Cousin, Let's Go Bowling!

by MarineMarksman

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Pinkie Pie, Random, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1905

Pinkie Pie and Applejack go bowling.

In the interest of some family bonding, Pinkie Pie invites Applejack bowling.

Little does Pinkie know, Applejack has a phobia of bowling balls.

Published 2014-01-12 16:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-12 16:30:02 UTC

It's time for cousin cousin bonding

Author's Note

I wrote this drunk, and it has limited editing. So be warned. I'll come back and edit this later. For now, enjoy my drunken mistakes.

It's time for cousin cousin bonding

Applejack leaned against the lone tree that stood atop her favorite hill, which overlooked the majority of the miles upon miles of apple orchards. It was her favorite time of the day, where after a hard day of work, she'd make her way to this hill and watch the sun set. Nothing but the sound of silence, the fresh air that smelt faintly of Granny Smith's cooking, it was the perfect way to end the day.

"Psssssssssssssst... hey..." somepony whispered, disturbing the sound of silence and Applejack's privacy. The orange pony looked up for the source of the voice and found herself nose to nose with Pinkie Pie, whom was sticking out of the tree's hallow. Her friend and newly discovered cousin's typical smile grew ten-fold as they made eye-contact.

"Hi Applejack!" the pink pony chirped happily as she jumped out of the tree and landed in front of her, "Whatcha doing?"

"Howdy Pinkie," the mare greeted as she rose off the ground, "Just enjoying the sunset."

"Oooo! That sounds like fun!" the party mare said.

"It is pretty relaxing," Applejack responded, "so what can Ah do for ya?"

"Oh yeah! Applejack, cousin, let's go bowling!"

The orange mares eyes widened as these words passed through her ears. Her hooves become heavy and began to sweat, as her knees become weak and began to couple. For some reason, a repressed memory of her vomiting up her late mother's spagghetti passed through her head, but that's a story for another time.

"I-I don't know, Pinkie," Applejack said, gulping nervously, "we need to start preparing for next weeks harvest. Ah can't really be-"

"Come on Applejack, everypony has at least some free time. Even the princesses!" the pink mare argued.

"Ah'm sorry Pinkie, but family comes first-"

Before the apple farmer could continue, she caught a glimpse of Pinkie's facial expression. The gigantic smile that was there not give seconds ago was replaced an equally large frown, her lips trembling as if she was about to cry.

"B-but Applejack... aren't we cousins?" she inquired.

As if the frown and trembling lip wasn't bad enough, Pinkie Pie was looking at Applejack with puppy eyes so heart wrenchingly sad that it would have made Applebloom bow in respect.

Sighing in defeat, the orange mare patted her cousin's head comfortingly. "Fine Pinkie Pie... I'll go b-bowling with you."

The pink mare immediately lit up. "Really?!"

"Of course, sugarcube. Ah suppose Ah could use a break. Besides... we're family, right?"

"Right!" Pinkie Pie confirmed.

"Are you sure there isn't anything else you want to do, Pinkie?" Applejack asked her companion as they walked towards the Ponyville's bowling alley, "Maybe we could just go grab some grub at the Sugarcube Corner or somethin'."

"Nope! This'll be fun, don't worry. Besides, I have some coupons I need to use."

Applejack sighed, her hope of getting out of this predicament slipping away with each step closer they got to the bowling alley's. There was no way she was getting out of this.

The two stopped just short of the building's entrance. As the orange mare did her best to hide grimace, Pinkie Pie turned towards her cousin and smiled.

"Now it is time for cousin cousin bonding," the pink pony said, before staring deep into the mare's soul, eyes protruding from her skull, "bond with me Applejack."

To used to her cousin's nonsense to be unnerved, Applejack put on her best fake smile. "Heh heh... alrighty then!"

"Come on! Let's go!" Pinkie chirped, grabbing the mare with the stetson hat by the hoof and tugging her inside.

The sounds of loud chatter and bowling balls striking pins echoed throughout the building as the two entered, causing shivers to travel up and down Applejack's spine and her pink companion's smile to grow exponentially.

"I'll go pay and get our balls. Why don't you go order some pizza for dinner?" the pink mare suggested.

"Okay Pinkie." Getting a grip of herself, Applejack made her way towards the small food court near the back of the bowling alley, doing her best to ignore the ponies bowling. She made her way up to cashier, who smiled at the mare wearing the stetson hat as the cashier noticed her.

"Hi!" the cashier greeted, "welcome to Pizza Shack! What can I get for you?"

"Ah'll take a- wait, Pizza Shack? What in tarnation? Don't you mean Pizza Hut?" the orange mare asked with a raised brow.

"What?! No!" the cashier exclaimed, before leaning in and whispering, "what are you trying to do? Get us sued?"

Applejack shook her head no.

The cashier looked at her suspiciously for a few moments, before her smile returned. "Right! What can I get for you?"

"Ah'll take a large cheese pizza."

"Anything else?"

"Hmmmm... nah. Ah think that'll be it."

"Alright! We'll bring the pizza over to you when it's ready."

"Much obliged," Applejack said, placing some bits before the cashier and walking off. Though she did her best to ignore the bowlers, the sound of a lucky colt getting a strike caused her thoughts to wander towards darker times.

