Free Fall is a Free-For-All
My name is Scootaloo, and I have my cutie mark.
Adults teach me to be thankful for good things, and I can safely say that I’m glad the story of how I got it is way more awesome than some namby-pamby fluff piece about finding myself and all that other stuff nopony cares about.
That said, though, my story is a little crazy, and looking back, it’s not my proudest moment. When I got my cutie mark, I didn’t have a sense of pride and accomplishment for what I had achieved... at least not at first.
What was mainly going through my head at the moment it happened was, "Oh, crap! Oh, Luna! I'm gonna die!"
Okay, okay, fine. I'll back up a bit.
You see, a while ago, Apple Bloom finally got her cutie mark. I guess she can fix a broken cart like nopony's business. Go figure.
Sweetie Belle and I were totally psyched for her, of course. I mean, Bloom getting her cutie mark had to mean Sweetie and I would get ours. Common sense, you know?
So we waited a little bit, and eventually, Sweetie Belle finally got her cutie mark. Bloom and I were actually there to see it go down. Heck, we were pretty much the whole reason it happened.
We were at Sugarcube Corner and Pinkie was throwing a karaoke shindig. Bloom and I knew for a fact that Sweetie didn't like to sing in front of others... so we decided to screw with her and put her name on the signup list behind her back, like any good friend would.
So yeah, Sweetie wasn't too keen on the idea of singing in front of a bunch of ponies on stage. We had to drag her on stage--and I mean this literally; the girl physically refused to move her hooves. Eventually, though, I calmed her down and told her I'd cheer her on really hard, which did the trick, I guess, because she got on stage and sang her heart out. It was a song I had never heard of, too; some track about a girl who wants to fly, so this guy gives her his wings.
I think that's supposed to be a metaphor or something, but I'm not an English teacher. Also, if it is, that just makes the song a lot more corny. I think a song about a guy who actually cuts off his wings to impress a girl would be a lot cooler.
Eh, it doesn't matter. Sweetie made it work. Besides, it was a real relief to get someone up there on stage other than some grown-up belching out "Believing is a Thing I Would Advise Against Stopping."
Naturally, Sweetie dazzled the crap outta the crowd, myself included. While she was going, she and I made eye-to-eye, and I gave her a grin and a nod, and she bounced into another stride. Girl was jumping around and dancing--it was awesome.
But I'm rambling, here. I'll get to the point. Right as she finished her song, and the crowd was cheering her name, Sweetie's flank became the center of attention as it shined for all to see. Also, her cutie mark finally appeared (ba-dum-tsh). Sparkling on her body was a shiny microphone with a bunch of musical mumbo jumbo circling around it.
Now, Bloom and I got really excited. We were the first the climb to the stage, and I was the first to tackle-hug Sweetie. I had her pinned down, and she was having trouble breathing, but hey, do you think her mere lack of circulation of air was going to stop me? Heck no.
Okay, I eventually got off of her, but it's not like she cared. The three of us were too busy grinning and hugging it out to care about anything at that moment. With Sweetie getting her mark, the karaoke party became a cutecinara in no time. It's funny, because I thought those were just something Diamond Tiara made up to feel important, but nope, real thing. Go figure.
I gave Sweetie a ride home on the scooter. She had to ride holding onto me since I didn't have the seat attachment that day, but she didn't seem to care. I wasn't even really driving it that fast, but she seemed pretty insistent on holding onto me pretty tight around my chest.
Sweetie can be a real wimp, but you gotta love her.
Once we got to her place, I walked her to her door and I decided to apologize for putting her on the spot by putting her name on the signup list, but she just waved it off and actually thanking me for giving her that push to find her special talent.
So yeah, I'm pretty awesome.
We hugged it out, and I rode away happy for my best friend and even happier knowing that logically, I was gonna get my cutie mark soon.
It didn't happen.
Weeks went by, and no cutie mark was coming. I was the last foal in school to not have one, and man oh man, did it suck; and not just for myself. You can imagine how bad it was for Bloom and Sweetie still being friends with a blank flank. We didn't exactly have that solidarity crap that united us when all three were crusaders. We were now the "Cutie Mark Crusaded feat. Scootaloo." I even pointed this out one day at lunch...
