The One Pony You Never Prank

Chapters

How My Life Got Flipped Turned Upside Down
The End of Rainbow Dash
Friends to the End
Mind Games
The Two Best Friends Anypony Could Ask For
The Power of Hamsters
At Least She Tried
Long Live Raindash Bow
Strike One
Strike Two
The Sweetie Belle Sidetrack
Strike Two Thousand and Forty Three
Only Pinkie Pie
Penultimate
The One Prank To Rule Them All

How My Life Got Flipped Turned Upside Down

Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie sprinted across the field. “Come on. We can’t let them catch us,” Dash said. Behind them, far off in the distance, were two stallions in security uniforms charging at them. The sound of their hoofsteps grew closer by the second. In front of Dash was a bush next to one of the many roads on the outskirts of Ponyville. “There. Quickly.” Dash and Pinkie made the final push to the bush, giving it their all, and jumped in. The hoofsteps of the stallions drew closer and stopped in front of the bush. They were so close that Dash could hear their sweat drip and hit the grass below. She held her breath and stuffed her hoof up Pinkie’s mouth. Pinkie didn’t fight back.

“Where’d those two go? They have to be here somewhere,” one of the stallions said. His hooves couldn’t have been more than an inch away from the bush. Dash contorted her body to better fit inside.

“I don’t know man. Don’t see em,” the other said. He stomped the ground and growled. “Let’s just go back. We probably would’ve gotten fired anyway.”

They both ran away from the bush. Within seconds all sound of them was gone. Dash lifted her head out of the bush. The stallions were now nearing Ponyville and yelled at each other. “Suckers,” Dash said. She chuckled. “Come on out Pinkie. The coast’s clear.”

Pinkie dug underneath the bush and came out of the ground. She spit out some dirt and worms. Dash didn’t react. Seeing Pinkie do things like this was normal for her by now—too normal actually. She chuckled. “Now was that a prank or what? Told you we’d do it, and boy did we do it,” Dash said.

Pinkie laughed and jumped in place. “And don’t forget about how fun it was. I haven’t had that much fun in a long time. We should do this every morning.”

Dash was lost in thought, reliving the prank. The fact that it was all over nearly brought a tear to her eye, but she had no regrets. “You having any luck getting Mayor Mare’s face out of your head? Cuz I sure as heck can’t. Not that I’m complaining though.” Memories of the prank came flooding back and Dash collapsed to the ground. The barrage of laughter caused her stomach to cramp. She reveled in the pain. “I didn’t even think it was possible for a pony to get that mad.”

Pinkie stopped laughing. She frowned. “You don’t think we hurt her feelings though? I don’t want her to get sad because of what we did.” There was a genuine concern in her voice.

“Naa,” Dash said. “The mayor’s a big girl; she can handle it. I just hope she doesn’t kick us out of town though.” She took a deep breath and stood still with her eyes shut. Mayor Mare’s face was out of her system, or at least as much as it’d ever be. Dash put on her serious face. “But enough about the past. It’s time to focus on the future. Pinkie Pie, bring out…” She paused for dramatic effect. “The List.”

Pinkie looked around. “Hmm. Now where’d I put that?” She paused for a second. “Oh yeah.” Pinkie dug through the ground and came back with a rolled up piece of paper in her mouth.

“You’re pushing it Pinkie,” Dash said.

“Sorry.”

Pinkie spat out the paper and allowed it to stretch out on the ground. It stretched across the road to a nearby tree. Dash walked to it. The List had the names of what had to have been every resident of Ponyville and beyond. It even had names like Princess Luna and Discord. Some of them were crossed out, while others were circled with red marker. Dash turned to Pinkie. “So tell me. Who’s our next victim?”

Pinkie ran to the end of the List and picked it up. “Let’s see…” She began reading. Ooh. What about Cheerilee?”

Dash reviewed a plan of attack for Cheerilee in her mind. “Naa. I just can’t see it being that funny. Trust me, I know my stuff.”

“Okay…” Pinkie went down the List. “What about…Lyra?”

“Done it already,” Dash said.

“Cloudkicker?”

Dash growled. “Come on Pinkie, give me a good one. Think big. It’s gotta be somepony that deserves to be graced by one of my pranks. I don’t just prank anypony ya know.”

“Hear you loud and clear,” Pinkie said. She continued reading. “And I think I got just what you’re looking for. I know you’re going to love this one.” Dash listened with suspense. Choosing always was the hardest part.

“Twist,” Pinkie said.

“What?” Dash screamed. The birds and animals all evacuated the area. Dash felt like facehoofing until her skull cracked. “Really Pinkie? Of all the ponies you could’ve picked you pick Twist?”

Pinkie frowned so hard that it actually scared Dash. Tears formed in her eyes and she hung her head. She didn’t say anything, but instead moved further down the List. “What about Twilight?”

Dash paused. She reviewed the plan of attack for Twilight. The options, the possibilities—it brought her to tears—the beauty of it all. Dash rubbed her hooves together and let out an evil laugh that would’ve scared Sombra. She ran to Pinkie and embraced her with full force. “You sure know how to pick em Pinkie.” She dropped her and stared into space. “I can see it now. I ‘ve always wanted to prank Twilight big.”

“Oh really?”

Dash froze. There was no mistaking that voice or where it’d come from. Dash lifted her head. Twilight hovered over them. Her hooves were crossed and she did not look happy. “How long have you been there?” Dash said.

Twilight began her descent. “Long enough.” She touched the ground and walked to Pinkie and Dash, stepping right over the List. “Where have you two been? I’ve been looking all over for you guys. Don’t you know how late you are?”

Dash and Pinkie looked at each other in silence. “Late for what?” Dash said.

Twilight stomped the ground and growled. “Are you two serious?”

Dash and Pinkie gave a blank stare.

“Why am I even surprised? Princess Celestia is visiting today. That ring any bells?” Twilight said.

Dash and Pinkie gave the same blank stare.

“She wanted all of us to meet her at Sugarcube Corner at noon sharp.”

Dash and Pinkie’s faces were unchanged.

“Seriously?” Twilight yelled. “I reminded all of you thirty-seven times yesterday. I counted.”

Pinkie’s face began to show movement. “Oh I remember now. I baked a cake for it and everything. And it was thirty-eight times, not thirty-seven.”

Dash was still lost in thought. She was unsure if she had forgotten or had just not paid attention to Twilight the day before. Knowing herself, it was probably the latter, but that didn’t mean she was going to admit it. She smirked. “Alright then. So what did we miss? I mean it must’ve been something important if the Princess wanted us there at noon sharp.”

“Well, actually…” Twilight tilted her head down. “She isn’t here yet.” Twilight lifted it back up with an angry look on her face. “But you’re still late.”

“Relax,” Dash said. She put her hoof over Twilight’s body. “Like you said, the Princess ain’t here yet. So what’s the problem? We’ll be there.”

Twilight just stared at Dash with the same angry look. “Just hurry up and get there.” She took off from the ground and flew away. Dash and Pinkie watched as she disappeared from view.

“We better get going then. You heard Twilight. We don’t wanna be late,” Pinkie said. Dash turned around so fast that her back nearly snapped off. She shot towards Pinkie.

“Y-You’re leaving?” Dash shook from excitement and smiled. She tried to control herself but found herself bouncing around like Pinkie.

“Yeaaah,” Pinkie said. “The visit sounded super important, and I can’t just let all that cake go to waste. What kind of pony would that make me? Aren’t you going?”

“No.” Dash titled her head away from Pinkie. “I…uh have things to do. You know, pegasus stuff.”

Pinkie didn’t look like she bought it. She gave Dash a piercing glare and moved her head towards Dash’s. Dash moved her head back and put up the best smile she could. Sweat dripped from her face and she made sure not to look Pinkie in the eye.

“Okey dokey then,” Pinkie said. Her face had returned to normal in an instant, smile and all. Dash sighed with relief and wiped away the sweat from her forehead. Pinkie merrily skipped away and bobbed her head from side to side. “See you at the party then. Don’t be late or all the cake’ll be gone.”

“Wait,” Dash screamed at the top of her lungs. The scream was so loud that it scared the birds out of their trees a mile away. Pinkie stopped and turned around. “What path are you taking?” Dash struggled to keep a straight face.

“Path? I just usually skip around through the fields. Sometimes I don’t even go in a straight line and end up who knows where. Those are the really fun days,” Pinkie said.

Dash’s mind went into overdrive. She thought for a few seconds and gave a warm and comforting smile. “But you don’t wanna be late do you? If you go through the fields you’ll be wasting time, time you could spend at the party, and I’d hate for that to happen. Take the east path to Ponyville.” Dash pointed to it. “Trust me; it’s the fastest by far.”

Pinkie smiled. “You really are a good friend Rainbow Dash. I know I can always count on you.” She bounced away towards the east path, one of the many roads that connected Ponyville to the rest of Equestria.

“Remember. The east path,” Dash shouted. She waved goodbye until Pinkie went out of view. With Pinkie gone she let out an evil laugh, one even more terrifying than the last. She took out a rolled up piece of paper and stretched it on the ground. It was titled The REAL List in bigger letters than the other one and had only one name written on it, circled over a dozen times in dark red—Pinkie Pie. Dash looked up at the sky and felt a thrill not even racing could give her. “Time for the best prank ever.”

Dash flew over the east path and looked down at the scenery below her. She twisted her head in every direction and slowed down to a near hover. “Come on, Pinkie’ll be here any second. Where’d I put it?” Below her was a sea of bushes and trees, all indistinguishable from each other down to the leaf. Dash focused on every one of them and tried to remember which one was her destination. There was one that seemed familiar, a series of tall bushes and a tree that covered them from the top. Dash accelerated to it.

“Got it,” she said. She skipped the celebrations and touched down, going through the tree and behind the bushes. A box stood in front of her. It was almost as big as the tree and was hidden by the vegetation around it. Dash pushed it onto the road, going around the bushes. With the box in the center of the path she sighed and patted herself on the back. She kicked it, and the box split on all four edges and opened up from the top. Inside, and now the only thing in the area that wasn’t green or dirt, was a cake twice the size of Dash. On it was written The Best Cake Ever, and from one look at it anypony could tell that it was worthy of the title. Its pure white frosting, its artisan level decorations, even the candles on top—everything about it was on a level that could drive anypony into a frenzy of temptation. Even the wedding cake of Princess Cadence and Shining Armor looked like a sloppy mess compared to it. Dash wasn’t tempted in the least, or even made hungry by it. She just stared at it and chuckled with the same evil tone as before. “And so it begins,” she said.

Humming came from the road. There was no doubt in Dash’s mind to who it was. She jumped into the bushes that had before hidden the box and held her breath. The humming grew louder by the second and its voice more distinctive. Dash stuck her head out of the bush. On the far side of the road, opposite from Ponyville, was Pinkie Pie, skipping along towards her. Pinkie’s eyes were closed and she bobbed her head from side to side, no doubt lost in her own little world. Dash brought her head back inside. “Perrrfect.”

Dash reached deeper into the bush and pulled out a remote with a big red button on it. “Sorry Pinkie, but you had this coming for a while now. That’s what happens when you mess with the master.” She kissed it. “I can see it now. Pinkie’ll see the cake on the ground and won’t be able to control herself. She’ll go right for it. And then, just as she takes the first bite…BOOM! She’ll be so sad that she’ll never get to taste the world’s best cake. It’ll drive her crazy.” Dash pressed her hooves against her cheeks and squeed. “It’s gonna be so awesome.” For a second she felt a sense of guilt at what she about to do. She brushed it off though. It was just a prank.

“I do feel like an egghead after having to read so many books to make all this though.” Dash chuckled. “Not like I wouldn’t do it again.” She stuck her head out again. Pinkie was closer, now less than a hundred feet away. Dash disappeared back into the bush and tightened her grip on the remote. Her hoof on the button shook. She closed her eyes. Pinkie grew closer with every passing second. Dash put more pressure on the button and waited for the perfect moment to strike. Thoughts raced in her head. A million voices told her to just do it, and a million others told her to stick with the plan and wait. Her whole body shook with anticipation.

A gust of wind blew through the bush. It knocked Dash back a few inches, but she gave it no attention. The only things in her universe were the button, the cake and the sound of Pinkie’s hoofsteps. The wind stopped, and a second later the sound of clanging metal and what had to have been rocks shattering came from in front of the bush. It almost caused Dash to press the button, but she snapped out of it and reminded herself of the plan.

Hoofsteps now came from in front of the bush. They sounded different than Pinkie’s, as they were too organized and heavier, but that could’ve just been due to Pinkie eyeing and drooling over the cake. Dash put more pressure on the button. The steps got closer to the cake and stopped. The voices in Dash’s mind spoke up again and all said one thing. “That’s it. I can’t take it anymore,” Dash said. She pressed the button.

The explosion nearly rocked Dash out of the bush. It was as loud as a bomb, and from the force of it just as strong. Dash pictured Pinkie’s face and laughed with her mouth shut. She pictured Pinkie on the ground, confused and trying to lick the cake off the ground in desperation. Dash couldn’t wait any longer to see the fruits of her master plan. She jumped out of the bush. “Ha. Got ya.”

Dash’s heart dropped. She collapsed to the ground as the scene around her came into focus. Cake gunk was everywhere, and in the middle of it all—covered from head to hoof—was Princess Celestia and her royal guards.

Author's Note

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The End of Rainbow Dash

The gravity of the situation ripped Dash in two. She stumbled back into the bush with only thought in mind. This. Can Not. Be Real. Her body numbed and head spun. “This isn’t real. This isn’t real. This isn’t real,” she kept on repeating. She closed and reopened her eyes after every repeat. Surely this had to be a dream she thought. After all, this wouldn’t have been the first time she had a nightmare like this. Always striving to be the best, knowing that she could fail—Dash practically had a love affair with nightmares, and in a way used them as another tool to better herself. They always involved her doing something stupid and ruining her life, which was just more proof that this was all a wild dream. So why then couldn’t Dash get rid of the feeling gnawing at her from the inside? The feeling was like a whisper, impossible to ignore and impossible to get rid of. Dash tried to fight back, but there was no denying the truth that was right in front of her. This was real, and there was nothing she could do about it.

The surrounding area, up to a few hundred feet away, was covered in cake gunk. The trees, the dirt, the animals—everything. It was all one blob of pink and brown, with a few sprinkles every here and there. Inside it, and as pink and brown as the rest, was Princess Celestia. Every part of her, from the tip of her horn to her ever flowing tail, was covered. She stumbled around like a giant cake monster and kept on slipping from the gunk below her. She fell flat on her face every time, which only further transformed her into a cake filled monstrosity.

The Princess’s royal chariot was just as hit by Dash’s stupidity as she was. Its golden and finely woven royal purple exterior was now nothing but dripping cake slop, ruining an over one thousand year old national treasure. Every drop that fell hit Dash like a slap to the face, reminding her of just how real the situation around her was.

The royal guards were also covered in gunk. They all tried to use each other as support to stand up but ended up just bumping each other to the floor. One of them refused to fall however and ran in circles with his hooves stuck to his face by the now drying gunk. “My eyes. My eyes,” he screamed. He slammed his head on everything he could find, including the chariot, but still the cake didn’t come off.

The guard dropped to his knees and slammed his head on the ground. He crawled to Dash and held her hooves. “It won't come off. It buuuuurns,” he screamed. He slammed his face into Dash’s hooves. His face and hooves were still one.

Dash kicked him away. She didn't scream as the shock of the situation had removed all ability for her to speak. The royal guard crawled back to her. Dash stepped backwards. She put her hooves over her ears, trying to tune out the ringing inside her head. Every second Dash stayed the ringing got louder until it felt like the world itself was screaming. In the flash of a second Dash saw all of her dreams—the Wonderbolts, her friends, her future—burn up in flames, with only darkness remaining. That was now her future.

Dash flew off into the sky. She sucked in as much air as she could with each breath and was so disoriented that she flew as if she was on poison joke. She didn’t have a destination in mind other than anywhere but the crime scene. The trees underneath her became thicker and more packed together until she was over the outer layer of the Everfree Forest. She touched down and tried to catch her breath. She looked in every direction. She was alone, or at least as alone as you could be in the Everfree Forest. The once self-proclaimed toughest pony in all of Equestria fell to the floor, on the verge of tears. "This can't be happening. I'm done for,” Dash said.

Dash kicked a tree and growled. The tree snapped in two. “The Princess’ll never forgive this. She’s probably planning my punishment right now.” An image formed in Dash’s head. She saw herself inside a dungeon with fifty layers of bars. Outside was all of Equestria, including Dash’s friends. They all shook their heads and looked at her with scorn in their eyes. Dash slapped the image out of her head. “Snap out of it Dash.” She took a deep and relaxing breath. “Come on. This is Princess Celestia we’re talking about. She’s cool…” Dash chuckled awkwardly. “Yeah. I mean, she wasn’t even mad that time we all destroyed the Gala.” Dash’s body relaxed. She started to smile, but just barely. “Ahhh, I knew I was getting myself all worked up over nothing. Dungeon. Ha. I crack myself up sometimes.” She got up. “The Princess is probably laughing right now. She’ll probably even congratulate me for getting her so good. Might even give me a medal or something.”

Dash froze. Her eyes popped to twice their normal size and every strand of hair on her body stood erect. “But if she doesn’t? What if I pushed her too far and now she’s out for revenge?” Dash jumped into a bush and looked around again. “This is Princess Celestia we’re talking about after all. She banished her own sister to the moon for a thousand years. What is she gonna do to me?” Dash ran from bush to bush. Her eyes grew redder with every passing second. "She'll probably banish me into a deadly volcano, or turn me into a bug, or turn me into a bug and banish me into a volcano." Dash shivered with her hooves over her head. “Oh. Why do I always do this to myself?”

There was something poking Dash from behind. It felt like a hoof. Dash screamed and fell to the ground. She squirmed around like a worm. There was another scream, but not from Dash. Another pony came into view and stumbled back, almost tripping from the mud and wet grass on the ground. It was Scootaloo.

Dash relaxed herself. Her heartbeat was still audible. “Phew. It’s just you,” she said, catching her breath. Dash stayed on the ground for another ten seconds before getting up.

“Yeah... it’s me,” Scootaloo said. “What’s with the screaming? And why are you so sweaty?" She stared at Dash without saying a word, as if inspecting her. “Hey Dash, are you…okay?”

Dash stood shaking and with an on and off derp. She turned her head in every direction in a twitch like motion. “Yep. Never better,” she said. “Just came back from training for the Wonderbolts. What could be better than that?” Her head twisted in unnatural motions and positions. The scariest thing was that her neck didn’t even crack, it just moved from position to position like jelly. “Why? Don't I look okay?”

