Lost and Found

Joy sighed into Sun's mane. Her head was buried against his chest. She was still asleep. It was what Joy needed her to be right now. She wouldn't see him leave. Yet, as much as the thought cried to be enacted, he just couldn't do it. He couldn't leave her in her sleep like this. She stirred, and shifted a little. Joy caressed her, his stomach upset about what he had to tell her. After a little bit of time, her eyes fluttered open, and she smiled.

"Good morning...", she said sleepily. She kissed Joy, and nuzzled back against him. Silently, Joy sat up, and brought her up with him. Sun cocked her head slightly. "You're so quiet...is something wrong?"

"Yes..."

"What's wrong, love?" Joy shook his head.

"Don't call me that." Sun looked hurt.

"But...but why? I love you. Don't you love me?"

"Yes, but as a sister. I just simply can't love you. I won't love you." A tear appeared in Sun's eyes, and slowly slid down her cheek.

"W-what? Why?"

"I'm sorry Sun, but I have another mare now. I have to get home to her."

"But you...you..." Sun's lips were trembling, and more tears followed the first one.

"I thought you were dead, Sun. I had to move on. We had to move on."

"Why didn't you stay? Then you would have never had to move on!" A small amount of anger had entered Sun's eyes, and Joy knew he had to tread carefully.

"I did it for Orchid's sake. Do you know what would have happened to me if she caught what you had?" Sun looked down at the bed covers, multiple spots appearing on the white cover as her tears continued to roll down her face.. "The last time I saw you, you were throwing up blood and hanging onto life. I lied and I lied to Orchid. For her sake. She couldn't know your condition."

"She couldn't...you're right..."

"Those mares took good care of you, but I feared the worst. After a few days, my love for you was trumped by my worry for Orchid. I had to run. If she got sick like you and died..."

"It would have torn you apart."

"Exactly. I didn't think you were going to make, and I didn't want Orchid around to see you in your state. I took her far away, far away enough to stop thinking about you. I did it because I loved both of you."

"You were a good father."

"You were an even better mother. A mother whose daughter should not have had the pain to see her in suffering." Sun seemed to calm down, realizing that everything that Joy did had made perfect sense. Of course it did. Everything he does makes sense., Sun thought.

"What happened to her?"

"Life on the move was too much for the both of us. I found her a good family willing to take her in."

"That's good..."

"Remember how she used to play?"

"Yeah...her beautiful and full pink hair bouncing. Her green eyes shining. Wings flapping constantly, as if they were going to get her somewhere...her yellow skin seemingly incorruptible by either dirt or grime..."

"That is how she was when I left her. She had friends, for the family had a two other daughters. She had a real family where she could stay and be happy."

"What happened after you left her?"

"I wandered alone for three years. Two month's ago, I stumbled upon a town named Ponyville..." Joy went on to explain everything that had happened, from meeting Fluttershy to falling in love with her, and everything in between. Sun listened intently, her tears slowly drying and finally stopping. After he finished, she smiled.

"You did the right thing.", she said.

"I only did what I thought was right. I never expected to fall in love with her, but I knew it was eventual. Once I got close, once I found out for myself that everything about her yearned for companionship, once I realized that that every day that I spent with her, the more I wanted to hold her and just be hers, all the pieces fell into place." Sun nodded. She understood. It was hard wanting to understand, but she did.

"In all my twenty-five years that I have known you, I have never known you to make a bad decision."

"And in all my twenty-seven years, I have made many mistakes. You have just never been there to see them. And one of those mistakes I have made was leaving Fluttershy to come here. I need to get back to her. You can come with me, you and Derpy both, we can get you situated somewhere in town, and then we can still be together as family."

"Let me think about it while I make breakfast." Sun got out of bed. "See you downstairs."

Maybe it was the feeling of rebellion that fueled it. Maybe it was just that fact that it was something different. Whatever the reason was, Fluttershy felt herself growing ever closer to Pinkie. This morning, they lay in bed together. Fluttershy's back was to Pinkie, and she lay nuzzled against her. Pinkie still slept sound, but Fluttershy was abuzz with thoughts and other things. There was really a lot to think about. The peace of the morning didn't last long however. Somepony rapped very loudly on the door, which startled Fluttershy and woke Pinkie with a jolt. They looked at each other with frayed nerves.

