On Time For a Change

by LordSmokedMeatsandFishes

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Mayor Mare, Main 6, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 18434

An efficiency expert is sent to Ponyville to help with their Winter Wrap-Up.

Pendulum lived a comfortable routine for an up and coming efficiency company in Manehatten. That routine was shattered when he was sent to a new client that could put them on the map.

A little town called Ponyville.

Oh sure they had sent their request late giving Pendulum only a day to get there and organize a schedule. Sure the records they sent were disorganized at best. Sure they hadn't come close to succeeding for over 70 years. But really, how difficult could it be?
Pendulum would soon come to regret those words...

Edited and pre read by the excellent Knight of Cerebus, maskedferret, Cerulean Voice, and CartsBeforeHorses

Cover art by PoisonSt

(Takes place before season 1)

Published 2014-01-13 20:20:11 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-25 15:31:45 UTC

An Unpleasant Introduction.

I looked at my pocket watch and frowned. The train was finally moving, even if it was twenty minutes late. It would take me at least forty-five seconds to readjust my schedule. This job is going to be difficult enough as it is, I don’t need these kinds of delays, I thought worriedly.

I double-checked my pocket watch to see that it was now 10:20 A.M., time to head to the dining cart. I walked in and was surprised to see that it was already full. Every table was filled with ponies (and there was also one donkey). All except for mine, of course.

A unicorn in a fancy waiter’s outfit walked up to me and asked, “Would your name be Pendulum, sir?”

“Yes,” I responded. “I have a reservation for 10:22 A.M.”

“Of course sir, If you would just head this way.”

I followed him to my table and immediately set my papers down. I would have to study them while eating to maintain my schedule.

“May I get you a drink, sir?”

“Water. And for the meal I would like a hay and cheese sandwich with vegetable soup.”

“Looks like somepony did their homework sir.”

“Of course,” I replied matter of factly.

The waiter remained for an additional three seconds. His expression was confused, as if he expected me to say something else. When I didn’t he finally left for the kitchen. Free from that distraction, I started studying my notes, and found myself beginning to lose whatever appetite I may have had. It was worse than I could ever have imagined. It was one thing to be told that a town hadn’t finished their Winter Wrap Up on time in decades, but to actually see the figures!

I was grateful when the waiter arrived with my water two minutes and twenty-three seconds later. Both for the distraction of the drink itself, and the information it provided to calculate when the rest of the meal would arrive.

I returned to studying the statistics, and four minutes later heard a cough from the waiter. I widened my eyes in amazement. I was sure it would take him at least nine and a half minutes to bring me my meal. He must have been better than I thought.

When I looked up, I was disappointed to see that the waiter had no food with him. “What is it?” I asked, annoyed at the interruption.

‘I’m sorry to interrupt you sir. It’s just that one of our passengers was wondering if you would mind sharing your table. “

“Excuse me?”

“Well sir, she had a reservation for 9:45 at your table, but an unforeseen delay prevented her from arriving. She was wondering if you would be so kind as to share your table.”

I simply stared at the waiter, my wings twitching in agitation as I processed his words. Some incompetent mare had missed her own reservation, and now she honestly expected me to reward her for it? I was about to tell the waiter a very annoyed no, when I caught a glimpse of the mare in question.

She was easy enough to spot. She wore a light purple dress in a style I did not recognize. However, it seemed to match her white coat and meticulously stylized purple mane perfectly. She was what Bum Steer, a crude associate from work, would describe as a “smoking hot mare.”

I had a brief dilemma. On the one hoof, inviting her would no doubt lead to a further complication to a schedule I had just finished revising. On the other hoof, an opportunity to dine with a beautiful mare wasn’t something that happened to me everyday. Or ever, really.

I glanced at my schedule, and at the waiter, who was raising a questioning eyebrow as he waited for my response. Well, the schedule could use further refining anyway.

“Very well,” I replied.

“Very good sir,” he responded as he led her to my table.

As they were approaching I decided I should move some papers aside to make room. As I did so, I found myself adjusting my three-piece suit and making sure my bowler hat was on just right. I wasn’t entirely sure why.

She sat down, and was able to give the waiter her order instantly. Her voice had a refined upper class accent. A traveler from Canterlot perhaps? Or at least some similar high-class city I thought.

After giving her order she looked at me, and said, “I am dreadfully sorry to interrupt your work, Mr...“

“Pendulum, and that is quite alright madam,” I replied, surprised that I actually meant it.

She seemed to find this amusing as she chuckled in response “Oh please, call me Rarity. I’m not quite old enough to be a madam yet, Mr. Pendulum.”

“Very well. That is quite alright, Rarity,” I replied. I was about to return to my reports when something at the back of my mind told me I should keep talking. Shoot, what is it that Bum Steer is always saying? “I’m telling you Pendulum, mares love talking about themselves.”

“So Miss Rarity, what business did you have in Manehatten?”

Her already bright eyes seemed to light up as she told me, and told me, and told me some more. It wouldn’t have been so bad, except I had to actually listen to some of it to give simple yes or no responses.

From what I was able to discern, it was about some new fashion seminar where the latest designs had been shown. She had gone for inspiration for something called a Carousel Boutique. To be honest, I started tuning her out around two minutes and seventeen seconds in discretely retreating to the safety of my notes.

“Then of course I got into an argument with a hat maker on the staying power of the fedora hat. He insisted that it was due for a comeback, even though as a hat maker he should know its sales have been steadily declining over the past two years. I mean honestly, have you seen that many fedoras in Manehatten lately?”

Looking up from my reports, I quickly said, “Can’t say that I have.”

“Precisely, so I told him that–“

“Pardon me,” the waiter mercifully interrupted 34 seconds earlier than I expected him too. Mental note, give waiter a big tip.

“Madam, your soup.”

“Why thank you,” she said.

“And sir, your sandwich and soup.”

“Thank you.”

After he left there were several moments of beautiful silence as we both ate our meals. I was about to return to my notes when–

“Oh, where are my manners? I seem to have done all of the talking. Tell me Mr. Pendulum, what is it that you do?”

I quickly swallowed my sandwich and looked at my schedule. I suppose I could spare a minute.

“Well Miss Rarity, I am an efficiency expert. It is my job to help companies or organizations run more smoothly to maximize profit. Why just a week ago I helped a carriage factory increase production by 15%.“

The now interested mare asked, “How exactly do you do that?”

“Well Miss Rarity, it’s quite simple. Let’s say I need to improve a factory’s production. First I need to learn the factors of their production, such as how long it takes for the materials to get there, how long the employees work, and how long it takes to make the product. That sort of thing.“

“After learning the process I work on a way to make it more efficient. Such as cutting unnecessary steps in production to decrease the standard time it takes to make it. This is tested, and when it works it is implemented. Then the company can increase their profits, and my firm gets paid. A win-win situation.“

“That’s very err, fascinating, Mr. Pendulum. If you don’t mind my asking, what are those notes for?”

“Well Miss Rarity, these notes are an ambitious gamble on my company’s part. If I can succeed, my company’s prestige will increase exponentially. You see we have been hired by an entire town.”

“A town you say?”

“Yes. And if these notes are accurate, it’s a revoltingly backwards town at that. You probably haven’t heard of it, it’s called Ponyville.”

The look of surprise on her face let me know that she hadn’t so I continued.

“You see, it’s almost time for their Winter Wrap Up, but due to some archaic tradition they refuse to utilize magic. Thus they haven’t had a punctual spring in decades. And the statistics are sickening.”

“Oh, surely it can’t be bad as all that” she said with an odd expression on her face.

Feeling confident, I continued. “It isn’t, Miss Rarity, it’s worse. Every year without fail this backwater town has been at least three days late for their Winter Wrap Up. Which means every mare, colt and filly has lost at least three days of their lives every year. And they do nothing to fix it!”

“And you think you can fix it?” she asked with a strange hint of sarcasm in her voice.

Chuckling, I said “Miss Rarity, with enough time anything can be fixed. Of course they sent their request late, so now I only have a day before the actual Winter Wrap Up starts. Every hour is important now, and due to that 20-minute delay I have already lost at least an hour.”

“Why is that?” she asked.

“Well, the train system in this area is a bit complex. You have trains coming in from every part of Equestria. Because of the delay, we will have to wait at least an hour for everything to be re-coordinated. In addition to the two hours it will take the train to arrive in Ponyville in the first place. Which reminds me Miss Rarity, where did you say you were going?”

“Oh, well I didn’t.”

“Well, if you tell me I can give you a good guess as to when you’ll arrive,” I said, eager for a chance to show off my knowledge.

She seemed somewhat conflicted before she said “Ponyville.”

“Well, isn’t this a coincidence? If you don’t mind me asking, what would a sophisticated mare such as yourself be visiting a backwoods hick town like that?”

“I live there.” She said in a cold tone.

It took me four seconds to process these words. In the meantime, I was able to note a look of anger had crossed her face. There was a right way to respond to this, but for the life of me I couldn’t figure out what it was. It couldn’t be an apology; I hadn’t said anything that wasn’t true. Perhaps I should just try to change the subject?

“So Ponyville, what’s it like there?” Perfect.

“Well, it might be somewhat backward. And I will be the first to admit it’s no Canterlot.But it is full of hard working, honest ponies, who are justly proud of their traditions.” She said, her voice now lacking her earlier warmth and replaced with a light tone of annoyance.

Despite this I could not repress a slight chuckle. Her angry glare let me know an explanation was in order.

“Sorry Miss Rarity, but if I had a bit for every time progress was held back because of tradition, well, I would have a lot of bits. If you ask me, it’s just an excuse so they don’t have to admit they’ve been wasting everypony’s time for decades. ”

“Well Mr. Pendulum, if you’re so smart then tell me, how are you going to fix our little hick town?” She said not even bothering to hide her annoyance.

“I’ll do what I always do Miss Rarity. Find any unnecessary steps of production, and either simplify them or have them cut. For example, their animal team seems to be staffed with incompetents. In fact, most of the failed Winter Wrap Ups can be attributed to this single team holding the others back. But of course, I still need to see the town itself and its workers to make an accurate theory. Do you happen to know anypony that works on the animal team?”

Then something unusual happened. I could have sworn I saw a strange look of calculation on Rarity’s face. Just then, she made a swift gesture with her hoof, causing the tablecloth to fly off the table, and my still unfinished soup to fly right onto my hat.

“GAAUGH!” I shouted as the still hot (and salty) soup soaked through my hat and into my eyes.

“Oh, I am dreadfully sorry. My hoof seemed to have slipped. Waiter, may I have a check please?“

I heard what must have been the waiter running to my table.

“Oh of course, madam. Sir, are you alright?” he asked while using his magic to remove my hat and gently wipe my face with a fancy rag.

“I’ve been better,” I said through gritted teeth, doing my best to calm down the repeating tick tock in my head.

“Well thank you for your table Mr. Pendulum, and good luck on your assignment,” Rarity said in what I was quite sure to be false sincerity.