Scootaloo kept on staring. “Well…you look like you just came of a…what’s the word? A loony barn. Should I be scared?”

Dash continued to shake and twitch. She was lost in her own world and was even oblivious to the group of butterflies resting on her eyes. “Anyway…” Scootaloo said, looking weirded out. “Where have you been? The whole town’s looking for you.”

Dash snapped back to reality. She twisted her head towards Scootaloo and rushed to her. Dash pressed her face against Scoot’s. “W-What?” She pressed harder. “Why?”

Scootaloo stepped back. Dash tipped over and fell on her face, right into the mud. “Princess Celestia just came into town and said she wanted to talk to you. She said it was important and sent everypony in Ponyville to go find you. Something about teaching somepony a lesson."

Dash felt as if she was having a heart attack. Every doubt she had was gone. Celestia was out for revenge, and there was nothing she could do.

Dash stood still and silent. Scootaloo grabbed her hoof. “Let’s go. You don’t want to keep the whole town waiting do ya?” Scootaloo said. She jumped on her scooter and drove out of the area, dragging Dash along with her. Dash didn’t protest, fight back or really do anything at all. She was too lost in thought and busy counting down the seconds to her demise. It didn’t take Dash long to realize that suicide was now the best option; the only problem was choosing the best way out. There was no shortage of plants and monsters in the forest that would’ve loved to eat and rip her apart, but that just would’ve been too boring. If she was going to go out then it was going be on her terms—with a bang. One option was sonic rainbooming herself to the ground. Another was flying towards the vacuum and chill of space, something Dash had wanted to do since she was a filly. She could’ve tried to escape, but the life of Equestria’s most wanted fugitive was not the one Dash wanted to live.

“Triple rainboom towards the sun it is then,” Dash said to herself.

Scootaloo and Dash reached Ponyville. Right from the get go everypony stared at Dash. They all shook their heads and looked at her with scorn in their eyes. Many of them walked away the moment Dash came into view. One mare even kicked her daughter behind her. Dash just accepted it and looked down at the trail her plot left on the ground behind her. She held back her tears—she didn’t want to go out as a crybaby.

Scootaloo kicked open the door to Sugarcube Corner. “I got her,” she said. She set Dash down on the floor and looked at her flank. It was as blank as ever.” Really?” Scootaloo sighed. “It’s just getting old now.”

Dash slowly raised her head, keeping her eyes closed on the way up. She opened her eyes. Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack and Pinkie Pie all stood at the room, looking so mad they were unrecognizable. They all looked down at Dash with a glare that ate her away from the inside. Dash had never seen them that mad before, not even at Discord. She was now just a low life criminal to her once best friends—nothing more.

All the windows in the room were shut which left the corners and back in partial darkness. There were no drinks, food or even cake anywhere to be found. It was as if a party had never been planned at all. Even Mr. and Mrs. Cake were gone.

A lone figure, twice the size of Dash, stood in the darkness behind Twilight, facing the other way. Dash gulped hard.

“Thank you. You may leave now.” It was Princess Celestia. Her voice was harder than usual and lacked its trademark kind but wise tone.

“Alright. Have fun you guys,” Scootaloo said. She ran out of the building.

Celestia turned around. Her eyes glowed red in the darkness, like a pair of overgrown stars about to explode. She stepped out of the shadows and stared Dash right in the eye. Dash closed her eyes and prepared for the end.

Author's Note

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Friends to the End

Celestia grew closer to Dash step by step. Dash shivered, with her eyes still shut, and saw her life play scene by scene inside of her head. From her days as a foal learning how to fly, to her first sonic rainboom, and now to her untimely end—it was so beautiful, and yet so…short. Celestia’s hoofsteps were now only feet away and increasing with frequency. Dash held her breath and began to count down. It then hit her. Maybe she still had a chance? Maybe if she begged like nopony had ever begged before Celestia would find it in her heart to forgive her, or at least throw her in a nicer dungeon. It was a longshot, but it was all Dash had left. Dash let go all control of her hooves and prepared to collapse to the ground. As she began to fall however, still standing to the untrained eye, a hoof rested itself on her shoulder. Dash opened her eyes. It was Celestia, looking down at her with a smile.

“It’s about time you showed up,” Celestia said. She laughed. Her voice was back to its original tone and she looked at Dash almost motherly. Dash’s shivering lessened, but there was still no doubt in her mind as to what this was. This was obviously just another one of Celestia’s tricks. It was clear Celestia wanted to lure Dash into a false sense of security and get her later, when she least expected it. Dash played along and smiled.

“My bad,” Dash said. She chuckled and kept her gaze focused on Celestia’s face, looking for the smallest gesture or reaction that could hint her to Celstia’s true plan. “Was busy training. You know how it is Princess.”

Celestia turned around and walked back to her original position. “Training or no training, you should have planned ahead. You’ve kept us all waiting for quite some time now.”

Dash kept on guard. Celestia seemed sincere, but that was no doubt all part of her sick and twisted plan. “So, what did I miss?”

Rarity jumped in front of Dash. “What? You don’t know?” She still looked mad, as did the others. “Somepony actually had the audacity to prank the Princess.”

Somepony. Rarity didn’t know the truth…or did she? Dash had to make sure. She acted surprised and rushed towards her. “W-What?” She paused and kept her jaw dropped. It was obvious overreacting. “No way. You’re kidding right?” Dash said.

“She’s not,” Fluttershy said. Seeing her mad was as jarring as it was frightening. “It was terrible.”

“Terrible? Terrible?” Rarity screamed. “It was more than terrible. It was disgusting. A crime against everypony if I do say so myself.”

“Yeah. You tell em Rarity,” Applejack said. There was something off about her. She made the lying face she made the time they fought Discord and kept on looking around aimlessly. Her eyes moved from side to side nonstop. Dash ignored it and focused on the task at hand.

Pinkie and Twilight didn’t add to the conversation. Twilight in particular just glared at Dash, giving her a death stare. Dash gave one back as a joke, but only for a second. “I can’t believe this. What was the prank?” Dash said, still overreacting.

“Ooh. Can I tell her?” Pinkie said. “Okay so Princess Celestia and her royal guards landed near Ponyville.” She stretched her stomach outwards. “It was noon and the Princess still hadn’t eaten. I can’t even imagine being that hungry. A whole morning without food, are you crazy? The most I’ve ever gone without food was three hours and that was only because-.”

Everypony stared at Pinkie, silent and confused. Dash faked coughed.

“Oh right.” Pinkie chuckled. “Sorry.” She began walking in place. “The Princess walked on the road, not knowing if she could make it. The hunger was just too much.” Pinkie drooled and made an expression of amazement and wonder. It was the same one Dash had made the first time she saw the Wonderbolts. “And then, just when all hope was lost, a cake popped out of a bush. The Princess jumped right for it, cuz really, who wouldn’t be excited if a bush gave you a cake?” Pinkie started crying and the room itself got darker. “But then, the bush decided to become a big meanie and blew up the cake right in front of her—before she could even take a bite. Poor Princess Celestia was so sad she walked in still covered in cake goo.”

Light returned to the room and Pinkie smiled again. “But now that I think about it, it’s not all bad. I mean I wouldn’t mind being covered in cake. I’d be delicious,” Pinkie said jumping in place. Everypony stared at her again, not even surprised in the slightest. “Well I would be,” Pinkie said. There was an awkward silence.

“Well I can’t imagine anything more dreadful,” Rarity said. “Just the thought of all that cake in my mane makes me-. “ She shivered with fear.

Applejack laughed."Good one Rarity...” She made the lie face again and looked around again. “C-Can’t agree with ya more.”

“And that’s not all,” Fluttershy said. Her facial expression went from mad to sad. She looked down and her voice softened. “Those poor royal guards even had to go to the hospital. Oh, I hope they’re okay,” she said.

The conversation continued. Everypony shared their reactions and commented on the crime, except for Twilight. She continued to glare at Dash. Dash kept her gaze away from her. Celestia stayed in the back. She faced the other way and just listened, not saying a single word or even reacting. Dash sighed with relief. The longer they all talked the more she was convinced that nopony knew it was her. Nearly every doubt she had was gone—nearly. There was still one question left.

“Are there any leads? I mean sompony’s gotta know who did this,” Dash said.

“Nope,” Twilight said in an angry voice. Her glare made Dash uncomfortable. She didn’t even blink. “No leads.”

Dash tried as hard as she could to not smile, but it was futile. Her smile was so big that it hurt her cheeks. She felt like flying around and screaming with joy. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this happy.

Rarity ran to Dash. She put her hoof over Dash’s shoulder. “Don’t you worry. I promise you that the criminal who did this atrocity will be caught and brought to justice.” She turned to Celestia. “Isn’t that right Princess?”

The room fell silent. Everypony turned to Celestia and waited for her response. It nearly took a minute for Celestia to react. She took a deep breath and sighed. She turned around and began to walk towards Dash and the gang. “Being Princess for over a thousand years I’ve fought many villains during my reign. Some of them were no more than petty criminals, while others required every ounce of power I had to defeat them.” Celestia stood over Dash like a mountain. “I’ve done things I’m not proud of. I banished my sister, my own blood, for a thousand years and allowed a madstallion to curse an entire kingdom. But every time when faced against evil I never faltered—I never let it get to me. I knew what had to be done to protect my kingdom and did it with no complaints.” Celestia stood still. Her eyes were closed. “But this...” She opened her eyes. “This…” Celestia stomped on the ground, cracking it. A myriad of cracks spread out in every direction. The cracks cut through the ground and leaked lava. Everypony huddled against the wall, cowering in fear. Celestia stood unphased. “This is where I draw the line.”

The temperature in the room doubled. Everypony’s sweat from the heat mixed with their preexisting sweat from fear. The sunlight entering the room became so intense that it was blinding. “I’ve tried to be a fair ruler, a just ruler,” Celestia said. “I gave everypony a chance, no matter what the crime. I even allowed Discord to be reformed. And this is how my subjects repay me? With such blatant disrespect?” The ground shook. It was as if the entire planet was being ripped apart. “It’s time for a change. And the criminal responsible for all this will be my first example.”

Celestia’s eyes glowed red and her mane and tail transformed into a red and blue flame. “I’ll banish them for a thousand years. No. One million years,” she screamed. Her voice cracked the walls and shattered the windows. “In the sun too where they can roast and think about what they did.”

Dash nearly fainted. One million years. Sun. ROAST. This was beyond anything she could’ve imagined. Celestia had finally reached her breaking point, and the first pony she wanted to break was Dash.

Twilight teleported to Celestia. She caressed her. “Don’t worry Princess. It’ll be alright. I promise you whoever did this won’t get away with it."

The ground stopped shaking and the sun returned to its normal intensity. Twilight kept on caressing Celestia. The temperature went back to normal. Celestia smiled and her flames disappeared. “You’re right. This criminal can’t hide forever. It’s only a matter of time before they are caught.”

Celestia walked to the exit of the room. “Until then I will be staying here.” She turned to Pinkie. “I hope this won’t be a problem.”

“Of course not,” Pinkie said. Compared to the others who were still in shock from Celestia’s tantrum Pinkie was upbeat and as jumpy as usual. “We can even be baking buddies. You’ll be able to eat all the cake you want.”

Celestia laughed. It was obvious to everypony except Pinkie that it was fake. Celestia walked out of the room. Twilight followed her.

With Celestia out of the room everypony took a sigh of relief and ran towards each other. Rarity, Fluttershy and Applejack all huddled into a circle. “Well if that wasn’t frightening then I don’t know what is,” Rarity said.

“Tell me about it. Poor Princess Celestia. Look at what this has done to her,” Fluttershy said.

“Can you blame her?” Rarity said. “She has every right to be mad. Why if that were me I wouldn’t rest until the scum behind this was personally dealt with.” She turned to Applejack, who looked as if she was about to have a panic attack. Applejack shook and had sweat dripping from every part of her body. “What do you think Applejack?” Rarity said.

“Of course I agree with ya Rarity,” Applejack said. She laughed and looked away. “Why wouldn’t I? Cuz I do. Agree with you, that is.”

Dash was still pinned against the wall. Coming in she expected Celestia to be mad but this was just overkill. Celestia words were stuck inside Dash, haunting her, and reminded her of just how bucked she was. She tried to control her breathing. “Okay. Maybe I still have a shot?” she said. Rarity, Fluttershy and Applejack were still busy talking. “Nopony knows it’s me.” Dash stood tall. “And they won’t know. I mean, there’s no proof. So how would they?” And besides, the only witnesses had cake all over their faces.” She chuckled. “Phew. I knew I was worried for nothing. Ha. Like I’d ever get caught.”

Dash turned to her friends. Rarity and Fluttershy were in what looked like a heated discussion with Applejack slowly walking backwards out of the huddle. When Applejack was a foot away she ran full speed towards and out the window. Rarity and Fluttershy were still talking and didn’t notice. Dash scratched her mane. “I wonder what’s up with her. She sure has been acting weird,” Dash said. “But I better take her lead.” Dash looked around. The coast was clear and Rarity and Fluttershy were still lost in their own little world. Dash tiptoed to and out of the window.

“Now to put this whole mess behind me,” Dash said. She ran away from Sugarcube Corner at full speed.

“Hi ya Dash.”

Pinkie popped out of a bush. Dash collapsed to the ground from shock. She shook her head. “Hey. What’s the big idea?” Dash said. She got up. “I mean it’s not like you scared me or anything, but still.” As Dash shook the dust out of her hair a thought popped into her head. “Wait a minute…” Pinkie was next to her, a.k.a. the pony who was responsible for this whole mess.

Dash near rainboomed towards Pinkie, pressing her face against hers. “Pinkie Pie,” Dash yelled.

“Yep. That’s me,” Pinkie said, laughing.

Dash shook Pinkie. “Where did you go? Where Pinkie? Where?” She continued to shake her.

“What do you mean?” Pinkie said. Her voice became softer. “I was right here. Or…at least I think I was?” She went into a thinker’s pose.

“The east path.” Dash shook her again. “I told you to take the east path. Why weren’t you there?”

“Yes I was,” Pinkie said. Dash took a step back. She thought she was going crazy. “I was underneath it. I mean why go on top of a road over hills and who knows what when you can just dig underneath it. I’m surprised I didn’t think of it sooner.”

Dash froze. Living in the same town as Pinkie for most of her life she had gotten used to Pinkie’s ways and pinkieness, for lack of a better word. This though was something even further beyond, a new level even for Pinkie. “What?” Dash screamed. She shook Pinkie violently. “Why Pinkie? Why do you have to be so random?”

Pinkie enjoyed the shaking and was even happier by the end of it. She shook her head. "What's wrong? You should be happy. I mean after all, isn't this what you wanted?" Pinkie said. Dash looked on with an uneasy feeling. "You told me to go to the east path because it was quicker. That was the reason, right?" Pinkie walked out of the bush and around her friend in a circle. Her voice was different. It lacked its trademark innocent and bubbly tone. "And besides, it's not like you're the prankster. I mean, you telling me to go to the east path-- the exact spot where the cake was--I'm sure that's just one big cawinkidink."

Dash's heart skipped a beat. She kept telling herself that this was just some sort of sick dream, but it wasn't working. "So relax Dash," Pinkie said, bouncing around. "You got nothing to worry about. Not. A. Single. Thing." She bounced towards Dash, giving her the usual Pinkie smile. Dash walked backwards, right into a wall. Pinkie pressed her face against Dash's. Her piercing eyes were the only thing in Dash's field of vision. Pinkie's eyes stayed on Dash for what felt like an eternity.

"Bye," Pinkie said in her original voice. She turned around and bounced away. Dash separated herself from the wall. She shook and was in even more disbelief than during the aftermath of the prank.

“She knows…” Dash stuttered.

“Knows what?”

Dash’s heart stopped. There was no mistaking that voice. She turned around.

Twilight stood beside her, pissed beyond belief.

Author's Note

Hope you all liked the story :twilightsmile:

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Mind Games

“N-Nothing. She doesn’t know anything,” Dash said. She tried not to look at Twilight. “I mean why would she? Not that Pinkie’s dumb or anything.” She chuckled and put up a fake smile.

“Don’t play dumb with me Dash. Not this time,” Twilight said. She walked closer to Dash, still giving a death stare. “Don’t think I’m not on to you. I know all about what you were doing this morning.”

That was the sentence Dash feared. She paused for a second. “Y-Yeah...and what was that?” Dash said.

“What you always do when you’re with Pinkie,” Twilight said. She raised her voice. “You were pranking. Not like that isn’t common knowledge by now though.”

“Yeah?” Dash screamed. She searched the deepest parts of her brain for a defense. Surely there was a way out of this? She had to think of something fast—even a clever comeback would’ve been good enough.

“You…got any proof?” Dash said. She facehoofed at her own retort.

Twilight shook her head. Her horn glowed and a newspaper appeared on top of her out of thin air. She held it up with her magic and brought it closer to Dash. The front page read: “Local Pranksters Replace Mayor’s Mane Dye with Eel Potion. Record Broken as Mayor is Only Pranked Eight Times This Week,” followed by a picture of Dash and Pinkie running away from two stallions in security uniforms. "That proof enough for you?" Dash knocked the paper to the ground with her wing.

“So I was pranking? So what? That doesn’t automatically make me the one who pranked Princess Celestia,” she said.

Twilight smiled menacingly. “Alright. I'll play your game,” A table poofed next to them, and Dash found herself sitting on a chair.

“What the?” Dash said. The ground rumbled and black energy walls came up out of the ground in every direction. The walls enclosed the two ponies. A final wall on top trapped them in darkness. A single light turned on from the ceiling. It wasn’t that bright, but now in total darkness it may as well have been the sun itself for Dash. A purple hoof directed it at her.

A purple aura surrounded Dash’s chair. The chair streaked towards the table, pressing her stomach against it. Hoofsteps came from behind her. Twilight walked around the table with a serious yet emotionless expression on her face. She kept her eyes in front of her, staring at nothing in particular, and away from Dash. “Alright, I’ll start with an easy one. Explain why you were so late to Sugarcube Corner.”

Dash didn’t struggle or try to escape. “I already told you; I was training. I’m an athlete; it’s what I do.”

Twilight laughed. “How convenient. Especially after I came to remind you and Pinkie of how late you two were.” She stopped beside Dash and brought her face closer to hers. “But I guess training’s just that important to you.”

