Camisado

by Aleksandr Sherbet

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Octavia, Comedy, Other, Spa Ponies, Derpy Hooves, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, DJ P0N-3, Human
Length: 3433

You've had a lone wolf mentality since you arrived and you attend to keep it that way. But with 6 mares and an odd stallion meet you, you start to wonder if you even want to be alone ever again. Try as you may friendship is something foreign.

Arriving in Equestria at age ten and having a few friends is great but after seven years here you've been constantly badgered into talk to someone other then yourself. You're sent to Ponyville to meet ponies that can actually tolerate you and even want your friendship.

This is a different Dante and not one from Vices and Virtues and yes I like the name Dante it has a certain ring to it.

Oh and title is a song from Panic! At the disco.

Editor:Scale Burner

Co-author:Lightingace

Published 2014-01-16 01:00:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-12 07:41:42 UTC

Chapter 1 -Friendship is Magic, Dante!

Author's Note

Any mistakes please inform.

Chapter 1 -Friendship is Magic, Dante!

Chapter 1 – Friendship is Magic, Dante!

“Cadence,” You turn towards your pink alicorn companion with a clear sign of annoyance, “can you please – for the love of God – stop trying to ‘hook me up’? You know as much as I do that I get frustrated in situations you put me in."

While trekking through the Royal Gardens, you and your friend, Princess Cadence, ruler of the Crystal Empire, have been arguing for the past half hour or so. Don’t be mistaken about the issue though, because you knew the argument had been waged countless of times before. Throughout those countless times, it has become natural to dispute with her. From the subjects of food, particular fashion, and peop- er- ponies. The most popular is your relationship status.

She glances to you, "Dante, you have to get rid of that whole ‘I’m a lone wolf’ mentality. You're seventeen and you have an abundant amount of friends here in Canterlot. Tartarus, almost everypony in Canterlot knows you!"

Giving her a deadpan, you commented, "The only reason why they know me is because you know me, Cadence. You're a princess for God sakes!"

She needs to stay out of your business soon. Dear Lord, her constant blabbering is going to piss you off so bad that you are going to resort to ram a random streetlamp headfirst and hope for it to knock you out. Maybe you will get amnesia and forget all about this topic. Oh that would be grand.

However, even though it pertains to your love life, you can’t seem to blame her for bothering you; it’s her job as the Princess of Love after all. But when it gets to the point where she sets you up with dates and/or plans out a scen ario involving a relationship with a pony every opportunity she has, it brews to irk you with a burning passion.

While you continue to inform her of your displeasure, and attempting to get yourself out of this via clever excuse you have in your astounding arsenal, you walked out of the entire castle and towards the café you and Cadence planned to eat at.

“They will certainly care for you if you gave them a chance. I see mares looking at you with smiles – even the suggestive ones.” She continues her verbal rampage but turns completely to you with a look of sheer determination and slight anger. “Come on, Dante! At least talk to one mare without making her feel bad for even talking to you! They deserve a chance!" She ended her rant by tackling and pinning you to the ground. Why she did this, you have no clue.

Feeling uneasy from this position that you’re in, you voiced your opinion nervously. “Uh… Don� 39;t you have a coltfriend, Cadence?”

“Yeah…” She didn’t really make you feel any better when she cocked her head to the side cutely. “Why?”

"Well, you're kind of on me; your rump is on my crotch, and ponies are staring at us. We are also in public nonetheless. While the guards are blocking us, they are not blocking all of us." As you said this, Cadence looked up to see ponies whispering, pointing at you two somewhat discretely.

She rose from the ground, lifting you up with her magic. The pink princess then dusted you off with a feathered duster she magically spawned.

“There. Are you better, you big foal?” She asked teasingly.

“I'll be better after we eat.” You began to resume your walk to the café. Glancing to her, you asked teasingly too, “You comin', Candy?"

“I'm coming, Danny!” The Lov e Princess hollered back, giggling like a little filly.

You and Cadence resumed the walk towards the café, ignoring the lingering stares from other ponies that may have witnessed Cadence’s questionable stunt. As you entered the shop, you looked around to see ponies bow respectfully to the pink princess and returned to their food. Some of which gave you either the curious glance or an unmistakable stink-eye.