"Who could possibly~", Pinkie muttered. She got out of the bed and went grudgingly downstairs. Fluttershy followed her down, but waited on the stairs. Pinkie opened the door, and gasped in surprise.

"Miss Pinkie?", asked a voice. Young and feminine.

"Y-yes?", Pinkie replied.

"Is Miss Fluttershy here?" Pinkie looked at her friend, and then back at the filly.

"Yes...?"

"Miss Fluttershy, I want to see your face.", said the voice. Fluttershy descended the rest of the stairs and reached the door. When she saw who asked for her, she too gasped. A filly, no older than ten, stood in the doorway. Her white skin was pulled thin, and her ribs showed through. Her wispy red and brown hair was flat and looked matte, not luscious as it seemed it should have been. Her amber eyes barely shone. Her wings seemed droopy and weak, and her horn seemed to be nothing except an odd accessory, looking as if it contained absolutely nothing. Yet, she still smiled as if she was living a great life. "Wow...I finally get to see you..."

"Who...who are you?", Fluttershy asked. She pressed closer to Pinkie, who shifted to allow maximum contact. This made the filly scowl for one reason or another.

"Who I am doesn't matter. I mean, I will only see you once. I just wanted to see your face." The filly began to turn.

"Why did you want to see my face?" The filly stopped mid-turn, and looked out on the day.

"Because I have only ever seen you from the shadows. I have only ever seen your back, something that you unknowingly turned on me." Fluttershy was very confused at this point. She took another good look at the filly, and the malnourishment of the filly became her focus.

"Why are you so thin?"

"I don't know. Even my parents don't know. What does it matter to you, anyway?" Both Fluttershy and Pinkie had heard the flat-out lie in the filly's voice.

"Come in. I will get you some food.", Pinkie said. She held the door open wider, and moved out of the way. The filly didn't move. She looked down at the ground, and then met eyes with Fluttershy and Pinkie.

"Why is it that you want to help me? I did not ask for help. I do not need help. I am fine, but I thank you generously for your offer." Pinkie became aggravated at yet another outright lie.

"You WILL come in, and you WILL be fed, and you WILL stop lying to me." The filly blinked.

"Doesn't it seem wrong that you have to force a child into your home?"

"Wha-what?"

"I don't understand why you are trying to force me into this home. I have declined your offer, for it is not necessary. I am going to leave now. If you come after me, I will tell somepony in authority. Understood?" The filly turned and began to walk away. Fluttershy and Pinkie looked at each other, not sure whether to be surprised or utterly confused. Fluttershy sighed, and ran to her cupboards, where she grabbed a few slices of bread and a couple cookies she had baked the day before. She packed them in a box that she had laying around. She picked it up, and flew out the door. She intercepted the filly, who took a step back in shock.

"Take these. Consider them a gift.", Fluttershy said softly. She set the box down. The filly opened it and saw the contents, and then looked calmly at Fluttershy.

"Keep them. Please."

"No. I don't need them as much as you do. I know you want them. I can see it in your eyes."

"You don't know anything."

"I know that you are way too skinny to be healthy. Please, take these. You need to eat."

"I can't!", the filly cried shrilly. Her eyes had grown wide and her breathing had become ragged very quickly.

"Why can't you?"

"They'll hurt me. I don't want to be hurt."

"Who'll hurt you?"

"Mommy and Daddy. They aren't nice to me. They say they don't want me. They say I was just a mistake and they would be happier off without me. They won't let me eat it! They want me to die!" Fluttershy's eyes widened in shock. She looked up, and found Pinkie in the doorway, equally shocked. Quickly, without second thought, Fluttershy wrapped a wing around the filly and brought her inside. Pinkie ran outside and grabbed the box. She brought it in and closed the door. Meanwhile, Fluttershy sat the filly down on the couch. The filly was sobbing.

"Shh...shh...it's okay...shh...", Fluttershy soothed. She hummed a small tune that Pinkie vaguely recognized as something like a lullaby. The filly attempted to talk between her sobs, but her voice was choked and quiet.

