Smudge Conspiracy

by Silent Strider

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna
Length: 4722

Pinkie Pie and Twilight discover that many mysterious smudges are present in other genealogical registries besides the Apple family one.

Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie discover smudges covering the family ties of the same pony in different genealogical records; taking a closer look, they discover what appears to be large scale tampering with the genealogical records.

Deciding to solve the mystery Pinkie Pie travels to Canterlot, where she pairs up with Princess Luna in an attempt to solve the "Smudge Conspiracy".

Created for the Equestria Daily Writer's Training Grounds #003: "Pinkie Apple Pie".

This is the very first piece of fiction I wrote outside school assignments, and it's rushed due to the deadline to boot. I plan to edit it in due time, adding back a couple scenes I simply didn't have the time to write, but that will likely happen only in Q3 2014.

Feel free to point any flaws; it's why I took part of the Writer's Training Grounds, after all.

Published 2014-01-15 05:20:16 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-15 05:20:16 UTC

Chapter 1

Twilight was humming to herself as she put the last of her Genealogy books on her “already read” pile. With Pinkie Pie and the Apples having fun on a road-trip the library was quieter than usual for a few days, and Twilight made good use of that to finish pouring through all her genealogy books and scrolls, despite some of them not being as well preserved as they should be.

Now she just had to put away the books she had used before opening the library and-

“TWILIGHT!” came a voice from behind the book pile.

“Aaagh! -” the purple magical aura vanished, spreading books everywhere “- Pinkie, how did you get there?”

“Walking, of course. What a silly thing to ask!”

Yeah, Pinkie was just being Pinkie. Twilight started to pick the fallen books.

“And how did the trip go? Did you find what you were searching for?”

“Great! It was the best family road trip ever! After I brought back the scroll to you I got to the Sugarcube Corner to pack my things in a filly-second and I got back to Sweet Apple Acres where my new second family was ready to go and...“

“... and then cousin Goldie told that she couldn't help us, but Applejack told me that what the book says or not doesn't matter and I'm an Apple to the core!” Pinkie was smiling from ear to ear.

“Why couldn't Goldie help? Didn't she have the genealogy records?”

“Yeah, she had a big book, and it had everything just like your scroll. And that is the problem, even the smudge was on the same place! Isn't that funny?”

Wait a minute, a smudge exactly in the same place? What would be the chances of that happening? Perhaps Twilight wouldn't be re-shelving the books right now after all, but she needed some peace to do proper research...

“Pinkie, that was fantastic! Why don't you and Applejack write a journal entry about that?”

Twilight looked at the letters – or, rather, the smudge – again. It was not the only one; the smudges, tears, and inkblots looked like accidental damage, but there appeared to be some hidden pattern, something Twilight wasn't able to pierce yet.

She was not paying full attention to the research right now, though; Pinkie Pie was bound to return with the diary any moment now, and Twilight wasn't going to be caught by surprise-

KNOCK KNOCK

Twilight looked, surprised, at the door and opened it; Pinkie was outside with a wide grin.

“Pinkie! I could swear you were going to use the fireplace this time.”

“Oh silly, I would never use the fireplace. I don't want our book to get dirty.“ Pinkie raised the journal for emphasis.

“But you stash eyepatches and... Never mind, that isn't important.”

“Ooh, does that mean there is something important happening?”

Twilight laughed at that. “In a manner of speaking, yes. Remember that smudge?”

“Of course, it's why I'm holding our journal! Want to read what we wrote?”

“I sure will, just not now. I found a lot of other illegible names; smudges, ink blots, and other similar damage that shouldn't ever happen in well kept records like the ones we have in the library. Almost seems like somepony was doing this on purpose, but that would be impossible.”

“You mean, like a super-spy? I always wanted to meet one of those! Do you think we can catch him?” As she finished speaking Pinkie started hopping around excitedly.

