Kill That Freakin' Dog!

by iseeu46

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy
Length: 1383

Winona eats Derpy's muffin. Now Derpy is out for revenge.

The dog named Winona eats Derpy's muffin. Now Derpy plots to kill Winona but fails as she does.

This is kind of a Wiley Coyote and Roadrunner type of thing I guess. Anyway this is my first fic so don't expect any profession, I thought it was kind of bad myself but you might think differently. Dunno, let's wait and see.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-11 18:40:10 UTC

Kill That Freakin' Dog

Kill That Freakin' Dog

"Jeez, I can't wait to eat this muffin," said Derpy with her usual slow voice.

She took a bite out of the chocolate chipped goodness and embraced the taste, mmmm! Licking her lips for any last surviving crumbs, she started to flirt with the muffin saying things like 'Oooh I love you so much,' when every pony started to look at her weirdly. Even though Derpy had the mind of a train wreck, she still had feelings but this time didn't care much at all. She was just about to finish the muffin off when Winona, Apple Jack's dog came out of nowhere and snatched the muffin out of Derpy's hoof.

"HEY! GIVE THAT BACK!"

But it was too late, Winona had swallowed the muffin, this had brought a feeling of rage inside Derpy's gut. The greedy mutt looked at Derpy and gave her the look all dogs give when they are sorry, but Derpy knew she didn't mean it. With great velocity, Derpy flew up high to give Winona an aerial swoop attack, a move of offense known by the Pegasi. She began to swoop down, targeting Winona who's eyes had opened wider. Just as Derpy was about to hit the muffin nicking mongrel, Winona dodged out of the way causing Derpy to fly into a nearby stall. CRASH! The grey foolish Pegasi 'of doom' had completely destroyed the stall and knocked herself unconscious. After a few minutes, Derpy began to awoken from her unwanted slumber.

"Here, she's waking up," a nearby voice said.

Derpy gained full consciousness and looked up as every pony was looking at her, a paramedic Pegasi trotted towards her with a doctors bag. He lifted her off of the ground and began to inspect her for any damage. He moved her wings, legs, back, and neck and asked her if any of them were hurting, she replied with a nod saying 'no'. She finally remembered Winona which perked her up on her hooves.

"The mutt," she quickly said before zooming off into the sky, every pony nodding at how ridiculous she can be.

After a few hours of scouting ponyville like a search light, Derpy finally saw Winona licking herself near the apple orchard. With a leer, Derpy lightly and carefully landed behind Winona to give her a surprise attack. Knowing Derpy's clumsiness, she accidentally tripped over a rock lodged in the ground alerting the fur ball of her presence. Derpy looked up at Winona who then licked her face, the mutt then sprinted off like she had saw a hare and was a race dog. The Pegasi got up and wiped the saliva made present that was left on her muzzle.

"Yuck, you won't get away with such a crime," Derpy said intelligently before taking off once again.

Later on, Winona decided to go for a stroll down just outside of town. Over 300 yards across the field, Derpy was out of Winona's sight, planting land mines into the ground. As she saw the fur ball in the distance, Derpy rubbed her hooves together menacingly and let out a cackle before jumping into the nearby bush to watch the action.

"Let their be fire works," the now completely psychotic Pegasi said whilst putting on a pair of 3D glasses.

Winona had come out of the distance with a calm expression on her face, she didn't know derpy had place explosive over the mine. The gullible pet walked across the mark Derpy left to show herself where the land mine was placed. It didn't go off. After Winona passed the bush, Derpy jumped out confused and decided to go investigate why the mine didn't go off. She very gently tapped the mark with her hoof but there was no explosion, she then pressed her hoof on it a little more harder whilst scrunching her face up with fear. There was still no explosion, Derpy flung her eyes open and pressed her hoof on it even harder. KABOOM! Winona looked behind herself with a quick jump, Derpy was there completely black with ash. Winona laughed and zipped off, Derpy face palmed.

"This is not over," she said, getting up to take off like a rocket.

After Derpy cleaned herself up, she wanted to have another shot at trying to kill the dog. She had attached razor blades to the indent of a boomerang, she had seen this in a movie before and decided to give it a try. Influence from films or games is not the best way to solve your problems. Winona was walking through Ponyville with Apple Jack, Derpy hid behind some boxes as she saw the dog walking towards her position in the distance. Moments after Winona had past the boxes, Derpy shot up in the sky and flung the boomerang towards the thieving mutt. Winona had saw a ladybug on the ground and started to sniff it, ducking her head down causing the boomerang to fly past. It missed. The boomerang was now heading towards derpy as she let out a faint whimper.

"Aw crap," Said Derpy as she just stayed idol with a failed expression printed on her face.

The blade on the boomerang sliced Derpy's right ear off, blood was now running down the cunning grey Pegasi's face as she let out a devastating scream whilst roosting to the ground in pain. Apple Jack ran towards Derpy and cried for help as the public went to find the paramedic from earlier. With Derpy holding her ear and Apple Jack comforting her, Winona grinned at the failed little pony before continuing to sniff that ladybug on the ground. Derpy leered at the dog behind it's back.

The next day, Derpy was not willing to give up so she decided to attack Winona more openly. The lazy eyed one's plan was to place doggy treats leading into a secluded place, when they were alone, Derpy would jump out at Winona and bludgeon her to death with a nailed baseball bat. There was a bandage where Derpy's right ear used to be, she wiped the sweat from her forhead and began to hammer nails into the slugger. That was step one complete. Derpy went over to the apple farm, she started to shovel doggy treats from Winona's dog house and began to head far out into the orchard.

"Here's a treat for being such a nice doggy," Derpy said pouring the bag out to form a line of doggy treats, Winona then came out of her dog house and started to follow the trail foolishly.

Once the bag had finally emptied, they were far out into the apple orchards. Winona was finished up the rest of the treats, she was now fat and slow, this was a great advantage for Derpy and so she decided to use it. Out of nowhere, four grey legs hit the ground, it was Derpy holding a spiky baseball bat.

"We meet again mutt. Your problem is that you eat too much, it's bad for you," She said threatening the immobile dog with an evil grin on her face.

Derpy lifted the slugger into the air. Winona flinched, covering her face with her paw whilst letting out a doggly whimper. Just as Derpy was about to slam the bat down onto Winona's skull, a voice came out of nowhere.

"STOP!"

It was Apple Jack, she had followed the two into the orchards after curiously seeing Derpy pour doggy treats all over the place. She grabbed the bat from Derpy and then slammed her into a tree with good buck.

"So you're the one that's been tryin' to kill ma dog, that's pretty sick don't ya think?"

"I just dunno want went wrong," Derpy replied.

"Oh, ya know what's gone wrong all right. I'll let the guards deal with ya as I ain't the punishing type. They can put your rump behind bars until ya learn that what ya did was wrong," Apple Jack said whilst poking Derpy with the weapon.

As they were heading out of the orchards, Winona grinned at Derpy just to wind her up. The defeated grey Pegasi let out a growl along with the glare of death.

"That's right, keep laughing. I'll get my revenge one day!"