Princess Molestia and Gamer Luna vs Evil
Pone everything and fuck everyone!
Author's Note
Hi guys this is my first attempt at a smaller story to sharpen my writing skills. I hope I can at least give you a few laughs at this short story. Also I put songs in () in my stories when I feel its right for certain moments. That way if the site can't get them in, you can pull up a separate page on youtube and search them.
Pone everything and fuck everyone!
Luna was on Battlefield 4, Molesta was waving her huge -plot- at her guards on the throne. Luna was playing rush and was going for the last objective.
"Alright team lets pone these noobs and finish this, I just got my M416!"
"Nobody cares bitch." Commented a random gamer.
"I'm sorry what, I couldn't hear you from the bottom of the scoreboard."
"OH you got ice for that burn bro!" Said one of her teammates that she was on good terms with from the past few games.
"Wait we have a girl on our team?"
"Yeah guess who's dicks bigger foal!"
"HAHAHAHA!"
Luna was a pro at trash talking and giving quick responses, verbally murdering her victims from years of experiencing it happening to others.
"HAHAHA....damn girl you just took a stallion's pride!"
"HAHAHA....oh shit I just dropped my pop tart!" This caused even more laughter in the game she was dominating at until...
"LUNA!"
"Oh not now sister I'm at the end of this match about to win!"
"Luna!" Then in came Molestia complaining. "Luna why can't the guards take a hint and bend me over and punish my big sexy plot when I twerk it for them!?"
"Maybe because they don't want to."
5 min earlier...."Oh honor guards help I am in need of aid!" Princess Molestia had been in her room clopping and decided she needed somepony to do it for her. The two guards stationed out side her door had now busted through it.
"We are here your maj"...They were quickly hushed at the site before them. "Oh good your both here! Molestia said chantingly. I need you to for a -two colt sandwich-. With me in the middle and make it snappy!" The two guards only looked at each other and were thinking the same thing. "RUN!" They say in unison and dart out the door. Rainbow Dash would approve of their speed.
Present...."Oh please Luna nopony can resist my plots charm!"
"Who the hell just walked into your room because that shits getting scary from this end!"
"Try having to live with it on my end." Luna plainly said.
"Besides Luna I've seen the way you derpy hang out." Molestia smiles at the thought of her sister with derpy being naughty."
"Oh shit girl you bumping donuts with another mare!"
"At least I can get sum plot bitch!" Luna quickly retorts.
"OOOOOHHHHHH!"
Again the game players were cheering for the verbal murder she was committing on any stallion that challenged her.
Meanwhile Discord, Chrysalis and King Sombra were plotting to take Equestria over as one evil force combined.
"With my army, Sombra's power of fear and Discord's chaotic powers we will be unstoppable!"
"Oh how delightful my sane Changeling queen!"
"Yes with the three of us put together WE WILL RULE EQUESTRIA AND THE CHRYSTAL EMPIRE!" "MUAHAHAHAHAH" King sombra finished and the other two followed to laugh in unison.
"Now my dear Changelings RISE AND GO FORTH!" A large swarm of Changelings come rushing out of a mountain top somewhere in the badlands and is heading toward Canterlot.
"Oh I know, Discord spoke up. Why don't I teleport us to have front row sets when they get there instead of flying with Chrysalis and the whelps?"
"An exhalent idea my insane friend!" Complimented King Sombra.
"Then let us be off!" With a snap of Discords eagle talon hand they had vanished, leaving Chrysalis to have to fly with her minions making the forever alone face.
Princess Molestia was in a drunken state again, shouting to every passerby out one of the palace widows. "Fuck you, you rich pieces of shit! All you fucking cock suckers can suck my horn after I ram it up your plots!"
"Sister!" Luna had come because one of the guards had reported seeing and hearing Molestia slandering everypony while drunk of her ass.
"Sister please stop harassing the towns folk, your making a big scene!"
"Well if they weren't so uptight all the time I wouldn't have to verbally smack a bitch down to size!"
"Sister just go to bed!" Luna said face hoofing herself.
"Why don't you!....Hay what's that -big black- cloud doing moving so fast toward us for?" Molestia drooling at the words big and black.
