In Spite of Herself

by Kafkasaurous

Rating: everyone
Tags: Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3087

When Fluttershy loses her temper and hurts a friend, she starts to question whether she can really be the element of kindness.

As a foal, Fluttershy had trouble controlling her temper. Through years of hard work and the support from her friends and family she was able to overcome her inner turmoil and control her anger. She was even able to become the element of kindness.

When an argument with Pinkie Pie causes her to lose control and push her friend down a staircase, she believes she may no longer be worthy of holding her element of harmony. But why is Pinkie so eager to forgive her?

Published 2014-01-13 16:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-13 16:50:03 UTC

Doubt

Retreating behind her mane, she drew a large gasp. She blinked and shook her head furiously, trying desperately to wake up. "This isn't real, this isn't who I am!" Fluttershy squeaked, tears streaming down her face.

"I am so sorry Pinkie!" she said from the safety the long pink locks provided her. "I'll call an ambulance."

Fluttershy was used to medical emergencies, but the kind that happened to little critters. This was different, this was one of her friends, and worse yet, she was the cause. Peeking out from behind her mane she saw that Pinkie, still curled up on the floor, had turned away from her. Her injured foreleg clutched tightly to her chest, she was sobbing.

All thoughts of the argument and the anger she felt just moments before had vanished in an instant, replaced just as starkly by panic and fear. "I thought I was past this, I thought I was better." Fluttershy knew there were no words that could take back what just happened, and somewhere in the back of her mind she knew that Pinkie wasn't hearing her anyway.

In an instant the moment hit her. Pinkie was hurt! She could apologize later, her friend needed help. Fluttershy galloped through the door. With a leap, she took to the air, beating her wings fast and hard, she flew towards Ponyville, and help.

Pinkie Pie was sleeping soundly. She looked peaceful, no different than her normal happy self. The drab green gown clashed with her bright pink coat.

Fluttershy's thoughts drifted briefly to how Rarity would react to seeing Pinkie in that. The thought was quickly banished by the realization that, no matter the outfit she wore, nopony would be able to look past the dull grey cast she now wore on her right foreleg. And the sling cradling it to her chest.

The anesthesia had yet to wear off, and until Pinkie woke up the staff would only allow Fluttershy in the room with her. Surely even she wouldn't have been allowed if they were told the entire story. She was sure the others were already in the waiting room. What was she going to say to them?

The attendant had brought two lunch trays. They both remained untouched. Pinkie's waiting for her by the bedside, steam slowly dying down as it grew cold waiting for the sleeping mare to rouse. Fluttershy's sitting at her side, already cold. Her stomach was growling, she hadn't eaten anything at all today, yet she couldn't bring herself to take a single bite.

Pinkie's rhythmic breathing was the only sound in the room aside from the occasional beeping of some gauge or monitor. Fluttershy was alone with her thoughts. The anger she had felt at Pinkie was gone, turned inward as disgust for her own actions. For her inability to control herself. She had worked so hard for so many years to control the anger that had consumed her as a foal. She was doing well too. Even becoming the element of kindness.

Sure there were slip-ups, when she lost her temper at the gala she was embarrassed, but nopony, or critter, got hurt. She had just managed to make a fool of herself. She thought she was lost when she fell in with Iron Will. She managed to hurt a lot of feelings, but she didn't actually injure anypony.

This time it was different. She couldn't even remember what they had been arguing about. But the look on Pinkie's face stuck with her. She could see it clearly in her mind, it just kept playing over and over. In her head she could see Pinkie, confused, moving her mouth to speak, she couldn't hear the words. She could still feel Pinkie's soft coat under her hooves as she shoved her. Still see the fear in Pinkie's eyes as she tumbled backwards down the staircase.

She could remember clearly how the fury instantly melted into panic when the reality came to her that her poorly timed outburst could have easily killed one of her best friends.