Dash sat unable to respond. It was obvious Twilight was being sarcastic, but it wasn’t like Dash had any response or comeback to use against her. All she could do was play Twilight’s game and try to wake up from this never ending nightmare. Dash opened her mouth. “…Ye-.”

Twilight rushed towards the table. Her friend's head shot back. “Then why weren’t you sweating or even a little out of breath when you finally came? I thought training is supposed to be hard,” Twilight said.

Dash’s mind went into overdrive. “It was…an active recovery workout.” She smiled. “Yeah, active recovery. Not like you would know what that is though.” Dash sat back and relaxed. Twilight was all but done for.

Twilight stood still for a moment. She cleared her throat. “Active recovery: Noun. Exercise of a diminished intensity used to facilitate lactate and metabolic waste removal by removal by maintaining blood flow in muscles during recovery. Synonyms: Cool down, tapering off.”

Dash’s jaw dropped. It was over. There really was no way for her to win. Twilight was simply unbeatable.

Dash put her head down and didn’t even try to think of a response. It was pointless. And if even if she did and through some miracle beat Twilight, Pinkie still knew everything. “Pinkie…” Dash said to herself. A light bulb went off in her head. “Pinkie Pie,” she screamed. “It could’ve been her. She was with me all morning. And it’s not like I’m the only pony who loves a good prank you know.” Dash smiled and waited for Twilight’s response.

“Not likely,” Twilight said. Dash’s smile came crashing down. “The prank in question doesn’t strike me as something Pinkie would do. And besides, if it was her she probably would’ve confessed by now. We all know how emotional she can get.”

“Like you would know,” Dash said to herself.

“Based on all the available evidence I can only conclude that the most likely culprit is YOU,” Twilight said, pointing at Dash. "Now you can either admit it or keep on playing, either way's fine by me." She stepped closer, her hoof still up. "Just know that if you do confess though I will defend you and try to get your punishment reduced. And no, this is nothing like what Fluttershy did with Philomena."

Dash shook in her chair. Twilight’s hoof was like a knife pointed at her face. She powered up her brain. There had to have been something she could say, could do, to save herself. She threw away every counterargument she thought of—if she could rip them apart then Twilight would have no problem doing the same. If there was one thing Dash was sure of it was that she wasn’t going to win this with logic and reason.

Dash got up. She walked up to within an inch of Twilight’s face and stood still without saying a word. Twilight’s face was the only thing in her field of vision and hers the only thing in Twilight’s. She took a deep breath. “Look Twilight, I don’t care if you believe me or not. I’m innocent this time, no matter what the evidence says, and if you were really my friend you’d trust me. So, are you my friend? Or not?” She kept her gaze at Twilight and crossed her hooves.

Twilight's serious face disappeared. She once again looked like the pony Dash considered her friend. "Okay. I believe you," Twilight said in her normal voice. She put her head down and frowned. "Sorry for blaming you so quickly. Shows what kind of friend I am." The energy walls dissipated into a glowing dust. The table and chair vanished.

Dash was on the verge of rainbooming with joy. She had won. It was finally over.

She raised her hooves and flew up. "Score one for Dash," she said to herself. Twilight faced the other way, her head still down. Dash shot to her and wrapped her hoof around her friend. She smiled, as if the whole situation had just been a bad dream from years ago. "Ah forget about it. We all make mistakes. We're still cool."

Twilight picked up her head. "You're right." She put on a confident smile, one Dash hadn't seen since the last time they all fought a villain. "You not being the criminal just makes my job all the more easier since I now have a major suspect crossed out. And I'd rather not have you be the one I have to arrest." She chuckled.

"J-Job?"

"Oh yeah, I didn't tell you." Twilight closed her eyes and smiled. "Princess Celestia made me in charge of the investigation to find the criminal. Isn't that great?"

Dash froze. The game was still on.

Author's Note

Hope you all liked the story :twilightsmile:

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The Two Best Friends Anypony Could Ask For

Dash flew over Ponyville at full speed, the buildings below just a blur and impossible to differentiate. The sun hung high in the sky and reflected off her rainbow trail. She titled her head down towards the city below and grunted. “I wish Daring Do wrote a book about this. At least then I’d know what to do.” She sighed. “I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I gotta tell somepony the truth. I need help.”

Dash slowed down and flew over a crowd of ponies congregating near town hall. She remembered her friends’ faces from Sugarcube Corner. They were so mad they were unrecognizable. Telling the truth meant possibly destroying every friendship she had, but not doing so meant roasting in the sun for a million years plus losing her friends. Dash knew what she had to do, but still battled in her head. After all, was a life without her friends any worse than a fiery dungeon?

“I mean they all can’t be that mad,” she said. “Sure they want me to roast in the sun, but that’s only cuz they don’t know it’s me. I’m sure once I tell them the truth they’ll all forgive me and be dying to help me. They have to. I am their friend after all.”

Dash dove down and skimmed the roofs of the buildings. The crowd below all held up pitchforks, torches and other mob accessories. They screamed and looked furious, as if they themselves had been the victim of the prank. On the buildings and trees were signs and posters with pictures of Princess Celestia crying with cake gunk all over her face, and below the pictures slogans like, “Never Forget” and “The Pony Who Did This: A Traitor to Us All."

“I better find somepony fast," Dash said, rushing out of the area. “Who should I go to first? Twilight’s obviously out, and it didn’t seem like Pinkie was in a helping mood either. I wonder what’s gotten into her? Did the prank make her that mad?" Her heart pounded faster. "Is she really that upset with me?” Dash shook her head and took a deep breath. This was not the time to be negative and wuss out.

“Scootaloo would never leave me, but then again it’s not like she can do anything. The Wonderbolts maybe? Nah. We’re close but not that close.” Dash flew up to the clouds. “Guess Rarity, Fluttershy and AJ are all I have left.” Sweet Apple Acres was in front of her, far off in the distance, and from what little she could see of it somepony was in the fields hard at work. Dash readied her wings, “Alright Applejack. Guess you’re it,” and blasted off.

Dash hovered over Sweet Apple Acres with Applejack bucking apples below her, oblivious to her presence. She shook her head, still up above, and held in her laughter. “She’ll figure it out eventually.” She crossed her hooves and rested on the air, watching her friend do her work.

A minute passed, far too much time for Dash. She faked coughed. Applejack looked up and froze with her hoof still on the tree. An apple dropped on her head, but she didn’t react. Her mouth dropped open and her eyes shot to twice their normal size. Dash chuckled. “What? No hey or howdy partner?”

Applejack turned around and ran away from Dash at what had to have been full speed. Dash just hovered and watched as Applejack disappeared into the fields. “What is with everypony today?” She flew after Applejack.

From the path Applejack took it was clear she was headed towards the barn. “Oh no you don’t,” Dash said. She cut through the trees, knocking every apple to the ground. Applejack was now close to the barn, only a few feet away. Dash sped up and cut in front of her. “Where do you think you’re going?” Applejack moved from side to side, trying to cut in front of the Pegasus blocking her, but it was useless. Dash stood firm and with her wings erect.

“I uh…need more buckets,” Applejack said, still trying to cut in front of Dash. She laughed. “Gotta put those apples somewhere ya know.”

Dash was not amused. “That’s the best you got? Really?” She stared at Applejack with a blank face. Applejack smiled, obviously faking it. “Alright, I’ll play along. So why then did you only run when you saw me?” She jumped towards Applejack. “Huh?” Dash felt like Twilight.

“Cuz…well uh…” Applejack's tilted her now sweaty face away. “There’s a reason for that…” She tackled Dash and made a run for the barn. “And I’ll get back to you when I think of it.” Dash got up and charged at her target, knocking her to the ground.

“What’s wrong with you? You’ve been acting weird all day,” Dash said. Applejack struggled, trying to break free, but Dash refused to budge. Applejack looked around. None of the other Apples were out, leaving Dash and her alone, staring at each other in silence. “So, what is it?” Dash said.

Applejack sighed. “Alright. I’ll tell ya.” Dash stepped back. Applejack got up and turned around. “The truth is… I liked the prank.”

Dash stepped towards her, smiling. “You mean, you actually thought it was funny?”

“Funny?” Applejack turned around, her head shaking and eyes red. “It was hilarious! I ain’t ever seen anything so funny.”

“Really!?” Dash screamed. “But wait…I still don’t get why you acted so weird.”

“Don’t you get it?” Applejack said, catching her breath. “I wanted to laugh. I wanted to laugh so much, but I couldn’t be disrespectful, especially in front of the Princess. And then, then Princess Celestia had that hissy fit, and everypony started talkin about how awful the prank was and expected me to do the same.” She started panting. “I couldn’t just keep lyin like that. I had to get outta there.” Applejack collapsed to the ground and put her hooves together, still shaking. “Oh please don’t tell anypony else. Celestia knows what they’ll think of me.”

Dash’s smile grew bigger by the second. Any doubts she had to whether or not Applejack would help her were gone. After hours of despair and paranoia, her nightmare was finally over. Dash walked to her savior and caressed her back. “There there. Nopony’ll find out as long as I’m around. You can count on it. I am the Element of loyalty after all.” She helped her up. Applejack faced Dash and smiled. They embraced.

“Thanks Dash. I knew I could count on you,” Applejack said. Dash smiled menacingly.

“So, you think the prankster is funny huh?”

Applejack broke free from Dash. “Whoa there missy. I said I thought the prank was funny. Big difference there. No way I’m calling some two timing backstabber funny. The criminal who did this deserves every punishment they get."

Dash walked around her, still smiling. “But you said the prank was, and I quote ‘hilarious.’”

“Yeah... And?”

“And since the point of a prank is to be funny, that means the prankster did a good job—no, a great job—and is thus funny. Wouldn’t you agree?” Dash said.

Applejack paused. “Well…yeah. I guess you’re right. The criminal is funny. But I don’t get-”

“Right!” Dash inched closer to Applejack, still circling around her. “So with that said, if the prankster was, oh I don’t know…standing right in front of you, what would you say to them?”

Applejack stomped the ground. “I’d call em a varmint and tell em to turn themselves in right this second.”

Dash stopped beside Applejack, putting her hoof over her body. “But Applejack, I thought you said the prankster was funny? Sure Princess Celestia got pranked, and that is a tragedy, but is it really worth roasting a pony over? After all, all they wanted to do was make you laugh.”

Applejack put her head down and frowned. “I guess Princess Celestia’s punishment is a tad harsh. The prankster did just wanna make us laugh. Nuthin wrong with that.”

“Exactly!” Dash flew up in joy and hovered over her potential savior. “The prankster’s the victim here.” She stared at Applejack face, trying to gauge her reaction. Applejack still frowned. It was time for Dash to make her move. “Now that we agree, what would happen if…let’s say the prankster asked you to help them?” Dash closed her eyes and waited for a response.

For a few seconds the area fell silent. “Help them? Why would I help them?” Applejack yelled. She froze, staring at nothing at particular. Her voice softened. “That’s a good question actually. Would I help em?”

The suspense ate away at Dash. A minute passed and Applejack still hadn’t produced an answer. Dash grunted. “What if I was the prankster!?” She gasped, realizing what she had just said, and covered her mouth with her hooves.

“Oh that’s just hooey,” Applejack said. “Why would it be…?” She turned around and glared at Dash. “YOU…”

Dash chuckled nervously. Applejack walked towards her, still glaring. “Is there something you wanna tell me RD?” Dash walked backwards, right into a tree. She was trapped. “What’s the point of all these questions anyway? Cuz they sound mighty suspicious to me.”

Dash laughed and shook so hard that the tree behind her vibrated. “Point? What point? Why does there need to be a point?” Applejack’s face was less than an inch away from Dash’s. “What, I can’t ask a friend questions? Is that so weird? Cuz it’s not. It’s a totally normal thing to do.”

Applejack brought her head back, still glaring at Dash. “I hope that’s the truth. For your sake. Even I got limits to what kind of ponies are worth helping.” She turned around and walked away. Dash’s heartbeat returned to normal. She grunted and kicked the tree behind her with full force.

“When am I gonna catch a break?” An apple hit her head, but she ignored it. The nightmare, it seemed, was far from over.

Dash touched down in front of Carousel Boutique, an area now so deserted and quiet that the movement of insects and sound of leaves falling was audible. No matter which direction she turned there wasn’t a pony to be seen. The buildings and ground were covered with the posters of Princess Celestia from the mob meeting near town hall, and a myriad of posters flowed in the air, sticking to and detaching from Dash’s body and face. She shook them off. Carousel Boutique in particular was so covered that its entire exterior was one giant collage of the Princess’s face. Dash stood still in the breeze and faced the building. “Oh what’s the point? Rarity’s so mad she’ll probably just try to turn me in herself if I tell her. And besides, she’s probably at that thing with every other pony.” She turned around. “I might as well just go and try my luck with Fluttershy.”

Dash prepared to fly off, but stopped herself. She relaxed her wings and took a deep breath. “Remember the plan Dash. Rarity’s your friend.” She closed her eyes. “She’ll help you. She's gotta." Dash opened her eyes and stood tall with a renewed sense of confidence. Rarity was going to help her, whether she wanted to or not. Dash walked to the front door and tapped it, only to have it open all the way by itself.

What had once been a beacon of cleanliness and organization was now a disaster zone. Clothes, broken pottery, pictures, dishes, dirt—the floor was covered with things Dash couldn’t even recognize and didn't want to. Every room in view was like this, each messier than the last. What made this scene all the more jarring was that this was Rarity’ s home, the pony who’d flip out at the mere mention of a single grain of dirt within ten miles of her. “Uh…Rarity? You home?” Dash yelled. Her voice echoed. There was no response.

Dash continued walking. There were noises coming from upstairs, screams and squeaks mostly. Dash followed them and ended up in front of the staircase. The noises were now louder. She traveled up the staircase. “That’s it. You’ve finally lost it Rarity. I told you it would happen. I’m moving out.” It was Sweetie Belle. She walked down the staircase with a single twitching eye and a face that just screamed I am going to kill you. Sweetie Belle pointed her hoof at Dash. “Congratulations. You’re my new sister. From now on I’m living with you. See you at dinner.” She continued walking down the stairs, and was gone.

“Okay…” Dash said. There were still noises coming from upstairs. It had to have been Rarity. Dash continued up to the second floor and followed them to their epicenter, Rarity’s bedroom. She slowly opened the door.

The room was in an even worse state than the first floor. Everything was everywhere and any object that could be broken was on the floor in pieces. The mirror was somehow stuck to the ceiling and every piece of fabric was ripped to shreds. Even the bed was broken and looked like it had been karate chopped in half. It was as if a tornado had blown through, and in the middle of it all, running around the room, was Rarity.

She went from item to item, opening every closet, turning over piece of whatever from the floor and even ripping open a pillow with her teeth. She moved around so fast that it had to have been teleportation, yet her horn never glowed. “Please don’t tell me I’ve lost it,” she said with a grunt. “It has to be here somewhere.” Dash just stood and watched, trying to make sense of the situation.

“Hey Rarity...everything okay up there?”

Rarity turned her head around so fast it was a miracle it didn’t just snap right off. “Dash darling!” She shot towards Dash and held her hoof. “You came just in time.”

“Just in time?” Dash said.

Rarity pulled Dash in closer. “Why yes. I’ve been trying to get ready all morning. Ever since I came back from Sugarcube Corner in fact.” She let go of Dash and went back to checking every atom in the room.

Dash scratched her head. “Look, I have no idea-.”

“I did have Sweetie Belle, but of course all she did was complain. She even threatened to move out.” Rarity stomped the floor. “The nerve of some ponies, really. And to think that she’s my sister. It’s no wonder her real parents gave her away.”

Dash’s jaw dropped. “Say what?”

Rarity dived into a closet and threw everything in it behind her. “Oh right. Could you be a dear and help me find my pony tracker? Check inside my bed.”

“Those exist?” Dash said, looking even more confused.

Rarity turned towards Dash, still throwing things out of the closet, and looked at her like she was an idiot. “Well obviously. It’s black and has two antennas sticking out of it. Impossible to miss.” She stopped throwing things. “Oh and do watch out for splinters. Probably wasn’t the best idea to kick open my bed, but drastic times do call for drastic measures.”

Dash walked to the bed, or at least what was left of it. Jagged pieces of wood shot out in every direction, each sharp enough to cut through Dash like paper. Rarity went back to pillaging the closet. Dash faced the bed in silence. “Might as well play along.” She stuck her hoof in between the pieces of wood and searched, making sure to move as slow as possible. A minute passed. A hard rectangular object sat at the end of the wreckage. Dash stuck her hoof in deeper and pulled it out. She shook the splinters out of her hoof and waited for it to stop beating red.

The object was a black scanner with a sonar like screen and two retractable antennas. The antennas popped out. Dash stared at it with a sense of disbelief. “She wasn’t kidding.” She turned towards Rarity. “I…think I found it.”

Rarity gasped and ran to Dash, knocking the object out of her. “Yes. Yes. You found it.” She jumped up and down and held up the object with her magic, squeeing all the while. “Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU.” Dash chuckled from the awkwardness. Rarity teleported to the wall on the other side of the room. “Oh what a relief. After all this time I can finally begin.”

Dash grunted. “Begin wha-?”

“I thought I would never get to it,” Rarity said. Her horn glowed. “I must repay you for this. No buts.”

“Thanks but can you first tell me-?”

“And I am being sincere. I know what. I’ll make you a brand new one of a kind dress. No, two,” Rarity said. Dash shook and leaked steam from her snout. “Oh it’ll be so much fun for the both of us. Don’t you think?”

“Rarity!” Dash screamed. The room shook. Dash’s breathing was so hard that her chest shot out several inches. She lowered her voice. “I just wanna know what’s going on.”

Rarity smiled. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Dash silenced the voices in her head now telling her to “Just do it.”

The wall behind Rarity glowed and disappeared, revealing behind it a mess of things Dash had to look twice at to make sure she wasn’t hallucinating. There were binoculars, magnifying glasses, traps, hoofcuffs, and objects that looked like the pony tracker, among other things. In the center, and by far the largest thing there, was a map of Ponyville down to every building and road. On each building was a picture, name and description of everypony that lived or worked there. Rarity’s smile grew as she looked at it. Dash was at a loss for words and readied her wings for an escape. “Should I be worried?” she said.

