Special Relativity

by Melon Hunter

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Lyra, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 6515

Pinkie gets a bit too carried away with finding long-lost members of the Apple family.

Pinkie Pie is on top of the world right now. Why wouldn't she be? She just found out that she's a part of the most awesome family in Equestria (well, almost definitely). However, when a chance encounter in the market leads to the discovery of another distant Apple cousin in Ponyville, she realises that everypony should have a chance to know if they're related to the best family ever!

The only problem is, 'family' has very different meanings for different ponies...

Written for the 'Pinkie Apple Pie' prompt on Equestria Daily.

Published 2014-01-15 04:40:07 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-15 04:40:07 UTC

Climbing The Family Tree

Author's Note

Another story for the EqD Writers Training Ground prompt, this week featuring Pinkie Apple Pie! The prompt was 'While helping Twilight Sparkle with her genealogical research, Pinkie discovers another surprising familial connection. Pinkie heads out to investigate.' Hope you enjoy it!

Climbing The Family Tree

“Come on, ponies,
come on ponies,
one bit app-les!

In an oft-trodden part of the Ponyville Market, the tranquility of the morning was suddenly shattered by song.

Come on, ponies,
come on, poni—oh, hi, Lyra!” Pinkie stopped her eardrum-burstingly loud song to greet her first customer.

“Uh, hi… Pinkie?” Lyra replied. She peered at the apple stall, half-frowning. “Isn’t this the Apple family’s stall?”

“Yupperony!” Pinkie leaned across the counter. “So! Need any apples? We’ve got a lot of them here!” She looked one way, then the other, before speaking in a surreptitious whisper, “Don’t tell everypony because they’ll all want one, but these apples? They’re one bit each.”

Lyra took a step back and scratched her head. “Yeah, but… this stall has always had an Apple family member behind it! What happened?” A worried look crossed her face. “Are they all ill?”

“No, silly! You’re looking at the newest Apple family member!” Pinkie struck a pose, placing a forehoof upon her chest. “Well, newest pony accepted into the Apple family. I wasn’t actually born today.” She let a huge grin appear on her face. “It was amazing! I was just looking through some of Twilight’s genealogy scrolls, when I just happened to find that I’m related to Applejack! Although the bit that said ‘Pie family’ was all smudgy, so we went on an amazing adventure to cousin Goldie Deliciouseseseseses house to find the actual family tree. That was all smudgy as well, but we just ignored that, because who cares about the little details when I’m in the most awesome family ever?!” By now, she was hopping up and down euphorically.

“Oh! That’s wonderful, Pinkie!” Lyra said. “So you have a big family in Ponyville as well as your folks back on the rock farm?” Pinkie nodded vehemently. “Wow. I’m… actually kinda jealous,” she murmured, rubbing the back of her neck.

Pinkie’s face fell slightly. “Awww… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.” She nibbled at her hoof. “I mean, it is kinda unfair. Apples get all the best family reunions, and barn dances, and free apples, and relatives all over the place and…” Her mouth slammed shut as she saw Lyra’s increasingly forlorn expression. “I’m not helping, am I?”

“It’s… it’s okay.” Lyra gave a little sigh. “I just miss my family. We’re spread all over the place, and we’re all musicians. When you can get commissioned at any time for a performance, you don’t get much time off to visit. Not to mention not much spare money to take the train… it’s pretty much just Hearth’s Warming Eve we see each other these days. In Canterlot, there’s my mom and dad, both harpists, and in Manehattan, my sister Pulled, a guitarist.”

“She pulled a guitarist? Nice! He must be a really cool stallion!”

“No, my sister is Pulled and she’s a guitarist!”

“Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to judge. I hope your sister’s very happy with her marefriend!”

Lyra sighed and held her head in her hooves. “Pinkie, I have a sister. She is called Pulled Heartstrings, she lives in Manehattan, and her career is playing a guitar,” she said slowly.

“Ohhh! Gotcha!” Pinkie nodded.

“Yup. That’s the real kicker; I haven’t seen Pulled in over a year,” Lyra muttered. “It’d be great to have some relatives ‘round here. Bon Bon’s a real sweetie, but I think I pour out all my woes to her a little too often for one pony.” She jumped as Pinkie suddenly gave a loud gasp. “What?!”

“Waitwaitwaitwaitwait.” Pinkie began rubbing her chin. “I only found out I’m part of the Apple family by picking out a random scroll… what if I went and got a bunch of other scrolls and found out about your ancestors? You might just be an Apple too! I mean, I’m helping Twilight with her research, so I can take the scrolls out whenever.”

