Pinkie's twisted world

Chapters

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6

Chapter 1

Prologue:

"It seems like I’ve been drawing this out a bit too long. But now, it’s time!" Pinkie said with enthusiasm in her voice. Everything was quiet for a brief period of time after her voice stopped. Dash was just barely alive, hanging down from the wall right before her. The pegasus was unable to feel anything, her entire body numb from all the pain she had to endure. The only thing that was keeping her alive was the sick amount of adrenaline which was forced into her heart, denying her the sweet relief of death. Moments passed in which Pinkie just enjoyed all the despair and pain of her victim. It was so satisfying, chilling her blood in a way nothing else did.

Dash was starting to wonder what was going on, she slowly opened her eyes. For just a brief moment she hoped that, if she opened them, she would wake up back at her home and that this was just a horrible dream. This hope was shattered when her blurry vision started to sharpen. Right in front of her was still Pinkie; she was staring at Dash with her cold eyes. The pink pony picked up a butcher knife from the table and slowly approached her. Dash knew that this was certainly the last thing she was going to see, the only thing she could do now was... grin. Dash began to grin, and with the last bit of energy she whispered

"Goodbye Pinkie". Pinkie hesitated for a second, her eyes were filled with tears but she simply replied "Bye..."
Dash felt the slightest pressure on her breast, which was followed by maniacal laughter. "DIE, DIE, DIE" the pink pony screamed while furiously stabbing the knife into the Pegasus. Blood was pouring out on the surface, her pink mane slowly changed into a scarlet red. Even after she was sure that Dash was no longer alive she continued stabbing her, until she was too exhausted to proceed.

"That was number 12... I’ll never forget you, Rainbow Dash" she panted with a wide smile while the knife she held was dropped onto the ground. She didn't feel like cleaning up this mess now, so Pinkie decided to do the "paperwork" first. She entered a small room and closed the door behind her. On the wall in front of her were pictures of every single pony in Ponyville, some of them were already marked with a red "X". She walked past her "memorial wall", as she called it, and put her hoof inside a small box, pulling a small piece of paper out. Pinkie grinned when she saw what was written on it, the grin turned into maniacal laughter as she left the room, dropping the sheet of paper on the floor. Only one word was written on it... "Fluttershy"

Chapter 1:

Pinkie was slowly crawling out of her bed; the sun was still not raised by Celestia, which meant most of the ponies were still asleep, enjoying their dreams. Not so for the pink pony, but waking up this early was nothing new for her. She entered the bathroom and cleaned her face with some cold water, it was refreshing, but it didn't take away her exhaustion. She sighed as she made her way back into her room. Carefully picking up her little pet alligator and hugging him gently while she laid back down into her bed.

"What would I do without you? You're the only thing that keeps me sane at times like this" she whispered to her sleeping pet.

The door rang, which snapped Pinkie back into reality, how long was she laying there? She did not sleep, that was for sure. She was perfectly lucid since her nightmare. Pinkie looked outside her window and saw that the sun was already in the sky. She trotted down and answered door.

"Hey Pinkie, I was just here to tell you that I can't come to your party today, I need to visit the princess for a couple of days, royal business and stuff" Twilight said with a smile on her lips.

"Oh, yeah that's fine ... I wont be hosting a party today anyway." Pinkie responded with a yawn.

"Is something wrong? You seem tired"

"I'm supi dupi fine-i, thank you for your concern-ies" Pinkie trying to sound as cheerful as always.

"If you say so, and by the way I liked your curled hair more, you seem so ... depressed with straight hair, it just doesn't fit you," Twilight added while turning around and walking away.

"Its actually rather appropriate," She murmured to herself while trotting back inside.

“Maybe I should just tell Twilight, she would know what to do,” she thought. “No, I can't trouble others with my concerns; I'm supposed to make them happy, what kind of element of laughter am I if I make them sad?”

She had to deal with this on her own.

Pinkie was tired and drained; her urge to sleep was only blocked by the fears of experiencing another nightmare. She ducked and picked up a little book from under her bed.

The pony approached her desk, it was covered in a rather chaotic mess: balloons, streamers and a cupcake from yesterday were on it. She pushed these things aside to make herself some room, then she opened up a drawer and picked out a single quill in between all of her “party materials”

She opened up her book and started to write

“Day 12

This time it was one of my closest friends, Rainbow Dash. It was more vivid than ever. I couldn't control what I was doing, I was only able to watch myself torturing and killing Dashie. Worst of all I enjoyed it somehow, I tried so hard not to. But it felt so satisfying when “she” was tearing her flesh. I hate myself so much for feeling that way, and writing this down gets harder every day. But it reminds me of who I am and what I am supposed to be and feel like.
Please, someone make it stop”

Tears were streaming down from her face, they dropped onto the paper which made it wet, like so many times before.

She didn't know why this was happening. Why right now? And why her? It was unbearable, but there was nothing she could think of that could help her. It was almost like something inside of her was trying to break free.

A ringing doorbell disrupted her thoughts. She put her book quickly back under her bed and approached the door. A second before she opened it, a pegasus burst through it.

“Hey Pinkie, whatcha doin?” Dash said while flying inside.

Pinkies pupils dilated at the sight of the blue pegasus, memories of her nightmare were forced into her head. She was now standing in front of her friend again. Dash was fixated on a wall in front of her, immovable. Pinkie had a knife in her mouth and was now walking towards her. “No, No, No “she thought but her body refused to obey to her commands.

“Pinkie, PINKIE!” Dash shouted at her friend but there was no reaction, the pink pony started to hyperventilate. Her eyes weren't moving, it was like she was being dragged into another world, not aware of her surroundings anymore. “Hey snap out of it!” Dash demanded while shaking her.

It seemed to work, Pinkie was now looking around and her breathing normalized. The pink pony avoided Dash's gaze at any cost, afraid that she might get trapped into her own mind once more.

“What was that, Pinkie?” Dash asked with confusion in her voice

“Ehm, nothing, nothing at all.” Pinkie lied, she was afraid that Dash would hate her if she knew what was going on inside of her little head.

“You can't tell me that was nothing.”

“Well, it was,” it was a poor attempt at fooling Dash.

Dash realized that she was getting nowhere, so she lifted up Pinkies head until their eyes met.

