A Discordant Family
Under any other circumstance, a day with no clouds in the sky would have had Pinkie bounding from house to house, shouting from the rooftops about clouds or butterflies or something to that effect, but not after her previous day’s adventure. Traveling with the Apple family was something she hoped she would get to do more often, now that she might be included, but she was secretly dreading that proof would come up, disproving her hopes and dreams. So, in the interest of settling those fears once and for all, she had locked herself in Twilight’s basement, vowing not to leave until she had solved the mystery. When Twilight revealed that the family trees were up on the second floor, she amended her vow to encompass the rest of the library, unlocked the door, and headed up.
Starting with herself, she went upward, trying to find and connection to the Apple family. She found her way back to the blurred spot, but as a node for multiple families, she couldn’t tell whether it said “Pie” or “Pi”. She REALLY hoped it was her family of rock farmers who filled that spot, not the way less interesting mathematicians. She climbed up her family tree, keeping a sharp eye for any Apples. While doing this, she visualized this task as a tree, with her as the trunk, and her family spreading out above her, branching and splitting. A tree was really a good metaphor for this, Pinkie concluded. When they stopped for a meal, Pinkie would share her revelation to Twilight. Right before she fell into the trap of those first thoughts about the cupcakes waiting for her, she saw a small branch, breaking away from her family and going nowhere. If Pinkie understood it correctly, that would mean that that someone had no family. Deeply disturbed by this, Pinkie pulled a magnifying glass out with a whip of her mane, and peered closely at the tiny tangent. With a gasp that made Twilight start three floors above, Pinkie blasted into the air, with an accompanying salvo of fireworks that Twilight didn’t have laying around.
“What?!? Genealogy REALLY IS better than a whole apple pie with a glass of—”
*SNAP*
“...Chocolate milk?”
Staring at the newfound glass of said milk in her hoof, Pinkie turned towards the source of the snap, finding the draconequus sprawled across a pile of books that had fallen off their shelves during Pinkie’s broadside of explosives. Twilight, rushing downstair to investigate the various exclamations, explosions, thuds, and tears in reality that had just occurred. Staring first at the glass of chocolate milk she would’ve sworn she didn’t own, then at the draconequus that had only just arrived, she growled and stepped forward.
“YOU!” Twilight exclaimed. “After the mess you left us last time you were here, what makes you think you are welcome here. Or, for that matter, how are you here? I didn’t summon you!”
“Oh, Twilight, how naive you are. I am Chaos incarnate; what makes you think I require summons? Or would respond to one, for that matter?” Taking a sip from a glass of chocolate milk similar to Pinkie’s, Discord shifted into a more comfortable position and grinned at Twilight.
“You certainly did last time I summoned you,” Twilight smugly asserted, the sneer evident on her face. “Why else would you come?”
“What, and miss your merry little quest for friendship? What kind of friend would I be then?” At this point, Discord had finished the glass and the milk, and turned towards Pinkie. “So, have you been experiencing any of these symptoms? Unexplained senses, the ability to move incredibly far without moving very far at all, a disregard to physics, a disregard to police, a disregard to the Physics Police (I hate those guys. Not a drop of humor between the bunch of them), the love for chocolate milk, etc.”
At this, Twilight turned to stare at Pinkie. This did seem like Pinkie, suspiciously so. She had always been extremely lucky, finding things out of Twilight’s books faster than Twilight could, almost like the plot device characters out of the novels Twilight had read. Plus, Twilight had had to intervene on Pinkie’s behalf several times as a princess, which she hated to do, to prevent the Physics Police from dragging her off to jail. Speaking of this, how did Pinkie manage to break the rules of the universe so many times anyhow? This led to one of Twilight’s pet peeves, her “Pinkie Sense”. She had never come to terms with this, as she had given up to ward off the imminent metal breakdown she had felt approaching yet again. How in the world could Pinkie—
Suddenly flying through the air, tackled by Pinkie, Twilight had the air knocked out of her as she sailed across the room, trapped by Pinkie’s embrace. Freeing herself, dusting herself off, and rising, she turned towards Pinkie and demanded, “What in the hay was that? Do you feel the need to regularly tackle us? Because if you do, I know a few hoofball players who need some endurance training, myself NOT included.”