Twilight was unsure if she should facehoof or laugh at that, but a loot at Pinkie's excited face brought laughter to the fore. At the same time she started to consider the idea of finding who did this, or at least why; after her research it was obvious that the damage was too consistent to have been just chance, but at the same time it was too chaotic to see a clearer pattern. But then, Pinkie was the perfect pony to see patterns in the chaos...

“Pinkie, do you want to help me catch your 'super-spy'?”

Twilight had to admit that, when looking for patterns in what seemed to be random data, Pinkie was more efficient than her; she seemed to have a sixth sense for out of place things. After a couple false starts – including Pinkie's hoofwritting being illegible when she became excited, which led to Twilight assigning Spike to take notes for her – they were making short work of all the genealogy texts of the library, Pinkie finding the connections and Twilight double-checking everything.

“Here's another! Rarity's great great great uncle came from Vanhoover, but there is an ink blot over his family name!”

“Rarity's great great great uncle, check!” said Spike proudly.

It was also fun! Twilight loved research, of course, but doing research with friends – and seeing friends have so much fun while doing research – made it all so much better! She had to remember to invite Pinkie Pie if she ever got back to genealogy research.

By the end of the day they had compiled a list of all mangled records, and Twilight started getting concerned. The records for many Ponyville families, including her own friend's families, had been tampered with; any connection with families from outside Ponyville, as well as many seemingly random records, were made illegible.

Worse, redundant records had been tampered in the same places, so this was certainly intentional.

But who would have even been able to tamper the records this way, going as far as to tamper with Goldie's records? And why? What was the connection between those families?

“Sorry, Pinkie. I'm now sure your super-spy exists, but I'm afraid with just what we have here in the library we won't be able to discover his identity. I'll send a letter to the princesses to see if they know anything about this tampering. I already have a visit to the Royal Archive scheduled for tomorrow, so perhaps I can just grab a few more genealogy records and we can start again the day after...”

Twilight looked to where Pinkie Pie was a couple seconds before, seeing only a pony shaped dust cloud dissipate. She facehoofed as she realized what Pinkie was likely to do next.

“Spike, come quick, I have an urgent letter to the princess. Dear Celestia, I'm afraid I have unleashed Pinkie Pie on Canterlot...”

Luna was walking back to her royal bedroom after a looong meeting and a short lunch. Celestia had rescheduled everything she could before hurrying to Los Pegasus to help with the relief efforts, but some of her work couldn't be postponed. Luna was glad to help, but why did it have to be so boring?

As she was passing a window she caught a glimpse of guards running outside, searching everywhere a pony could fit. She could also hear armored hoofsteps inside the palace. Was a palace search drill scheduled for today?

Still thinking about the drill, Luna entered her large bedroom and enjoyed the familiar surrounding. Her comfy bed, large bookcase, a breeze coming from the open window...

Open window? She was sure she had closed the window before leaving for the meeting-

Something large and dark dropped from the ceiling. Thankfully Luna had practiced for this ever since the failed changeling invasion; in a smooth, well practiced move, she closed the window and the door with her magic as she caught the shape and pressed it against the wall. Whatever it was, it had nowhere to flee.

Keeping the shape pinned to the wall with her magic the princess took a step back to get a better look. It seemed to be a pony in a black jumpsuit and a ski mask, with a set of brass goggles covering it's eyes. It was a she, apparently, judging by the muzzle shape, and she seemed harmless, not having made any threatening move since being pinned.

Curiosity flaring up, Luna carefully removed the goggles and the mask of the intruder with her magic, revealing pink fur and mane.

“Hi, Princess!”

“What? How?”

Luna's features went through shock and confusion, settling in a mischievous, almost malicious grin. Eyes glimmering, she locked her gaze on the pink pony's eyes, let her mane and tail float free, and allowed a hint of the royal canterlot voice as she spoke.

“SO, THE PONY WHO THOUGHT SHE COULD LED THE CHILDREN AWAY FROM US DAREST ENTER OUR LAIR? PERHAPS WE SHOULD GOBBLE THOU WHOLE WHERE THOU STANDEST?”