“Not you. The criminal on the other hoof…” Rarity laughed with an evil tone. “Ever since learning about the prank and seeing what’s become of poor Princess Celestia, I knew I had to act. Sure Twilight’s leading the official investigation, and I do wish her the best of luck, but I frankly cannot wait that long. I’m taking action now.” She stood tall and stomped the floor. “The criminal thinks they’re a sneaky one, but they can’t begin to understand what I’m capable of. I’m taking matters into my own hooves Dash. I’m going to find this excuse of a pony and show them the true meaning of justice. And you better believe that I’m prepared to go to any length to do so.”

Dash shook. “Any length…?”

Another part of the wall glowed and disappeared. An array of weapons from nunchucks to axes, swords the size of an alicorn and even an array of cannons revealed itself. There was even a whip made of gems. Next to the weapons was a collection of armor and specially designed suits ranging from underwater equipment and a tunneling outfit all the way to a fully functional battle suit equipped with things that made the swords seem filly friendly. Dash just went with it. She’d realized by now that the less she reacted and just accepted what the nightmare threw at her, the better it’d be for her psyche. And to think that all this started over a cake.

Rarity stood in front of the weapons and posed. “Like I said. Any length.”

“B-B-B. How did you even get these?” Dash said.

“Get these? Why that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. It’s not like dresses are the only thing I know how to make,” Rarity said.

Dash didn’t respond and just stared at the endless supply of weaponry all designed for the single purpose of taking her out. She didn’t know who the bigger threat was—Rarity, or Princess Celesita. Any one of these weapons was enough to do her in, and that was just what Rarity had shown her. Who knew what else she was hiding in another part of the wall?

Rarity charged at Dash and put her hoof around her body. She was now in camo and wore a red bandanna around her head, with her face covered in black, red and green war paint. “So what do you say Dash?” She put an ax over her shoulder. “How about you and I find this scum and show them what happens when you mess with our Princess?”

Dash tried to break free. “I would…really. But I got things to do. You understand. Right?”

Rarity kept her hold on Dash. “Oh but you must.” She tightened her hold. “Tell me you’ll join me. Tell me!” she screamed.

Dash turned her face away from Rarity’s and looked around the room. Surely there was something she could’ve used or said to escape. There was nothing. She looked out the window and saw a unicorn stallion and mare walking together on the street. An idea popped into Dash’s head. She pointed at them. “Look. Sweetie Belle’s real parents here to take her back.”

Rarity let go of Dash and teleported to the window with a smile that reached all the way up to her eyes. “Where!" She pressed her face against the window.

Dash tiptoed out of the room. “At least I still got Fluttershy.” She flew through and out of the building. “She’d never let me down.”

Dash laughed at her own stupidity.

Author's Note

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The Power of Hamsters

Dash flew towards the front door of Fluttershy’s cottage, charging faster the closer she got. She blasted through the door, shattering it into a million pieces, and touched down in the main room. “Fluttershy! Fluttershy! You here?” She turned her head in every direction. Fluttershy stood in the corner of the room and shook, no doubt still in shock from the explosion. Next to her was some woodland critter nopony except her knew or cared about. Dash charged towards her, pressing her face against Fluttershy's.

“Oh my... Is something wrong?” Fluttershy said.

Dash pressed her face harder. “Yes. Everything!” She detached from Fluttershy and walked from side to side in front of her. “You can’t imagine the day I’ve had. I’m talking about a day so bad it should be illegal. But it’s doesn’t matter now. Cuz I have you.” Dash faced her now only friend and smiled. “I need your help Fluttershy. I don’t really know what you can do…but I still need it.”

Fluttershy put her hoof on Dash. “Of course I’ll help you. You don’t have to ask me.” Her and Dash shared a warming smile. “What is it?”

“Alright…” Dash gulped. “But first you gotta promise me something.”

“Anything,” Fluttershy said.

Dash looked Fluttershy right in the eye. “Promise me you won’t tell anypony—I mean Twilight, Princess Celestia, Angel, the trees, whatever—what I’m about to tell you, under any circumstances. I mean even if your life was in danger and the fate of all Equestria rested on you telling what I’m about to say, you won’t.” She put her hooves of Fluttershy and shook her. “Can you promise me that?”

Fluttershy smiled. “Is that all? Don’t worry. I won’t tell a single soul. I promise.” Dash didn’t react. Her face stayed the same and she kept her hooves right where they were. Fluttershy grunted. “I have to say it don’t I?” Dash smiled and nodded. Fluttershy rolled her eyes and sighed. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. Happy?”

It was now official. Dash flew up and circled around in the air. “Yes. Woohoo. You have no idea.” She pulled out and performed a bunch of gloats and poses she kept in reserve for when she eventually made captain of the Wonderbolts. Fluttershy chuckled from the theatrics. “It’s finally over. I win! You ready Fluttershy? And remember, you Pinkie promised to help me.” Fluttershy nodded. Dash took a deep breath. “The truth is-.”

The sound of approaching hoofsteps came from outside the building. “Hey there Fluttershy.”

It was Twilight. Within seconds she appeared in front of what was left of the front door, followed by dozens of animals and critters Dash could recognize from Fluttershy's picnics and such. Twilight's back was covered by a bag almost as big as she was, labeled Evidence. She smiled. It'd been a while since Dash had seen her this happy. "I...hope I'm not interrupting anything," Twilight said, looking at the wreckage.

"Well...I am sort of busy with Rainbow Dash," Fluttershy said. She embraced the pack of animals that ran to her.

Twilight gave a warm smile to Dash and turned to Flutters. "Sorry, but whatever it is you two are doing will have to wait. It's urgent."

Fluttershy ran to her. "Really? What it is?"

"It's about the investigation. I need more of your animals, if that's okay with you obviously," Twilight said. She stood tall to keep her bag from falling forward.

"Of course it's okay. But why do you need more?" Fluttershy picked up a hamster and held it in front of Twilight. It showed off its adorable little eyes. "Did they not do a good job? Because if you want me to train them some more I'm always available and-."

"Calm down." Twilight chuckled. "They're actually doing better than expected." She rubbed her nose with the hamster's. "That's why I want more of them."

"Okay, somepony help me out here." Dash scratched her mane. "Cuz I'm not getting how a bunch of hamsters can help with anything."

Twilight chuckled, "Not surprised," and turned around to her critters. "I use the critters to help find evidence I otherwise wouldn't be able to find. You'd be surprised by what a 'bunch of hamsters' can do." A rat ran into the building carrying a piece of metal covered in dirt and frosting. It was a part of Dash's remote--there was no denying it. The rat growled at Dash and showed off its teeth. Twilight took the piece of metal with her magic and put it in a plastic bad inside of her evidence bag. "Like I said. You'd be surprised."

Dash kept calm. Fluttershy had Pinkie promised her after all, the most official of all agreements. There was nothing Twilight could do to take that away from her. She still had the upper hoof.

"How is the investigation going anyway? I mean I know it's only been a few hours, but I still thought I'd ask," Fluttershy said.

"Very well." Twilight smiled with confidence. "I have more evidence than I know what to do with, and I'm only getting more. I couldn't dream of a stronger case."

"Really!?" Fluttershy and Dash screamed in unison. Fluttershy leaped forward smiling. Dash felt like screaming and looked around for the nearest object to slam her head against. The solid earth ceiling was far too soft.

"Yep," Twilight said joyously, facing Dash. "My case is so fool proof there's nothing the criminal can do now. They might as well just turn themselves in right now." She turned to Fluttershy. "It doesn't matter who helps them. Justice is coming to them no matter what."

"I'm so happy to hear that. I never could've imagined you'd do it so fast. Princess Celestia will be so happy," Fluttershy said. She turned to Dash. "You hear that? Isn't it just wonderful?"

Twilight walked towards Dash, still smiling. "Yeah Dash. You should be happier."

RD silenced the negative thoughts trying to pop out of her brain and pushed out here chest to keep up her usual appearance. She forced a smile and nodded. "Of course I'm happy. I just don't wanna get excited over nothing, that's all...When do you think you'll get them?"

"It shouldn't be long now until I make an arrest," Twilight said. Her voice dropped. "That's if the mob doesn't get to them first."

"Mob? What mob?" Dash rushed outside and faced Ponyville. Her ears dropped. "Well there goes my plans."

All of Ponyville was on the move. A horde of ponies swept through the town, with torches, pitch forks and other accessories in hoof. They went from building to building, interrogating and accusing every non-mobster in sight. Ponies on platforms gave speeches and posters with Princess Celestia's face rained from the armada of pegasi above the clouds. An effigy of a pony in a bandit outfit was paraded through the streets and beaten, burned, gouged and every other verb you can think of. A whole section of the town was even on fire.

Dash grunted. "What was the point of even coming here?" she said to herself. She looked up at the sky and sighed. "Guess I got no choice now. Only one option left."

Fluttershy walked out of the house, facing away from the carnage in front of her. "You're leaving already? But you didn't even tell me what you needed help with."

Dash readied her wings. "It's too late for help. And besides, it's only a matter of time before Rarity nukes the town or something."

Fluttershy paused. "What?"

"Have a good one." Dash flew off into the sky. Destination: Bye Bye Equestria.

Author's Note

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At Least She Tried

Dash flew away from Ponyville as fast as she could, trying to outrun the tower of smoke punching into the sky behind her. She was now several miles away from the town and could still hear the roars and shouts of the rioters, which scary enough got louder the farther she got. She cleared her head of the noise though and headed towards a mountain range, ready for her new life, wherever it may be. I really wish I knew where I was going, she thought, now over the range. She looked around and realized that it all looked the same to her. Geography never was her strong point, but the current path would have to do as stopping and asking for directions at this point was not an option. Ponyville was still too close for comfort.

I guess I could always live with the griffons. Gilda's got a pretty cool place, and she did say she wanted me back as a friend. Gilda it is then. Dash continued flying over the mountains, still lost, and took one final look at her old home. As sad as she was, no tears left her eyes, as no pain in the world could compare to a million years in the sun-- if that still was Celestia's punishment. For all Dash knew it could've been a billion now, or whatever number came next. "Good luck trying to catch me, suckers!" Dash screamed at the top of her lungs, watching the town and ponies she once loved fade into the background.

Dash flew uninterrupted on her path for the next few minutes, only slowing down when the sound of flapping came from behind her. "Huh?" She turned her head around, only to find nopony there.

Another flap came a second later. Dash looked back again, once again finding nopony behind her. "Dumb birds." She returned her eyes to the front, where she found a pegasus royal guard flying backwards a foot in front of her.

"Whoa!" Dash screamed with her head shooting back. She chuckled from how surprised she was. "Phew. You almost scared me there. So, you here to tell me which way I'm going or what?"

The guard glared at her with the usual ubiquitous, serious face they all seemed to have. "By royal decree I order you to stop flying at once!"

"What!? Why?" Dash said.

"Princess's orders. Nopony is allowed to leave Ponyville. Now stop!"

"But... I have to train." Dash gave an obviously nervous smile. "You might not know me, but I'm training for the Wonderbolts, and there's no way I'm stopping today's session.

The guard grabbed her hoof. "Sorry ma'am, but until the investigation's over I can't let you leave."

Dash growled and freed herself from the guard's hold. "I said no!" She set her sights on the far side of the mountain range, at the sea that began when it ended, and tensed her wings. She blasted off towards her target, sending the guard flying back and down from her explosive acceleration.

"Get her before she escapes!" he screamed, falling through the air into the mountainous forest below.

The trees below all began shaking, vibrating like an earthquake was happening. Dash looked down, and watched as dozens of pegasi royal guards shot into the air, all with the same target-- her.

"Uh oh!" Dash increased her speed and flew away. More shot out in front and under her though, filling the sky around her. A pack steadied their flight to her level.

"Stop and turn around at once! This is an order!" a guard yelled.

Dash continued on without responding and kept her eyes at the target, knowing full well it was still miles away.

The swarm around her grew closer. "Stop immediately! This is your last warning."

"Get away!" Dash yelled, after a scream. She bumped herself into a guard to her side, sending him hurdling to the ground along with every guard in his path.

"That's it. Get her!"

The swarm of pegasi dissipated and divided itself into a shell around her. Dash twisted her head in every direction as fast as she could without cracking it in two, trying to keep track of the myriad of attackers around her.

A pegasus dove through the air an inch in front of her.

"Whoa!" Dash braked and shot to the side, catching her breath and trying to keep her heart from shooting out of her chest.

Another pegasus shot past her, this time flying horizontally above her so close she could've sworn their wing feathers touched. Dozens of royal guards readied themselves in the sky around her, tensing their wings like bows and launching themselves as arrows straight for their target.

A pegasi knocked into Dash from the side, sending her screaming the other way. "It didn't have to end this way," he said. Dash retook control of her body and maintained her cool as the sky around her blackened.

That's it! I gotta rainboom my way out of this. But if I do then all of Equestria will know where I'm headed... Dash growled and looked around for another solution. The mountains to the left of her lead into a narrow valley, which from the look of it was filled with enough twists and turns to confuse even her on a normal day. Perfect. Dash sped up to it, hoping as many of pursers would follow her in as possible.

True to how it looked like the valley was only wide enough for Dash to flap her wings with a margin of error of inches. The royal guards chased after her in a noodle like formation, only three to four pegasi thick at its widest. The valley led to a near ninety degree turn every few seconds, to which Dash had no trouble getting herself through, even at her speed. Many of the guards though slammed into the cliff faces during the turns or slowed down so much that they disappeared from view within an instant. Seconds later there were only a handful of pegasi still giving chase, who then muttered something to each other and flew up above the valley. They slowed down but, still kept their eyes on Dash.

"Ha! I knew there was no way you ameturs could keep up with me," Dash said, finally feeling her heart return back inside her chest. She continued on course inside the valley, keeping her speed the same, and smiled confidently. As the seconds passed the guards were still on top of the valley, forming a shell over it, and made no effort to try and get back in after Dash. What are they up to? Did they give up? That's when it hit her. The valley was getting narrower by the second, and in only a few seconds would end.

The royal guards tightened their shell over the valley, doubling its thickness. Dash switched back and forth between looking at the net covering her and the ever approaching cliff face. Stopping wasn't an option, nor was slowing down. She was too deep in to give up now. That's it! You guys asked for it!

Dash rainboomed up and out of the valley and straight into the mass of royal guards, cutting through them like they weren't even there. Whole mountains and ranges flashed by her, and the sound of her attackers faded into nothingness. She kept up her speed just to be safe and continued rainbooming for a minute after she was sure she had won. By then all trace that there were ever any ponies after her was gone, with her now in a still mountainous part of Equestria she couldn't recognize. It didn't matter though, as the sea at the end of the range was now close enough that the individual ships could be seen on it. Dash slowed down, ending her rainboom, "Yeah! Almost there. Sweet freedom, here I come!" and pushed on, smiling like she had already won.

A purple beam shot up from the ground, zipping past her.

"No..." Dash said, losing her breath.

Below her were dozens of unicorn royal guards positioned on the mountains below, with their horns glowing and pointed at Dash. "Fire!" a captain yelled. They fired a barrage of blue and purple beams and shots, all in Dash's direction. She contorted and twisted her body in every way she could as the magical bullets zoomed past her, trying to dodge the current one and anticipate the next fifty all at once. Not one shot hit her.

"More! Don't stop!" the captain yelled, himself firing a beam.

Dash began her dance again to dodge the shots, but found her wings cramping and stopping on their own. A shot hit her in the hoof and covered it with a blue aura. Dash screamed and shook her hoof, but found herself losing control over it.

"Good! Now reel her in!"

The aura pulled her hoof, and by extension her whole body, down towards the unicorns. "Ahhh. Get off!" Dash screamed, using her other hoof to peel off the aura. She used all the willpower she had and tried regaining control of her hoof, still being pulled down. At first it only moved a few inches from her command, but Dash kept on trying, clenching her jaw to the point of nearly shattering her teeth. After what felt like forever, the aura shattered and the hold on her was gone.

Dash wasted no time and sped out of the area, looking straight at the sea. Her wings were now too worn out for a rainboom and beat on their own. She didn't care though, as only a few mountains now separated her from freedom. All she needed was another minute of wingpower, and it was all over.

"Almost... there..."

Dash watched as the sea got bigger, with her smile following in suit. She stopped at the last mountain though, as frozen as the rock beneath her.

"Yep. I'm done for," she said, gulping.

An army of unicorns stood on the mountain with their horns glowing, and behind them a fleet of ships full of an army more. Dash cracked a laugh at how she ever thought she could make it. "But I just wanted to train..."

"Fire!"

Dash didn't bother dodging.

Author's Note

Hope you all liked the story :twilightsmile:

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Long Live Raindash Bow

"Let me go!"

The royal guards held Dash in place with their magic and put her down on the ground, still paralyzed, in a field on the outskirts of Ponyville. Her head wasn't held by the magical lock though, which meant that her vocal cords were still in her control.

"Just wait until I get out of this," she said, still trying to struggle her way out of the hold. "Sorry isn't gonna cut it after I'm done with you."

"Is she still of any threat, sir?" a guard asked his superior. The captain laughed at the question.

Dash shot her head back and forth, somehow thinking it'd help her escape. It hit the ground every time, to which she showed no reaction other than growling at her jailers. "Let! Me! Out!"

"What's going on here?"

Twilight ran to the scene with a now even bigger bag, examining the situation for a second, and walked to the captain. "As princess I demand this pony be freed right now," she said, stomping the ground.

The magical chains holding Dash dissipated. She glared at the captain and rushed towards him, growling.

"Don't, Dash." Twilight held her hoof in her friend's way and glared at the captain. "I got this." She walked towards him. "Can you explain why my friend was being held prisoner without my or any other pony's knowledge?"

"Just doing my job. We were told to stop anypony from leaving, and we did just that. She used force against us first, and we used the appropriate response," the captain said.

Twilight turned to her friend, still glaring. "Dash... Is this true."

"Well... yeah, but I didn't know. And I had to train; I can't do all my moves in just Ponyville," Dash said.

"Lies!" A pegasus royal guard wrapped with full body bandages pointed at her. "I told her about the law, but she kept on going anyway. Don't believe a word she says!"

Twilight shook her head. "I apologize for Rainbow Dash's behavior and ask that she be pardoned. Dash, say you're sorry too."

Dash turned her head away from the guards with an angry look. "Fine... I'm sorry. Happy?"

The royal guards looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders. They walked away from the scene, laughing amongst their whispered conversations a few feet later.

"So nopony can leave, huh?" When did that happen?" Dash said.

"Princess Celestia ordered it a few hours ago. Can't really blame her, with the criminal still at large and all. My brother's actually about to give a speech about it in town hall," Twilight turned towards Ponyville. "Want to come?"

..................................................................