“Kill her” Pinkie was told the second she saw the other pony. “Kill her and get it over with” the voice inside of her head told her. She tried to banish these thoughts but she couldn't. “Don't you wanna be the happy and cheerful Pinkie again? Kill her and you will be “

Teardrops formed inside of her wet eyes while she looked around her room, trying to find something sharp or heavy. Pinkie freed herself from Dash's grip and walked mindlessly towards her desk. The voice didn't stop commanding her; she could not take it any longer.

“Pinkie? What are you doing?” Dash was confused.

She picked up a knife from the table and turned around, facing the pegasus once again.

Dash was afraid now, “What is that mare doing?” she thought.

Pinkie was slowly approaching her with the knife in her hoof; she was in some kind of unconscious state, her body moved on its own. Dash's brain told her to run away. Seeing her friend in a situation like this made her own stomach twist. She had to do something to help her, what kind of element of loyalty would she be if she runs away now?

She gulped down her fears and walked towards Pinkie, still unsure what to do.
When Pinkie was right in front of her, it was out of pure instinct when Dash put her hooves around her and gently hugged her “Its okay” she said calmly.
The knife was dropped onto the ground by the pink earth pony. The embrace of her friend snapped Pinkie back into the real world.
For once, her mind was freed from all the twisted thoughts that tried to crawl up. She had no urge to harm Dash anymore.

“It's not okay Dash … It's not” Pinkie sobbed before starting to cry into the other mare's shoulders.

“Well, Dash seems like you're better at this stuff than you thought.” the cyan pegasus praised herself.
They sat there without saying anything. Rainbow was just trying to comfort Pinkie as best as she could.

After awhile Dash made an attempt to break the awkward silence “Feeling any better?”

“A bit...” Pinkie whispered as a response.

“Could you tell me what the hay is going on then?”

She nodded and tried to tell Dash, but no sound escaped her lips. Pinkie just couldn't find any way to tell her friend, too afraid of how she might react.

“So?” Dash was getting impatient.

Pinkie bit down on her lips, moving to her bed and picked up her little book again.
She hesitated for a moment before handing it to Dash. “And I am supposed to do what?” she asked with confusion in her voice.

"Read it, you dummy” Pinkie responded with the most honest smile she could put up right now.

Dash opened the first page and started reading

“Day #3

I'm not sure what is goin on, but I'm going to get all crazy if I don't tell anyone about my feelings... but I c....”

Before she could continue Pinkie interrupted her , “Please read it at home.. not now” she begged. Dash wanted to protest but then saw the desperate gaze Pinkie had.

“Ok” she simply said and closed the book. She couldn't wait to find out what was going on, but Dash would stay here as long as Pinkie needed her.

“So you're hungry?” Dash changed the topic

“Mhm” she nodded

“Well, I'm starving so lets get some food, my treat!" Dash suggested with a smile and started to head outside. Pinkie hesitated for a second before following her.

The Cakes were out for the weekend and Dash didn't want to ask Pinkie if she could bake something for them in a situation like this. Especially because she wouldn't be a great help herself, her cooking skills were modest at best, and baking? A smirk formed on her lips when she thought about what happened the last time she and Pinkie tried to bake something.

"What's so funny?" Pinkie asked her casually.

"Remember when we tried to make a cake for Twilight's birthday and the ingredients ended up on Rarity's hair?" Dash responded trying to contain her laugh

"Haha, yeah" Pinkie couldn't help but grin as she remembered that incident.

To her surprise her mood started to lighten up. The fresh air, the comforting sun and the companionship of a certain pegasus made it easier for her to cope with everything that was happening right now.

Chapter 2

The moon was starting to take over as Dash made her way back into the cloudhouse. She had spent the whole day with Pinkie: first they went to eat something, and then watched movies over at her place. Sure it was fun, but regardless the pegasus could not wait to get back home. She was eager to find out what the book Pinkie gave her was about. With one last dash she gently landed in front of her cloudhouse, pushing the door open to enter.

Immediately the fresh air filled her lungs, and calmed her heartbeat down. She didn't realize how exhausting the flight was, being too excited about reading Pinkies book. Dash stood there for a second to wait until her breathing normalized before she let herself fall onto the couch. Carefully opening the book Pinkie gave her, she began to read it.

"Day #3..."

Pinkie was now back in her room, all alone in the bakery she had time to think. "Was it really a good Idea to give Dash that book?" she asked herself, as she thought about how this all started...

"Hm, wonder why we haven't seen Rainbow Dash or Rarity yet, the competition is almost over" Applejack wondered while watching the best young flier's competition come to an end. A couple of seconds passed before the announcer spoke up once again "And now for our final competitors of the day Number 15! Ehm... and contestant number 4?"

“This is it! This is Dashie's turn" Pinkie thought and started to cheer for her, bouncing up and down while screaming out her name.

Rarity started with her show, Dash hesitated for a second before also starting. She did some basic flight moves at first and failed. Nopony paid any attention to her as their focus was on Rarity's gorgeous wings. The unicorn flew up to the sun, but suddenly her wings evaporated and nothing was keeping her airborne any longer. She proceeded to fall to the ground. Dash realized this and went after her, picking up as much speed as possible. She reached the speed barrier but did not stop, instead she proceeded to speed up further, breaking it and releasing a huge ring. The colours resembled those of a rainbow and were so vibrant that the whole crowd just watched in awe. Everypony thought that the Rainboom was just a legend, everypony except Pinkie. She had seen it before, but she could not figure out where.

Later that same day, when everypony was back at home, Pinkie thought about where she seen the sonic rainboom before. She kept thinking and thinking, rummaging around in the depths of her mind. When she suddenly remembered where she had seen it: It was back at her home, in the old rock farm she worked on.

"That was when the first time 'her' voice resounded in my head" Pinkie muttered before continuing to recap what has happened so far.

She continued to recall what had happened back then. All of a sudden she broke down and started to hyperventilate as images of her father, standing before her with a knife, manifested in her mind. Once she started to remember her eyes were filled with tears.

"Why did he have to scare me like that...? It was for my own good he said, but why..." Pinkie stammered while shredding tears as more and more memories forcefully made their way into the mind of the pink pony. It continued until Pinkie could not handle it anymore, closing her eyes and covering her ears with her hooves she started to scream, hoping that it will end. "So much for happiness, so much for Pinkie!" A voice echoed inside of her head, it sounded like herself but with a more depressive tone into it. "You cannot trust anypony, keep that in mind. Soon they will all prove to be disloyal towards you." with those words chiding inside of her head she cried herself to sleep.

