The Swiss-German Lance

by Halder

Rating: mature
Tags: Human, Romance, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 9203

A 15 year old boy called Lance get's stuck in Equestria, trying to break out of it and hoping it's just a bad dream.

The 15 year old Lance of Switzerland that lives in Zurich, Stadt Zurich get's thrown into Equestria rather painfully.
Trying to think it's all a dream just with pain and nothing else, he tries to break out, just hoping it will get over soon.
Rated Mature for the future that will happen, more tags will come as well in the future. It's my first story so any comment regarding about fixing is appreciated. New tags may come up in the future.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-25 16:27:32 UTC

Chapter 1 : "Prologue" of some sorts

Chapter 1

Let's get right in, my name is Lance, fifteen years old and living in Switzerland, more in the flatlands like Zurich, to be precise I'm living inside the city of Zurich, in a little apartment, alone.

My parents are off shopping for God knows how long, so I decided just to stay in my bed and sleep.

It was the 18th March 2016, I'm asleep and dreaming about skydiving, I just didn’'t feel the air hitting me and no adrenaline rush.

After some time I activated the parachute I felt that it didn't open, I tried again to open the parachute with all I got and when it did open, it was empty, I started panicking and tried to end the dream as fast as possible but I couldn't, I was deep asleep, I turned around and saw how the ground got closer and closer.

I felt the hit, it hurted like hell, but I wasn't dead, how you might ask, I don't know. I was unconscious, I couldn't move, everything hurts. This is one fucked up dream I got, unconscious and felt the hit but still not dead? How? I started regaining consciousness.

I tried to lift my right hand or atleast my fingers, I felt that I missed all my fingers, I started panicking and opened my eyes, but unexpected I had to close them since everything was so bright and colourful, everything continued to hurt, I lifted my right hand to cover my eyes, I opened my eyes and saw that my right hand was now a Hoof with white fur.

Holy shit! Where's the doctor?! I need him now! I tried to stand up but fell instantly over, closing my eyes as well because of the bright colour.

"Alright what is go- Wait what happened to my voice?" I asked to nobody if you don't count air. The voice is so deep, I tried to block all the questions, but it was heavy since they were all about my new body.

I opened my eyes and my reflex tried to shut them, but I was able to keep them open, looking at the bright colour, I looked at the grass and saw how everything looked so cartoonish, flowers nearly everywhere, and the clouds looked cartoonish as well, like they were made of cotton.

After I got used to the colour, I looked down at my body, I freaked out when I saw what I became. "I-I'm a pony with white fur? What?" I said with me having surely the dumbest 'What The Fuck' face but it was everything worth since I was a pony now!

I looked at my my back and saw that I had wings, I gave it a glance. Pony with wings, argh, how are they called? Pagas? Pegais? Peganis? Pegasus? Pegasus! They're called pegasus, sheesh I need to remember stuff I thought, mentally slapping myself for forgetting something like that.

I stood up and stood on all four hooves, wobbling a bit, This should take a while to get used I thought, starting to take a step forward, not falling over, taking another step and falling over. Arg, this will get routine if it will continue like this I thought, standing up again, wobbling like always, taking some steps forward, not falling over surprisingly, I stood beside a lake.

I gave a glance how I looked like, I didn't really expect what I saw, Big Anime eyes, Slime green with Blue coloured mane. I looked what colour my eyes have, it wasn't heavy to see since they're so big, blue, blue like the colour of my mane. The mane looked rather funny, going to every direction like something exploded right in front of me. I gave a look at my tail, it was not long, not short, right in the middle and looked rather wild.

As I started trotting beside the lake I fell over, that time inside the lake, getting carried to somewhere I didn't want to go, into a village.

Chapter 2 : I didn't expect this

Chapter 2

Heading towards a village. As a pony I thought.

I started expecting the worst that can happen. What if they'll use me to experiment? What if they'll cut everything open, or eve- I mentally slap myself, trying to get myself under control, not letting panic overflow me.

I tried to hold myself onto something. "Oh yeah, hooves." I said to nobody.

I then started looking looking again towards the village, looking at the buildings that came up. I looked at them, "What the? That's interesting. What kind of houses are those?"

I then was quickly dragged out of the river somehow. I felt how just everything stopped for me and I levitated off the river and on the grassy field.

I looked around, seeing nobody that was near me, only another...pony. A light aquamarine pony with uhh...I'll say yellow-orange eyes since I don't know any other colour that matches her eyes and a horn on her head.

"Hey, are you alright? I saw you inside the river, trying to grab something but failing." The girl said.

I just brain farted, staggering something to say "I. Eh...Uh..." she just looked at me, trying to understand what I'm trying to say. "Where the hell am I!?" I yelled.

She jumped back of my sudden burst, saying "No need to yell, and you're near at the edge of Ponyville." What. "Alright...What country is this?" I asked, she just said with a small smile "Equestria, silly, did you travel in this river from like Germaney? You got a rather strong accent like one of them" ...Bitch please, I sound mighty fine for me. "Uhhh...no? I got here from another Planet called "Earth", where I was a human, now I'm a pony, care to explain what the hell is going on?"

She just looked at me, eyeing me, every detail. That started creeping me out, very much in fact.

"Y-You were a Human?" That made me think. Do they even have humans? Nah, but there are  TALKING PONIES FOR FUCK SAKES. She jumped at me, tackling me on the ground, yelling at me "Tell me every! Single! Detail!"