"...have to go...expect me home before noon..."

"You're not going anywhere close to your parents again, do you understand?" Angel, wondering what all the commotion was about, hopped onto the couch. The filly saw him, and scooped him up. She began to hug him close. Though the sudden attention seemed to make him distraught, Angel bore with the filly.

"...but they...they..."

"Don't worry about them anymore. If they come looking for you, we will do whatever it takes to keep you away from them.", Pinkie said. The filly's amber eyes met Pinkie's.

"..." The filly took a second to gather her words. "Promise?" Pinkie nodded. "P-Pinkie Promise?" Everything became hush in the room. Pinkie and Fluttershy's already whirling minds began to do so even more, even faster.

"C-cross my heart...hope...hope to fly...stick a cupcake in my eye...", Pinkie breathed. The filly blinked, and then closed her eyes. Fluttershy felt her fall to sleep. She softly laid her down. Angel stayed in the filly's hooves, and curled himself up against her neck. Fluttershy went over to Pinkie, and then sat her side. They both stared at the little mystery which had shown up at the door. For the first time since Twilight's death, both of them felt truly scared. Mutual feelings of fear for the future passed through their minds. Whatever it was that this filly foreshadowed, it wasn't good. The worst part about the fear was that they didn't know what it was they were supposed to fear.

Joy was sitting at the table. A muffin sat in front of him. It was blueberry, his favorite. Yet, he didn't eat it. Sun seemed to be stressed about something (she was gripping the counter, breathing heavily), and that worried Joy more than his appetite.

"Sun, are you alright?"

"Yeah...Yeah, I'm fine. It's just I don't know what to pick. As much as I want to come with you, I have trouble leaving this behind."

"You're sure you're fine? You don't have to make the decision. I could go home and ask Fluttershy if she wants to come here with us."

"No, no, it's alright. I need to make this decision. Keep my past or face the future." Joy nodded.

"Okay, if you say so." He looked hungrily down at the muffin and bit into it, savoring its rich, fruity flavor. He heard a small sob, and looked up to see Sun crying. "Sun?"

"I'm so sorry~"

"For wha-" Joy didn't finish his sentence. He began to feel weak. He tried to get up, tried to use the table to support him, but even his hooves gave out, and he fell to the floor. He closed his eyes, and gave in to the fast-acting sedative.

When he awoke, he didn't actually think he was awake. He was surrounded by darkness. He lay on something cold and grainy. Moving his hooves a little, he figured it was dirt. He got up, and heard something clink. He made an attempt to move, but hit the end of whatever held him, and got tugged back. He fell to the floor, shocked and confused.

"Hello!?", he called out. No reply other than his echo returned to him. "HELLO!? CAN ANYPONY HEAR ME!?" Still nothing. "Why is it so damn dark?", he swore under his breath. Raising a hoof, he touched some kind of collar around his hood. It was metal. It was also very light, which explained why he had not felt it when he had first awoke. Joy paced back and forth as far as the chain let him, thinking, pondering. Then, a door opened, and shed light on the room. Standing in the doorway were two ponies, one larger and one smaller. The light behind them made them look like shadows, so features were undeterminable. The larger one stepped forward, followed closely by the smaller shape.

"Well aren't you just the poorest chap?", ask the larger one. The voice was male.

"Who are you?"

"Oh, you know me." The larger pony pony stepped to the side, so the light could illuminate his face. Joy at once recognized the stallion.

"Rain."

"Ah, so you know me by name too. Let me guess, that pathetic little Fluttershy told you about me."

"She did, yes."

"Perfect. All the more reason to have you right here."

"Where is right here?"

"Do you not recognize it brother?", asked the unmistakable voice of his sister.

"No, I do not."

"It is our basement. I had to clear it out."

"It looks so different without all the clutter and mess."

"Well, there is still one little spot we have yet to clean.", Rain said. "It's disgusting and brown and clinging onto a chained of piece of filth." Joy's eyes widened.

"Don't you dare!", he shouted.

"Should we chain you by the hooves as well? I would love to see how you can stop us from anything if you can't move." Joy went silent. Rain grinned in victory.

"I do wonder, what do you look like?" Rain reached a hoof forward and took hold of Joy's hood. Joy let out a whimper.