"The 'Cutie Mark Crusaded feat. Scootaloo'?" Sweetie Belle asked.
I nodded, slamming my head against the picnic table.
Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. "Don'tcha think yer a mite overreactin’. We’re still yer friends, Scoots.”
"Oh sure, you say this now, but soon enough, you'll be too embarrassed to be seen with me."
Sweetie put a hoof on my shoulder. "Look, Scootaloo. There’s nothing that will stop us from being your friends. Especially not some dumb bullies like Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.”
I frowned. “You’ll see. Soon enough, you two won’t stand to be near me! I’m a hopeless blank flank!”
Sweetie took her hoof off and slumped her shoulders. Meanwhile, Apple Bloom cleared her throat and stared at me with an annoyed look on her face. “...Are we seriously doin’ this again?”
Confused, I raised an eyebrow. “Huh?”
“Is this another one’a those times when you git all mopey ‘cause you think you’re worthless and stuff? Seriously, ya’ve done this with Rainbow Dash, and ya did it with that whole business about the flag carryin’ and yer flyin’. This is gettin’ old, Scoots. Stop feelin’ sorry for yourself about all this stupid stuff. You ain’t a dang martyr.”
Was she serious? I rose up in my seat. “What are you, a thesaurus?”
“No. I’m someone who’s tellin’ it like it is. Yer actin’ like a one-mare pity party, and I’m sick of it!”
Oh, heck naw! She was going too far. I jumped on that picnic table and darted right into her face. “How dare you? You’re not the one who has to deal with the everlasting shame of not having a cutie mark! What gives you the right?”
“The fact that you’ve been moping about this crap for too damn long!”
Sweetie got up and tried to pry us apart, but her forelegs are rather weak. “Scoots, Apple Bloom! Stop! Look, Apple Bloom, I know Scoots might be acting a little dramatic, but we don’t have to come down on her so hard.”
Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Oh, what a shock, Sweetie, yer rushin’ to the aid of your poor little Scoots. Cry me a river.”
I swatted away Sweetie’s hoof, still glaring at Bloom. “Oh, I’ll stop, Sweetie. As soon as Apple Bloom over here stops acting like she’s never had a state of crisis and dread!”
“Say what?”
I smirked. I had her now. “Oh, don’t act like that, Apple Bloom. How many times have you freaked out over nothing leaving me and Sweetie to have to snap you back? Heck, you’ve gone through”
Bloom narrowed her eyes. “Oh, so you’re gonna play it like that, huh?”
I grinned wider. “Yeah. And?”
As it turned out, Apple Bloom had quite the right hook. It sent me flying off the table. I was in horrible shock and pain, yeah, but darn, I was impressed.
So after Apple Bloom stormed off, Sweetie Belle rushed me back to her place to tend to my wounds. It’s like she had never seen her best friends come to blows with one of them decking the other in the face.
...Well, okay, to be fair, it did hurt like no tomorrow, but Bloom didn’t do any permanent damage; she just gave me a bruise under my eye. What made it worth the pain was that it looked so cool! When we got into the bathroom at Sweetie’s house, the first thing I did was admire myself in the mirror. Seriously, with a bruise like that, I could say I got it in a fight with some thugs who were trying to assassinate the princess. Who would dispute this face?
Of course, Sweetie Belle decided to be a spoilsport, raining down on my parade as she leaned up into the medicine cabinet over the sink looking for supplies while I sat on the toilet to the right of it, admiring my bright, beautiful bruise.
“You look terrible! I can’t believe Apple Bloom did that to you!”
“Do you ever notice that your voice squeaks, like, a lot?”
Sweetie fake-huffed, trying to hold back her giggle as she dabbed my wound with a wet cotton ball. I would have swatted her foreleg away, but she already seemed mad, so I didn’t want to step on eggshells.
“Look, Sweetie, maybe it’s possible that I kinda sorta had that coming... perhaps... possibly... theoretical–”
Sweetie placed her hoof on my mouth and grinned. “What are you, a dictionary?”
