Bureau Of Immigration

by Goof Theorist

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Human
Length: 6111

Earth has lost its protection against the magic-eaters, and its people can only retreat so far. Thankfully, someone has been watching out for them, and has found a new option in her counterpart, Celestia.

Earth has lost its protection against the magic-eaters, and its people can only retreat so far. Thankfully, someone has been watching out for them, and has found a new option in her counterpart, Celestia.

The human race is going to have to emmigrate, and a select few will be brought forward first to see firsthand how humans can adapt to live with and among a very different race.

And in the meantime, they have to learn to handle something that humanity hasn't had to wield for nearly twelve-thousand years: magic.

Note: Not a 'conversion' fic!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-11 15:00:03 UTC

Chapter One

Bureau Of Immigration

Chapter One

The sun had been set. Note: the sun hadn't set, but been set. The individual who'd done this had felt that she'd managed it with a particular flair, this time.

Celestia paced slowly through the halls of the palace (no longer just hers, but theirs, once again, in a way which was indescribably comforting) after the brunt of her magical duties, and after having finished as many mundane matters of bureaucracy as time allowed. The rest would be handled- her staff was amply qualified. She admired her little, hard-working ponies more than they could possibly believe. It was the downside of reverence, really, that they so often felt small in her presence.

Still, she made the sun rise, and felt, in her connection to it, the sheer optimism of her subjects at the onset of each new day. The ruler of Equestria treasured that sensation, and felt that it was one of those aspects of her life that most sustained her.

But even alicorns needed sleep. She'd gleefully indulge in sheets and warm comforters after reading the latest missives from her student. Twilight Sparkle's prose had improved considerably, and flowed much more naturally, ever since her move to Ponyville.

And the little bits of small-town gossip which sometimes slipped through were absolutely hilarious. Celestia wondered how the Cutie Mark Crusaders were getting on.

She smiled gently at the guards stationed outside her suite. They saluted, and she passed through the doors there and into the hall leading to the various rooms that were her home within her home. The den, richly upholstered and decorated by the artisans of ages past, was already lit by warmly-glowing magical lanterns.

It was there that she discovered that she would not, in fact, be enjoying a quiet evening in.

The creature sat hunched and casually (she assumed- its posture was alien) on one of her couches, with its legs crossed delicately and dangling above the floor. It was... like a small minotaur, or diamond dog, but... not. It appeared to be mostly hairless, but clothed, had a soft, round face, and black hair that hung straight around its neck. If pressed for an honest opinion, Celestia would have said 'monkey-like', which was an impression only heightened by its mischievous smile.

It lifted a small, nimble fore-claw and waved.

“Hello, Lady Celestia. May I intrude upon your time?” The mare found herself gaping, slightly. The creature's mouth quirked a bit, contritely. “I promise you that I come in peace, for all mankind. My only purpose for this visit is friendly, open, and honest dialogue.”

“You...” Celestia searched for words. The last intruder to make it this far into the heart of the palace had been an assassin, some years ago. Some decades previous, a maid had been looking for 'memorabilia'. In those occasions and others, none had been so strange, forthright, or downright chatty.

“You appear to have already intruded,” she observed, out-loud. She wasn't afraid, per se- very little indeed frightened her, anymore. The alicorn felt she could afford to banter a little. Mostly, her curiosity had been piqued. The creature rolled its shoulders in what Celestia took to be a shrug.

“You have my apologies, but I really wanted to keep this on the down-low, no? Knocking on the palace doors wouldn't have been nearly so subtle, even if it would have been a bit more fun.” The grin returned for a brief moment, before dimming solemnly.

“Godling to Godling, here, from one loving protector to another, I beg your help. The fate of my little humans depends upon it.” Then, the thing which professed to be a 'godling' slid off the couch and onto the floor, and kneeled. “Please hear me.”

What else was there to say?

“I'm listening.”

