Playcolt: Behind the Scenes

Chapters

Fancy Rarity
Breakfast at Twilight's
Everypony, Rock That Hussy
Law and Older
Picture Perfect Interview
Skippy's on First

Fancy Rarity

Syko shifted nervously in his seat on the train. Here he was riding to Ponyville, going to meet Rarity, one of the Elements of Harmony. He still remembered how he chanced about this, after quite literally bumping into Fancypants, of all ponies...

Syko was walking through Canterlot, nose in the latest Daring Do novel, when he felt something hard in his way. His body kept trying to go, but the thing wouldn't budge. He looked up and dropped his book. He had just bumped into Fancypants!

"Ahhhh...", Syko started.

Fancypants smiled. "Ah, a stallion that knows where he's going. I like that! Say, what's your name, old chap?"

"S-Syko, sir."
"No need to go on with that 'sir' nonsense, Syko. Just Fancypants will do." Fancypants looked him over, noticing his Cutie Mark, a quill overlaying a camera."A journalist, eh? Well, Syko, how would you like an exclusive interview?"

Syko stared at Fancypants, jaw open. He then remembered himself. "O-of course, Fancypants!" He said as he levitated his quills and paper out of his saddlebag and stood up."So, Fancypants-"

Fancypants put a hoof on his shoulder. "Maybe we should do this over lunch, perhaps?"

Syko blushed sheepishly. "Oh, right."

"...afraid it was a cruel joke by my dear mother," Fancypants said, "and by the time I was old enough, I simply had no desire to try the things on!"

"Interesting," Syko said while scrawling down Fancypants' response, "thank you for your time."

"Anything else, Syko?"

"Well, there is one thing..."

"Come on now, out with it. Where's that fighting spirit from before? You've got to grab the bull by the horns!"

Syko took a breath, "Well I noticed that while following you, in a journaliatic sense, not like crazy stalker style, not saying that you'd be a terrible stalking target, I'm sure you have your share of mares stalking you-"

"And a very impressionable colt, if you recall," Fancypants chuckled softly.

"Of course, how could have I forgotten? Anyway during my journalistic exploits, I,noticed a mare tagging along, so naturally I checked to see if she was your marefriend, but that would be silly seeing as how you and Fleur De Lis have such a strong bond, not to mention how she hangs all over you, so I've been checking out sources on who the purple maned mare was, and the fashion editor from my magazine said it was Rarity, and I was like 'Rarity the Element of Harmony Rarity?' and she was like 'yeah' and I was like 'whoa' and then I bumped into you today and we hit it off so well and I was wondering if, because you know her already if-"

"I could set up a meeting with Rarity for you?" Fancypants intoned, "Should I tell her this is related to her various clothing lines, or her status as an Element of Harmony?"

Syko blushed. "I just think she's pretty."

Fancypants shook his head. "I can't very well tell her a journalist thinks she's pretty enough for an interview, although I suppose she'd appreciate the compliment."

"Did I just say that out loud?"

"I'm afraid you did, dear boy."

Syko shook his head. "Well, I meant to say as an Element of Harmony."

Fancypants lowered his head, motioning Syko to do the same. "You do realize there's an unofficial moratorium on those kinds of articles, mainly because they risk being read by Princess Celestia, whose ire no publication would want." Fancypants looked up, prompting Syko to do the same. "Which publication did you say you wrote for, again?"

"Playcolt"

Fancypants sucked his teeth. "You realize this would be a hard sell, right?"

Syko nodded, "All the pictures I would have of them would have no exposure. I'll even have them clothed if they so desire."

Fancypants looked up, "Rarity's a cultured mare," then looked at Syko, "I'll get you a meeting."

Syko looked in shock. He then proceeded to shake Fancypants' hoof with both hooves, "Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou! My editor will love this! Not to say they wouldn't appreciate your interview any less, mind you, just that they'd LOVE an interview with an Element-"

"I know you must be excited, dear boy, but could I have my hoof back?"

Syko pulled away and blushed. "Sorry. I just get easily excited." Syko stood up and magicked a few bits out of his bag, which Fancypants gently nudged down with his own telekinesis. "...but my share.."

"Will be covered by me." Fancypants intoned gently as he pulled the full sum out of his saddlebag, as well as a generous tip. "I'll contact fair Rarity, and we'll be in touch."

"Next stop, Ponyville!"

Syko perked up at that. He gathered his saddlebags and waited at the door, subtly shifting to account for the motion of the train. The train slowed to a stop and the doors opened as he got off the train.

Rarity was waiting at the train stop for Fancypants' friend. He said he was a journalist from a gentlecolt's magazine whose journalistic integrity was top-notch. She looked out for his description of a stallion with a green mane, orange fur, and a cutie mark of a quill overlaying a camera. She spotted him.

"Yoo-hoo!" She called out, waving her hoof in the air, "Syko!"

The stallion who identified himself as such swung his head around, spotted Rarity and rushed up to her, taking her hoof in his, and kissed it. Rarity squealed at the attention. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Rarity."

"The pleasure is all mine, Syko. Why don't you come with me to my boutique and tell me about yourself along the way, as well as your article."

Syko drew a breath, "Well, as you know, I'm Syko and I'm a journalist for Playcolt, and I'd like to do a piece on the Elements of Harmony-"

"All of the Elements?" Rarity inquired.

"-well yes, that would be ideal, seeing as you come in a set, being six of you and all, and I'd really like to focus on the friendship aspect, seeing how the Elements are powered by friendship, and it'd be a powerful piece because adults don't really focus on friendship, at least not like you girls do, anyway, and you girls could set an example for ponies everywhere-"

"Uh-huh," Rarity cut him off, "we're here."

"Oh, this is Carousel Boutique? It's very pretty, it's nice to see the cauldron of creativity for all your dresses, you know, we use a lot of your dresses in our magazine, and stallions buy the dresses we feature for their marefriends because they see them in our publications-"

"You remind me of one of my friends," Rarity cut him off again, "A few ground rules before we enter my establishment."

Syko nodded.

"First, you do NOT mention the name of your publication in my store. Sweetie Belle, my sister, might get the wrong idea about me and think I'm one of your hussies, not to mention tell her friends and then we'll have a whole schoolhouse of rumors flying about. Got that?"

