Mr. Keen Eye and the Gardener's Guild

by InspectorSharpWit

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Main 6, Comedy, Crossover
Length: 2874

A gardener is found dead on the outskirts of Ponyville, and the town turns to a visiting detective who's known for being... Eccentric.

When a local gardening enthusiast is found murdered, Ponyville is sent into a state of high alert. Luckily for them, a world-famous detective happened to be visiting the town. However, his methods are a bit... Unorthodox, to say the least. Will Ponyville's residents be able to handle the queer Mr. Keen Eye?

I would like to reach out to my dear readers to help me find some cover art for this little fic. Seeing as I don't want to give the surprise away (though a few of you might guess it already), any artistically inclined readers are welcomed to send me a private message to discuss the subject of the art!

Published 2014-01-18 03:20:08 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-18 03:20:08 UTC

Chapter One

Chapter One

Fluttershy hummed herself a little tune as she made lunch for herself and her animal friends, cheerfully measuring the many portions needed to keep her pets healthy. Upon reaching into her acorn jar, however, she found that she did not have enough to feed all of the squirrels. Oh dear, she thought to herself. I better go find some outside!

She trotted out of her house, still humming that cheerful little tune under her breath as she flew up to a nearby oak tree. As she delicately picked out the ripest acorns, she noticed that the hooves of her neighbor, Mr. Chrysanthemum, were sticking out from behind his cottage. Oh, how nice, she thought fondly. It looks like Mr. Chrysanthemum fell asleep while tending his garden again! I should probably go wake him up…

She quietly glided to her neighbor’s yard, careful to land quietly so as to not scare him. “Mr. Chrysanthemum?” she called gently. “You really should wake up now…”

Strangely, the old stallion didn’t budge, but instead continued to lay there, inert. “Mr. Chrysanthemum?” Fluttershy called, a little louder this time. She edged closer and closer to the stallion’s hooves, a feeling of slight worry creeping into her heart. “Are you alright?”

Just as she turned the corner, the pink-maned mare gasped in horror at the sight: the elderly stallion was on the floor, dead, a stream of blood trickling down from his forehead.

Several stallions in blue uniforms circled the perimeter, spreading yellow tape that said the words “CRIME SCENE, DO NOT CROSS” in big black letters. The police stallions stallions were already marking the evidence, and a spell had been cast to preserve the corpse in the state that it was found.

Captain Black and White was a weathered old earth pony, with nearly twenty years of experience behind him. These years helped him develop his diplomacy skills, particularly with distraught mares. “There there, Miss Fluttershy,” he said comfortingly, patting her shoulder gently. “It wasn’t your fault, these things happen.”

Fluttershy, who was draped in a warm blue blanket, sniffed loudly, dried up tears still visible on her face. “H-h-he was such a sweet old stallion,” she sighed sadly. “He taught me how to plant my garden when I first came to Ponyville…”

Fluttershy’s pets, ever faithful, crowded around their friend in the spirit of empathy. Angel Bunny glared up at the police stallion, as if daring him to attempt to hurt her.

The Captain maintained a professional look of sympathy, trying to ignore the strangely intimidating rabbit. “Miss Fluttershy, are you certain that you didn’t see anything else that could be useful? Perhaps any clues that could help us find the killer?”

The cream-colored mare nodded sadly. “No… I’m sorry…”

“Hey, it’s alright,” the white police stallion assured her. “I know this is very difficult for you, but don’t worry; we’re getting our best people on the case.”

“Hey Captain!” A younger stallion called out. The Captain turned to see his partner, Lieutenant Five-O, beckoning him to come closer.

Black and White sighed. “I’ll be right back, Miss Fluttershy,” he said kindly to the mare before trotting over to his partner. “Alright, Five-O, whaddya got for me?”

“Well, first off, you DID see the bear in that mare’s cottage, right?” the young stallion whispered conspiratorially.

The Captain rolled his eyes in annoyance. “Yes, I saw the bear, Five-O.”

“Well, bears eat ponies, right?” The Lieutenant went on.

The Captain turned to see Fluttershy’s bear, who was gently consoling his friend along with the other pets. “Five-O, please don’t tell me that you could possibly think that Miss Fluttershy’s bear could POSSIBLY kill that old stallion,” he deadpanned. “I mean, look at that thing! It’s as tame as a pussy-cat!”