Pinkie found herself waking up on the ground; her eyes were puffy and red from the dried tears. She carefully lifted herself up and trotted towards her bed, laying on it. "My friends would never betray me" she thought before drifting back into her dreams.

"Yes, they would never do such a thing" Pinkie murmured.

Several days after this incident nothing mentionable occurred, and Pinkie carried on as if that night never happened. She hid behind her fake happy demeanor, being careful not to make her friends worry any more than necessary about her. Pinkie's assumption, that her friends would never betray her, validated. Her friends never showed any sign of disloyalty. At least until her birthday. On that fateful day the pink pony, in an attempt to make herself feel better, threw a party, in this instance celebrating the birthday of her pet alligator. The party went swell and Pinkie was happy, but she still felt a void inside of her which she tried to fill with another party. This time however none of her friends seemed able, or for that matter, willing to attend.

That's when the voice inside of her head resounded once again "I told you they are not trustworthy, they just wait for the best moments to hurt you! Its all secret and lies with those ponies, you call friends!"

"No, its not! They must have a reason for avoiding me..." she struggled with herself, even though she knew that inner voice of her was right.

"Oh really? This is the time to find out, the cyan pegasus, which you call "Dashie", is flying right above us" With those words resounding inside of her mind she lifted up her head and locked on to Dash with her eyes.

"WAIT!" she screamed out before following her. Rainbow however sped up upon seeing that the Pinkie was right behind her. A long chase ensued, and ended up with Dash flying inside of Applejacks barn, Pinkie demanded admittance. Applejack but refused to let her in and told her that there was nothing interesting going on, however the farmer pony was probably the worst liar in all of Equestria, so it was easy for Pinkie to figure out that she was lying. After realizing that she was getting nowhere, she trotted back towards her home.

"I told you they're all just playing with you, waiting to betray and hurt you the most."

This time Pinkie did no attempt in trying to stand up for her friends. The evidence was just too overwhelming. She concluded that the voice inside of her was right. There was no pony she could trust. That was the moment when Pinkie became tainted; her mind was not able to function properly as it normally did. Everything she thought about had a dark intonation to it, always assuming the worst of her friends.

Later that same night, despite learning that her friends had good reason for keeping her in the dark, Pinkie still found herself being paranoid about the ones around her. She was confused, she was lost and what was most important, she was alone.

The earth pony made her way up into the room, having a bad case of headache she immediately laid down onto her bed. "Stop being stupid Pinkie! Your friends love you; they never did and never will betray you. They would never want to see you hurt" she commanded herself, trying to believe in what she just thought as hard as she could. It worked; she persuaded herself that her friends would never deliberately hurt her. Happy that she was able to suppress the paranoia, Pinkie drifted into her dreams, hoping that she could find peace and rest there.

She was wrong...

Chapter 3

Pinkie was able to remember every single nightmare she had since that night, the first ones were rather harmless. She dreamed about herself working in the rock farm again, because she was expelled from ponyville by her friends. Nevertheless the pink pony never lost faith in them. She always talked herself into believing that those were just dreams, and were in no way connected to reality. But as time flew by the dreams got worse and worse. One, in particular, summoned first doubts about the loyalty of her friends.

It was the seventh day after her nightmares started. She did not sleep for three days because she was too scared about what she could experience if she would do so. But the exhaustion got to her as she fell asleep against every attempt to stay awake.

Pinkie was standing right in front of Carousel Boutique; she was having an appointment with Rarity. Walking inside, she took a glimpse at the white unicorn and saw that she was busy talking to another pony. Not wanting to impose she sat down on a chair and waited.

"Oh hello Pinkie, what are you here for?" Rarity asked once she saw that Pinkie was waiting.

"Oh hi Rarity! You told me that you have a special dress only for me, remember?"

With those words being said the unicorn burst into laughter. Several seconds passed before she spoke up again
"Oh Darling. How would you get the Idea that I would make anything for YOU?"

"But, but you said that..." Pinkie stammered, being shocked at the answer she just received

"To be clear, I do not work for the kind of pony you are. Now, hush, get out. I have work to do"

Everything around her started to dissolve into darkness. A voice inside of her head echoed "She really is generous, isn't she? But don't worry. You'll get your own pretty dress in due time."

A couple of seconds passed before Pinkie found herself being in Fluttershy's cottage, she was here because she hurt herself and wanted the yellow pegasus to take a look at it.

"Fluttershy? Are you here?" she exclaimed while observing the room around her.

"Uhm, yes... Who is it?" a timid voice called and Fluttershy appeared, walking down the stairs from her room.

"It's me, Pinkie! I fell down today and hurt myself, it's bleeding a lil bit and so I figured I let you inspect it, because your kind of an expert, aren't you?"

"Haahaha. Pinkie you really are stupid! Are you too retarded to walk straight or why did you fell down? Stupid little pony"

"No... I just..." she started but Fluttershy laughter made it impossible for her to finish.

Once again, everything around her vanished into darkness, and 'her' voice resounded "Her kindness really IS unrivalled, isn't it? You should make her bleed aswell!"

"Hey there, Sugarcube. Are ya feelin mighty fine again?" the farmer pony asked when she saw that her friend was now conscious again

"Uhm, yes I'm feeling good, what happened?" Pinkie wondered while rubbing her head, she was feeling pretty woozy and confused about why she was in Applejacks barn.

"I hav' no buckin Idea, but now that ya feel better again, could ya leave my property?" Applejack replied with a harsh tone. When her friend simply stared at her and raised an eyebrow she spoke up again "Ya heard me right, miss. Get off ma property!"

"But, I thought we were friends!" Pinkie argued

"Oh, for goodness sake. I was lying the whole time; I can't stand ya not the tiniest bit. You and ya'r silly parties can buck right off and never come back again"

"This is just a joke isn't it?" Pinkie sobbed out

Applejack turned around, facing the other pony now. Their gaze's met and locked onto each other. "As the element of Honesty and stuff, I swear, Pinkie Pie swear even. That I never, ever liked you"

Pinkie closed her eyes, not wanting to believe what Applejack just said to her. "Oh, so much for Honesty... Let me think, who is next?" 'She' laughed inside of Pinkie's

Moments later Pinkie was trotting alongside Dash, they were on their way to Zecora's hut, which was located in the everfree forest.