Syko nodded again.

"Second, if you want my friends to agree to this interview, you'll approach them with me and not by yourself. While I, as a mare of culture, understand that the pictorals in your magazine are as much a work of art as my dresses are, they might not see it that way, being Ponyvillians. They'll most likely imagine your magazine as common pornography and refuse on principle if encountered by you alone. Let me handle the convincing. Understand?"

Syko nodded once again.

"Third, any pictures you take of us will be fully clothed, so that any impressionable stallions don't get the wrong idea. I will provide the dresses. Are we in agreement?"

"Oh, of course, Rarity-"

"Then do please come in," Rarity said as she opened the door, "you'll stay in town as my personal guest."

"Y-you don't have to-"

Rarity put a hoof to Syko's lips, "But I insist. You can stay in the guest room."

Breakfast at Twilight's

Syko put his saddlebags in the dresser provided. He then jumped on the bed and sunk in. Being your own boss certainly had its own benefits, he mused. This bed was comfier than his own bed back in his apartment in Canterlot. He hugged one of the fine pillows and drifted off to sleep, visions of a Ponyzter dancing in his mind.

Rarity was in her workroom, absentmindedly stiching while worrying about how to broach the subject of the article with them. Pinkie Pie would do it no problem, she figured, seeing as how this would be a chance to make all of Equestria smile. Rainbow Dash shouldn't be an issue either, being quite the glory-hound.

"She probably has her own subscription," Rarity snorted to herself.

That would leave Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, and Applejack. Twilight shouldn't be that hard, with a little goading she might see it as giving a Friendship Report to all of Equestria. Fluttershy would be a bit harder. She was just, well, so shy. And after that debacle with Photo Finish, she tried to stay out of the limelight as much as possible. She'd be a tough sell. But not as tough as Applejack.
Applejack was a salt-of-the-earth good ol' pony. She worked her field harder than Rarity worked her dresses. Exactly the kind of mare who would stick her nose up at being published in a gentlecolt's magazine, dismissing it as mere pornography. She would need the most convincing, not to mention a stroke of pure luck. Rarity finished her sewing and placed the dress on the ponyquin and headed up to bed, first checking in on her sister, who was sleeping peacefully. She then checked on her guest, who was sleeping with a goofy grin on his face. She then went to her own room, stealthily slipping under her covers, and sleep overtook her.

Syko woke up to the smell of pancakes. He threw his sheets off of him, following his nose to the kitchen, where Rarity and a filly with a white coat and a pink and purple mane were sitting at the table, eating pancakes. He noticed that there was a place setting for him.

"Please, Syko, do sit down and join us," Rarity said between bites as she magically motioned with her fork at the empty seat, "no guest of mine is going without eating."

Syko nodded dumbly and sat down at the table and magically grabbed the fork, cutting the pancakes with the side, and took a bite. These were delicious! He took a few more bites, noticing the quiet at the table. He decided to break it.

"So, you're Sweetie Belle?"

The unicorn with the pink and purple mane looked up, "Yeah, and you must be Syko! Rarity's talked about you!"

Syko raised an eyebrow, "Really? What did she say about me?"

"She said you work for a magazine and that you live in Canterlot!"

"Those things are true..."

"So what magazine do you work for?"

"Well..." Syko started before Rarity gave him a glare that would melt a volcano. He started again, "Ponies. I work for Ponies."

"What do you write?"

"I write media reviews."

"But isn't that stallion named-"

"Pen name."

"Pen name? What's that?"

"It's like Gabby Gums, but without the scandal," Rarity interjected.

"Wait a second...YOU'RE Gabby Gums!?" Syko exclaimed.

"Well," Sweetie Belle murmured, "me and my two friends...wait, how do you know about that?"

"They reprinted the articles in the Canterlot Post. I stopped following after a bit, but the rumors about Gabby Gums being a filly appear to be somewhat true. Boy do I have a story to tell my friends, meeting Gabby Gums!"

Sweetie Belle blushed at being so popular. "Th-thanks, I think." She muttered while rubbing her neck with her hoof.

"That's enough chatter for now, Sweetie Belle," Rarity chimed in, "if you're done with your breakfast, you should be heading off to school."

Sweetie Belle groaned, grabbed her saddlebags, and headed out the door. Syko was finishing up his pancakes when Rarity grabbed her plate and fork and started washing it, "So, Syko, first on our itinerary is Twilight-"

"Princess Twilight Sparkle?" Syko intoned as he felt a lump in his stomach.

"Well, yes, do you know any other Twilights?"

"I did a piece on Twilight Velvet when I was working on Hub magazine-"

"You mean Twilight's mother."

"Very nice mare, was promoting a children's charity, but that's not important." Syko took a breath and exhaled. "Do you have any Whiskey?"

"Why yes I do, in fact. Applejack's cousin Braeburn sent us some Appleloosian vintage, I believe it's right...here!" Rarity said as she grasped the bottle of whiskey along with a glass, levitating them over to Syko, who grabbed them with his own magic as he unscrewed the cap and poured out an entire glassful, "What is this about? And more importantly, why are you drinking hard liquor before 4 o'clock, let alone 9 AM?"

"Picked up the habit when dealing with high-powered ponies," he said as he slammed the entire glass down, sucking in as his face scrunched up, "calms my nerves. Never thought I'd meet royalty in my life."

"Well, what did you expect when you wanted to meet my friends?" Rarity scolded as she took the whiskey away from Syko, "I'm friends with a Princess. Now get up, we need to be there before it opens."

Syko stood up uneasily and nodded, following Rarity out the door and to the library.

Twilight was triple-checking her double-checked checklist when she heard a light rapping on her door. Strange, she thought. Nopony should be here, the library doesn't open for another hour! Who could it be? Pinkie Pie would be baking, Applejack's applebucking on the farm, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash would be asleep, and she herself was in the library, so barring any time travel exemptions, she trotted to the door and opened it, letting out a big grin, saying, "Hey Rarity!"

"Hello, darling. I have someone I'd like you to meet," and Rarity stepped away to reveal a pony with a green mane and orange coat, slightly wobbly.

"Is he drunk?" Twilight whispered.