The Earth pony looked back at the bear and grinned sheepishly. “Maybe it got mad?” He offered.

“Then why isn’t there any bite marks on the body?” The Captain asked.

“… It has a tooth-ache?”

“You know what, Five-O? Let’s wait for Keen to get here before we straighten things out, shall we?” Black and White sighed, turning back to the mare’s cottage.

“Oh great, the Defective Detective,” the Lieutenant muttered under his breath.

The Captain turned to his partner upon hearing this, his black walrus mustache bristling in indignation. "Is that what they’re calling him now?” he demanded.

Five-O’s ears wilted in fear. “Well, you have to admit, he’s not exactly normal, is he?”

“Look, I’ll be the first guy to tell you that Keen Eye is a few sandwiches short of a full picnic, but the guy’s a genius!” the Captain huffed. “If you had seen him just ten years ago… Well, that’s ancient history now,” he sighed, his anger fading. “Just go pick them up at the train station, and call me when you’re on your way.”

“Yes sir,” Five-O said, standing up straight and saluting.

Meanwhile, Fluttershy had been consoled by her pets when Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie had all come running through the police stallions to talk with their friend. “Goodness, Fluttershy are you alright?” Twilight asked worriedly.

Fluttershy, seeing that her friends were there, quietly sent her animals back into the house. “Yeah, I think I’m okay,” she said quietly. “It’s poor Mr. Chrysanthemum you should worry about…”

“Yes, we heard what happened! It’s absolutely dreadful, isn’t it?” Rarity said with her usual sense of drama. “Just the very thought, a murderer here in Ponyville!”

“This whole town’s on high alert!” Twilight exclaimed. “The guards didn’t even want to let me go out without them for ‘reasons of safety’!” Noticing Fluttershy become even more fearful, she smiled apologetically. “Don’t worry about anything though! The police are here, and everypony in town is looking out for anything suspicious!”

“Just remember, we’ll always be here if y’all need us fer anything,” Applejack added, giving Fluttershy a comforting pat on the back. “In fact, Ah was thinkin’ we should stay around the cottage ‘till this whole thing blows over.”

Pinkie Pie, uncharacteristically subdued, nodded in agreement. “Yeah, and we’ll do whatever it takes to cheer you up!”

Fluttershy smiled softly. “Oh, you guys are the best,” she sighed, pulling in her friend for a hug. “But wait… Where’s Rainbow Dash?”

Applejack snorted in derision. “Said somethin’ about cleanin’ up the streets of Ponyville, or somethin’ like that.”

Rainbow Dash looked down upon Ponyville from a high cloud, her face locked in determination. “A murderer’s loose in town, and only one mare’s got enough awesome to stop him,” she whispered dramatically to herself. Slowly, she pulled on a dark blue mask that only allowed her rainbow mane to flow through. “This looks like a job for… THE AURORA!”

Scootaloo popped behind her, sporting a similar mask. “And don’t forget her sidekick, ULTRAVIOLET!”

Rainbow Dash looked down at Scootaloo in annoyance. “C’mon, Scoots! This is serious superhero stuff! This isn’t a time for little kids!”

“Awww, but Rainbow! You promised!” Scootaloo whined.

“No, I said you could help!” Rainbow corrected. “I never said you could come with me. Besides, how could you possibly do anything other than slow me down?”

“I brought snacks!” The filly declared proudly, pulling out a small satchel filled with hay-cookies.

Rainbow paused for a second, and then grinned under her mask. “Alright then, Ultraviolet! TO THE AURORA CAVE!” And with that, the pegasus zoomed through the air to her cloud-house, a trail of rainbows following her.

Scootaloo, realizing that her idol forgot to carry her once again, hurriedly molded a scooter out of a cloud. “Rainbow Dash, wait for me!” she cried, zipping away quickly after her.

“She’ll snap out of it in a few days, tops,” Applejack assured Fluttershy. “You know how it is with Rainbow.”

Fluttershy giggled. “You know, I have a feeling things are going to be much better from here on out,” she smiled.

Just then, the small form of a purple dragon came puffing up the hill, much to the chagrin of the officers outside. “Good news, everypony!” He puffed, holding a small scroll in his claws. “Princess Celestia just sent me a letter! She says one of the best detectives in all of Equestria is coming to Ponyville!”