“Sir, I am terribly sorry. If you want, I can have your suit and hat washed right away.”

“That would be wonderful. May I have my check as well?” I said through gritted teeth while removing my suit.

“But you have not finished your meal!”

“I have lost enough time already,” I muttered while looking at my watch.

“Very well sir. We will have it cleaned in one hour! On that I personally assure you!”

“Thank you.”

As I took out my bits, I could not help but notice that Rarity looking back on me with a look of disdain. I could have sworn I heard her mutter something about “ghastly manners,” before she left.

After paying the waiter, I left the dining car to return to my seat. Looking at my watch, I saw that Rarity’s interruption had made me five minutes late. Admittedly this was somewhat meaningless, as I still had at least three hours until the train would arrive in Ponyville. But it’s the principle of the thing that counts.

Precisely one hour later, my hat and suit were returned to me. They still smelled slightly of vegetable soup, but at least the stains were gone.

Three and a half hours later the train finally stopped into the town. I exited to find a small train station. Miniscule when compared to the complex train network in Manehatten. And of course, the mayor’s representative wasn’t there.

“What a wonderful start,” I muttered, the low bar I had set for the town suddenly sinking even lower.

Looking around I saw a few other patrons leaving the train. Including Miss Rarity, who seemed to be doing her best to ignore me. But no time to think of that now. If the mayor’s representative didn’t show up in 5 minutes, I would have to locate her on my own.

In the meantime, I decided to see what I could of this archaic town from the station. I was surprised to see that it didn’t look quite as bad or unimpressive as I thought it would. Oh sure, it was nothing when compared to the towering skyscrapers of Manehatten. But the homes had their own rustic charm to them. Everything seemed well maintained, and there was less visible trash then there would have been in Manehatten. Then again, the snow that still littered the area could was probably concealing the trash.

Frowning, I looked around to see that the snow covered everything like a foul infestation of weeds. Back in Manehatten there were already efforts being made to clear away the snow. But there wasn’t so much as a snow shovel visible here.

Have they no concept of planning ahead? They know they have a problem. Don’t they? I thought as I stared at a busy group in a distant marketplace. Instead of helping prevent their town’s annual humiliation, they were going about their everyday lives. There were shopkeepers selling goods, fillies playing in the snow, a strange pink pony staring right at me – Wait.

I glanced back to where I saw the strange pink pony, but she had vanished like seconds on the clock. Where could she have gone? I only looked away for a second. Where is she? My mental questions were interrupted by a small alarm from my watch. It had been five minutes and the representative was not here. Time to take matters into my own hooves.

Grabbing my suitcase, I started flying higher in the sky to get a better view of Ponyville. I could just make out an abnormally large building that could only be the town hall. I began flying towards it, calculating that it would take me four minutes at my current pace.

As I flew I felt a strange sensation, as if I was being watched. Looking behind me, I could just make out a blur of pink disappearing around a corner. Was that the same pony? Is she following me? I thought to myself.

When she didn’t appear again I decided to write it off as a strange coincidence. But just to be sure, I felt compelled to increase my pace, and arrived at the town hall 15 seconds earlier. At last I could get started on helping this accursed town.

The town hall was a tall building, by Ponyville’s standards. Several stories higher than most of the surrounding buildings, with an interior and courtyard big enough to house most of the population for big events (albeit uncomfortably). Walking towards the door, I was already mentally crossing off reach the mayor from my schedule. I opened the door with my hoof and walked in to find… nothing.

Looking around the surprising blackness, I saw a massive empty room with a stage and several balconies. No mayor, no secretary, not even so much as a paperwork cluttered desk. Why would the mayor not be at the town hall? Where else could she be?

“Whatcha doing mister?” a loud, squeaky voice practically shouted in my ear.

“AAAH!” I shouted as I instinctively recoiled from the voice and hit my head on the ceiling. I was unhurt, aside from a small bruise on my head. But the real pain started when the loud pink mare started talking.

“Oh my gosh mister I am so sorry! Are you ok? I was just following you because you looked so confused so I said to myself now Pinkie, there’s a pony that could use some cheering up. Then I saw you going into the town hall which I thought was weird because hardly anypony goes in there unless there’s something special going on and I know for a fact that nothing special is going on today.”

“Miss–“ I said trying to get her to stop.

“Then I thought maybe you have some super important business to do. You do kind of look like a business pony with your suit and hat. That is a very nice hat by the way. But why does it smell like soup?”

“Madam–“ I said, growing more annoyed with every syllable.

“Never mind. Where was I? Oh yeah, so then I realized I should just ask you what you were doing. The simplest solution can be the best after all–“

“Will you please be quiet?!” I shouted, having lost all patience with this prattling pink pony.

“Sorry,“ she said with a slight look of embarrassment.

“Now, what exactly do you want miss…”

“Pinkie Pie! And I just wanted to know what you were doing! Because nopony ever goes to the town hall unless–“

“Well Miss Pinkie Pie, if you must know, I am looking for somepony.”

“Ooh! Who are you looking for? I bet I could help!” she said with unnervingly happy cheer.

“I am looking for the mayor,” I answered, not expected anything of note from this vapid mare.

“Is that all? I can take you right to her!”

“Really?” I said pleasantly surprised albeit skeptical.

“Sure, follow me!” she said as she bounced away with, by the sound of it, a literal spring in her step.

Having no other options, I followed her, listening to her inane drivel along the way. Fortunately I kept myself sane by reminding myself that I was making some progress.

“But I asked her, what can't a double fudge ice cream cake surprise solve?! Luckily I already had six with me. But then–”

Just another couple of minutes.

“Even I couldn’t figure out where all of the confetti came from! So I did some sneaky detective work and–“

Another few minutes, and you will never have to speak to this lunatic again.

“And at the end of it all I felt like singing! I wrote a song and everything! Here’s how it goes. OOOOOOOH I ONCE–“

“Stop!” I yelled. “Singing is where I draw the line! I have listened to your mad ramblings for far too long. Are we near the mayor or not?”

Pinkie looked somewhat sad at not being able to sing her song, but recovered quickly. “Well of course we are silly! It’s right here!” she said while pointing to an official looking gray building.

I will never know how, but I managed to contain my sigh of relief as I said “Thank you Miss Pie. Now if you don’t mind I really need to speak with the mayor.”

“Ok! Hold on, you are staying in Ponyville, right?”

“Yes, but only for two days if all goes according to schedule. “

“Perfect! Well have a nice day Mr. Pendulum!” she said before happily bouncing away.

Is she gone? Excellent, I thought before I released my relieved sigh and looked at the building in front of me. It was about the same size as the other buildings, but of a different design. It was more modern looking, gray and almost rectangular in appearance. The perfect office building for a small town politician.

Heading in, I was encouraged to see an actual secretary at an actual desk. She was an amber colored unicorn writing through some papers with her magic. She looked up as if surprised to see me. “Can I help you, sir?” she asked

“My name is Mr. Pendulum. Your mayor sent for me to help with your town’s Winter Wrap-Up.”

“Could you wait a couple of minutes? She is really busy at the moment.”

Normally I would have said “of course” and left it alone. But I had had a very annoying day with very unnecessary delays. I was not going to be delayed any further.

“Madam. My train was delayed an hour for some pointless reason. Whoever you sent to meet me at the station never arrived. And I have just spent the last several minutes listening to some mad pink pony prattle on about some things I’m pretty sure couldn’t possibly have happened. I am very annoyed right now. So you tell your mayor if she doesn’t speak with me right now, I am leaving this town and she can look forward to another year as the most humiliated mayor in Equestria!”

The secretary looked at me with shock at my outburst. “A pink pony you said?”

“Yes mam,” I said, grateful that she seemed to recognize the description.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

She sprang from her desk and rushed to the mayor’s office, as if afraid I would leave at any moment. I wouldn’t, of course. That would completely ruin my schedule, and my company’s reputation. But as the saying goes, what they don’t know won’t hurt them.

As she opened the door I could have sworn I heard snoring emanating from the office. I decided to ignore it. I had a low enough opinion of this town’s leader already – no need to make it even worse.

The secretary stuck her head out and replied “Mayor Mare will see you now.”

“Thank you,” I said as I walked into the office, curious to finally meet the illusive Mayor Mare. I found myself disappointed.

The Mayor had obviously just been woken up from a nap. Her eyes were still squinted, and she looked around the room as if lost in a daze. She isn’t drunk, is she? Surely not even this town could be that incompetent. I discreetly sniffed the air, and was somewhat relieved to find no scent of alcohol. Wonderful. She’s not a drunk. Just old. Old I can deal with.

“Good day, Mayor. My name is Pendulum.”

“Ah yes, the efficiency expert.” She said, her grogginess suddenly forgotten.

“I am terribly sorry, I thought for sure my assistant had reached you.”

Ah yes, I can see that you are obviously quite busy. “That is quite alright Mayor. Now, are you ready to discuss your plans for this years Winter Wrap Up?”

“Of course. This year we’ll show Fillydelphia who the slow town is!” She said with a new source of energy in her voice.

“Right. Tell me Mayor, have you made any preparations?”

“Of course. What do you take me for, a fool?”

No comment. “If you don’t mind my asking Mayor. What exactly would these preparations be?”

“I am glad you asked,” the Mayor responded as she lifted a pile of at least twenty papers on her desk.

“I have written perhaps one of the most inspiring Winter Wrap Up speeches ever made! It has taken me weeks to perfect it. But I’m confident that with this speech, the citizens will be more confident than ever and we are sure to win!” she said with a grin rivaling the pink lunatic’s.

My unamused grimace quickly deflated her balloon of joy. “That’s wonderful Mayor. Now, what practical preparation have you made?”

“Well that’s what you’re here for, isn’t it?”

It required every bit of willpower I had to prevent myself from smacking my forehead with my hoof. Glancing at my pocket watch to calm myself, I saw that it was 2:29 P.M. I still had some time.

“Very well Mayor. If that is how it’s going to be,” I said as I walked towards the window to stare at the sizeable crowd of ponies just… standing around talking. Not doing anything, just talking. About what, I couldn’t possibly imagine. Oh, a few seemed to be on some sort of errand, but for the most part it appeared that nothing was getting done.

“Tell me Mayor, what do you see?”

The Mayor seemed confused as she looked out the window.

“Well, I see a bunch of my citizens going about their day. There’s Applejack returning home from the market. I think I see a couple of fillies playing in the snow. And, well Pinkie Pie is doing something with balloons on the roof… Amber Pointment!

Suddenly the secretary stuck her head in, saying “Yes mayor?”

“Pinkie Pie is on a roof across the street again. Could you go remind her that she is no longer allowed on rooftops due to the butterscotch incident?”

“Of course Mayor.” Amber Pointment said as she ran out of the office.

“Now, what were you saying Mr. Pendulum?”