"So why are we doing this, Dashie?" Pinkie asked while bouncing up and down next to the cyan pegasus

"I crashed into Twilights bookshelves again and she has to clean it up now, the least I could do was to get her the book she needed from Zecora" Dash replied with a sigh

"Mhm. Okie Dokie L-" the pink pony fell down a hole before she was able to finish her response. The hole was not deep enough to cause any major injuries, but it was slowly filling itself up with dirt. Pinkie was barely able to move her hooves now, because of the added weight of the soil.

"Dash! Help me, get me out of here!" Pinkie cried out while frantically trying to move her hooves.

"No can do. I have places to be. See you around- or not!" Dash stated with a maniac laughter.

The hole was now rapidly filling with mud and Pinkie desperately tried to breath, but soon the dirt covered her mouth and she was not able to see anything anymore. "My, my that's what I call loyalty! You should make her suffocate on her own blood!"

Pinkie felt how the weight on her began to fade. Opening her eyes, she realized that she was now in the library and all of her so called friends gathered around the pink pony.

"Pinkie Pie" Twilight spoke up

"Yes?" she replied with a weak voice, not having the strength to be any louder after all that she just experienced

"We have decided that you are no longer our friend." the lavender unicorn announced with a cold voice.

"Why?" Pinkie wanted to hear the reasoning behind this decision.

"Why? WHY?" her friends broke into laughter. "Oh it's easy, without laughter there can't be any friendship. And you are no longer qualified to represent the element of laughter" Dash stated dryly and everypony around her started to fade away and only she was left, standing alone in the darkness.

"Oh poor Pinkie Pie, what's the matter? Why aren't you laughing or atleast smiling" 'her' voice chided inside of her head.

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"Me? I am doing nothing, I'm just an observant. It's your so called friends which left you all alone; after all I'm still here with you, am I not? Now come on! Smile!" With those words resounding inside of her mind Pinkie was forced a smile. She tried not to but her body moved on her own and created a smile on her lips, while in contrary her eyes were dropping tears of despair.

"Oh, don't worry. I will teach you how to smile and be happy again."

Pinkie awoke with a gasp, she was sweating and her pillow was wet from her tears which streamed down from her red eyes.

"It just got worse and worse" Pinkie said, she could still remember every single dream she had from that day forth. It still made her stomach twist and created an urge to vomit whenever she thought about those nightmares. Yet, she liked it. That was what made her sick the most, she enjoyed it. She liked thinking about the dreams because it sent waves of pleasure throughout her entire body.

They were all similar; 'she' was torturing another pony. First it were complete strangers, then family, and most recently even her best friends. Pinkie had no control over her body in this dreams, she was nothing more than an observant. Yet, she always tried to stop it, just to wake up or make her body obey to her again, because she was disgusted, not by all the blood which the dreams contained, or the desperate screams of her victims. She was mostly disgusted by herself, by what she felt during the whole procedure.

"Stop denying it Pinkie, you like what I do in your dreams as much as I do, after all I AM you" 'her' voice told her

"No, I am not like you"

"Stop lying to yourself, you can fool everyone but me. I know what your heart desires; you will have to give in sooner or later. Why not just accept it? It's your inevitable personality"

=====

Once Dash finished reading the book, which was given to her by Pinkie. The cyan pegasus was in denial, she did not want to believe what she just read. Pinkie, one of the most juvenile and innocent ponies she knew, had those kind of twisted dreams? It made no sense to her. Why did she have them?

Then a realization hit Dash. Pinkie was dealing with these tainted dreams all alone? Why didn't she tell her sooner? She had to go and help her cope with this, questions could be asked later.

Getting on her hooves, she rapidly burst through her door towards Sugarcube Corner. Almost everypony had gone to bed, and the moon was high in the sky, illuminating her way through the sleepy town. She arrived at the bakery in a matter of minutes and gently landed in front of the door.

"Pinkie? Are you awake?" she called while knocking at the door.

A couple of seconds passed before the door was answered. Pinkie opened the door slightly to see who it is, upon recognizing its Dash she let her in.

"Pinkie... I just finished reading the book you gave me." Dash explained as she trotted inside

"Oh, that's great" Pinkie responded dryly.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner what was going on? I could've helped you! You don't have to go through this alone, that's what I, as a friend, am here for"

"Oh, that's good to know. But Dash you should really take a nap now, you seem tired"

"Take a nap?" Dash asked in confusion.

Suddenly Pinkie hit Rainbow's head with the backside of a knife, making her fall into unconsciousness

"Good work, now bring her to the basement. You know what to do? After all, we had enough practice in our dreams, didn't we?"

Pinkie grabbed Dash's body and brought her down the cellar. Step by step, careful not to hurt her on her way down. She prepared everything already; hook and knife both were lying right next to her. She struggled as she placed her on the table.

Picking up a knife, she readied herself to make a firm cut. But hesitated before doing so. She made another attempt, but couldn't go through it again.

"Silly little Pinkie you have grown colder, time for Pinkamena to take over. Let me finish the job you have started."

Pinkie did no try to fight it this time. She just let it happen, not being able to hold out any longer in the agony she was in.

Her eyes suddenly changed, from her usual blue, wide with joy filled eyes into red, bloodshot and cold eyes which were not indicating any emotion she was feeling.

She poured the neck, making an incision. When her victim opened her eyes in shock

"Pinkie?"

Chapter 4

Dash's pupils dilated at the sight in front of her: One of her best friends was standing next to her, in her hooves she held a knife, which blade was soaked in blood. The cyan pegasus was wondering where the blood came from, she looked down onto her body and saw a small injury she had on her neck. Tiny amounts of blood were escaping from the wound, dripping down along her chest. She felt a stinging pain; luckily the incision was not deep enough to cause any damage to her throat. Still, the fact that Pinkie was able to harm her confused the pegasus to no end.

No words were exchanged between the two ponies for a long time, both just staring into each other’s eyes, trying to assess the situation. Recovering from the initial shock when she woke up, Dash was now finally able to open her mouth to say something.

"Pinkie, what did you do?" the cyan pegasus asked with an unsteady voice, not wanting to believe that her friend would be able to do that.

Pinkie seemed to be as confused as Dash; she observed the room around her as she slowly acquired awareness of what was happening. She looked at her friend. Upon seeing the incision the pegasus had on her neck, Pinkie immediately inspected her own hooves; The pink pony gasped as she saw the blood tainted blade she wielded. Instantly, she threw it away and stared at her hooves in disgust "What have I done? What have I done? I lost my focus, and now my friend is hurt."