Twilight’s eyes widened in surprise. “Really? Let me see!” She demanded, snatching the scroll from the small dragon’s claw.
Dear Twilight,
The guards informed me about the murder that has occurred in Ponyville (I imagine they’ve been extra careful around you lately), and I send my condolences to your friend Fluttershy. However, I have good news: A detective by the name of Keen Eye just happened to be visiting Ponyville, and I’ve had the local police offer him a position in the investigation. Keen Eye is one of the most intelligent unicorns I’ve had the pleasure to meet, and certainly one of the best detectives in Equestria. I know that he will have this straightened out before too long.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia

Rarity’s ears perked up. “Ooh, how marvelous!” She squealed in excitement. “Imagine, Ponyville, the sight of a great mystery!”

“Rarity, I don’t think we should be taking this so lightly,” Twilight said reprovingly. “I mean, this is an actual crime here, not a Sharp Wit novel.”

“Ah agree, Twi. Still, Ah can’t help but feel a mite bit excited,” Applejack confessed, smiling sheepishly. “Ah mean, Ah can almost imagine Sharp Wit himself, walkin’ into Ponyville station with his trusty companion, Dr. Helping Hoof!”

Twilight looked at Applejack in surprise. “Applejack, I had no idea you were such a big fan of Sir Clever Pen’s works!”

“Shoot, Granny would read us the books all the time!” Applejack said modestly. “My favorite was The Hound of the Trottervilles!”

“Really? I always felt that was one of his weaker works… My personal favorite was The Study in Scarlet,” Twilight added.

“Yeah, that one had me hangin’ on to my seat too,” the orange mare admitted.

“Pardon me for interrupting the Sharp Wit book club, but I think we should get back to the subject at hand,” Rarity smirked. “Like for example, the questions that the detective will be asking Fluttershy!”

Fluttershy, who had been quietly enjoying the conversation taking place, gave a start when her name was mentioned. “But the police already asked me a few questions,” she said somewhat worriedly. “He won’t think I’m a suspect, will he?”

“Of course not, darling!” Rarity reassured her pink maned friend. “A lady of your charm and grace, staining her hooves with blood? The very idea!”

“Long as you tell the truth, he’ll know you’re innocent,” Applejack agreed. “You got nothing to worry about!”

Fluttershy smiled, albeit a bit unsurely. “I suppose you’re right… What do you have to say, Pinkie?”

“Hmm?” the pink pony asked, apparently distracted. “Oh yeah, just be super honest with him and it’ll be fine!”

Twilight raised her eyebrow at Pinkie’s uncharacteristic silence. “Are you alright, Pinkie?” She asked. “You seem really kind of… Quiet, I guess.”

“Me? Oh, I’m great!” She said a little too quickly. “Just, uh, thinking about the bakery again! Ooh, I forgot that I left some Cheer-up Chip Cookies in the oven! Gotta go!” The pink pony sped away, looking like a pink blur in the distance.

“Oh dear, I wonder what’s the matter?” Fluttershy asked worriedly.

Spike cracked a grin. “Maybe Pinkie Pie did it!” He snickered.

“Spike!” Twilight said in shock. “This isn’t the time to joke around!”

“But isn’t this how it works?” He asked in a mock ominous voice. “It’s always the one you don’t expect…”

“Really Spike, I expected a little more maturity from you!” Rarity said reprovingly. “This really is quite a serious matter, especially because our friend’s involved!”

“To be fair, we haven’t exactly been all that serious about it,” Applejack reminded the seamstress. “After all, we’ve been romancin’ the crime a little too much.”

Rarity sighed. “You’re right. We ALL have been rather immature about the matter.” She turned to Fluttershy, somewhat abashed. “I’m sorry if we’ve offended you darling.”

“We all are,” Twilight agreed before glaring at Spike. “Right?”

The little dragon blushed in embarrassment. “Yeah, we are…”

“Oh, don’t worry about it!” Fluttershy assured them. “I honestly feel a lot better about this when it doesn’t sound so bad!”

“Well, good! Now, why don’t we all go inside to relax?” Applejack suggested.

Fluttershy smiled. “I think that’s a good idea,” she nodded, and they all went into her cottage.