I stared out the window, watching the exasperated secretary yelling at Pinkie Pie, who had started attempting to flee utilizing her balloons as a makeshift flying device. They didn’t necessarily allow her to fly so much as slow her descent.

“I was saying Mayor, that I see a bunch of citizens wasting their time and helping to keep their town a punch line for every nearby newspaper. Rather than making your citizens prepare for the Winter Wrap Up, you allow them to gather around the town square as if there isn’t a problem. Why in Manehatten, at least a quarter of the city would have been cleared of snow by now.”

“But you use magic–“

“Precisely, and we will still have a busy day tomorrow. If a city has to take such preemptive measures, what makes you think your little town is exempt?” I said as I looked around the office for any sign of a plan, even a lousy chalkboard.

“Tell me Mayor, what is your usual plan for Winter Wrap Up?”

Looking concerned, as if sensing a trap, she explained, “Oh, the plant team will work on clearing the fields, the weather team on clearing the sky, and the animal team on waking the animals.”

“Tell me Mayor, has that plan ever worked?”

“Oh, eventually–“

“Let me rephrase, has it ever worked on time in recent history?

“Well no, but–“

“But nothing Mayor. You have no schedule, no organization, and no actual plan! Now here is what you are going to do,” I said as I brought several notes for a schedule I had worked on.

“You are going to call for a town meeting at four o’clock. You will make sure that at least all the leaders of each team are there. Then you are going to let me do my job, and listen to my every suggestion regarding your job, which you are obviously in dire need of advice regarding.“

“But I can’t just call a town meeting so suddenly!”

“In the meantime I will be preparing my presentation for the town hall, and I expect you to be there by 3:45 P.M. on the dot. Any questions?”

“How do you expect me to make a meeting on such short notice?”

“Use your mayoral powers. Send a mail mare, ring the big bell, I don’t care. As long as the leaders of the teams are there we can at least make an attempt at progress!”

She looked around the office nervously, as if already calculating the challenges this unexpected task provided her. Meanwhile, a certain pink pony riding on a rapidly deflating balloon flew by the window followed by an exasperated secretary. The Mayor looked like she was doing her best to ignore the distraction.

Finally, she asked, “So you do have a plan Mr. Pendulum?”

“Yes Mayor. I only want to help your town. But I can’t do it without your help.” Much as I hate to admit it, I have no real authority here.

“Very well Mr. Pendulum. I can’t guarantee how many ponies will be there, but I assure you that I will at least get the captains.”

“Thank you. Now about my accommodations?”

“Oh yes,” she said as she began filling out some form.

“Just give this to the clerk at the hotel. It’s just a few blocks from the left of here, you can’t miss it.”

“Thank you Mayor,” I said as I grabbed the document. With satisfaction, I saw that it stated I was a V.I.P and that my stay would be accommodated. At least this mayor could do one thing right. As I was leaving this office, I paused remembering another important detail.

“Mayor?”

“Yes?”

“I would highly recommend you have that speech trimmed down to no more than four and a half minutes. We have enough difficulties with the time as it is.”

“But I–“

I closed the door and walked out without bothering to hear her response. Thinking about it, I probably enjoyed it a tad too much. On the other hoof, the mayor needed to learn that we didn’t have the time for her frivolous nonsense.

“This job is too important, for my company and for me,” I muttered under my breath.

As I left the building, I saw that the secretary had returned from her chase, panting with exhaustion. Genuinely curious, I asked, “Did you catch her?”

She glared at me in annoyance as she said “The Mayor just told me to get her off the roof. I’m not doing any more than that.”

“I’ll be back!” I could hear Pinkie Pie yell from a nearby alleyway.

“And I’ll be there to stop you!” shouted the secretary.

Pinkie’s reply was a simple raspberry as she fled to Celestia knew where.

“How does this town put up with her?” I asked in morbid fascination.

“You get used to her, I guess. She’s really not that bad, and she does throw wonderful parties.”

“Terrific,” I said with as little enthusiasm as I could possibly muster. I flew to the sky, eager to get to the hotel and unpack my things. It hadn’t gone quite according to schedule, but the first important step had been achieved. Now I just had to fly to the hotel and begin preparing for my presentation.

“Hey mister, look out!”

I could just make out a strangely familiar voice. Suddenly, something hit me like a cannonball, crashing me to the ground. Before the snow ruined my suit, before the impact caused my suitcase to go flying, before my favorite hat became crumpled, one thought ran through my mind.

I am really starting to hate this town.

Author's Note

Well, thats the first chapter. Please let me know what you thought of it. Are you interested in the premise? Is Pendulum too unlikable? Any input would be greatly appreciated.

Singing without Music.

Despite my five minute delay, the rest of the evening went without issue. I finalized my notes early, giving me ample time to put out my clothes for tomorrow. Due to the damage to my previous suits, I was forced to utilize my official black suit and bowler hat. I consoled myself with the knowledge that the aura of discipline and control it displayed would almost certainly increase production by at least five seconds.

This left me with plenty of time to reach the Ponyville Clocktower before it rang at seven. Due to its distance from any highly populated part of the town, my clocktower vigil wasn’t as enjoyable as it would have been on the Manehatten Clocktower. However, the principle was still there so I deemed it adequate. After experiencing a feeling of relief and overall peace at 7:15, I returned to my room to dine on a hotel sandwich and light salad.

The rest of the evening was uneventful. Though I admit it probably took me four extra minutes than usual to finally drift off to sleep. I get like that when I’m excited. Not for today; today was tolerable at best. But tomorrow… Tomorrow they would all see. The Mayor, Rainbow Dash, Miss Rarity, every last one of them would see what a little organization and control is capable of.

I awoke ten minutes before the my alarm clock rang. I knew that logically I should get up to take advantage of the additional time being offered to me. On the other hoof, that four minutes still had me a bit groggy. Also it would just be rude to deny my alarm clock the satisfaction of doing its most important job. Besides, I was still trying to understand the dream I had awoken from. I distinctly remembered a massive gray hexagon simply floating in the sky as if it were judging the whole world. It began speaking to me, telling me something vital about the future of Equestria itself. It said-

BRING BRING BRING BRING BRING!

Wait, what was I thinking about? Hmm… Probably nothing important. What was I going to– “It’s time!” I shouted, all memoriesof fatigue and fancy flung from my mind as I remembered today was going to be the most important day of my life. I smiled eager to begin as I threw the covers off my bed, the slight woosh they created caused me to smile as I felt the small blanket’s breeze.

THLUMP.

I frowned at the subsequent thlump the blanket made bringing my excitement down to a normal level. “Must be this fresh country air getting to me,” I chuckled, feeling relieved that none had seen my ridiculous outburst and quickly picked my blanket up and placed it back on my bed. I mentally added making my bed before leaving to the schedule.

Looking at the clock I saw it was time for my morning bathroom break. Afterwards I had my breakfast, while watching the town begin to awaken from my window. Or perhaps awkwardly turn over would be a more accurate description. Despite being 6:45, only a few houses showed any signs of activity.

The most prominent being a startling replica of a gingerbread house. Not only were the lights on, but even from this distance I could hear a faint noise of lively activity presumably of a baking variety. I decided to make a mental note to meet with the tenants since they were obviously a responsible bunch already ahead of most of their town.

“That can wait,” I said as I marked the time on my schedule. Having long ago come to the conclusion that two minutes and a half minutes was a reasonable minimum for meeting new ponies. Fortunately my thoughts didn’t distract me from brushing my teeth at 6:52 for two and a half minutes exactly. Forty-five seconds in, I was struck by the strange coincidence of teeth brushing and acceptable social introduction sharing the same time. The world is just magical that way I suppose. Afterwards I made my bed, changed into my suit, and armed myself with my briefcase of notes, pocket watch, lunch and was out the door at exactly 7:00.

I flew swiftly past the front desk hoping to give the hotel keeper a friendly hello at 7:01. Unfortunately she didn’t have the decency to be there. Deciding to greet her later, I continued out of the hotel hoping to reach the town square by 5 after. I succeeded and was rewarded with… an empty town square.

I would have thought some citizens would be here by now, I thought while double checking my schedule. I needn’t have bothered since I was exactly on time. Looking around I saw nothing but town hall and an empty snowy field. Annoyed with the absence, I consoled myself with the knowledge that since the inhabitants knew the geography of their town they would not need to leave as early as I. No sooner had I thought this then I saw a small cart being pulled by two ponies.

The ponies in question were a tall thin yellow colt, and a short chubby blue mare. No that’s rude and unfair, I corrected myself mentally. At worst she’s round. Besides, anything would look large when compared to that gangly skeleton. Realizing I was continuing to dig myself into a mental hole, I decided to instead focus on the cart. Or more importantly its contents. Despite being at least 30 feet away, I could detect a delectable aroma of breakfast pastries emanating from the cart like light from a scented candle.

“Good morning!” I called to the well scented duo.

“Well good morning to you too!” The yellow one said while suppressing a yawn.

“Well it’s a morning,” said the blue mare as she began setting a small table for her enticing– no, mouth watering pastries.

Noticing my line of sight, she chuckled as she asked “Would you like one Mr?”

Cursing my weakness for baked goods, I forced myself to look away from the perfect flaky crust as I replied in order of importance “Pendulum, yes I would, and your name is...?”

“Why I’m Mrs. Cake and this is Mr. Cake.” She said while gesturing to her husband as he began setting plates for the food.

Gee, I wonder if they’re from that bakeshop, I asked myself sarcastically. Reaching for my wallet I asked “And how much would these be?”

Mrs. Cake looked surprised as she said “Well nothing of course, it’s just a little something for the town. Nothing gets a group of groggy ponies going like free cake!”

“Plus, it’s all about to go stale anyway,” grumbled a still tired Mr. Cake as he continued setting plates for a still absent populace.

While Mrs. Cake glared at her husband as he prepared an apology, I decided to obtain a particularly delectable looking bear claw that practically secreted an apple filling like a crushed insect. In a good way. Making a quick mental note to my schedule I bit off a small portion of the pastry and was somewhat disappointed to find I had bitten a non apple filled part. Granted the crust was crunchy and delicious but it was still crust. But on the second bite, I was rewarded with an almost overwhelming sensation of pure and simple joy. It wasn’t so much eating a bear claw, as it was eating a bear claw shaped apple pie.

Closing my eyes to savor the taste, I felt a strange surge of memory. I was reminded of a family dessert from my foalhood. I remember it distinctly because it was one of the few times mother and father could both afford to stay up a little late for dessert. Neither had to be at work until later in the morning so we all bonded over our slices of apple pie. My pleasant recollection was interrupted by Mrs. Cake.

Annoyed by the obtrusion into my foalhood memory, I responded “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

“Oh, I was just saying our Pinkie sure can tell what ponies like, can’t she hunny?”

“I don’t know how she does it. I guess she’s worth keeping around after all,” Mr. Cake or “hunny,” responded.

“Now is that even nice?” she asked in a way that was only three quarters mocking.