Dash spoke up once again "Pinkie, what did you do?" her voice had no hint of anger in it, the opposite was the case, it carried concern.

"How could she not be angry with me? It's not the kind of thing that normal ponies do. What do I say? I need to apologize but I don't know what to say. I was trying to kill her..." Pinkie did not understand, but she owed her an answer.

"Dashie... I... I," Pinkies voice cracked as she broke down into tears "I'm so sorry... I don't know what came over me. I'm so so so so so so so so so so sorry," she apologized, falling onto her knees and wiping away the tears which streamed down from her face.

The pegasus was standing on her hooves again, approaching the crying mare with silent steps.

"Pinkie, it's okay, I know that you would never do such a thing intentionally,” Dash said with a calm voice, trying to solace her friend.

"But I did... I hurt you...," Pinkie sobbed out

Dash was slowly closing the gap between her and the pink pony, once she was directly in front of her Pinkie spoke up again.

"Get away Dashie... Please... I don't deserve any sympathy or friends..."

"I don't care, I am your friend whether you want it or not," Dash replied with a smile and sat down next to her.

"Thanks," Pinkie whispered as she leaned her head onto the cyan pegasus' shoulder

They sat there without saying anything for a couple of minutes. Pinkie had stopped crying by now and took a glimpse at the injury Dash had.

"You should at least let me bandage that," she stated.

Dash simply nodded and trotted behind her as she moved upstairs, picking up a bandage and continuing to walk up into her room. Once she arrived she instructed Dash to sit down and began wrapping the bandage around her neck. The wound was bleeding quite profusely, and Pinkie couldn't help but feel guilty. Realizing that her friend was twitching her eyes slightly every time the bandage touched the wound, she was not able to hold back her tears any longer. Pinkie just felt dreadful about what happened, and how did she let herself in? "Look at the damage you caused you dumb, mean pony"

"I'm sorry," she apologized again, knowing that it wouldn't be enough to make up for her deeds, but it was the only thing she could do.

"Don't mind it, Pinkie. I know that you’re sorry. I told you its fine, forget about it"

"I can't... I feel so horrible about it. I hate myself because of that," Pinkie conceded

"That's a pity" Dash replied

"Why?"

"Because I love you," Dash stated. Immediately upon realizing what she just said, her eyes portrayed shock. What was she thinking when she said that? That was so unfitting. She tried to think of an excuse for why she used those words. "A joke? A pun? Oh my gosh why did I say that"

Before Dash was able come up with a cover for why she said that, Pinkie interrupted her thoughts

"What?" she asked, her mouth was hanging ajar, and her huge blue eyes were staring directly into Dash's.

"Oh the hay with it" Rainbow thought before responding "I said I like you Pinkie... really like you"

Pinkie recalled these words dozens of time in her mind until the realization finally hit her. "Dash likes me!" Every single cell in her entire body was full of joy, every single one of her tainted thoughts had instantly vanished, and replaced with giddiness. She felt like her heart was going to break through her chest, and all of her enthusiasm returned.

"Oh DASHIE!" She yelled while jumping onto the pegasus. She caught her off-guard and this resulted in both of them lying on the ground, Pinkie tightly hugging her.

"Pinkie - too much enthusiasm" Dash said, trying to free from the unexpectedly strong grip of the earth pony.

"Oh, sorry" Pinkie giggled, and released Dash from her embrace.

Several minutes passed in which no words were spoken, both of the ponies trying to assess the situation, everything had happened so fast that it felt surreal.

"Dashie?" Pinkie broke the silence

"Yea?"

"I dunno how you can love me after the things I've done, but thank you. I'm really lucky to have somepony like you"

"No prob, besides this is just a phase you will overcome and everything will go back to normal, and I'll help you on ya way"

"Really?"

"Promise"

"Than-" Pinkie let out a yawn "k you"

"Hey enough with the thanking already, that's what I'm here for." Dash said, after a few seconds she added "You should get some sleep, you seem pretty tired"

"Nah I'm fine" Pinkie lied

"I don't think you are, no excuses go get some sleep." Dash admonished her

"But..."

"Hey chill out, I'm here, nothing can happen to you."

"Okie Dokie, if you say so Dashie" the pink pony agreed and bounced onto her bed, sinking into the soft mattress.

Dash made her way onto the guest bed which Pinkie had; they had a lot of sleepovers here. The cyan pegasus couldn't help but smile as she remembered how much fun they had the last time when they snuck into Twilight's house and scared the living daylights out of the purple unicorn.

"Pinkie, you asleep yet?"

"No, are you?"

"Pinkie... How often do I need to tell you that I don't speak while I sleep" Dash sighed out

"Oh yea, whatcha want?"

"Nothing, just wanted say g'night"

"Night, Dashie"

With those words being said the room lapsed into silence. Pinkie realized how tired she was and closed her eyes. She had a good feeling about getting some sleep for the first time in weeks, and it didn’t take long for her to do so.

Pinkie opened her eyes, and realized that the whole room was shrouded in darkness.

"Welcome back to my domain" that particular voice echoed.

Chapter 5

Pinkie found herself standing in a room shrouded in darkness, the sight around her seemed familiar and she already suspected what was going to happen soon. She gulped down her fears and started to aimlessly trot around, hoping to find something that would clarify her current predicament. The air was thick and moist, which was the reason for the searing pain she felt in her throat with every breath she took. As her eyes started to adjust themselves to the lack of light around her, she was able to familiarize herself more and more of her surroundings, if there had been any. The entire room seemed empty; around her was nothing except lurking darkness. Pinkie was about to give up when she glimpsed a shimmer of light. She started to walk towards it. Upon realizing what the light was shining on it was already too late to return: Everything which was not in the glow of the spotlight vanished into the void, trapping her inside it. On her left hoofside there was a little table with familiar tools on it, and in front of her a yellow pegasus was shackled to the wall, unable to move a single muscle, her eyes and mouth covered with a tape.

"You ready for some fun?"

With those words echoing the room, Pinkie lost control over her body once again. She was trapped in her own body, a mere spectator who had no control over her movements. There was no feeling she hated more, having to watch herself torture her friends while powerless to stop it.

"No, don't hurt Shy!" Don't you dare!" Pinkie started pleading with herself. But as soon as she thought of it, time seemed to lapse forward and she was already in front of her friend with a blood-stained knife in her mouth. A maniacal laughter filled the room, HER laughter. Pinkie felt a smile formed on her face, her hoof slowly moving towards Fluttershy's neck, as if possessed. An Inch before the knife touched the firm skin of the chained Pegasus, she stopped. Pinkie let of a sigh of relief, thinking that it would end here without anypony getting hurt.