All of Ponyville stood in front of town hall, which was now just a pile of burned sticks, the same as nearly every other building in view. Dash and Twilight walked up to the crowd with the sun setting behind them and took a look around to get a taste of the situation. A podium with a microphone stood in front of the remains of the once beautiful building, with a row of muscular royal guards wearing shades on each side. The muscles on them would've made Bulk Biceps jealous.

Twilight closed her eyes and took in a batch of the now clear air, smiling. "So this is it. Shining Armor should be here any minute now. It's about time they called him in for this; he still is the captain of the royal guard after all."

Dash couldn't take her eyes off the guards next to the podium and shook. They were unlike any she'd seen or heard about, and looked more like Daring Do villains than keepers of the peace. "Yeah..." she said, forcing a smile at Twilight, but still watching the guards, "Totally. They s-should've had him here from the start. W-Who knows how much closer you'd all be?"

"Truthfully though I don't really need him." Twilight rocked her bag. "Like I said before, you have no idea how close I am to closing this case. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some ponies I have to meet regarding something," she said, running away, "See you later."

Dash gulped and stepped into the crowd, making her way through it with an obvious look of guilt. She listened in on the conversation of the mass of ponies around her.

"I heard Princess Celestia's actually madder now. Can you believe that!? What the hay's she gonna do to the criminal now?" one mare said to a stallion beside her.

"You hear about the riots in Manehattan?" a stallion said.

"Yeah, it was a lot worse than ours. Apparently they'd find the criminal and start the riot all over when they realized it wasn't them. Went on for hours," his friend, another stallion said.

Dash's friends stood near the podium, with the exception of Twilight and Rarity. Applejack gave her serious, tired of your horseshit face and gave Dash a quick look with the same face. Pinkie was as jumpy as ever.

Dash turned away to a group of ponies she recognized from the riots standing on the sidelines, near the ruins of what was probably a store. They still had their weapons on them and glared at her.

Dash looked away and took a deep breath. "Just stay calm. They still don't know it's you," she said to herself.

"Hi ya Dash!"

There was only one pony in existence with a scream like that--Pinkie Pie.

..................................................................

Twilight ran from the crowd and to the back end of one of the few still standing buildings in Ponyville's center, making sure to check all sides and behind her when she reached her destination. The coast was clear, and with the building between her and the crowd there was no way anypony could see her. But still, she shut the wooden doors on the shop's windows and took another look around. "Alright, you two can come out," she whispered.

Two shadowy figures stood in the alleyway in front of her, each at least five times the size of her alicorn body. A step into the fading sunlight later their true forms revealed themselves. They were a pair of royal guards from the rows beside the podium, equipped with shades and muscles just like the rest.

"I need your help with something. Do you two know how to keep a secret?" Twilight said, speaking softly.

"Anything," the guards said together.

Twilight took yet another look around. "I need you two to keep an eye on Rainbow Dash. There's been something off about her ever since this whole cake incident happened. See what she's up to, and make sure she doesn't know you're there. Can I trust you with this?"

The guards pushed out their chests and saluted, standing tall. A second later they were gone, back into the shadows from where they came.

..................................................................

Dash lay on the ground, frozen, and tried to suck in the air she'd lost. Pinkie stood over her, smiling with the same wide smile she always had. "Yay! You came!" she said, bouncing up and down, "And here I was thinking you wouldn't. What took you so long?"

Dash shook her head to come back to reality and opened her mouth to start thinking of a reason. Pinkie put her hoof on the Pegasus's mouth though before she could say a word. "Oh you don't have to tell me. I'm sure you were training and thinking of more super cool moves for the Wonderbolts. All that matters is that you're finally here." Pinkie bounced harder. "So are you excited? Huh? Are ya? Are ya?"

"O-Of course. I'm act-."

"Well of course you are... Duh!" Pinkie said, helping her friend up, "You must be so excited that you couldn't control yourself; that's why you fell down. It's okay, happens to me all the time." She stepped closer to the Pegasus. "What's making me so nervous is wondering how mad Princess Celestia is now. You can't imagine how loco she's gotten! But it's not like you have to worry... you're not the one she wants to banish forever."

Dash's shaking by now was so great that her body moved in one continuous and endless wave, and that's not including the sweat.

Pinkie continued, putting her hoof around Dash, and reeled her in. "Just think about it. Imagine being the prankster, trying to get yourself out of a hopeless situation, one second away from being caught, knowing a bazillion years in the center of a fifty million degree ball of fire and death awaits you all because of a cake!"

Dash would've fainted onto the ground if the sound of a horn blowing hadn't shocked her back to consciousness.

"Oh look, Princess Celestia's here," Pinkie said.

True to her word Celestia made her appearance on the scene and was being brought in sitting down on a flat surface carried by a group of dozen guards, the regular kind. Around her on the surface were the pillows and cloth she rested on, and a meter by meter pile of sweets as high as her which were being gobbled up faster than anypony could keep track of. She was fatter now, noticeably so, to which the sweets and mess of dough and frosting all over her face were a perfect match. The anger on her face was the same though, unchanged by sugar and time.

"Trust me, she's definitely madder than she looks," Pinkie said.

The guards set Celestia down near the podium and held up a microphone near her mouth. The crowd froze and wiped their eyes as their disgraced princess swallowed her bowtie doughnut and cleared her throat. "And now, captain of the royal guard and prince of the Crystal Empire, Shining Armor, here to explain the fate of Ponyville."

Shining Armor walked up to the podium, coming from behind the row of royal guards. He did not look happy. "I speak to you not as a member of the guard, but as a fellow citizen of Equestria. My fellow ponies, I do not speak lightly when I say that a great tragedy has befallen our kingdom unlike any other. Our princess was pranked today, a crime that I, nor any of us shall ever forgive!"

The crowd nodded to his every word. Dash didn't even know what to think anymore.

"Princess Celestia..." Shining Armor paused for a second. "Sorry. Princess Celestia is so traumatized by the attack that the only comfort she has left are her sweets. Look at her!" he said, pointing at her. "Now I know that there have been riots here and across Equestria, but I ask that you leave it to us now, which is why I'm here. We have already stationed troops all across the kingdom at points we believe the criminal may use as an escape route. There is however reasonable evidence suggesting that the criminal is still in Ponyville, among you right now..."

The crowd gasped.

"And that is why until they are found and brought to justice, nopony will be allowed to leave and enter Ponyville, under any circumstances. I ask all of you to understand and support us on our mission."

The ponies in the crowd all stomped their hooves on the ground and cheered. Shining Armor smiled and nodded. His horn glowed and shot out a beam straight up into the sky. The beam exploded in a violent and bright flash high atop the town and released a magical bubble. An instant later all of Ponyville was concealed inside, shut off from the rest of ponykind.

Pinkie turned to Dash, who was now staring, jaw dropped, at the barrier of magic on top of her. "Told you this would be exciting!"

..................................................................

Dash ran in circles, now alone in her bedroom with her thoughts as her only company. The door, blinds and lights were all shut and sealed, leaving her in darkness with only sprinkles of moonlight hitting her. "I'm done for! So. Done for!" She ran to the window and opened the blinds a crack, leaving only enough space for her eye to peek through. The dome around Ponyville glittered with electric bursts and lit up the air around it. "Pinkie already knows it's me and it's only a matter of time before everypony does... Unless... they already do..." She closed the blinds and sealed them shut with rolls of duct tape.

"She's obviously already told them all... I mean, why wouldn't she? But then again, that'd be too easy. Yeah, yeah, I know what that pink joker is up to. She's trying to make me crazy," Dash said, walking to and sitting down on her bed. "Yeah, that's it. She thinks she can mess with me, but I'm on to her plans... Twilight too... All of them. Nopony's making me crazy!" Dash said with derping eyes. "All I need is a plan to get out of this, and then we'll see who has the last laugh."

Dash got back up and walked back and forth between the window and door. "Ugh... but what can I do?" She went into a thinker's pose. "What if I rainboom into the shield as fast as I can? That should work... But then again I'd rather not be a pancake in case it doesn't. This isn't just some random unicorn after all. Hmmm... digging underground? Nah, only Pinkie could do something like that, though I guess some of Fluttershy's animals could too."

Dash growled. "But then I'd have to deal with those stupid guards again... I could just paint myself a different color? Maybe they won't recognize me and just forget about all this?" she said, laughing. "Yeah, even I wouldn't recognize myself. It's foolproof! Now I just gotta pick a color... something they wouldn't expect. Dark blue maybe?"

The speed of her pacing increased. "Yeah, yeah, this is perfect. I'd probably have to change my name too though. Raindash Bow? Yeah, that can work."

Dash smiled as she thought of her new plan and only got happier as the seconds passed by. There were no way she could fail now, no matter who stood in her way. Ideas for Raindash Bow's life popped up in her mind, bringing the plan that much closer to becoming a reality. The euphoria only lasted mere seconds though, after which Dash collapsed to the floor and began to repeatedly slam it. "Oh what's the point? I'm just gonna get caught anyway." She relaxed her wings, so much that she couldn't even feel them anymore. "I just hope I can still fly when I'm banished to the sun." Dash lay still, waiting to be arrested.

A strange feeling overtook her body. It was something she'd never felt before, and every second of it made Dash sick to her stomach. She'd heard about this feeling before, and had even seen other ponies fall victim to it, but not once did Dash ever think that she too would feel its sting. Dash was now the one thing she'd sworn never to become; she was a quitter.

Dash launched herself up and out of the floor and stomped the ground, snorting and dragging the carpet behind her. "Who am I, Rarity? So what if Pinkie knows? So what if Twilight's in charge?" She stood tall and with her wings erect. "I don't care who knows; I don't care who's in charge. Cuz if they think they can take me down then they don't know who they're dealing with."

Dash smiled confidently and felt a sense of relief she hadn't felt since before this whole ordeal. "I'm gonna find a way out of this mess--if it's the last thing I do."

Hoofsteps came from outside the room, growing louder with each step. The door burst open, behind it, Sweetie Belle, snorting with anger and flying with wings like those her sister had used in the Best Young Flyer competition. "Can you please stop talking!? I'm trying to get some sleep here!" she screamed.

"My bad," Dash said back.

Author's Note

Hope you all liked the story :twilightsmile:

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Strike One

Rainbow Dash poked her head out of the bush, ready to begin her master plan. Twilight's house stood in front of her, only a few seconds gallop away, with two royal guards in front of the entrance. It was now the dead of night, but from what Dash could make out the two carried spears and stood tall, with their faces pointed forward but eyes moving from side to side in a never ending cycle. She stayed put inside her bush and looked up at the still present dome over her. Her all black outfit covered her whole body except for her tail, snout and eyes.

I gotta get rid of those guards somehow. Dash left the safety of her bush and crept towards the treehouse, all the while turning her head from side to side in a jerking motion. Why do I get the feeling I'm being watched? Ugh... just forget it. She was now yards away from the house, on its side hidden from the view of the guards. The entrance they stood in front of was the only way in, no way around it. Dash began thinking of a plan and eyed a rock on the ground next to her. Just what I need.

She picked it up and threw it, aiming at the ground on the opposite side of the treehouse and across the guards. The rock made a loud enough sound when it hit the ground for her to hear it. "Hey, you heard that?" one of the guards said as they both turned their heads to the source of the sound.

Perfect... Now they'll both run after the noise thinking it's the intruder. Dash held in a chuckle. Idiots.

"Probably just a squirrel or something," the other guard said. They both went back to facing forward.

Dang it! That's always supposed to work! Dash went back to planning mode and saw a cat walking on the road nearby. A smile shot up on her face as a plan formed and she picked up another rock, closing her eyes and aiming for the cat's face. Sorry little buddy, but I gotta do this. At least you'll go down for a worthy cause. She launched the rock at her target and hit the cat's face hard enough to knock it backwards onto the ground. A moment of silence followed as the cat laid still. It picked itself up a few seconds later, growling and screeching and shaking with a visible, feral anger. It made eye contact with the guards, who were still busy staring at the air in front of them, and charged.

The cat shot out its claws and jumped on one of the guard's faces, attaching itself to the skin. "Ahhh! What the heck!" the stallion screamed, jerking and tumbling around. He used his hooves to hit it and try to rip it off, all of course ending in failure. "Get it off! Do something!" he screamed to his partner, who was doing nothing but staring and giggling at the situation.

"Alright, just stay still." The other guard focused his aim and held his spear steady, pointing it at the cat and by extension his partner's face. "I'll spear this thing off... Don't you worry."

"No!" the guard screamed, still trying to rip away the feline. "Just rip it off! Rip it off!"

The free guard ran to his partner, dropping his spear, and grabbed the cat. He tried to pull it off until every vein in his face was popping out and his face had turned blue, but still the cat remained, doing who knew what to its victim. "What kind of cat is this?!"

Dash watched the scene unfold from afar feeling bad but at the same time unable to hold in her laughter. The fact that she had a plan to complete though came back to her and her laughter ended. She tiptoted towards the front door at first but then ran, knowing that the cat's grip had to give out some time. By the time she made it to the front door the cat was still attached to the guard, with his partner still trying to rip it away. "I... almost... got this-." The cat's grip failed, causing it to fly off its victim. The guard that had succeeded in beating it fell backwards to the floor. The cat reaimed its claws though and attached itself to the face of that guard, now hissing and spreading its claws all over him. "Ahhh! Celestia why?!"

As much as Dash wanted to stay and watch the scene play out, time was of the essence and running out. She shot inside and wasted no time in closing the door. The inside of Twilight's house was dark, without a single light on, and the snores and murmurs from the upstairs bedroom echoed throughout every room. Dash took a deep breath, clearing her mind of everything but the mission, and began walking to and up the stairs. The murmurs got louder with every step. Once upstairs she decreased her speed and walked to the bedroom, slowly opening the door.

Twilight and Spike were both asleep in their bed and floor respectively. Now where is it? Dash thought, looking around the room. Found it! Twilight's evidence bag rested on the floor underneath her bed. The sight of it caused Dash to smile so hard her teeth showed through her mask. This is perfect! Without her bag Twilight will lose all her evidence and will have to start from scratch. Her investigation will be ruined! And no investigation means no arrest!

Dash took another deep breath, eyes closed, and took the first step to her target, making sure to take it as slowly and lightly as she could. A minute passed and she had just completed it, with another twenty left to go. As she took each step she reminded herself of how close to the enemy she was, and how one wrong step meant a doom beyond all comprehension.Just stay calm. I'm already halfway there. After what had to have been more than an hour, Dash made it to Twilight's bed and extended her hoof towards and through the bag. The moment she did, noise came from Spike's position of what had to have been him moving.

"Oh Rarity, Sweetie Belle too? Well if you say so..." He turned to his other side and laid back on the ground, still asleep.

"Phew..." Dash said, wiping her forehead. She picked up the bag and turned around, facing the exit. Before she could take a step though the entrance to the house opened and slammed shut, followed by the heavy breathing of two stallions.

"W-We're safe now," a guard said, catching his breath.

The cat scratched the door and let out an ear piercing screech. Spike moved again, this time opening his eyes with every turn. Dash jerked her head back and forth between the dragon beside her and the exit, with an ever increasing heart rate.

"I don't know about that dude," the other one said.

"H-Huh... What?" Spike picked up his head and opened his eyes, staring directly at Dash, still half asleep. His eyes popped open and he tumbled backwards onto the floor, screaming, "T-Twilight! Twilight! Get up! B-B-Burglar!" while pointing at Dash.

"You hear that?"

"Yeah, let's go!" The royal guards began running upstairs.

Twilight lifted her head and rubbed her eyes. "Burglar... Spike what are you-?" Her eyes popped open wide the moment they made contact with the Pegasus in the room.

Dash secured the bag on her hoof and turned her face away from Twilight. She turned around towards the exit and sprinted out of the room with all her hoofpower, making sure not to use her wings, lest they clue the enemy in on her identity. The two guards charged at her on the staircase, but Dash braced herself and rammed through them, knocking them both to the side and rolling down behind her. Almost there! The door was only feet away. Dash opened it, only to have the cat pounce on and attach itself to her face.

"Get off-!" Dash silenced herself before it was too late. She let go of the bag and began pulling and pushing the cat away from her snout and eyes, keeping all growls and grunts inside her as she tumbled every which way. As she finally freed herself from the feral feline she found herself outside and the bag still in the treehouse, now behind the two guards.

They charged after her. "Everypony! After her!"

Dash sprinted away from the treehouse and bag, turning her head back to look at it every step, thinking that there was still somehow a way to get it. More guards poured in from the rest of the town and came from every direction there was. Dash's face may have been on fire, and her mission a failure, but her mind had already let go of these two facts.

She ran away from the army advancing towards her, already thinking of the next plan.

Author's Note

Hope you all liked the story :twilightsmile:

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Strike Two

Rainbow Dash stood a block away in front of Sugarcube Corner, ready to begin her new and ultimate master plan. It was now morning again and a mass of royal guards patrolled the building in view, marching around it in groups of all sizes, all obviously armed. "Not even surprised..." Dash said, after which she smiled menacingly and reached into her wing, pulling out a small bottle labeled, Hypnotizing Potion: Good Against ANY pony, ANY time! "Might've cost every bit I had and more, but it'll all be worth it soon," she said, kissing the bottle. "I am gonna miss my bed though..."

As pumped as Dash was for finally ending this nightmare, she couldn't stop herself from twitching her head and looking around everywhere like a pony being electrocuted. Seriously, what's with this?! Why do I keep on feeling like I'm being watched?! The ponies around her were busy minding their own business and doing the usual things townsponies did in the morning, with the exception of those who stared at her fit and slowly walked away. This is just annoying now!

Dash hid the bottle back within her and walked up to the entrance to Sugarcube Corner, still twitching her head. In front of the door stood a guard, standing chest out and with spear in hoof. "Outta the way... I'm here to see Princess Celestia!" Dash said.

The guard didn't respond.

"What, did you not hear me? I said I'm here to see the princess!"

"The princess is currently sleeping. No visitors," he said.

"Really?!" Dash screamed with a joyous smile. This is gonna be even easier than I thought! Yeahhhwhooo! She erased her smile and lowered her voice, saying, "I mean... really?"

"Yes! And her majesty does not want to be disturbed! She has already raised the sun today and is dealing with a stress you can not even imagine... so leave!"

"Uh... I don't know if you haven't noticed, but I'm not exactly anypony. I got official business to talk about with the princess... you know, official Elements of Harmony, saving Equestria from eternal doom kinda stuff." She began walking through the guard, saying, "So I think I'll be going in now and-."