Lyra chuckled. “While that’d be nice, Pinkie, I don’t think a random unicorn is going to be related to a family that’s nearly pure earth po—” She stopped as she realised she was talking to a cloud of dust. A moment later, Pinkie returned with an armful of scrolls, which she unrolled across the ground.

“Okay…” Pinkie stuck her snout near the ground. “Here’s the smudgy bit that probably connects the Apple and Pie families. So, where’s the Heartstringses?” She began pacing back and forth along the scrolls. “Uhhhh… Ah! Artichoke Heart the earth pony and Violin Strings the unicorn. Looks like they put their names together to make ‘Heartstrings’!”

“Seriously?” Lyra trotted over to the scroll. “Hey, you’re right! Look, their son was Tugged Heartstrings; he’s my great-grandpa. So that should mean…” She traced a hoof down the parchment. “Yeah! Here I am!” She looked up, her excited gaze meeting Pinkie’s own. “So, all we gotta do is—”

“—match up the scrolls!” Pinkie cried. The two ponies began hunkering down over the lengths of paper, calling out to each other when they found a common name or a familial connection. They moved the scrolls over to form an extended family tree, until… “Aha!”

“Found something?”

“Uh huh!” Pinkie grabbed a pencil off the stall and began tracing a faint line. She circled Lyra’s name, gradually drawing upwards along the familial lines. “Here’s the key; Apple Stew. In fact, he has a lot of unicorns descended from him. He must’ve really liked the strudel.”

“What does that mean?”

“I dunno,” Pinkie said brightly. She gradually moved across, before descending back down to increasingly Apple-esque names, until finally coming to Applejack. “There you go! According to these scrolls, you are the ninth cousin once removed of Ponyville’s very own Applejack, and my thirteenth cousin!” She beamed at Lyra and threw her forelegs around her. “Welcome to the family, cuz!”

For a moment, Lyra stood in stunned silence, before letting out a squeal of joy and returning the hug. “Thank you so much, Pinkie! I know it’s only a little thing, but it’s amazing to know we’re all connected.”

“It’s no little thing! It’s a super-duper enormous thing! You’ve just gained a whole new bunch of relatives!” Pinkie said. “Now, smile!” She held up her camera in her tail and took a snap of the pair.

“Augh!” Lyra stumbled as the flash went off. She blinked a few times to clear her vision, to see Pinkie holding her scrapbook up for inspection, with the new photograph glued firmly to the page. “Heh… Fancy that,” she said. “You know, we really should tell Applejack about this”—she turned and looked at the swiftly-growing queue behind her—“once the morning rush is over.”

“Yeah! Come around just before lunchtime; Applejack’s gonna drop by then,” Pinkie said.

Lyra nodded and pointed to the fruit in front of the stall. “On the subject of food, could I get half a dozen of these? Bon Bon wants to make some over her apple turnover candies today.” She pulled out a purse and began to count out coins, but a pink hoof cut her off.

“Nope! Don’t even think about paying; you’re family now,” Pinkie said firmly. She put six apples in a paper bag and gave them to Lyra. “Here you go, cuz! Oh, and before I forget…” She took her camera and photographed the section of the scrolls outlining the familial connection, before sliding the photo in the bag too. “There. Now you have some proof to take with you that you’re an Apple relative. Have a great day, now!”

“Oh, I will! See you around, Pinkie. Thank you so much!” Lyra skipped away, bag held in her magic.

Pinkie beamed at her new-found relative, waving farewell to her. Her actions were disturbed by a loud “Ahem!” Carrot Top scowled at her from across the counter. “Done with the special treatment?”

“What? No, of course not, silly!” Pinkie giggled.

“Seriously?” Carrot asked incredulously.

“Yup! You’re part of the Carrot family, and I’m technically an Apple. We have an arbitrary feud between my new family and yours, so no apples for you! There, special treatment for you, too!” Pinkie gently pushed the fuming Carrot Top to one side. “Next, please!”

The morning tranquility was once more broken, by a frustrated scream.

Applejack had arrived at her apple stall not long before noon to bring snacks and encouragement for her new relative before the lunchtime rush hour. The only thing was, she had only been expecting one new relative.

“So, we’ve found another long-lost cousin, right here in Ponyville?!” Applejack exclaimed. “And a unicorn, to boot?”

“You bet! Come on Lyra, don’t be shy!” Pinkie pushed her blushing cousin forward slightly.