However, her thoughts were interrupt as she accidentally bumped into a fat stallion with a rather disgusting beard.

"Oops, sorry there partner," she apologized, tipping her stetson to him.

"Y-you too," he stammered out as he tipped his fedora to her and pushed past her. Out of the corner of her eye, Applejack swore that she saw some spaghetti leaking out of his pockets, but she couldn't be too sure.

"APPLEJACK!" she heard her cousin call. She looked around and spotted the pink mare waving at her from across the room. The orange mare quickly made her way over to where Pinkie was waiting.

"Did you order the pizza?" the partier asked.

"Yup. It should be here in a jiffy," Applejack stated.

"Great! Hey, here's your ball! It's orange, like you!" Pinkie Pie said, holding out a shiny, orange bowling ball to the apple farmer.

Applejack's eyes widened as she took in the sight of the bowling ball. Her reflection shifted and deformed as her mind wandered back to a time six years ago. A happier time.

"Striiiiiiiiiiiike! Good job big brother!"

"Eeyup."

It was six years in the past, and the Apple Family was on a family outing to the local bowling alley. This wasn't their first time to the bowling alley. In fact, the Apple Family came there pretty regularly on the weekend. But this time was special for two reasons. The first reason is that the Apple Family was joined a new member, Applejack's newly born sister, Applebloom. The second reason? It was the first time that Applejack would be allowed to bowl.

"Is it my turn now?" Applejack asked her father.

Her father smiled. "Yes darling, it sure is."

"Can I wear your lucky hat while I do it?" the little orange filly asked him.

"I don't see the harm in it," he said, placing his stetson hat on her head.

Now, with her fathers lucky stetson balancing delicately on her head, Applejack made her way up to the plate. Big Macintosh grabbed an orange bowling ball, the same exact color as the fillies coat, and placed it in front of her.

She looked out from under from her fathers stetson and looked down the alleyway. With her tongue stuck out, she twirled around and bucked at the bowling ball, sending it flying. She watched her family cheer for several moments, before their expressions turned to one of horror.

Applejack turned around in time to see the bowling ball bounce off one of the gutters and get some serious air. The bowling ball flew across the room and hit a propane tank that was just sitting around for some reason.

A stallion who was passing by the propane tank pulled out a cigar and a lighter.

Seconds later, there was a large explosion.

Out of the fifty-six ponies that were currently inside the bowling alley, only Applejack, Big Macintosh, and Applebloom survived by some miracle.

"Helloooooooooooooooooo?! Ground control to Major Applejack, are you receiving?"

Applejack shook out of her trance, her haunting memories fading away as she regained control of her body. "W-what?"

"You okay? You kind of spaced out after we finished playing the scream game."

"Y-yeah..." the farmer said, unsure herself.

"Pizza delivery!" somepony called out. Pinkie and Applejack looked over to see the mare who was manning the cashier earlier approaching them with a large pizza in hoof. Suddenly, she misplaced a step, and she fell forward, the pizza in her hooves flying out of it's box and launching towards the two mares.

"Oooooo! The pizza is aggressive!" Pinkie Pie called out, before taking cover.

"Oh shoot!" Applejack cried, just narrowly dodging the pizza pie.

The mare who fell rose from the ground, rubbing her head. "Oh... I'm so sorry guys. I'll go get you guys another pizza."

"Nah, that's not needed. We're just going to go play," Pinkie Pie said, "Besides, we just needed it for the gag."

Both Applejack and the worker looked at the pink mare strangely before waving it off. Everypony in Ponyville knew Pinkie was a little loco in the coco.

As the worker walked away, Pinkie lead her cousin up to the plate. While Applejack was freaking out internally, the pink mare calmly placed the orange bowling ball in front of her.

"Come on, Applejack! Knock it out of the park!"

"You do realize we're bowling, right?"

"You know what I mean. Get that strike."

"I-I don't know Pinkie-"

"What are you worried about? You're not going to hurt anypony or anything. Except for maybe the pins. But they're used to it."

Applejack gulped nervously, glancing at the bowling ball, before facing Pinkie Pie. "You got to face your fears eventually, right?"

Pinkie Pie shook her head like she knew what she was talking about.

The farm pony took a deep breath. "Alright... here goes..."

She turned around, and bucked the orange bowling ball with all her might.

"Woooooot! Go Apple- OH DEAR CELESTIA!"

Applejack turned around in shock, watching once again as the ball bounced off the gutter and launched into the air.

"Run!" the orange mare cried.

As the two ran for the exit, Applejack looked over her shoulder and watched in horror as the ball rocketed across the room and knocked over some conveniently placed gas canisters. They fell over, spilling gas all over bowling alley's floors. A smoking pony slipped in the gas, causing him to fall over and drop his cigarette. The gas immediately lit up, and an inferno quickly spread through the bowling alley. Only Pinkie Pie and Applejack escaped, running out of the building just as the fire reached the exit.

"This is why I didn't want to go bowling!" Applejack called over to Pinkie Pie as they continued to run.

"I know, I just wanted to see if you really were Shiva, god of destruction!"

"WHAT?!"

"Oh, nothing!"

"Grandpa, that was a horrible! The ending was simply deplorable!"

"Shut up kid, you're like five. And at least Spike didn't die this time."

"But that's the best part!"

"You're an idiot. A lost cause."