Girl calm the fuck down! I was now really scared. Was she going to rape me now? Do they hate humans? Oh my god, what if they eat humans?! "Don't eat me! For the love of god please don't eat me!" I begged, nearly about to cry.

She just looked at me, then grimacing, trying not to laugh because of that dumb comment I said, failing and bursting out laughing, falling right besides me, laughing like mad.

I stood up, wobbling, running off to a forest of some sorts, it looked rather dark. Okay I be honest, very dark.

I noticed ten seconds later, I was running on air, that girl was holding me with...magic? Impossible! How can that bitch do magic?! Is it because of that horn? I thought she got that because there is a own race that are kinky and try to fuck you.

Oh I forgot to tell, how do I know it's a girl? That voice!

I prepared for the worst she will do, I stopped running, just floating, above the ground, and then I dropped on the ground, a quiet *Thump* able to hear from the landing

She then stood up, wiping a tear of laugh away, walking up to me "That was a good one, but seriously -haha- how was it being a human?"

"I don't want to talk about it," I said with a frown "you're making me uncomfortable." She sighed when I finished at that, letting me actually stand up for once! "Fine, but I will find you later, and you will answer me the questions."

I stood up, nodding "Thank you." and ran off, towards the village now, stopping in dead tracks and falling on the nose, then sitting on my ass, not even trying to question how I did that.

I then started thinking out loud "Would it be such a great idea?"

"Of course it would be a great idea." the girl said behind me.

I looked back, and asked "What's your name even?" She just looked at me, answering then with a smile "Lyra, and your name?" Come to think of it...I don't even remember correctly, there is just too much stuff going on... I tried to remember, slapped myself just to try remembering it Argh! "I don't remember, but just call me "Skyfall", because I fell from the sky and got here."

She nodded, trying to keep herself under control for some reason.

I looked back to the village, and started walking towards it.

"Tell me, what do I have to do as a pony?" She just looked at me, giving a rather strange look at me, answering "Uhh...just like a human?" "So just get weapons weapons, kill people, playing on a console, drinking much alcohol?" She then looked at me in horror. "Just kidding! But I just have to be normal and friendly?" She looked then relaxed a bit, but had a frown on her face, just answering with a simple and short “Yes.”

She then asked some seconds later "What’s a console, Skyfall? Is it like some sort of game?"

I meanwhile was so deep in my thoughts of what could happen, if there is a reverse or if I will be stuck here forever, well, until she smacked me, I won't tell where, but it hurts. I yelled and sweared, she just looked at me in horror, saying sorry over and over, saying she wanted to kick my back hoof. Yeah right... anyways, some time later of yelling and swearing, I stood up again, and started trotting towards the village that is called Ponyville, seriously, what is this? Am I maybe in coma and this is like Dream version 2.0?

Whatever, I arrived at Ponyville, and looked around, I thought this may be a brand new start for me, but I still want to get out of this place as fast as possible.

I turned around to Lyra and asked where the library is, she just pointed a hoof at a direction and said "Walk down there and you see a big tree, you can't miss it."

"Wait, wait, wait. so the library, is in a tree?", I asked, rather dumbly, she just nodded.

"Well, alright then, thanks for the help I guess.", I said to her, Lyra just said "Have fun, Skyfall." She then went of right to the opposite direction, and I went towards the library.

She didn't lie, I'm like 200 meters away, and it's already big. I continued walking towards it, and I saw some kind of massive gingerbread house, that made me really question.

Are you able to eat it, because I think I’m getting hungry.

Then I saw some ponies leaving the place, to be honest, I'm already used to ponies here, but still a bit strange, and when I saw them leaving, I knew instantly, it's made of metal and wood, so I better don't try it.

I continue walking towards the library.

Chapter 3 : Books, Books, Librarian, Questions.

Chapter 3

        After me walking for quite a time towards the treehouse and meeting other humorous houses, I saw that the treehouse really was gigantic like I said last time.

        I came up to the door and knocked. It’s a fucking library! Why am I even knocking? I looked down and saw I had a hoof, and there was a knob. Oh yeah, that’s why. After waiting some time, I thought nobody would be inside. So I turned around and tried to go, but I heard then a door open. I turned around and saw a lavender pony a rather darkish purple mane with darker violet and pink stripe, and with a horn.

        “I never saw you here, are you new here?” She asked me.

I just answered with a simple “Yes, are you the librarian here?”

She looked at me and beamed, answering with a smile “Yes.”

“Can you help me with a book? I need a book about humans.”

That got her off guard, she just looked at me, mumbling with a frown “Oh god not another one.” Then resuming with a smile, saying louder “We do have some books about humans, why do you ask?”

That made me rather happy, and from the looks of it she actually saw me smiling, I then said “Perfect, I need a book of it because I need to get back home.”

        She looked at me like I’m drunk, sighing, and then making place, letting me in. I got in, and looked around, the inside was massive, so many books.

        She then cleared her throat, which got me her attention, she then said “Anthropology books are in the ‘races’ section.”

        I nodded and walked started searching for the section, after searching for it I found some books, I took it and started reading them, looking what they know and if there were humans here.

        I opened one of the books and started reading it, finding some stuff that is true, some that isn’t true. I closed the book later and putten it back to place, good thing it was rather low placed and not high up.