At Ponyville Station, the most recent train from Canterlot was arriving. As the train stopped, dozens of mares and stallions stepped out of the passenger cars, all hurrying to get to their respective destinations. Like a great bowl, the formerly packed train was emptied of all its occupants.

That is, except for a rather odd looking pair. The first was a pretty young earth-pony mare; or at least, she would have been pretty had she not been straining to drag along a mountain of luggage. Her short blonde mane was frazzled, and her butter-yellow fur bristled under the weight of her cargo. The second was even odder than his companion; a middle aged unicorn stallion in an impeccably clean brown suit. His curly black mane was coiled closely to his head, and his manila fur was completely straight and neat. His cutie mark, an eye encircled by a magnifying glass, peeked out from behind his brown jacket.

The strange stallion peered cautiously from the train cabin. “Be careful, Goldie!” He said worriedly. “You might break something!”

“If you’re so concerned for my safety, Mr. Keen Eye, why don’t you help?” The golden-maned mare groaned, struggling to balance the suitcases.

“Not you! My luggage!” He huffed, circling her like a cautious bird. “I don’t want any of my stuff getting dirty!”

“What did you pack in these things, rocks?” Goldie asked, narrowly avoiding dropping a small briefcase.

“No, just the essentials,” Keen Eye assured her, his eyes never leaving the top of the luggage pile. “My clothes, my hygiene kit, my cleaning kit, my sheets, my tools, my food-“

“You brought a week’s worth of food with you?!” Goldie said incredulously.

“Don’t be ridiculous!” The stallion chuckled nervously. “I wanted to be safe, so I brought a month’s worth!”

The yellow mare gave the stallion a death glare. “Let’s just find a cab and get to the hotel,” she grumbled. “That train ride left me with knots in my back.”

“Oh, there’s one thing I forgot to tell you,” Keen Eye added, suddenly looking guilty. “We have to make a quick stop at this crime scene-“

“Mr. Keen Eye!!” The Goldie seethed. In her anger, she lost balance of the pile of luggage, sending it toppling to the ground. “You promised this would be a vacation!!”

The unicorn yelped in fear and covered his eyes. A light tan aura surrounded the luggage, catching it in the air before the pile hit the ground. Peeking from behind his hooves, the stallion sighed in relief before telekinetically placing his luggage in a neat pile beside him. Turning to his irate assistant, he gave her a sheepish smile. “I know, I know, but this is for an old friend!” He pleaded. “I used to work in this town, and he’s a captain in the police here. I promise, it’ll just be a quick consultation and that’s it.”

Seeing her boss’ sincerity, Goldie sighed in defeat. “Fine, just a quick consultation.” Turning to her boss, she gave him a steely eye. “But after that, no more police work for the whole trip, is that clear?”

“Yes ma’am” Keen Eye said meekly.

Goldie smiled a little before turning to the neat pile of luggage sitting right next to her employer. “Wait a second, why didn’t you just carry your luggage yourself with your magic?!” She asked incredulously.

Before Keen could stammer out a response, a young green stallion in a police uniform trotted into the station. “Are you two Keen Eye and Heart of Gold?” He asked.

The older stallion jumped to the occasion. “Yes, that’s us!” He said a little too loudly.

“Well, my name’s Five-O,” the young police-stallion continued, “Captain Black and White sent me here to escort you to the crime scene.” Eyeing the pile of suitcases next to them, he inwardly groaned. “Would you like help with your luggage?” He asked, struggling to keep his polite official demeanor.

“No, that’s alright; Goldie’s got it covered,” Keen smiled.

The yellow mare glared daggers at the unicorn stallion before turning to Five-O with a grateful smile. “I’d love some help, thanks.”

Five-O whistled and three other police-stallions came trotting out from the entrance. “We’ll take these to the carriage outside,” a gruff grey stallion assured them as he grabbed three suitcases roughly. “After we finish up with the crime scene, we’ll escort you to your hotel.”

“Careful!” Keen Eye yelped, horrified at the abuse that his bags were going through.

Five-O rolled his eyes. This is gonna be a loooong investigation, he thought to himself.

Author's Note

I shall bestow the greatest of props to he (or she) who can give tell me who Mr. Keen and Goldie are based off of!