Smiling at Twilight, Pinkie couldn’t keep herself from giggling as she responded. “While you were busy thinking about chocolate milk, my tail started twitching. I saw the tower of books begin to fall and, with you lost in your daydreams, I threw you out of the way. Next time, you really should organize your books better.” With another smile, Pinkie bounced over to the kitchen to get Twilight some chocolate milk.
Staring after her, Twilight vaguely wondered if Pinkie would materialize some chocolate milk for her, then realized that it probably wasn’t Pinkie she needed to be concerned about. In the process of returning to the Chaos spirit, she stumbled over the scroll that Pinkie had been reading before she exploded. Picking it up with her magic, she scanned the page, and noticed the lone fragment with no visible beginning or end, the one and only God of Chaos. Confused, she rolled up into a neat spiral before continuing her path back to Discord.
Returning at the same time as Pinkie, Twilight, with a long, drawn-out sigh, accepted the glass of chocolate milk Pinkie held. Taking a sip, she turned towards the lounging draconequus and asked, “You’re here on Pinkie’s family tree. How and why?”
“Hmm?” With a *SNAP*, Discord materialized next to Twilight and stole the scroll from her hooves. Unrolling it and looking through it with blinding speed, Discord suddenly looked intrigued. “Really? I knew she was the Element of Laughter, but she managed to inherit some Chaos magic too? I knew there was something special about her, from the very first episode.”
Thrown off by the sudden non-sequitur, Twilight looked at Discord, with a confused “Huh?” slipping out without her explicit permission.
“Oh, nothing, nothing, my dear Twilight. But what IS important is that Pinkie is a descendant of one of the few great ponies that has earned the prize of a bit of Chaos magic imbued in their family. Pinkie Pie, if I’m not mistaken, which I never am, is a descendant of “Chocolate Pie” the inventor of the wondrous “chocolate milk”. She, and her invention, earned the Chaos magic that adds a bit of excitement to their lives. Aren’t I such a kind and giving deity?”
Glaring at Discord’s arrogant grin, Twilight retorted, “Okay, so this was just a message visit? Congratu-pony-lations, message received. Can you please leave before you cause any more widespread destruction of Ponyville? It gets annoying cleaning it up after a while.”
“Tired of widespread chaos then? Darn. Okay, but let me give Pinkie the second part of that gift. I hereby appoint Pinkamena Diane Pie to be the newly appointed Goddess of Physics, and the newest Princess of Equestria!” *Applause*
With a bow and a *SNAP*, a glowing pink light encompassed Pinkie, whose eyes were wide with anticipation. Twilight, realizing what was happening, and the chaos that would be caused by Pinkie being both a Princess and the RULER OF PHYSICS IN THE UNIVERSE! Lunging towards Discord, who was grinning evilly, waiting for the perpetual chaos that he had caused, she charged up a magical blast and hoped that she wouldn’t be too late. With a flash that she recognized all too well, she knew that she was.
“Nooooooooooooo!!!” was her last word before the transformation ended and the world flashed away.
~~~
Twilight awoke just after Princess Pinkie Pie, Ruler of Equestria and Goddess of Physics, who has already begun experimenting with her newly obtained wings and horns. Looking around the destroyed library, which had experienced a natural disaster, known as Pinkie Pie, in the previous three seconds, she shuddered as she imagined what would happen when she tried to experiment with her new god-powers. Then she felt a slight shift and began falling to the ceiling, and she knew, deep inside, that Discord had finally won.
Author's Note
This probably isn't as good as my first one. No, not just because it doesn't feature Coco Pommel. My editors bailed on me, and I originally wasn't gonna do this one anyways, but the Discord idea came to me, and I ran with it. Maybe I'll make a blog posts about my writing troubles later. My stories never come out like I plan them. They are alive, I swear.
