I wish I could.

by chainsawpony

Rating: teen
Tags: Fluttershy, Tragedy, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, Sad, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Spike, Rainbow Dash
Length: 2673

A story of a pony who had a dream of being a pegasus.

This is a story about the earth pony called Blue Hoof. Since she was a filly, she had studied the skies and have always wanted to fly. After watching pegasi for years, she decides to take action. But how far does Blue Hoof go? Does her mind get it right or not?

Published 2012-03-18 05:44:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-18 05:44:02 UTC

Chapter 1

This is a story about a earth pony called Blue Hoof. She was just a normal sky blue pony, but one thing was bothering her all the time. She wanted to fly. Ever since young age, she had studied the powers of the pegagus, and she wanted to experience how it is to actually fly. Blue's earth pony friends were not the friends you wanted to have - they ignored her. They talked behind her back, Blue Hoof knew all that. Fluttershy was a good friend of her though. Everyday, Blue used to look up in the sky and watch all the pegasi. The biggest dream of hers, was to be able to fly with real wings, and just leave the ground - forever.

This was just another normal day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing. Blue Hoof was walking in the Pony Ville village. Depressed as always. Though she hated walking in crowds, she had to. So that she could reach her spot. The market of Ponyville was nearly full today, and you could barely walk there.
"If only I had wings, I wouldn't have to walk in all these huge crowds. I should be able to just lift my hooves from the ground, and just fly instead." She thought. She walked slowly.
After a quarter, she had reached the moorlands. Nopony was there. Blue Hoof sighed. She didn't like to be surrounded by so many ponies. She wanted to have piece and quiet. She walked to that same old spot, a couple of metres from that huge tree. She splashed down on the ground, and sighed once again. She looked up on the pure blue sky. No clouds, nor pegasus were there. It was like Blue looked the sky itself in the eye. She hesitated, but then she lifted her hoof to the sky. Like she belonged there, instead of being on the ground.
On her way home, Fluttershy went by.

"Hello Blue Hoof. What are you up to today?" She happily greeted.
"Just nothing." Blue answered after a long pause.
"Really? I think I saw you laying next to that huge tree again."
"Yeah, well, you know what my dream is."
"Yes. You want wings." Fluttershy answered with a serious tone.
"I walk to that spot everyday to study the sky." Blue Hoof said with a lowered voice.
"Everyday?..."
"Yes."
"Well, I don't know what to do about it. Perhaps you are meant to be here. A earth pony."
"Why then, are my cutie mark clouds?" Blue was irritated now.
"Be-because..." Fluttershy started.
"Don't tell me! I think I know myself. Okay? Just don't care about my dreams if you just are going to comment about it and make me feel sick!" Blue Hoof yelled.
"Oh no. I didn't mean to make you upset Blue Hoof.." Fluttershy said all sad.
"Oh really?" Blue said and ran away. Almost crying.
Later that night, Blue looked out of the window. Looking at the night sky.
"Oh dear sweet Celestia...." She began.
"Why can't I a-" Blue stopped. Thinking. Hadn't she done this for a very long time now? Pleasing other ponies to help her with her dream, pleasing Princess Celestia and herself? It was time for action. Blue sat up quickly.
"NO! Nothing has happened. It never will if I just beg. If I take action myself, something will happend!" She said angry, but she was proud.
"Twilight Sparkle will have some advice for me, I'm sure of that." She said. Now Blue Hoof actually had a light in her life. Maybe she would fly the next day, or the days that was coming. But the thing that was very different now - Blue Hoof fell asleep with hope and a smile on her face.