"Please...don't..."

"I'm sorry, but I don't sympathize with you." Rain rudely yanked off the hood. In an instant, his smug look of triumph melted into something close to horrified awe.

"Are you happy now!? Are you happy that you got what you wanted!?", Joy cried out. Tears ran down his cheeks.

"You...you..." Joy's eyes blazed, and his face was twisted into a snarl.

"My father would be so proud of you. I hate him. I hate him with all my heart. I don't know how my mother managed to find something in him." Rain was backing up now, terror plastered on his face. "I hope you're happy, Rain. I really do." Rain bumped into a wall, before finding the door and backing out of that. He turned and walked up the stairs, speechless. Sun looked at her brother.

"It's not over. He's going to get over the shock."

"Whatever he does is his choice. Just like whatever you do is your choice." Sun looked away in shame, and then proceeded to walk through the door. She closed it without looking back, leaving Joy in the darkness once more.

Joy lay restless that night. Every scream of pleasure from his sister buried itself into his ears like a drill.

"RAIN! Oh Celestia YES!", she cried. A bang resonated through the building, and Joy guessed that they had fallen to the floor in their love-making. It sickened him.

Why would she involve herself with him? Joy closed his eyes, and sought Tally. He had always been like a conscience. Joy imagined his voice, struggled to hear him talking.

"Tally?"

"I don't know why you insist on calling me that. First, I don't exist. You are just talking to your own subconscious. Second, I'M NOT FRICKIN' TALLY!"

"You sure sound like him."

"Because that is what you make me sound like."

"Well then that is who you are to me."

"For Celestia sake..."

"Okay, let's drop this subject. We can argue about this at a different time. I have a question for you."

"Whatever."

"Do I exist?"

"What?"

"Do I exist?"

"No, no, I heard you. I was just so shocked to hear something like that come out of your mouth. Of course you exist!"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I am sure! What the...I don't even..."

"What if this is just some dream?"

"Okay, are you high?"

"Do you really think I can get drugs like this?" Sun interrupted Joy's thoughts when she let out a scream of climax. Things went silent, and Joy returned to his thoughts.

"You got drugged earlier. That sedative might still messing with your head."

"I feel clear minded."

"Okay, okay. Just...slow down for a second. What in world would make you think that you don't exist?"

"Things seem too surreal."

"Well, I don't think that even remotely explains why you would think you don't exist. However, it does sound like a good reason to believe this is some very powerful lucid dream."

"..."

"Well, say something."

"I don't know..."

"Oh, I know what it is. You are delusional from that idiot pulling off your hood."

"Am I?"

"Okay, I think I am catching your logic now. You have had everything you hold sacred defiled by your enemy."

"Perhaps."

"Damn. I didn't think that hood meant that much to you."

"It was me. I was nothing without the hood and cloak. That was who I was as a pony."

"You grew to hate your looks so much that your method of disguise became you."

"Exactly. So I repeat the question. Do I exist?"

"I still have no idea how the hell to answer that." Tally laughed, and Joy laughed too.

"I don't think I do either."

"Well then why did you ask?"

"I'm beyond bored."

"You're an idiot."

"At your service." Joy shared another laugh with Tally. The door slammed open, bringing Joy out of his thoughts. A drunk Rain stumbled in, Sun trailing behind. Without warning, Rain struck Joy in the stomach. Joy, unprepared for the blow, curled over himself. Rain continued to beat into his stomach.

"You...filthy...son of a-"

"RAIN!", Sun shouted. Joy mentally smiled, remembering Sun's aversion to especially crude language. The smile disappeared when Rain struck Joy upside the head with the bottle in which he had been drinking out of. Joy tumbled to side and reached the end of chain, only semi-conscious. Rain went over to him and began to push his throat against the metal collar. Joy began to choke, spluttering and gagging.

"This is the end...I really am going to die..."

"Faith, Joy."

"What faith is there to retain?" Joy's vision began to fade, and he started to embrace the darkness. Then, Rain let him go. Joy sucked in a huge breath, and his sight rushed back to him.