Through the haze of apple flavored bliss, that simple six letter word cut through like a knife in a particularly moist cake. “Did you say Pinkie?” I asked, the bear claw suddenly losing some of its perfection.

“Yep, she told us you’d probably be here, and that you struck her as a bear claw kind of pony. Whatever that means,” Mr. Cake said as he finished putting the rest of the pastries onto the table.

“Speaking of which, where is she?” Mrs. Cake asked.

Suddenly I heard the sound. The springy sound I had so quickly learned to dread. Something pink this way comes. I found myself thinking just before I saw the shape bounding towards me from the distance.

“Good morning Mr. Pendulum!” She shouted with an enthusiasm that would have been obscene in any other part of the day, but was especially so in the previously tranquil morning.

“Well, time to get the day old bagels.” Mr. Cake said as he, picked up the cart perhaps a bit quicker than was necessary.

“Oh, they’re only half a day and you know it,” his wife said as she followed him.

I wanted to call to them, but in that split second I couldn’t think of a socially acceptable way of shouting Please, by all that is pure and decent don’t leave me alone with her! Anything but HER! But all I could say was “Well, come back soon.”

I don’t even think they heard me.

But she did.

“Oh don’t worry, they’ll be back in no time. It’s a good thing too, because everypony should start getting here in about five minutes! Except the mayor, she’s always a little late. And Rainbow Dash, boy is she always super late! Normally I wouldn’t care but I mean come on! The Apples always get here early and they’re almost on the other side of town! I mean if you can fly then there–”

“And how are you doing this morning Miss Pie?” I forced through gritted teeth.

“Oh great! I made sure to get the Cakes up early. Usually I don’t have to, I mean they already work so hard already. But with the Winter Wrap Up and everything I wanted to make sure we were on time. I think we got here a little bit late though, Mr. Cake’s back isn’t what it used to be. Well that and we couldn’t remember where the yeast was. But then I reminded them that if the sun rises in the west then it–”

“Hold on,” I interrupted. “Did you say you made sure they got up on time?”

“Well sure,” she said with a look of surprise.

“Your schedule said everypony has to get here by 7:30 didn’t it? I know it looks like they’re all late, but no pony can resist free food from the Cakes! Heck, I wouldn’t be surprised if Rainbow Dash actually gets here to swipe a bagel. She has a weird loner thing when it comes to her bagels. In fact–”

Pausing, Pinkie looked at an imaginary wristwatch then looked up just as a blue blur swiped a donut from the table. She then immediately resumed with…

“Huh, I thought for sure she would go for the bagel. Then again it is a Wednesday. Well, as long as she doesn’t come back for seconds until everypony else has gotten their first. She’s usually pretty good about that. And it should only be about seven minutes until other ponies start showing up.”

No sooner had she said that then multiple houses began lighting in the distance as the town finally began to awaken. Whether from alarm clock, the wonderful smell of baked perfection, or actually respect for my schedule things were starting to look up.

Wait. Did she say your schedule? Does that mean? Is it possible?

“Miss Pie, are you telling me you actually read my schedule?” I said through a small mouthful of baked goodness.

“Well duh!” she cried almost looking offended.

“You did say if everyone followed the schedule we’d finish our wrap up on time! And I can’t celebrate the Winter Wrap Up Party if its late!”

“Oh, well I apologize for misjudging you Miss Pie,” was what I started to say but then…

“Oh sure we could still do a We Almost Made it Party! Or a Still Better than Last Year Party! But those aren’t anywhere as much fun. I mean I’m pretty good at making parties. Ok that’s a lie, I’m SUPER good at making parties but there’s only so much I can do with that! I mean–”

I began tuning out her party nonsense as I tried savoring the last bits of the pastry. Unfortunately this pink pony’s continued presence had made what was once so sweet taste as bitter as poorly made tea. (Or perfectly made tea depending on your preference).

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good party as much as the next pony. It’s always nice to have your acquaintances remind you that you continue to exist. But the brief glimmers of madness I heard in her snippets of nonsense... How could anypony be so blind to what was so obviously an unhealthy obsession? Some ponies just have no self awareness and there’s nothing you can do for that.

While looking around the square, I saw a few townsfolk approaching. Credit where credit is due, this pony knew her town. I didn’t recognize any of the townsfolk though if there barely whispered comments of “Thats the jerk that made us get up so early” were anything to go by they certainly knew who I was.

Pinkie seemed to recognize them as she began bounding toward each one in greeting. Giving each a specific pastry that they all wolfed down. Each one a completely satisfied customer. Relieved that her focus wasn’t on me anymore, I was able to focus on the incoming citizens with Pinkie’s ramblings becoming mere background noise.

Finally my search was rewarded with a friendly face. In the distance I saw the farmer Applejack appear wearing a green vest and accompanied by her mammoth of a brother. I recalled that I had nothing against this family, so I made sure to tip my hat in greeting to them.

I was pleased to see my hat tipping was met in kind, so I asked “And how are you this morning?”

“Oh fine I suppose. I just wish them other ponies would show up so we could get started,” she responded as she trotted over to the table to snag a donut.

Sensing a kindred spirit, I asked her “How late do you think they’ll be?”

“Pffft.” She responded with a dismissive snort.

Seeing my expectation for further detail she continued “Well, they’ve always been a little late even when it was at 8. I’m hoping it won’t be too bad today. The mayor is paying you for… whatever you’re doing here right?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Well of course,” I said, and before I could decide whether that was rudeness or simply ignorance, she continued.

“Well if she’s paying, then she might actually be here early. Of course you never can tell with her.” She said while devouring her donut.

“I take it you’re not satisfied with the mayor’s… abilities?”

“Well she tries, I’ll give her that. Heck, she does a good job most of the time. It’s just stuff like this, where she has to tell a lot of ponies what to do at once that she has problems.”

Trying to respond as non offensively as possible I asked, “So you’re saying she does a good job as leader, except when she actually has to lead?”

Laughing nervously she said, “Now I’m not saying that. I’m just saying uh…”

Her eyes began shifting nervously as she tried to come up with some clarification that wouldn’t boil down to criticising her elected official. She looked to her brother for support, unfortunately he was too busy eating a particularly good looking bear claw. Although judging by his expression he had eaten better. Impossible as that seemed to me.

Nevertheless, he must have been listening since he looked from me to his sister, and while continuing to chew his fritter, lifted a single hoof up to gesture to the town hall. Given the size of his limb, I couldn’t help but follow its direction to see the most unexpected sight of the Mayor walking out of the building. Somewhat frazzled looking admittedly but still very much here and… six minutes early!

“Excuse me Miss Applejack, but I must speak with the Mayor.” I said whilst nodding my head in a polite manner.

“Oh, sure thing! Just make sure to remind her about the speech thing. It’s only supposed to be four and a half minutes right?”

“And not a second more,” I said before flying toward the mayor, grinning to myself with the knowledge that ponies were actually reading my schedule. At first I was glad to see the Mayor since her presence in the town hall meant that technically she was here before I was. Therefore miracles did indeed exist and truthfully anything was possible. Sadly this was not to be.

My first sign that something was amiss should have been the large stack of notecards she had in her hooves, or the size of the podium that her poor secretary Amber Pointment had to lug around with her magic. I recognized the kind. That was a speech podium. A ten minute one at least. I would have to put a stop to this madness here and now.

After making sure my suit was straightened and my bowler hat balanced just right, I opened my wings and began hovering vertically off the ground with my front hooves behind the small of my back. Floating at a seemingly leisurely pace to the Mayor, I asked “And what do you have there, Mayor?”

Looking away from Amber’s heavy lifting, the Mayor looked towards me and happily said “Why this is my new speech! Only ten minutes long just like you said!” Then, as if forgetting I existed, she returned to looking through her accursed notecards.

I spent the next two seconds registering what she said. Finally I realized she must have been joking. It was a crass and tasteless joke but she was a politician after all, and you just can’t blame things for following their nature.

“Very funny Mayor. But you know I said four and a half minutes.” I said deciding to play along as I followed her to her podium.

“Oh no, I’m quite certain it was ten,” she said with a with a look of self satisfied self delusion that could rival Rainbow Dash.

“Mayor. I know what I said. You have four and a half minutes.” I almost growled as I realized she was serious.

Then, the mayor did something most unexpected. She actually seemed to listen to what I was telling. Even more unexpected, she did not look happy. If anything she looked angry. And judging by the facehoof her secretary was doing I may have made a serious error.

“Oh, I have four and a half minutes do I? I’m sorry Mr. Pendulum. Please remind me, who is paying for your services?” She said as she took one step towards me.

Despite floating several feet off the ground, I felt myself instinctively moving away from her treading hoof. “Well you are but–”

“And whose town is this?” she asked as she continued to move forward.

Again I found myself floating backward as I said “You are.” Although inside I was screaming No! This is not supposed to be happening!

“Well then Pardon me Mr. Pendulum, but as Mayor I think I have final say in any and all matters. And I say I am giving my speech.
What do you say to that?”

You could have heard a feather drop in that town square.

All around everypony was waiting to see how I could respond. (Even Pinkie froze while tossing a pastry into her mouth. How the pastry froze in midair was anypony’s guess.) I admit I was having a bit of a difficulty figuring out how to respond myself. My first instinct was to simply shout YOU INCOMPETENT DERANGED SOW! YOU HAVE FAILED TO DO YOUR JOB FOR DECADES AND YOU DARE TO CHANGE MY SCHEDULE JUST TO STROKE YOUR EGO FOR TEN MINUTES! YOU… YOU… IMBECILE!–right into her smug face.

Fortunately I rejected this initial response despite how satisfying it would have been. Although keeping it in did cause my left eye to very visibly twitch in agitation. Aside from that I made sure to give no sign of outrage. Instead, I slowly landed on the ground all the while maintaining eye contact with the Mayor. Twitching eye notwithstanding. I then simply stared at the Mayor for fifteen seconds as I calmed myself with the almost metronomel sounds of ticks and tocks in my head, waiting for her to make the first mistake.

She stared back at me with a look of satisfaction. This soon turned to confusion at my silence and self awareness at the attention we were attracting. Finally it happened.

She blinked.

Perfect.

“You’re right Mayor. You are in charge. Now much as I’m sure your citizens would love to hear your full speech, I’m sure you realize that they are all eager to get to work. And surely such an acclaimed speech writer as yourself can convey your ideas in a mere five minutes?” I asked while whipping out my pocketwatch to illustrate my point as well as check how we were doing on time. It was 7:24. If I didn’t get her to reduce her speech, the consequences could be catastrophic.

I am giving you an out. You’ll even be able to save what little face you have. Just nod your head, say your stupid speech and stay out of my way. I thought trying to will my thought process into her thick skull.

We continued to glare at each other for an additional five seconds until she finally said “Well of course I can. I am the Mayor after all.” And with a surprising amount of dignity she went to her podium and made quite a show of discarding various cards in her pile.