I smiled on her hoof. “I can see that I’ve taught you well.”
Sweetie giggled and blushed a little. She’s excitable like that. However, it didn’t last, as she got back into serious-mode and looked at me like my mom was about to give me a lecture... which reminded me of how I was gonna explain the bruise to mom.
Assassin thugs. She’ll believe it.
“Scootaloo, I wish you took things more seriously.”
Okay, this was confusing. “What’re you talking about, Sweetie? Did you not just see me pour my heart and soul out to you and Apple Bloom about the pain that is not having a cutie mark? Do you have a listening problem?”
Sweetie groaned and rolled her eyes. “I heard you loud and clear, and I don’t know why you’re not concerned about the fact that your best friend just punched you really hard in the face!”
Was she serious? I pointed to my face for emphasis. “Because this scar looks totally badass!” Honestly, it was like I was talking to a stupid kid or something.
Sweetie just arched an eyebrow. “I think you might have your priorities mixed.”
I shook my head. “I know what my first priority is, Sweetie: getting my cutie mark!” I hopped off of the toilet seat and gently pushed Sweetie aside. “I gotta go find my scooter and get back into gear!”
“Wait!”
Just as I was on my way out the door, Sweetie’s squeaky voice stopped me. I turned around and saw her standing slightly slouched. She kinda looked sad, actually.
“I want you to promise me something, Scootaloo.” Her voice was pretty quiet. That serious-mode I was talking about earlier? It didn’t hold a candle to this.
Still, though, I was pretty confused, but I rolled with it. “Uh... okay?”
“Please don’t get yourself hurt.”
“Sweetie, with crusading, there’s always a danger that comes to it. Need I remind you of our saga with the hornet’s nest?”
Sweetie shivered, as she should. I often wake up at night spazzing out because I think hornets are swarming on me. Cutie Mark Crusader Entomologists Yay, we were not. She shook her head and placed a hoof on my shoulder. “This is different, Scoots. I’m worried about you. You seem more and more desperate about getting your cutie mark, and it’s clouding your mind and your judgement.”
I huffed. “Sweetie, I know you don’t remember what it’s to not have a cutie mark—”
“You mean a month ago?”
“Oh, whatever! The point is, you don’t have to deal with the frustration and desperation that comes with being the last in your class without a cutie mark!”
Sweetie began to glower. “How many times am I going to hear that?”
“Huh?”
“I think Apple Bloom was right. You have become a pity party! You just sit around all day moaning and groaning about how sucky it is to not have a cutie mark. Well, you know what? Fine. Go do whatever you want to get a cutie mark! Try getting one in jumping off buildings for all I care!”
My mouth just popped open as my eye twitched. “Sweetie, I...”
“Just go.” She was completely dead serious, even if she sniffled a bit.
I wasn’t going to fight her, so I slowly turned away and walked out of the bathroom and out of her house.
When I stepped outside, I was completely and utterly alone at that moment. In the course of an hour, I managed to scare off not one, but two of my best friends.
And despite the fact that Apple Bloom legit decked me in the face, it seemed to hurt more to know that now, not even Sweetie was in my corner?
What was it with her? We’d been friends for a really long time, and yet, she still seemed as chipper around me as the day we met. It didn’t matter how bad a day I was having, but she was still her same old self, and that lifted my spirits. I hate to play favorites when it comes to my friends, but Sweetie was definitely my best friend... was being the keyword at the time.
Because as I was riding away from that house and into town, I was a friendless fool: the last of the Cutie Mark Crusaders who didn’t even have the Crusaded to give their support.
That was my lowest point... at least until I ran into pure Hell.
“Why the long face, Scootaloser?!”
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Oh me, oh my, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.
What can be said about these two... I mean, other than that they suck and everybody hates them, because those are just facts. I really was not in the mood for this crap, and yet...
“What do you want, guys?” They started circling around me. Like vultures, like sharks, take your pick.
Silver Spoon started. “Why so down in the dumps, blank flank? Feeling bad about being the only blank flank left?”
Diamond Tiara added, “Have your two idiot friends abandon you now? You know you have it bad when even Queen Bumpkin and that little groupie of yours don’t want to be seen with you.”