        I’ve stood up and walked of to the librarian asking her if those books are up to date.

        “Of course they are,” she said “I always keep the books up to date, why do you ask?”

        “Because it’s like hundred years old?” I answered with a questionmark face, she just looked at me like I’m lying.

        “You’re very bad at lying, sir. Why do you even interest to read those books?” asked the librarian. Because I’m a human and you never take me seriously, that’s why, Smartass.

        “I’m from a different universe where I was human and are much more experienced and researched more then here.” Except magic.

        She looked me like I’m now about to pass out or if I’m now drunk and high, saying “Can I ask your name and do you mind if I ask you some questions? Just to prove if you’re really a human.”

        “Uhh...alright?” I was now not so sure what she will ask me. “Skyfall. Now the question’s, are they personal?”

        “Some of them, yes, but you can skip them if you feel uncomfortable.” She answered, which made me smile because I will skip hell of a lot, if I’m able to do that.

        She then took out a scroll and quill and cleared her throat, then coming out with the dumbest question ever “Are you a virgin?” …Seriously?

“Skip, definitive skip” I asked, nearly yelling at the end, but she shook her head.

“I need to know this, are you a virgin?” She asked, looking at me, I then put my head down, saying quietly “Yes” I fucking hate you.

She made a tick, looking at the scroll, then asking giving a rather more reasonable question “What is our race called?” Come to think about it. I don’t even know!

“Sexual Pleaser?” I asked, wearing a face that shows ‘I don’t know’

She just looked at me, not even giving out a reaction, just saying “Unicorn, how can’t you know that?” She asked with a surprised face. I told you that I’m a human of another planet or even universe, you bitch!

“Human, told ya” I told her simply, giving her a smile, not even caring if she disagrees, she didn’t disagree surprisingly, just making a tick, continuing.

She looked like she didn’t even understand the third question she wrote, then blushing madly, saying only “Let’s skip question number three and skip to four, okay?”

I didn’t understand her at all, but I still nodded, waiting for her to ask the question, readying my brain for the question as well.

“How did you come here, where did you live and what did you do before you came here?” Aren’t those like three questions now? Meh, whatever. I shrugged the best I could as a pony and said “I came here by a dream, I lived in Switzerland, near Germany and I was lying in the bed.”

She made a tick, and then wrote something, then questioning “How far are you with technology and researching?”

That made me actually think, I always used but never thought about it, I came up with the most dumbest or funniest idea, I don’t care, at least it’s an answer.

“Like thirty times?” I said, making a derp face, not even knowing if that’s true or not.

Her mouth dropped open, so open I thought it’s not even physically possible, thinking now I broke her, I touched her.

        “WHAT?!” she yelled at me, scaring the living shit out of me, making me jump back like one foot.

Jeez control yourself! Don’t freak out in a massive burst! Wait, I’ve done that as well…”

        I looked at her, scared what will happen next, the then took a deep breath, and did a tick, closing the scroll, and putting the quill back to where she took it.

        “Alright, we’ll take you to Princess Celestia, she might be able to help you about this…problem you got.” She said, that freezed me. Me, infront of a princess...HELL NO!

        “Don’t! Please! Don’t bring to a princess! I don’t want to die so early!” I yelled, nearly about to cry just because I didn’t get it right. She looked at me like I’m now fully dumb like bread, giggling, answering then with “Oh don’t worry, she won’t kill you or put you in prison, she will just interrogate you and try to bring you back home.”

        “No, I won’t go to her.” I said harsh, not wanting to see her at all.

        “Why not?” asked the librarian

        “I just don’t want to, I get just too nervous when I’m in front of somebody-”

        “Somepony.” She corrected me, though I didn’t pay attention, continueing to ramble on, until she smacked me, having enough of me trying to avoid meeting the princess.

        “You will go Princess Celestia, end of discussion.” she said angrily, glaring at me.

I rubbed the spot where she’d hit me, it really hurted to be honest, I sighed and then nodded, and then realized, I don’t even know her name! I opened my mouth but she glared at me, I instantly closed it again.

“Okay, we could bring you to Princess Luna if you don’t want Princess Celestia.” she answered, hoping it would raise any chances.

“What’s the difference about them anyway?” I asked, Now hope she won’t say like ‘They control sun and moon.’

“They control the sun and the moon.” The librarian said, giving me a face hoping she didn’t break me, she sadly did, and shortly after, it was dark. Congratulations me! I was so broken I fell into unconsciousness!

Chapter 4 : Worst Escape

Chapter 4

I wake up god knows when with three different feelings, the first and main one is pain, then the second is just being scared what will happen later and third one is...arousal?

Best combination ever. Anyways, wake up brain, we need to wake up my body.

My brain gave me the worst answer I could imagine ‘Starting Braindos Eight Point One.’

So when my brain woke up and I had the feeling nearly to cum- don’t ask my why or how- I instantly threw my hooves around, I felt I’ve hit something, but what.

I open my eyes and guess who I hit. The fucking librarian. I slowly stood up, looking around, trying to look  around and see if I’m in the future or still in the same shitty day. I would say the second option fitted the best. If I would have now sword and hands, I would cut you open and rip everything out, I’m not kidding, never touch my dick again.

“Why the fuck did you touch my dick?!” I yelled at her, she just blushed and rubbed the spot I’ve hit her, staggering to say something.