Luna, Princess of the moon, caretaker of dreams, alicorn and (in her opinion) all around classy mare, heeded her sister's call almost immediately after raising the moon. The guard who'd passed the message along had waited patiently for the wash of magic in the wake of her heavenly duties to fade before interrupting.

She might have been going at a bit of a faster trot than was completely expected of a royal personage, but then she was still jumping at every chance to help her sister since her own return to sanity and the banishment of the Nightmare. Whether it was emergencies or simple royal duties (she'd strangle the pony who'd fudged up her neat tax codicils in the last few centuries, but that red tape-wrapped mummy had died quite some time ago), she was still more eager than she could help.

With a quick acknowledgement of her sister's guards, she hurried into her sister's main room.

“Tia? You said there was an emergency!” she called, glancing around. The flash of a bright horn caught her eye as Celestia turned at her voice.

“Yes, Luna. We have a strange guest. Do say hello to... well, she's not given her name yet. Am I assuming too much by labeling you a 'she', miss alien Godling?” Then Luna caught sight of the strange, grinning creature.

“Celestia?” she prompted with concern in her voice.

“I am presently female, yes. My name is Alicia Rodriguez, but you may call me Shaman,” said the creature. It looked down at the piece of china in its... claws? and breathed some of the wafting vapor with obvious appreciation. “You brew a fine cup, Lady Celestia.”

“I've had practice, Lady Shaman,” replied the brightly-colored alicorn with bemusement. She returned her attention to Luna. “We were just waiting on you, dear sister. This... being appeared in my quarters a short while ago and is apparently requesting our help with something. I asked her to wait until you could arrive.” The creature nodded toward the dark alicorn, sending its thin mane wavering.

“It saves time,” the creature agreed. “Which, while not especially short, yet, is still limited for me.”

Luna cautiously circled the sofa that was half-occupied by her sister and set to face the intruder's own seat. She found Celestia proffering a cup of tea under her nose. Luna took it with some confusion, but Celestia just smiled.

“To keep things cordial. And you look thirsty,” said the Princess of the sun.

“Thank you, sister,” said Luna, but brought her attention back to the creature. Shaman.

“You may assume I know of both of you, if only by reputation, so I'll introduce myself quickly. To make sure you know where we're all standing,” she said, after taking a delicate sip.

“A long time ago, you two made a pact to pacify this world's wild magics in protection of your people. In return for power and immortality, you've become responsible for the livelihood of millions, both within and without the borders of the country of Equestria, yes?” Luna nearly choked on her drink.

“That's... how could you know that?!” She regretted her loss of composure, but Celestia at least remained still-faced. Shaman shrugged.

“Because I did the same thing for my own people. Sort of. A bunch of silly little apes who became too curious for their own good, but were even so far too naive to protect themselves from... well, from a great deal, actually.

“Our universe, or plain of existence, or what-have-you, was in quite a bit more peril than yours from the very beginning. You see, by some compasses, it's a great deal further downward than your own world.”

“You speak of Tartarus,” said Luna in a clipped voice. She could feel Celestia gathering power beside her, unseen. Shaman shook her head.

“Oh, no- Tartarus is still very much part of your own reality. Earth -that's what we call my world- is just adjacent to some very nasty places. Its early magical field was very enticing to those that dwelt outside our borders.” Shaman's eyes clenched tightly closed, then, and she seemed to retreat in on herself, slightly. The reaction seemed to have startled Celestia as well as Luna herself from their state of battle-readiness.

“I was the most capable magic-user of the time. I saw these things, and after discovering how they fed... and what they did with my fellow, silly little primates after the creatures had sated themselves on our magic...” Her eyes, such small, narrow things, flashed open and blazed with a smooth light. Tears, whose source was hidden by the lambent glow, dripped down her hairless cheeks.

“I had to starve them out to save humanity. I removed their food, and took it all into myself. That was my pact, you see- in exchange for an entire world's magic, I had to take an entire world's magic.” Celestia's cup dropped to the carpet (from what Luna could see out of the corner of her eye- it was hard to look away at that moment) and she gasped.