Darnit, they were half-right. I hate when that happens. Still, I tried to save face.
“Look, I don’t have time to deal with you guys right now. Outta my way.”
“Oooh, somepony’s a little defensive.” Diamond Tiara got right in my face. “What’s the matter, Scootalame? Have a fight with your girlfriend?”
“Maybe she drifted to Apple Bloom like the airhead she is.”
I had no idea who this mystery mare was, and frankly I didn’t care. At this point, I was no longer depressed, but I sure as heck was annoyed and angry. I had to get out of there, so I revved up my scooter and darted past DT and Spoon, hoping to be done with them for the day... but oh no, Diamond Tiara just had to go and shout out,
“Hey, Scootaloo! Nice bruise... NOT!”
Not? NOT?!
How DARE she? How dare she stoop to such a low blow as ‘not’? There’s no way to fire back at that.
There was no other option. I had to turn around and tell them like it was... and also lie through my teeth about how I got the bruise.
When I got back, I hopped off my scooter and looked Diamond Tiara straight in the eye.
“Got something to say about this bruise, you say it to my face.”
“What? You want to hear more?” She smirked that stupid, smug grin of hers. “Okay, then. So how’d you get it? Walk into a door before trying to open it?”
“She would do that.”
“Or hey, maybe you just did it to yourself to feel something other than stupid.”
“And yet, she still couldn’t stop that!”
Okay. It was time to let them have it... what was the lie I was gonna use?
Oh, cripes, I forgot! Darnit, Scootaloo, you had one job!
I panicked, trying to come up with a brand new lie on the spot. My memory jogged. Everything that had happened that day was racing through me. What... what–
Try getting one in jumping off buildings for all I care!
Good enough! I had to roll with it!
I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “I’ll have you two know that I got this working on an awesome stunt. I’m working on getting my cutie mark in jumping buildings.”
The two raised their eyebrows. “Huh?”
I smirked. “Uh-huh. I’m getting real close. Just yesterday, I was in Canterlot, and I jumped off the roof of the castle and landed on a trampoline that bounced me all the way to a trampoline factory.”
They didn’t buy it. Not for a second.
“We don’t buy it, loser. Not for a second.”
Yeah, that. Still, I persisted, because there was no way I was gonna let Diamond freaking Tiara and Silver freaking Spoon have the last freaking laugh.
I really love the word ‘freaking’. It rolls of the tongue good.
“You’re obviously lying, you little liar.”
I had them now. “How can you say that, when you can’t prove it?”
“Oh, we can prove it. We want to see you jump a building.”
Uh-oh. These two were more clever than I had expected. Thankfully, I still had an ace up my sleeve... assuming I actually wore shirts with sleeves, or shirts, in general. Mom always says I look cute in sweaters, which is probably why I never wear them–but anyway, I was still able to save face, telling them, “Hah! Fat chance. I would need a really tall building to jump off of, and Ponyville isn’t exactly the Crystal Empire. There’s no way I could make an awesome jump on just any of these houses and stuff.”
“Well what about the incredibly tall corporate office on the outskirts of town that my daddy just erected last week?”
My body jolted instantly. I looked to where Diamond Tiara was pointing, and there I saw, in the distance, piercing the sky, a giant, modern skyscraper with a giant F and R at the top.
Well... neat.
Rainbow Dash likes to tell me that it’s better to die before growing old. Of course, I don’t think she meant when you’re about to hit puberty as a good place to go. Unless she did, in which case, I get why Mom doesn’t like it when I hang out with her.
Aside from a stallion standing in the corner reading a newspaper, I was the only one in the elevator. Some light jazz was playing on the speaker, but it did nothing to calm my nerves. At the time, it might as well have been funeral music.
Why was I doing this? I mean, aside from the fact that I’m an idiot, that was a given. My stubborness got the best of me. All I had to do was ignore those two, and that would have been it, but no, I took their bait.
Granted, they got me on a bad day, but that bad day was my fault. I pushed away my two best friends. Apple Bloom would have told me I was being an idiot if I took their bait, and Sweetie would have reassured me that I was better than the both of them.
