Chapters Ponies And Packages: Twilight
When Twilight Sparkles number one assistant answered the door, he usually expected good things to be on the other side. Cheerful, pleasant things. Ponies who he hadn't seen in a long time who still remembered his name, a present with his name on it, Twilight Sparkle returned from a shopping trip, or, if he was exceptionally lucky, the fair Lady Rarity herself. Spike sighed at the thought, before quickly composing himself and returning to his duty, which in this case involved opening up the front door. The sight which met his eyes caused his heart to sink, for it was none of the things mentioned earlier.
"Delivery for Miss Sparkle," deadpanned the no-nonsense gryphon who up until now had been the caretaker of the box on the front porch.
"Gilda." Spike said, equally uninterested in seeing her of all creatures. Twilight had warned him about her on various occasions. "What are you doing here?"
"What does it look like I'm doing here? I'm delivering mail. It's what gryphons do."
Spike looked down at the package, which bore no name, no return address, no label of any kind. The only thing written on it at all was GOLDEN OAKS LIBRARY, PONYVILLE in bright red crayon. He scratched his head. "Huh. Twilight didn't tell me to be on the lookout for any packages. She's usually really good at that." He picked up the package with such force, expecting that it would be heavy, and went tumbling backwards into the library. "It hardly weighs anything!"
"Yeah, made it easy to carry, though." Gilda shrugged. "Can I come in? I just flew in from the Gryphon Kingdom, and boy are my wings tired."
Spike blinked. "That's the worst joke I've ever heard."
"It's not a joke, you little punk. Do you KNOW how far away the Gryphon Kingdom is? It's at least thirty... no... a hundred... no... it's really freaking far!" Gilda snapped, and pushed past Spike into the library.
"Gilda! Do not abuse my assistant!" Came an annoyed voice from the second floor balcony, and Gilda craned her head up to see who berated her, although she already had an idea.
Twilight Sparkle had been disrupted from her reading, which was strike one. She had seen Spike get pushed around, which was strike two. And she really didn't care for Gilda, although that wasn't a logical reason for another strike. She forced a smile onto her face, and began to descend the stairs.
"What can I help you with?"
Gilda snorted. "I just need you to sign this, and I can give you your package."
Twilight looked alarmed. "I didn't order anything. Or did I? Spike, did I order anything? Did we forget somepony's birthday?!"
"I doubt it. Pinkie would have told us," he pointed out.
"Then I must have forgotten something... quickly, check my calendar!"
Spike ran off to do just that, and Twilight picked up her quill to sign for the parcel.
"Thanks." Gilda stretched her wings. "I gotta back, I'm on this rotten thing called a schedule, and they expect me to be done on time..." She groaned. "Of course, I could always just not do it and say I did."
Twilight looked horrified. "Don't you dare! Neglecting a schedule is one of the worst things a pony could do! It's right up there with not having a color coded to-do list!"
Rolling her eyes, Gilda huffed. "I'll manage," she said, and took off out the door. Twilight closed it, and Spike came down with an armful of parchments. "We didn't forget anything. We're not just on schedule, we're ahead of it. Since Rarity cancelled yesterday, we used the extra time to get more things done."
Twilight frowned. "Well, then let's just see what's in this box, shall we?" Her horn glowed as she prepared to open the box, then just as quickly, sputtered and went out.
"Is that supposed to happen?" Spike asked.
"...No. It's not."
Twilight tried again, and again her horn went out. "It's some sort of... anti-magic charm."
"What's that mean?"
"It means magic can't be used to open the box. It's used all the time for especially fragile or magically sensitive packages, for safety reasons." Twilight grasped the box in her front legs and shook it carefully. There was absolutely no sound from within, no weight of any kind within the box. But that didn't mean it was empty, there were many instances where an item would be magically tethered to the center of the box, and by the outside it would appear to be completely empty until opened. She paused momentarily. "Give me one of your scales, Spike."