“Shaman? When you say you... took it...?” The mare (or whatever ape females were referred to as) gave a bitter grin.

“I stripped it all away. The wizards and witches of the time just... faded. Our world's magical species disappeared. Earth grew cold and bereft of comfort, and it stayed that way forever. You two,” she rubbed angrily at her cheeks and scattered the moisture, “you've done so good here. I've walked unseen here, on and off for the last year, and seen that you've provided for your people more than I was ever able to. To expend enough magic to help would have... would have brought harm down upon my charges from without, see?

“I might as well have been candy-coating them and whistling for nearby manticores. I could do nothing when they needed my help the most." Her gaze grew distant with recollection. "The valley between the Tigris and Euphrates, the island of Pompeii, the... the.... I let Atlantis die! Less than one subtle attempt in ten ever worked, even wearing the guise of over a dozen gods throughout the ages!”

She's raised her voice now, though Luna noted just how little aggression there was in it. There were so few others she'd met who bore the same weight of years as herself and her sister, but that sensation was something she'd always recognized in others. This one was old, and had been old for a very long time.

So it wasn't the near-iconic mother hen, her sister, who moved first. Luna suddenly found herself kneeling in front of the creature, her foreleg on Shaman's shoulder. The creature abandoned its drinkware and clumsily held herself to Luna's dark-furred chest.

“I assume something has changed, since then,” stated the alicorn, quietly.

“They came back,” was the muffled reply. “The things from beyond came back.”

“Um... Twilight?”

The unicorn glanced up from the magnifying glass arranged just above a particular weathered tome. Spike, a dragon, assistant, and all-around good friend, had just descended the steps of the library that led up to their shared quarters. In one claw he grasped a scroll with a very familiar, very distinctive seal on it.

“Message from the Princess?” she guessed. He nodded and gave it a light, underhanded toss. She caught it in a levitation field and brought it forward. When it got closer, she grimaced.

“Spike, is this... toothpaste?” The dragon crossed his forelimbs and huffed.

“I was cleaning myself up! The Princess, er, bless her, has terrible timing.” Twilight really couldn't bring herself to argue over the soggy scroll. Instead, she hovered it close (but not too close, and away from her tomes and documents) and unrolled it with a twitch of her magic.

My Dearest Student,

A situation has come up. An opportunity, really- we will soon be hosting guests from far outside of the kingdom. I request the appearance of you and the other Elements of Harmony (and your assistant too, should he choose to come) for a very important task.

These guests' peoples are in dire straights, and will require guides and teachers in an endeavor which will save a great many lives. They will be, to borrow a rather foreign phrase, strangers in a strange land. It is my hope that the influences of you and your friends will ease their coming troubles.

Please, should you feel yourselves capable, bring yourselves to Canterlot in two days' time.

In faith and trust,

Princess Celestia

Twilight chewed at her lip thoughtfully. She glanced aside at Spike, who was watching curiously.

“Start packing,” she said. “We're all going on a trip.” He nodded, hesitantly, but hurried away. This was, after all, far from the first time. At least the Princess had given a specific schedule, which was a good sign that the world wouldn't be ending in the next five minutes.

I'll have to start writing up some lists, she thought, and cheerfully went to work. Her Princess needed her.

Felicia Dilinger wasn't entirely certain how she came to be in the crowded little cafe. The price of coffee was, quite frankly, astronomical, and her stipend as an engineer was just big enough to provide food and clothing for her and her little brother. She was certain, in fact, that she'd just now been heading home to hydrate the rations that had been their lot in life for the past ten years, and which she'd be charitably referring to as 'dinner' for QT's sake.

But now she was seated in front of three cheerful, comfortably-dressed women who were pressing a cup of honest-to-god cocoa toward her.

“Drink up, Felicia! We've got a lot to go over, and sugar paves the way for many a heavy subject,” assured the Latina one. The other two, one white and one dark, seemed to be eyeing their surroundings with wonderment.