“Pinkie, Ah know who Lyra is! She moved here years ago,” Applejack said, laughing. “Still, fancy that! Two Apple cousins, both right by where Ah live!” She gave Lyra a brief hug. “Well, welcome to the family, sugarcube! Ah’m sure you’ll fit right in.”

“Oh, I hope so,” Lyra said warmly. She beamed at Pinkie and Applejack, before her expression faltered slightly. “I mean, I probably won’t be much good at bucking apple trees, but…”

Applejack guffawed and clapped a hoof on her shoulder. “Now, don’t be silly! We ain’t gonna put you to work on the farm just ‘cos we’ve found out you're a relative. Pinkie’s only working on the stall ‘cos she asked to.” She grinned at Lyra. “But consider yourself invited to any and all Apple family events!” Her voice dropped to a conspiratorial murmur. “Next few days? We get to try out the hard cider we’ve been fermentin’ since last winter before anypony else gets their hooves on it. Sound good?”

As Lyra nodded happily, there came a loud groan from above. The three mares looked up to see Rainbow Dash sat on a cloud floating overhead. She scowled as she stuck her head over the side. “Why do you guys always have to discuss the cider when I’m around? You know how much I get wound up when I end up without any!”

“Heh, sorry Rainbow. Not intentional, Ah guarantee,” Applejack said. She grinned and nudged Lyra, winking. “But, bein’ an Apple’s got its benefits; Ah’m not ashamed to admit that!”

“Yup! We get free apples from the stall, too!” Pinkie chirped. She backed away a little as AJ frowned at her. “What? It was one time, for a new cousin!”

Applejack shrugged and said, “Well, Ah suppose it doesn’t matter too much, ‘specially for family.”

“Oh, gee. Anything else?” Rainbow said huffily. She gave a single laugh. “Next thing, you’ll be telling me you’ve got jackets!”

“Not a bad idea…” Pinkie said, rubbing her chin.

Dash gave a theatric sigh and slumped back on her cloud. “Whatever… you keep your Apple family stuff. I’ll flying around up here, enjoying my ciderlessness and all.” She poked her tongue out and took off. “See you around.”

“Ah swear, that mare’s got a problem an’ a half when it comes to cider,” Applejack said. She turned to Lyra. “Actually, why wait till drinkin’ day? How about you come over tomorrow evenin’—if you're not too busy—an’ come say hello to the other Apples over dinner? Bring Bon Bon too, if you like.” She noticed Pinkie standing on the tips of her hooves, looking fit to burst. “An’ yes, Pinkie, of course you can come too. you're family too, after all!”

Pinkie jumped up and down, giggling. “Goody! This’ll be the best family-you-didn’t-know-were-family-but-were-here-right-under-your-nose-all-along reunion ever!”

Lyra smiled broadly. “I’ll really look forward to that!” She cringed slightly as she noticed the jealous glances from some of the ponies in the market.

“Eh, don’t mind them, sugarcube. They’re just a little sore they’re not in the best family in Equestria.” Applejack chuckled. “Now, if you're all fed and watered Pinkie, Ah’ll be takin’ mah leave. Those apple trees ain’t gonna buck themselves. See you both later!” She trotted away in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres.

“Bye!” Lyra smiled, before noticing Pinkie’s downcast expression. “Hey, what’s the matter?”

Pinkie let out a loud sigh. “It’s just what Applejack said. It sounds like there’s a lot of ponies around who really wish they could be part of the Apple family.” She looked back at the scrolls on the floor. “And if I hadn’t picked up that one scroll the other day, I would have never, ever known I was related to the Apples! Then I wouldn’t have been here to tell you about it, and we’d have never found out about you being related to Applejack, either!”

“Oh. I see,” Lyra said. “Makes you wonder what other connections are hiding in those scrolls…” Her voice trailed off as she met Pinkie’s gaze. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“That ice cream sundaes should only be served on a Sunday because otherwise it doesn’t make any sense?”

“Uh…”

Pinkie gasped. “We should look for more Apple family members! They could be anywhere. Maybe that pony! Or that one!” She shook. “It could even be you! Or me!”

Lyra stared at her, jaw slack. “Pinkie, it is you and me, remember?”

“Exactly; we haven’t a moment to lose!” Pinkie stood to attention and gathered up the scrolls. “Get your genealogy hat on, Lyra. We’ve got some families to trace!”