"What? Why?"
"Because I need something sharp. You're a baby dragon, you're growing new ones all the time anyway," she said gently. Spike agreed, and handed over a scale that had been loose for quite some time. Twilight carefully struck the edge of the purple scale down the side of the box... and the scale broke in half.
"I thought you said dragon scales were supposed to be one of the strongest materials in Equestria," Spike said.
"They are. Well, adult dragons anyway. But still... there's something bad about this box, Spike. I'm going to ask Applejack for help. Maybe she can tell us what's going on with it. Can you guard the library?"
Spike saluted. Twilight smiled.
"I knew I could count on you, Spike." Balancing the box on her back, Spike tied it in place with a couple of straps. And Twilight raced off for Sweet Apple Acres, her mysterious box in tow. Spike waved as she left. "Don't worry, Twilight! Everything is going to be just fine!"
Ponies and Packages: Rainbow Dash
Poor Spike was confused. And it wasn't just regular confusion, this was... advanced confusion.
"So you're saying that just because it feels like an empty box, and looks like an empty box, and we can't hear or feel or smell anything inside it, it might not be empty? How do we know anything's even in there?"
"We don't," Twilight said. "But somepony obviously took the time to charm the box so that whatever's inside would be protected. And that makes it important. I've never once let an important package go without study, and I'm not about to start now. It could be a new book!"
"Or it could be nothing. Or old cheese," Spike pointed out.
"Don't be silly. Who would send me old cheese?"
By this point, they had reached the farm, where Applejack and Rainbow Dash were involved in a hoof wrestling match. Applejack's country grit against Rainbow's physical peak form, the two were a well placed match.
Twilight approached slowly and quietly, allowing the two to attempt to finish their game.
"How long have they been at this?"
"Spike, hush."
"Three hours'n countin'!" Applejack said with a wave of her hoof. "Y'all wanna play?"
Rainbow Dash took advantage of the break in concentration and slammed Applejack's hoof down on the ground. "One zip!" She announced.
"That one don't count, Rainbow! We've got guests!"
"Bah, you're just a sore loser. What's up?"
Twilight quickly explained the predicament of the box.
"Well if anypony kin get it open, it's mah brother. MACINTOSH! GIT OUT HERE!" She hollered.
Twilight's color drained slightly. "We want to open the box, not pulverize it..."
"Oh don'tcha worry Twi. He won't harm yer... what's in it?"
"We don't know."
The hefty red stallion appeared on the scene, looking between the three of them. Applejack pointed to the box. "Can ya open this? Twi here is havin' some trouble."
Macintosh looked annoyed at having been called out from his chores to open a box, but shrugged in reply.
"Eeeyup."
"I knew he was gonna say that..." Spike muttered. Twilight cuffed him in the back of the head ever so gently.
"Now wait just a minute," Rainbow Dash said. "If anypony can get this box open, it's me. Can I try it?"
Nopony objected, and Macintosh stepped aside.
"Be careful," Twilight insisted.
Rainbow Dash gripped the box tightly and shot directly upward so quickly it took a few moments to realize she'd even left the ground. She flew upwards as fast and high as she dared, ignoring the stinging particles of frost that formed on her wings. She couldn't stay at this altitude for long, so folded her wings and dove sharply, straight towards the ground.
Down below, Twilight facehooved so hard Spike felt her entire body shake.
"Is she doing what ah think she's doing?"
"Yes," Twilight responded.
Feeling the waves of air rush around her, Rainbow fell straight for the ground, ripples of color flashing around her front legs.
"Just... a little... more..."
Reaching dangerously high speeds, the sonic blast of color burst behind her seconds before she swept parallel to the ground to avoid an ugly demise. It took a moment or two to return to the others, beaming with excitement and adrenaline.
"That was awesome!" She declared, setting the box down.
Twilight pounced on it. The box didn't appear to be changed in the slightest. Twilight looked astounded.
"I've never seen anything survive a sonic blast like that before..."