"What fun would it be if we can't see her expression during the harvest?"

As soon as those words were said, Pinkie removed the tape, uncovering her mouth first. Fluttershy immediately let out a scream filled with raw fear, which pierced through Pinkie's head. She waited until the scream faded before uncovering her eyes as well.

The gaze of the pegasus instantly fell upon Pinkie, she felt relieved when she recognized her friend and not some crazy pony. Yet, Fluttershy still had a feeling of unease. The eyes of the pink pony seemed different, they weren't the big, blue with joy and naivety filled one's she usually had, they were cold, emotionless and bitter. Her mane also was different: it was straight instead of curled up and poufy. Nevertheless, it was Pinkie, one of her best friends, was she not?

"Pinkie?" Fluttershy asked with doubt in her voice "Could you help me out of here please?" she asked

"Sorry, I can't do that Shy!" Pinkie joyfully exclaimed

"What? But... why?" the shackled pegasus asked, her fears were returning

"Duh, because you would just run away and I would have to catch you and that would waste too much time, and we don't have a lot of time."

"Not enough time for what?" Fluttershy stammered with an unsteady voice

"For all the fun we’re going to have!" the pink pony announced before stabbing the knife she had in her mouth, deep into the firm flesh of the pegasus.

Fluttershy let out an agonizing cry, the cold metal was slowly making a circular cut around her beloved cutie mark. After several seconds of intense pain her scream died out, she was too confused to say anything, the pain she received was unlike anything she ever felt before. Her vision started to turn blurry as Pinkie finished with the cut, throwing the piece of meat on the table.

"Oh Fluttershy, what's wrong? Are you getting sleepy? Let me sing you a song!"
Pinkie picked up the butcher knife and started to sing:

All you have to do is take some rope and tether, tie her by the flank
Now just cut a little bit of meat, not feathers break of the wings, just a yank

With those lines she hacked the butcher knife deep into the bone of the yellow pegasus's wing, causing her to scream out in pain once again.

Making these treats is such a cinch, add a teaspoon of maxilla
Take a filly for, her friends abhor and you never get your fill off...
CUPCAKES, so sweet and tasty
CUPCAKES, don't be too hasty
CUPCAKES... cupcakes, cupcakes, CUPCAKES!

As Pinkie finished with the song, her victim was barely conscious, all the excruciating pain she experienced was too much for her to handle. She was heavily panting and sweating, and tears of despair and agony were dripping down from her eyes.

"I'm so sorry Fluttershy... I'm a monster, I don't deserve friends like you" Pinkie thought, she just wanted it all to end.

"Humph, you didn't hold out very long, very well our time is nearly over anyway" Pinkie stated with disappointment in her voice.

The pink pony was approaching her friend once more, this time she aimed at her neck for the final incision, when she stood before her Fluttershy spoke up.

"You are…" before she could continue, a metal taste came up her throat and she coughed out some blood. Despite her severe injuries, she tried to take some breath's to continue, it took her a while but she finally gathered enough air to speak up again.

"You are not Pinkie"

"Yes, I am, silly!" Pinkie replied, slightly confused at the statement

"No you are not! Pinkie would never... do such a thing" Fluttershy said in an outrage.

Pinkie just shrugged "Whatever, your time is over anyway" with those words being said she stabbed the knife in Fluttershy's throat, causing her to frantically gasp for air. A couple of seconds later she was dead, blood still dripping down from her throat.

Pinkie stood there, her mane coated in blood, enjoying the waves of pleasure that flowed through her entire body. The feeling was incomparable with anything else she’d ever experienced, knowing that by her hoof, she slaughtered one of her so called friends for the sake of justice. She could not wait until she could harvest the next one of her friends. That reminded her; she still had to decide who was next.

Dropping the knife she held, she headed to a small room next to her basement. Trotting past her "memorial wall" she drew a cross on the picture of Fluttershy. "Only Rarity, Twilight and Applejack left" she murmured to nopony in particular and put her hoof inside of the box, pulling out a sheet of paper. "Oh, interesting, a Unicorn. I wonder how much fun it's going to be when I rip off her horn" Pinkie laughed.

Pinkie's eyes burst open, the images of Fluttershy's lifeless body still circling around in her head. The blood stained face of the lovely pegasus, and herself laughing right in front of her. These images sickened her and she rushed to the bathroom, vomiting as she recalled more and more of her disturbing nightmare.

Dash started to shift between her wonderful dreamland into reality. As she became aware of the various sounds which escaped from the bathroom, she woke up. Realizing that Pinkie was no longer next to her, she concluded that it must be her.

Knocking at the door, she called "Pinkie, are you alright?"

But she received no answer, the only thing Dash was able to hear were the sounds of somepony sobbing.

The pegasus opened the door, seeing Pinkie lying over the lavatory, crying.

"I killed her, I killed Fluttershy." Pinkie sobbed out

"No you did not, it was just a dream."

"But it was my dream, I killed her. How do I know if I'm not going to do it in reality aswell?" she added, more tears were now streaming down her face.

"Pinkie listen," Dash stated "The pony you see in your dreams is not you. It may look like you, but she is nothing alike the Pinkie I know. You are always kind and try to cheer up your friends; you would never, ever hurt them. You understand me?"

"It's not me?" Pinkie thought. "Fluttershy said it wasn’t me..." she was confused at this statement, it was clearly herself who was standing in front of her, yet Fluttershy did not want to believe it, and now Dash also says that she isn’t me... "Maybe because it isn’t me?" The thought of this sent a feeling of relief through her entire body. If Fluttershy thinks that it's not her, maybe she is right! Maybe she is normal after all!

The pink pony nodded wiping away her tears. "Maybe you are right..." she said

"I know I am" Dash responded

Pinkie suddenly changed the topic "Dashie, can you come and visit Fluttershy with me?"

"Huh? Why?"

"Just come with me please, I don't wanna go alone"

Dash wanted to protest but how could she refuse a plea from such a pony? She let out a sigh and slowly rose to her hooves.

"Thankies" Pinkie said and gave her a kiss on her cheek.

"Yea, yea no prob" Dash stated and reluctantly flapped her wings, making her way downstairs, Pinkie following closely behind her.

"What do you want from Fluttershy anyway?" Dash asked casually.