As the sun turned red and slowly sank beneath the horizon, Applejack once more made her way to the market to pack up the stall for the day. “Hoo-ee! That was one heck of an apple harvest,” she said to herself, gait slightly hampered by her aching muscles. “Now, Ah’d better go and tell Pinkie that… that…” She trailed off as she reached the market.

The space was utterly deserted. Usually, there would be a commotion as the traders packed up and went home, but the only sound audible was the eerie whispering of the wind. Applejack shivered as a couple of pieces of loose paper blew in front of her, and a loose door banged against its frame. “...hello? Anypony?” she asked.

She walked a little further through the market. Her ears perked up as she heard the sounds of a few other ponies talking in the distance. Picking up her pace, Applejack galloped towards the distant gathering, until she came across a long line of townsfolk snaking into the Town Hall. Her eyes boggled; the queue was barely smaller than the legendary crowds who came to the Acres for fresh cider!

After a moment’s staring, Applejack shook herself and walked forward to do the only sensible thing: stand behind the pony at the back of the line. She had long known that if there was a queue this long, then there was obviously something good at the front of it; otherwise, why would everypony be waiting around for it? She scuffed her hooves against the floor, steeling herself for the long wait.

Every so often, a forlorn looking pony would walk past, causing a knot of anxiety to form in her stomach. What exactly was awaiting her in the hall? And why was there only one pony coming out for every four going in?

“Applejack?” Carrot Top walked past, following some of the other rejected ponies. “What the hay are you doing in this line?”

“Well, there must be somethin’ good at the end of it, right? Seems everypony in town’s here!” Applejack replied.

“Uh huh.” Carrot picked up one of the pieces of paper on the floor and showed it to her. It was a hastily produced leaflet, proclaiming ‘Find out if you’re a part of the most awesome family in all of Equestria! Come to the Town Hall today!’ Three apples had been drawn below the notice.

“Wh-what?” Applejack trembled slightly. “Everypony wants to see if they’re a part of the Apple family?” Her eyes narrowed. “And Ah’m especially curious as to why somepony of the Carrot family wants to know if they’re also an Apple.”

Carrot Top took a few steps back. “Well, you see, just morbid curiosity and such, y’know?” Her nervous grin faltered even more as AJ glared at her. “You know, I’ve just remembered I’ve left a thing in the place and should really go and sort that out. Bye!” She fled the scene.

The commotion had caused a couple of the other ponies in the queue to turn around. “Oh, I’m sure she just wanted some of the perks of being an Apple, just like everypony else!” one of them said.

“‘Perks’?” Applejack asked quietly.

“Uh… yeah!” The pony who had spoken began to look uncomfortable too. “I mean, you’ve always looked pretty good to be a part of, but nopony realised how much so till today! Free apples... cider tasting… exclusive jackets? Count me in!”

“I heard there’s an orchard out in the Haywaiian Islands! I can’t wait to get out there and see it!” another said. “I mean, provided I’m an Apple, that is,” she hastily added.

“Not to mention the reunions! What a party that’s gonna be! I’m so… um…” The waiting ponies all fell silent under the farmer’s baleful gaze. If looks could kill, Applejack’s would likely have breached several international treaties on weapons of mass destruction.

“Who’s behind all of this?” Applejack’s voice was naught but a deadly whisper. Each pony silently raised a hoof and pointed toward the Town Hall.

“Puh… puh… Pinkie…” one of them managed.

“Thank you real kindly,” Applejack growled. “Now, if you’d excuse me.” She barged her way past the trio and began walking to the hall. A deathly silence followed AJ along the line as pony after pony realised exactly who had just turned up. A couple of noisy protests that she was cutting in were hastily shushed by the others.

Everypony turned to look as the farmer kicked open the hall door and walked in. All around the edges of the room were rejoicing ponies, each with a photograph and scroll. Evidently, these were the ones who hadn’t come back out. To her distaste, most of them were happily comparing their documentation and chattering about ‘perks’. The rest of those in the room were in a line that meandered back and forth to the far wall. “Comin’ through!” she yelled.

The ponies parted around as she waded through, eventually reaching the front of the line. There, sat behind a table, were Pinkie and Lyra, each one examining the genealogical scrolls closely. Rolls of camera film and prepared scrolls with blank slots for details were stacked beside them, evidently for the documentation the crowds in the hall held. In front of them hovered an agitated Rainbow Dash.

“C’mon, c’mon, c’mon!” Dash begged. “It’s got to be in there somewhere! Look harder!”

