get this ring?” God asked. I looked over to the ring as Celestia began to investigate it in a thorough matter.

“I got the ring from a stall, why?”

“Icarus, where did you get that ring?”

“I got it from a stall, WHY?”

“Just tell me. Honestly.”

“I have been honest; I got it from a stall.”

“Icarus!! This ring was made in Pompeii! Where did you get it?”

I had begun to get angry, as had God.

“I told you, a stall.”

“No stalls sold these unless you were in Po-“

“Po- what?”

God leaned back in defeat and looked to me and asked, “How old are you?”

I leant back and smiled smugly, “Why should I tell you? If you apparently watch over all of civilization, then you should know.”

God leant forward and his eyes stared into my very soul, and he shot me a frown before asking, “When were you born roughly?”

“I was born just before The Great Pyramids of Giza had begun construction. If that gives you an idea of how old I am, then why should I tell you?” I replied, still with that smug look on my face. God’s eyes began to widen and he had a look of sheer horror on his face. God looked to Celestia, and said sharply, “I have to go.” Before she could reply, he had vanished. She looked to me in worry and asked, “What happened?” I gave a small smirk and replied, “He just figured something out about me. Now please princess, may I have that ring back. It is very precious to me.”

The rest of the carriage ride was slightly awkward as Celestia and I did not speak much. When we arrived at the Canterlot Theatre of Performing Arts, we were greeted with a heard of ponies wielding cameras. Celestia answered a few questions, and showed me the way in. We were lead up a tight stairwell into a small theatre box, which was in the centre of the theatre. The room was dark, and the noise of quiet chatter filled the hall. Celestia leaned over and said, “Get ready for a history lesson unlike any other.” Just as I was about to reply, a bright light shone on the stage and some piped piper looking purple midget began to recite a script about what the play was about. I began to zone out and just watched a bunch of ponies act out what I believe was their versions of those awful nativity plays the children perform in every year back on earth.

I looked over to Celestia in an attempt to strike up a conversation, but found that she was sound asleep. I let out a little chuckle and thought that it seemed like a good idea, so I took a nap.

I was falling, no not falling, gliding. But why? How? I looked around me and it was all black. There was nothing, but the faint sound of my sweet Sarah Crying. I began to call out to her, but no sound came from my voice. Then suddenly it was over. I looked around as I tried to figure out what was going, but my confusion was set at ease once I realized that the performance was over, so in an effort to make it seem like I was awake, I stood up and began to clap. Celestia looked at me with a smirk and leant over and asked, “Did you enjoy your nap?” I looked at her and mouthed out the word “How” and she just smiled and said, “I have my sources.” I could only laugh as Celestia tapped on her nose with the side of her hoof. Everyone began to settle and she had turned and was making her way down the stairs. Celestia looked at me and said, “Are you coming? We are going to congratulate my student about the performance that she and her friends had just performed.” I looked over and mumbled as I got up, and replied, “Yeah… okay, just give me a moment.” Celestia had made her way down the stairs before I had caught up. She and I walked around the hall, and she began to say, “My student, she is a unique character. She has a tendency to over react. But you should get along with her just fine.” By the time Celestia had finished, we arrived back stage.

Meeting a Particular Group of Ponies

Celestia had told me to wait outside the change room, as she didn’t want the ponies startled, or something to that effect. I waited outside for a good five minutes before Celestia poked her head out the door and said, “You may come in, if you like.” Seeing as I had nothing to lose, I entered the room quietly and none of the bright ponies had noticed I had entered until… clunk. Everyone in the room looked at me as if I was some kind of monster; well I probably was to them. Celestia was the only one in the room who didn’t look shocked, and she said, “Girls, I’d like you all to meet Eddie. He is not from here, so please make him feel comfortable.” As I looked about the room, I noticed each pony had a tattoo one there rear flanks. There where all kinds of tattoos, the pink one had balloons, the orange one had some apples, the yellow one had three pink butterflies, the blue winged one had a cloud with a rainbow lightning bolt, the white unicorn had a couple of diamonds, and lastly was the purple one, She was facing me directly and I couldn’t see what hers was. The purple one slowly walked toward me, looking at each detail about me as if she was observing me. When she reached me, she looked up to my face and began to say, “Hello my name is-“, but she was cut off by a pink blur which had grasped itself to my chest. The pink one began to say, “Hey there! My name is Pinkie Pie; these are my friends, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity and Twilight! What’s your name? Where are you from? How long have you been here? What’s your favorite col-“, Pinkie couldn’t finish as a purple aura had pulled her of me and the purple one approached me again.

“Hello. My name is Twilight Sparkle. I apologies for Pinkie, she is just being, well… Pinkie. What is your name, if I may ask?” Taking it all in slowly, I begin to say, “It’s alright Twilight Sparkle. I presumed that Pinkie was a little… spontaneous, by the performance she gave tonight. My name is Icar- no, no. My name is Eddie. And if I may ask, who is who?” The Rainbow maned one jumped into the air and began hovering. She poked her chest out and boasted, “My name is Rainbow Dash, This here is Applejack,” Pointing to the orange pony. The orange one gave me a small “Howdy” when she was introduced. “Next is Fluttershy,” Rainbow continued as she hovered over the yellow one whom gave off an “eeepp,” when introduced. Rainbow then hovered over the white one and continued, “This here is Rarity,” whom gave a slight curtsey. Then Rainbow stopped and said, “You already know Pinkie and Twilight. So any more questions?”   I smile slyly and shake my head for a “no.”

Celestia smiled and said, “Good, now if you don’t mind, I have some business to attend to, I’m sure you can show Eddie about Canterlot, until it’s time to leave.” I look at her in shock and asked, “WAIT! Where am I going to stay?” Celestia turned to me in the door with a smile and replied, “I have it sorted out, now go and have a little fun with these mares.” Celestia then walked out of the small room and left me with the group of ponies.

The ponies began to chat away amongst themselves until Twilight said to me, “You can go outside if you wish, we still have to get out of our costumes.” I sighed in relief and exited the small change room. As I walked down the hall, the purple piped piper walked by, and that’s when I discovered he wasn’t a midget, but a lizard midget! I paused and looked at him as he walked by, and he looked up to lifted his head and said, “Sup?” and continued walking down the hall. All I could muster myself to doing was waving weakly as he walked away.

This was going to be a rough experience.

Dinner for Eight

Coming in the Future. I would say near, but I don't want all two people who read this to get excited about any release dates.