"Nonsense, Twilight, he just had a drink to calm his nerves," Rarity whispered back. Rarity then cleared her throat, "Twilight, meet Syko, a freelance journalist with a reputable magazine," Rarity then faced Syko, "Syko, this is Princess Twilight Sparkle,"

Syko bowed deeply.

"Get up, Syko. I hate groveling." Twilight grumbled, "Come in. Would you like some tea?"

Syko got up and cantered in. "No thank you, Princess."

"Call me Twilight," Twilight said, a noted tension in her voice, "Now what do you want?"

Syko cleared his throat. "Well, Twilight, I'd like to do a piece on friendship, your friendship, in particular, seeing as how it literally saved Equestria on several occasions-"

"Let me cut to the chase," Rarity interjected, "basically, he would like to interview the six of us in a roundtable format, to get all of our perspectives on friendship,"

Twilight planted her chin in her hoof. She turned most journalists away because they wanted an interview with The Princess Twilight Sparkle, but this seemed different. This seemed doable. She lifted her head.

"Ok. I'll do it."

"Pinkie Promise?"

"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye," Twilight intoned, "So what magazine are you publishing this for?"

Syko spurted out, "Did I mention I interviewed your mother?"

"That didn't answer my question."

"Playcolt," Rarity said crisply.

Twilight nodded. "Sounds nice," and trotted over to the kitchen to pour herself some tea. A loud crash was heard which was obstenibly the teacup crashing, which Twilight didn't notice due to shock. "PLAYCOLT!?"

Twilight rushed over to Rarity and grabbed her by the scruff. "That magazine is filth! I caught my brother clopping to that once! I'll never-"

"You Pinkie Promised..." Rarity winked with a cheshire grin.

Twilight sighed and let Rarity down. She sat on her haunches. "Is the article really about friendship?"

"Yes it is," Syko replied.

"Will we be...exposed?"

"Rarity demanded that you all wear clothes."

Twilight sighed again. She then levitated a quill and parchment over to her and started writing furiously. She finished writing.

"SPIKE! SEND THIS!"

"Geez, Twi, you don't have to be so loud," a boyish voice said walking down the steps, revealing a baby dragon cleaning an ear with his pinky claw. He then breathed on the letter and walked back up to bed.

"What was that?" Syko asked.

"She just sent a letter to Princess Celestia..." Rarity uttered in shock. They then heard a belching sound as a scroll was flung from the upstairs bedroom. Twilight grabbed it with her magic and read it, her face becoming more surprised with each line.

Dear Twilight,

I think it's a wonderful idea to participate in an article about friendship in Playcolt, as long as you're dressed. I happen to know Hugh Heifer personally and I think he'd be delighted to know that one of his staff took it upon themselves to contact you. Tell this Syko that he's got a good head on his shoulders! I'll have to purchase a few issues of Playcolt to evaluate his journalistic integrity for myself, though if Rarity thinks he's above board, I think it would serve you well to trust your friend's judgment.

Your teacher,

Princess Celestia

"She...she...look, Rarity!"

Rarity grabbed the letter from Twilight with her magic and read, a smile forming on her face as she showed it to Syko, who looked upon it in shock.

"You know what this means, Twilight?" Rarity squealed.

"That I have to do it," Twilight muttered dejectedly.

"You were thinking about breaking a Pinkie Promise?" Rarity asked with a shocked look on her face.

"Well, I asked Celestia about it, but as you can see, she's all for it!" Twilight groaned exasperatedly.

"Well, now that you're on board, I suppose it's time get Pinkie Pie," Rarity mused, "seeing as she's the only awake mare I want to deal with."

"Fine, let's go to Sugarcube Corner," Twilight moaned as she picked herself up and ushered everyone out the door.

Everypony, Rock That Hussy

The three headed off to Sugarcube Corner, noticing how eerily silent it was. When they went in, they noticed a lot of fog and a synth beat, and Pinkie stood with her back to the door, wearing a werewolf costume. In front of them were a vampony costume, a mummy costume, and a seapony costume.

"Put them on," Pinkie said as the music picked up, "NOW!"

The three hurriedly put their costumes on, and none too soon, for Pinkie began singing:

Everypony!
(yeah)
Come and show me!
(yeah)
Everypony!
(yeah)
Show me how, alright
How we dance TONIGHT!

And then Pinkie led them out of the bakery as the beat dropped, revealing a flash mob of ponies dancing, which they tried to join in
with, with some success. Syko got a feeling inside of him and started:

Hey, yeah!
Oh Celestia we're partying hard
Gonna earn that party card
Gonna sing about it everywhere
Gonna belt my voice into the air, yeah!

Rarity joined in with

Am I instinctual?
(yeah)

Pinkie piped up with

Am I a solo act?
(yeah)

Twilight flew up and sang

Am I magical?
(Yeah)

And then they all sang together with

Am I everything you need?
You better show me how
Everypony!
(yeah)
Come and show me!
(yeah)
Everypony!
(yeah)
Show me how, alright
How we dance TONIGHT!

Pinkie then proceeded to lead what seemed like the entire town in a dance which involved some fancy hoofwork, holding their hooves out limply in front of them and bobbing their heads side to side. Twilight ran up a wall and flipped off, floating down. Syko felt the urge to sing well up inside of him, and went

Why can't I stop singing
Even thought my ears are ringing?
I wanna stop, but I gotta keep on
Until my voice is gone
Yeah!

Twilight chimed in with

Am I instinctual?
(yeah)

Pinkie piped up

Am I a solo act?
(yeah)

Rarity sang

Am I magical?
(yeah)

Then they all joined in with

Am I everything you need?
You better show me how!
Everypony!
(yeah)
Come and show me!
(yeah)
Everypony!
(yeah)
Show me how, alright
How we dance, TONIGHT!

Everypony was dancing now, rocking to the rhythm.

Everypony!
(yeah)
Come and show me!
(yeah)
Everypony!
(yeah)
Show me how, alright
How we dance, TONIGHT!

Twilight, Rarity, Pinkie and Syko struck a pose as did everyone collected. They then broke away and continued about their business. Pinkie turned to Syko, beaming.

