Desire and Deep Water

A single ray of sunlight shines through the tiniest gap in your curtain, beaming directly over your closed eyes. For a giant burning ball of gas that’s millions of miles away, it’s nice to know that it has pinpoint accuracy when it comes to disturbing your lie-in. Turning over and tossing the covers over your head, you wonder if Celestia really is as much of a joker as Twilight Sparkle says she is.

Ah, screw it, time to get up.

As warm and bright as the sun is, it does nothing to melt the immaculate sheet of ice covering your lake. It’s been like that for over a full week now, yet it hasn’t given off a single droplet from melting. Hopefully Twilight’s magic might return in a matter of days; she’s been showing more and more visible signs of recovery every time you visit, after all. Maybe she’ll finally be able to leave her bed? And before you know it, you’ll have your precious lake back; you’ve been itching for a good swim all week.

You know, when you first started helping Twilight, you were only trying to dispel your own guilt. Now you’re visiting them because you really want to; Spike’s a great guy to talk to, and you’ve learned so much from Twilight since she regained her voice. But you’ve never really met her friends, apart from one or two encounters when delivering books to them and suchlike. She said they take care of her during the day, before you come by in the evenings…

Of course! Why don’t you just pay them a visit now? Your scrap will still be there to sort out when you get back later.

There are other reasons besides company for wanting to see Twilight again. But you wouldn’t go as far as saying you’re smitten with her, right? Even if… well… you totally are, let‘s be honest. But her recovery is way more important than your personal feelings, to be honest, so that takes a back seat for now. Maybe when you’ve plucked up the courage, say, in a month or so.

Heading back into town, towards the familiar tree-home, you wonder which friend of hers is visiting right now…

*******

Bashing three times on the library door, you wait for the usual recital of Spike answering the door, a friendly greeting and an escort to Twilight’s room. Any second now, he’s gonna answer.

Any second now.

Huh. Pressing your ear against the door, you don’t hear the patter of footsteps rushing to open it. Instead, you hear a clatter. Some shouting. Twilight mouthing off a response just out of earshot. More clattering.

“Is everything alright in there? It’s me! Just checking up on you!”

Whoever was in there, there was no acknowledgement of your arrival. Just more heated shouting. Oh gods, what’s going on in there?

“I’m, uh, I’m coming in, okay?”

You open the door to find Twilight out of her bed for the first time in days. She stands firmly in the centre of the library, legs hunched as if she’s getting ready to pounce on something. Her horn flickers a violet glow, on and off, on and off, as if it hurts to use. Nevertheless, she persists.

On the other side of the room, three figures huddle together, with one of them trying to hold on to something. That’s Spike, his claws tightly wrapped around a book that constantly tries of pull away under a bright purple radiance, and two other ponies you didn’t recognise; a female pegasus, with a mane of pink and coat of yellow, and a male stallion you’d never met before.

“Please, stop!” the pegasus pleads, “You’re not supposed to use magic until you’re better! We’ve talked about this!”

“I’m better now! Really!” Twilight calls back. You can’t help but notice the uncertainty in her voice. “Just let go of the book, I wanna read it!”

She does another mental yank with her magic, just as Spike releases his grip. The book falls to the floor, before pitifully dragging itself a few inches. Every eye in the building just watches as it pathetically edges its way towards the desperate unicorn, one weak tug at a time.

“See? I told you I’m all better!” She kids herself, whimpering with each telekinetic pull, “I can - Argh! - use magic again! I’m fully recovered! I-” she trails off when she finally notices you standing there. The look on her face when she realises that you saw the whole thing…

Without a sound, she makes a sprint for her room up the stairs. A moment later, the door slams, leaving you with Spike and the two other guests.

You exchange looks with your dragon friend.

“As much as she likes reading, being without magic is kinda taking its toll on her lately.” he explains.

“How long has she been like this?” you ask.

“About three days now. It’s getting worse and worse. You’d think having her out of bed would help, but no…”

She’s become miserable because she can’t use magic the way she used to. She’s like this because you made her fall under the ice. Your shouting made her fall back there. You gave her hypothermia as a result. She’s like this because of you.

Just when you were getting over the guilt. Great job.

“Are you Spike’s assistant?” asks the stallion. Oh, so that’s what Spike’s been referring to you as. Although you couldn’t really argue against it; Spike did do all of the important things, since he knew how to do it, while you were mostly there to pick up the slack.

“You could say that,” you reply before turning to Spike, “Could you just let me have a word with her? I’d appreciate it.”

He doesn’t object, sticking around with the two other ponies in the main library room while you trot up the staircase. Then you knock gently on Twilight’s door.

“Go away!” her voice cries back, “Just… leave me alone! I used to be able to lift every book in this library, now I can't even lift one!”

“Twilight, it’s me. Please, open up.”

You hear her mutter your name from the other side of the door. For a moment, silence. Then you hear faint hoof steps before she opens the door. Once you’re inside, it shuts behind you.

“Look, I’m sorry you had to see that,” she mumbles, looking at your hooves, not bringing herself to make eye contact. You can see why. “I’m just not used to being without magic, and I kinda got stressed about it. It’s no big deal-”

“Twilight, don‘t bother trying to defend me.” She stops in her tracks when your voice cuts her off, “Of course it’s a big deal. I nearly drowned you! I gave you hypothermia! I’ve pretty much ruined you! And now you’re apologising to me? Why? How can you even stand to be around me? I deserve a buck in the teeth for what I did to you!”

“No.” she protests weakly, “No you don’t! You shouldn't even say that-”

“I’m serious, Twilight!” You disregard the croak in your voice as you break down in front of her. “C’mon! Kick me right here in the face! Right now! Any hoof you want! Just get it over and done with! Please! I’m sick of seeing you hurt like this! I’m sick of living with the guilt every damn night! I-”

Your rant is interrupted when you feel the warmth of her fore-hooves clinging onto you. She buries her face into your shoulder, softly squeezing you in her embrace. After what seems like an eternity, you raise your own hooves and squeeze in return. Just you and Twilight Sparkle.

“It wasn’t your fault. I shouldn’t have frozen the lake in the first place.” her voice muffles from being buried in your shoulder. It feels a little damp to you.

“You were just being nice for a friend. If I hadn’t have yelled at you when I first saw you…” You don’t know what possesses you to do this - maybe your feelings for her - but you give her face a gentle nuzzle with your own, “Just know that I’d never try to hurt you.”

She picks up, if only a little. “And I’d never kick you in the face.”

“Good to know.”

It’s hard to keep track of how long you both stand there, forelegs wrapped around each other, but you honestly don’t want it to end. All great things have to, however, and she pulls away with a smile on her face.

“Tell you what, Twilight,” you say, “Now that you’re healthy enough to walk around again, how about we just go for a walk around town? Some fresh air would help us both take our minds off things, and you could introduce me to your friends! You, me, maybe Spike if he’s up for walks?”

“That would be swell.” she giggles, seemingly over her stresses for now. Either that or she’s bottled them up again. You both trot out of her room, glad to have cleared away each other’s troubles, at least for today. You both had problems to overcome, of course, but you realise just how important it is to tackle them head-on with somepony you trust, rather than try to take it all on your own shoulders.

“C’mon, let’s start on getting you and Fluttershy acquainted! She’s downstairs with her boyfriend, we can go to her place and check out the cute animals…”