Entirely Improbable

"I think I might be crazy."

This gave the mare pause. Happy Days sat momentarily frozen, a small smile stuck on her muzzle and her light blue forelegs steepled in front of her. Whatever she had expected of this meeting, this was not it. Regaining herself, she blinked and shifted her position slightly, blowing a red bang from her eyes to get a better look at her possible future patient. "That's unfortunate to hear... John?"

The dull-grey stallion nodded his assertion to the name. Taking a moment to gather her thoughts, Happy glanced again at the woefully incomplete entrance exam file of the earth pony sitting across from her. The pleasantly familiar jingle of her teal magic hummed out as she opened her left drawer to withdraw a patient exam notebook along with several meticulously sharpened pencils. One of the benefits of being a unicorn therapist was being able to focus body language and eye contact on the patient while still taking detailed notes.

"Your file indicates that you're not at all familiar with Ponyville or Equestria, what land are you visiting us from?" Sometimes, stallions visiting from other countries would feel overwhelmed by culture shock at seeing the gender normative expectations of pony society compared to the one they grew up with. Happy hadn't seen any such cases herself, but the cities with more tourism reported several cases of gender confused stallions cropping up. With his uncombed short cropped black mane, self assured stance, and firm gaze, he could fit the bill.

The fact that Twilight Sparkle was named in the slot where a stallion's escort is declared only solidified this possibility. Perhaps a foreigner visiting Celestia's pupil? Possibly not. The stallion kept glancing at her note taking, clearly uncomfortable with her continual use of magic. Surely a visitor to the Element of Magic wouldn't be so uneasy around magic like this? Ceasing her spelled note taking, Happy set the paper before her to write in a more conventional method on the polished Apple-wood desk. They made apple furniture from destroyed orchard trees once in awhile and it had been a gift from the Apple's after years of helping them move past that incident with their parents. The poor red stallion still hasn't recovered, though Applejack was certainly doing better.

"I'm afraid part of the problem is that I don't know from whence I came." His mouth was in an uneven line and his gaze wavered. Hmm, was that a lie? But his ears hadn't moved. Happy held onto that thought for a moment, realizing that his ears hadn't moved at all since he'd entered. They were left instead at fully erected alertness. Nor had his nostrils flared to take in the scent of the new surroundings and occupant. Most stallions unconsciously used their enhanced muzzle to smell their surroundings as a defense measure as they picked up on many things based on scent.

"Is it a matter of amnesia or long term memory loss?" These were serious medical concerns, but hardly ones needing therapy. Placing the pencil she'd taken up down, Happy began floating her notebook of medical practitioners and their specialties over from her letter desk.

"I wouldn't say I was possibly insane if that were the case." She nodded along with his statement, having received her book of contacts and opened it up, looking for brain and mind doctors with practice focuses that could be important for him.

"Ah, I see. Well, that's a good place to start then. What makes you think you're mentally unstable?" Happy Days continued leafing through the different contact information. 'Bounce Back - Cognitive Recognition, Frontal Cortex, Brain Stem Damage', 'Dreary Dream - Normative Sleep Pattern Analysis, Insomnia' -

"My only memories are those of being a different species in a different universe."

'Frankly Fine - Concussion Exams, Brain Contusions', 'Frankly Fine - Concussion Exams, Brain Contusions', 'Frankly Fine - Concussion Exams, Brain Contusions', 'Frankly Fine - Concussion Exams, Brain Contusions', 'Frankly Fine - Concussion Exams, Brain Contusions' - Happy Days blinked after realizing she'd been reading the same name for some time. Slowly setting the list of contact information down, she looked once more to the stallion across form her. His unsteady grimace was a good match for her blank stare.

"So you believe you're an alien from a different world?" She'd taken her patient exam notes back up in the teal glow of her magic to better observe the patient while still marking the relevant information she discerned. He seemed more uncomfortable with the conversation than her magic at this point.