Fuck this I’m outta here.

I walked towards the door, trying to open it until I remember one thing. Hooves, I still got hooves. I sighed angrily, turning around, waiting for an answer of the librarian.

I still don’t know her fucking name! In the next question, question that. I thought, making a note to my brain.

She continued staggering, then coming out with a sentence as fast as a shooting Machine Gun, “I thought there would be something human inside you so I wanted to collect sperm and look if there still is!”

I just looked at her, thinking she had now fully lost it.

Fuck it, just ask the question.

“What your name? I asked her, going straight to the point.

“Twilight Sparkle” she answered quietly, but still loud enough for me to understand.

My first reaction was just to kill her, strangle her, or say ‘Sorry that you got such a shitty name.’ Who would come up with such a name?

“Is there a problem?” Twilight said, looking at my face that showed a ‘WHAT?!’

“N-no, not at all.” I stammered, not trying to break out laughing, but now having a grimace.

She just shrugged, dropping what’s so funny, then coming up with the question I didn’t want to hear, “Ready to meet the princesses, Skyfall?”

“Fine, but I will fuck up, I will tell you that.” I answered, not wanting to talk with a princess at all. Really, I would better go at night, since day would be kinda bring too much attention towards me, that’s when I asked “Do you mind if we go at night?”

“Alright, but we’ll still arrive at day.” Twilight answered, not quite what I wanted but should work.

She then yelled out, calling somebody named Spike. I never saw somebody else here… I thought, until I saw who she called.

A rather small green, purple dragon, walking over towards Twilight, eyeing me and then looking at Twilight, talking about something, I can’t hear.

He soon took a scroll and quill and wrote something, after that he nodded, closed the scroll, and burned it…

I just watched, thinking how Twilight would react, but she just continued talking with Spike I don’t get this world.

I watched as he burped out a scroll and opened it, reading it to Twilight. After he finished, she smiled, walking towards me.

“Alright, pack your things, we’re going to Canterlot!” She said with happiness.

“I’m ready.” I said with a groan after that, having a frown on my face.

“Perfect, let me get Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Rarity.” She said, breaking me for the second time.

Who? Wait. Friends?! Oh fuck! oh fuck oh fuck oh fuuuuck! I started panicking and from the look of Twilight, I did physically as well, but she didn’t question it, and walked out of the house, leaving me and Spike here.

“So…you’re a dragon?” I asked him.

He nodded and then asked “Who are you even?” eyeing me.

I just looked at him, then answering with one simple word, “Skyfall.”

“Skyfall?” Spike asked, looking me ‘Really?’ face

“Skyfall.” I answered, staring at him with a blank face.

“Alright, I’m Spike.” Spike said

“I heard Twilight call your name already, Spike.” I said, looking at him. No shit, Sherlock, are you still a kid? I mean seriously, there are possibilities to think like I didn’t hear it, or if I’m deaf, but if it’s kinda obvious if she tells you to write about another...pony… coming, you would kinda get the feeling that she already the pony about you. Might just my stupid brain with such dumb ideas but anyways, back to reality.

Spike was snipping his claws in front of me, when I looked at him, he jumped back a bit, not expecting such a reaction like giving him a cold glance. He just looked at me, until he said “You kinda zoned out there for a moment buddy.”

I just looked at him. “Alright...now what?” I asked Spike, he just shrugged, walking off to a row of books, saying calmly “Wait until she brings her friends,” he took a...oh my god...was that what I think it was? It was a comic book! He then continued “We could read some books, or comics.”

“Hell no I’m outta here.” I said after I ran to a window and jumped through it, coming out unharmed, though the window was wrecked. I looked around to see, I jumped out of the main area, and guess who I saw.

I saw Twilight Sparkle with five more ponies I never saw, two pegasus...es., one sexual pleaser, or unicorn as Twilight said and two normal ponies. Alright, starting with the pegasuses, there was one cyan pony with a rainbow mane and tail, was rather funny to watch. Then there was a buttery coloured one with a rather pink mane, looking rather scared, but wh- oh yeah, I just jumped through the window. Then to the unicorn, a white one, with a...stylish violet mane? Alright I guess. Lastly the normal two ponies, there was one bright pink coloured pony with a poofy mane that looked like cotton candy and then there was a orange pony with a blonde mane and a...hat? Never really saw one of those so I can’t describe what it is.

They watched at me standing up and running away, well, after Twilight yelled “After him!”

If I’ll be honest, my right back hoof hurts when stepping on it, but I didn’t care, I was running away fro-

The cyan pegasus was right in front of me, flying, what did I do? Play it cool and slide under her, her tail brushing against my face but I didn’t care.

I got back up after I started slowing down and started running as fast as the wind can. Hoping to get away from them. Until I got bound by...ropes? I don’t want to question where they got that from so fast. My back hooves were tied together, and I was on the ground, sighing.

They got in front of me and started talking with me, but I didn’t listen to them, I just thought of getting away from here as fast as possible. I didn’t care anymore what will happen, I just wanted to end my life, I lived good as human, but I didn’t want a fresh start, I feel bad. Really bad.

“-That’s when I met him,” Twilight said, pointing a hoof at me, they just looked at me, then back at Twilight.

“And what do you think he is one of those “Humans” anyway?” The cyan one said to Twilight.