The guard pushed her onto the ground. "Sorry, but orders are orders. The answer is still no!"

Dash picked herself up and walked away growling and cursing to herself, walking a block away to where she had come from. "Ugh... Now what!" The building was surrounded by Equestria's finest in every corner, with the first floor filled with even more. Even the top tower sticking out of the roof was garrisoned. There was no way in Equestria to sneak in, no doubt in Dash's mind whatsoever, but the more she looked at the building the stronger the idea forming in her head became.

Maybe she didn't have to sneak in?

.........................................................................

Dash walked up to a royal guard sleeping under a tree in the outskirts of Ponyville, waking him up with her hoofsteps.

"W-H-R-W!" he said, trying to get up. He stumbled around and nearly tripped over himself a bunch before finally standing tall and saluting. "My apologizes, sir! Won't happen ag... Oh, it's just a civilian." He wiped his forehead while catching his breath. "So, what do you need?"

The only response from Dash was a menacing chuckle, followed by the reveal of her hypnotizing potion.

.........................................................................

Rainbow Dash had transformed.

Walking up to the entrance of Sugarcube Corner, now a different pony, she wore the get up of a royal guard in every sense of the word, with every piece of armor on her body and the emotionless look that defined them on her face. Her mane was also held back and covered by the helmet, which further strengthened her new form. "Hello there," she said in the deepest voice she couldmake to the guard still in front of the door, "Just another soldier reporting for duty. Now if you'll excuse me I'll be protecting the princess, as is my job."

The guard didn't move. "Uh... don't mean to be offensive, but you're a mare."

"And what's that supposed to mean?!"

"Now like I said, I'm not trying to be offensive... It's just that I thought there aren't any mares in the royal guard. You know what I'm saying?"

"And why not?!" screamed Dash, getting all up in his face. "I'd love to see what Princess Celestia would think of this, but then again, you probably don't care... I mean, she is just a mare."

The guard shook from Dash's words and got out of the way. "My apologies ma'am. Sorry for keeping you from your post."

"Thought so," Dash said, entering the building. The dozens of guards in the first floor froze and stared at her as she walked in, but then just went back to their conversations. She walked to the staircase, but froze as the voice of a royal guard called her out.

"What are you doing? The princess is sleeping up there."

"Oh... I'm the... a... royal waker. It's my job to wake up the princess... Been doing it for years now," Dash said.

"Works for me." The guards all shrugged their shoulders and went back to their conversations.

"Phew..." Dash said. She went up the stairs and stopped at the top in front of a closed door to a dark room, out of which leaked of snores. Dash opened the door, coming face to face with her target and the pony that had made her life a living Tartarus--Princess Celestia.

The princess was asleep on Pinkie's bed with her eye mask on, now fatter than ever. An evil smile grew on Dash's face as she crept up to her soon to be victim and took out the hypnotizing potion once at the bed. And now to end all this! One drop of this and Princess Celestia will be doing whatever I tell her to, even if that just happens to be forgiving the so called criminal. I really gotta start thinking of stuff like this earlier. She began to drip the potion into the princess's open mouth, only to have the bottle slip out of her hooves from the screams of an all too familiar pony.

"Hi ya Dash!"

It took a few moments for Dash to come back to and have her heart rate return to non-life threatening levels. The bottle and the potion within it were now all on the floor in a glass filled puddle, with Princess Celestia tossing and turning on the bed next to them, disturbed by the noise but still asleep. Dash turned her head back knowing full well which pony was there, and found her fears all confirmed true. "What are you doing here, Pinkie?" Dash whispered.

"I live here, silly," Pinkie said, loudly. She put her hoof over her mouth, laughing, "Oops..." and reduced her voice, saying, "I mean... I live here, silly. What are you doing here? And why are you dressed like a royal guard? And what was with the bottle?"

The potion! Dash shot to the puddle that was once her only ticket left to freedom and stared at it like a deceased relative, thinking of a way to salvage what she could. Maybe if I get enough on my hooves and drip it on her..? No that won't work... Or what if I..?

"Hey, I wasn't done yet!" Pinkie said in a loudened whisper as the pegasus beside her continued staring over the puddle. "So yeah, what was with the bottle? And why were you going to pour it on Princess Celestia? Maybe it was a hypnotizing potion and you were going to pour it on her so she wouldn't be mad at the prankster anymore, but that's crazy. Am I right or what?! Huh Da-?!"

Dash had stuck her hoof up Pinkie's mouth before she could say another word. The princess's tossing and turning had increased, and for all Dash knew she was another word away from waking up. Pinkie continued talking through the hoof in her throat, but it was a fraction of her original voice.

"What's... going on here?"

A royal guard stood behind the entrance to the room, staring at the ponies inside like they had lost their minds.

Dash saluted with her free hoof and depended her voice, saying, "Just the royal waker doing my job."

"I'm the royal waker," the guard said, glaring.

Pinkie broke free from Dash's hoof. "You're not the royal waker, silly! You're Rainbow Dash!"

The guard glared harder. "Ma'am, you do know that impersonating a member of the royal guard is a serious offense, right? What are you doing here?"

"I... uh..." Dash said, walking backwards towards the window. She never finished her response. An instant later she was out of her guard armor and gone from sight, with the window opened.

"I wonder what's gotten into her?" Pinkie said.

.........................................................................

Coming in like an incoming asteroid, Dash landed on the field in front of her house. "Ugh!" she screamed, "How could I mess up like that?! I had everything under control... and then... PINKIE!" A gentle breeze blew through her mane and she took a deep breath. "It's all in the past though... I'm still here, and that means that I can still bust my way outta this." She flew up to the front door of her home, ready to start crafting yet another ultimate master plan.

The door opened all the way by itself when touched lightly by Dash's hoof. She shrugged it off as entered the main room and found it empty of a certain unicorn as well as silent, so silent that the creaks of the door behind her and her hoofsteps may have very well been cannon shots. "Hey Sweetie Belle, you in here?!" she yelled, using her hooves as a megaphone. The seconds passed, but no response came.

Dash shrugged it off and began walking to her room to start brainstorming. As she walked though noises like the tapping of hooves, objects moving and other movements came from behind, sometimes in sync with her own walking, but other times not. She quickly turned around as one of these noises came, screaming, "Ha! Got you! Come on out Sweetie... It ain't working on me!" There was no response, and Dash turned back around to walk to her room. "So about master plan three... Spike seems gullible... What if I-?"

The noises came back, this time softer, causing Dash to turn around again. "I know we're sisters and all now, but I'm not in the mood right now. So cut it out!"

The noises stopped for a moment, but started again a few seconds later. Dash just tried to ignore them and continued walking towards to her room, stopping along the way though when a piece of paper taped to a mirror caught her eye. A note was written on it, reading,

Am currently out trying to get Rarity

not to kill everypony. Wish me luck.

--Sweetie Belle

"But..?" On the mirror, next to the note, was the reflection of a pony's face, staring directly at Dash. It belonged to a muscular royal guard, like the ones from Shining Armor's speech.

Dash wasted no time shooting to her room, locking the door and checking every square zeptometer of her now bedless room ten times over for anything, or pony, that wasn't supposed to be there, from the closet to the space above the blades of her fan. She leaned against the door, shaking and pressing her ear against it. Spies! That Princess Celes... no, that Twilight! It was definitely her! All that pony does is kiss Princess Celestia's backside... Now what?!" She continued leaning and shaking, now a prisoner in her own room. Wait... is this really what I'm doing right now? She got off the door. I should be out there kicking tail!

Dash opened the door and charged out of her room, screaming, "So you wanna spy on me, huh?! I hope the princess gives good insurance!" There was no response, nor any sign of movement. "I know you're out there!" she screamed as she ran to the mirror; the only's pony's face being reflected was her own. "What, you all scared now?!"

The door began opening. Dash spring loaded her hooves and pounced on the pony coming in, giving the attack her all and roaring with a battle cry.

"Ahhhhh!" the pony coming in squeaked out as she jumped out of the way. She evaded the attack, but just by an inch or so. "What is wrong with you, Rainbow Dash?! You're supposed to be my normal sister!" Sweetie Belle screamed, getting back up.

"My bad," Dash looked around the room and out the windows, "I thought you were one of them..."

"Them?"

"The spies, Sweetie belle. They're everywhere and they're after me!" Dash screamed, staring into the room's candle flame. "Everywhere..."

Sweetie Belle took a step back towards the exit. "This is a joke, right... right?"

"No... not yet... When the time's right though... then you'll see the real joke... I know what they're up to... They're trying to make me crack... They wanna see me go crazy..." Dash walked up to Sweetie Belle as the latter continued walking backwards. "But nopony's making me crazy! Guess the joke's on them...?! Ain't that right, sis?!"

"That's it... no more sisters!" Sweetie Belle jumped out of the floating house and flapped away like no filly had ever flapped before.

Dash circled around the room, oblivious to the fact that she was now alone. "Yeah, yeah... all I gotta do is get outta this, and then it's my turn!" She grabbed a pen and paper, and began writing every plan that popped into her head. Within a few minutes the room was littered with dozens of sheets, all filled, front and back, with her writing.

Author's Note

Hope you all liked the story :twilightsmile:

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The Sweetie Belle Sidetrack

--Takes Place Between Chapters Five and Six--

Sweetie Belle kicked open the front door to Twilight's house and stormed in, with a murderous look on her face.

"Hey, get back here!" the voice of guard screamed out.

Stepping on the splintered remains like they were nothing, Sweetie walked into the main library room as two royal guards chased after her.

"Stop at o-!"

Her horn glowed, and she grabbed them with her magic, knocking them into the walls behind her, one guard for the left wall and one for the right. The entire floor cracked from the impact and shook the treehouse. "Twilight, come out here!" she screamed in front of the staircase.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing?!" Spike ran down the stairs, freezing once the sight of the carnage and damage done hit him. "What's wrong with you?! I spent all morning making the room clean... I was even going to rub it in Owlowiscious hooting face when he said I couldn't-."

Like the guards, Sweetie Belle trapped him in her magical hold and threw him out through the hole where the door once was. "Twilight, you here!"

Hoofsteps came from on top of the stairs, followed by the pony Sweetie was searching for. "What's the meaning of this, Sweetie Belle?! I'm very busy with the investigation and don't have time for this! And look at what you did to the library! Well actually Spike can just clean that up, but still!"

"I want wings, Twilight!" Sweetie Belle stomped the floor. "Use that spell you used on my sister during the Best Young Flyer's Competition, now!"

'Whoa... calm down, Sweetie Belle. Why do you want them so badly?"

"Because I can't take living with Rarity anymore! That pony's just crazy, and now she's somehow gone even crazier! Rainbow Dash is my sister now."

"Why her?"

"She was the first pony I saw... kinda too late to go back on my word now. So, are you giving me the wings or not? I can't live with my new sister without them."

"I don't know... and it's not like that spell is permanent; it only lasts for three days."

"I can just keep on coming here. Next excuse," Sweetie Belle said with a stern face.

"And it's never been tested on fillies before. Who knows what side effects there could be?! You could turn into a moth, or grow wings out of your eyes, or-."

"Twilight, have you ever lived with Rarity?"

"I don't see how that matters, but-."

"Yes, or no?"

"Well... no."

"Try it out, and then you'll see why wings growing out of my eyes doesn't scare me. Just do the spell."

Twilight paused for a moment with a worried look, "Alright, but I still don't approve of this," and grabbed the book with the spell out of the shelf. "Alright..." Her horn lit up, and a magical wrap spiraled around Sweetie Belle, getting closer and covering her in a tornado like fashion. Twilight shot one final blast at her, and smiled as her creation came into being.

Sweetie Belle was ready for her new sister.

Author's Note

Hope you all liked the story :twilightsmile:

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Strike Two Thousand and Forty Three

--Many Stupid Plans Later--

This was it, the one plan to end them all.

Dash stood in a secluded part of Ponyville, busy holding up a cardboard cutout in the shape of a pony. Her body shook and jittered in a never ending spasm as she worked to keep it up, which coupled with her messy mane and tail gave her the look of a pony no mother would want their filly standing next to, and that's not including the plain derping eyed, crazy look on her face. Even more, she twitched her head every which way non-stop, still checking to see if the spies were after her. It'd been a few days since the incident... or maybe it was only a day ago? Dash couldn't tell anymore, as the only thing that now mattered was her plans, but still, it never hurt to make sure.

She finished working on the cardboard cutout and took a step back to appreciate her triumph. Now THIS is a plan! she chuckled, I can't wait to see the look on Twilight's face when her little "investigation" falls apart from the sheer awesomeness of my genius. I think the phrase is, "Check. Mate."

The sight of Dash's masterpiece would've made her shed a tear if she were any lesser pony. A horribly cut cardboard cutout of what was supposed to be the shape of a pony, it was drawn all over with crayon and smeared with paint, with some scribbles where the cutie mark was supposed to go. It's face was like a smiley face, with a hollow circle for the eye, no nose and a zigzaggy smile. The centerpiece of it was the words "It Was Me" written in bold paint over the stomach.

"And now to end this!" Dash said, still shaking and looking for the ever elusive spies. She screamed in a goofy, deeper voice, "I confess! It was me! You heard that right folks... I pranked Princess Celestia! Now come and get me!" and ran into a nearby alleyway and hid behind the corner of a building, still watching the cutout. "Any second now..."

"Hey, you guys heard that?"

A group of ponies walked to the cutout and stopped in a circle around it, staring at it with a confused look. Dash watched on shaking even more than usual.

"I don't get it... Is this supposed to be a joke or something?" a stallion said. The ponies next to him continued staring and shared his sentiment.

"Nah, I think it's a personification of how we all view the criminal. Like its eyes for example, notice how they're hollow to show the emptiness in his soul," another pony said.

"Then why does it look like a foal made it?"

The conversation continued on, until thirty different theories were floating around as to what the cutout could've represented.

Dash facehoofed. "It. Was. Me! I am the criminal, mwahahaha!"

"The criminal! Where?!" another stallion screamed, snorting and getting in a charging position.

The original stallion put his hoof in front of his friend and looked around, saying, "Calm down there buddy, this is obviously a failed joke by some young punk who thinks they're funny. I mean just look at it... There's no way this thing can be serious." He put his hooves around his mouth like a mega phone, "Hey, funny guy, you're bad and you should feel bad! You failed bro... failed! Let's get out of here... We wasted enough time."

As him and his gang walked away, some more ponies felt the need to voice their opinions. "Get another cutie mark!"

"You should've stayed a blank flank!"

Dash jumped out of her corner, watching her potential saviors walk away and yet another plan to end all plans end the same. "No! Don't leave! Didn't you hear me! I...! Oh nevermind." She hung her head as the light breeze knocked down her masterpiece and turned around to go back to the drawing board, freezing once the pony standing behind her came into view. It was Scootaloo.

"There you are! I feel like I haven't seen you in forever. What have you been up to?"

S-S-S-S-Spy!" Dash sprinted as fast as she could the other way, with the pony she was sure was out to get her in pursuit.

"Why are you running? I'm not mad about Sweetie Belle if that's what this is about!"

Scootaloo's words never reached her idol; Dash continued galloping until her pursuer had stopped in despair, and continued on blocks more. Her sprint ended when her face slapped against the backside of a stallion, causing her to bounce backwards to the ground.

"Hey, watch it will ya?!"

Dash shook her head and froze as the scene in front of her came into focus. A crowd of ponies stared at her, with the mothers all walking backwards with their kids pushed behind them. The rest of the crowd stepped closer. "You okay there?" a stallion said.

"Spies!" Dash screamed, jumping backwards to her feet and walking in reverse. "G-Get back! I'm warning you!"

Her backside hit what had to be the chest of another pony, stopping her. True to the feeling, a mare stood behind her, saying, "Yeah, what's wrong?"

Dash jumped away again, but found herself still making contact with another pony.

"We only want to help."

The sea of ponies closed in on her, trapping Dash as a shivering mess on the ground, unable to even respond from the sheer panic of having Twilight's personal army descend upon her. The only things she could see were their eyes, along with the indistinct and head banging chatter from their collective questions. As the seconds passed even her shivering went beyond her control. The spies had come, and there would be no mercy for her.

"Oh my... There you are!"

The crowd stepped away and formed a path as Fluttershy ran to the center where her friend lay, saying, "Don't you know what time it is? Twilight's about to start her big announcement any minute... You don't want to be late do you?"

Dash just continued convulsing.

"Oh my... You don't look so good." Fluttershy picked up her friend and got her back on her hooves. "Don't you worry now. Trust me, after hearing what Twilight's going to say you'll be back to good health in no time. Why, I just feeling like screaming myself. Now come on," she said, dragging Dash, who was still in her own world, along for the ride.

Fluttershy galloped away from the area with her friend dangling behind her and leaving a trail on the dirt from her plot. They traveled across town to the remains of the town hall where a crowd of many dozen ponies stood, with the podium back up in front of the ruins and the rows of specialized royal guards beside it. The crowd was all locked in conversation.

"So is there a point to this or what?" a pony said.

"Who knows? But apparently Princess Twilight has something huge to announce."

Fluttershy let go of Dash once at the crowd. "Here it is. Thank Celestia we reached here in time. I wonder where Twiligh-?"

The crowd erupted into cheers as Twilight's hooves became visible as she walked behind the guards. Dash got up from her episode and looked around. "Wait, the spies are gone? Where am I?"

A dead silence followed as Twilight reached the podium. Her face was emotionless, a spitting image of her brother's when a serious tone was called for. "Ponies of Ponyville, I speak to you today to tell you... oh forget this," using her magic she threw away her note cards, "It's over everypony; I figured out who pranked the princess!"

The crowd remained silent for a moment and looked at each other, no doubt taking the time to fully take in the words they had just heard. A second later they erupted into cheers and screams of pure euphoria, with the ground beneath them cracking from their stomps. Dash stood in the center of the climax, frozen and without a single thought other than the empty silence within her.

Twilight's voice boomed over the microphone, "Now, now, I know you're all excited but at least try to save some energy for when I actually say who it was."

The crowd all turned to her, screaming, "Who?!" in unison.

"Sorry, but you'll have to wait a few more hours for that. I want to announce it alongside Princess Celestia in a more formal ceremony. I'm sure you all understand, right?"

The crowd gasped and began booing, "Aww come on, just tell us already!" but as the seconds passed their screams of discontent turned to cheers once again. After all, a few more hours wasn't that bad considering they had already gone so many not knowing, and it gave them time to prepare themselves for the big reveal and ensuing, inevitable punishment.

"Can you believe it, Dash?" Fluttershy said, dancing in place, "Isn't this just wonderful?"