“I'm sorry... who are you?” was the only question Felicia could manage. The first woman grinned.

“I'm Alicia. These two wonderful ladies are Tia and Luna, and with their gracious cooperation, I'm here to offer you the deal of a lifetime!” She paused, frowning. “The only deal of a lifetime, really.” The dark-skinned one, Luna, brought her attention back to the table and nudged her.

“Positive thinking, please. I do believe we've discussed this.” Alicia seemed to perk up from her funk, and Felicia was getting a distinctive bi-polar vibe from the exchange. Then she processed the woman's exact wording.

“The only deal of a...” her eyes widened. Organized crime was rampant in the Safe Zone. The remains of the United Nations could only do so much to police the ghettos of Western Europe, and humanity's death-throes seemed damn-near cannibalistic, at times.

“I don't have anything. I really, really don't. I already pay protection to East Street, I don't have anything left!” 'Tia' sighed.

“That... is not the intent behind our words, dear, I assure you.” She turned to Alicia. “May I try and explain?” Then Luna stepped in.

“I'd rather attempt it, if it's all the same-” Tia and Alicia both nodded, seeming curious. “I think I see where this is going. There's likely no way to effectively get across our sincerity and not come across as madmares-”

Huh? thought Felicia, intelligently.

“-so let's just go about this a different way.” The woman's dark eyes fixed on Felicia. Despite her still-undampened fear, the young engineer found it impossible to look away. “Tell me, Miss Dilinger: If there existed a way in which you might possibly guarantee the survival of your race which involved both you and your brother exploring parts completely alien to you, and the both of you yourselves dedicating a long time afterward teaching what you learn there to your fellow Earthians, would you do it?”

Felicia wanted to say 'what do you mean?' or 'what the hell?' or even 'did you just say Earthian?', but something stayed her tongue. It was a yes or no question, and she felt utterly incapable of saying anything but either of those two things.

“Saying 'no' carries no penalties, Miss, and I believe you'll be among friends the entire time,” said Alicia. That same sense of absolute sureness permeated her words as it did Luna's.

Strictly speaking, Felicia didn't have friends. She had no time for them, really. The scenario she'd been presented with, too, seemed absolutely insane. Her more rational thoughts fought against the complete certainty that these women weren't, somehow, lying to her. But she did believe it, and because she did, she could only answer, “Yes.”

Ichiro Sato finished sweeping among the plastic, scavenged 'pews' of his chapel. It was a humble space, and he had to more or less camp behind the podium each night with living space restrictions as they were, but he was determined to keep it clean. God's children tracked a lot of dust in the course of their burdened lives- it was a sign of their struggles and continued perseverance.

I'm getting poetic in my own age, he thought wryly. With absent effort, he put the thought through a quick few translations. His native Japanese, first, then German (since that would be the language of his next scheduled service), then Spanish. Then he'd rearrange the words for those nice Wiccans who came in on Thursday nights. Faith came in all forms, after all. He'd have to track down a menorah in the coming months...

The sound of the door opening dragged him from his thoughts. Three women stepped through. One, blond, stumbled a bit and glared down at her high heels like they were some sort of new, fascinating enemy. The darker-skinned one, with quite similar facial features, snickered.

“Er, good evening, my children. How may the house of God serve you on this fine evening?” The last, shortest woman stepped forward.

“We don't need the service of a house, my child,” she said, echoing his words in the strangest way, “but we do need your help, young Ichiro.”

Ichiro laughed.

“Hardly that young any more, miss. And you know me, then? Have you been to a service, perhaps?”

“Every single one,” she grinned. “Ichiro Sato, a reverend of the New Church of Faith, United. Reverends and priests, bodhisattvas and... shamans. Rabbis, too. Tell me, what is another word for 'rabbi'?”

“Teacher,” he answered automatically. She nodded.