When she had transferred herself to this practice after completing the required courses in Canterlot, she had known Ponyville had a small reputation for oddballs and other strange folks with it's well documented proximity to the Everfree Forest, but this conversation was still out the clear blue for her. Like a cloudless sky delivering an unexpected torrent of water, she had a monotone colored stallion sitting on a red cloud cushion in her soft beige wallpapered office saying he thinks he's an alien from beyond their world.

The poor mentally afflicted stallion - his mothers and sisters must be awash with grief - shook his head before casting weary grey eyes to her own pink pools, "Absolutely not. That would be absurd."

Happy blinked owlishly before her eyes set into a stern gaze. Was this stallion wasting her time with jokes? "What? Didn't you just sa-"

"Hold Ms. Days." Her angry questioning ground to a halt. He'd called her Ms. Days. How forward of him! And, and he'd interrupted her. She wasn't used to stallions doing that. Actually, not many interrupted her at all after she got her medical license.

"My apologies Ms. Days," - her heart fluttered as he did it again. Even if he was a confused patient, hearing her second name from a fit stallion like this was a little much for the mares heart -, "I don't mean to be vague or circumspect. It's just that, this isn't an easy conversation for me and... allow me a moment to fully explain my situation, please?"

Calming herself down, Happy gave a nod, "Please, continue at your own pace. And, ah, it's Ms. Happy if you don't mind?" Hopefully he wouldn't be upset at her denial of his familiarity, but it simply wasn't appropriate. She could get accused of trying to take advantage of a mentally unwell patient by leading him on!

"Ms. Twilight requested that as well. Is it normal practice to use the first name with honorifics?" The stallion looked unsure, giving a clear physical message for the first time as he raised a hoof to his chin in contemplation. His ears had still yet to move though, perhaps it was a condition? She also noted that he was very polite, suggesting a controlled or sheltered upbringing that honed his manners.

"Yes, typically Equestrians that have just met will use the first name of a pony on it's own." So he just didn't know. Happy wasn't sure if she should be pleased about that or not. Obviously he lacked knowledge of Equestrian culture all the same though, or had forgotten it whenever whatever this is happened. Hmm, was John Smith really his name then? It was an unusual and awkward pony name to be sure, though not entirely absurd. Happy Days didn't think anyone would want to smith a pair of long johns. Chain mail long johns sounded like they'd chafe. Maybe john was the name for a foreign metal tool or object?

"I see. My apologies for any slight my ignorance gave you then." He bowed his head as a show of submission after his forward actions before, this was a good sign. Perhaps some of his internal knowledge of social expectations still remained?

Finally raising his head, the stallion cleared his throat before entering his lengthy explanation. "To start, as I said, my only memories are those of being a different species in a different universe. But, I am obviously a pony, not a human. I'm obviously on Equs, in Equestria and Ponyville, not on Earth in the United States. I questioned the librarian here, after getting referenced there for any information I needed, about the possibility of trans-dimensional travelers and she explained it was an absurd notion, as I myself had thought. Persisting further, I questioned about mind magic and memory tampering and she explained it was difficult to neigh impossible to utterly rewrite a ponies mind."

Pausing for a moment, the stallion worried his thin lower lip - which was only a slightly darker grey than his own grey pelt coloration - with uncertainty before continuing, "This leaves me with only one reasonable possibility; I'm most likely a pony who has lost his mind to a fabricated fantasy of internal origins. Where every memory I hold must be false despite their clarity. It's why I asked if there were psychiatrists, to submit myself, and my mental illness, for purview. To start finding the source of my ailment as well as in case I could be a harm to those around me. This could be, after all, but a fleeting moment of clarity to an otherwise madness addled mind."

The pencil scribbled furiously through his explanation, quoting it down word for word for future reference even as she mulled over the words she'd been presented with. This case was too unusual, she would need to proceed with caution lest she make matters worse. She didn't have any experience to draw from either.

First and foremost, she should confirm the severity of his mental condition. After that, depending, she could see about his physical well being while formulating a proper methodology to approach this unusual case from. "May I ask a few quick questions of you John?"

"Please, of course." The stallion gave a brief nod to her, obviously differing the conversation to herself.