"Oh I just wanna make sure she’s fine and thank her"

"Thank her?" Dash raised an eyebrow

"For trusting me" Pinkie replied with a joyful tone

Dash did not quite understand what Pinkie meant, but decided not to inquire any further.

It was a rainy morning; just a couple of rays of sunlight were able to peak through the layer of clouds above them. As they made their way to Fluttershy's cottage, not many ponies were to be seen. The streets were relatively empty, apart from the few pegasi which were keeping the storm tame.

The path to Fluttershy's cottage was veiled in silence for the most part, apart from a few yawns' which escaped the cyan pegasus’ mouth when no words were exchanged.

As they arrived at the home of the timid pegasus the rain started to fade and the sun was beginning to shine through the clouds, embracing the ponies’ wet fur with a comforting and warm sunlight.

Pinkie approached the door knocking with her hoof. A couple of seconds later Fluttershy opened it.

"Oh, hey Pi-" she let out a squeak as Pinkie surprised her with a tight hug.

After Pinkie released the blushing pegasus from her embrace, she spoke up

"Thank you, Shy!" with a sweet smile.

"Uhm... what for?" Fluttershy stammered, still blushing

"For being such a good friend" she simply responded

"Oh, uhm... no problem" the pegasus said hiding coyly behind her mane.

Suddenly, Fluttershy let out another squeak when the sound of thunder was to be heard.

"Ohhh... That reminds me, I have to help keep the storm tamed today" Dash sighed "Pinkie are you fine with staying at Fluttershy for an hour or two?"

"I think so..." Pinkie responded

"Okay, sorry again. I'll be back at soon as possible. Bye Fluttershy" the cyan pegasus said before dashing off.

"Uhm, Pinkie? Do you wanna come in?" Fluttershy asked, opening the door further.

Pinkie obliged the pegasus and stepped inside, avoiding looking at the pegasus who was leading her way.

"Are you hungry, or do you want anything to drink?" the timid pegasus offered. Pinkie shook her head as a response.

A couple of minutes passed with both of them just sitting in the tiny living room of Fluttershy's cottage, no words being exchanged.

"Is something wrong, Pinkie?" Fluttershy broke the silence.

"No, no everything is fine" Pinkie lied looking at the ground.

"Are you sure? If something is bothering you, I’m always here for you" she stammered

The pink pony was smiling as she heard that statement. First Dashie now Fluttershy, she was really lucky to have friends like them. She should let them know how rip off her flesh

"What was that? Oh no, please not" Pinkie thought expecting the worst.
A sudden urge to harm Fluttershy came over her; she started sweating as she was struggling with herself.

"Pinkie?"

It was out of pure instinct when Pinkie lifted her head and gazed directly into the concerned eyes of the pegasus.

The urge became unbearable; Pinkie could no longer fight it. She stood up looking at Fluttershy. Suddenly she ran out of the cottage, heading not towards ponyville but the everfree forest.

===============

Authors note:

The underlined song I used is not mine, I read it in a reddit comment somewhere, and unfortunately I can’t find it anymore...

Chapter 6

Pinkie ran like she never ran before, she was already deep inside the Everfree Forest. Yet, she did not intend to stop, she tried to outrun everything, running kept her occupied, hoping that it would also keep her sane. Pinkie wanted to leave everything behind, her nightmares and her fears of hurting her friends.

After what felt like an eternity she stopped due to her exhaustion: her heart was beating in an rapid pace and her head pounded profusely, and the wet fur she had combined with the lashing winds made Pinkie shiver frantically.

She sat down, leaning against a nearby tree, the rain pouring down on her mercilessly,she hoped that it would wipe away her tears.

====

Meanwhile Fluttershy ran around in confusion and panic, she had no idea what just happened. She didn't even know what to do right now, call her friends? No.... Pinkie ran towards the Everfree Forest, which meant that time is of the essence.

Fluttershy gulped. She concluded that the only thing she could do was to go after her... which meant inside of the everfree forest. The pegasus took a deep breath before flapping her wings and flying the same path Pinkie ran.

Fluttershy's wings were beating in an rapid pace, she could take a glimpse at various creatures while rushing through the forest. She was flying around aimlessly now, the tracks of Pinkie were no longer visible, and she had no clue where to go. Fluttershy nearly gave up when until she heard the sound of somepony silently sobbing.

"Pinkie? Is that you?" she stammered

Pinkie turned her head in a rapid motion when she heard her name being called. ”What is she doing here? She should just stay away from me”.

Fluttershy stared at the pink pony, her huge eyes full of concern, not having the slightest idea what was going on in the brain of her friend. “Pinkie we should really get back, it’s not safe here,” she pleaded.

“I can’t go back with you,” Pinkie replied with a low voice

“Why?”

“I just can’t , I don’t want to hurt you”

Fluttershy was confused at that statement. Why would Pinkie want to hurt her? Isn’t she her friend?

“You don't have to worry, you would never hurt a friend of yours,” Fluttershy said with reassuring smile.

“How can you be so sure? How can anypony be so sure?” she replied with a despairing voice

“Because you care for your friends and I know you only want to see them happy, you would never hurt them on purpose”

"I do care deeply for you, all of you. Yet, I still hurt Dashie, who can assure me this wont happen again?”

Pinkies thoughts were interrupted by a distant roar. She looked at Fluttershy and figured that she was as clueless as herself regarding the sound they have just heard.

Suddenly a huge shadow formed around Pinkie. She turned around and saw that an Ursa had approached them.

“Fluttershy, run!” she screamed before running away.

Fluttershy had the advantage of having wings, which was why she was a lot faster than the wild Predator. Pinkie however had to stay with her hooves on the ground, which wouldn’t be that much of a problem because she's a fast runner, but in the forest the ground was rough. That was her calamity, she tripped over a loose branch and fell, not being able to get on her hooves in time to escape. It seemed to be her inevitable fate to die here, when all of a sudden Fluttershy appeared and grabbed the earth pony, trying to get away.

Unfortunately she was not fast enough as the Ursa lunged out for a crushing blow. He was able to hit Fluttershy in her desperate attempt of flying away with Pinkie. His razor sharp claws cut deep into her back.

The pegasus fell down along with Pinkie, hitting her head as she landed on the hard soil.

“Fluttershy?” Pinkie shook her firmly but the pegasus gave no response. The pink pony concluded that she must be unconscious.

”I have to save her, this is my fault in the first place. I have to get Fluttershy out of here alive.”