She told them nearly everything about me and still don’t buy it? Fucking hell.

I didn’t hear the rest again because I zoned out again, thinking how to get away from here. That’s when I had the idea that I could roll out of here.

I did one roll to the right, and they stopped me.  Smooth move I guess.

They continued talking, the orange pony had her left front hoof hard on me, so I couldn’t move. That is really just perfect.

After some little while with them chatting and some of them always looking towards me, I noticed that the rope that binds my back hooves is kinda loose, that’s when I had the idea to try remove the rope by struggling and then run but there was one problem.

The hoof of the orange pony was still on me, not as heavy anymore, so I gave it a go.

I started struggling like mad, but no success, the rope was still on me.

Is that a sticky rope? Because it’s really on me, and it feels rather loose.

I started expecting the worst, since they stopped talking, and they all looked at me, I just had to gulp because of this, it really was scary, having six ponies and three of them are total maniacs.

I felt the hoof got removed and the rope untied my back hooves, that’s when I had the chance to run, but Twilight just picked me up with magic, just like Lyra did.

You bitch, removing my only chance.

“What do you have to say for your defense?” She said to me, narrowing her eyes at mine.

I gave her a cold stare, until I said something in german that resembles like ‘Fuck you, you pieces of shit trash, I won’t see the princesses, you are all asswipes.

They just looked at me, not knowing what I just said, until the orange pony said “What the heck did you just say?”

I looked her, answering with a simple “Other language.”

That gave them all a strange look towards me. Did they have only one language on the entire world? I mean, it could be possible, but still, why are they all looking at me like I just created a new language? I mean it’s German, one heck of an old language.

They just shrugged and walked off towards the library, with me in a magical grip of Twilight.

Can this day get any better, yes it can.

After all of us arrived in the library and getting some strange looks from other ponies, I just looked how I broke the window.

Surely it was awesome and looked like a boss doing this, but they were scared because I’m too awesom- no, keep myself under control, don’t get too idiotic.

I fell on the ground, and looked at Twilight, she glared at me like I just murdered someone, the others were looking at me with fear or hate, can’t tell exactly, but they didn’t want to speak with me, that’s for sure.

“What were you thinking?” Twilight asked me, where I just simply shrugged the best I could as a pony.

“Thinking what could happen if I met the princesses, got panicked, jumped out of the window and tried to escape. Truth be told, it’s the worst escape I’ve ever done.” I said with a blank face, looking up at Twilight.

“I hope you know you will work here until you paid your debts off” She said, looking at me with a smirk.

Well shit, I’m fucked.

I’ve putten my head down on the floor, feeling nothing at all, muffling out “When will I start working?”

“Tomorrow.” She said while her friends walked off to the other side of the room, starting to discuss about something, I hope it wasn’t me.

“Uhh...when will we then get to the princesses then?” I said, slapping myself mentally again after asking that.

“I have that sorted out.” She said, taking a empty scroll and quill and starting to write something on it, then walking to Spike who was still reading his comic book.

How the fuck didn’t he notice that? I mean that hit on glass was very loud!

Twilight gave him a scroll, he took it and burned it, and then some seconds later, he burped out another scroll.

He opened it and starting reading it to Twilight, and I was even able to hear it.

“My dearest Twilight, I understand what Skyfall has done, but he will still be in need of coming over to the castle, he must come somewhere in this week. Your mentor, Princess Celestia”

Now that was a shitty reply...

I sighed, rolling over ninety degrees, deciding just to take a nap and calm my nerves.

Chapter 5 : The feeling of stalkers

Chapter 5

So, I’m sleeping, and of course I’m dreaming, dreaming of some weird stuff.

I was in a unknown world, full with mysteries, I’m on the beach, and besides me, is a crashed airplane.

Just like fucking Lost, only this here is not a series.

I saw some passengers that are ponies, humans, aliens, monsters of games and other species that I don’t recognise for the start, one of all species survived.

Wait. Since this is a dream, I can think of something and it appears, let’s try it out.

I closed my eyes and thought of a AK-47 since it’s rather reliable and can still work even if it’s dirty.

I opened my eyes and saw how an AK-47 was in front of me, but I forgot to ask one thing, a magazine.

I closed my eyes again, grumbling, thinking of a box full with ammo in front of me.                     I opened my eyes, and saw an open box with ammo, but then after I tried to pick up, I forgot that I still had hooves. Motherfucker!

I just abandoned them saw they fall into dust after I was some meters away from it. I started thinking about flying, it hit me later when I looked down and saw I was 50 meters above the ground.

“Awesome! I can fly without even noticing!” I said.

I was to early happy because I later saw how the ground got closer and closer.

I started thinking quickly of me landing on a very soft bed, and then I felt a hard but fluffy hit.

I yawned, nearly falling asleep while I’m asleep and got off it, starting to walk to the edge of the beach, and when I got there, I wished I could just be a human and have thousands of hot chicks behind me trying to fuck me.

I laughed and hit myself, and noticed how I had hands, I gulped, looking slowly behind me, seeing thousands of chicks, jumping all towards me, pinning me down.

Oh hell no! I didn’t want those kinds of chicks! I want hot human girls! For fuck sakes!

I looked around and saw that all chicks were now naked hot girls.

Wow, seriously, that’s lame, nothing special like a transformation or something? No? Fine, boring shit.