"Do you ever see things others either don't see or pretend not to see?" Do you hallucinate but don't realize you're hallucinating essentially. She had to ask the question in a way that allowed the patient to assume they're - of course - correct about what they witness.

"I can't say I've had that happen, though I only woke up like this earlier today. I thought levitation and magic was a hallucination at first, as I had never witnessed anything like it before, but Twilight Sparkle was quick to clear up this confusion," He paused to gesture a hoof at her floating and quickly filling patient exam notes, "The same goes for when several pegasi were moving clouds, which I still don't understand the mechanics of despite Ms. Spark- Twilight's lengthy explanation." Doesn't/Didn't know about Magic was added to the list. Perhaps he was kept in a community that had no unicorns or pegasi? A trbalist earth pony sect? She'd heard there were still some of them around, living nomadicaly - in the ancient traditions - in the sprawling meadows east of Canterlot.

"I see, that's good. Now then, have you ever heard sounds or voices that others couldn't hear or pretended not to hear?" Do you have audio hallucinations?

"I'm not hearing voices or sounds without explanation, no. Though, again, I did only wake up this morning with this problem." Close, but not quite definitive enough of an answer for her.

Happy nibbled on her lower lip for a moment, trying to consider the best way to proceed with the thought. Finally, deciding on a good approach she tried again, "So you haven't heard any voices, or anypony, taunting you with insults, aiming to make you paranoid, depressed, or incising you to anger?"

"No ma'am, nothing like that so far." He shook his head again and Happy Days let out a breath. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad?

The last one was the big question though. He seemed to be very collected so far - having an air of calm rationality and intelligence she rarely saw in stallions - so she was hoping for the best."Alright, that's great! Here's the last one, and please be as honest as possible. Describe the most violent urge you've had today and the reason you felt it."

"The most violent urge? Well... I guess it was at the library." Seeing him hesitate, Happy gestured for him to continue. Twilight Sparkle could be grating at times, so this wasn't too surprising. Did her haughty academic attitude vex him? Or was it her stuck up Canterlot attitude? Several ponies had remarked to Happy Days about being upset at being talked down to by the mare.

"Well, yes, it was at the library when I asked about Equestria as a nation. Specifically the part where she explained it's executive branch, it's rulers the princesses. Apparently they raise and lower the sun?" Seeing him looking for confirmation, she gave him a nod. 'Didn't know about Celestia and Luna's solar cycling, grew up fully isolated?' was added to the observations.

"Well, after hearing that, I had to resist the strong urge, the incredibly strong urge actually, to bang my head upon her table, and wall, and door, and... and any hard surface really." He was rubbing a hoof across his broad muzzle at the end of his explanation, eyes closed in apparent pain. 'Seeks to harm himself for his errors/short-comings, perhaps abused for mistakes by his mothers?' yet more included in the dwindling blank space of her note sheet.

"Thank you for answering my questions, that was very helpful. I hope you won't harm yourself like that though as it's never productive nor healthy." Taking a moment to shuffle his entrance exam information sheet on top of her collection of notes, she let the pencil settle upon the desk as well, having collected the most pertinent data she'd need.

Steepling her light blue hooves in front of her, Happy prepared to deliver her verdict. "Now then, John Smith, I have some good news that I can share with you now that will brighten up your day at least. Though first, I should say this is a very unique situation you're in and to best aid you in recovering from this mental ailment I will need some time to look into your circumstances and decide on the best method to proceed with."

He nodded with a small smile of his own in response to her most empathetic smile. The poor pony looked so unsure, even with his alert ears. She'd need to have the medical examiner perform a response test for them. "Thank you Ms. Da- Happy. Know that all your efforts are appreciated. I may not be showing it much, but I am rather upset by this whole affair. Knowing that every memory you hold - of precious moments and loved ones - is most likely utterly false is... world shattering to say the least."