“Have you ever taught? Have you ever learned?” He reached up and stroked his stubbled chin. He would have to shave, later, but razors were just so expensive, these days...

“Some and some,” he answered as honestly as possible. Wordplay was one of the last few free indulgences, and it always made for good fun.

“Feel up to learning a bit more?” she asked. The blond woman stepped forward with new certainty and began to talk.

He listened.

“I've got this one, I think,” said Alicia to the women following along behind her on the sidewalk.

“Go on,” said Luna, perhaps having picked up a little bit of the mischief that Alicia hadn't been entirely able to keep from leaking into her tone. The Shaman grinned, and looked up. There, with his legs dangling off of a low balcony, was David Calendar. He was a transit worker, picking at a beaten acoustic guitar with fingers still grease-stained from a fourteen-hour workday. He gave free lessons to the neighbor children on his one half-day off each week.

Just last year, he'd lost his last living relative, an uncle, when the 'Safe Zone' had finally retreated from England's shores. Alicia knew old Ian's life story as much as she did everybody's, and missed him.

“Hey, David!” she called. The man halted his playing and leaned out over the street.

“Evening, miss. Can I help you?”

“How'd you like to go to a magical world with talking ponies and save the human race?” He grinned, and looked to be trying to tell if Alicia's pupils were a bit too dilated. She heard one of the sisters facepalm behind her. Apparently the gesture was universal among sapient species.

“Sounds great, love. Sign me up! Would you like to have a glass of water and a lie-down?” Alicia smiled and shook her head.

“No thanks, David! I've still got at least one more person to find for this trip!” He saluted her, and went back to his guitar.

As she walked off, the two disguised alicorns caught up to her.

“Can that possibly even count?” asked Celestia, worriedly.

“Perhaps you should have that 'lie-down', Shaman,” suggested Luna. But she was smiling.

&&&&&

“You seem to be going after the creative types, unless I'm mistaken,” said Celestia as they skirted the massive, hydroponic food factories. Farms just couldn't provide enough, the humans had learned, for so many people in such a small plot of land. Alicia missed the orchards, and thought guiltily of her leisurely (intangible) stroll through the Apple family's plot. Many, like Felicia's young 'QT', likely hadn't ever seen a single tree in their short lives. Most were in the private sanctuaries of the remaining elite of Earth. Those who had settled in the 'safety' of the Safe Zone's central district.

“Their are other criteria,” insisted Alicia, but admitted, “but I've always favored them, yes. The storytellers were the only ones who remembered me, and did so the longest.” She hesitated for a moment, but went on to say, “Also, I, uh, sort of want the best of us to go through first. Humans have a bit of a 'pack' mentality, if not a 'herd' one. If they enter into a situation with good examples already present, then they'll tend to follow along. There's the reason I asked you to provide teachers for my clever little children.”

“Which will be provided. I know some who will just jump at the chance,” assured Celestia. Felicia, who wrote stunning science fiction which would never be published in humanity's dying age; Sato, who welcomed as many into his tiny chapel as would fit and who aided the grieving with words of Heaven; David, trying to pass on the songs of artists long dead; Celestia hadn't been oblivious to the Shaman's wandering pattern through the last crowded pocket of the human world.

Words just hadn't done it justice. The thought of her own ponies living in such conditions shook her to the core. Kindness and cruelty everywhere in equal measure, strength and desperation occupying the same thought-space of every mind.

The armed forces that hadn't been lost fighting against an untouchable enemy had shepherded in the last of a terrified population. More had been lost scouring the remaining places for anyone they might have missed. Her own captain of the guard would have wept in sympathy.

She looked aside to the self-proclaimed 'godling' (it had been an obvious self-deprecation on the Shaman's part). Alicia, as she'd named herself, had given ground time and time again against the things from beyond. It had been made obvious, by the barely-visible field's geometric shape, that the plot designated today as the Safe Zone would be the humans' final foothold. That obvious sign alone had allowed many more to be saved, and turned a lot of panic into a grim, but organized, retreat.