Pinkie pursed her lips. “Sorry Dashie, it looks like there’s totally no link whatsoever between you and the Apple family! I’m so sorry.” She pointed at the scroll. “You’re pure Cloudsdale! On the plus side, it does look like you’re a direct female descendent of Commander Hurricane…”

“I don’t care about that! I want to be in the Apple family like the rest of you!” Dash moaned. “You even gave it to Spike!” She motioned to the little dragon, who was sat atop Twilight’s back. Both of them had certificates of Apple-ness.

“Uh huh? So?”

Rainbow facehooved. “Pinkie, he is a dragon. The last common ancestor he and the Apple family—heck, any pony ever—shared died a quarter of a billion years ago! How do I not get in if he does?!”

Pinkie gave a long sigh. “He’s the adopted brother of Twilight! And I probably don’t need to remind you that Twilight is the eighth cousin thrice removed of Applejack, again through Apple Stew.” She scratched her head. “Another unicorn! He must have really liked the strudel!”

“What does that even mean?!” Rainbow cried, echoed by two dozen other voices.

“I don’t know! It’s just written here on the scroll for some reason! ‘Strudel-lover!’” Pinkie protested. “But anyway, Spike is Twilight’s adopted brother, so he’s technically an Apple too!”

“Then just adopt me!” Rainbow turned to Lyra. “C’mon, you and Bon Bon were looking, right?”

Lyra bit her lip. “Yeah… we were. We’re adopting Tootsie Flute; y’know, the filly that’s, like, a quarter of your age, Rainbow? She waved her hoof. “Sorry ‘bout that.”

The blood drained out of the pegasus’ face. “Don’t leave me hanging!” she begged. “I don’t wanna have to go to Plan B; it’s weird and slightly legally binding and I don’t even know if it’ll work!”

“Uh… excuse me?” Applejack said weakly.

Dash turned around and gasped, her gaze sliding all around the room. Suddenly, she locked her eyes on Applejack and rushed towards her, landing heavily on the floor. “Applejack! You’d say that marrying a pony would make you part of their family, right?!”

The farmer took a step back, temporarily startled by Rainbow’s behaviour and offbeat question. “Well, Ah guess? Ah mean, mah ma was an Orange, but she was an Apple too once she married mah pa.”

“Great! Okay, here goes nothing…” Rainbow let out a long breath, slicked her mane back with a hoof, and took a small box out from between her feathers. She knelt down in front of AJ, box held up in one hoof.

“Wait, what’s g—” AJ’s eyes went as wide as they could go as the box opened to reveal a gold ring with a diamond the size of a cherry embedded in it.

“Applejack of the Apple family,” Rainbow began, staring up at her in earnest. “Would you make me the happiest mare alive… and be my wife?”

The stunned silence was broken by a few gasps, before the crowd began to stomp their hooves in applause. A goofy grin began to appear on Rainbow’s face, until—

“What?! Of course not!” Applejack cried. “Rainbow, we ain’t even datin’! What the hay?” She looked up at the amassed crowds.

“Applejack—”

Something snapped inside AJ. “ALRIGHT, JUST WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE KING OF THE PIPPINS IS GOIN’ ON HERE?!” she bellowed. She glared at Pinkie and Lyra.

“Well… well… I was just feeling really sad that so many ponies were feeling jealous about us,” Pinkie explained. “It just seems we kinda boast about our family sometimes. And then I thought about how I found out I was an Apple by accident, and that led to Lyra finding out she was one too… I just wanted to make it fair and make sure everypony got to find out if they were an Apple.” She sighed and looked at the scrolls. “Turns out there were a lot more ponies related to us than I thought.”

“Ah… Ah see.” Applejack took her hat off her head and wiped her brow. “So why in Equestria is everypony talking about perks?”

Lyra shrank back in her seat. “That… might be my fault,” she mumbled. “I repeated what Pinkie said earlier to a few ponies. I guess the rumours got out of hoof, especially when we started checking everypony’s family connections. I’m sorry.”

Applejack let out a long sigh. “S’alright,” she said. She walked forward and jumped up on the table, slamming her hoof down. “Alright, everypony, listen up! And Ah mean everypony! You lot outside, come an’ gather ‘round the door.” She waited a few moments as the crowds shuffled around to make space for all those gathered. “So, as far as Ah understand, you’re all here to see if you’re part of mah family.” They all nodded. “An’ you all wanted to get these… ‘perks’?” Again, there was a lot of nodding, but AJ noticed a few heads remaining still. “Alright, you listen real good, ‘cos Ah’m only gonna say this once.”