Caramel Shield wasn't having a good day. No one in the guard was; just after the guard change somepony climbed the palace wall and, despite the guard's best efforts, got inside the castle to then vanish in thin air, all of that while Princess Luna held a meeting with important dignitaries from the surrounding towns and cities. Somepony wearing a black jumpsuit in the middle of the day, for Celestia's sake! Even if they weren't punished for such glaring failure, they would be the constantly teased about this for months at least.

Just as he thought the day couldn't get any worse a blood-chilling scream came from the nearby royal quarters.

The guard skidded to a stop at the entrance of the Royal Quarters. As he scanned around for any disturbance he heard some muffled sounds coming from Luna's room. He approached carefully, wondering how he could even fight somepony that had dared enter Luna's room. As he was almost touching the door, he stopped to listen; it almost sounded like... laughter?

Summoning his courage the guard knocked on Luna's door. “Your highness, pardon the intrusion, but is everything all right? I heard a scream coming from your room, and since there is an intruder in the castle-”

“Everything is fine, I'm just entertaining a visitor and she saw something scary in my room. Just a second, I will open the door.”

As the door opened the guard saw the perfectly composed Princess Luna standing in front of the door, while a pink pony was literally rolling on the floor with laughter. Princess Luna shot the guard a knowing glance.

“Is the intruder you are searching for a mare in a black jumpsuit and brass goggles?”

The guard was visibly shaken. “Y-yes, your highness. She was last seen entering the castle, but we lost track of her.”

“You may stop the search; there is no black clad pony on the castle grounds anymore. Your intruder is a great friend of mine that helped test the guard's readiness. I shall review the results of the training exercise in the evening.”

“As you wish!”, answered the caramel-colored guard as he trotted away, glad that he could stop that fruitless search.

Closing the door, Luna looked back to the pink pony, who was still laughing but was at least able to stand now.

“Pinkie! What a surprise! I hope I didn't scare you too much.”

Pinkie took a moment to catch her breath before answering. “Don't be silly, it was the funniest scare in my whole life! Can we do it again?”

“Not now, I'm afraid, or else I fear the guard might bring down my bedroom's door thinking I'm being attacked.” A bit of sincere glee spread across Luna's smile. “But I promise you I will have something even better for next Nightmare Night.”

At the mention of the guard Pinkie made a smug face and said in a joking tone: “You bad princess, you lied to that guard!”

“How dare you, every word I said was true!” said the princess in obviously fake indignation.

Now it was Pinkie that went from shock, to confusion, to the widest grin the princess ever saw on the pink pony's face. “Everything? Even the great friend part?”

“Of course, why would I lie about it? But now you have to tell me everything about how you foaled every...”

This time, for all her training, the princess wasn't able to dodge the pink missile that latched to her in a fierce hug.

And, as Luna realized how much she was enjoying Pinkie's company, she was in ho hurry to break the hug.

“... that was when I realized Celestia wasn't in the castle, so I grappled to your window with my hookshot when nopony was looking, opened it, and hid in your ceiling. The rest you already know.”

“Unbelievable. To think you could bypass all castle defenses with just a few gadgets and a cardboard box, even though you were clad in black.”

“What is the deal with black? I heard some guards snickering about it.”

“Pinkie, dark garb can hide you in the dark, but in the day it makes you stand even more.”

“But that is what spies use! And if not black, what should I use, white?”

“White would actually work better, but we can talk about it later. Now, why are you here, and why were you waiting for me in my room?”

Pinkie scanned the room, as if looking for eavesdroppers, before continuing in a whisper.

“I'm going to unmask the smudge conspiracy.”

“The what?”

As if on cue two scrolls appeared before the princess with a soft pop, both bearing Celestia's seal. The larger one also had Twilight's seal, though broken, indicating that the scroll had already been read.