I pushed the girl off me and started running towards the sea, and guess what I saw.

I quickly stopped and turned around, seeing as they walked eager towards me, I looked at them in disbelief, thinking that this is just dumb as shit.

Now it would be a very good time to have a Machine Gun of every kind!

I closed my eyes and thought of a machine gun with thousands of shots and no recoil, I opened my eyes and saw I carried a MG42.

Wow, Hitler’s buzzsaw, disgusting to have such a gun but it should do.

I started aiming at a big bunch of the girls and started shooting at them, blood splattering everywhere.

I laughed like a maniac, enjoying it so much.

Now all of them must be ponies! and saw how all around me were now ponies.

I shot three quarter down and ran out of ammo, and saw the other quarter of living ponies walking towards me.

Welp, I need help! SOS, SOS!

I tried to run off but one of the pounced on me, holding me tight.

“Oh c’mon! Don’t do this to me!” I said to her, she just shook her head, grinning at me.

“No, and trust me, you will enjoy it.” She said with a seductive tone, making me shiver.

She slowly got down, rubbing her clit right above my dick, good thing I had my pa- nope, they’re gone for some reason! She slowly got the head of my dick in her, moaning lightly.

This feels goo- It’s a pony, no it isn’t good!

She got down a bit more, taking half of my shaft in her, shuddering a bit, giving me a bit of the feeling.

“Enough!” I yelled, thinking of immense strength, after that hitting her in the throat, sending her some meters away.

I stood up, and thought of having some kind of futurist armour, closing my eyes, hoping heavily that I would get a badass looking one. I felt that I was slowly sinking into the ground because of the weight, opening my eyes and saw HUD.

I grinned behind my mask, looking and picked up my MG42, taking aim at the ponies, pulling the trigger, only getting click noises.

 “...So...how are you today?” I asked her terrified, she just grinned darkly, stepping closer towards me.

I dropped the gun and ran off, running much faster then I could or should. Surely because of the Armour...damn I like it.

I continued running like a madman, seeing a dark-blue pony with wings and horns, looking at me.

I landed on the ground, sliding under her, seeing some stuff I really didn’t want to see, standing up and continuing to run, speeding up more.

I ended up at the other side of the beach, I took a look around, seeing how everything looked like. Sand and stones, as far as the eye could see.

“I need protection, every kind of shit here.” I said, running off to the right, trying to find the end, but I didn’t.

I stopped later, looking around, seeing the ponies, and when they say me, I ran off. Fast.

They hunted me, kinda being as fast as me, surprising me a bit.

“I could kill them all by thinking they won’t be here anymore, or I could do it the way nearly every human likes it,” I said to the air I was hitting with my speed, getting slowly annoyed by those ponies, that’s when I stopped and jumped, crashing on the sand, lying on it. I saw some of the ponies past me with a long jump, making me laugh how dumb they just are. “Now, get away from here, or I’ll kill you all. Trust me, it will be painful,” I said, looking at them in anger and fear, and they saw mostly my fear, and started creeping up on me “Fine, have it your way.” I started thinking of a Futuristic Rifle with unlimited ammo and no recoil, I got a modified M16A3 with a ACOG 4x Scope with some buttons., looking at it. The gun itself had like five buttons, and I never saw them on a normal rifle, may just be me now fully retarded or it has something to do with the future. I inspected the looks of it, It had an awesome paintjob, it was White with Blue, Futuristic looking like my armour. I stood slowly up, looking at the ponies, giving a devil smile, taking my M16, looking that the ponies were coming from the left and right, and there was one in the middle, the dark-blue one, looking at me. I lifted the M16, making the grip comfortable for me, even though I’m feeling already comfortable everywhere.

I pulled the trigger, starting to fire and kill all the ponies, blood splattering like in a Hollywood film, and for some reason, I enjoyed it, too much to be honest.

When I finished shooting all the ponies that were addicted to me, I looked at the blue pony, she looked at me in full horror and anger.

Now, I thought she would run and think she would be next, but she was still at the exact same spot.

“Uhh…” I said, lowering my M16, looking at her, she just continued looking at me in horror.

“You saw too much…” I said, lifting the gun again, then starting to shoot madly with closed eyes since the sound of it shooting is even more annoying then a hammer hitting a bullet. I finished shooting, opening my eyes to see if I hit her, and when I opened them, I saw she wasn’t there anymore.

I felt a cold touch on my shoulder, going through my armour, I froze up immediately, staggering to say out “Nice weather today, right?”, starting to run as fast as possible somewhere where she can’t get me.

I ran very fast, nearly tripping after every step, and then I tripped and fell, hurting myself.

I looked and saw that the pony was in front of me, looking down at me, saying “Why are thou running from us?”

Now that’s some crazy mixture for me, I want only English or only Shakespearean.

        I took my M16, taking aim at her, and yelled “Stay away from me! I will shoot myself if you will!” I yelled, putting the gun then at myself. She looked at me like I was an idiot, rolling her eyes.

        I shot the bullet, and that’s when the dream ended for me, and returned to my life.

        I woke up, hastily looking around to see if it was only a dream “Still here, shit,” I said, looking out of the window that somehow got repaired in that small time and saw that it was night outside.

I got up and started moving to the door, trying to open the door, failing like always because of the hooves.