"IIIIII'm n-n-not done wi you...there's mo...more where THAT came from...", Rain slurred. His stumbled out of the basement and up the stairs. Sun stayed behind. She seemed to be locked in some kind of struggle of conscience. Finally, she walked over to Joy, and gently brushed all the glass out of his face. She used his hood to dry most of the blood that covered his face.

"Why...why Sun...?", he asked weakly. She closed her eyes, and sighed. Then she turned away from him, and simply walked out the door without answering his question. She closed the door, and Joy was once again left in the dark.

With Fluttershy, food and drink had been a commodity. Living with her had been the opposite of living off the land. He had shelter, and food and water had been there whenever he had the urge to quench his thirst or fill his belly. Now locked in his old basement, he was again faced with his survival instincts. He had grown so used to have food whenever he needed it that having now gone a day without it, he found himself in horrible pain. His body cried out for him to eat, his head pounded even more than it should have, even with the blow from the bottle. His sight had begun to waver a little bit, a side-effect of the huge headache. Joy felt determined not to let this get the best of him. However it seemed that he wouldn't have to deal with it when Sun came in with a cup of water. She set it down at his side.

"What if I don't drink it?", Joy asked. Sun was silent. "What if I let myself die?"

"That won't happen."

"You don't know me."

"Yes I do. I am your sister."

"You're not my sister."

"Brother, I think you need to drink that. You sound a little delusional."

"Don't call me Brother. You are not my sister."

"Joy..."

"My sister would never betray me." Sun fell silent as Joy's hard gaze quietly destroyed her. Using the same trick as she had used before to get out of conversation, Sun walked out of the basement without another word. She closed the door.

The day came and went. Joy's hunger continued to torture him. His headache had gotten worse. He felt exhausted, but couldn't sleep. His mouth was dry, and no matter how much he tried, he couldn't wet it. He couldn't even get himself to cry. He was racked with non-stop stomach pain. The cup of water still sat, untouched. Joy was determined not to drink it. A dry tongue passed over dry lips and retreated into a desert. Joy gave in. He grabbed the cup, and swallowed every single drop. He let out a sigh of the most unfortunate of ecstasies. The door opened, and Joy's needy eyes shot to the figures that stood in the doorway. Sun approached first, holding a plate in her mouth. She set it down in front of Joy. On it was a cinnamon-roll like pastry. It smelled divine, and Joy only barely kept himself from stuffing it down right then and there. Sun left without a word, and Rain came forward. He set down another glass of water.

"Eat. Drink.", he said. The pastry disappeared into Joy's mouth, and then the same happened to the water.

"Why don't you just let me rot down here?", Joy asked after he wiped the crumbs from his mouth.

"The game that we children of the dark play is a long and twisted one. Nopony who falls into our hooves simply dies. There's no fun in that."

"So you are going to keep me barely alive. Only the bare necessities, and minimalistic portions at that."

"That's the plan until you start making your own decisions."

"What does that mean?"

"You'll know exactly what I mean when the time comes."

"Why not tell me now?"

"Now where's the fun in that? As a very meticulous player of this wonderful game, I like to keep everything a surprise." A mischievous grin spread across Rain's face.

"At least I know you're here. As long as you're here, you're not with Fluttershy. If you're not with-"

"Oh hush. I get what you mean." Rain got up and walked to the door. He turned around when he reached the frame. "Besides, as long as you're down here, Fluttershy has nopony to protect her. Who's to say I don't leave tonight? Leave you to the whims of your amazing little sister?" With that, the cycle repeated, and darkness became Joy's torturous sanctuary.

A day. A week. A month. These all passed by. Every other day two cups of water. Every day a small food item that made up breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Every third day, Rain would come in drunk, and Joy would be beat. So far, Joy was at one broken rib and a dislocated shoulder. He had never known suffering to be so great. This certain day, the cycle had reached its end again. It was the third day. Rain came through the door, alone this time. He did not smell of alcohol, and seemed completely sober. He stopped and admired his work. Joy was an emaciated skeleton now. Fat had disappeared, and muscled had wasted away as Joy gave in to fatigue and weakness. He was literally skin and bone. Now, on this particular day, Rain walked in with a smile that was more vile than any previous night. He also carried with him a huge meal, covering all three times of day. He also had a pitcher of water.