Dash was still incapable of responding.

"Aww... it's okay if you don't want to say anything. I can see that you're very excited," Fluttershy said, looking at her friend's jaw dropped, eyes popping out face, "And that's all that matters. Told you this would make you feel better."

And with that Fluttershy left the scene, along with the rest of the ponies there. The minutes passed, turning into ten, then twenty, then thirty, and Dash stayed right where she was, now the only pony there, and with only one thought in mind,

How could I lose?

She collapsed to the ground, still able to hold back her tears, and rested her face on it, savoring each little grain and worm that crawled over her. This would be the last time she'd get the chance to feel them, or any other of the small blessings of life she never took the time to appreciate. To her they'd always be there, and it was only now, knowing her time with them was at an end, that she could feel every grain of earth and breeze to the fullest. I... lost.

The only thing left for her to do now was lay where she was, and wait for her inevitable punishment. This truly was the end, but like Twilight had said, at least it was all finally over.

"Hi ya Dash!"

Author's Note

Hope you all liked the story :twilightsmile:

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Only Pinkie Pie

Dash didn't even bother turning around. Pinkie was obviously behind her, but it didn't matter anymore. Dash stayed put lying down waiting for whatever tools of torture Pinkie had planned.

"Daaaaaaash!" Pinkie screamed in the pegasus' ear, "Dash! Wooohooo!"

Dash felt the grass on her cheeks. It was a mundane feeling for sure, but with the seconds ticking away as fast as they were even the mundane was now worth it. "Oh... hey, Pinkie. Whatsup?" she said, without a single emotion in her voice.

"Oh you know, just super duper excited!" Pinkie bounced around, "But really, Dash, that's such a silly question... I mean why wouldn't I be super duper excited right now?!"

"Uh huh..." Dash said, playing around with the dirt.

"I mean Twilight finding out the prankster! Tonight!" Pinkie vibrated like she was being electrocuted, "Just wait till you see the party I'm gonna throw after all this. Looking at how craaaaaaaazy..." Pinkie rolled her eyes around, "Everypony got, they'll need it! So don't miss it!"

Dash just stared at the sky, silent, I'm pretty sure a triple rainboom would take out most of Equestria... I always did want to go out with a bang.

Pinkie paused to stare at Dash's blank face, saying in a genuinely concerned voice, "Hey, Dash, what's wrong? You seem down..."

"Huh? Oh, nothing... Just go on doing your worst... I'll be gone in a few hours anyway. Take your chance while you got it; that's what I always used to say," Dash said, now on her back.

"Gone? Where are you going? Oh... you'll miss the party!" Pinkie said, once again sounding impacted.

"Hilarious... You know, out of all my friends I thought you'd be by my side on this, cuz you know, we used to be pranking partners and all." Dash sighed, "Shows how much I knew."

"Used to?!" Pinkie screamed. She shot towards her friend and stopped while standing on top of her, face to face. "First the party and now this! Are we not friends anymore... Is it something I did?! Tell me!" she screamed, looking genuinely worried.

Dash laughed, but in a way that had the sound of one, yet none of the spirit of a pony in laughter. Her face remained emotionless. "Good one... What else ya got?"

Pinkie paused, "What are you talking about?! Please, Dash, if this is a prank then it's not funny anymore."

Dash sighed, "Can you just go back to torturing me for pranking Princess Celestia? I'm actually starting to miss it."

Pinkie jumped back, gasping so hard her lips were sucked in by the vacuum, "Say it isn't so..." she frowned, "Dash... no..."

"Let me guess... You're gonna pretend you don't remember and then remember so you can rub it in... Or is that not cruel enough?" Dash said.

"Remember it... What do you mean?! How can I remember something you just told me?!" Pinkie went into a thinker's pose, "Unless... I forgot that I remembered it... Or maybe I forgot to remember it when I remembered it! Or maybe I forgot I forgot it when I forgot it so I forgot to remember it when I remembered it!"

Dash got up, "Alright, while you think on that I'm just gonna go to Twilight to turn myself in. The quicker I start my million years the quicker I'll finish them," and began walking away.

"But I'm not kidding... Really!" Pinkie screamed, running after the pegasus, "Pinkie promise!"

"Ha!" Dash stopped, "So why then after Princess Celestia starting going crazy did you start going like 'Don't worry Dash, you don't have to worry about ANYTHING! I mean, even though it's SUPER OBVIOUS that it's you, you got NOTHING to worry about!'?" Dash said, imitating Pinkie's mannerisms. "Huh?!"

"What?! I was just telling you that you did have nothing to worry about... I just wanted you to feel safe!" Pinkie said.

Dash laughed at the thought, "Alright then, then why the heck did you try to scare me before Shining Armor's speech... not... that I was scared, obviously... but you still tried!"

"Have you gone loco... Why would I do that?!"

"I don't know! Why does Celestia wanna kill somepony over a cake?! You're the same as her... Before the speech you were like 'Just think about it, Dash! Imagine knowing you're gonna go to the sun because I'm sure you don't already know even though that's ALL you ever think about!'" Dash stood tall and breathed heavily with anger.

"That does sound pretty mean..." Pinkie said.

"And with Celestia... You blew my whole plan by saying I was Rainbow Dash!"

"But you are Rainbow Dash! Ohhh... this is just making my head hurt."

"You're one to talk... Imagine how I feel!" Dash sighed and looked up at the clear and open sky, "Hey, Pinkie... wanna see a triple rainboom?"

Pinkie didn't respond, but was in deep thought, rubbing her hoof all over her head while in a thinker's pose. "I got it! Dash, remember when Fluttershy was with the Ponytones and I started telling her what would happen if she messed up and how she could never show her face again?"

Dash chuckled, "Yeah, how could I not? That was actually pretty funny, in a messed up sorta way... but yeah, you shouldn't have done that."

"But I did... on you!" Pinkie screamed. Dash thought back to all the times Pinkie had conspired against her in the past few days, and began to see them in a new light.

So relax, Dash... You got nothing to worry about. Not. A. Single. Thing.

You can't IMAGINE how loco she's gotten! But it's not like you have to worry... you're not the one she wants to banish forever.

All that matters is that you're finally here... So are you excited? Huh? Are ya? Are ya?

Just think about it. Imagine being the prankster...

Pinkie continued, "Don't you see? I wasn't trying to scare you; I was just reminding you to stay calm... and that you're not the prankster... even though you are... and I just wanted you to be as excited for the speech as I was... and I was just trying to make you know how the prankster must've been feeling... and... and... You are Rainbow Dash!"

"So... you..?" Dash said, frozen from what she had just heard.

"I'm so sorry... Oh... please don't be that mad. I know I do things like that but I'm trying to stop... I really am... Pinkie promise. And even though you're a national criminal, I want you to know that I still want us to be friends."

Dash growled, "Pinkieeeeeeeeeeee!" and tackled her former friend, pinning her to the ground. "You got any idea what you made me go through... How could you not know?!"

"I'm sorry," Pinkie teared up, "I didn't know that I was supposed to know!"

Dash screamed and shook the pony beneath her, "Why couldn't you just walk on the east path and get pranked like you were supposed to?! Why... Why do you have to be so random?!"

Pinkie may have now been on the same level as failing on the list of things Dash hated, but the sight of her in tears faded away Dash's anger. Even now, through all that had happened and that she had done, Pinkie was a friend. Dash stepped off her, freeing Pinkie from the force of her hooves.

"Not like it matters anyway," she said, sighing, "You didn't know... big whup... Twilight's still gonna arrest me and Celestia's still gonna haul my flank to roast central." Pinkie watched as her friend began to walk away, face down. "See ya, Pinkie... maybe you'll still be alive in a million years... Wouldn't be the craziest thing you've done."

Pinkie continued watching, with her frown growing greater with each step her friend took away from her, "But you're not going to sun... I am."

Dash stopped, "Wuh?"

Pinkie gulped, smiling with tears dripping over her cheeks, "You h-heard me, silly... I'm going to the sun because I pranked Princess Celestia... or at least that's what I'm going to tell everypony."

A smile shot up on Dash's face, "Really?!" Pinkie nodded. "Yeeeeeaaaah!" Dash screamed, flying around in a vortex, "Million years... How bout' none!"

And just like that it was all over. The skull cracking pressure inside Dash's head vanished in an instant, replaced by a bliss only the specialist of races could even hope to come close to. "Sorry, princess, but nopony gets the best of Rainbow Dash! Haha!" The theatrics continued, but as the seconds went by, a nagging feeling ate away at her, like water against a rock, slowly withering away at her at first, but then reshaping her all at once.

And then she remembered.

"Whoa!" Dash zoomed to Pinkie, "Calm down there... You're not saying anything! I mean, some little prank, yeah... but I'm not letting you..." Dash shook her head, knowing full well it wouldn't be enough to erase the thoughts burning in her mind. She planted herself on the ground and readied herself to match any movements Pinkie could've made. "Look... there's no way you're taking the fall for me!"

Pinkie paused, with tears of joy covering her face, and pulled in her friend for one final hug. Dash struggled at first, but found herself accepting the warmth of her friend's goodbye. They stared into one another in silence, with nothing else in the world but themselves and their remaining seconds of love.

"Of course I am, silly," Pinkie said, "You'd do the same for me."

Author's Note

Hope you all liked the story :twilightsmile:

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Penultimate

Everything had to go. Pillows, pictures, books, trophies, everything.

Dash stumbled around her room with her head hung low, searching for as many things to take with her as she could see. The pace of her walk was that of a tortoise's and the look on her face one of blankness, the look of a pony without an emotion to feel, nor a soul to share. She went from closet to ceiling, from window to door and picked up, tore out, scratched out and smashed out anything and everything that had ever had any meaning to her, no matter how little the meaning. A bag rested on the floor where her bed once was, open and overflowing with enough items to open up a store and then some. Tank stood next to it, watching his caretaker with the same expression as her.

Dash walked to the bag and dumped into it a collection of items from her latest grab and get. What they were, not even she knew. The only thing that mattered was that they were once a part of her life, and that was all the reason she needed to include them. Items that once meant the world to her such as racing trophies and a picture with her former friends stuck out of the bag but evoked no emotion. There was nothing left to feel, no shred of emotion left inside her, just the knowledge of who she was and the decisions she had chose to make. She zipped up the bag, managing to close but only barely. It was at the point where even one more air bubble meant a burst, but it would have to do.

Dash sat down next to the bag, sighing, "Guess that's all I'm leaving with... No point in carrying everything if that means flying with a ticking time bomb... eh, Tank?" She then laid down in silence, knowing full well that the thoughts haunting her were beyond her control to erase.

Of course I am, silly... You'd do the same for me.

You'd do the same for me.

For me.

Dash shook her head to snap out it and got up to walk to the window. The image of Pinkie accepting to take the fall burned in her mind. How could she..? What burned the most was Pinkie's smile, the idea that she could know what awaited her and yet still smile like it was just another easy decision.

For me.

Dash looked out of the window and saw two stallions walking under the moonlight alongside her home.

"Shouldn't Princess Twilight's announcement be starting now?" one said.

"Nah, we still got half an hour... Supposed to be in the town hall... Can't believe they rebuilt the thing in like an hour for this; Now that's magic," the other said. They both walked towards Ponyville and out of view.

"Guess we only got half an hour left, Tank," Dash said, turning back towards her room.

Tank made one-tenth of a step towards her; that was his only response.

"There's no way I can keep living here," Dash looked back outside. Beyond the trees and buildings, a crowd was already forming in front of town hall, with Twilight there too jumping around like she had just opened a box full of new books. "Wish I could though... the last few years here have been pretty cool... but I guess Cloudsdale is pretty cool too."

Tank made another fraction of a step. Millimeter by millimeter, he'd get there.

Dash sighed, "Just being here reminds me of her, know what I mean? I just wanna put this whole thing behind me... if I can..." Memories flooded back of times Pinkie and she had shared together, from the happy to the downright annoying. Even the times once forgetful. Dash turned away from the town in front of her; it had been the home for so much that deserved to be remembered, and the home for all that needed to be forgotten.

She growled, "And I'm not going to that ceremony either. Soon as it starts and this dumb shield goes away I'm outta here!" She walked inwards towards the center of the room and the ever stretching zipped up bag, "There's no way I'm watching Pinkie get... you know."

Just as she finished her sentence the final stitch on the bag ripped causing it to explode, leading to a bomb-like explosion shooting out throughout the room. Dash stood where she was, too lost in her thoughts to react, and was covered head to hoof and eyes too by whatever she'd put inside, with some stuff also finding its way into her mouth. She spit out the objects and shook with anger, growling and still covered. "Ugh...!" It only lasted a second though. Her anger died down, leaving her once again as empty as she started. "Forget this stuff... It's just gonna remind me of this place anyway."

She could feel tapping on one of her hooves. "Huh?" She chucked away the excess covering her and found Tank standing beneath her, frowning. "What's up..?" The tortoise tapped her again with his head, as sad as ever. "Oh... right!" Dash said, facehoofing, "You're probably thinking I'm gonna leave you behind too." No response from Tank. "What, are you kidding..? There's no way I'd do that! Who do you think I am?!"

For me.

Dash froze with the thoughts once again flooding back. This time though the scenes playing in her head filled her with rage and she stomped the ground, growling and grinding her teeth, and cracking it. "Enough with this... Like this is even my fault! I mean... this wouldn't have even happened if Pinkie had just walked on top of the road like a normal pony... Who the heck digs underneath a road for no reason at ALL! Taking the blame is the least she could do for putting me through this... What does she know of the struggle!"

Dash snorted with confidence as the words spewed out, but found herself getting more and more sick as every word dripped out, "I should probably shut up now." She fell back onto the floor and laid on the sea of memorabilia underneath her.

Tank's face popped up in front of her, still with a frown. "I told you already; I'm not leaving you," Dash said in an annoyed tone, "Just give me a minute, alright... Not in the mood right now." Tank pointed his head towards another part of the room. "Now what..?" Dash looked there, finding a mountain of the bag's vomit where her pet was pointing at. Before she could open her mouth to yell at him though an object caught her attention, an object so powerful that the very sight of it took her heart and squeezed it until she was sure she could she could take no more.

It was her Element.

Dash snapped out of the hold and turned her head away, "Like I even deserve it anymore... Sorry, Tank, but all that's over now... Tank?"

Tank was gone from in front of her. She turned around and found him sweating and pushing the Element towards her. Once at her, he pointed his head in another direction, at a picture on the floor of Dash and all her friends. The six of them, together, and forever, as one.

There was a tapping like feeling on her hoof again. Tank was trying his hardest to press the Element up her hoof. Dash took it and held it in front of her, frozen and unable to look away from the symbol she was given to represent. And that was when her heart could finally take no more.

"Get ready, Tank, we're going to that ceremony!"

Author's Note

Hope you all liked the story :twilightsmile:

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The One Prank To Rule Them All

The time had finally come for Twilight's big announcement, the moment of truth.

Everypony in Ponyville crowded around the now good as new town hall jerking around and fidgeting from the anticipation. The moon hung over the crowd and sparkled off the magical shield still encasing them all. Every inch around the town hall was covered with ponies, so much so that even scratching yourself was a challenge in and of itself. The only space left open was around the podium that stood in front of the entrance of the hall and that too was flanked both sides by a row of the muscular royal guards in shades. Celestia, now ten times as fat as the day before, laid on her gut on a fine carpet on the ground surrounded by a pack of royal guards, both regular and muscular. The look on her face was one of anticipation mixed with anger, like the ponies' in the crowd except with a death glare added on. This was her night, the night of her vengeance and the night when her justice would finally be given, and from one look at her there was no denying that she couldn't wait to give it.

Pinkie Pie, Applejack and Fluttershy stood at the front of the crowd nearer to the podium. All three shook with the same anticipation as those around them but also hung their heads with a frown, Pinkie more than the others. Everypony around them talked and gossiped about who the criminal might have been, sounding almost pumped, but the three remained silent. Mayor Mare was the most excited out of anypony and jumped around like she had just won the lottery. The three Element bearers kept to themselves, not even looking at each other, and tried to just ignore the euphoria of the night, though that could only work so long.

"What's the matter with you three?" Mayor Mare said, noticeably holding in her laughter, "Of all the times to be happy this is it! Come on, celebrate... We owe it to Twilight to be happy. We got them! Wooooo!

"Oh... sorry," Fluttershy said, still facing down, "It's just that... I don't think I can stay here knowing what's going to happen."

"Same here," Applejack said, "I get ya'll are mad bout' what happened to the Princess... me... uh included... But I ain't exactly in the mood to watch somepony get blasted on away to the sun, if ya know what I mean."

Pinkie didn't say a word or even move a muscle. The only thing on her mind was the mission she had come here to accomplish; nothing else mattered anymore. As the seconds passed they only made her frown hang lower.

"Oh lighten up," Mayor Mare said, "This might be the only time you'll get to see something like this, so at least try to enjoy it! You too, Pinkie, it's not like you to act like this."

"Yeah... everything okay?" Applejack said, "I mean we all sad too but you're just moping on a whole nother' level."

Pinkie sighed, "Sorry... just having a bummery day." She gazed up at the empty podium and then gulped. Remember why you're here, Pinkie... for her!

The scene continued for another half hour until the anticipation in the air seemed like it was ready to boil over into a riot at any moment. Just then, as the ponies in the crowd all squirmed and yelled for the event to start, Twilight Sparkle took her first step into view behind the row of guards. The crowd froze and turned to her with their undivided attention, leaving the sound of her hoofsteps as a series of booming explosions. Applejack and Fluttershy both picked up their heads and did the same. Pinkie's head remained low, with the alicorn walking in front of her only serving to make her heart tremble.

Remember...

As Twilight walked up to the podium more of her body revealed itself as the row of royal guards ended. By far out of anypony in the area, Mayor Mare included, the look on her face was the most overjoyed. She didn't jump around like the rest though but walked chest out and head high in a very professional manner which was only contrasted by her smug smile. It was obvious to everypony that Twilight was trying to force her mouth shut and keep her serious stance but was failing.

At least YOU'RE happy... Pinkie thought, lifting her head up.

Twilight put her face next to the microphone on the podium. "This is it..." Mayor Mare said, now shaking more than ever. A dead silence followed as the crowd and Twilight looked upon each other.

"My fellow citizens of Equestria," Twilight said, still fighting to muzzle her enjoyment, "As you all know, I come before you tonight to... Oh forget it. It's over everypony! After days of investigating we finally figured out who the criminal is!" She slammed the podium with her hooves, "I'd like to say that this was a hard case but I'm sure that Princess Celestia wouldn't appreciate me lying. This was an easy case from the start, with-."