As the events replayed themselves she stared into space, watching the dust bunnies play in the light shining through the thin blades of the window blinds. She had been waiting in silence for nearly half an hour. Every second was spent reliving those moments, and thinking of what she would say when Pinkie woke.

In the waiting room Rarity and Applejack talked quietly about nothing. The once white walls were marred with the piled on remnants of years of scuff marks. Moisture rings of all shapes and sizes mottled the wooden floorboards. The floor itself had been worn down from the pacing of worried friends and family members too numerous and frequent to count.

There were a handful of folding chairs scattered around the room, on the far wall was a small couch, the thick upholstery of which was made to resist the various filth and biological stains that were the mark of a hospital. Even so, it was discolored, stained in places, faded in others. This is where Applejack sat. Rarity stood close by, refusing to sit anywhere for fear of coming into contact with some long dried sticky remnants of a previous patient's visit.

A small pinhole of brilliant light began to shine from the center of the room. A large radiant orb began forming around it, seemingly shining inward. In less than an instant the orb had collapsed in on itself before exploding outward and rupturing like a soap bubble. The light appeared to splash on the floor leaving two ponies and one dazed dragon in it's wake.

Rainbow Dash stepped forward, "AJ, Rarity, I found her!" Applejack and Rarity rushed to greet the new arrivals. The five in turn hugged and exchanged greetings.

Rarity turned to Twilight, her brow furrowed, and spoke in a hushed voice, "Applejack and I rushed here when Dash told us what happened. She flew off saying she was looking for you, what took so long?"

"Celestia called me and Spike to Canterlot. Rainbow Dash saw the note on the library door and flew all the way there." Twilight replied. "When she explained what happened Celestia offered to teleport us here."

Pointing at the check-in desk, Dash asked, "Have they said anything yet?"

"Well… yeah, but y'all ain't gonna like it." Applejack sat back down on the couch, she removed her hat and fiddled with the brim. "Tha doc says that, from tha look o' Pinkie's bruises, it don't look like she just tripped. He thinks we're not tellin him the whole truth." Looking down at her hooves she mumbled, "Ah told him exactly what Fluttershy told me. An' none of us can get another word outta tha girl."

A groggy moan came from the bed. Pinkie Pie began pushing at the blanket that, in her sleep, she had balled up over her face. Finally freeing herself, she looked down at the cast. She sighed a long airy note. Even after waking up in the hospital her voice seemed to carry a tune.

Fluttershy's heart began to race. For all the thought she had put into preparing her words, all she had were two. "Um, Pinkie…" she swallowed hard at the lump in her throat, "…I'm sorry."

The door creaked open, a tired looking blue unicorn mare stepped in, floating a clipboard in front of her. Casting her eyes to the bed where Pinkie sat upright. "Oh good, you're awake. You have several visitors, shall I let them in?"

"Um, excuse me, ma'am, when are we going to talk to the doctor?" Fluttershy interrupted.

The nurse frowned, "I'm sorry, but the doctor is performing an emergency surgery and might not be done for a few hours." her voice was sweet.

Pinkie yawned. Trying to stretch, she felt a sharp pain in her foreleg. She let out a tiny whimper. With a sheepish grin she looked down again at her cast, "Oh, right." With a nod to the nurse she said in a cheery voice, "Please let them in, I can't wait to see all my friends!"

With a silent nod the nurse took her leave, closing the door behind her. Fluttershy waited until the hoofsteps faded away to speak. "I'm really sorry Pinkie, I don't know what came over me. I worked so hard for so many years to control my temper, but I wound up hurting somepony I really care about."

With a wave of her hoof Pinkie said, "Don't worry about it one bit. I know you didn't mean it. Besides, we're friends, friends argue sometimes. the important thing is working past it."

"But, you broke a bone."

"Yeah, it does kinda hurt, but I have great insurance. Oh! And I bet the Cakes will totally give me time off of work!" Pinkie squealed.

Fluttershy sank back into her chair. Once again hiding behind her mane.

