This is it...so make it count
I was told I could be many things. I always had those comments “you’ll grow up and really be somepony!” The truth is that I never wanted to be to be somepony. I wanted to be me and I was afraid that if I would change if everypony loved me. Did that bother me though? Of course it didn’t. Sure I never grew up to be big shot, but I grew up doing what I wanted.
No I didn’t grow up being a rebel, or not playing by “the rules.” I grew up being a kind pony. Other ponies would call me weird when I told them I wanted to be normal when I grow up. I was so curious as to why they would want to be so well known. Being well known seemed like a disease to me. Something you can’t escape once you’re in it. Something that once it catches you; you start to slowly get enveloped by it. It inches it way towards your heart until it’s blackened completely.
I realized later on in life that I didn’t want to be normal. Normal was something that everyone claimed to be, but never was. If everyone was normal then there would be so many things that the world would fail to see. Take me for instance. Was I normal? No. Did I always claim I was, or that I wanted to be normal? Of course. Normal is word that is so often used in the wrong ways.
No one’s normal. You hear that all the time, and you don’t realize it until you really think about it. You can never describe normal to yourself or anypony. No one loves the normal person. The normal person never expresses themselves. I always went out of my way to show everypony that I was different. Why did I try to impress all of them anyway?
I was finally dubbed as “weird” by everyone. And you know what? I loved it! They had finally told me that I stuck out among the crowd. The people that are marked weird are the ones that found their true selves and let everyone know it. Sure not many people ever paid attention to them, but that’s what made them, well, them.
I made my way through school with almost straight A’s. I would get the comments from teachers, “Kid, you could be a lawyer, a doctor, or even a therapist!” Those were the jobs of my dreams at the time. I was labeled as important, but without being paid attention to by everypony. I’m still confused as to why I find sweet bliss to these jobs.
I grew up to be a lawyer. Not in the way you would think though. I was always there for my friends disputes. No matter how small they seemed to me I always realized that they could be gigantic to them. That’s the issue that other ponies have. They think that just because it’s dumb to them then it should be dumb to everyone! Issues are all about perspective and what may seem childish to you could be huge to someone else.
I grew up to be a therapist. Not in the way that you would think though. I was there for anypony that needed me. Most of the time my friends, but other times I would be there for strangers. I would listen to what was on their mind. I would never interrupt, and only talk when I was prompted to. I always put my “patient” first and we would always come to a resolution.
I grew up to be a doctor. Yes an actual doctor. I loved being around other ponies and helping them in the best ways I could. All the ponies loved me. Even the fillies loved to come to the doctor, so they could see me. In way I was hero to them. The best part was that I could provide for my family and always be there for them. More on that later though.
You always hear the words, “don’t judge a book by its cover.” But you hardly ever really think to about how much that applies to. I met my wife in my junior year of high school. All the other colts were mean to her, and would brutalize her with words. One day I stood up for her and she thanked me deeply.
After talking with her for some time we started dating. No it wasn’t love at first sight, but now I look back and think how easy it could have been. She was adorable and bubbly. She always acted herself so when we were dating we that, “weird couple.” We look at each other and giggle every time we heard the words muttered in our direction. We knew that if we were called something else then that meant we weren’t being us.
I can remember our first kiss too. Some ponies may act like it’s no big deal to kiss someone, but that isn’t true. A kiss is the first bond you have with a significant other. That one kiss should mean the world to you. A kiss should always be a sacred thing to ponies. The one thing that stands pure above all else; never being tainted by the filthy things of the world.
Our kiss was sweet. We had been dating for a couple of months. I took her to her most favorite restaurant. I asked the band to play her favorite song, and we danced together. Afterwards I took her right beside the lake. We just sat there next to each other. Not needing to speak because we just wanted to be with each other. I looked her in the eyes and said the words, “I love you.” Then I kissed her. It was the right moment where I wouldn’t force her to do it, and she wanted it too.
That’s right, I told her I loved right before our first kiss. Sometimes you just know when to say it, and others you just feel like you should. Never say those words to a mare when you feel like you have to. Don’t let anypony tell you that you’re too young either. Everypony knows when they are in love even if others say they aren’t.
After being with the mare or stallion of your dreams for a long time you know when to pop “the question.” I was so nervous when I asked her that the ring slipped out of my hooves and into her spaghetti. My face turned so red that I felt I could heat the restaurant for months! She giggled when she saw the ring, and I got discouraged. Then she motioned for me and said, “Go on. Ask.” She looked the happiest she had ever been. And sure enough I asked her. Of course she said yes and she let all of her tears go.