"That," Pinkie started, "was AMAZING!l

"Yeah," Syko said, "I didn't know I had it in me but when the music started-"

"And you just went up and DESTROYED it! You bucking killed it! You rocked that crowd like-"

"Like a boss! Who knew that theater major would pay off like that!? I was just in the song, and I couldn't-"

"Help how awesome you were! You were like 'yeah' and the crowd was like 'yeah' and-"

"Ahem," Rarity cut them off as both Syko and Pinkie stared at her, "I believe you have some business to discuss, hmmm?"

Syko looked at Rarity, then collected himself. "Pinkie, I'm a journalist who would love to do a piece on the six of you-"

"Ok!" Pinkie beamed.

"But I didn't even tell you what magazine I-"

"Don't care!" Pinkie said, "Anypony who could seamlessly join a flash mob like that is A-O-K in my book!"

"Pinkie, it's Playcolt." Twilight informed her.

Pinkie's eyes widened, then she started smiling, "You mean the magazine with all the rappers, rockstars and actors interviewed? Double sign me up! We're finally famous!" she yelled, bouncing into the air.

"Pinkie, we're already famous," Twilight interjected, "or have you forgotten about Nightmare Moon, Discord, and the Crystal Empire?"

"Yeah, but that's history book famous," Pinkie complained, "but now we'll be FAMOUS famous, like with paparazzi and cool coltfriends and waking up with enough pony tranquilizers in your system to put down a bull minotaur famous!" she exclaimed excitedly.

All three of the ponies stared at her blankly. Rarity then started, "Darling, just because you're famous doesn't mean that you have to do drugs."

Pinkie chuckled."I know that, silly! But I'll be famous enough to get away with it-"

Rarity interjected with, "But you won't. Right?"

"Of course not! I've got enough skip in my step that I don't need any more!" Pinkie beamed.

Syko stepped up and asked, "By the way, how often do you do this?"

"Do what?" Pinkie queried.

"...break out into song like this."

Rarity answered with, "I'd say about once a month,"

Syko looked up thoughtfully. "But how did we know the words?"

Twilight said, "It's Pinkie Pie. You're better off not knowing."

"Uh-huh," Syko replied, "so where do we go next?"

Rarity chimed in with, "Around now, Rainbow Dash should be up a tree. And I know which one..."

"Rainbow!"

Rainbow Dash kept her eyes closed, hoping the vocal assailant would go away.

"Rainbow!"

No such luck. She shook the cobwebs out of her head and opened up her eyes to-

"DASHIE!"

Rainbow Dash instinctively reared back at Pinkie Pie's verbal and visual assault, forgetting she was up a tree. She fell on the ground with a huge WHUMP! But the ground was lumpy. She stood up and saw that she had fallen on an orange pony with a green mane.

"Hey Pinkie," Rainbow Dash grumbled, "who's this joker?"

"He's awesome!" Pinkie exclaimed, "I secretly planned a flash mob, and he KNEW THE WORDS I WANTED HIM TO SING! Isn't that amazing!? He was like 'yeah' and everypony was like 'yeah' and-"

"Let me try to explain this," Rarity cut in, helping Syko up, "Rainbow Dash, this is Syko, a journalist with a reputable magazine, and he'd like to write an article about the six of us and our friendship."

Syko nodded.

"What's the catch?" Rainbow asked warily.

"Well, the magazine is a...gentlecolt's magazine," Rarity waffled.

"You mean like Gentlecolt's Quarterly?" Rainbow queried.

"Think lower-brow..." Rarity said.

"Playcolt," Twilight cut her off, "the magazine is Playcolt."

"PLAYCOLT!?" Rainbow Dash exclaimed as she reared, "No way! They'll never let me be a Wonderbolt if I'm shown in that rag!"

"Are you sure, because my first interview was Spitfire..." Syko intoned.

Rainbow looked flabbergasted. "S-s-s-spitfire was in Playcolt!?"

"Yep," Syko said, "and she even did full. Frontal. Exposure."

Rainbow was aghast, then quickly collected herself. "Well, if she did it, then I'll do it," Rainbow gulped, "full frontal."

Rarity interjected, "Now Rainbow Dash, you don't..."

"Yes I do! Or do you think I'm not sexy enough?" Rainbow accused.

"No, it's just that the rest of us will be clothed, and you'll look like an absolute trollop!" Rarity spat.

Rainbow Dash looked confused.

"Harlot?" Rarity offered helpfully.

"What do romance novels have to do with anything?"

"Strumpet?"

"Do you mean trumpet?"

"Streetwalker?"

"I'm a flygirl, baby!" Rainbow punctuated by flying around the tree.

"Working girl?"

"Well, we're all working girls, right?"

Syko couldn't help but stifle a giggle.

"What's so funny, Syko!?"

Syko explained, "What I think she's trying to say is that you're a fallen mare,"

"Is that another 'Rainbow Crash' crack?"

Rarity was giggling, "What we mean is that you're a mare of the evening,"

"Only on Nightmare Night!"

Syko and Rarity were rolling around in laughter.

"What's so funny!?"

Syko chimed in with, "We're trying to say that you're a hussy,"

"Ok, now I'm confused. What do griffon military units have to do with this!?"

Rarity and Syko looked up, their turn to be confused.

"Hussars," Twilight cut in, "A nineteenth century griffon cavalry force known for their brutality. Rainbow Dash thought that you said 'Hussar'"

"So what does any of this have to do with the griffon military?"

Twilight said, "It doesn't. They were calling you a hustler."

Rainbow was up a tree. "What does ANY of that have to do with gambling?"

Twilight frustratedly explained, "No, like an...escort, a-"

"-slore," Pinkie interjected, "They were calling you a slore."

Rainbow stared angrily at Rarity and Syko, who grinned sheepishly. Twilight's face bore a look of confusion, looking at Pinkie for
help.

"A slut and a whore at the same time," Pinkie explained helpfully.

"But how can you be a slut and a whore at the same time?" Twilight mused, "a whore denotes payment for sevices rendered, whereas a slut just gives it up for free, unless..."

"Turn of phrase. Don't think about it too hard," Pinkie replied.

"Yeah," Rainbow Dash interjected, "you might pop your precious alicorn brain," she said acerbically. She then stared at Rarity and Syko with a vicious glare, then broke down laughing. Rarity and Syko looked at each other confusedly.

"What's so funny?" Syko asked.

Rainbow Dash calmed down. "Anyone who could keep up a barrage of insults that I don't even know is ok in my book!"

