Dexterity
an MLP:FiM Fanfiction by Midnight Shadow
Ponyville.
It's amazing how much things can change and yet stay the same. The same streets, the same small town atmosphere. The same cake shops. The same overjoyed, overblown reception from an overly hyper earth pony with more sugar in her veins than sense...
"Ooh it's our own itty bitty teensy weensy spikey wikey and he's all grown up! Whee!" came a familiar voice, getting louder and louder by the hoofbeat, until—
Oof! "Hi Pinkie," I reply to the pastel-coloured force of nature that had come hurtling towards me so fast that I swore she'd bent light around her plump little body. Moments later, I'm grasping the pink bombshell – in more ways than one, if I'm honest with myself – in my foreclaws as I hug her to me; she smells of peppermint candy and nutmeg. I've missed her. "I've been grown up for a long time!" I complain.
"And a snoof-snoof to you too, mister dragon!" she whisper-giggles, kissing me on the nose. I blush. She shouldn't have caught that, but then Pinkie catches everything. Not that she minded. "I know you've been grown up for ages, you've just grown up more! Ooh I've gotta go get your cake ready!" She kicks her little legs about, itching to be free.
"What cake?" I ask innocently, my voice no longer the high-pitched youthful soprano of several years ago, the one that had quivered with fear and regret at leaving.
"You know what cake!" she replies, waggling her eyebrows up and down. She's holding her legs out straight from her body and waving them about as if signalling an overlarge dragon in for landing. "The cake for your surprise party!"
"How can it be a surprise if you've told me about it!?" I joke, lowering her to the ground. I smile, wide, showing my teeth. They're bigger now and a lot sharper. She's not fazed. She never is.
"Now, now, Spikey Wikey, you know I always throw you a party, and you know I never tell you when or where. That's the surprise."
I give her one last hug – quickly, before she evaporates into the distance in that decidedly Pinkie-ish way that only she has ever got the hang of – and laugh. "And you surprise me. Every time."
Ponyville.
It seems like only yesterday I was the Number One Assistant to a certain famous purple unicorn-turned-alicorn, sleeping in a pet-basket at the foot of her bed. Then I'd outgrown the basket. And then I'd outgrown her room.
And finally, I'd outgrown her.
Well, almost. You never forget your big sister, your family, no matter how far you roam, the same way you never forget your first crush.
It was Rarity that made me want to come back too, year after year. It may have been unrequited love, but it was no less true. I'd do anything for her. It was in modelling for her that I found my love of anatomy and form. She would dress me up in some outlandish, foppish, crazy, or sometimes just downright dapper, handsome and stylish outfit, and then trim and change, mix and match, with fabrics and colours until she had created something entirely unique.
From those sessions, which I would spend in stupefied bliss, I learned to appreciate body and bone structure. Finally, after years of schooling and training, I went to work for Canterlot University; I found my niche in their forensics lab, contracting out for the state. I can't say there was much of a queue, it wasn't really a position many ponies hankered after, but I am very good at my job and very proud of my skills.
Very proud, and eager to share. That's another reason why I make semi-regular trips back here to Ponyville; to teach the foals biology. I will admit though, I'd stepped up my visit this time because, in Rarity's letters to me, she had seemed… distant lately. Distant, and withdrawn. Now I'm not one to stand in the way of her true heart – I'm under no illusions that she will ever fall for me, no matter how hard I try – but I can tell when something is wrong. It was most probably either another colt had broken her heart, or something similar.
And it looked like I was getting a front-row seat in what that something was. Or, rather, who.
"I'll be back, Rarity. Soon. Tomorrow. You'll… have it ready, won't you?" An earth pony the colour of pine trees, dappled like a forest had grown through him, leaned up against a gleaming white unicorn with a beautifully deep purple mane, sullying her with his touch.
"Y-yes, sir, I wi—" She sounded frightened, to me, her voice hoarse, her ears flat against her head and her tail flat against her nethers.
"You know you can call me Carpenter, Rarity," the stallion said familiarly. He took her hoof, rather forcefully, and kissed it. He kissed it long and slowly, rubbing his muzzle up against it. I could see, even from this distance, that she was trying to pull it back. This 'Carpenter' was strong though, doubtless due to his occupation. More than strong enough to hold one as dainty as Rarity in place. I felt the fire rising, but held it in check. I was better than that. I always had been.