But even that had taken its toll on the 'woman' (Celestia had been picking up on the human-centric designations). She had purposely placed a lot of deciding power in the hooves of the alicorn sisters. Celestia wasn't certain if she was more pleased or saddened to find that the Shaman was cognizant of her own flighty nature.

The sun Princess and human both stopped when they realized Luna had ceased following them. They turned and found the Princess of the night and moon stepping out from the alley between two hydro-plants. She was carrying... something. A bundle of cloth wrapped around... someone, actually, Celestia saw. A very small someone.

The moon Princess glanced up, intently, at the other two females. She hoisted the child up, higher on her hip.

“This is the last one. I pick her.” Celestia glanced aside at the local, ahem, authority, but she didn't seem in a mood to argue.

“Yes, of course. I mean,” Alicia stepped forward, and bent slightly at the waist to gaze more closely into the dark, peering eyes under the cloth bundle.

“Susan Marcus. Nine years old, quite bright. You,” she said, “once did a very pretty painting of a raven on a bridge.”

There was a tiny, girlish gasp from the bundle.

“You know?” Alicia grinned.

“I know everybody, Miss Marcus. I'm very magical. Would you like to learn some magic?”

Five humans found themselves standing, suddenly, in a broad marble room. One woman was still carrying a spoon still dripping with rehydrated mashed potatoes. It dangled over what might be assumed to have been a cooking stove, some seconds beforehand. She glanced around frantically until she spotted a tow-headed child carrying a small, metal puzzle ring. Without a second thought, she dropped the spoon and threw her arms around him.

“Licia, stoppit!”

“No,” she growled into his hair.

A taller, older man blinked in confusion. He slowly lowered a wet razor from his half-shaved face and glanced around.

“Pardon me, but, where am I?” he asked. Then he reassessed the shared expressions of confusion amongst the other members of the group and rephrased, “Where are we, I mean?”

“A magical world of ponies?” suggested the other man present. He carried a guitar, but was wearing worn pajamas.

“What makes you say that?” asked the half-shaved fellow.

“That's what the lady from earlier said,” shrugged the younger fellow. “Just extrapolating, brother.”

“You met them too?” asked the woman through the young boy's hair. “The three of them, I mean.”

“Yeah,” answered the guitarist. “I thought the one was on something, you know?” His face took on a thoughtful cast. “Maybe I'm on something. I'm not quite sure why I'd be hallucinating you guys, though. You're no Beatles, is all I mean.”

“I can sing a mean 'Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds',” admitted Ichiro, “but you're not wrong.”

Two massive doors opened at the end of the chamber. The group's attention was captured by the approach of three familiar women. Beyond them, half-seen were... small, armored horses? But the doors closed again too fast to get a real glimpse.

Celestia took a slow, deliberate breath. This was a big moment, and its ramifications would carry on with more impact than any event since her sister's fall to darkness, once upon a time.

The whole world had been shaken to its very core, then. The same would happen now, but perhaps they wouldn't need to wait a thousand years for a resolution, this time.

“People of Earth,” she said, with arms out wide and welcoming. “Welcome to Equestria.” The holy man looked aside at the musician.

“I thought you said talking ponies.” The musician shrugged.

“Talking aliens. Same difference, I guess.” Beside her, Luna giggled. That prompted the same thing from her smiling burden. Susan hopped down, but kept her hand in Luna's. Alicia stepped next to Celestia.

“Right on both accounts, actually. Ladies?” she prompted, and Celestia and Luna dropped their spells.

The gathered humans stared. Susan looked up at Celestia's sister in astonishment. The lunar Princess winked.

“I did tell you, little one.” The child's eyes were wide.

“You're so pretty!” She cocked her head. “Can I draw you?”

“Later, I promise.”

“You turned into a pegasus,” noted the guitarist. “Are you one of the talking ponies, then? Because I think you might have overdone it, a bit.”

“Unicorn,” corrected the holy man. “She's got a horn.”