The grey stallion was visibly shaking now as he rubbed a fore hoof along his left leg with moistening eyes. She had expected this to happen eventually and it was also a sight she sought to change with her career. Her cutie mark of a brightly lit sun amidst clouds meant she tried to bring light back into ponies lives by clearing the clouds that try to dim their days. Metaphorically speaking of course. Getting to her hooves and off of her own cloud cushion, the mare moved from around her desk to gently embrace the stallion around his withers and fore legs.

Stallions tended to withhold their pain and hurt longer than mares - not feeling strong enough to display their emotions and vulnerabilities so freely with others - but that didn't mean they didn't feel anything at all. It just took effort and a good mare to find the subtle undercurrents of a stallions heart. Rubbing her hoof along his crest, withers, and back, she whispered to him how it would be alright and that they'd figure it all out. This would build their repertoire and establish herself as a mare he could trust and follow.

Being this close, she could now tell that he smelled fairly clean, though there was the definite scent of forest and grass clinging to him. Was he lost in the wilderness before he wandered into town? A victim of Everfree's magic toying with his mind perhaps? She had seen poison joke victim's, but this didn't seem to fit the bill. Something worth noting, certainly. Twilight was here as his escort, it would be one of her questions for the mare while Happy checked John into a medical examination visit.

After a moment, she heard him cough and so let him go. The unicorn had expected him to cry more than he had after being embraced, or perhaps silently sob and heave several times, but it looked like he was more embarrassed than anything given the blush. "Thank you, miss. I think I'm fine now."

Taking the reaction in stride she shot him a beaming smile and squeezed his wither with a fore hoof, "Of course John. Know that I'll be here to help you in any way I can. This will be a troubling part of your life, so keep in mind that you're not going through it alone, okay?"

"Right, yes, well.. umm.. yes. *gulp* You mentioned some good news?" He appeared to be fairly flustered from the continued contact. Either she was prettier than she thought or he wasn't used to being comforted. Was he neglected during his upbringing or so sheltered he'd never been touched by a mare outside of his family? Another thing to note.

Removing her hoof, she turned and began walking to the window. Once there she peaked at the weather schedule to confirm it would be a light drizzle in the evening. Outside the clinic there were several light clouds still being positioned by the local weather ponies, the sun slowly sinking towards the horizon as the evening began encroaching. "Yes, I can definitely state that you are most assuredly not crazy, nor insane."

"I'm not? I'll admit to only having a passing familiarity with the concept of psychiatrics, but surely I am! Given the odd disconnect of my memories and reality, what other explanation is there?" Glancing back, she could see he was looking at her with disbelief, but that was okay. Disbelief towards good news is always a good thing as it meant things were better than the listener had anticipated.

"Psychiatry, not psychiatrics." Grabbing her dark blue and red checkered rain coat complete with a hood, it complimented her red mane nicely she knew, Happy slipped it on before turning to the stallion and gesturing that the charcoal motif pony should follow as she proceeded to the door to the reception area. "And nope! Being crazy involves wild and possibly violent behavior while you're an appropriately mild mannered and calm stallion."

She beamed him a quick smile in response to his unsure one after her compliment on his social attitude before continuing, "On the other hoof, being insane means having a state of mind that prevents normal interactions and behavior. It's true that you're bewildered by Equestria, and are missing a lot of knowledge, but that could be attributed to ignorance rather than any obstacle preventing you from engaging with reality along with everypony else."

Opening the door for the stallion with her magic, she waited for him to exit the room before closing and locking it behind her. The oak door held a gold engraved plaque that read 'Happy Days - PonyVille MD.' Turning away from her door, she took in the small room with several other doors placarded as hers was along with a few potted bushes of the non-edible kind - not that some ponies didn't try eating them anyway - situated along the walls between. There were several benches and cushions in the waiting area, along with a table covered with reading material deemed of suitably safe content. One such magazine, 'Rocks, Gems and Geology Today' was floating back to the table in a purple aura as the stallions current escort begin trotting to them.

It was while waiting for the prized student of Celestia to reach them that Happy Days realized she'd only seen grey pelt on John's thigh as he'd walked past. A quick. and polite, glance confirmed it: he had no cutie mark!