"Rain...please...mercy...", Joy struggled to get out. These words tasted horrible in Joy's mouth, but it was all he had left.

"You're lucky your sister has a big influence on me.", Rain said. He brought over everything, floating it all with his magic. He set it down in front of Joy. "Go on. I am just going to stay and watch. Wanna make sure you don't get all sick, you know?" Joy barely heard him. He buried his face into the first plate. He had polished it clean in less than ten minutes. He then gulped down half the water pitcher. Rain pulled it away from him. "Woah now. Too much and you're going to throw up." Joy didn't care. He busied himself with the second plate. That was gone in fifteen minutes, max. Another huge swig of water. Onto the third plate. Also gone in less than fifteen minutes. Joy polished off the rest of the water. He looked up at Rain, and smiled.

"Thank you. Thank you so much."

"There's more." Rain pulled out a key, and unlocked Joy's binding. "Come on." Joy followed Rain out of basement, and outside. He relished in the scent of nature, something he hadn't smelled in a long time. The day was hot, but beautiful. Clear skies, birds singing, a light breeze playing through the grass. Rain led him to the nearby river. "Go in. Clean yourself. Take as long as you need." Joy, his cloak and hood long since discarded in the basement, jumped into the river, and let the cold through his body. The way his hooves tingled felt great. The way he went numb felt even better. These things combined, along with washing away all the grime from himself, drove Joy into a near tactile climax. He finally climbed out after what felt like ages. "Go sit in the sun." Joy did what he was told. After waiting in the sun for a little bit, Joy felt Rain's hooves tenderly slide a towel around him, as if the slightest touch might break him. Joy took the towel and dried himself off. He hung the towel on a tree branch. Rain led him back inside and into the basement. Rain brought a bright candle with them, and closed the door. He did not put the collar back on Joy.

"Why are you doing all this for me? I thought that the game you played was long and twisted?"

"And that everything I do is a surprise." Joy saw a gleam in Rain's eyes. Rain got up and walked towards Joy. Joy, though bigger, shrank down.

"Rain...what..." Rain grabbed Joy and pulled him up. He turned him around, and pushed him against the wall. Joy was confused until Rain jumped up on him. "What the hell!? Rai-" Joy felt a pain that was entirely new to him, and he bit his lip to keep from screaming.

Rain lay against the wall, smiling happily. Joy lay on the ground, curled against himself, shivering. The events of the past fifteen minutes were things unforgettable in the worst manner, unforgettable in a way that made you want to forget them.

"Hey Joy." Joy didn't even do so much as twitch his head toward Rain. "Joy?" More silence. "Well, then I think it is time for round two!"

"No...please no...", Joy whispered quietly.

"I knew that would get you to answer. Now that I have your attention...here." Rain moved closer to Joy. He grabbed Joy's cloak, and draped it over him. Then he took Joy's head onto him and slowly caressed him.

"Stop touching me...", Joy said weakly, unable to stop him.

"Shh...hush now...", Rain said softly. Joy did go quiet. He felt cold inside. He felt defiled and uncomfortable.

"Why Rain?", he asked.

"Why? Because I like to keep you on your hooves."

"You..."

"I stopped caring a long time ago Joy. To me, sexuality does not matter. I swing whatever way applies best. It isn't hard to swing towards stallions anyway. The first time is weird and awkward, but then everything after that is easy."

"You're psychotic. Insane."

"Fully."

"Why the food before?"

"I can't make love to a skeleton."

"And the bath?"

"Now why would I touch somepony who was so grimy?" Joy hated giving it to Rain, but the stallion knew how to set somepony up for a hard fall. Rain got up, easing Joy's head off him. He went out of the basement, and returned a couple minutes later with a thick blanket. He draped it over Joy.

"Thanks Rain...", Joy said. Rain smiled.

"Sleep well, Joy." He nuzzled Joy, and then walked out. He closed the door, and Joy heard a lock slide shut. Joy began to cry. Not because he was sad, and not because scared, but because this was the first time he who no clue what the hell was going on. However, Rain had left the candle in the basement with Joy, and it's soft, flickering glow lulled him to sleep.