Rainbow Dash coughed loudly.
"Other than you."
Big Macintosh looked carefully over the box, turning it over, giving it a shake or two, but nothing was ever felt or heard. He gripped the sides of the box with his forelegs and attempted to tear it open,
Nothing.
He looked surprised. Nothing had ever refused to open before. Not even Granny's pickle jars. He struggled with the box a few more times, eventually becoming so annoyed with it that he set the box down on the ground.
"Nope," he said finally.
"Well, ain't that the darndest thing," Applejack said. "Ah suppose ah can give it a..."
"Nope!" came the gruff reply again, and with a massive kick from his powerful back legs, Macintosh sent the box flying over the nearest set of trees.
Twilight was horrified. "What did you do that for?!"
Applejack sighed. "He's just a bit too proud fer his own good, 'n all. Doesn't like the idea of somethin' he can't open. But that's still no reason tah treat a box like that!"
Macintosh huffed.
"Well come on, we gotta find it before someone else does! Or something happens to it!" Twilight raced off in the direction the box had flown, with Applejack and Spike right behind her.
"You guys go ahead!" Rainbow Dash called. "I'll meet you there!" When they were gone, she shrugged and flew back up towards her favorite cloud. "Yeah, right. Like I'm gonna run all over Equestria for a box. It's totally awesome nap time."
***
Three fillies sitting around the table of their clubhouse were busily engaged in a very important decision making process. They were attempting to get cutie marks in dress making, for which Rarity had eagerly supplied some basic materials.
"How about this?" Scootaloo asked, holding up a brownish oversized hat.
"Ew, no. Giant hats are Rarity's thing, and even she barely makes them work," Sweetie said.
"One of these?" Apple Bloom asked, holding up several sparkly bow ties.
"Bow ties are cool," Scootaloo said.
"Well I think we should-"
At that moment one of the windows shattered as a large box sailed through it, and all three of them jumped and screamed, scrambling backwards away from the broken glass.
"It's a box!"
"I can see that, dodo."
"Somepony must have lost it!"
"You know what this means, right?"
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS DELIVERY PONIES!"
Ponies and Packages: Crusaders
Gathered around the box which had so suddenly flown through the window, the trio of children were gathered around the center of the clubhouse.
"What is it?"
"It's a box, Scootaloo."
"I know that, but what's in it?"
"You open it, Sweetie Belle."
"Why me?"
"Because you have the box opener on your head."
"That's not what my horn is for!"
"It's not like you're using it for magic..."
"Apple Bloom!"
The three fillies were gathered around the strange sealed box, mystified and enchanted by its unknown properties. They had called a meeting to discuss what to do with it, and finding no markings regarding who it was supposed to be delivered to other than a label for the Library, had elected to open it.
"I really don't know if we should, though," Sweetie said. "I mean, it's not ours."
"So we'll open it, peek at what's inside, and close it up again. What if it's something we can use?"
"The only thing we can use is a new window," the unicorn replied. "And I'd really rather not get in trouble for this."
"Yeah, me either," Apple Bloom said, changing her mind.
"Alright, fine, I'll do it," Scootaloo said at last. "You girls are sissies." She proceeded to push, pull, slam, bounce, rip, tear, and yank at the box in all manner of directions.
"I think it's resisting," Sweetie Belle observed.
"You think?" Scootaloo asked.
"Can we catapult it?"
Apple Bloom sighed. "Nah, my big sister took the catpult away after I smashed a window. She said it was destructive."
"It isn't destructive!"
"It is when Apple Bloom uses it," Sweetie Belle said.
"Alright! So if Scootaloo can't open it, maybe we're just not meant to open it," she said.
"Having fun, children?" A voice asked.
"Who's that?" Scootaloo asked.
"I'm not sure," Apple Bloom said.
Their attention was directed towards the side of the room, where one of Sweetie Belle's drawings hung on the wall. A crudely drawn crayon figure emerged within the drawing, bowing to the three of them.