"But I..."

"Oh, come on, Syko! Rarity's too high-class to know that many synonyms for slore!"

Rarity and Syko looked at each other. Syko then said, "Yeah, let's go with that."

Rarity collected herself and announced, "Alright, now, next on my list is Fluttershy. Celestia knows how we'll pull this one off..."

Law and Older

The walk to Fluttershy's cottage was uneventful. They reached the door, and Rarity lightly rapped on it. They heard chattering, and a rabbit opened the door to greet them, impatiently tapping his foot, looking up at the ponies standing in front of him. He pointed an accusing finger at Syko.

"He's a journalist with a reputable publication that would like to do an article on the six of us," Rarity said, "would you be a dear and get Fluttershy for us, Angel?"

Angel glared at Rarity, then closed the door. Shuffling was heard, then Fluttershy opened the door, Angel in tow. She scrubbed the sleep out of her eyes, yawning as she said, "Angelbunny here told me something about a magazine article you girls were writing?" Fluttershy then caught sight of Syko, and hid a little behind the door, whispering, "who's that?"

"He's the journalist!" Pinkie said while bouncing.

"And he interviewed Spitfire," Rainbow Dash proclaimed, "full frontal!"

Twilight smacked Rainbow and gave her a glare, "Dash, we're supposed to ease her into it!" she scolded her. Rainbow Dash blushed in apology.

"Full frontal? I don't like the sound of that..." Fluttershy said worriedly.

"Oh, what the hay," Rarity said frustratedly, "he works for Playcolt."

"PLAYCOLT!?" Fluttershy squeaked as she tried to slam the door shut, Angel's foot keeping it open. His pupils had turned into dollar signs as he held out a finger indicating that they hold on a second, letting the door close shortly after.
What followed next was rabid chattering interspersed with cries of "No!", "It's Playcolt!" followed by even more rapid chattering laced with, "Really?" "We're HOW much in the hole?" followed by a vase shattering and a squeak that could only have come from Fluttershy. The door then opened, Fluttershy peeking out and squeaking, "Come in, everypony."

The five came inside, noticing a shattered vase and Angel sitting on the couch, nursing his paw. He also appeared to be wearing sunglasses. They all sat down in the couches in the room, Fluttershy sitting last next to Angel.

"Now, Mister..." Fluttershy started.

"Syko,"

"Ah, Syko. Mister Syko, before we enter in a business arrangement-"

"Who said we would be entering into business together?"

"Judging by your Cutie Mark, I assume you'll be taking the photographs?" Fluttershy asked. Syko nodded. "Thought so," and with that Fluttershy pulled out six stacks of paperwork. Syko looked one of them over.

"Are these...contracts?"

"Why yes they are," Fluttershy said as Syko pulled out a pen and looked over the contract, "It says that the model(that's me) will enter into a freelance business agreement with Playcolt Inc.(that's you) and that a pre-agreed upon amount of five thousand bits-"

"What!?"

"I could easily ask for double, or even triple, seeing as how I was Photo Finish's star model-"

"That's true," Syko grumbled.

"So, as I was saying, five thousand bits goes into this account within a window of two weeks of the photoshoot or an additional five hundred bits will be added on as damages each week. Oh, and thirty percent of that goes into this account over here."

"What's this account?"

"That's for my agent. We've found that it streamlines the process."

"Who's your agent?"

Fluttershy's eyes lit up. "Why, Angelbunny of course," and she started rubbing Angel's cheeks together, "who's the cutest agent ever? Yes you are, oh yes you are!" she said devolving into baby talk as Angel smacked her away, hissing as his cut paw made contact with her face and pulling it back to his side.

"The RABBIT'S an AGENT!? Horseapples!"

Angel glared at Syko, then pulled out a card. Syko grabbed it with his magic and looked it over:

Angel A. Bunny
Talent Agent

Syko glared at the rabbit. "You don't know the first thing about this business-"

Angel shut him up with a glance, hopped over to the wall, and kicked it, catching a frame that dropped, hopped back to the table and handed it to Syko. Syko took it with his magic and began reading:

Canterlot University
awards this
Bachelors of Science
in
Business
to
Angel Artemis Bunny

Syko sat there dumbfounded while Rarity grabbed it with her magic and began reading. "Bucking rabbit has a bachelor's in business!"

"ARTEMIS!?" the girls crowded around the degree exclaimed. Angel blushed sheepishly.

"Well I for one think it's a very refined name to have," Rarity assured Angel.

"I think it's lovely," Twilight assured him as well.

Rainbow and Pinkie were failing to stifle giggles as they busted out in laughter.

"Oh man, that's rich!" Rainbow Dash chortled.

"Yeah, I mean it's so ironic you'd be named after a goddess!" Pinkie cut in, "and of hunting, of all things?" she said before breaking down laughing again.

Angel turned his head towards Fluttershy. "I thought it sounded very pretty. And I still think it does," she said reaching out to Angel when he smacked her hoof away, clearly miffed.

"So that covers you," Syko asserted, "but who are these other five for?"

"Oh, those are for the other girls. Same deal, except they only get two thousand. Same damages apply and you girls will have to fill in your own account information."

"And you drew these yourself?"

"Yeah," then Fluttershy hunched her shoulders, "if that's ok..."

"No, it's fine," Syko reassured her, "I'll just have to run them by legal, is all." Syko stood up, "Well, what are we waiting for? Get signing!"

WHUMP!

Applejack felt invigorated as she bucked all the apples off of a tree. It was hard work, but it was honest work. The best kind. She took her stetson off and wiped the sweat from her brow, noticing the girls and a bright orange stallion poking around, obviously looking for her.

"HEY! She yelled, waving a hoof, "OVER HERE!"

Everypony looked up and headed towards Applejack, who had put her stetson back on. "Hey girls," she said, "who's this feller?"

"Well I'm glad you asked," Rarity said cheerfully, "this here is-"

"Let the pony introduce himself, will ya?"

Syko cleared his throat, "I'm Syko, a journalist for a reputable gentlecolt's magazine, and I'd like to interview the six of you on your friendship!" Everypony cringed at 'gentlecolt' except Applejack.