The morning had arrived in Ponyville. Many ponies had woken up. One of them was Blue Hoof. She stretched and yawned. But she didn't eat breakfast, instead, she ran to Twilight Sparkles house for advice of getting to fly.
She knocked on Twilight's door. The door opened, and there was a purple unicorn. It was Twilight.
"Hi. I'm Blue Hoof, a friend of Fluttershy, I don't know if you have heard of me, but that's my name." Blue Hoof was so motivated this day, it felt like she could do anything.
"Oh hey there. I think I have heard of you before.. Nice to meet you anyway Blue Hoof." Twilight greeted nicely.
"What are you up to in such a rush anyway?"
"Oh erhm.. you see, my biggest dream since I was a little filly was and is to fly. To get own my own pegasus wings, and be able to leave the ground." Blue was sure that Twilight had a spell or some advice that would work. So she was so happy this day.
"Pegasus wings? That's intresting. Please come in!" Blue Hoof walked into the purple unicorns house. It was alot of books in there. Twilight used her horn to search for a book.
"I can take a look of what I have, I mean, it doesn't bother to try, right?" Twilight said happily.
"Of course not." Blue answered happy. Twilight found a book, and on it's front side the book said "Pegasus Facts and related stuff."
"How about this one? I haven't read so much in it, but it's all about pegasi and stuff related to it!" Twilight explained.
"Good. Do you find anything?" Blue asked with all of her exitingment. Twilight searched in the book.
"Well, a spell I know and I already have done, is to create fake wings out of vax. So they will melt if they're too long in the sun, though, they're very useable and good. Rarity tried them as you can remember." Twilight explained even more.
"I couldn't... because I was on the ground.." Blue Hoof said to Twilight like if she were an idiot.
"OH! I'm so sorry! Forget about that, let's search after a wing spell of course." She said nervously and started to search. Spike was still sleeping.
"Fake wings... fake wings... metal wings... speed spell... uhm.. leaf wings.." Twilight said as she was reading the titles of the spells.
"Furry wings. The furry pegasus wings are actually feather like wings, out of plastic feathers. You must be able to control balance and courage while flying with these. They aren't exactly like real pegasus wings, but they're the most equal ones." Twilight read. Blue looked on the purple unicorn. She was thinking.
"Are they okay? It would be fun to try!" Twilight said.
"Yeah sure, why not.. Hehe.." Blue Hoof hesitated. But then she was sure. They walked outside.
"Okay. Let's try this!" Twilight said nicely. Blue Hoof walked and stood in front of Twilight. Twilight started to create the spell, her horn was sparkling. And Blue was lifting the ground 'cause of all the dust and magic that came around her. Then, two fluffy normal sized wings grew out of her back. She landed on the ground once the spell was finished.
"Oh my gosh..." Twilight Sparkle began.
"Did it work?" Blue Hoof said.
"Oh yes it did! Just take a look Blue!" Twilight had now a big smile on her face. Blue Hoof looked on her back, and as Twilight said. There were two fluffy wings on her back. They had some feather here and there, but they looked normal as well. Blue Hoof began to smile. Then she used all the knowledge of pegasi, and flying she had learned through the years.
It worked.
Her hooves lifted the ground.
Blue Hoof was actually flying, for real.
"I CAN FLY!" She shoutet out. She carefully used her new wings and flied around a while.
"I'm so happy that I could help you Blue Hoof!" Twilight said and closed the spell book of pegasi. Blue Hoof landed on the ground next to her.
"I can never thank you enough for this Twilight Sparkle! You made my dream come true! Did you know that?" She said.
"Oh it was nothing! See you later." Twilight said.
"Yep!" Blue Hoof flied away. She flied through the air like a pegasus. She had a wonderful feeling inside of her. Everything was suddenly wonderful in her life. She flied in the sky, kind of fast, and felt the wind in her face. Rainbow Dash was also up there. Just chilling out on a cloud, until the wind went by her. Rainbow Dash sat up.
"Who in the world?" She began. Then she flied after. At first, Dash didn't notice who the pony was. But then she did. She couldn't understand. Could actually a earth pony become a pegasus?
"Dude! This have totally blown my mind away!" She said to herself and flied down to the market.
"Hey! Everypony! Blue Hoof has WINGS!" She shouted to all the ponies.
"What?" One pony said.
"What? That's awesome!" Another one said. Then everyone started talking. Blue Hoof flied to the mountains. Some pegasi followed her. Everything was like Blue Hoof wanted it to be. No more earth ponies. No more watching all the pegasuses. No more earth pony life.
But the evening came fast. Blue flied to her house and landed on the way up to her door. Then she sighed. A happy sigh it was. Then she smiled and walked in. The bed was there, waiting for her so that she could have fun the following day. She yawned, and jumped into the soft bed. Her new wings needed a rest from flying all day. Blue Hoof falled happily asleep.
The following day, was a rainy day. It rained and rained.