“Just a moment, I must see what my sister wants.”

Opening the smallest scroll, Luna began reading:

Dear sister,

Our fellow princess Twilight brings something to my attention that deserves immediate action. I apologize for being cryptic, but I must wait until we meet in person before I can say what I know about the subject; undue exposition could bring lasting harm to our kingdom. Twilight's letter should have all the information you need for the time being, but I plead you, don't act in haste and don't let anyone else find about this. And say Hi to Pinkie for me.

“Celestia says Hi,” said Luna as she unrolled the scroll that had Twilight's seal as well as her sister's.

Dear Celestia,

I'm afraid I've unleashed Pinkie Pie on Canterlot. Don't be surprised if she shows unexpected on the castle, perhaps even on your personal quarters; I fear I impressed on her that she must ask either you or Luna, or else invade the Royal Archives, to solve a mystery we are investigating.

Luna stole a glance at Pinkie. She sure could do unexpected.

I also believe the mystery itself merits your attention. We found an intriguing pattern of tampering with genealogical records, one that can't be coincidence. It's as if somepony is attempting to hide the relationship between a large number of families, including the families of the other five previous bearers of the Elements of Harmony, but we have yet to find who did this, why, or even the connection between those families. I've attached the results of our research to this letter.

P.S. Did I get the degree of formality right? You told me to not call you “highness” or “princess”, but it still doesn't feel right to me.

Luna went through the attached research next; a couple family names made illegible on each family tree, something so minor it almost looked like just a prank, but the effort whoever did that went through was certainly troubling. For somepony to go through that much effort, there was certainly a corresponding prize to be had.

Pointing a hoof at the research results she held with her magic, Luna asked: “Pinkie, is this what you are here about?”

“Of course!” Pinkie almost touched her muzzle to Luna's ears and whispered “The Smudge Conspiracy, using smudges to erase the family story of ponies! We have to catch them!”

Luna didn't share all of Pinkie's enthusiasm, but she agreed that the topic deserved a closer look. The problem was that her sister had pleaded for secrecy and caution; she couldn't just stroll into the Archives dragging along the previous element of laughter. Unless...

“Pinkie, do you want to know how spies work in the day?”

A pair of earth ponies, one rose with cerulean mane and the other cerulean with rose mane, strolled through the palace complex chatting enthusiastically.

“And this is how you do it, Pinkie. Just try to look like everyone else and walk around as if you belong. And yes, that means no skipping, hopping, or jumping, unless the pony you are disguised as would do those things.”

“Ooh, I see. And the magical disguises are sure handy. But if it's so simple, why was everypony in the Crystal Empire looking at me in funny ways when I was disguised?”

“And who were you disguised as?”

“Fluttershy.”

“That is why. Fluttershy is not a crystal pony, so she was a stranger there. And you would be better not disguising yourself as a pegasus; a pegasus that can't fly draws attention anywhere.”

“Hey, is that the Archive?” Pinkie was pointing at a large building that resembled a library, and almost vibrating in her effort to not start hopping around.

“Yes. But let me do the talking; while your idea of disguising ourselves as twins will help, I know the rules of the archive better.”

“Okie dokie Loki!”

Luna was impressed with Pinkie Pie, even more than when she found Pinkie waiting in her usually well guarded bedroom. The pink pony could find a needle in a haystack – or, in this case, a smudge in a room full of genealogical records – as easily as one could find the moon on the night sky.

The duo had already found a huge amount of evidence to prove the tampering, and even started to put together a coherent pattern, when they heard a familiar voice.

“Not Aloe and Lotus, I presume, since Rarity is going for her spa”

“TWI -” remembering where she was, Pinkie lowered her voice and stopped mid-pounce “- Twilight!”

“And what are you doing here, Twilight?”

“Celestia sent me a message; she asked me to come to Canterlot and meet you two. When I couldn't find you on the palace, I suspected you would be here.”