"Just say who it was!" a mare in the crowd yelled.

"Yeah, we just wanna see them get sent to the sun already!" a stallion added.

Pinkie took a deep breath, Guess this is it...

This was supposed to be the scary part, the calm before the storm that determined whether or not she would go through with it. As the crowd yelled at Twilight all Pinkie could think of was the promise she had made and what she now had to do. The thoughts of the pain she would now have to endure beagn to crush her, but there was no turning back, not for a pony like Pinkie Pie. The sun, a million years, a billion, a trillion, her hooves didn't once tremble from the thought of it. Pinkie wasn't scared by the slightest by the fate that awaited her and could only smile knowing that her end would give another pony, a friend, new life.

Twilight growled, "Alright, alright... Just thought you all would appreciate the extra context. You can settle down now... sheeeesh!" She cleared her throat and then paused for a few seconds. The moment she opened her mouth again the audience all drew their heads closer to her. Before a single word could escape her though a scream shout out from the front of the crowd in a bubbly voice.

"It was me!"

Everypony turned to the source, Pinkie Pie, who stood dripping with tears but yet still with a smile on her face. Nopony said a word but stared shaking their heads with their jaws dropped. Twilight and Princess Celestia too shook their heads and stood frozen with a look of unimaginable disbelief. Pinkie looked around at the eyes all pointed at her only able to feel a sense of joy. She took a step away from the crowd and began slowly walking to the podium, her cheeks still wet. "Y-You heard me... So what a-are you waiting for? Send me to the sun..."

Twilight stood frozen with her eyes unable to look away from the pink pony in front of her, "Pinkie..."

Celestia used her magic to lift herself up. She stumbled to Pinkie with the shock wearing off her and transforming back to a look of disgust. Pausing in front of the pony that had done so much to her, she shook her head one last time unable to look at Pinkie. "There are no words left to be said now," Celestia said, "All I will say is that I can assure you that for your crime your pain shall know no limits... farewell."

Celestia's horn began glowing and shooting out a booming sound louder than any cannon. Pinkie closed her eyes, now smiling more than ever, and held the mental image of all her friends and the ponies that had meant so much, and always would. As the booms grew louder Pinkie took one last breath, and prepared for the end.

"Stop!" a scream shout out, ripping through the air.

Pinkie's heart fell as she recognized the pony behind the scream.

................................................................................

Rainbow Dash stood alone behind the crowd, now the fixture of everypony's gaze. Her stance was rigid and tall, like the Dash everypony had always known, but behind the cover of her confident smile lay a pony unable to form another word. All eyes were on her, Pinkie's, Celesita's, Twilight's. For a second the thought of just flying on out of there popped up again but was quickly squashed. "D-D-D-Don't... send Pinkie Pie to the sun... She's not the criminal." The moment ate away at her, but it would have to be endured. She gulped hard, "Cuz..." and then paused, once again paralyzed. Come on, Dash... just a few more words. She then raised her voice to the max and yelled, "It was me! I pranked Princess Celestia... It was all me!"

As the final word slipped out it gave a sense of relief, but only for a moment as the realization of what the rest of her life and beyond was now going to be like sunk in. The crowd all shot her death stare unlike any she could've imagined, Princess Celestia included whose eyes were glowing more red by the second. Fluttershy's mane could be seen shaking on the ground with her hooves trembling even more over it; she was no doubt now on the ground in her usual cowering position. Applejack held one eye shut and looked on with a face that just screamed, "I'm sorry!"

The face that stung the most was Pinkie's, who shook her head mouthing the word "Why?" As much as it hurt though Dash could only feel joy; the sun really was the obvious choice.

Twilight was the only pony who didn't glare; while everypony else had their eyes on the criminal she blushed and magically threw her speech papers behind her at cannonball speed. She then put on a glare and joined the rest.

Celestia began walking towards Dash with a now fiery aura around her eyes, "You would be in the sun already, but I feel that you have some words left unspoken... speak them!"

"Unspoken..?" Dash said, "Well, I guess I do got a bunch of stuff to say... might as well say it while I can." She stood tall and returned a glare to her executioners, "Yeah, I do got something to say. When I pranked the Princess it wasn't even for her... but even if it was, you're all insane! You hear me! Yeah, I get that she's the almighty bringer of the sun, our beloved princess, but still, it's just a cake! What the heck is wrong with you guys!"

Her audience didn't respond but kept on glaring. "But... I guess this could be my fault too," Dash said. "I mean if all of you are so pissed and not me then maybe I'm the one not getting something." She sighed, "I mean... in the beginning just Princess Celestia was pissed... but then my fri... well most of my friends left me... you all even burned the town down just to find me... and everything I did just made it worse." Dash chuckled, "I'd tell you what I did... but I don't wanna go down as the village idiot."

Dash and Celestia looked upon each other, eye to eye. "Still though," Dash said, "I'm owning up to what I did. NO way I'm letting Pinkie take the fall for me like that... That just ain't the kind of pony I am! You hear that Princess... You can put me in the sun until it explodes but there's no way I'm ever turning my back on my friend! In fact, the only regret that I got is that I didn't do this sooner!" Celestia stood unaffected. "So just send me to sun already... it's not like my life's been any better the past couple of days." Dash kept her eyes open; she wanted to look Celestia right in the eye as she was banished. Celestia might've been the winner in all this, but if Dash was going down she was doing it under her terms.

Celesita didn't move a muscle but just stood there with the same look of disgust.

"What!? Don't got the stuff the do it now?!" Dash yelled at the Princess's face, "Just do it already!"

Still no response.

"Do it!"

Celestia and Dash continued staring each other down in silence. As the seconds passed Dash only intensified her glare while her rival's remained unchanged. Then, out of nowhere, Celestia's face of fiery rage broke down, leaving in its place the sound of muffled laughter. An instant later the mountainous princess broke out laughing in a manner most unprincesslike. "Now, Rainbow Dash... really, why would I banish you to the sun for?"

Dash's jaw collapsed followed by the jaws of Pinkie, Fluttershy, Applejack and Twilight. "Haaaaaaah?" Dash said. The crowd made no sound or movement.

Celestia giggled, "What... did you truly believe that I had gotten mad? I was never mad, not even a little. Like you said; it was only a cake."

"What?! The yell came from two ponies, Dash and Twilight, who both glared at the Princess with a look far more full of anger than any fiery rage. Twilight's yell was louder.

As the three ponies exchanged looks the crowd that encompassed all of Ponyville began to giggle and then broke out in ear shredding laughter. Dash looked back and forth between the mass of ponies behind her and the smug faced alicorn in front of her. "Alright... what the heck is going?! Cuz if I don't get some answers then I'm gonna start laying a beat down!"

"Relax..." Celestia said, still with a smug smile.

"Relax?!" Dash screamed, "You know what I've been through cuz of this?!"

"Of course... and I do have to say that you have made me very proud," Celestia said.

Dash's ears dropped, "Wha..?"

"Allow me to explain... I arranged this whole ordeal to teach you a very important lesson in friendship, one that I am glad you had the courage to understand." Dash still stood confused. "It is understandable that you still do not understand. You see, you had the opportunity to walk away from this and let another take the blame for your action... and yet, knowing the consequences would be grave, you took responsibility for what you did. You told the truth, even though by all logical sense it wasn't... the smart thing to do, as you would say. That is what this was all meant to teach you... to accept your actions and take responsibility for them, no matter what the cost, as that is the true sign of loyalty to one's own values."

Dash stood stiff and with eyes that were twice their normal size and popping out. She stuttered, "B-B-But... why?"

"It was out of necessity that I had to do this," Celestia said, "I had been receiving reports for quite a while now of your out of control behavior... pranks, lying to get out of trouble, always attempting to run away from the consequences, I could only ignore it for so long. And then, right before I made my trip here I received news of yet another incident, this time big enough to make the press.... I only did what was necessary for you to see the error of your ways. As you saw, running away from your actions only made things worse... If I did not do this then it was only a matter of time before another did, one that was not acting."

Dash didn't respond but remained still and stared inwards. The pieces of the puzzle that was the past few days were finally beginning to join together. "Wait!" She turned to the crowd who were all still having a laugh attack, "You were all in it too!"

"Duh!" said Mayor Mare with a smug smile, "That's what you get for messing with my beautiful mane! Don't act like you didn't have this coming!"

"Yeah! You had this coming for awhile now!" a stallion yelled.

"We're tired of your pranks!" yelled another.

"They were kinda funny at first but now they're just annoying!" The rest of the crowd joined in and all shouted their opinions on the matter at the Pegasus.

Dash just took the verbal slaps and shook her head, " I can't believe that this was all just a... prank..."

"You can't believe it...?!" Twilight yelled, "I can't believe it! And here I was thinking Princess Celestia actually believed in me enough to make me lead detective!"

"Oh, just shut it, Twilight," Dash said, "You're not the one everypony wanted to boil... And how could you think any of this was real?! I mean I didn't have a choice since I was constantly on the run... just admit that you were in on it too!"

"How could you?!" Twilight screamed back, "It's not like I know everything!"

"Eh... to be fair, I didn't know either," Applejack said, walking with Fluttershy and Pinkie to the two ponies.

"Me neither," Fluttershy said.

"Me three!" Pinkie said.

"And it's not like we knew either!" It was Shining Armor with a group of royal guards. "We were as clueless as the rest of you!" he said, "We were just doing our jobs... We couldn't just say no to the Princess, especially when it seemed like everypony was going crazy over the prank... I just pretended to be mad cuz everypony else was."

"Yeah!" the guards all said in unison, looking mad.

"That's pretty much my story," Applejack said, "I mean I knew somethin' was off and had a hunch it was somethin' like this, but I didn't wanna say anything unless I was sure... Ever since this whole thing started it's been like one giant witch hunt!"

"What?! What about that whole 'finding it funny' thing?" Dash said.

"What about it? I meant everythin' I said back then... still do," Applejack said.

Dash growled, "Alright, I can get you all," she said, pointing at Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Shining Armor and the guards, "But you..!" She glared at Twilight.

"What about me?!" Twilight said, looking falsely accused.

"You were out to get me as much as everypony else!" Dash screamed, "They were just pretending... So what was wrong with you?!"

"I was mad... What, do you expect me to just sit back and do nothing after seeing Princess Celestia that sad?"

"It's not like I expect you to help her send somepony to the sun either! Whatever happened to second chances... Isn't that like all we do?!"

"Yeah... but... but... You saw how sad she was..."

Dash felt like growling but opted to just shake her head instead, Note to self... get back at Twilight.

"Well I'm just glad that nopony's going to the sun!" Pinkie said, smiling like her usual self, "Come on, girls, isn't that the most important thing!"

No response from anypony.

"Hey... what ever happened to Rarity?" Dash said, "Last time I saw her she went crazy and wanted to take me out herself... To be honest I thought she was gonna jump me here with a giant robot or something."

"I actually haven't seen her since right after the prank," Fluttershy said, "Oh... I hope she's okay."

"I can explain..." Celestia walked towards the group, "There is a reason she has not been seen since... I had caught wind of her plans and had her detained before anything regrettable could of been done. I understand if you are all mad as she was a dear friend-."

"Keep her in there as long as you want!" Dash said, "I owe you one! What kind of 'plans' was she planning?"

Celestia laughed, "I think it is best if you do not know... You cannot comprehend what she was ready to do to you... and please, do not waste your thanks on me; I am not the one who caught onto her schemes." Celestia turned to Applejack after which everypony else did.

"Let me guess... Rarity wanted you to join her?" Dash said.

"Yup... Happened to you too?" Applejack said.

"Yup."

"I visited her a few days ago to talk about what was going on... but when I went in saw her with... I don't even know what! She started tellin' me what she was up to and tried to get me to help her as her 'assistant', but I just galloped on outta there as fast as I could to the Princess! That crazy pony wasn't kiddin' round like the rest."

The ponies all shook their heads at the story. "You know what... Not even surprised," Dash said.

She paused for a bit and then sighed, "Well, at least this whole mess's over... I'm gonna need some serious off time after the stuff I've been through.. but seriously, thank Celestia it's over!"

"Same here," Applejack said, "The way everypony started going all crazy I didn't know what was gunna happen... I'm just glad the farm wasn't burnt down during them riots."

"Or my cottage," Fluttershy said. She shot a dirty look at Dash, "My door was kinda destroyed though..."

"I can't believe that it was you!" Twilight said.

"What do you mean?" Dash said.

"I was way off with my investigation... way off," Twilight faced down with a frown, "You were on my short list at first... but I eventually dropped you."

"So who'd ya think it was?" Applejack said.

Twilight blushed and nervously laughed, "I'll tell you all some other time..."

Pinkie spoke up, "Hey... Dash..." she said, looking emotional, "Thanks..."

"What are you thanking me for?" Dash grabbed Pinkie and put her in a friendly headlock, "You're the one I should be thanking... Glad to have you as a friend... You got no idea." She released Pinkie and gazed at the rest of her friends, "And you got no idea how relieved I am now that I got you all back too... well expect for you," she shot a quick glare at Twilight, "This whole thing's been one heck of a roller coaster... Don't get me wrong; I couldn't be more glad that it's over... but still... I'm pissed, you know... at everypony!"

"And yet it is only at yourself that you should be 'pissed' at," Celestia stood beside them all looking down at Dash, "Like I have already said, it was your actions and yours alone that caused all this."

"Hold up... question," Dash said, "What about Pinkie? Not that I want her to get into trouble, but she was with me during my pranks... Why not her?"

"That may be true, but Pinkie Pie is not one to run away from the consequences... She too may one day have to learn a lesson..." Pinkie froze from the thought. "But it will not be this lesson... As for you, I trust that you taken the lesson I have thought you to heart?"

"Yeah... yeah," Dash said with a half closed mouth looking away from the Princess. Obvious anger was in her expression.

"I understand if you are upset with me," Celestia said, "But as you yourself stated, none of this would have reached the point it did if you had just told the truth in the beginning."

"You were gonna send the criminal to the sun! I thought you had lost it... What did you expect me to do?!" Dash yelled.

"Fair enough, but did trying to run away from the consequences make anything better? And when it came to it, in the end you still had to confess."

"I guess..." Dash said, facing down.

Celestia lifted the Pegasus's head, "Feel proud however that you made the right choice... remember that." Dash smiled. "There is however still the matter of your punishment."

Dash escaped the Princess's hoof, "What?! All that wasn't punishment enough?!"

"No matter how harsh the lesson, it is never the punishment," Celestia said, now glaring.

"Go easy on here..." Pinkie said, "Oh... pleeeeeeease!" Dash's other friends also pleaded.

"Do not worry," Celestia said, "Her punishment shall not be grave... in fact, she may even enjoy it."

"Huh?" Dash said.

"Sometime... somewhere... when you least expect it, I shall prank you back. That is your punishment."

Dash's eyes popped out, So she doesn't even consider all this a prank? The different scenarios of the Princess's revenge began playing in her head and she was left still, once again fearing the next second. It was right back to the past few days, like nothing had even changed.

Celestia's horn glowed and a second later she was back to her normal, skinny self, "Shining Armor, would be so kind as to finally remove this shield... I am beginning to miss the feel of fresh air." Shining Armor nodded and the shield that had entrapped Ponyville for so long vanished into the sparkling night sky. Celestia turned to Twilight, "I trust that you saw the rebuilding of the town hall?"

"Yes, Princess... Didn't look as hard as I thought it'd be to be honest," Twilight said.

"Perfect... then I leave the rebuilding of Ponyville to you," Celestia said. Twilight's ears dropped. "Now, if you'll all excuse me... this ordeal has been stressful on us all. I shall be heading off now." And with that, Celestia teleported out of the scene.

................................................................................

Celestia rematerialized in a dark empty room the size of a palace hall. The age of the cloths hanging from the walls, the decaying paint chipping away on its own, the ghostly interior, one quick glance was all the Princess needed to know that she was in the right place, the castle her sister and her had shared so long ago.

There wasn't a sound to be heard from any part of the castle. Celestia turned her head one hundred and eighty degrees with an annoyed look, "Luna... This is not the time for hide and seek!"

Luna teleported in her front of her and laughed, "My apologizes... couldn't resist... This place brings back memories. Wow... you went somewhere by yourself... that is a first. So... did you do it?"

"Do it?" Celestia said, "Ha! I had the villagers burn down the town and everything just like I said I would."

"No mind control?"

"None... I just played the part of the princess in despair and they all did everything for me. Rainbow Dash is not exactly well liked... Popular, yes, but nopony wanted to miss an opportunity like this."

"I heard," Luna said in a sarcastic voice, "There were even riots in other cities!"

Celestia laughed, "Thought of by yours truly... I thought having ponies go crazy in just Ponyville would not be enough for the illusion so I had them start saying that. You can praise my brilliance you know; it will not make you any less of a pony than you already are."

"Ha!" Luna said, "Ooooh... you got a few ponies to say a lie for you that probably didn't even affect anything... Now I know why you are the superior princess!"

The two sisters stared at each other in silence. A second later they both broke out in laughter.

"All kidding aside however, this couldn't have been any easier," Celestia said, "Hear this... I had Dash convinced that I was going to send somepony to the sun tonight... tonight... the sun is not even out!" Celestia's stomach cramped. "But that's not the best part..." Luna drew her head in closer to her sister's. "I even gave Rainbow Dash a punishment... that I would prank her again!" Her limit had reached; Celestia fell onto the floor, jerking around from laughter and with her hooves on her stomach.

Luna chuckled, "You really don't know when to stop do you? Still though... a deal's a deal.. I admit... I was wrong... I lose... Happy?"

Celestia managed to get up, though it took her a few seconds, "Very... told you I could get away with it."

"You cannot blame me for doubting you though... I believed everypony would just think you had gone crazy with power or crazy in general if you told them to do this!"

"I can't believe it myself, really," Celestia said, "They followed me through it all... every townspony. I even got the fleet ready for when Rainbow Dash tried to escape. All I needed in the end was some dumb excuse of a friendship lesson like I always do... I didn't even know what I was saying as I said it... something about lying I believe? Not that it matters... I did it and you lost! I love being the Princess.... Still...poor Dash... oh who am I kidding, I'd do it all again."

"Remind me to never mess with you again!" Luna said, "So... are you going to follow up on that punishment of yours?"

Celestia laughed maniacally, "Oh you have no idea..."

Author's Note

Hope you all liked the story :twilightsmile:

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