I sighed in frustration. What I wouldn’t give to have either of them there to stop me from doing this, but they weren’t there. And it was my fault. I ticked off Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle because of my problems... my problems that they would have helped me with had I not been such a drama queen. Apple Bloom hated me enough to hit me, and Sweetie Belle... oh, Celestia, Sweetie Belle. Biggest mistake of my life was pushing her away. I’m thirteen. I shouldn’t have a biggest mistake of my life!
“Sweetie Belle,” I muttered. “I’m sorry.”
“Whassat, kid?”
I turned and saw the stallion looking at me. Great, not only was I about to die, but I was also talking to myself in public. I became one of those ponies.
I didn’t recognize the guy, but then again, I didn’t really hang much business types who wore suits. Considering how I was feeling, it wouldn’t have hurt to talk to someone. I lowered my head and sighed. “Sir, have you ever felt completely alone in the face of something really scary?”
“Kid, welcome to the real world. You’ll find that there’ll be some things you’re gonna have no choice but to face alone.”
“But everyone’s always told me that I can conquer everything with the magic of friendship.”
The stallion scoffed. “Listen, kid. I know you’re young and all, but it’s time you face facts. The world isn’t tailor-made to give you an easy way out in every situation, and a lot of the time, even when you’re really clever and make all the right moves, you’re gonna lose. The best thing you can do is weather the storm and keep moving on, afterward. You’ll learn important lessons on the way.”
I piped my head up. “But the reason I’m in this mess in the first place is that I ruined my friendships. They would have stopped me from digging my own grave!”
“Well then, there’s your lesson, kid. You’re one of those ponies who needs somepony to watch over them. My advice to you is to get through whatever’s bugging you, make up with your friends, and move on.”
I hung my head even lower. “I’m pretty sure I won’t be getting through this one.”
“Oh, cut the dramatics, kid, it’s not all that bad. I know I may come off as a little pessimistic, but I can tell you that whatever happens today, the sun’s still gonna rise tomorrow, and the world’ll be in one piece.” The elevator dinged and made its stop. As the doors opened, the stallion walked out and smiled at me. “By the way, what are you about to do anyway that’s so scary? Asking a colt out? SAT prep?”
“I’m about to jump off the top of the skyscraper because I lied to two of my classmates and said I had a special talent for jumping off buildings.”
His eyes bugged out. “Oh... well, I’m sure you can just use those wings of yours and own up to the fact you were lying and—”
“I can’t fly.”
“Oh... yeah, kid, you’re gonna die.”
The doors closed, the jazz continued, and the elevator continued to the roof.
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were down on the ground watching me with a pair of binoculars... not that I would know this at the time, because when I took one peek off the top of that monstrosity of a building, I creeped back as far as I could to the elevator door.
It was a huge rooftop, though, so it’s not like I was forced to jump immediately, but whenever you’re presented the opportunity, you try and fight that nasty urge to hurl yourself off an incredible height like that.
My legs were completely and totally numb. The combination of the high altitude and my rushed heart rate made it hard to breathe. This was it.
I kid you not, I started crawling my way to the edge of the rooftop. My hind legs had stopped functioning at this point. Once I got there, put just my eyes over the edge and stared into the endlessness. Aside from the flagpoles that lined the side of the building, there was nothing but blurry green that could only be called ground. I groaned loudly as a spike of dread shot up my spine. This was really it. The tears started to come as I screamed even louder.
Nuts to it. I wasn’t proud. I was scared. If it was either death or humiliation, I’d take the humiliation. I just wanted to be back on the ground and see my friends. Screw Diamond Tiara, screw my cutie mark, I just wanted to see Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle!
I was gonna turn around. I was gonna turn around and make up with them. I’d hug them so tight and let them know they were my best friends, and without them, I’d be...
In that wind, at that altitude, I might as well have a piece of paper.
Once I was pushed over the edge, I was in free fall. My screams were silenced by the rush of the atmosphere pushing against me as all my weight plummeted to the earth.
Oh crap! Oh, Luna! I’m gonna die!