There was a sudden knock at the door. Without waiting for an answer the door swung open and four friends quietly shuffled in. "You have until six o'clock to visit, after that only two guests are allowed to stay." The nurse said as she left the group to themselves.

Pinkie and Fluttershy were hit with a barrage of questions. Their friends wanted to know if Pinkie was going to be okay, how long she would have the cast, and, of course, what exactly had happened.

Pinkie answered, "We were at Fluttershy's cottage and I fell down the stairs. That's when this happened." she said, pointing at the cast. "Not much to it really."

Applejack spoke up, "Tha doc said that yer bruises made it look like ya were pushed." She glanced at Fluttershy cowering in the chair. "Y'all weren't fightin' were ya?"

Pinkie again answered, chiming in before anyone could press Fluttershy further. "Bruises shmoozes. I fell down the stairs, of course there are going to be all kinds of bruises."

Looking around the room she finally noticed the tray of food beside her. "Ooh, lookit that, they even gave me a cookie."

A quick glance at the clock on the wall showed Twilight ten till six. She had been walking the halls in search of the book trolley for several minutes. Back in the room, Applejack had cornered an orderly to ask who supplied the hospital's applesauce. Rarity was taking Pinkie's measurements so she could make a more fashionable sling. Rainbow Dash was doodling flame patterns in a notebook, trying to decide what would look best on Pinkie's cast.

Fluttershy was sitting quietly in the chair. She hadn't moved. She had barely spoken since everyone had arrived.

Returning to the room, Twilight informed everyone of the time. She had failed to find the book trolley, but made a mental note to ask the attendants to bring it by on her way out. "The nurse said only two visitors are allowed after six, so I guess we'll draw straws to see who gets to stay."

"Actually…" Pinkie spoke up, "…if it's okay with Fluttershy, I would like it if it were just me and her tonight." With an eager smile she turned her attention to the chair. Fluttershy was staring at the floor, oblivious. "How 'bout it Fluttershy?"

With a start, Fluttershy came back to reality. She looked around, settling her attention on Pinkie. "I'm sorry, what was the question?"

"Will you stay with me tonight? Your chair reclines into a bed, so you have somewhere to sleep. I could really use your company."

Fluttershy nodded.

"Well that settles it then. Fluttershy will stay here tonight, and I can see all of you tomorrow when they let me out. We'll have to have a 'Pinkie Pie got out of the hospital' party!" Pinkie poked at her cast again. "Hee~hee… You guys might have to help me set it all up."

After a moment's thought Pinkie shouted, "OhohOHOHoh! You guys have to sign my cast before you leave. Better hurry though." She pointed at the doorway, the same blue unicorn had just arrived, a clipboard floating at her side. Another thought occurred to her, "By the way, I never caught your name, miss…?"

"I'm sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Nurse Seabreeze, I'm filling in for Nurse Redheart while she is on vacation. If you have any questions feel free to ask me. Unfortunately, the doctor won't be available till tomorrow morning."

"Tomorrow morning? I thought you said he would see us after that emergency surgery was over." Fluttershy huffed.

"All he told us was that he had to leave and that it was important. We have another doctor on standby, but she'll be really busy, the E.R. is getting backed up with no doctor on call." Nurse Seabreeze lowered her head, "Believe me, I understand your frustration."

Pinkie giggled as her friends stood in line to sign her cast. Naturally, Rarity was first, signing her name with large, elegant calligraphy, dotting the "I" with a small topaz she inexplicably had brought with her.

Rainbow Dash went last, using the time her friends were signing their names to find an array of colored markers. This was going on Pinkie's cast after all, of course her name had to be a rainbow.

The others had said their goodbyes and left. Twilight had lingered for a bit, asking the nurse every question she could think to and, before she left, finally remembering to mention the book trolley.

Dinner was brought to the room at eight. Again two trays were offered. Pinkie had eaten her tray and half of Fluttershy's. Fluttershy still had no appetite.