Still, I strode forwards. "Rarity!" I called, loudly. "Long time no see! You simply must join me tonight. Pinkie's got another surprise party planned, but she won't tell me when or where. You know her!" I leaned down and fixed Carpenter with a gaze that could melt steel. It very nearly caused him to water the dandelions under his hooves. "I'm sorry, sir, but Madame Rarity will be busy tonight. You will have to wait for your order. That's okay, isn't it?" I smiled, wide – the teeth, they always fixate on the teeth.
"O-oh o-of c-course, of course, I-I c-can wait. Yeah. I'll, er... c-come back. To-tomorrow. And the day after. Until it's ready." I could see he was warming up to the idea, standing a little taller. Disappointment was now fully replaced with… hunger. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rarity wince. Yep. As the little toad made himself scarce, I gathered up the unicorn in a gentle hug. I held her close, wrapping my wings around her until she sobbed and collapsed into my embrace.
"Shh, shh," I said, whispering comfortingly in her ear. "He's gone now."
"B-but he-he'll be back. He always comes back. He p-pays handsomely b-but h-he just… he just… he keeps on… he—"
"Tell me, Rarity. You can tell old Spikey Wikey," I whisper. We went inside Carousel Boutique. I shut the door, locked it, and turned the sign to read 'SORRY – WE ARE CLOSED'.
"Oh Spike!" she wailed. Her hooves were shaking so much that she couldn't make tea. I gently took the ingredients from her and started making it myself.
"Go on," I said, softly. A quick burst of flame had the water boiling. I added the well-ground chamomile leaves and set the whole caboodle to stew on the table.
"It started innocently enough. He was a darling, always coming by my Canterlot branch. He would buy a hat, or saddlebags, or a waistcoat. A-and then he started asking after dresses. I th-thought it would be for a marefriend… or even for his private collection – you never know with some of these socialites, not that it's any business of mine – b-but th-then he started asking about… personal things. He wanted to know what I wore. He… he asked for dresses I'd made for myself. How could I refuse? I-I was flattered."
"So you gave him some." My tone was gentle, but her expression when I said it almost broke my heart.
"Well of course, Rarity Originals. I thought he would… spread my name about a bit. But he ch-changed. I f-found him f-following me. I found h-him watching me. And Sweetie Belle and her foal. And—" she paused, blushing. She turned her head away, ashamed.
"Tell me, Rarity." I was careful not to startle her. She was so precious, like a little glass figurine. So fragile she could break at the slightest touch. I didn't want that.
"My… underthings." Her voice was so quiet I almost didn't hear it. I nodded, and drew her close. She smelled of expensive perfume and too much soap. Showering his touch off, no doubt.
"So you came here to get away from him?" I nodded in sympathy as she dropped her own head, hot tears of shame and impotent rage boiling down her muzzle.
"He came after me," she whispered.
"Oh Rarity," I said. I stroked her delicate hair with a claw.
"You're such a gentlepony, Spike," she sobbed into my scales. "You've always been there for me. Always so helpful."
"I always will be, Rarity. Don't worry, maybe now he saw me he'll give up and go away." I laughed, deep in my gut. She sniffed and laughed too. I wiped her dainty nose with a hoofkerchief, smiling down at her.
"Oh do you think so? I just want him to go away and never come back."
"I'm sure of it," I said. I patted her. "I'm sure of it."
***
Pinkie caught me – us – later, in the library. Last time it had been at the cakes when I'd tried to get Cup and Carrot to rat out their adoptive daughter and her nefarious confectionary-based assault plans. This time it was when I made a stopover to see the Princess. She hates it when I call her that, at least when we're in private or she's off duty at Books and Branches. Of all the things that never change, she's changed the least – at least since she got her wings. I'm glad she has me, her cousin and her two aunties looking after her through it all, because it has been rough in spots.
Anyway, yeah, Pinkie caught me. Full in the face with a maxed-out load of cake-frosting gems from her suspiciously portable cannon. With any other pony it would have been lethal. With any other pony, of course, it would have been plain old frosting. But not for me, not for Spike. Spike's a different sort of pony.
I smiled to myself as I tidied up a few loose ends. All in all, Twilight had done a fantastic job of raising me. She'd kissed my boo-boo's better, taught me right from wrong, instilled a strong sense of discipline and cleanliness. And she'd taught me how to handle being around ponies.
She'd done a better job than she realized, of course.
I mean, you'd have thought she'd have known. I'm a dragon. I'm a large, armoured, sharp-toothed, spikey-tailed, fire-breathing, scaley monster. But I'm also the cute li'l critter who grew up on hay fries, slept in a basket at the bottom of her bed and wore a pinafore when baking cookies.
"I learned how to behave around other ponies, very quickly. No biting, no using my claws. No touching when not invited. I learned, Carpenter, to keep my claws to myself."