“Alicorn,” corrected Luna. “A little bit of column 'A', and a little bit of column 'b'.”

“Shall we sit?” prompted Celestia, nodding her head over toward a large table set. Without waiting for an answer, she began walking over. Alicia, Luna, and Susan followed along.

After a second, she peered back. Only two of the figures had made any sort of tentative progress forward, but Felicia and her brother hadn't moved. Or rather, Felicia hadn't moved them from their original spot.

“Miss Dilinger, what I said still applies: you are among friends. In this place, there are no monsters beyond mankind's doors. The Safe Zone, so to speak, is everywhere.”

“No sugar shortages, here,” called the Shaman. “They've got tea and cookies!” The younger brother at least, 'QT', made an abortive move forward.

“What did I tell you about strangers and candy, kiddo?!” The boy shrugged.

“They don't got guns or knives, sis! I've never seen a gang made out of ponies,” he added critically. Felicia took this in and then glanced over at the table. Luna wiggled a cookie, before putting it in Susan's grasping fingers. The dark mare had somehow managed this with hooves.

“Ugh. Fine. But if they eat us, I'm blaming you. You'll be so grounded.” Celestia held back her smile, this time. The other five had no such compunctions, however.

“We might be killed, or worse: expelled!” shouted Alicia dramatically. Ichiro smiled.

“And here I thought I was the only one to remember that old classic,” he chortled. Alicia grinned.

“I was first in line when they came out! And it's sort of fitting, given the circumstances.”

“When what came out? Lady, you're no older than I am,” declared David. One dark eyebrow was quirked incredulously.

“Aren't you going to, er, transform yourself too?” asked Ichiro. “While we're all playing along that this all isn't the young man's hallucination, I mean.”

“Oh, I'm very human, thank you very much. Except for that one time I was a dog,” remarked Alicia with a shudder. “Shortest. Attention. Span. Ever. Never again.” Celestia made a note to ask about that story at some point. The Shaman must have had more experience with transformation than herself, at some point.

“Moving past that,” announced Alicia. “Let's make introductions. These are Princesses Celestia and Luna,” the two alicorns nodded in turn, “the rulers of Equestria. Which is where we are now, by the way. And I am Alicia Rodriguez. I have been the protector of Earth and mankind for about twelve thousand years, now. But if you've noticed... has anyone here seen the wall upon the Atlantic?” Only Ichiro made a motion to the positive, looking very perturbed.

“As you can see, that's just not enough anymore. I've held the Safe Zone for as long as I can, but it will be gone within twenty years. After that, nowhere will be secured against the eaters of life beyond it.”

There was a second of silence. Two seconds. Then:

“What?!”

“So that's it? We're all dead?”

“What do you mean 'thousands of years'? You're crazy!”

“The monsters are really coming?” Celestia almost moved to intervene, but Alicia spoke up then. Well, first she made her eyes glow, and then she spoke.

“I have been around for a very long time, children. I've traced your stumbling steps across the surface of a hostile planet, and watched you thrive. Now, I must ask you to move, and to adapt, and to thrive once more. I can no longer keep the darkness at bay- you're going to have to emigrate. And you few will be, are, in fact, the first to take that first step.

“Those things, whatever they are, which is a thing beyond even my knowledge, are eaters of magic and life. I once took all the magic of Earth into myself to starve them out, but it seems they've become desperate enough to seek out even magicless living beings. You're in a new world. A neighboring world, which has gracefully allowed us safe passage.” She leaned closer, imploringly. “You will not die. Not like that. I will not allow it. Not allow any more of it.”

“You bought us time,” said Ichiro, looking at the woman with a strange (and less literal) light in his eyes. “A great deal of time, it seems.”

“As much as I could.” Felicia, still comforting an uncertain-looking QT, spoke next.

“So... what is it we have to do here? Get green cards? Learn to speak horse-ese? Are there schools here?” She glanced down at her brother. “I mean, real ones?” Her voice was tinged with a weird mix of caution and optimism. An improvement, thought Celestia, from her imagined brush with mortality.