At nine o'clock Nurse Seabreeze came by and turned out the lights. They began settling in for a long night.

Pinkie clicked on the lamp beside her bed. "Fluttershy, I know how you feel."

Fluttershy rose up. Squinting to see her friend in the dim lamplight, she cocked her head. "What do you mean Pinkie?"

Pinkie patted her belly. "Surely you've noticed by now, I'm not in the greatest shape."

"I don't understand." Fluttershy had never thought of Pinkie as fat, but she did seem to around a couple extra pounds.

Pinkie's expression, though a bit hard to see, had grown serious. "It's sweets. Every day, the bakery has to throw out the old cakes and pastries and things. I used to sneak them out before they went to the trash and just go to town on em. I would get really sick but I would keep bingeing every day."

Fluttershy still didn't understand what she was getting at, but Pinkie rarely looked this serious. She quietly listened and nodded her head.

"I went to the doctor one day and he told me that I was showing the early signs of diabetes, and that if I didn't stop eating like that I would eventually have to take shots. It could even kill me." Pinkie sniffled. "I was so scared. But that just made me want to eat more."

"A few days later I binged so hard I passed out in the middle of the bakery. When I woke up I was here, in this hospital, a few rooms down. They had me hooked up to all kinds of machines and wires and tubes. Mr. Cake had found me and carried me here, he thought I had died."

Through the low lights Fluttershy could see a stream of tears shimmer down Pinkie's cheek.

"The doctor told me that by eating so much sugar I had caused my body to overdose itself with insulin. And that caused me to have a heart attack and go into a diabetic coma." Pinkie lifted the blanket to dab at her eyes. "I had to go on a special diet, I couldn't have any sweets for a very long time. I worked for years to control my urge to eat. When the doctor finally told me I could eat cake again I thought I would just have one slice to celebrate, but I ended up bingeing again. Thankfully, that time I just got really sick and threw up everywhere. But I was so scared I was going to have another heart attack."

Fluttershy began to understand. Pinkie Pie's story was sounding more and more familiar.

"Fluttershy, I know how hard it is to have urges you can't control. And how scary a relapse can be when you work so hard to get better." Pinkie smiled with her tear stained cheeks. She did her best to scoot to one side of the bed, she patted the space beside her and motioned for Fluttershy to sit with her.

Fluttershy stood up, walking slowly to Pinkie's side. She sat down, the two mares now face to face. Her eyes once again flooding over. "Pinkie, I'm supposed to be the element of kindness, how can I possibly live up to that when I hurt my best friends?"

"Am I not allowed to be the element of laughter because I'm crying now?" Pinkie said with a sniffle. "I'm not a diabetic now because I learned to control my eating. But I still slip up and overeat now and then. Fluttershy, you are the kindest pony I know because you try so hard to be. And you do that because you know how scary it is to lose your temper. I'm not a diabetic, and you aren't a bully."

"But Pinkie, your leg." Fluttershy pointed at the sling hanging across Pinkie's shoulder.

"Yeah, it's broke, but pouting wont help it heal. My Nana always said 'it takes two to argue' and I suppose if I hadn't pressed your buttons you wouldn't have lost your temper. Granted, you kinda went overboard. But you owned up to your mistake and tried to fix it. I can't ask for more than that."

Fluttershy felt tears on her cheek again. These were different though. She wasn't crying out of sadness anymore. "I never knew you had a problem Pinkie. I'm sorry."

"I didn't know you had one either, you control yourself so well." Pinkie leaned forward, wrapping her hoof around Fluttershy, she squeezed tight. "In a way, I'm glad this happened. When I slip up and lose control I feel so alone, like nopony could ever understand. But now I know my best friend is with me."

Fluttershy returned the hug, a happy warmth spreading in her chest. "I love you Pinkie Pie."

"I don't swing that way Flutters." Pinkie giggled.

"You know what I mean."

"He~he… I love you too."