"MMmmff!" the pine-coloured stallion said, his cries muffled.
"But it was never quite enough," I mused, stalking around the small room. It was lined with porcelain on the walls, floor and ceiling. Thanks to an ingenious set of pipes and a mage-crystal heating unit, it had plenty of hot and cold water on tap – more than enough to clean off even the most fouled of ponies – and drained neatly into Froggy Bottom Bog. Twilight had been one busy, ingenious, curious little filly.
"I also learned, at quite an early age, that I wasn't like other ponies. I had… needs. Needs that they didn't. Urges."
I turned the lamps down. I would need plenty of light, later, but right now I needed dusk and shadows. It was… important, to set the mood right.
"Things came to a head," I continued, as I stalked over to the stainless steel table in the middle of the room, "when two shysters almost stole Applejack's farm. Well, they did steal it. Then they gave it back. But I decided I couldn't have them doing it again. Not to the Apples, and certainly not to any other pony."
I looked at my claws, flexing them into fists. "They ran off in the direction of the Everfree Forest. The same as you did. They always do. Nobody ever asks questions about ponies that wander into the Everfree. They were never seen again."
I ran a claw down the pony's belly, ever so gently, taking a deep, shuddering breath as I did so. His eyes were wild, his expression pleading. I smiled sadly, and shook my head, as he thrashed in his bonds. They were far too tight. I'd had plenty of practice, he wasn't going to get out of them.
"I'm a monster, you know. Deep inside, where nobody can see. And every so often, I have to… let it out."
I ever so gently pushed a claw into his abdomen, applying just enough pressure for it to finally pierce the skin and sink a few inches. He screamed; a muffled, drawn-out moan through the gag. Tears welled in his eyes.
"It's been a long time," I told him, my voice as low as the lights. I stroked his head. "Thank you for this. You were ever so kind. I mean, Rarity doesn't thank you, but I will. I have rules, you see. I only take those who deserve it."
I snuffed out a few more of the lights until the room was sufficiently dim and the walls danced with muted, reflected shadows.
"And you really deserve it."
***
I smiled as the foals all made enthusiastic grossed-out noises. I couldn't help but laugh at the "eew's!" and "yucks!" as I uncovered my little gift. It hung, grinning and lifeless, suspended from a neat set of wires and a metal frame.
"Now, now, children," Cheerilee said. "This specimen has been kindly donated by Spike for your anatomy studies. It has been created with the utmost of respect and care, and I request you show it the same."
"Oh, indeed," I replied. "It is rather difficult to bleach bones so white, to get them so clean. I wouldn't do it just for fun."
Cheerilee blanched at that. "Quite," she said.
"I'll be along to talk about it later," I said. "First, though, I have some goodbye's to say. I'm afraid I can't stay long this time."
"That's quite alright, Spike, it was great just to have you," said Cheerilee, as I sauntered out of the school.
***
"A-and they say he just left! Just up and left!"
I laughed, hugging Rarity. She was so happy, so carefree. She had that verve back, that spring in her step.
"I guess he figured out who you were, one the bearers of the Elements, friend of Twilight, tamer of dragons," I said, thumbing a claw at my chest. She'd certainly tamed me.
"Oh you! Tell me how you did it!"
"Did what?" I ask, a hurt expression flitting across my snout.
"How you got him to leave!"
"I didn't have to do anything," I replied reproachfully. "Besides, you all know I was in the library with you all night. True, I was downstairs in the old lab – I'm told I snore like a hurricane, it was for the best – but it's been many years since I could fit through that window. I suppose you think I turned into a puff of smoke, like one of Celestia's letters, hmm? Then gobbled him up like some vicious beastie?"
"Oh Spikey Wikey!" She kissed me on the snout. "You're such a gentlepony. You'd never do anything to hurt anypony!"
I smiled, showing my teeth.
***
Letters are funny things, I thought to myself as I winged my way back towards Canterlot. They always find a way of getting to where they belong. Like the instructions to a certain earth pony to leave. They'd said to head through Whitetail Wood. I'd known he'd take any other route than the one I gave him.
Funny how every other route out of Ponyville leads past the Everfree. And funny how a poison joak-laden letter will act like a time-delay boomerang, bringing the bearer right back to the sender.
Right to Twilight's old lab, filled with useful things like vats of chemicals and large tubs just the right size for some personal anatomy projects.
Yeah, some things never change. Ponyville was that same, safe, wonderful place I'd left.
And I was going to make sure it stayed that way.
Author's Note
I wrote this mostly for the pun...