As I walked away from the self centered mare I couldn’t help but notice the townsfolk doing a poor show of acting like they hadn’t been listening to my little exchange. I decided to ignore their stares as I tried to hunt down another pastry. I was able to snag one of the remaining croissants when I bumped into Amethyst in her brown animal team vest.

“Hey, good job with the mayor.” She told me almost as surprised with her approval as I was.

“Thank you.” We’ll need every available minute because of your team. Speaking of which.

“And how is your team doing? They have looked at the schedule. haven’t they?”

“Don’t worry, my team can handle it. We’ve had a lot of practice and I have a good feeling about this year.” She said with a contemptible sense of satisfaction.

Oh yes, and I’m sure you’ve said that all five years you’ve been in charge.

“Very good.” I said. Looking around I saw a few more faces. Most notably Rarity and Fluttershy were both together talking about… whatever two ponies of such vastly different personalities could talk about. I was surprised to find that Rarity was wearing an animal team vest. Curious I asked Amythyst about it.

Her response was “Oh yeah, she makes some of the best bird nests you’ve ever seen. Seriously they make you want to live in them.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh she puts these bows and ribbons in them to make them look fancy. Heck some of them look better then my house.”

“And she does it all by herself?”

“Yeah, but she does it better than half of the animal team combined.”

What an… achievement. Hold on.

“Does she do anything else?”

“Well, not really. I mean she’s not very good with the animals, and she’s a bit… limited in what she’s allowed to do.”

“You mean because she’s not allowed to use magic?”

“Well, you’re one of those put everything out there ponies aren’t you?” she asked with what I’m sure was exaggerated offense.

“Not at all. I simply wanted to ensure that we were on the same page.” I replied.

“Speaking of which...” I continued while scanning my notes and comparing them to my watch.

“If the mayor actually follows the schedule she should be speaking–”

“Citizens of Ponyville!” The Mayor said in her best speech giving voice.

Seven seconds early. I know you did that on purpose Mayor.

“Well I must be off, Miss Amethyst. I hope you’re ready for today.”

“Of course I’m ready. I don’t care what your papers say, the animal team takes its job very seriously. Unlike some ponies I could mention.” She said while eyeing the sky.

Following her gaze I noticed that there was indeed a distinct lack of Rainbow Dash despite the fact she was one of the first to arrive in the first place. I didn’t know whether to feel sympathy for the pegasus that so clearly had a problem, or annoyance that said pegasus was completely incapable of recognizing their problem.

So distracted was I by my search that I when I looked over Amethyst had already joined Applejack in the unofficial “captain’s corner” of the chaotic circular crowd. So flustered was I by the sudden change that I almost missed a part of the Mayor’s speech.

“Also, I’d like to thank Mr. Pendulum whose expertise and planning will finally give us our first successful Winter Wrap Up in years! Isn’t that right Mr. Pendulum?” She asked with a slight edge to her voice.

I looked to see the entire town staring at me, waiting for some response.

Trying to throw me under the carriage? Very well Mayor. If thats how you want to play it.

Flying above the crowd so that I could be heard I shouted“Well of course Mayor. In fact, if you’re done with your speech we can get started. And I can guarantee Ponyville that by noon tomorrow we will successfully start Spring!”

With everypony looking at me, only I noticed the Mayor’s glare. I didn’t even need to look at my watch to know I had cut off her speech by at least two minutes. Suddenly a cheer erupted among the crowd which quickly spread like a sports cheer. I found myself grinning at the Mayor just daring her to try and start her speech again. But, credit where credit is due she didn’t get to her post without some means of knowing a crowds mood.

“Let the Winter Wrap Up begin!” She concluded.

This was met with some polite applause but nowhere near the amount I had received. As I started to fly to the “Captains Corner” I could still feel the eyes of the crowd watching me. Deep down I knew it was probably the sugar in the pastries or the fact I cut off the Mayor and her useless speech, but for now that didn’t matter. All that mattered was that right here, right now everypony was looking up to me.

All looking up to me…

WHOOOSH!

What the–

“Sorry I’m late Ponyville. Now are we going to get this Winter Wrap Up started or what?” Shouted a familiar grating voice from a familiar grating mare, wearing an unfamiliar blue vest .

Well it was nice while it lasted.

“How kind of you to join us Miss Dash.” I said.

“No prob.”

“Actually Miss Dash, it is a prob. In fact it is very much prob. How can you expect your team to take you seriously if you can’t even show up on time?” I know I wouldn’t.

“Geez. I said I was sorry. Besides, did I miss anything? Aside from another one of the Mayor’s speeches?” she said while rolling her eyes in a particularly infuriating manner.

I thought carefully about the question. Looking to the other captains I saw they too were considering the question and had probably come to the same conclusion. No she hadn’t missed anything, but that wasn’t the point. The point was about principle, about practicing what you preach, about us being late if we don’t get a move on.

Wait a minute…

“Ugh, can you talk about Rainbow Dash’s faults later? We said we were getting started so lets get started,” cried Amethyst.

“Agreed,” declared Applejack.

“Fine, but we’ll talk about this later.”

“Allright. Calm down mom.” she said with a face that would have looked much more appealing underneath a heavy blunt instrument.

Just ignore her. She is an imbecile and not worth your time. I thought as I looked to my schedule and ignored the twitching in my eye.

“Miss Dash. Is your weather team at the ready?”

Looking to the sky she seemed to make some mental calculations as she responded “The bird team is double checking their instructions before takeoff, the cloud team is arranging the clouds as we speak, and the others are getting ready to help the plant team with the snow.”

“And who is on your bird team? My notes say that is your most consistently… lacking group.”

“Don’t worry, we got Ditzy taking care of that.”

“Fine.”

Looking to the other captains I asked “I expect you’ve both made the proper preparations?”

“Yep.”

“Sure have.”

“Very well. You have your teams, you have your instructions, let us begin”

Three Hours Later.

Progress was.. going surprisingly well. With the additional half hour preparations (as well as a steady supply of excess baked goods) we were already showing in increase of 5% from last years records. Flying overhead I saw all of the ponies hard at work, particularly the plant team who were shoveling snow into wheelbarrows that were quickly transported to a pile to be melted later. After watching this for five minutes I recommended a more organized approach considering the current one was… haphazard to say the least.

Thats not to say it didn’t work, just nowhere near as well as it could. Too much focus was being given on completely clearing an area, despite the scheduled melting from the weather team. After a talk with Applejack, the teams were beginning to clear large portions of the town, leaving the remainder to be melted later.

Unfortunately, Amethyst complained that this could potentially lead to some flooding to the burrows to close to the town. Why they had been so close to the town in the first place was a question for another day. At the same time, Miss Ditzy was already a half hour late so I would have to talk with Rainbow Dash about sending a messenger. In addition.. what is that noise?

“Three months of Winter coolness…”

Ugh. Are they really starting that now?

Flying higher for a better look I saw my fears were true, they were singing. Even from my height I could hear them and they were just doing opening lyrics. I could hear their voices… and nothing else.

I listened in hope that this time I could hear the music. The music that could cause an entire town like this to burst into song for a brief moment of perfect synchronous harmony… But I couldn’t. I never did. I could never understand what moments made the songs happen, nor how an entire town could sing such a complex piece despite no practice sessions whatsoever.

“Winter Wrap Up Winter Wrap UPPPP!”

And there goes the chorus. It’s catchy I’ll give it that. I thought as I looked at a small group that somehow managed to sing while shoveling their snow in a manner I could only assume was intune to whatever music they could hear. I knew it was a necessary evil. That there was evidence going back hundreds of years of music to alleviate work fatigue, that it brought groups together. Not to mention that the town records indicated some of their best work was done to song.

But… why did they all have to look so smug about it?

Sitting on a rooftop I listened as the song came from all directions. Not just from the town, but the farm area, as well as the animal burrows. (Why they animals weren't awoken by this melodus racket I would never know.) It seemed every citizen was singing. To me it seemed a song without music, a fit of shared temporary insanity but to them, it was something that united them. Something that helped them put aside their differences for a single purpose. It must have been a beautiful song indeed but… but..

“Why can’t I hear it? Why can’t I ever be allowed to join? What makes them so special?” I yelled at the uninterested universe. In my outrage I ended up falling off the roof.

Through the rush of adrenaline as I righted myself bits of memory flashed through my mind.

FLASH

“Nothing wrong with him mam. Some foals just… can’t hear it. I’m sure he’ll grow out of it in, and if not I may have some prescriptions here–”

FLASH

“Well son you heard the singing. You should know by now to get out of the way. No the dancers can’t be held responsible, besides the swelling should go down in a day or two.”

FLASH

“It’ll be the best time ever. Just join the dance!”

“Be be be BEST TIME EVER JUST JOIN THE DANCE!”

“ENOUGH!” I shouted cutting the memory off and not caring who was around to hear me. Looking down I saw a vacant table with a few leftover pastries I decided a decent donut might be enough to calm me down.

“Let them have their songs. Let them have their dance. I’ve never needed it. I’ve never needed them. Once the song ends they’ll have to carry on, while I can keep going just the same if not better then all of them.”

Thats right, say it enough times, you might even convince yourself.

“SHUT UP!” I shouted only later realizing the futility of yelling at myself. Unfortunately I wasn’t alone.

“Jeez! I didn’t even say anything!”

That voice, there was something in it’s inflection, something unpleasantly familiar. Looking down I saw a small orange pegasi with a purple mane. Despite her distinctive appearance I must say I didn’t recognize her. Until she spoke in that same grating tone.

“I mean jeez if you wanted the chocolate you just had to ask,” she said in a tone just as bad if not worse than a certain tardy weather captain.

What fresh hell is this?

Author's Note

Hey everyone! I'm sorry for the major gap between chapters but I've been incredibly busy what with school and work and whatnot. However, I will do my best to be more consistent with future chapters. Please let me know what you think of this new one.

For an extra something to look foreword to, I am getting cover art made for my story by a very talented individual named PoisonSt. I have seen his preliminary sketch and if it's anything to go by, the final product will be fantastic.

A Relatively Productive Meeting.

“Geez watch where you’re flying, buddy, some of us have important practicing to do,” somepony said to me in a highly grating voice.

Why do I suddenly have the urge to punch something? And why is that voice so familiar? I thought as I picked myself up from the harsh and unforgiving snow. Already I felt a shiver because of my now soaked suit. Turning my head, I was just able to make out a light blue blur hovering before me.

“Hey, are you okay there?” the blur asked with what might have been genuine concern.

“Fine,” I replied as I reached for my spectacles, which had flown off from the impact. Wait, that voice, that color, it can’t be. Can it? Putting on my spectacles caused my vision to clear, as well as any doubts I had to the identity of my unintentional assailant.

“Good day Rainbow Dash. How are you?” I asked. Not that you deserve such a polite greeting.

“I’m fine. Believe me, I have worse crashes than that in my sleep,“ she said while gesturing with her hoof.