"Good!" Blue Hoof said and looked out from the window.
"I have never experience flying in rain." She said. She shook herself, her coat was all fluffy. The wings were still there, and they worked. So she walked outside. Her fur now got all wet. After flying a while in the rain, not so far away from the ground, everything got heavier.
"But.. what's going on now?" Blue Hoof thought. The wings got a grayish colour. Then they turned into viscous clay.
"Wait! HOLD ON!" She screamed and falled to the wet grass. The fluffy wings she once had, now was mud on her hooves. She sat down and lifted the muddy hooves near her face. That happy feeling, and wonderful experience she had yesterday, was like a dream. Maybe it was? It couldn't. It felt so alive. The rain had covered her hair and coat. She was now the normal Blue Hoof again. All gloomy. She walked to Twilight Sparkle's house, in a slow tempo. She knocked on the door. Quickly, Twilight Sparkle opened the door.
"Oh! Blue Hoof! Hello. What could I do for you today?" She said very greedily. Blue Hoof had a bored face.
"....What? What have happened?" Twilight said after a while.
"My wings. They are gone." Blue answered with an angry tone. Her eyes got wet. Twilight's happy smile had now turned into a sad face.
"Oh really.. I wonder why.." She then said, with a bad conscience. But then she picked out the book of pegasi and stuff once again and turned to the spell page she had used earlier.
"It says, if it come in contact with water, the wings will turn into mud. All because of that the atoms and cells in the wings can't handle H2O." Twilight readed. Blue Hoof didn't answer.
"...But, I'm still glad for what you did for me yesterday. Is there some another spells?" She asked.
"Sure. Spike!" Twilight called.
"Yup!" Said the purple baby dragon and came in a rush.
"I want you to search for all the spells, that are related to pegasus wings, that are the most equal ones to real pegasus wings and flying." She said.
"Alright. I know some, but there aren't any spells about REAL pegasus wings. But there are alot of prototypes though. Spike answered.
"Hmm.. would you like to try them, Blue?" Twilight asked.
"Sure.." Blue said, half motivated about the idea.
"Okay! The first prototype of wings, is these!" Twilight said and showed a picture of huge butterfly wings in the spell book. They weren't like Blue wanted them to be, but she wanted to have wings so badly, that it didn't matter anymore when she thought of it.
"But, then I can't fly in the sun. That's like one of the things I'm gonna do the most." Blue said.
"Oh that's right I guess... What about these?" Twilight said once again and held up the book. It was a picture showing wings made out of metal.
"They might be heavy, but trying doesn't hurt does it?" Twilight said.
"Sure, let's try them." Blue Hoof said. She thought they were pretty. The spell beginned. But when she was going to fly, it didn't work out at all. They were too heavy, and they also noticed that they would rust after a while.
After hours, that went by hours, they had tried all sorts of wings. Special created dragon wings, leaf like wings, insect wings, huge dragonfly wings, and other types of butterfly wings. They failed, all of them. Blue Hoof was tired. Twilight as well, of using so much magic.
"I think I have to go home.." Blue Hoof said. Then she walked home without saying good-bye. The following week, Twilight Sparkle and Blue Hoof got to know eachother as great friends.

The last day had arrived.

Blue Hoof was talking to Fluttershy about the wings spells.
"But you know what Blue Hoof. All wings can't be perfect. We pegasi also get pain from flying so much with our wings. It's like you get tired in your legs by running for long, get it?" Fluttershy explained.
"Yes, I do. Thanks anyway Fluttershy." Blue Hoof replayed. Then she walked home. The sky was gray of clouds, but not a single rain drop was coming down. Blue Hoof walked to her house. She walked into the kitchen. The dream about flying had taken over her life. She had taken action, but it didn't work. Her mind was playing with her. She opened a case with sharp knives. She took one in her mouth and walked to Fluttershy's house.

"This isn't insanity... it is... her... calling me.." Blue Hoof's mind kept on telling her. She knocked on Fluttershy's door. It took a while, but Fluttershy opened the door with a smile, but her face was fading over to a scared face when she saw the knife. Then, Blue Hoof throwed the knife in Fluttershy's face. She fell to the floor. Instant kill. The blood was rinning down the cleaned tree plank floor. That soon was all covered with blood. Blue walked slowly past Fluttershy, and took up the huge knife in her mouth again. She stapped the yellow pony all over the body many times. It looked horrible. Then she turned the yellow, now red, pony around so that the wings faced the floor. She stabbed the wings off Fluttershy's body, throwed the knife on the yellow pony, so that it got stuck on Fluttershy's flank. Blue Hoof walked home. Blood was dripping on the ground from the wings she carried in her mouth. When she got home, she walked down in her basement.

She grabbed two ropes.

One she got stuck in the ceiling, and with the other, she used to tie the wings on her own body.

Then she did it.

She took suicide.

Her insanity made her madness even worser than ever.

A while after that, Twilight Sparkle was worried about what happened to Blue Hoof. So she decided to visit the pony. She saw the blood on Blue Hoof's door step.
"What is this?!" She said scared. Then she followed the blood drops down the basement. She saw it.

The sky blue pony, was red.

She had yellow wings tied up on her back. But still. She smiled. She smiled for the death of a pony that always made her jealous.