Now everypony says that marriage is the worst part of a stallion’s life, because it’s labeled as “game over.” I never felt that way. I was so excited to get married. I thought the idea of being with the person I loved for the rest of my life was great. We had a small wedding. I invited my family and one or two friends as did she. I can remember the look on her face when she said the words, “I do.” Forget what I said earlier, this was the happiest she had ever been. I could imagine my face when I replied with the same words. I was the happiest I had been in my life too. I even cried as I kissed her.
Another important part of life is having your own foal. Bringing something into the world that was yours is something you never forget. I loved surprises too, so a foal was pretty much the biggest surprise you could get. I was always curious to know if I would a colt or a filly. I decided that it didn’t matter though, so I never wanted to hear it. I figured that no matter what gender it was then I would still love it. The day she was born was one of the most emotional days of my life. I knew that she would be the best filly in the whole world.
It turns out I was right. She was the best filly any parent could have asked for. She was great at school and even joined a cross country team when she was in high school. She was never the best, but nevertheless she didn’t get discouraged.
I was so happy to see her grow up. The day she left to go out into the world though I was weeping. I loved the feeling that I was sending something into the world that would make a difference, but I hated the feeling of “what if I didn’t do enough.” My wife would always reassure me that we never did anything wrong. I had her to thank for everything that made my life perfect.
There always comes the low point in a pony’s life. It could be the day you get fired, or even the day you die. I always thought of those as trivial things. The saddest I had ever been was when my wife had died. She had been sick for a while. Most of the time she was in bed, but I didn’t care. I would always visit her and tell her about my day. She loved to hear the stories from work, or the jokes I shared with our daughter. One day though she was feeling especially ill. Since I was a doctor I knew that her time was coming.
I walked into her room. I opened up my mouth to talk, but there were no words that came out. Tears started streaking down my face. I turned away. I couldn’t let her see me like this. I had to be strong for her. I quickly wiped my tears and turned towards her. When I opened my mouth again she stopped me. She looked at me in the eyes and said, “I know my time is coming. It’s okay though. Just stay here with me.” I looked at her and nodded. I pulled up a chair beside her bed and sat.
All day I told her jokes to make her happy. I made all of her meals special in some way. I made everything so perfect that day. I told all of the stories she hadn’t heard about our daughter. I did everything I could to make her happy. We sat there together for hours, and still it wasn’t enough. I didn’t speak when I noticed she started staring into space. She closed her eyes slowly and she stopped breathing. She still had the smile on her face from our day together.
I cried and cried for hours that night. I cried for weeks after it to. I told myself that she was in a better place now and that’s all that matters. There was a certain beauty to death that was hard to explain. No matter who that pony was, if you were close to them, then they would always have the best memories left. I never forgot about her and I never remarried. I lived every day remembering her, but not mourning her. She was the best thing I had, and I never forgot that.
Things always get better though. I saw my daughter get married to the stallion she loved and she had two beautiful foals, one filly and one colt. They were sweet as can be and I loved to see them. I happily retired out into the country. Every old pony does it, but I could never explain why. The country was nice and quiet. You could go outside and hear all the insects making noises. You could animals breaking leaves and tree branches in the forest. It was peaceful.
Now comes the moment when you know it’s your time. You don’t have to be a doctor to know it either. You can feel death’s cold breath on your neck. I wasn’t about to start getting depressed about it though. I started living again. I would hang out with my grandkids more and talk to my daughter. I didn’t tell anypony that I knew what my body was doing. I didn’t want anyone to worry. I wanted my death to be nice and quiet.
It was sad to know that once you were dying is when you started living again. I lived to the fullest that I possibly could at the time, and I regretted none of it. I loved every moment my life had to offer. Now though I lay in bed. With my daughter sitting next to me. I lean on my pillow and look into space. I see her again, my wife. She is standing in front of me smiling. I would love to see her again, but at the same time I know the consequences.
I start to fight it at first. I don’t want to leave just yet. I want to stay so I can be with my daughter more. I start to think I didn’t do enough! My wife looks at me and whispers, “It’s okay. There is no need to fight. You have done all you can…” he voice trailed off. I open my eyes one last time and look at my daughter. I say my last words to bother her and my wife, “I love you.”
Then I shut my eyes. They will never open again, and I have come to peace with it. I lean back on my pillow and let death embrace me. I was never a special pony, but at least I wasn’t a normal one…