Suddenly her eyes squinted suspiciously, as if she finally processed my question. “Wait a second. I don’t think I’ve seen you in Ponyville before. How do you know my name?” she asked while hovering around me.

I was about to answer, when she rather rudely interrupted me to say “Hold on, don’t tell me. You’ve heard about all the cool stunts I’ve done here haven’t you? Everypony in town says they’re some of the most awesome things they’ve ever seen!” she said before performing some sort of aerial somersault as if to demonstrate.

Of course they do, you self-congratulating simpleton. “Actually Miss Dash, I simply remember you from our weather training days in Cloudsdale. We shared a couple of classes, if you’ll recall,” I answered.

Her grin contorted to a look of confusion. “What are you talking about?” she asked.

Ah, this must be one of her jokes. “We had Mr. Windbag’s class from 11-12:10, remember?”

Her response facial response was continued confusion. In contrast, her voice maintained that same bragging tone, as if she was proud of her ignorance. “Oh yeah! Of course. It’s just uh, well it’s been so long. And there were a lot of pegasi in that class. I couldn’t possibly remember all of them. So um, which one were you again?”

How could she not remember? Grabbing my pocket watch and flashing it to her, I said “The one with the watch,” with a slight hint of annoyance.

I was somewhat satisfied to see her confusion be replaced with recognition. “Oh yeah, you were the one that did that thing with the school bell right?”

That works. “Exactly.”

“So, what brings you to Ponyville er…”

“Pendulum. And my purpose is a matter of business. I’m here to help your town get your Winter Wrap Up done on time,” I said with some well-deserved pride of my own.

I waited three seconds for a response. It wasn’t a pleasant one. I heard a strange sputtering sound similar to escaping gas. I looked at Rainbow Dash and saw her lying on the ground, trying to hold in her laughter.

She failed.

“Ha ha ha ha!” she laughed while holding back tears. She succeeded, but barely.

“Is something funny Miss Dash?” I asked with visible annoyance.

“Heh heh, you think you can get our Winter Wrap Up done on time? What are you going to do? Memorize when we ring the town

bell? Let us know when the lunch break is?”

I am beginning to remember why I disliked you. “As a matter of fact Miss Dash, no. I am going to increase the productivity of each group, to help make sure you do your jobs for a change. What are you going to do?”

Her mirth vanished as she replied, “Hey, my weather team does their job. It’s not my fault the others can’t finish theirs on time.“

“Your weather team Miss Dash?”

“That’s right, I’m in charge of the weather team,” she said with renewed punch-worthy confidence.

Grinning, I said “Excellent. Then I expect you to be at the town hall meeting at four o’clock“.

“What town meeting?”

“Oh, the one I just talked the Mayor into making. She will be finding some way to announce it shortly. But since you’re here, I might as well cut out the middle mare and tell you myself,“ I said as I began to grab my suitcase.

“Yeah right. There’s no way the Mayor would let you boss her around like that!”

“Hey Rainbow Dash! You got a letter from the Mayor!” called out a cheerful voice.

Looking up, I saw an unusual gray mailmare with a blonde mane. I say unusual because she had bubbles for a cutie mark. For the life of me I couldn’t figure out what bubbles have to do with delivering mail.

“Thanks,” The weather captain grumbled as she ripped the letter open and read its contents.

“See you tomorrow at the Winter Wrap Up!” the mailmare said with an oddly infectious joy before flying off.

The same could not be said for my current companion, who glared at me as she asked “Do you have any idea what you’re doing to my training schedule with this?”

I felt a small pang of sympathy for the weather captain of debatable competence. If anypony understood the anguish from having a schedule unexpectedly changed, it was I.

“Believe me Miss Dash. Should everything go well, the meeting will take no longer than thirty minutes“ Not that you seem to have anything better to do.

“Fine. If the Mayor thinks you can help, I guess I’ll go along,” she said while still examining the letter for any possible loophole.

“Excellent. Now if you’ll excuse me,” I said as I grabbed my suitcase, adjusted my hat and returned to my original goal of going to the hotel to prepare for my presentation. I had just lost five minutes. Time was of the essence and I was very rapidly running out of it.

Fortunately, my two minute flight to the hotel was completely uninterrupted. The building itself seemed to fit the rustic charm of the town. It stood at just two stories with a thatch roof, and made of some light brown colored timber. Inside I found an elderly mare at the sign in desk. She had a sort of smile plastered on her that was two parts genuine and one part indifference.

Fortunately, she was efficient. Within moments of handing her the document I was handed my key, directions to my room and a small pamphlet regarding the hotel’s policies. Upon request I was even given a key for the window in my room for a speedier means of departure.

My lodgings were nothing special; a simple one-room, one-bathroom hotel room. It’d been lovingly adorned with such special features as a somewhat lumpy blue bed, a discoloured old rug, and a blank, sawdust covered desk. Meanwhile, the spare but clean bathroom contained a bar of soap and bottle of shampoo so tiny I doubt it could have cleaned a newborn infant. Fortunately, I had showered before setting hoof on the train and I only planned to be in this accursed town for two days at the most.

After unpacking my wind up alarm clock to place on the nightstand, as well as my suits for the coming days, I finally had the opportunity to take a look at myself in the mirror. My dark brown suit was wrinkled in addition to being soaked. And despite my best efforts, my bowler hat was similarly crumpled. But at least my black-rimmed spectacles were all right.

Fortunately, I had come prepared for this eventuality. Placing my ruined suit in a small bag for later, I replaced it with another suit and hat of the exact same make and color. After ensuring that my pocket watch cutie mark was clearly visible on my light brown fur, and my new hat was balanced on my head, I decided I was finally ready to prepare my presentation.

Taking the various notes, statistics, and graphs from my suitcase, I was able to get them into the proper order. I began reading the notes detailing the early, successful Winter Wrap Ups, while the graphs showed it’s steady decline, and the current abysmal failures. Using this data I would be able to discuss what the main failings of the current system were, as well as the possible solutions to fix it.

All in all it took me only 15 minutes to make sure everything was organized, as well as making the proper adjustments to my schedule to compensate for my ruined suit. Comparing my pocket watch with my wind up alarm clock, I saw that it was exactly 3:00 P.M.

“Thirty minutes until I have to leave,” I said as I looked at my schedule.

It read For the period between the meeting with the mayor, look out window and watch passerbys. Make sure to have suitcase on hoof. Bathroom break at 3:20.

Satisfied, I complied with my schedule. There were no noteworthy passing ponies except for some orange blur of a filly on a scooter. Some looked like they knew what they were doing. Unfortunately, most had that air of “just going for a walk” about them. This left a bad taste in my mouth.

Finally, it was time to depart for the town hall. Grabbing my presentation papers, I made it there two minutes early at 3:38 P.M. I was pleased to see that a small podium, as well as various stands, and other presentation tools, had been set up on the stage. I was the only pony there, but the fact that something had been done gave me a good feeling.

Taking advantage of the now professional stage, I set up the proper graphs and information and waited. I was rewarded with the surprisingly prompt arrival of the mayor at 3:43 P.M. Four whole minutes earlier than I expected.

“Hello, Mr. Pendulum,” she said with a slight pant, as if she had been running at a rapid speed.

“Good day, Mayor. I trust the team captains will be arriving within seventeen minutes?”

“Of course. I put our town’s best messenger pony on it.”

“Wonderful,” I replied, hoping that would be the end of it.

But the old mare hopped onto the stage and tried to take a look at my various documents.

“Ooh, are you going to use pictures for your speech? They do say a picture is worth a thousand words. Although personally I always felt that–“

She continued in the manner of a self-important speaker that spoke for minutes without actually saying anything. The perfect politician’s voice. Doing my best to at least look like I was paying attention, I kept an ear out for any of the captains. I was rewarded at 3:49 P.M.

“Howdy y’alll!” cried a cheerful farmer’s drawl.

Looking to the entrance of the town hall, I saw an orange mare in a Stetson hat come trotting in, along with a massive red earth pony.

“Oh wonderful! Applejack, thank you for coming on such short notice, I know you’re very busy.”

“Shoot Mayor, it’s nothing. Soon as I got the message that there was some new feller that could help us with this year’s Winter Wrap Up, well I just had to come running. And Big Macintosh was mighty curious himself. “

“Eeyup” said the red mountain of a pony.

“I take it you’re the captain of the plant team, Miss Applejack?” I replied using my brilliant methods of deduction.

“Sure are. Don’t think I caught your name, Mr…”

“Pendulum.”

No sooner had I said this, then she ran up to me and began vigorously shaking my hoof. “Well nice to meet you, Mr. Pendulum. My name is Applejack, and this here is my big brother Big Macintosh.“

I looked to “Big Macintosh,” who merely nodded his head in confirmation as his sister rejoined him. This struck me as odd, though I didn’t know why. I realized why two seconds later, when I saw that my hoof was now vigorously shaking the empty air.

“So, you think you can help our town Mr. Pendulum?” she asked while I stopped my hoof from shaking.

“Madam if I can’t do it, nopony can.”

“Mighty big talk there,” she responded, though in an inquisitive tone, as opposed to Rainbow Dash’s mocking one. So far I had no problems with this pony.

“I assure you Miss Applejack, it is more than just talk. Of course, you’ll see that when your fellow captains arrive. “

No sooner had I said that then a pink unicorn with violet mane and a cutie mark of three brilliant-cut diamonds walked in. She had a look of tired agitation on her face, as if her mind was preoccupied with future events. Events that she was confident would end badly, but must be endured anyway.

Looking in my direction, she asked in an annoyed tone “So is this the guy?”

“What do you mean Amethyst?” the Mayor asked.

“I mean is this the guy that’s making me close my jewelry store early just to attend some meeting about tomorrow?” she asked with an edge to her voice on the last word.

“I am, and my name is Pendulum. Miss Amethyst was it? You’re the captain of the animal team, correct?”

“That’s right,” She said. Although judging by her tone, she sounded anything but happy about it. Could she be genuinely aware of her incompetence? I wondered.

My thoughts were interrupted as she continued. “Now Mr. Pendulum, what I want to know is why you’re making me come here when I could be making a living? Do you have any idea how much jewelry I could be selling right now?”

I searched my brain for any knowledge about jewelry. Aside from being ludicrously expensive, I knew nothing about the craft. “Can’t say that I can.”

“Neither do I, but I can guarantee you it would be a lot more productive than a getting the Winter Wrap Up done on time meeting. I’m going to get enough of that from the mayor and her thirty minute speech tomorrow.”

“Actually, I have asked her to change it to four and a half minutes.”

“Is that a fact?” she said with would could be described as reluctant mirth in her voice.

Looking around at the farmers, and the mayor’s annoyed expression, she asked “Alright then, what are we waiting for?”

“Just Rainbow Dash. It’s only 3:57 P.M.” I responded.

“Pfft. She’ll be late. She always is,” she said in a tone that seemed to challenge one of us to prove us wrong.