"So what do you want to eat today?" Cadence asked after you both found a spot to lounge. Taking a moment to look at her, you see your royal companion fidgeting on her seat.

“She can’t even hold still…” You thought to yourself.

You harshly whispered your opinion. “You're acting like a kid; stop it! You’re going to make a scene!”

“Aww~, you don't like it when I act like this?” She asked as a frown appeared across her muzzle. By Go d, her lower lip is quivering ever so slightly. This prompted you to make a frown because you cannot handle the diabetes she is mercilessly bestowing upon you.

“Please stop,” You tried to close your eyes, but all you managed is to squint. Your actions doubled her onslaught by staring at you but with now dilating eyes. “Jesus, I can't handle the sheer adorableness.”

“Excelsior,” She declared loudly, bopping your nose to emphasize her victory.

You crossed your arms. “You're acting more like a kid than I ever had since I first arrived here on Equestria. You know, me being as the creature that lurks in Canterlot, you can learn a thing or two from me.”

“Oh? And what might that be?”

“Acting like an adult and not a child who just found out that Santa Hooves brought them all the gifts they have always wanted.”

“We have Hearths Warm ing, not that Christmas parallel you keep mentioning.” Cadence is giving you the most serious deadpan she has ever given you. It doesn't last long because her expression soon softened just a tad. “Other than that, you need to stop acting like such a stick in the mud and have fun for once in your life. Who taught you to act like an uptight guy anyway? I know it wasn't me or Auntie Celestia.”

“Her name starts with a ‘T’, I'll let you guess from there.” You hinted her as you two order your drinks and meals. As usual, both of you asked for salads. You really miss a nice juicy burger. It may give you the shits, but those were always the good shits.

“Was it Twilight?” She inquired.

“Ding-ding-ding! We have a winner!” You congratulated the pink alicorn with loud, obnoxious clapping. Just to be more of an idiot than what you are currently being, you grabbed a fork and spoon, tied t hem with a napkin by their ends, and gave it to her. “You have been awarded the Spork of Brilliance. Use it wisely.”

Cadence rolled her eyes from your idiocy but abruptly adopted a questioning look. “Wait… When I foalsat Twilight, she was a fun loving filly that actually broke rules as a pass-time. When did the change happen?”

“We all grow up someday, Cadence. Trust me; it'll probably happen to you soon.” She sighs as she lays her head on the table. What could possibly bother her so much?

“I wish that we can just have fun,” Ah, there it is. “But you're right… Everypony has to grow up someday.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Although, I gotta’ say, if you're the goddess of love, how come you can't even find me a match? Is it really difficult?”

“No… You have to find your own love. It'll take some time but you'll find your sou l-mate one day.” You rolled your eyes and looked at her, soon feeling like a total ass. To amend your behavior, you decided to brush her mane and scratch behind her left ear. Doing this made her lean closer to your God-blessed hand.

“Why do you have hands?” She cooed randomly, sighing pleasantly afterwards. She then started to nuzzle your hand at certain points of your scratching. “You always know where to scratch.”

“Probably it’s because I’m not from the world of pony-land. I was born on a little rock called Earth, remember?” You retracted your hands. “Plus, I am a nature’s loving human, so I get these bad boys." You finished your answer by waving your hands in front of her, making her sigh again and shake her head.

Feeling tired from the conversation, you close your eyes and leaned back on the chair, whistling a tone in your head aloud. You later heard something being placed on the table, pro mpting you to open your eyes. You discovered that both your – and Cadence’s – food and drink have arrived.

“Dante…” She grabs your attention with a gentle tone in her voice. “What's the real reason you won't give a mare a chance? C'mon, no lies this time… I really want you to have somepony special by your side. Tell me what interests you the most and I'll-”

She was interrupted by you as you covered her lips with your single digit finger. “Ugh… fine. If you're so interested, I want a mare who loves nature as much as I do. Someo- er- pony who also loves fashion and who also adores to see the sunrise at the break of dawn. If you can find a mare like that, call me.” Cadence rubbed a hoof underneath her chin as she looked up at the oh-so appealing ceiling – almost as if she was wondering who she can contact.