“Hey, Twilight, why aren't you disguised? I thought Celestia told us to be furtive as spies!”

Luna sighed. “Pinkie exaggerates, but she does have a point. Why are you openly here, Twilight?”

“Well, my genealogy research was no secret, and I had scheduled a visit for tomorrow to pick more material anyway; I just told the clerks that I wouldn't be able to come tomorrow. I also used a spell to prevent any sound from reaching the outside, but I do think you two should keep your disguises anyway. Have you found anything more?”

“Yes, and it is alarming. The genealogical records of many other families have been altered, including your own. And I believe I can see the pattern now; the tampered families are those of ponies important for the stability of the country.”

“You mean, important ponies like mayors, captains, and other ponies like that?”

“No, silly, those are the ponies that think of themselves as important. We are talking about the really important ponies here, like Fluttershy with how she keeps every animal in Ponyville happy!”

“Pinkie is blunt, but she is right. We are talking about ponies that are important because of what they are, not those that are just important because of their political power. Your own family records have been manipulated. But there is one glaring omission: no noble families have been tampered with. I fear this might either be a ploy by the nobles, or against them; we should let Celestia know immediately.”

“No such need; I already know. It was done by my hoof, after all.”

The new speaker looked like a small white pegasus with a pink mane and a smiling sun for her cutie mark, but the voice was obviously Celestia's.

Pinkie's face showed deep confusion as she started speaking. “Wait a minute, you are the super-spy behind the mysterious smudge conspiracy?”

“Tia! I thought you wouldn't be back for a few days yet! And what do you mean, it was your deed?”

“It has been a secret for a thousand years, but perhaps I should now share it with all alicorns; I will personally tell Cadance later, but no one else can know. Now, how about we discuss this over tea and biscuits, somewhere where we don't need disguises?”

“Hey, what about me? I want to know why you are the smudge conspiracy too!” Pinkie's puppy face was almost credible, if not for her overexcited smile.

“While you already know more than you should, perhaps it would be unfair to leave you out. How about this, Pinkie; you pinkie promise to never tell anypony else about this, and what we will speak about next, and you can join in our conversation?”

“You know about my pinkie promises?”

Celestia's chuckle had a musical quality. “Of course I do, Twilight told me all about then. What do you say?”

“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye! Now let's go prepare an alicorn-party-with-tea-and-biscuits!”

The four ponies were sitting alone in a small, private kitchen the princesses used when they didn't want to bother the servants. It was cozy, and now also the most eavesdropping-proof room of the castle, thanks to a barrage of spells woven by the three princesses.

It was also far more festive than anywhere in the castle, thanks to the small cache of balloons and streamers Pinkie always have with her.

“... and that was when Pinkie suggested we disguise ourselves as Aloe and Lotus; she thought pink fur would suit her and blue would suit me. Of course, having sisters together checking the genealogical records raises less suspicion, so it also helped in other ways. We made our way to the Archive without incident and started our research, and that was where you found us.”

“Oh, I would love to have seen the face of the guard when you told him about the intruder!”

“Yes, he was so shocked he stammered in front of the princess! It sent me back to the ground laughing!”

“You can see him still, Tia. I have scheduled a debriefing with the guard about the intruder incident in a couple hours. I'm curious how they will react when I tell how the whole guard was beaten by a cardboard box; it should be the most entertaining guard debriefing in my whole life!”

Twilight smiled. She already knew the sister princess to be easygoing when they could drop their formal facade, but Pinkie's influence certainly managed to keep them more relaxed than usual. Doing anything with her felt like a party, and Luna seemed to be enjoying this the most.

But there were serious matters to be discussed yet, and while Twilight and Luna trusted Celestia, the earlier they could lay their doubts to rest, the better.

“Celestia, isn't it time to explain the tampering we found? And what did you mean when you told us it was done by your own hoof?”

“You are right, Twilight. It has to do with an obscure branch of dark magic called blood magic.”