The ponies leaned forward slightly. “Now, Ah don’t begrudge anypony wantin’ to see if they’re part of mah family in some way. In fact, Ah’m flattered you want to find out. But this is a family. It’s mah family. And it’s filled with ponies who Ah love an’ care about. It ain’t some sorta gift-dispensin’ doo-hickey.” She stamped her hoof again, making a few of the crowd jump. “So! If you want in, then Ah’m all for it. But there’s one condition: you treat it as a two-way street. Now there might be free apples, but Ah expect a kindness or a favour in return. Y’all can visit mah slightly loopy cousin Pine Apple out in Haywaii, but you should be prepared for him to come callin’ at some point too. Maybe you’ll get to have the hard cider before anypony else, but that mean’s you might be helpin’ us pick an’ squeeze apples come the days we actually make the cider.” Applejack smiled and raised the brim of her hat. “What Ah’m tryin’ to say, is that for everything you take out, you put something back in, understand? If you’re happy to do that, then Ah’m happy to call you one of mah kin.” She twitched as she felt her tail tug slightly and turned her head back.

“Just… don’t be too harsh on the ones who heard about the perks, alright?” Lyra said quietly. “They weren’t to know.”

Applejack looked back up at the crowd. Most now wore expressions of uncertainty, biting their lips and conferring with one another. A few were even trying to slink out of the door unseen. “Hang on a second,” she called. “Ah know a lot of you were… misinformed about what bein’ an Apple really meant. Well, Ah’m not gonna hold it against you if there’s been some misleadin’. So, what Ah’m gonna do, is close mah eyes and count to ten”—she looked at the size of the crowd—“no, twenty. If you want out, you can go and nopony’ll say any more about it. And those of you who are left…” She paused for a moment, looking at them evenly. “Ah’m takin’ it that you’re genuinely in it for the long haul. Got that?” Everypony nodded. “Alright then.” She closed her eyes and began to count. “One…”

While she knew a lot of ponies had come only because they’d heard of the goodies they could receive, Applejack couldn’t believe quite how much it hurt to heard all those sets of hooves trotting away. For shame, all of you, she thought. Mah family’s the reason this town’s here in the first place, and you all just came here to take advantage of us. She struggled to keep the quaver out of her voice as the count grew higher, betrayal burning in her chest.

“...nineteen… tw-twenty…” she muttered. She opened her eyes, blinking rapidly to dispel any tears that had formed. She had been sure the only ponies left would be her friends and cousins, and yet…

“Yeah, we’re still here,” came a voice. In the centre of the hall, amongst the detritus of the earlier crowds, was a group of ponies. They didn’t number more than a dozen, and only a couple held one of the certificates. They all looked up at her hopefully.

“You stayed.” Applejack couldn’t keep the surprise out of her voice.

“Um, yeah.” Sea Swirl stepped forward. “My family never really got over me not going to work on the ocean like the rest of them. I always feel like an outsider around them…”

“My family are a bunch of Canterlot snobs. They hate me for living in this town and having an actual job,” Raindrops said with a grin. “What the hay? I can do way better than them.”

“You’ve always been good to us, Applejack. The three of us all want to give something back,” Roseluck said. Daisy and Lily, who were stood either side, both nodded.

“Since Mom and Dad passed, it’s just been Rumble and me,” Thunderlane said. “We’d love it if we had somepony else to call family again, but…” He looked down at his younger brother and shared a look of regret with him. “We’re both from Cloudsdale families, too. I think we’ll be in the same boat as Rainbow Dash…” He looked away, wings drooping.

Applejack felt something in her heart melt. “Now you stop that,” she began, trying to fit the words together properly. “Ah know what it’s like; losin’ your parents too… too soon…” She let out a heavy sigh. “And the importance of havin’ a family around you. What Ah’m tryin’ to say is”—she picked up a scroll—”Ah don’t need some dusty document to tell me you’re family. That proof’s standin’ right in front of me. Ah know that’s good enough for me, and any other Apple worth callin’ themselves an Apple.” Thunderlane’s face lit up. “An’ as for these…” She grinned and tore the scroll in half. “Nothin’ but trouble.”

A strangled cry came from across the room, and there was a loud thud as Twilight collapsed. “Nooooo! My genealogy scrolls!” she wailed. “They’re priceless!”

“Oh! Uh, sorry, Twi,” Applejack said, scratching her head and grinning sheepishly. “Ah’ll just rip that one, then.”