“Oh, and Cadence, don't go all crazy trying to find me a mar e. I deal with Twilight as it is when it comes to her tardiness.” You warned her as she looked at you and gave you a determined nod.

***

You both finished lunch later than expected but you’re not complaining. Interestingly, the alicorn princess is still not giving you full attention, mostly because she is still contemplating to herself on which mare you should date. To be fair, you did give her the details on a mare that probably doesn't exist or lives far away. Or maybe isn't interested in a guy who is taller than her, and has a 'lone wolf mentality.'

Ever since you were young, you had that mental state of mind; believing that you are forever alone and can only rely on yourself. For the longest time, you wanted life to be where you shaped it to be, likely something others cannot control without your permission. But regardless of what you wanted, life would most definitely change into a beast that you couldn't even see, affecting you, others and their lives.

You and Cadence trekked back towards the castle. The Royal Guards bowed to you both, mostly for her but some for you because you were a close friend.

Were you a noble? Eh, somewhat. You weren't too sure about the idea of being a noble/scholar. You weren't born to the nobility; you arrived at Equestria at the age of ten. Seven years later, you remained here in Equestria. Before that, all you remember is some weird storm attacking your old home and waking up in the Royal Gardens in the castle. Even if it’s difficult to remember, you luckily still know about living in New York at a rather large city on the east coast of the country you were born in.

… It seems legit.

During your time on the world of ponies, you proposed to Princess Celestia that you’d help her with her governing paperwork because you had experience in th e past. It is still shocking when she agreed to your proposition kindly – even when you were young at the time. Since then, you'd help her with some paperwork and other kinds of forms. You didn't actual mind working with them; they became second nature when you continued to do them until reaching the late nights with the sun princess. Sometimes you would keep her awake while you both slaved away past eleven at night. Those were the days…

After you departed yourself from Cadence, you made your way to your office on the upper floor of the castle. Once you found it, you entered and got to work, which consisted of evaluating city complaints or laws that are voiced to be sternly passed from the high-class ponies. You were in charge of seeing these papers and deciding whichever should go to Princess Celestia. It was certainly an easy job; it’s something that didn't get you too stressful. On your free time, you'd be in the library studying bec ause Celestia recommended you to study the main subjects of Equestria. Surprisingly, you didn't mind learning this new world. Equestria has a unique, but completely different culture than your own.

In this land, there were dragons, griffins, cockatrices, and many other creatures you thought existed in mythology. Of course the wildest you'd see on earth were wolfs, lions, and even a snakehead fish. Here, you can’t even look at these new sentient species without gawking at them. To you, it is rare that you'd be seeing a unique creature you would have never seen before. The first time you saw a ferret, it was unique; meeting Spike for the first time, left you speechless.

An hour later...

After finishing off your third packet of forms, you thought back to your time with Cadence. What she said about your mentality still left you perturbed.

“Who is she to say I have to get rid of my ‘lone wolf mentality’? I was born this way… They should just get use to my attitude; it isn’t changing and I plan to keep it that way.”

Your mental rant was cut short when you hear your door open. You glanced up from the paperwork to see the one and only Princess Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria. Noticing that you acknowledged her, she smiled as she let herself in.

“Good afternoon, Dante.” She greets as she plants down on a pillow, located at the other side of the desk.

“Hello there, Princess.” You put the quill down to show your full attention. Sliding your work aside, you questioned the eldest alicorn. “What's up? You usually don't come to see me in my office unless you have something important to tell me.”

“Well, I've seen you grow up into the stallion that you are today and I've been pondering whether or not you've had accomplished yoursel f on making new friends. Have you had any success on making these friends?” You rolled your eyes and slid back your paperwork.

Celestia sees your displeasure, however, questions you again. “Dante, please, have you attempted to make any friends at all?”

“No… Not really. Why do you ask, Celestia?” You asked, not giving much thought to her request. The forms have somehow become a lot more interesting to you.

She sighed and walked over to you until she draped one of her majestic wings on your back. This is what you’ve come to learn as an equine equivalent to a hug for pegasi.

“Dante, you need friends. I know you weren't anti-social back in your world, yet here, you've been sealed away and not giving anypony the time of day.”

