Pony Inverted

by Emraldilian

Rating: everyone
Tags: Human, Comedy
Length: 979

A story about a pink pony who went and came out a hole in my yard.

Now I reckon that this sorta thing ain't believable to nobody, and though I could swear by my life that it 'appened I'm not gonna go tellin' ya'll ta believe me. It's an interstin' li'l tale 'bout a pink pony flyin' up out of a strange hole in my yard.

Still 'ere? On with it then.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-15 11:10:02 UTC

Inverted Pony

As it happens, I've a neat li'l hole in my backyard, it never fills up. Been dumping garbage down it, I tend to produce more than I should and I ain't payin' no extra fees on my utility bill, 'specially with this here mighty boon.

Now I ain't boastin', only saves me 'bout a dozen bucks a month or so. This here hole has been somethin' special, powerful terrifyin' too. You toss somethin' down it an' it's gone, for good, ain't no diggin' it back up or nothin'. Heck, it's sat in my backyard since the day I moved in. Dropped somethin' mighty important down there an' nearly got about sixty feet down with a length of rope tied to my porch, still couldn't see the bottom even with a flashlight and climbed right back up. Sorta glad I went against my first instinct to jump right in after me ol' lucky coin, I'd be a goner for sure. I happened to be deciding whether or not to go down there anyways with a flip of it.

Bless that coin though, showed me a wonder of the world, whatever or whoever dug that must've been a right glorious specimen, or tool fer that matter. Hole goes straight down, doesn't get no wider or thinner, and far as I know it might just reach the other end of the earth.

Anywho, I'd made it my mission since that day to fill it up and don' ask me why... maybe it was something like an itch for revenge on my coin, or just plain ol' curiosity, yet now it's simply to finish what I started. Been a right few years, trash, rocks, water, dirt, almost treat it like a battle on boring days.

Another can goin' down!

"Hup!" I grunt as I tilt my aluminum can over the hole in my yard and a heap of trash bags tumble down. Tossin' the can to the side I tilt my head sideways over the hole so my ear faces it and wait a good ten seconds or so, "Still nothin'," I sigh in defeat. Ain't like I expected any different, but I'm always hopin' to hear a sweet sound of comin' victory.

Then it 'appened, just as my head comes up and before I can turn back to my house a squeal of joy enters my ears and a blur of pink passes my vision. Suddenly I'm bein' choked, my hands rocket to pull off what has me at the neck, but it's no use. The mass of hair clings to me relentlessly and even pulls me upward though my feet don't leave the ground, I could swear some freako pervert type has me what with the "wee" sound she made prior, but a cry of panic offsets that as I look up and see a sight I couldn't explain ta nobody.

The pink pony above me is clingin' for her life with her tail lest she fall into the sky, like the rules of gravity were the opposite for her. Though this was nothin' like I've seen before I hadn't much time to really revel in it, 'cause I was losin' air. I try and choke out what I can to get it off o' me and though I don' really accomplish that much she looks down and gets the message anyhow. Her tail shifts from my neck to my arm an' I take the time to catch my breath.

"Woah, nice catch ceiling monkey."

Even though she's the one who grabbed onto... "Did you just talk?" No equine of any nature should be able to do that, I mean I've seen them internet videos of dogs and such sayin' a word or two but this is ridiculous.

"Well yeah, so did you!" She giggles, "Enough about that though, I should go tell my friends that wasn't the hole we were looking for."

"Now hold it, how are you falling, er, up?" I ask with a finger towards the sky.

"That's down, silly ceiling monkey."

"I ain't no ceiling monkey, I'm a -" I try to protest before a flash hits my eyes 'longside the sound of camera shutters.

"Twilight will sure be surprised when I tell her I discovered a whole new species down here!" She beams, showing me an upside-down picture of me with the caption: 'Ceiling Monkey' written in marker. "Wah!" She yelps and I look up to see a camera ascending into the sky.

"How the..." Now if what had already transpired didn't have me baffled enough even the things she was carrying were goin' up into the beyond.

"Heh, well I've got the picture, but I should probably be going, bit dangerous here for non-ceiling ponies like myself, bye now!" She quickly climbs down my person and towards the hole but stops, "Wait a second." She grabs a small rock with her hoof and tosses it down the hole, "Hole-ly floaty, you're the anti-gravity pony!"

"Now stop callin' me things I ain't an' get along, this is a whole mess of weird I'm not prepared ta handle, ya hear?"

"Loud and clear!" She salutes, "Just one thing though, could you stop throwing things up this hole? Ponies have been getting concerned about flying trash monsters."

"You live in that hole? With a buncha other... nevermind, you said you had to go so just go." I sorta regretted those words as she responds in the affirmative and goes on her way.

As the last bit of pink fades I could swear that the whole event was real, and I guess it was a good thing. Now if I hear anybody's "unbelievable" stories about survival, meetin' celeberties, or any of that nonsense, I'll look back to what any sane man would tell me was just a vivid hallucination and have myself a good inward chuckle.