Looking around, I saw that none of the other ponies seemed eager to do so. What happened next was an uncomfortable two minutes as we all stood in relative silence. The silence was somewhat shattered as around fifty new ponies entered the building.
The only one I recognized was Rarity. She seemed annoyed about something, and I could have sworn she was deliberately ignoring me. For the life of me I had no idea why. A few pleasantries were exchanged among the newcomers, but nothing of note.

Finally, forty-five seconds after 3:59 P.M. a faint noise could be heard. It was hardly noticeable – just a faint high-pitched whine of protesting air. A whine that grew into annoyance and finally anger as some object careened toward the town hall. Anticipating the danger (most likely from hard earned experience), the ponies in the hall moved to the sides of the room. Except for a brave Applejack, who quickly and carefully opened the door.

No sooner had she done so then a blue object roared into the town hall and just avoided a crash with a dramatic screeching of hoofs on wood.

“Did I make it?” the simple cyan speedster asked with a slight hint of concern.

Looking at my pocket watch, I saw that she made it with a mere second to spare.

“You are precisely on time,” I replied slightly sarcastically.

Apparently it was too slight because whatever concern she might have had, morphed into her standard confidence as she declared, “Well of course I did. I’m not the fastest flyer in Equestria for nothing.”

That didn’t stop you from being late to Mr. Windbag’s class every day I thought. This train of thought was backed up by the small but noticeable exchange of bits going on amongst the crowd. Particularly from a now very annoyed and most likely poorer Amethyst.

“Indeed. Now then, with the captains here we may begin.” I said as I looked upon the crowd that had separated into semi organized groups, comprised of the team captains and their team members.

I took out a few notecards and pointed to the first chart of my presentation.“As you can see, your town’s last successful Winter Wrap Up was seven decades ago. Since then there have been fluctuations, but generally speaking you have finished later and later every year. With last year being your worst at two days, four hours, and thirty-seven minutes.“

I paused as a loud grumble of recognition was spreading around the crowd. Judging by the angry expressions (particularly, the Mayor) I had opened up some humiliating wounds. Well good. They were self-inflicted and deserve a reminder.

When a lull in the grumbling had been reached, I continued.

“But do not lose hope Ponyville. You can still succeed in the coming days. After all your ancestors did it, why can’t you?”

Another grumble arouse, although this one seemed more positive than the previous one.

“It will be difficult, but it can be done. After all, you have procedures that have proven to be successful. By waking up the animals, you allow the weather ponies to melt the snow, thus allowing the farmers to well… farm. However, this strategy hasn’t been working lately, has it? Do you know why?”

Without waiting for a response I pointed to the next series of charts and continued. “No real planning, no official leadership, no structure whatsoever. What should be an organized effort to compensate for your… self-imposed restrictions has for years been a chaotic mess of delays, bad planning, and borderline anarchy. Well Ponyville that changes tomorrow.”

Removing the card from the stand, I reveled a copy of a glorious organized schedule. “This is a schedule I have constructed based on information from the previous year’s mishaps. Since we don’t have the time for a complete overhaul of the system, we must make do with an increase in efficiency. Starting with the animal team.“

Turning, I saw that Miss Amethyst was looking at me with a look of indignation. She rather rudely interrupted me to say “What about the animal team?”

Prepared for something like this, I responded “To put it bluntly Miss Amethyst, most of the failures of the past decades can be attributed to the animal team.”

I was again rudely interrupted, this time by a small mob of what I could only assume were the other members of the animal team. I tried to wait for their pitiful protests to end. After it continued for forty-five seconds, I turned to the Mayor. After eleven seconds, she figured out I was waiting for her to do something.

“Order! Order everypony! Settle down!”

“HEY! SHUT UP!” shouted another voice.

I was surprised to see it came from Rainbow Dash, making her annoying voice useful for a change.

“THE SOONER HE CAN TALK THE SOONER WE CAN GO HOME! SO CAN IT!”

“Thank you Rainbow Dash,” I said, appreciating the result of her statement, if not the sentiment.

Looking back at the crowd I continued, “As I was saying, without the animal team working to the best of their abilities the weather ponies cannot clear the snow, which leads to the farmers being unable to plant their crops. So I offer some simple possible solutions.”

“And what could you possible know about waking animals, huh?” Amethyst said, rudely interrupting me a third time.

Though she was near the back of the crowd, she seemed to almost will them away as she strode toward my podium glaring a hole through my head.

“Have you ever tried to wake up a bear? Or untangle a nest of snakes? We can’t just ring a loud bell!”

“Why not?” I asked, growing increasingly annoyed at her rudeness.

Looking exasperated at my ignorance, she explained, “Because it’s a delicate process! If you awaken them all at once then you have a rampage of very grumpy animals! They’ll go running everywhere and make the place a complete wreck. Don’t you know anything about animals?”

“No I don’t,” I replied.

“Well let me tell you something Mister… Wait what?” Amethyst replied her eyebrows contorted in confusion at my seeming cooperation.

“I don’t know much, if anything about animals. I’ve never had the need to. But what I do know about a little thing called history.” Looking down at her I asked “Do you know the saying about those who do not learn from history Miss Amethyst?

“That they’re doomed to repeat it?” She replied with agitation as if sensing a trap.

“Precisely,” I said, momentarily surprised at her exactness. Not wanting to let her revel in her petty victory, I swiftly turned her words into a metaphorical noose.

“Well, now I’m just confused Miss Amethyst. If you’re familiar with the phrase, why haven’t you followed it for the past five years?” I asked while checking the numbers for the previous years.

“Hey, we woke the animals at least 8% quicker last year then the year before that!” she yelled indignantly.

“Yeah!”

“Thats right!”

“I still have the scars!” Shouted several equally indignant members of the animal team.

“I’m not saying you haven’t improved” I said as I tried to respond to this delicate situation. “Although, lets be reasonable Miss Amethyst, it was only 6.4% faster and thats being generous.” Drat, you just had to show off didn’t you? Quick, before she says something! Maintain the momentum!

“Allow me to explain! There’s still been no major change in how procedures are done! You have one pegasus assigned to clear an entire area by herself for goodness sake! With the time she wastes waking them up so… “quietly and nice” hours of potential accomplishment have simply disappeared! ” “Quietly and nice,” I can’t believe they put that on an official report, I thought to myself as I tried to contain my revulsion.

“Oh no, you leave Fluttershy out of this!” cried a familiar and increasingly unpleasant upper class accent.

Turning I saw Rarity glaring at me with unbridled indignation as she continued. “Fluttershy is the best member we have, why she’s forgotten more about animals then you’ll ever learn in an entire lifetime!”

“Could have fooled me!’ shouted a pony hidden among the crowd.

“Who said that?” Rarity responded, her face turning a noticeable shade of red as her expression changed to that of calculating rage.

Not wanting to be an accessory to a potential assault case, I smacked my hoof quite loudly on my podium momentarily retaining the crowds attention.

“Now, as a potential time saving method I propose that we utilize a hierarchy of animals that need to be awoken.” Smaller animals susceptible to drowning will be awoken first. Larger animals capable of swimming or fleeing the water will be left to their own devices. This will increase efficiency by allowing the animal team to work on a smaller group of sleeping creatures. In turn this will allow the weather team to do their jobs that exponentially faster. Any objections?”

Looking among the crowd, I saw that many seemed satisfied or at least interested in this concept. The plant team and weather team were discussing it with varying levels of enthusiasm, with Applejack in particular looking intrigued. Even the Mayor was having her secretary write down what I said. Every group seemed happy, except the animal team.

Several looked at me in horror, as if I had suggested some heinous act. Amethyst looked like she was preparing some rant, and Rarity was covering her mouth with her hoof in melodramatic shock. But what stood out to me was an odd yellow pegasus with a pink mane I had not noticed earlier.

Or perhaps more specifically her eyes, to say she looked at me would be inaccurate. I could only describe her as staring at me. Not with contempt, but with some strange mixture of anger and disappointment, as if I had committed some terrible act that I should personally be ashamed of. I was so distracted by her eyes that it took me a moment to register Amethyst’s voice.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” I asked as I looked away from the yellow pegasus to look at the animal team captain.

“I said you want us to drown a bunch of innocent animals? What’s wrong with you?”

“Madam, I don’t know what you were heard, because I very clearly stated that the only animals that would have to deal with the flood, are ones that can swim anyway.”

“Yeah, in underwater tunnels! You know what happens when you try to swim in underwater tunnels? You drown!” Without waiting for me to respond, she she turned to the Mayor, and shouted “Mayor, is this really the best we could get? He obviously has no idea what he’s talking about.”

“Now wait a minute Amethyst, at least this fellers coming up with ideas. That’s more than you’ve done the past past five years,” interrupted Applejack.

Amethyst looked shocked at the farmer’s interruption, demanding “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Only that your team does the same thing every year, and every year my team has to work extra hard to pick up the slack.”

“Oh sure, blame the animal team, it’s always our fault. Nopony ever talks bad about the weather team.”

“Hey, you keep the weather team out of this!” cried Rainbow Dash.

“Why not!? You certainly keep out of doing any real work!”

What followed was a heated exchange between the three captains. It was at such a rapid pace, powered by years of frustration, that I could only understand every third sentence or so.

“Don’t you even know how farming works? You can’t just–”

“A little water never hurt anything. Look at–”

“Why don’t you try poking an angry grizzly bear–”

The energy from the trio’s bickering spread like an invasive insect as the entire town hall erupted into an explosion of arguments, disagreements, and general unpleasantness. There were even a few ponies in the corner who appeared to be sharpening pitchforks that must have materialized from the ether.

Turning to the Mayor, I shouted over the stream of stupidity “Can’t you get them to stop!”

“What am I supposed to do?” she asked.

“You’re the Mayor! Call for order! Call the police! Do something!”

“Hold on, I think I have a speech for just an occasion!” she said while searching through a small bag.

Meanwhile in the center of the horrid crowd, the captains continued to argue with their heads together like some conjoined creature out of some poorly produced Pulp magazine. Looking over my notes and their required reading times, I was beginning to doubt that I would get through discussing the rest of my schedule. Suddenly a strange voice broke through the crowd.

“Hey, will there be some sort of party later?” cried an oddly shrill yet low sounding voice.

Confused by the interruption, we all turned to look at the questioner. What we saw was an odd figure in a trenchcoat and fedora hat. It must have had a head, but if it did all we could see of it was a messy tangle of pink fur. Where there should have been a face, there was only a round pair of thick-rimmed glasses upon large pale nose with a mustache.

“And who might you be? I asked.

“I’m Pin– er umm.. I know! I’m Pinkagnito. Yeah that’s it, Pinkagnito.”

None of us seemed to know how to respond. Looking around the audience, I saw them eyeing the figure with annoyance, but also acceptance. As if they were use to this creature. Wait a minute, used to it…

“Mayor,” I whispered. “That’s Pinkie Pie isn’t it?”

“Most likely.”

“What should I do?”