"I heard arguing, and it sounded quite engaging," the figure said.
"Discord!" Apple Bloom hissed. "Applejack says I'm not supposed to talk to you." The Crusaders hadn't much experience with him outside of accidentally releasing him from prison the first time, and since then, understandably, they'd been asked to distance themselves from the draconequus.
"I'm hurt," Discord said, stepping out of the drawing into the clubhouse. "And to think you'd say such things to me on my birthday." He swooned a bit. "Oh, what a pity it is to be me, when even children find your voice filled with lies and your presence filled with dishonor."
"Is it your birthday?" Sweetie asked.
"No, but to think you could have just makes it all the worse," Discord said. "I lied. But I don't lie all the time, only sometimes. For instance, the next sentence I'm about to say is completely and honestly true, I promise you that."
Scootaloo leaned in closer.
"The last sentence I said was false."
"...My head hurts," Sweetie said.
Discord just grinned. "Whatever are you three doing?"
"Trying to open a box."
"Oh. That's... fun," Discord said, picking it up and shaking it. "It's empty."
"You don't know that. Can you open it?" Scootaloo asked.
"Of course I can," Discord said, and flicked his wrist. Sparks flew out of his talons...and the box remained closed.
"I said, of course I can," Discord said again. Same motion, same result.
"That's odd," he said, examining the box.
"Well if he can't open it, nopony can..."
"Correction. Two ponies can. The one who cast the enchantment and the one for whom it is meant to be delivered. It's very strong magic, I'm afraid I can do nothing about it," he said, giving the box back to them.
"Awww..." Apple Bloom sighed.
"Take it back to Twilight, I'm sure she's looking for it," Discord said, putting on a large woolen coat.
"How do you know that?"
"Because it's addressed to the Library, and Twilight lives at the Library, thus, it must be for Twilight."
"What's with the coat?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Oh, this? I've invited the crew of the reality show 'So You Married A Changeling' to the Crystal Empire. I'm going to see if I can't have some fun. Ta!" He vanished as quickly as he had come, his laughter echoing behind.
"I really don't like him," Scootaloo said.
"Well, we're not gonnna have any luck with this," Sweetie Belle said. "But at least we have a lead. It can only be opened by one certain pony, and whoever sent it must have magic to have enchanted it. We can be detectives!"
"Didn't we try to be detectives already?"
"Yes, and Applejack said we lost our marbles, which didn't make any sense because I've never owned marbles."
"She's crazy."
"Hey, that's my crazy sister you're talking about! But come on, let's go see Twilight!" They had only been in possession of the box for an hour, but time seemed to move extraordinarily rapidly around them, and the three bounced from one task to the next faster than Rainbow Dash at a flying competition.
The three raced off, completely unaware of a pair of eyes watching them from the bushes.
Ponies and Packages: Spike
"Thank you so much for dropping this off," Twilight Sparkle was saying.
All three Crusaders had returned the mysterious package to the Library, and were sitting in perfect formation with wide, eager eyes.
"Do we get our mailpony cutie marks now?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"I think our resident mailpony would be out of a job if you three took it," Twilight explained. "And you wouldn't want to do that to her, would you?"
"But she always mixes up the-" Scootaloo began, before Apple Bloom bapped her on the head.
"Shh."
Twilight looked down at the package, whom known had been able to identify or open.
"Do you girls have any ideas about this box?" She asked.
"Discord said it can only be opened by the one who put the magic on it, or by the one it's intended for," Scootaloo said.
Twilight narrowed her eyes. "And what were you doing talking to Discord? I thought I made myself very clear on this."
"It's not our fault, he appeared in our clubhouse! We were just minding our business!" Apple Bloom chimed in.
"Well... alright. I'll have to have a talk with him then. But at least we know only somepony who lives here at the Library can open it," she said.
Spike rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Who said it had to be a pony who lives here?" He asked. "Maybe it's filled with all sorts of gems!"