“Wait, you’re adopting all of us?!” Rainbow’s face was a picture of glee. “We don’t have to go through with a sham marriage for me to be an Apple?” She blushed and cleared her throat. “Obviously, I would’ve put some effort in to our union. Quite a lot, actually…”

Applejack laughed. “Yes, Rainbow, all of you. Not that you and the other girls weren’t practically part of mah family already.” She began to step towards the group of her new relatives, Pinkie bouncing forward and bundling them all into a hug. However, her ears perked up as she noticed somepony was missing. She turned around to see Lyra trying to sneak out of a back door. “Goin’ somewhere, cousin?” she asked.

Lyra turned around, eyes full of tears. “I can’t stay,” she sobbed. “This was all my fault! If I hadn’t run my mouth, I’d have never attracted everypony here. I dragged your family’s name through the mud and made it sound like a private member’s club, for Celestia’s sake!” She turned away and began to walk, head down. “I’m so sorry I let you down. But I can’t be a part of this; not when I screwed it up in the first pl—unk!” She nearly tumbled down as an impromptu lasso made of a torn scroll wrapped around her waist.

“You’re goin’ nowhere, Missy,” Applejack said, voice slightly muffled by the scroll in her mouth. She looked down and her eyes widened. “Uh… oops. Mighta torn a second scroll there, Twi.” A tiny strangled noise was the only reply.

“That’s right!” Pinkie said. “You’re family now! We forgive you!”

“Not only that, if it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t be in this family right now!” Rumble said, fluttering up to stand on his brother’s back. “This means so much; we should be thanking you, Lyra!”

“Yeah!”

“Don’t go!”

“Oh! Uh…” Lyra gave a weak smile and began to backtrack. “Well, if you insist…”

“Of course we insist, sugarcube!” Applejack said. “Now c’mere, we need one big family hug.” She looked over to Twilight, who was now being fanned by a worried Spike. “Rainbow, can you go and fetch Twi? Ah think she might be suffering from a bit of catatonia…” Dash obliged, flying over and carrying the immobilised alicorn from her resting place. She propped her up against Pinkie and the group of ponies—plus one dragon—all came in for one big group hug. “And now, it couldn’t please me more to say that from now on, you’re all Apples to the core,” she said quietly.

“Ah, gosh, you’re getting me all sappy again, AJ,” Rainbow gasped, a couple of sniffs interrupting her speech. “All of my sappiness is leaking out of my eyes…” she announced, to a wave of giggles from the others.

“You know, if you two ever actually get married, this is gonna be one heck of a story to tell at the reception!” Pinkie said cheerfully.

There was a lengthy pause, before AJ piped up, “I think it’ll be a little while before we get to that stage, Pinkie.”

The next day, late in the afternoon, the members of the Ponyville branch of the Apple family, both old and new, sat around a large table set out by the farmhouse. Applejack couldn’t help but feel her breast swell up in pride. Counting Pinkie, there had been only five Apples in total just a few days ago; now there were more than twenty! Some may say counting her six friends in that number was cheating, but even so, that was more than a dozen ponies added to her family. Rumble sat next to Apple Bloom, chattering away happily, Sea Swirl was attempting to eke an entire sentence out of the notoriously word-shy Big Mac, Thunderlane and Raindrops were competing to see who could down their mug of foaming cider the fastest, and Lyra sat smiling next to an extremely bemused Bon Bon. She smiled at the sight of them and felt a comforting touch to her shoulder.

“You did good, Applejack,” Granny Smith murmured. “Hasn’t been this lively ‘round the Acres since your ma and pa… well…” She trailed off and clenched her jaw for a moment. “Ah’m real proud of you.”

“Thanks, Granny.” Applejack rapped a hoof on the table to gain everypony’s attention. The chatter died away, and every face turned to look up at her. She raised her mug of cider. “Now, Ah’m sure Ah speak for us all when Ah say Ah never thought this day would come. It was a pleasant surprise enough to find out Pinkie was a relative”—Pinkie nodded and grinned—“let alone Lyra just a few days later. Thing is, even amongst my friends, Ah never realised there were so many ponies wantin’ some sorta family feeling. And, even if you do have relatives elsewhere, it’s always nice to have somepony close you can confide in.” She looked down and beamed at her immediate family.

“Hear, hear!” Rarity loudly proclaimed, making Fluttershy squeak. The unicorn hiccuped and blushed, raising a hoof to her mouth. “That came out louder than intended.” She narrowed her eyes and peered suspiciously at her mug, swaying all the while. “You gave me the hard cider, didn’t you…”

The table rang out with laughter. “And on that note, Ah’d like to propose a toast.” Everypony stood up on their hindlegs, raising their cider mugs into the air. “To the Ponyville Apples!”