My wings flapped harder than ever before, and my legs flailed in all directions, all of me was trying desperately for some–any kind of way to slow my body down.
And suddenly, I felt weight again. I felt... stoppage.
Turns out I was falling in the oncoming path of the flagpoles, and with sheer luck, my mouth caught hold of the flag dangling in the air. I cried out in joy, my mouth muffled by the flag. Someone up there liked me! I had a second chance!
However, there was a bit of a snafu. Not only was I dangling near the very bottom of the flag, but it was also orange and purple! I didn’t even realize there was a country with that color scheme like that! So, in my mind, waiting for somepony to notice me wasn’t gonna do.
I had to make contact with somepony to let them know I was out there, but the office windows on the building were a distance away from me. I would have to climb all the way up the flag, and then, shimmy across the pole to the windows and tap the glass.
...Okay, simple enough.
I darted my eyes to the top of the flag. This was the first obstacle. I had to try.
Using my hooves, I bundled together parts of the flag above me into something I could grip. Once that was done, it was just a matter of shimmying up the flag like it was a rope in gym class... which I could never do.
Although, gym class was never a life or death situation, so I guess it makes sense that I got good right then and there at climbing. I bet it also helped that I hummed “Hearts as Strong as Horses” to myself to get the blood pumping. Works everytime.
Within a gasp of breath, I was on the pole, making sure to avoid the pointy end. Wicked.
Now, all I had to do was slide on the pole and tap on the glass... why was the pole bending like that?
CRACK
Once again, I plummeted. This time, at least, holding onto something for dear life. All of the building zipped by me as the ground got closer and closer.
I had to climb, darnit, CLIMB!
I shimmied to the top of the pole, fighting against gravity. It would only be a matter of seconds before...
Crash
Well, okay, not technically a crash. It just one loud ‘ping’ as the flag pole pierced the ground, but the shockwave rocked my entire body, but I still hung on with all my strength to that pole.
Did I dare open my eyes?
I dared... green pasture. Aside from the building in the corner of my eye, there was just green pasture all around me as I was perched atop the pole.
Here’s where things started to get hazy. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had come running to where I was, that much I remember, but I don’t remember who was saying what. Everything I saw was getting blurry, and everything I heard was muffled.
There was a flash of light. Something about, “We thought you were dead meat!”
“That was amazing!”
And I think the last words out of my mouth were, “That’s nice.”
I don’t even remember falling to the ground.
I do remember waking up in the hospital, though, and man, was I sore. Climbing flags and flailing all six of your limbs against heavy air resistance in a desperate attempt to save your life can take a lot out of you. I tried to move, but, that wasn’t happening any time soon, as I cringed trying to sit up.
When I woke up, I was surrounded by Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, my folks, Rainbow Dash and her friends, and even Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. I gotta say, it was shocking to hear that those two actually called for an ambulance after my fall... who wants to bet that someone in the building saw the fall and called the ambulance and DT and SS are just taking credit? Takers? Anyone? Whatever. Point is: I was safe.
The doctor told me that I would need to stay in the hospital for the night for observation and to tend to any wounds I got. They assumed my face was bruised from the fall, and Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon apparently didn’t tell anyone I had it beforehoof. To this day, Apple Bloom has never got her comeuppance for decking me in the face. Thankfully, I remind her of this every time I need a free repair to my scooter, so it all works out.
But yeah, everyone gave me their hugs, and then, standard spiel about they were glad I was safe, and I would be happy too if I wasn’t so sore. Of course, just because I was alive, doesn’t mean I got off the hook. Mom grilled the everloving crap out of me for almost killing myself and I was grounded for three months! She wasn’t even swayed by the fact that I learned my lesson. That’s just moms, I guess.
“I just can’t believe how stupid you were!”
“Hey!” Rainbow Dash suddenly piped on the other side of my bed. “Cool it, will ya? Look, I know Scoots didn’t exactly make the smartest decision, but she could’ve died today! You can’t treat her like the bad guy.”
My mom was none too pleased. “Don’t you dare start with me. This was probably your influence, anyway!” She nudged Dad. “Tell her!”