Applejack had a thoughtful look on her face, "Ya mean like Sports Illustrated? Shucks, we ain't all that good at sports-"

"Think lower-brow," Twilight intoned.

Applejack stared blankly, then leaned in conspiratorially and said, "Swimsuit issue?"

Rainbow Dash said worriedly, "Not quite..."

Applejack looked ornery, "Well then, what is it?"

Fluttershy creeped up and said meekly, "Maybe it's better if you just read this..." handing Applejack a contract.

Applejack grabbed the contract and started murmuring, "I, Applejack, (henceforth to be referred to as MODEL), agree to a freelance modeling business ... PLAYCOLT!?" she suddenly yelled as she reared up, "Ain't no way no how ah'm agreein' ta this!"

"But you'll be fully clothed..." Rarity added helpfully.

"Nuh-uh! I seen how they do it in tha movies! They start all lahk, 'you kin wear clothes' and then the next scene is lahk 'take it off, ya slut or we won't pay ya!'"

"You think I would pull a stunt like that on the Elements of Harmony!?" Syko spat out.

Applejack leered at Syko, "Tell me ya haven't pulled that exact stunt on anotha model! I dare ya!"

Syko looked around sheepishy, "Well, it's not my fault they don't read their contracts before signing them! And I never called any of our models sluts!"

Twilight chimed in, "Princess Celestia said it was a good idea!"

Applejack froze at that, "Well, then, take a letter, Twi."

Twilight pulled out a quill and parchment, looking excitied.

"Dear Princess Celestia, " Applejack started, "HAVE YA LOST YER GOL-DURNED MAHND!?"

Twilight looked up at Applejack, clearly miffed. "There's no way I'm sending that."

"Well, that's all yer gettin' from me cause-"

"APPLEFAMILYCOUSINSECRETMEETING!" Pinkie blared out as she dragged Applejack into the house at a blinding speed.

Everypony stared blankly.

"Did she just imply-" Syko started.

"Yes," Twilight said, "fifth cousin, twice removed."

Applejack collected herself and gave an evil look at Pinkie Pie. "Now what was that all about?"

"Come on, Applejack, the rest of us said yes, now you gotta so I can be famous!" Pinkie whined.

"What now? Th' entire town knows who you are! Basides, yer Twilight's friend and mah cousin!"

"Don't you see? Outside of Ponyville, I'm nopony!" Pinkie begged, "but if we do this article, ponies will recognize me for ME, and then I can launch this into a career where I can make all of Equestria smile," Pinkie grinned at that, "maybe even the world!"

Applejack looked unsure, "Well, that sounds lahke a mighty fahne dream there, Pinkie, but ah just can't model for Playcolt-"

"Did someone say Playcolt?" A wizened female voice said from the living room.

"Yes, Granny Smith, now can we just-" Applejack started.

"I was a model for their very first issue."

Both Pinkie's and Applejack's jaws both droppd as they rushed into the living room. Applejack exclaimed, "YOU were in PLAYCOLT!?"

Granny Smith looked up, "Did ah stutter?"

"No, Granny-"

"That's what ah thought. Now, Pinkie, would you be a dear and get the plastic bag from under the mattress?"

Pinkie saluted, "Can do, Granny!" and rushed upstairs, then zoomed back down with a slick plastic bag containing Playcolt Issue One.

"Now how did you find that so quicky?" Applejack asked.

"Easy! It was under 'P!'" Pinkie exclaimed.

Applejack looked confused. "Are ya sayin' mah granny has a bookshelf under her mattress?"

Pinkie leaned in and whispered, "I'm saying that Granny has an incontinence problem," and started gagging from the smell.

Applejack shook her head, grabbed a rag, wiped down the bag, and threw the rag out. She then slipped out the magazine from the bag, and skipped to Granny's pictoral. Sure, she was exposed, but she made it seem...dignified, almost natural.

"That there was advertisement for tha' Zap Apple Jam, it was" Granny mused.

"And Granpappy was okay with this?" Applejack asked.

"Oh, your granpappy loved it," Granny said, "he'd tell anypony would listen that he was married to the very first Playcolt model, and that they should check out Playcolt any chance they got!"

"So, in a way," Pinkie mused, "We'd be continuing an Apple Family tradition!"

"Ah suppose so, Pinkie," Applejack said while standing up, "What are we?" she announced.

"Apples to the Core!" Pinkie and Granny replied.

Applejack and Pinkie Pie headed back to the ponies they left behind, Pinkie Pie smiling.

Syko asked, "So will you do it?"

Applejack looked down, "S'pose ah have to," she said while looking up, a smile across her face, "after all, it's in mah blood!"

Picture Perfect Interview

Rarity ushered the girls into her boutique, snickering with glee at the fashion miracle she pulled off.

"So what's this about?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"And what's behind that curtain?" Twilight queried.

"Ooh, ooh, maybe there's a pony from another land who discovered our magic world of glorious color and built a machine to project his image to scare off two evil witches-"

"I assure you, Pinkie," Rarity interjected, "nothing of the sort is behind the curtain," Rarity then sighed, "what is behind the curtain however, is what I like to call, 'Gala 2.0!'" she said as she drew the curtain away.

"They're like our gala dresses, " Fluttershy noticed.

"...except less." Applejack said.

"Well, then, what are we waiting for? Let's put them on and get this show on the road!"

"Yeah, that's it! Work that tree!"

Syko was in his element. He was commanding Applejack to model. She then started bucking the tree.

Syko started snapping, "Yeah, filly, buck that tree!" He ordered Applejack, "Buck it! Buck it hard! Buck it RAW!"
He then noticed that Applejack was standing there, looking miffed.
"Seriously?" She asked.

Syko grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, got carried away. Let's try your angry face."

Fluttershy was pacing around her cottage while Syko stared at her.

"Come on, I don't have time for this!" Syko said, annoyed.

"Hold on, let me find my good side," she said. She then found a corner and curled up in it.

"Now what's this!?"

"My good side"

Syko shrugged his shoulders and began snapping.

"NO! They are NOT allowed in the picture!"

"But Syko, Pound and Pumpkin Cake are so cute!"

"Pinkie, not only does Playcolt have a no children policy, we would be violating SO MANY child labor laws! Put them away!"

"Awwww..."

"So how's this!"

"Nice pose, Rainbow, just keep it up..."