“Just play along. Trust me it’s the quickest way to get this sort of thing over with.”

Sighing, I said, “Well, err, Pinkagnito. If everything goes smoothly there should be time for a celebration. But, if I can’t get through my presentation, I’m afraid that won’t happen.”

“Ok! I’ll leave you to that then. Just remember, Pinkie Pie throws the best parties! You should get her to prepare it!” the figure said, before shuffling away in what I could only describe as a bouncing lurch.

A small nervous chuckle could be heard after the apparition left. Grasping on to this newfound, and beautiful silence, I decided to continue with my presentation.

“Now about this work song you all have…”

Twenty-seven minutes and twenty-eight seconds later

Having gone through my schedule and answered a multitude of questions, the presentation was finally over. There had been some rather unnecessary delays. Including a strangely heated debate regarding the town’s annual work song, “Winter Wrap Up”. I had no real problem with the idea of the work song. After all, according to their towns reports large portions of work were done when this song was being sung. However, the town reports also showed that when done too much, it just lead to distractions that negated any benefits the song originally had.

It had taken me seven minutes to convince the townsfolk to shorten it from a fifteen minute ballad to a more manageable ten minutes. (Despite some random outburst that it would have sounded amazing in 8-bit. Whatever that meant). But after getting that out of the way, I was able to focus on real issues. Like starting the event at 7:30 instead of eight, utilizing the weather ponies in other teams when they weren’t doing anything, and convincing the animal team that sending just one pony to deal with over twenty-five animal dens was stupid. Even if said pony could supposedly talk to animals.

Rainbow Dash was unsurprisingly the first to leave, with the rest of the group following soon after. There were a few stragglers. The farmer, Applejack, stopped to tell me she thought I was onto something, and that her brother enthusiastically agreed with me. (I decided to take her word for it.) In addition, the Mayor stayed behind to supervise her assistant taking down the equipment. Seeing as this was unimportant to me, I decided to leave and return to my hotel room.

As I flew out I ended up passing that strange yellow pegasus from earlier. Despite being closest to the door, she was one of the last ones to leave. It was as if she had been too nervous to tell the other ponies that she was there first. She still looked nervous, half of her face concealed by her hair while the other half looked it was trying to work up the courage to tell me something.

“Is there something you want to say madam?” I asked.

In responsed, she emitted an “eeep” and seemed to hide behind her mane even more while paradoxically standing her ground.

After waiting five seconds for a response, I continued leaving the building. But I was interrupted when I heard a slight whisper.

“Why do you want to hurt the animals?” she asked.

“Pardon me?”

“I said why do you want to hurt the animals?”

Frowning, I said “Speak up, I can hardly hear you.”

After breathing a deep gulp of air, her response was done in a surprisingly firm tone as she seemed to almost demand “Why do you want to hurt the animals?”

Satisfied I answered, “Madam, it has never been my intention to hurt the animals. Truth be told, I don’t care about them at all. If they stay away from me, I am more than content to let them live their lives.” It’s when they interfere with my job or progress that I begin to despise them.

“But those things you said… You can’t really expect us to just flood some of the animals homes do you?

“Of course not.”

“Oh, thank you,” she said with relief.

“I expect the weather team to do that.”

That relief turned into a surprisingly unnerving flash of anger. I decided a quick response was required.

“Look, I understand we can’t do that for creatures that actually burrow underground. Your… enthusiastic captain explained that well enough. But please enlighten me, why do we need to awaken bats? It’s not like they’re anywhere near the ground. Or the bears!

What damage can a few inches of water do to bears?”

Her anger seemed to have softened, but her expression shifted to one I always dreaded to see. The expression of an expert that had just been asked a question, and was fully prepared to answer it.

“Well, one of the bear cubs is still terrified of water, not to mention they tend to sleep on their stomachs so the water could get into their noses. A bears nose is very sensitive you see. As for the bats, well you’d be surprised how–”

“Well madam, you clearly know much more about this than I do. I’m sure you’ll do fine tomorrow now if you’ll excuse me–”

“But wait! There’s no way we can wake all the animals in time without causing some sort of problem. We just don’t have the time to prepare.”

Oh you’re right! You’ve only had ALL YEAR TO PREPARE! Gritting my teeth in frustration I just managed to keep my voice even as I tried to explain to this… unusual mare.

“Do you care about the animals Miss…”

“Fluttershy. And yes, more than anything in the world,” she said with a smile showing through her pink veil of a mane.

Ah, so you’re the “animal expert” then. “Even your town? Your friends and neighbors? Don’t you care about them?”

“Well of course I care about Ponyville–”

“Then you must be aware that unless those animals are awoken, your town will be a punchline for every newspaper in the area right?”

“I don’t read that many newspapers actually.”

Thats not the point you insufferable– “Look madam, it’s my job to help your town. But I can’t do it unless everypony does their part. You still have a copy of the schedule right?”

“Well yes but–”

“But it’s not perfect I know. I’ve only had two days to work on it. And even then it was based on your towns, disorganized records, but I have confidence that if anypony can step up to the challenge, its the renowned animal expert Miss… err.“

“Fluttershy.” she replied with annoyance radiating from her one visible eye.

“Exactly! Then you had best find a way to wake them, or I’m afraid we’ll have to improvise. And Miss Fluttershy?”

“Yes?”

“I do not, like to improvise. And I will not let a few bears stand in the way of my job. Now, good evening.”

Without waiting for a response, I flew out the door eager to leave for the safety of my hotel room. As I flew I felt an unusual concern. Had I been too harsh towards her? Was I a bit rude towards the end? She was supposedly an expert on animals, after all, so I should give her words some merit. On the other hoof, if she really loved her animals, why didn’t she have them hibernate in an area that wouldn’t be flooded? As I pondered this, my thoughts were interrupted by a horribly familiar springy sound.

“Hey, Mr. Pendulum! How did your meeting go? Did you see anypony interesting?” asked the bouncing ball of buffoonery.

“It was adequate, Miss Pie. There was an… interesting fellow, yes. He said you threw the best parties.”

“OOOH! Did he have a trench coat, fedora hat, fluffy head and a large pale nose with a mustache?”

“Yes, do you know this pony?”

“Nope, never heard of him. But he must be pretty smart if he knows about my parties!” she replied.

I don’t even care any more I thought, as I began flying toward my hotel room. As I left, I could hear her horrifying hops as she pursued me.

“So, what are you going to do now, Mr. Pendulum?”

“Nothing.”

“Oh come on, nopony ever does nothing if you really think about it. I mean you’re always breathing, blinking, or even sweating if it’s hot. Of course there's also your organs. I mean your heart’s always beating, your lungs are expanding, and your pancreas… Well, I don’t really know what your pancreas does. Now that I think about it, it almost sounds like a pastry. Like a jelly filled pancreas, maybe with some icing to go on it–”

“Fine! Do you want to know what I’m doing?”

“Oh yes! More than anything thing ever! Today! At this moment!”

“Here!” I said throwing my schedule at her in an attempt to find solace from her inane conversation.

I waited as she started reviewing my schedule with an oddly serious air. Meanwhile, I watched the ponies leaving town hall. The secretary (Miss Pointment I believe was her name) was carrying various equipment, while the Mayor continued to supervise.

There was nopony else of note, except for Fluttershy, who was leaving with Rarity, of all ponies. Whatever their conversation was, it seemed to have been directed towards me. Even from this distance, I could see Miss Rarity glance in my direction, and make a very audible “Huumph.” Just before continuing to talk with Fluttershy, in what appeared to be a comforting manner.

“Say, Mr. Pendulum?” asked the pink ball of fluff that had suddenly appeared before me.

“Gaugh! Stop doing that!” I yelled as I jumped back from the horrifying pink mane.

“Is this really what you’re doing tonight?” she asked with a look of incomprehension, seemingly ignoring my previous outburst.

“What do you mean?”

“Five o’clock, be back at the hotel. 5:01 P.M., greet secretary. 5:02 P.M., return to room. 5:03 P.M., remove suit. 5:04 P.M., use restroom. 5:06 P.M., study notes. 5:30 P.M., order a sandwich–”

“Are you going somewhere with this?”

“Yeah, I found this weird part. Hold on, let me skip a little, um… 6:45 P.M. sit on clocktower. 7:00 P.M. listen to the bells and watch passersbys for five minutes – Oh yeah! Here’s the weird part! 9:30 P.M. go to bed. What’s up with that? Who goes to bed that early?”

“Early? Miss Pie, the Winter Wrap Up is tomorrow at 7:30 A.M.! If anything, that’s pushing it. Aren’t you going to bed early tonight?”

“Of course! Do I look crazy to you? But I’m not going until at least 10:30! I mean, I still have so much to do like–”

“Stop!” I yelled, unwilling to continue listening to the cacophony of insanity that spewed from this creature's mouth like flooded river. In response, I was greeted with… silence. Beautiful, golden, silence. Curious to see what must have been a rare sight, I looked down to see her floating in midair as if frozen.

“How are you doing that?”

“Doing what?” she asked, while continuing to desecrate the laws of physics by her mere existence.

“You’re floating in mid air!”

“No I’m not! I just fall slowly sometimes!”

I blinked, trying to process such an absurd statement, and was rewarded with the sight of her standing on the ground as if nothing had occurred.

“Alright, enough of this.”

“Enough of what?”

“What will it take for you to leave me alone!”

“Today?”

“Sure!”

“Well just a smile, silly!”

“Thats it?”

“Yep,” she said with a grin filled with an impossible amount of teeth.

“So if I smile, you will leave me alone?”

“I promise. No wait! Not just a promise, a Pinkie promise!”

Sweet Celestia on a stick.

“Very well,” I said before contorting the corners of my mouth into a slight grin.

“Now go away,” I said through gritted teeth.

“That’s not a smile, that’s a grin!” She said as if she were some connoisseur of smiles.

Checking my watch, I saw that I had already lost four minutes. I continued trying to stretch my facial muscles into their unfamiliar position. To make things more difficult, Miss Pinkie stared at me with an expression of bizarre anticipation. Finally, now fully conscious of the disappearing seconds, I forced my cheeks upward through sheer force of will in what I hoped she would consider a smile.

Pinkie pondered my expression with a hoof on her chin and a raised questioning eyebrow. Several seconds passed, as she contemplated my increasingly sore face. For whatever reason, I could have sworn I heard the sound of felt rubbing together. Before finally…

“I guess that’s ok, and I did Pinkie promise,” she said with a slight frown.

Suddenly cheering up, she declared “Well I’ll see you tomorrow, Mr. Pendulum!” before hopping merrily away. Most likely to prey on some other pony’s precious time.

And to think it’s not even five o'clock yet. It’s only… 4:56 P.M.!

“Confound that pink pony,” I whispered before flying as fast as I could to my hotel, lest she forget her promise and return to steal my time.

I was still five minutes late.

Author's Note

So, what did you think of chapter 2? Please leave a comment below.