“The language,” announced the Princess, “has already been taken care of by the transition between your world and this. Travel between worlds is as much a matter of perception as distance. The written word will be harder, I'll admit, but our alphabet shouldn't prove much more difficult than your own. And I imagine the 'Anglish' script will someday be as familiar to us here as it is to you, now,” she said, smiling lightly. Though she might have mangled the word a bit. Alicia had treated both of the sisters to a small library of new books. Expensive, given the lack of paper available on Earth, but well worth it. And what was money to her, really?

Computers, too, would be an interesting development. Her own student would likely go comatose at the concept!

“I have several subjects who are very dear to me, accomplished young mares, and they will be showing you this world. We do, in fact, provide quality education to all young... peoples,” she finished, using the same phraseology as she did when discussing schools along the border with mixed pony/griffin populations, for instance.

“Shaman,” hissed Luna. The woman in question jerked around.

“Er, yes?” The mare rolled her eyes.

“The other matter?” The human godling stared without comprehension. “Before they lose their teeth!”

All activity around the table ceased. The Shaman's eyes widened.

“Oh! Oh, right.” She faced the other humans. “You're in a world with a strong magical field, now. Humans haven't had to adapt to that in, well, millenia. I'll be giving you your own magic as a sort of... immunization. That's the 'adaptation' part of this all, you see, to allow you to live in this environment.”

“And if you don't?” asked David in trepidation. Alicia bit her lip.

“Have you ever seen the effects of radiation poisoning? Like that, sort of, except with spontaneous transformation into... things.”

“What? Ponies?” Alicia gave Felicia a deadpan stare.

“That's ridiculous. No. What possible reason should I have for letting you all turn into sapient equines?” She cleared her throat. “Think more like... slime molds.”

Ichiro began turning green. From nausea, hoped Celestia, and not from impending slime mold-dom.

“It takes a few days!” assured Alicia, waving her hands for emphasis. “And I can immunize you right now, I just didn't want it to be too surprising.”

“Thank... goodness for that,” drawled Felicia uncertainly. “Well?”

Alicia cleared her throat and closed her still softly-illuminated eyes. Celestia could taste strange magic on the air. Foreign, but not malevolent. Sort of like... strawberries? Odd.

The five humans flickered lightly, in turn. Ichiro and QT were briefly green, Felicia orange, David blue, and Susan violet. And just like that, it was over.

“I don't feel any different,” claimed QT. “Licia?” His sister shook her head gently, blinking.

“Same here, kid.” She looked toward the human godling. “So what, we're all witches, now?” Shaman shrugged.

“Not a clue. This is a different environment than Earth. The witches and wizards of my past are no indication of your future, unfortunately. That's the big part of your stay here. You must learn to access the magic and make it part of yourselves. Once your own talents manifest, the magic will truly be your own. Until then, you're sort of leaching off of me. If you can't do it soon, say, in a few weeks, I'll just have to reapply it until something sticks.” Her hands went out, helplessly.

“I'm sort of in the dark here, too,” she admitted.

“Think of it as a chance to discover your own, special talents,” spoke up Luna. She was nuzzling Susan, who giggled and hugged her neck. “Pony magic is quite individualistic- you'll notice that nearly every adult possesses a mark on their bodies which reflects their given talent, or the way their magic relates to it. Don't be afraid to ask about it, as everypony has a story they're happy to share.” Usually. Some Cutie Mark stories were just downright bizarre.

Little QT eyed Celestia's flank.

“Like yours? You have... sun magic?” Celestia settled for nodding. Explaining her responsibility over an entire celestial body might be a little bit too much, so early into their first, honest meeting.

“And there are some spells that everybody can learn, with practice,” she assured him. “I'm sure you'll be quite the wizard, young sir.” The boy looked excitedly at the others.

“Do I get a wand?”