"What!?" Luna asked surprised while levitating a telescope out of nowhere. Luna focuses it on the large black cloud coming at them rather quickly and sees that its a swarm of Changelings. Leading them Queen Chrysalis still with the forever alone face. "Wow that's actually really depressing." Luna said to herself.
"What, everypony needs a drink here and there!" Molestia said thinking her sister had been talking to her.
"Not You sister the swarm of Changelings coming toward Canterlot!"
"Oh their -coming- make it rain on me boys!"
"Will you snap out of it!" Luna shouted at Molestia slapping her a couple of times trying to straiten her out.
"OK OK I'll help defend the city just cool your tits already." "Good now sober up because we have incoming!"
(Red vs Blue - Warthog music) [youtube=https://i.ytimg.com/vi/uZS0WIQI7UU/default.jpg]
Luna said whipping out the biggest....fucking....shotgun you've ever seen. Molestia just pulled out a pistol and held it sideways then dumping a full clip into the swarm saying..."HELL YEAH that's how we do it in my neighborhood bitches!"
(Go to the comments and you will know if you don't already.)
Luna not caring at this point what her sister does, as long as it helps her repel the attack on Canterlot, starts pumping shells into the passing groups of Changelings.
"Come get some noobs!" Guards rushed out of the palace engaging any Changelings on hoof. Citizens galloped screaming for cover in their homes and shops.
Luna had moved to a new window that had a mounted 50.cal taking out larger numbers of the hoard flying above. "This ones from MERICA mother fuckers!"
Molestia then came through the front gate of the palace with an APU from matrix-revolutions blaring the guns in the air in a sexual sounding blaze-of-glory! "Oh the vibrations the guns make on this thing, I wonder"....She went to move the stick handle to her plot but ended up shooting the crotch area of the machine when she tried. "Damn it you piece of shit vibrator!"
Luna's 50.cal had ran out of ammo so she went akimbo with two five-seven pistols. The guards held their own pretty well, mostly because Molestia and Luna had gotten a bunch of shit they have never seen before. Then after Luna's five sevens went dry on ammo, Luna pulled out a big ass ninja star that you would see in Naruto and thrown it at the large group of Changelings charging her, cutting them all down with no problem.
Molestia had came back, still drunk and now with an M60 light machine gun.
"How do work this thing Luna!"
"Pull the curved piece of metal next to the grip handle!"
"Oh ok!" Molestia went to pull the trigger and she was all over the place! Twisting and turning the weapon trying to gain control over it but to no with no luck. Other then the raining bodies of Changelings falling from the skies.
"This is more good of a time than being on a -pony thread simulator-!" Molestia shouts before the butt of the weapon recoils into her face.
Discord, Chrysalis and Sombra stood on top of building jaws agape from the show they are witnessing.
"Wow and I thought I was a god of chaos!"
"I thought I'd never feel fear!"
"My precious Changelings!"
Then all of the sudden Molestia came out of nowhere with a whip in hoof.
"So who's ready to get punished! Molestia grins devilishly at the three super villains. Oh Discord I think you still owe a night to me, how about me and you get freaky!"
"Oh hell naw!" [youtube=http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/G7ZbS4gwhXM/mqdefault.jpg]
Discord screams eyes wide giving her the finger. King Sombra and Queen Chrysalis break down in tears of pure fear of what Molestia mite have in mind for them.
"We have had enough of your evil -plots- you three and it is time you face our wrath!" Luna shouts swooping down from above wearing an ACU and holding an M416. She sees her sister inching her way closer to the three as she lands. "Please just kill us before Molestia gets us!" Chrysalis pleads to Luna tears over whelming her eyes.
"I'm scared!" cries the master of fear himself King Sombra.
"I don't want to lose my virginity like this!" whines the god of chaos.
Luna thinks for a moment and then just smiles, then holsters the weapon over her back with the rifle's sling. "On second thought....I do believe I have some TF2 to catch up on." Luna turns to walk away and hears. "HAVE MERCY!" The three cry out to Luna, who only looks back to say...."No....no you live with it" Then fly's away.
"Now who's first!?" Molestia Cheers with glee of her prize of wining the battle.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH" The three scream in horror.
Then everypony lived happily ever after....except the evil trio who all had a heart attack at the last second. AWW I wanted to finally let Discord reach home base. Molestia wined.
The end.