Dad gasped. It seems he had been staring at a piece of paper the whole time. He tried to gather his thoughts. “Oh, uh... yeah, that’s really something. Honey, did you get a chance to look at this?” He showed us the paper, and it was a check. “Fifty thousand bits! And all we had to do was promise Filthy Rich we wouldn’t sue for his unsafe building!”
“Will you pay attention? Scootaloo is... did you really say fifty thousand bits?”
“Ya-huh!”
Mom’s eyes widened. “Oh... well, that’s pretty nifty.”
Suddenly, a stallion cleared his throat. Everyone turned to see that it was the doctor. “So... can I talk again?” Everyone murmured their approval. “Thank you.” He walked up to me and grabbed hold of my blanket, which I was too weak to move. “I waited until you were fully awake, Scootaloo. According to witnesses, you didn’t even notice it had happened. Congratulations.”
He pulled the blanket away, and everyone except Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon gasped in awe. There, on my flanks, were symbols that looked like bold red X’s with thick, black outlines.
Fillies and gentlecolts, I was Scootaloo: Cutie Mark Crusaded.
The applause came in a flash. Everyone swarmed to hug me, and then they detracted immediately when I screeched out in pain at the sudden contact, and everyone murmured quick apologies.
Dash beamed at me. “Scoots, do you realize what this means?”
“Um... not really? Does it matter, I have my cutie mark!”
“Yeah, you do, but your special talent is the greatest thing ever!”
“And what even is this talent?” My dad asked. “Doing suicidally dangerous stunts?”
“Exactly!” Dash shouted. “That is too freaking legit! I’m gonna totally geek about this, because this is too cool!”
Rainbow Dash called me too cool. This day was so win, I felt tears come to my eyes... then again, that might have been the agonizing pain, but still.
I knew what I had to do once all the dust settled, though, so I asked everyone except for Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle to leave the room. These were my best friends, and this experience taught me all their worth to me. I had to make things right.
“Guys, I’ve been a total jerk, lately, and I’m really sorry.”
“Aw, t’aint nothin’, Scoots. I reckon I acted a lil’ hotheaded, myself. Sorry ‘bout that bruise, by the way.”
“Oh, what, this thing? It’ll heal, Bloom. Just like the rest of my body... hopefully.”
“Heh. I reckon so... hey, Sweetie Belle. You’ve been awful quiet the whole time. Somethin’ on your mind?”
Sweetie Belle was just sitting on the end of my bed, watching me shyly. Was I scaring her? Was my legit achievement just too intimidating?
“Sweetie Belle, I know my charisma can be a lot to take in, but–”
Just like that, my face was covered in Sweetie Belle’s face as she grabbed hold of my body. Her tongue stabbed my lips as a wave of sensations overcame me... the dominant one being BLINDING PAIN!
“Ahh! Sore! Sore!” Immediately, Sweetie Belle retracted, a trail of spit left behind.
None of us said anything... well, okay, I was grunting and moaning in agony, but other than that, none of us were making conversation.
Eventually though, Apple Bloom piped in, “Oh, now is the time ya do this, Sweetie?” Sweetie merely blushed and bowed her head.
I raised an eyebrow. “What’re you talking about, Bloom?”
Apple Bloom smacked her forehead. “Oh, ya gotta be kiddin’ me, Scoots. Do I have to write it out, ya dummy? Or do ya prefer shadow puppets?”
“You know how to do shadow puppets?”
“That ain’t the point, Scoot. Sweetie Belle’s been–”
“When did you learn how to do shadow puppets? That seems like a hard thing to do without claws, talons, or magic–”
“SCOOTALOO, SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN TA ME!!!”
Whoah, Apple Bloom! Did she kiss her mother’s corpse with that mouth?
Anyway, I was at full attention. “Okay, what needs to be said?”
Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “You idiot. Sweetie Belle’s been crazy about ya for the longest time. She’s smitten!” Sweetie’s blush grew deeper as she scooted further away from me. “For some time, I’ve been waitin’ fer the day she’d go’n explode, and I guess it just happened. There. Now ya know!”