I pushed the door and it opens, so simple was that. Oh. My. Fucking! God! Are you now seriously kidding me?! I can’t open them with that but I can just by pushing it open?! This is a trollish world! Fuck sakes!

I got out and closed the door using my mouth, and started walking around in the city, enjoying the night very much, since it’s the time that I feel mostly calm and can do nearly all the crap I want. I started to hear some feminine moaning, forcing me to look in it’s direction.

As much as it interests me to see what is going on, nope. I continued walking to a place I hadn’t explored yet, until I saw that gingerbread house. I looked around, seeing nobody, and headed towards the gingerbread house.

“I’m hungry. Fuck it, I’m trying it out,” I said, taking a bite, starting to chew it, immediately spitting it out after the first chew.

“Blah! God dammit that isn’t tasty!” I said, wiping the taste off my tongue with my hoof. “So, it does taste like candy, and you can from the looks of it, eat it, but that’s such a bad taste, never again.” I continued heading in the same direction, seeing some new stuff I’d missed, like that park that appeared randomly when I actually got first in this crazy town. I had the worrying feeling just to go somewhere, hide for dear life, and kill everything in my ten meter radius, but I managed to calm myself.

I continued walking, thinking what more could pop up. I looked around and saw some kind of another house, a rather big one, but I can’t describe it because of the night, I saw a pony, big, with wings and horn...Yeah, anyways, I think I should just run for dear life and cry for help. I started backing away but she stayed at her position, which is good, since that’s really creeping me out now, I saw her in my dream, and now here. I turned and ran, falling on my face immediately. I heard laughter from the houses.

I stood up and started walking again, hoping that I wasn’t getting stalked now, because I didn’t sign up for this shit at all.

I saw that the library was right in front of me and I rammed full into the door, making a very loud noise, seeing that the lights got on.

“Oh bollocks…” I mumbled, running off to another random direction I didn’t explore, trying to do it stealthy but those hooves weren’t made for that.

I heard someone say something and then yell at me, but I ignored it, trying to focus on running.

“Just run. Just run!” I thought, nearly yelling the end, and heard some other yelling and then laughing behind and beside me. I didn’t stop, continuing to run.

This cute little act has gone on for long enough! I’m breaking out of this shit! It’s time to get out of this village and survive alone! I continued running, and saw Twilight just beside me, looking at me in shock and anger. I looked on my feet and saw I was running in place and that a purple aura was holding me, I sighed and let go of the muscles on my legs, letting them fall limp. The first reason, because of shock is surely because I’m that dumb enough to run instead of saying ‘sorry’, and anger because it’s the middle of the night.

“You’re coming with me, mister.” She said in a very angry voice. I mentally circled the anger because it’s the middle of night and gulped, expecting she would eat me or fry me in a pan and then feed me to the animals.

“Don’t cook me! Don’t kill me! Please don’t hurt me! I got enough problems already!” I said, being truthful actually, since when I get home I get in trouble, since I’m a pony, since I will meet one of the Princesses...so yeah...totally true.

She sighed and replied with a angry voice “No, I didn’t think of that, and we won’t.”

I did think that she lied about that first part, but I’m not sure, but the second one was real, and not a lie.

Expect the worst “Skyfall”, it will only go bad. Where is a knockout if you need one like in those moments?

Chapter 6 : Ouch

Chapter 6

So, I’m inside the library, with Twilight looking at me with a very angry but at the same time with a exhausted face, saying some seconds later “What were you doing outside so late? Plus, why are you even outside, couldn’t you just read a book?”

My eye twitches Books? Only E-books, but surely no normal books! I look at Twilight, saying casually “I hate books.”

She just looked at me with her mouth open and eyes wide, her left eye twitching. It would be funny if smoke and steam would come out of her back like a broken robot.

“How can you not like books?!” She yelled at me, taking me off guard a bit with that statement and not with a punch full across the face

“I come from a modern time where we use Electronic books, where they use a display and you can move it to the next page with buttons or with the touchscreen”

I just noticed what I said, giving many words out she surely doesn’t know, and she doesn’t, because she just tilts her head, giving out a dumb face.

“What’s a touchscreen?” Twilight asked, looking to me like I’m an alien.

I look at her, starting to think a bit how to say that for people who are total new with electricity, “A touchscreen is a screen -I hope you know what that at least is- what you can touch and move stuff, it’s like a compu- I mean...uhh...like a super futuristic stuff you ponies will discover sooner or later.”

She looked at me, having a face I can’t describe, but it has tiredness inside, so much I can tell at least.

“I’m going to bed, goodnight”, and with that, she’s up the stairs and gone.

“Pff...what a bitch…” I murmured, only to be surprised by a voice upstairs that heard like a groan that gave me a bit laughter.

I look at the door, starting to sneak towards it, only to be stopped by my ears hearing what ridiculous sound my hooves gave when I’m sneaking. I just stopped and looked at it before going to a couch and crashing on it, trying to fall asleep again.

I open my eyes and look around, feeling very shitty, and see a pony I never saw before.

I’m not sure what it was, but I know that this pony who I’m looking at right now, has a hourglass as a cutie mark, brown fur and a darker kind of brown for the mane and tail, the pony looked like somebody who is able to travel through time because of that cutie mark.

Behind him was Twilight, who was chatting with the pony.

Soon the pony nodded farewell and walked off, the way he walked would make him very suspicious like he isn’t one from this planet.