“Blood magic? You mean, hurting other ponies and doing magic on the blood? That is creepy!”

“It's blood as in blood ties and genealogy, Pinkie Pie; not as creepy, but certainly more dangerous.”

“Is that when magic is cast on one pony to hurt a parent? I thought that was just old mare's tales. And wouldn't that be incredible inefficient, dispersing the harm across the whole family?”

“You would be right, Twilight. If somepony were to ponynap, let's say, your father and use blood magic on him, the blood magic would harm your whole family and anypony else that shares a blood bond with them, but the harm to each individual pony would be no greater than a slight headache. But there is a way to concentrate the results on one pony...”

“Oh, I see, I see! The evil pony could cast the spell on every other family member and it all would go for the pony that was left out! But ponynapping a whole family to harm one pony would be silly, so instead the evil pony can ponynap ponies that have a blood bond with the target but not with each other and cast the spell on all of them at the same time so only the target is harmed. But who would be evil enough to do this, it makes me angry just thinking about it!”

Twilight had seen Celestia surprised so few times she could count them on her hooves, and Luna even less; both at the same time, and so surprised they even forgot to close their mouths, would be a first. Twilight didn't get to appreciate the scene, though, because at the moment she also sat slack-jawed looking at Pinkie.

“What? It's obvious!”

Celestia was the first to recover, going back to her usual peaceful. “You never cease to amaze us, Pinkie Pie. Yes, that is why I tamper with the genealogical registers; without being sure which families are connected, your evil pony has no way to work this kind of magic with any certainty.”

She shifted to a penetrating stare. “But the greater secret is not the tampering, but the existence of spells that work the way you described, Pinkie. I expect you to never speak of that possibility, no matter how obvious it might be.”

“Okie doki Loki!”

Luna glanced from Pinkie to Celestia as a question formed in her mind. “But why not do the same for the nobles, sister?”

“For two reasons. You certainly know how fussy the nobles get with knowing their lineage, so pulling this trick with them is not feasible. Besides, most noble families are prepared to defend their own members.”

“And I guess you do this just for important ponies for a similar reason; if you did that for everypony, it would have been noticed far earlier. But why didn't you tell me, Tia?”

“I never had the chance; I would share this with you the next time I used my magic to... smudge, as Pinkie Pie would say... a record, but I haven't done so since before your return.”

“Hey, princess, if it was you that smudged it, can you tell me if Applejack's great great auntie Applesauce is a fourth cousin twice removed of the Pie family?”

“Sorry, Pinkie, I can't. All alicorns can use dark magic, and I'm no exception. When I lost Luna a thousand years ago I realized that it could just as easily have been me, and thinking what I could do with this magic if I became evil gave me nightmares of my own; thus, when I erase a family name from the records, I also erase my own memory of it.”

At those words Pinkie shifted between sadness, happiness, and finally settled on sadness.

“Pinkie, what is the problem? Back in the library you said yourself that, no matter what a book says, you are an apple to the core.”

“I know. I'm not sad about that, really. It's just that I remembered that I can never tell anyone about the alicorn-party-with-tea-and-biscuits we are having.”

As Twilight opened her mouth to encourage Pinkie she heard Luna's voice.

“Tia, can't we fit another party next week? It isn't fair for Pinkie Pie to never be able to speak of her alicorn party. Pinkie could even invite her friends.”

“We might be able, but as I recall my schedule is full. Perhaps if you could take over a few of my meetings we might be able to free an afternoon for the party.”

At the very mention of meetings, Luna's expression became irritated. “Aaahgh, those boring...” her face changed to something else. Longing? “well, if it's to make up to Pinkie for never telling about this party, I guess I could take a few meetings. But do try to find some less boring ones!”

Twilight glanced again at Luna; despite her words, she seemed to be beaming at the prospect of another fun-filled afternoon. Celestia had noticed too, and former student and teacher shared a knowing wink before getting back to the impromptu alicorn party.