This was a lot to process. I looked to Sweetie Belle, and she was practically about to fall off the bed at this point.
“Uh... Apple Bloom, do you think you can give me and Sweetie Belle a few minutes.”
“Heh. Alright, I suppose y’all need a little privacy. Just keep it PG, you two.”
“Says the little filly who just dropped the f-bomb.”
“Oh, fuck you, I do what I want.”
Apple Bloom got up and walked out of the room. Sweetie Belle and I were totally alone, and I didn’t know what to say, really. I mean, Sweetie liked me. Somepony was actually interested in me like that, if Bloom was to be believed.
What do you even say to that?
At this point, Sweetie had the courage to scoot a little closer to me. I looked into her eyes and... wow, she actually had really pretty eyes; but there was something more, I think. Here she was–my best friend, my confidante, my fellow crusader, my bosom buddy, my homegirl, my pony who just made me realize I gotta edit that induction speech to be shorter–and she just threw complete caution to the wind and kissed me. But why was that? What led to it?
This, I had to know. I cleared my throat and whispered, “Why me, Sweetie Belle?”
Sweetie blushed again, “I just, I-i, don’t really know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
Sweetie shrugged. “I just don’t know, okay? I can’t help it, Scootaloo. Sometimes, you can’t help but find these feelings for your closest friend. You’re funny, you’re confident, and I love spending time with you... so, I guess that’s why.”
I sighed. “That’s too simple, isn’t it?”
“Probably.”
“Well, darn... then again, could we really expect an easy answer for something after a day that involved Apple Bloom punching me in the face and then me jumping off a skyscraper?”
Sweetie Belle giggled. “That’s what I mean when I say you’re funny... so, why did you jump off that building?”
I sighed. “It’s a long story, Sweetie, but the reason it all happened was because I’m stupid.”
“Scootaloo, you’re not stupid, you’re–”
“I am, Sweetie. Look, I’m not that ashamed to admit it, anymore. I’m just not good at making decisions or having perspective on things. I am not smart.”
Sweetie pouted. “If you say so.”
“I mean, why would I need to be smart when I’ve got you?”
Sweetie arched an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“Well, think about it: how many times have you guys stopped me from doing something stupid, or have just shown me how stupid I was being? Heck, you showed me I was being an idiot without even being with me! I realized how much of a jerk I was when you and Bloom deserted me. I was a mess without you two.”
That got her to smile, but almost immediately, she lowered her head again. “I’m sorry I kicked you out of my house. If I hadn’t done that, none of this would’ve happened.”
Was she serious? “What? You think it’d be better if I hadn’t learned these lessons or gotten my cutie mark? Sweetie, this day was awesome!”
“But you got hurt! You were in serious danger! You could’ve died!”
“Look at the marks, Sweetie. I’m gonna have to make a career out of doing dangerously stupid stuff. Me surviving this day is a sign. It’s what I was meant to do.”
Sweetie shrugged. “I guess I can’t argue with destiny... so, what now?”
“What do you mean ‘what now’? Isn’t this the part where we start dating?”
Sweetie’s eyes widened. “You... you actually want to date me? As in, date me like a special somepony? You really–”
“Sweetie, yes, really. You’re my best friend, you’re really pretty, and I’m a better pony with you by my side. Besides, I just pulled off a jump from a skyscraper without wings or a parachute, so what’s the worst thing dating could do?”
Her shock turned into a grin. “So... does that mean I can kiss you?”
I smiled. “I’d say you earned it.”
And so we did, and this time, Sweetie was considerate enough not to touch me and bring me more pain. Hopefully, in the future, she could touch me like nopony’s business, and my body would be ready for it.
And... that’s about it. I got my cutie mark and a girlfriend in the same day. Everything speaks for itself.
Do I have a moral or some kind of letter to the princess-esque thing to sign off with? Well, yeah, I learned an important lesson about needing Sweetie Belle in my life, but just repeating it here would be redundant.
I got nothing. You’re free to go.
Bye, now.
Author's Note
tl;dr
Scootaloo's dad blew all fifty thousand bits on thousands of lottery tickets at once.
Filthy Rich had the winning ticket.