"Sure, because everyone I met on my first week here had been so nice telling me to leave or trying to kill me. Ya’ know… what normal people do on a sunny afternoon." You dripped your reply with enough sarcasm in your tone that would make your dear mother proud. It doesn’t end there though. Oh ho-ho, there is a lot more to bitch about. “Hell, your guards thought I was a threat because of my height difference and the color of my eyes.”

“It doesn’t matter whether you are different or not. You're still, and always will be, the same pony me and Twilight would ever know. Even Cadence cares for you… My subjects just require time to recognize you as a peaceful pony.”

“You mean peaceful man, Princess. Man.” You corrected her. “Regardless, I think that was because Twilight and I hit it off to begin with. I still remember the whole bonding experience when we first met: I was helping her clean the library after she went on a mass reading spree.” Celestia giggled as she too remembered the time you cleaned the library and re-sorted the library’s knowledge supply when the lavender pony freaked out about test she gave her. After Twilight completed her test, she had been lying around in the library, talking to you during your free time. The topics went off from comparing books to the ones you already read with her. The friendship between you two blossomed that day.

“Look, Tia,” You continue your speech as you break the equine hug. You used the nickname her sister uses for a more pleasant effect. “I appreciate everything you're doing, but you aren't my mother. You're a friend and nothing more. Take Luna for an example; she's a friend, and – quite frankly – actually becoming a closer friend.”

Celestia had a sly smile on her muzzle as she inspected your facial expression. After living in the castle for years and witnessing Celestia's stone cold poker-face many times, you've gain the ability to mimic the ivory palette pony.

“You're good.” She briefly chuckled with a motherly smile as she turned and trotted out of your office.

You shook your head from all of this nonsense and continued your work. “Why can't they keep the whole pointless talk of friends to themselves? Better yet, why can't they just mind their own business and leave me alone?”

***

After quite some time, you felt as if Celestia wanted to tell you something regarding earlier. Your educated guess was true when she sent her Day Guards to retrieve you after your business was taken care of. It must be very important for her to speak with you.

You walked towards the throne room and, upon entering, you see her reading a friendship report Twilight had sent over. Without even glancing at you, she spoke. “Ah, I'm glad you're here, Dante. I would like to speak to you about our current standing with friends.”

You were about to turn for the doors until they began to glow a glorified golden hue. The princess used her magic to seal you in.

“I know you enjoy your time here in the castle, but your life huddled up in one spot isn't a life I want for you to have. So, I arranged that you live with Twilight until you learn a thing or two about friendship.” Celestia finished with another motherly smile.

You looked at her and reluctantly nodded to her decision. Noticing her horn glowing again, you turned around to the throne room exit, watching the doors lose the magical glow it once had.

“You may leave now,” She said.

As you walked out of the throne room and towards the gardens, you decided there was no use fighting the reluctant might of friendship. You were to leave even if they put you in a magical bubble and tossing you unto a train. You weren't a hundred percent sure about the idea of leaving, but this wasn't the first time your own decision was taken into consideration.

When you ended up in the Royal Gardens once again, you sat down and looked into a small pond. Enjoying your rippling reflection, you soon felt a wing drape over your right shoulder. You looked to your side to see Luna smiling down at you; almost as if she knew what you were going through.

“We see that thou would rather not leave our beloved Canterlot to enter a new environment, and possibly have thyself re-educated.”

“Is it really that obvious?” You asked softly.

“With thou; yes.” She giggled and gave you a hug. Damn, you be gettin’ so many of them hugs today. You recorded three from Moon Dancer, four from Cadence, and one from each of the royal siblings.

“Wow, I need more practice to be more of a Billy-badass.”

Oddly enough , you were semi-okay with the idea of befriending more ponies. You'd be seeing Twilight again. She left two months ago and always wrote about her experiences in Ponyville – mostly the crazy ones. To be honest, you were actually curious about the quaint little town. What’s it going to be like if there were any interesting characters? Will you find what you so desperately need? Would Cadence be on to something about finding a special somepony?

… Will they have meat? Oh Lord Almighty, please let the place have meat.

You'd find out soon enough as you did have to leave the first thing in the morning.

Chapter 2: To Ponyville...

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