Twilight Uses A Computer

by Cafe Ponies

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1240

Twilight uses a computer. Some insanity ensues, while some anger ensues.

Twilight uses the same computer that she used at Canterlot High, which she returned with when she went back to Equestria. She also thinks she's going insane from using it, and her insanity turns into anger.

Short story, don't expect much. My first comedy story, so don't expect the best either.

Published 2014-05-02 23:10:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-02 23:10:03 UTC

Hooves And Keyboards

Twilight eagerly sat down in her chair, rubbing her hooves together excitedly. Carefully, she set her hooves down on the keyboard attached to the computer from Canterlot High in front of her.

"Alright, Twilight! Time to write a fanfic!" she said to herself. Pressing the power button on the computer, she grinned in exhilaration.

Of course, the computer turned on once the purple mare pressed the power button. After a short session of waiting impatiently, Twilight saw the desktop appear on the computer screen. Using her knowledge of computers that she learned from Cheerilee at Canterlot High, she moved the mouse next to the keyboard. The excited purple pony clicked on the Google Chrome icon on a bar on the bottom of the screen. Judging from what she heard, it was called a taskbar. Shortly afterwards, a window popped up. Twilight knew the name of the window too. It was called the internet.

Twilight moved the mouse again. The cursor on the screen moved, just like the mouse, then stopped when it was on a bar on the top of the window. The link! Twilight thought.

"Hmm," Twilight muttered thoughtfully. Her eyes quickly glowed in confusion as each of her hooves covered at least five keys on the keyboard.

The purple mare forced her hoof down, causing multiple letters to appear in the URL bar on the screen. Of course, they didn't form any words at all. This surprised Twilight, as she always used proper grammar and spelling. Searching for the backspace key, she realized that this was more complicated for her than she thought!

"But this can't be possible! I'm smart enough to kidnap Mayor Mare and take her place as the Ponyville mayor, but I'm not smart enough for this? How dare this computer mock me?" Twilight ranted, extremely irked.

Silence filled the air as Twilight stared at the computer screen angrily, blinking occasionally. Nothing was her in mind, except for the feeling that the computer screen was mocking her as the random letters she typed with her hooves remained on the screen in the URL bar.

"Confound this other-worldly object!" the furious mare abruptly shouted, breaking the silence. She slammed her hooves on the desk that her computer was on, making every object on the desk shake.

After a few moments, Twilight forced the objects to stop shaking, as well as the desk itself.

"Do you think you're better than me? Huh?" she challenged the inanimate object. She craned her neck, squinting her eyes suspiciously at the computer in front of her.

The fury inside of Twilight expanded, making the purple pony tremble in anger. "That's it! You want a piece of me?!" she challenged the computer again.

The computer simply sat there on the desk. Am I actually going insane from this? Twilight pondered cautiously. A speck of fear grew inside her, getting large enough to mask all of the irritation resting in her body. Then, Twilight shook her head.

"Of course I'm not going insane from this! Why would I? I mean, I've read hundreds, thousands, millions of books, but-" Twilight broke off from voicing her sudden exaggeration. Sighing, she went on, correcting herself this time. "I've read many books, and I didn't go insane from a single one!" she scoffed, this time out loud.

The purple mare pressed down on the backspace key without touching any of the other keys, somehow. A slight feeling of satisfaction struck Twilight once the unorganized letters in the URL bar disappeared.

Thinking for a moment, she gave the computer another hard stare. "Aha!" she exclaimed. "I'll just type with my horn!"

Twilight lowered her head and positioned her horn correctly. Determined to type even just one intelligible word, she moved her head closer to the keyboard and pressed down on the F key with her horn. When she looked up, she grinned delightfully. A single letter appeared on the screen, which was, of course, an F. Twilight went on with her clever typing strategy, picking up her pace as she typed each letter.

Finally, after about a minute of typing with her horn, the determined unicorn came down to the last letter of the link she was typing. "Piece of cake!" she sneered loudly.

Smiling smugly, Twilight aimed her horn at the T key. She could just feel it already, the satisfaction of finally pressing the enter key and going to the site she desired to arrive at, FIMFiction.net. And then, she'd yell, "In your face!" at the computer triumphantly, even though it wasn't really her thing to rub her victory in another being's, mostly a pony's, face. It was more of Rainbow Dash's thing.

After Twilight pressed the T key with her horn, she pressed enter. For a moment or two, the screen went blank as it loaded, then the FIMFiction.net homepage appeared. Immediately, she logged in and created a new story right away. Once she went to her new story's page, she began to use her typing strategy again. As she pressed each key with her horn, she went faster and faster.

"I have to type at least one thousand words! Oh well, I can surely handle it," Twilight huffed, boasting to herself.

It felt awkward to be in a position like this, but she had to write a fanfic! Twilight got used to it anyways after just a few minutes. Being in this position for so long might be bad for my health... she realized, becoming worried in a flash.

As the purple unicorn neared the last words of her quickly-written fanfic, her muzzle crashed into the keyboard and forced many unkempt letters to appear on the screen. Twilight slowly looked up, staring at the screen blankly. When she felt a few tears emerge from her eyes, her face grew red with anger.

"No, no, no!" she protested furiously in an ear-piercing shout.

In a bout of anger, Twilight gripped both sides of the desk tightly and threw it across the room with unexpectedly massive amounts of strength. The computer, keyboard, and mouse flew across the room along with it. The four objects collided with the wall and fell, completely broken and smashed.

"Great, now I just wasted over thirty minutes of my life typing a fanfic, only to mess up right when I'm about to finish, and only to break my computer, keyboard, mouse, and desk! Looks like I'll need a ton of bits to pay for the broken computer and desk now," Twilight ranted, frowning in irritation. Her disappointment clouded the excitement in her face.

The purple unicorn gave the broken objects on the other side of the room a blank stare. She sat down, tired from all of the typing. After all, she used up a lot of her strength and energy when she hauled the four useful objects across the room, smashing them entirely. Many words slipped from her mouth, her voice shaking, before she collapsed onto her side and closed her eyes, drifting into sleep.

Twilight forced her eyes to open as she grew slightly worried. "I'll fix it all tomorrow!" she whispered to herself sharply.

Twilight let out an enormous yawn. "Oh, don't worry about it, Twilight. Just sleep," she advised herself, getting tired once more. Her vision turned completely black once she fell asleep.

Maybe I should return that all to Canterlot High, Twilight thought before she began to dream about books and such.