"And candy!" Sweetie Belle said.
"Gems and candy and books!" Twilight added.
"Oh my," Spike continued. "But, no." He took the box that sat in the middle of all of them, and shook it carefully. As usual, there was no sign of anything being held inside. He did his best to open all the flaps, but not a single one of them gave way even an inch.
"It's no use," he said after a minute or two. "It's not gonna open for me, either."
"Well that's just ridiculous!" Twilight said. "There's nobody else who lives here! Only an owl, and it's not for him, either!"
"How do you know?" Spike asked.
"Well who would send an owl a gift?"
"Pinkie gives Gummy presents all the time," Scootaloo said.
"Pinkie is illogical," Twilight said. "But if it makes you feel any better, fine, we'll test it. Spike, go get the owl."
"Who?" Spike asked.
Twilight glared at him.
"Everybody's a critic..." he muttered, and went upstairs.
"Girls, don't you have school today?" Twilight asked, turning her attention on the Crusaders.
"Not today, they're repainting all the classrooms," Sweetie Belle said.
Spike returned with the owl on his wrist, who gazed thoughtfully at the box. The bird was placed upon it, and even pecked at it a bit, but nothing seemed to happen.
"See? I told you," Twilight said.
"What if it's not somepony who lives here at all?" Spike asked.
"But the box says-"
"What if it's somepony who USED to live here?"
Twilight's eyes brightened. "Spike, you're a genius!"
"I am?"
"Yes! Rarity says it's very easy to move and forget to change shipping addresses, especially if you've only stayed someplace for a short time." Her smile faded. "But the only one who's stayed here is... oh, no."
"Who is it?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Girls, I'm going to have ask you to head on back to your clubhouse," Twilight said. "Spike, you know who to call."
"Ghostbusters?" He asked.
"Spike!"
"Alright... but... you're sure? I mean... you're sure?"
"I'm sure," Twilight said.
"Who is it?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"I promise I'll tell you everything later, but right now I need you girls to go home. I'm sorry."
The Crusaders slowly filed out, looking dejected and rejected.
"Never get to stay around with the big ponies..." Scootaloo complained, and the door closed.
Spike returned, and appeared worried. "She's coming over right away," he said. "You sure we're doing the right thing?"
"Only one way to find out," Twilight said, gazing at the box which had defied all atttempts of opening it.
The doorbuzzer rang out front.
"There's sttill time to pretend we're not home," Spike said.
Twilight sighed and inhaled deeply. "What's the worst that could happen, Spike?"
"I can think of a number of things..."
Twilight answered the door, her confidence already shaken by the sight of the figure on the other side.
"Hello again," Twilight said, trying to force a smile.
"My, my," said Chrysalis. "It HAS been a while, hasn't it?"
Ponies and Packages: Chrysalis
Author's Note
I apologize in advance for this. I sort of backed myself into a corner with this story and wound up being rather desperate for some semi-logical explanation for all this.
Ponies and Packages: Chrysalis
Chrysalis had entered the living room, and all three individuals in the room stood in a very quiet circle, all sort of staring at each other in an uncomfortable silence.
"Chrysalis," Twilight said.
"Twilight," Chrysalis said.
"Spike!" Spike chimed in, and both mares looked at him. "Sorry, was just trying to lighten the mood. When exactly did Chrysalis live here again, anyway?"
"Well I wouldn't say LIVED here," Chrysalis said. "It was more of a temporary inconvenience. I came down with neighmonia and had to stay here for about four weeks. Don't you remember?"
"I remember," Spike said. "Twilight said you were the most demanding, ungrateful-"
"Who wants lemonade?!" Twilight chimed in, pushing Spike out of the room. "Spike, go get lemonade for our... guest." She gave him a dirty look, and returned to the front.
"Did you ever happen to change your address of residence while you were recuperating here?" Twilight asked.