Syko was taking pictures of Rainbow Dash flying in circles.

"Keep it...up..."

Rainbow Dash then slammed head-first into a tree.

"Rainbow!"

"I'm alright," and she took off, although her flying was decidedly more lopsided.

Rarity was in heaven. Here was a handsome stallion, taking pictures of her whizzing her implements around herself, striking various poses, basking in the glory of the flash.

"Now get on top of the bookcase, Twilight."

"You sure, Syko?" she asked as she flew to the top and sat down.

"Trust me. This shot screams philosopher princess!"

"Ok," Twilight said. Syko took a few photos, when Spike came out.

"Hey Twi, how you-" and belched fire as a flash blinded him and sent a few volumes of Encyclopedia Equestria straight to Celestia. Twilight then proceeded to topple off of the bookcase.

"Sorry," Spike said while blushing.

"Alright," Syko said to the six mares collected around the table, "time for the interview," and Syko pulled a small device the size of a deck of cards and began channeling his magic into it.

"What's that fer?" Applejack questioned.

"This is a recording device so that I catch everything," Syko took a breath to collect himself, then asked, "When did you first become friends?"

"I'll answer this," Twilight said, "It was the night of the Summer Sun celebration when Nightmare Moon returned. I was in from Canterlot checking on the preparations, and I was in no mood to make friends-"

"Yeah, Twilight was a real fuddy-duddy!" Pinkie interjected.

"-well, yeah. But then Nightmare Moon returned, and I set off to face her. But these five mares you see here followed me all the way to the castle of the Royal Pony Sisters, where I realized while facing down Nightmare Moon that these mares were my friends and proved it by fighting through thick and thin to back me up. That provided the spark that activated the Elements of Harmony and allowed us to vanquish Nightmare Moon!"

"Interesting..." Syko mused.

"...and then I decided to mess with him, so when he called me weak and helpless I was like 'yes, Mr Discord I am weak and helpless!" Fluttershy regaled, "and then when he asked if it bothered me that my friends would point that out, I was like, 'Oh, no, Mr Discord, I appreciate that they would do that, they're only trying to help me out to be a better pony' and then he up and brainwashes me!"

"At least it's not as bad as Tom was," Applejack joked.

"I thought we agreed never to speak of that again," Rarity cut in.

"Tom?" Syko asked.

"A rock Rarity believed was a giant diamond," Twilight explained, "I helped her lug it around."

Rarity shot daggers with her eyes at Twilight.

"So we're getting off track..." Syko said.

"Oh yeah!" Rainbow Dash interjected, "Fluttershy stared down a dragon!"

"A dragon?"

"Yeah, she just got all up in his face and told him off! She even got him to apologize to me!"

"And Fluttershy out-stared a cockatrice!" Twilight said.

"Fascinating..." Syko mused.

"And then we felt really bad about not believing Twilight that Cadence was really a bug-pony-monster that fed off of love and she stashed the real Cadence in the Canterlot Caves!" Pinkie blurted out.

Twilight nodded at that.

"But who woulda guessed such an outlandish situation could ever happen?" Applejack explained.

"I forgive you girls," Twilight said, "You girls just didn't know Cadence as well as I do."

"And then our Cutie Marks were on the right ponies, Twilight finished the spell, and our Elements just zapped her!" Rarity explained, "and when she came back, she was the Alicorn Princess you see before you!"

"About that," Syko said, "how is it with the wings, Twilight?"

"Well, I don't really use them that much, so I don't really notice them," Twilight explained, "but my magic's gotten a really big boost."

"Fascinating..."

"And then a certain mare whose name I need not mention stole my textiles!" Rarity exclaimed, "but the five ponies you see here worked through the night to help kickstart my 'Hotel Chic' line, which was received very well by Prim Hemline!"

"So that's where it came from..."

"Yeah, and then she almost didn't get the award because 'that mare' lied and said she lost! But her assistant made it all better by delivering the trophy!" Pinkie added.

"Alright, time for personal questions," Syko announced, "Do any of you have special someponies?"

"No," they all answered in unison.

"So I'm assuming you're all maidens, then,"

They all death-glared at Syko.

"Come on, it's Playcolt, what did you expect? So come on, are you all maidens or not?"

"Yes we are," all except Applejack and Rainbow Dash replied. All four girls stared at Applejack.

"Well, um, ya see, ah was kinda foolin' 'round with Braeburn when we was foals, an' it jus' happened," Applejack looked around at the glares of shock directed at her, "Oh, come on, we was foals! We didn't know what we was doin' was wrong!"

"Ooooh!" Pinkie exclaimed, "can we be kissing cousins, too?" she said as she puckered her lips towards Applejack, who smacked her face away.

"'nuff 'bout me, why aren't ya gettin' on Dashie's case!?" Applejack shouted.

"Now that you mention it, when did you lose your maidenhead, Rainbow Dash?" Rarity implored.

Rainbow Dash was beet red. "Does it count if it was with a griffon?"

The six mares went with Syko to see him off. He hugged each of them in turn.

"Thanks, girls. With these pictures and this interview, I'm sure to kill it at Playcolt!" He then waved as he got on the train to Canterlot.

"Bye, Syko!" The girls said while waving.

Rarity sighed, "Well, everyone will know in six months. Better enjoy your relative obscurity until then."
Fluttershy shuddered.

"Well, I'm used to the limelight by now," Twilight said, "I'm sure it won't be any different than what I've been exposed to,"

"Well, mah business is about ta spike right up!" Applejack exclaimed, "cider and zap apple jam sales are gonna go through tha roof!"

"One step closer to glory!" Rainbow Dash chimed in.

"Ooooh, I'm gonna make so many new friends, it's gonna be so exciting!" Pinkie shouted.

"Well, whatever happens we'll still remain friends, right?" Fluttershy cut in.

"Right!" they all shouted.

Skippy's on First

Six months later

"So this is the place," Twilight announced.

"Ready to go in?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Uh-huh!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"The Playcolt Mansion...never thought I'd be entering THIS wretched hive of scum and villainy," Rarity intoned as they walked to the door.

"It's not that bad," Fluttershy said, "just a bunch of anorexic girls in cat costumes,"

"Cat costumes?" Applejack asked warily, "Ah didn't sign up fer no furry convention,"

"It's just the Playcolt Kitties, Applejack, no need to worry," Fluttershy admonished as they entered the luxurious home.