Pinkie tried to think of a solution, futile. She gazed onto the pegasus and saw that blood was dripping out of her injury. The vibrant red of the blood caused Pinkie's eyes to dilate, and sent her into a trance. Everything around her seemed to vanish and the only thing she could see was the scarlet red liquid that escaped the torn flesh of her friend. This sight caused her heartbeat to accelerate, and her brain was not able to process anything else.

The Ursa was now approaching the two ponies, his mouth already watering up when he thought about the delicious dinner he just found. He was standing in front of them now, Pinkie still staring at Fluttershy’s wound, not even aware of the fact that they are going to die if she didn't do anything.

The predator closed in for the kill and swiped with all of his might, but he didn’t hit anything.

Dash saved them in the last second, she heard the roar which escaped the Ursa’s mouth and figured that Pinkie and Fluttershy had to be there since she didn’t find them at the cottage. She was carrying Fluttershy on her back and held Pinkie with her hooves.

Pinkie slowly returned to reality, she inspected her surroundings, and realized that she was in the Everfree Forest, flying.

As her mind processed what had happened she remembered that Fluttershy was hurt.

“Dash you gotta get Shy to the hospital!” she exclaimed with a worried tone.

Dash didn't reply but simply nodded.

====

Several minutes passed until they arrived at the hospital, Dash dropped Pinkie and carried Fluttershy into the entrance hall, after a couple of seconds filled with the usual questions, she checked her in.

Dash followed the nurse into the room Fluttershy was brought into. Pinkie was trotting closely behind.

“Is she going to be alright?” Dash asked upon entering the room.

“I can’t tell right now, but it doesn't look too severe” the nurse replied inspecting the wounds.

Dash felt a huge weight being lifted from her, she felt so guilty for leaving Pinkie and Fluttershy alone. How could she have been so stupid?

“It seems like I was right, her wounds are deep but her vital organs were unharmed. I’ll just need to disinfect her wounds so they don't become inflamed.” the nurse said walking out of the room.

“Phew, that's good to hear, isn’t it Dashie?” Pinkie walked next to the cyan pegasus.

Dash did not respond, she didn't even bother to look at Pinkie. She was feeling reluctance towards the pink pony.

“Is something wrong?” Pinkie asked, but again Dash gave no sign of acknowledgment

“Hey Dashie, I’m talking to you!”

“Pinkie,” Dash replied with a calm voice “were you the one who did that to Fluttershy?”

Pinkie’s eyes widened in shock as she heard the question she was just asked, how should she respond to this? It was her fault after all, and she also wanted to hurt her.

“Pinkie, was it you who hurt Fluttershy?” Dash asked again, this time she was not able to maintain the same calmness in her voice.

“Not exactly...” she answered coyly

“What do you mean with not exactly?”

“It was my fault that she got hurt, because I ran away from her but I was scared to hurt her even though I didn't want to hurt her, but I had this urge I couldn’t withstand any longer, and that's why I ran out from her cottage into the Everfree Forest. But she came after me and asked me what happened and I didn’t want to tell her because I didn’t want her to hate me, and then this Ursa appeared and we ran away but I tripped over something and then...” Pinkie stopped as she remembered what happened, she was already on the verge of tears

“What happened then?”

“She... she tried to save me but got hit. Oh it’s all my fault, I don’t even deserve to have been saved by her after what I wanted to do. I bet she regrets that she came after me” Pinkie sobbed out

“Oh thank Celestia.” Dash stated, dropping herself onto the bed where Fluttershy was laying.

“I was so scared that it was you who did that, I’m so relieved.”

Pinkie didnt respond, she avoided any eye contact with the rainbow maned pegasus

“I’m sorry Pinkie, I should’ve trusted you.” she apologized

“That’s not it. It is still my fault that Fluttershy got hurt, I hope she can forgive me”

“I wouldn’t worry about that. I bet Fluttershy would save you again without any hesitation, that’s just how she is.”

“I hope you’re right”

“Hey, I've known her since she was a filly, I’m sure of it.” Dash stated and smiled at her unconscious friend.

What followed was a long period of silence, both of them just laid around and thought, which was unusual for them since both were typically active and juvenile ponies.

The silence was disturbed by a nurse who walked into the room “Sorry, the visiting hours are over”

“Can’t we stay here for the night? I don't want Fluttershy to wake up alone, she will be confused and worried” Dash asked politely

“I’m sorry can’t do that,” the nurse replied

“Pretty please?” Pinkie begged

The nurse was caught off guard with this plea, after a couple of seconds she sighed “Oh what the hay, but just one of you. I’ll get in enough trouble if they find one of you.”

Dash thought about it for a second before wondering “Pinkie, are you fine with me staying here for the night, I don’t want to leave Fluttershy alone here”

“Uhm... sure I’ll be fine” she replied, whereupon Dashie gave her a quick kiss on the cheek

With those words being said the nurse guided Pinkie out of the hospital. Dash moved the second patient bed next to Fluttershy and jumped on it.

”What a day” she thought ”At least it turned out alright - kind of”. She was so relieved at the fact that Fluttershy wasn't severely hurt, and that Pinkie wasn't the one who did it. She would have no idea what to do if either of that would’ve been the case. She loved Pinkie, for sure, but Dash also knew Fluttershy since she was a filly and the timid pegasus was like a sister to her, the thought of her being hurt by Pinkie was unbearable.

====

Pinkie arrived at sugarcube corner, she unlocked the front door and trotted inside. The bakery was empty and dark inside, and with the Cake’s still being on vacation she was all alone. Pinkie hated being alone.

A long yawn indicated her exhaustion, it was a long day after all, but Pinkie didn’t want to go to sleep, for obvious reasons. Yet, she decided to hit the hay, fighting it was useless anyway, she had to sleep sooner or later.

Pinkie quickly fell asleep and shifted worlds hoping that she may find rest this night.

She did not.

She woke up in a familiar environment, everything was dark and dusty, which she was getting used to by now.

This time she was not sad, no this time she was angry. She could not take it any longer, it was everywhere, destroying her life, her dreams, everything. Why couldn’t it just end?!

Why can't I escape this hell?
So many times I’ve tried
But I’m still caged inside

Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can’t control myself

So what if you can see the darkest side of me
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe, It’s not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal!

I can’t escape myself
So many times I’ve tried
But there’s still rage inside

Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can’t control myself!

Hohoho who knows which song I am using in the underlined text ;P