"Only on a temporary basis, I had to let my army know how I was doing," Chrysalis responded. "It was a necessity in a time of war."
"But we weren't at war..." Twilight sounded confused.
"It's the War Against Wubs, you wouldn't understand it. In any case, I changed my address back to the uninhabited desert you launched me into. Thank you SO very much for that, by the way."
"Don't start that again, you had it coming."
"I had it coming?"
"You had it coming. You only had yourself to blame."
Chrysalis slowly circled. "You weren't there. You didn't see it. Or I bet you would have done the same."
Spike called from the other room.
"I sense someone is making vague passing references to musicals again..."
Twilight shushed him. "In any case, business calls. Would you PLEASE attempt to open the box so we can finally get this over with and see what's in there?"
Chrysalis blinked. "Is that what this is all about? A box?" She laughed, turning to look upon it. Her horn glowed, enveloping the parcel in a green glow. And as easily as anything, the first flap flew open.
"It's working!" Twilight exclaimed.
"Of course it's working, was there ever any doubt?"
An offended looking blue unicorn banged her hoof on the window. "Hey! That line belongs to Trixie!"
Twilight facehooved.
The second flap of the box swung open, and Chrysalis lifted it off the ground, shaking the box upside down. It took a few violent shakes, through which Twilight was biting her lip in anticipation, but eventually a square shaped bright pink fuzz smacked into the ground.
"What is it?" Twilight asked.
"It's disgustingly fluffy, whatever it is," Chrysalis said, and poked at it with her hoof. After two pokes, the fuzz burst out suddenly into a vaguely pony shaped figure, with such force that Chrysalis was knocked over on her flank.
Spike re-emerged with a pitcher of lemonade, pointing a claw at the sudden arrival of... whatever it was.
"Dude, that's creepy."
Wide staring eyes snapped open, and Twilight jumped backward several inches. The eyes blinked several times, and eventually locked on Chrysalis.
*SUPER EXCITED GASP*
With a rush, the fluffy pony launched herself at Chrysalis, who screamed in fright and confusion and made a run for the door.
"Get it away from me!" She demanded.
Twilight was just as confused as any of them, and without another word, as Chrysalis was chased down the street, slowly closed the door.
"What just happened?" She asked.
"I don't know," Spike said. "But doesn't anyone want a glass of lemonade?"
"I do!" A male voice said.
Discord materialized out of nowhere, and swiftly yanked the pitcher from the dragon, emptying the contents, lemons and all, into his mouth. He grinned, and maintained a look of pure innocence.
"What?" He asked. "Why is that every time something happens, everypony assumes I had something to do with it? I'm innocent, I tell you!" He pouted.
"And you didn't put that poor thing in a box, then? It was in there for days! Nothing about this makes sense!"
"My dear Twilight," Discord said. "The best KIND of sense is the kind that doesn't make any."
ELSEWHERE
"Is it safe yet?" Princess Celestia slowly poked her head out from beneath a pile of pillows that had been stacked in the official Canterlot pillow fight room.
"I think so," Luna said, emerging from the other side. "I think it's gone."
"Do you have any idea what that was?"
"Not a clue."
Celestia sighed, and emerged from her pillow fort. "Are you sure we did the right thing, sending it to Ponyville like that?"
"If anyone can find a home for it, it's Twilight Sparkle. But whyever did you encrypt it with Changeling sensors?"
"Because we ask so much of Twilight already," Celestia explained. "That creature clearly needed someone to love it, and I thought perhaps Chrysalis would be a good match for it."
Luna caught on. "And you have no idea where Chrysalis is hiding, except for when she visits Twilight. So you decided to draw her out... but why go to all this trouble? You could have left a note, or advance notice, or any number of things."
Celestia grinned. "I'm over a thousand years old, how else am I going to have any fun? I'm sure she'll figure it out."
Luna sighed. "I hope we don't regret this."
"Dear sister," Celestia said. "What's the worst that could happen?"