What came to their eyes was more restaurant/party then home. It was packed to the brim with guests. A pony caught up to them and accosted Fluttershy.

"Fluttershy!"

"Hey, Photo Finish.." Fluttershy said weakly.

"I thought you did not vant to make 'da magics', yet here you are blossoming like a flower!"

"I did it as a favor to my friends..."

"Vell, your pictures are vunderbar! Come join me and ve can talk..." Photo Finish said as she pulled Fluttershy away.

They proceeded in and heard a conversation

"Bon Bon, I finally have hands!"

"Lyra, don't tell me you took this job to wear those paws-"

"HANDS! These are hands!"

"Whatever..."

A familiar monocled stallion waved them over. "Fancypants!" Rarity exclaimed.

"I see you hit it off with my journalist friend here," he said patting the orange pony next to him on his green mane.

"Syko!" The girls cried out.

Syko waved. "Hey girls, how you enjoying the fame?"

"Oh I love it!" Pinkie exclaimed, sitting next to Syko, "let me tell you all about it!"

Rarity was already lost in conversation with Fancypants about something or other, so the three girls remaining trekked further in. They were stopped by a voice.

"Rainbow Dash!"

Rainbow Dash twirled around and saw Spitfire. She saluted."Sir, yes, sir!"

"I saw the article..."

Rainbow Dash gulped.

"And I'm ashamed to see that you didn't have the stones to go full frontal!" Spitfire smirked, "Now drop and give me fifty!"

Rainbow Dash pleaded, "but my friends..."

"Listen here, missy, if your friends were to hop off the top of the Playcolt Mansion headfirst, would you join them?"

"Sir, yes, sir!"

Spitfire looked shocked. "Drop and give me one-hundred right now!"

"Sir, yes, sir!" and Rainbow Dash fell to the ground, starting her one hundred wing push-ups. That left Twilight and Applejack.

"So what do y'suppose we do now?" Applejack queried.

"I don't know..." Twilight mused.

"I might have an idea."

Both ponies turned to see none other than Princess Celestia wearing what appeared to be a black leotard and cat ears!

"W-what are you wearing?" Twilight asked.

"Well it seems Mister Heifer has made me an honorary Playcolt Kitty," Celestia said, "so I decided to take him up on the offer."

"And she looks simply smashing," said a voice from behind Celestia. Celestia stepped away to reveal Hugh Heifer wearing a bathrobe, a very old mare in his arm.

"GRANNY!?" Applejack exclaimed, "when did you get here!?"

"Oh, Mister Heifer picked me hours ago, where he showed me his 'rumpus room'" Granny snickered.

"Granny! Nah! Mah eyes! Mah ears!"

"Oh stop being such a drama queen and join us,"

Applejack nodded dumbly and joined Granny and Hugh.

"So, Celestia...nice party." Twilight said.

"Yes it is," Celestia mused, scanning the room, "have you seen my sister, by any chance?"

"No I haven't-"

"SO MANY FRIENDS! SO. MANY. FRIENDS HERE ON THE MOON!" Luna bellowed as she burst out of a room, blasting the door off of it's hinges. She then picked up a glass and shouted, "OH, THERE YOU ARE, SKIPPY! HELLO, SKIPPY!"

Celestia facehooved when two ponies appeared from the doorframe. "Say it, Tavi..."

"No, Vinyl..."

"Say it!"

Tavi sighed and droned, "How many pony tranquilizers does it take to put down an alicorn?"

Vinyl then said, "I can tell you that it's not five fully loaded shots, cause that's what Luna's on!"

"My sister seems to think that she's on the moon," Celestia said, "see if you can calm her down with some music or something. Have Vinyl Scratch help, seeing as how she's responsible for this..."

"Wait, I got a better idea!" Vinyl exclaimed, "C'mon, Twilight! Baseball protocol!" Vinyl said, magically handing a bat to Twilight, who grabbed it with her magic.

"Baseball protocol?" Twilight asked.

"Just follow my lead," Vinyl whispered as they approached the stage.

"So, I'm thinking of creating a Playcolt Kittie baseball team," Vinyl said.

"Oh really?" Twilight asked, "Who's going to be on it?"

"It's funny you ask," Vinyl said, "Who's on first, what's on second, and I don't know's on third,"

"Aren't you managing the team," Twilight asked.

"Why yes I am," Vinyl stated.

"Well aren't ya gonna tell me the mares' names?"

"Yes,"

"Well who's on first?"

"Yes,"

"Who?"

"Yes!"

"Well go ahead and tell me?"

"The mare on first base,"

"Who!"

"The mare playing first,"

"Who!"

"Well what are you asking me for!" Twilight said exasperatedly.

"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you!" Vinyl said just as exasperatedly.

"You ain't telling me nothing! I'm asking you who's on first?"

"That's it!"

"Well go ahead and tell me!"

"Who!"

"The mare playing first base!"

"That's her name!"

"That's who's name?"

"Yeah!"

"Well go ahead and tell me!"

"That's the mare's name!"

"That's who's name?"

"Yeah!"

"Well go ahead and tell me!"

Vinyl sighed, "Who is on first base!"

Twilight stamped her hooves and yelled, "What are you asking me for!? I'm asking you! Who's on first?"

"That's it."

"Who's on first?

"Yes."

"No, I'm asking you, what's the mare's name on first?"

"No, no what's on second!"

The madness continued to much laughter

"Look, Skippy, they're performing for us!" Luna said to the glass.

"Yes, and it's very nice," Celestia mused, munching on something.

"What are you munching on, sister? And can Skippy have some?"

"Well it all depends on whether or not Skippy likes banana chips-"

"Skippy! No!" Luna screamed as she blasted a bolt of pure moonlight into Celestia's face.

The ensuing battle leveled the mansion and laid waste to the countryside, waging for three days and three nights. Some say that Luna was banished to the moon yet again. Others regale her tale of execution for attempted deicide. But those who were there at the end saw Celestia pin Luna to the ground and sing her a lullaby that put all those near to sleep.

Hush now, quiet now, it's time to lay your sleepy head, hush now, quiet now, it's time to go to bed...