“The Ponyville Apples!” Mugs clacked together and everypony took a gulp of cider.

“To the Apple family!”

“The Apple family!”

“And to family bein’ together!”

“Family bein’ together!” Everypony laughed as they took their final gulp and sat back down.

“And to the Captain’s shower!” Pinkie exclaimed. She downed the cider in one gigantic gulp and placed the mug upside down on her head, foamy streams of liquid leaking into her mane. She gasped, before letting out a hiccup and a huge belch. “Ooh! Excuse me!” she exclaimed.

“Fine by me, Pinkie!” Rainbow said.

“Nononononono! I meant ‘excuse me’ as in ‘excuse me, I’ve forgotten something really important and I’ll be right back with it and Lyra you’re gonna love this’,” Pinkie said quickly. Before anypony could react, she’d vaulted the table and dashed into the distance towards the main gate of Sweet Apple Acres.

“What’s gotten into her?” Roseluck asked.

“And didn’t she say I’d love it?” Lyra said. She looked around the table, only to see faces as confused as her own. Their questions were soon answered as a pink blur rushed back across the fields. Pinkie screeched to a halt in front of the table, holding up a large curtain to block whatever she’d brought with her from view. “Uh…?”

“It’s a surprise! A ‘welcome to the family’ present!” Pinkie exclaimed.

“Alright, alright, it’s some sorta family get-together, I get it! ‘Cept why am I all the way out here, and how d’you know me?!” came a voice from behind the curtain.

Lyra’s jaw dropped. “No. No, it can’t be! Can it?”

“Well, guess the game’s up!” Pinkie exclaimed. She dropped the curtain, to reveal the mare stood behind it.

She was a sky blue unicorn, with a turquoise mane and tail that were shot through with stripes of light green. On her flank was an acoustic guitar, almost identical to the actual instrument strapped across her back. Her golden eyes widened as she saw Lyra sat at the table. “Sis?!”

“It’s really you!” Lyra cried.

“Wait, what?” Applejack said. “Ah never knew you had a sister!”

Lyra bounded over the table and threw her forelegs around her sister. The two unicorns embraced tightly, both shedding tears of joy. “Oh, I’ve missed you so much, sis.”

“Me too! I can’t believe what’s happened—I just got some telegram saying we had family here? In Ponyville? I came by train, and whaddya know, your pink friend was waiting for me!”

“Heh… yeah. Well, where are my manners?” Lyra opened her embrace to one foreleg, showing her sister to the gathered ponies. “Everyone, my sister, Pulled.”

Thunderlane raised an eyebrow and grinned. “Your sister pulled? What, on the train to Ponyville?” Lyra’s and Pulled’s faces never changed as twin golden magic auras picked up an apple cupcake and smooshed it into Thunder’s face. “Hey! What gives?”

Pulled stuck her tongue out at him. “As if I haven’t heard that joke before.” She grinned at the assembled ponies. “So, I hear you’re all new relations? This is so awesome! I never knew there’d ever be anypony ‘sides Lyra out here!”

“That’s right! You’re part of the Apple family now; you’ve got relatives all over Equestria!” Apple Bloom piped up.

“Yeah! C’mon, pull up a chair and I’ll introduce you,” Lyra said.

“Alrighty!” Pulled exclaimed. “Oh, and… Apples, right?” Everypony nodded. “Yeah, I brought a little present along… ‘s probably a bit redundant in an orchard, but hey.” She pulled around a satchel hung around her shoulder and took out a greaseproof bag. Keeping it level, she transferred it to a plate and tilted, whereupon an elongated item made of flaky pastry slid out.

“Oh… uh oh.” Rainbow said.

“‘Uh oh’?” Pulled echoed.

“I think she—” Pinkie began.

“Don’t,” said AJ.

“I think she might—”

“Don’t.”

“What is it?” Pulled asked, biting her lip.

“I guess… I guess you must love the strudel.” Lyra’s straight face broke entirely, and she collapsed on the ground in fits of giggles. Not to leave a cousin hanging, Pinkie joined her, rolling on the grass and laughing heartily.

Pulled looked up in askance. “Uh… anypony?”

“You know what, sugarcube? My guess is as good as yours,” AJ said. She reached across the table and gripped Pulled’s foreleg with her ankle. “But let me just say now, from everypony here”—she looked around at the antics still going on around the table and grinned—“welcome to the Apple family.”