Twilight looked at me, I tried to turn around, covering myself quickly, pretending like I’m still asleep, but it was too late, I heard hooves coming closer and closer until it stopped, and felt something touch me.

“Time to wake up, we have lot to do” said Twilight, hearing the happiness inside of her.

I just give a groan, hoping that she will just get away from me and let me sleep, but she didn’t, in fact, she started tickling me, making me laugh hysterically until I smacked her by reflex. Bitch.

She smacked me back, hard, I fell of the couch, hitting the ground, opening my eyes, seeing that Twilight is right ontop of me, looking at me with anger or something near like that.

“Why did you hit me?” she asked me with a growl, continuing to look at me with anger.

“You tickled me, I hate if somebody tickles me, I give a reflex that hits everything near me, mainly it’s the person who tickles me.” I blurted everything out at once, taking in a deep breath in after I finished.

She looked at me, not understanding fully what I just said, giving one of the ‘The fuck did you just say dude?’

I released my breath, saying calmly and slowly “Tickling me is not good, I hate it much, my body’s reflex hits anybody who is near me, the person who tickles me gets hit, how hard is that to understand?”

She looked at me, thinking what I just said, getting off me, walking off, no idea why.

I just stand up and started walking towards the door, only to be surprised by a pink blur passing over me. Don’t even want to know what the fuck that was.

I continue walking, looking around what is kinda daily or not daily in this crazy world full with ponies.

I saw some ponies just chatting, ponies walking around and Lyra sitting on a bench like a human.

Guess today is a day nothing will happen or something, fuck.

I walk around and look up to the skies, seeing a trail of rainbow that looks highly suspicious and another pony that is has crossed eyes, grey fur, blonde mane and tail and bubbles as the cutie mark.

The pony flies around with a bag and hat, the bag has many mails inside and it’s making a trail with mails from where she comes from.

I try to ignore it and continue walking, seeing how this everything is just an “Everyday” thing that happens all around me.

I see the brown pony with the hourglass cutie mark again, that time with a red fez and close to a...Public police telephone box?

No fucking way! There is actually The Doctor in this universe!

I was beaming, seeing that there is actually a “Doctor Who” in this world.

I start walking up to him, wanting to prank him a bit with my knowledge of Doctor Who and that he doesn’t know me one bit.

“Ey! You there, I need to talk to you!” I yell to him, trotting up to him.

He just stares at me, not understanding one bit.

“Does your Tardis look still like the one of the tenth doctor?”

He just looks at me, eyes so small and mouth open so wide that it comes to look like I broke him.

“What? I just asked you if your Tardis looks like the one from the tenth doctor, is it so hard to understand that?”

He continues staring at me.

“Doctor, Gallifrey is calling you, maybe you should go to your Tardis and fly very fast to Gallifrey.”

        He just turned and started running to his Tardis and going away as fast as possible.

“Hehe, run away as fast as you can, but I will find you again.” I said darkly, looking at the sky.

I started walking again, seeing some minutes later that gingerbread house that I took a bite off, making me grin since there were so many people inspecting that ‘damage’.

Serves them right since it’s edible.

I walk past the house and continue looking around, seeing some other stuff I didn’t see like a fucking market district that’s very crowded.

I get shoved all around the place by the ponies, on the ninth shove, I fell on the ground, and I get squished and squashed by the ponies.

“Ouch. Ah. Fuck. Damn. Ow”, it hurts like hell, they’re heavier then they look, even though they have such a small body.

I felt being dragged out by someone somehow, I didn’t see an aura of magic so somebody is pulling me, and whoever is doing that, does that very good.

I lay down and feel for more then some seconds that nothing is hitting me, I look up and see Spike who looks at me worryingly.

“Skyfall, you alright?”

“I felt better, much better”

I groan as I slowly stand up, looking around and seeing that I’m out of the crowd.

“How did you even pull me out of this crowd?”

“You guys aren’t so heavy” said Spike, looking as he’s about to pass out

Really not heavy, eh? I thought so aswell mate, but it turned out I totally wrong.

I look at Spike and then towards a direction, saying then “I think I head back to the library to read or do other stuff, this place here is to crazy for me.”

Spike mutters something, saying then a bit louder “You’re looking at the wrong direction.”

I turn my head to the other direction, saying then “I knew that” and went off to the library.

“Right, totally knew that” says Spike as he starts following me.

Chapter AN-1

This might be rule breaking, might be totally dumb, might be idiotic, but I don't care now.

I've stopped working on this story recently since I started doing a new chapter that is maybe worse, or better, or both.

The story I'm writing is another Original Character story (Might be a total dumb idea) and starts off with...you guessed it, another Swiss, but this time talking as well Swiss-German instead of instantly English.

I will try to do the story 1'000 or more words, but I can't be sure if it will come out like that or only like 994 words.

I'm throwing this into "On Hiatus" or keeping it as "Incomplete", or even canceling this story since it's my first story and I've pretty much ruined the work of doing the story, so I'll think about it.

Some will MAYBE question what the hell is AN-1? Short said, it's a short version of "Author's Note", and why the 1? Because I will maybe do more of them between writing to apologize and give updates.

Since it's rather new updates, I am writing a separate chapter just for this because editing Chapter 6 just for this is dumb (for my taste.)

I hope I will see you guys in the next chapter, new story or next AN, if there's going to be one.