The Ballad of Xyclone

Everfree Forest, Equestria, midnight

After a while, Applejack started yawning.

"Y'know, if you're tired, feel free to go to a tent," I told her. "There are plenty of them. And don't worry. If any timberwolves attack, I'll hold them off!" I joked.

"Thank ya kindly, Xyclone," replied Applejack, yawning wearily. "Thanks fer the advice. G'night."

"Goodnight, Applejack," I said to her as she entered a tent. "We'll continue the journey tomorrow." With Applejack having gone to bed, I turned back to the fire to roast another marshmallow. I was the only one still awake; I was glad. I finally had some time to think; some time to reflect on all that had happened within the past few days. I was still somewhat in disbelief. I kept thinking that I was going to wake up at any second, revealing this all to be a crazy dream. I shook my head. One week ago, I was just a ugly boring human teenager living an ugly boring human life with no ugly boring human friends. Now I was a handsome stallion in Equestria with some really great friends. How could this have even happened? I didn't even know how the portal appeared. Although, I was awfully glad it did. I never would have met Lyra if the portal hadn't showed up. Lyra, possibly the most wonderful girl I'd ever met. There I went, dreaming about her. I started to realize the truth: I really did have a crush on Lyra. Everything Applejack had told me about Rarity was just like how I was feeling about Lyra; I couldn't stop thinking about her. My mind automatically turned its attention towards Rarity and Applejack then. Applejack had just revealed to me that she really, really cared for Rarity. Even Rarity told me that she herself has some feelings for Applejack. I wanted to tell them so bad about how they feel about each other, but I couldn't. I'd made a promise to both of them not to tell anyone; a Pinkie Promise, no less. I had to figure out a way to get them alone together so that they could tell each other how they both feel. I pondered this predicament for quite a while, when I suddenly heard rustling coming from Rarity's tent. After about a minute, she exited her tent. She was wearing furry pajamas, her mane was frizzled, and she had bags under her eyes. She looked horrible.

"X-Xyclone?" she asked me. "You're still up?"

I nodded.

"I-I can't sleep," she whined. "Something's been on my mind and I haven't been able to concentrate on resting."

"Is it Applejack?" I asked sympathetically.

Rarity looked over at me, then back down at the ground. "...Y-Yes..." she stammered nervously. "How did you know?"

"Oh, just a wild guess."

Rarity then dragged herself over to me and sat down. "Xyclone, she's all I ever think about. Never before has a pony been on my mind so much. When I was obsessed with meeting Prince Blueblood, it was faint, but once I got over him, Applejack became my main fascination. When I'm working, I think of her. When I'm eating, I think of her. When I'm sleeping, I dream of her. I dream about that darling orange coat, I dream about those beautiful emerald eyes, I dream about that fine yellow mane...Xyclone, darling...I-I think I love her." Rarity looked concerned.

"Well, what's wrong with that?" I asked her.

"'What's wrong?!'" she cried. "'What's wrong?!' Xyclone, do you know what happens to a mare when they're found out to be a filly-fooler?"

"...W-What?"

"They're banished, Xyclone," she said.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I didn't know that homosexuality was such an abhorred act here. This place is like freaking Russia! Applejack just told me that filly-foolers would become outcasts. She didn't say anything about banishment. "I didn't know Equestria was so harsh with that kind of stuff. I thought this land was all about love and tolerance...a-and friendship..."

"It's sometimes not as happy as you think, dear," continued Rarity. "Most ponies here think the only acceptable relationship is between a mare and a stallion. It's the reason that marriages between two mares or two stallions, whom of which are called 'colt-cuddlers', are illegal here."

I was literally speechless. I lost a little respect for Princess Celestia then.

"A-At least...that's what I've heard," Rarity went on. "I actually don't know if any ponies have been banished, I just overheard it somewhere. But even if it was legal, I could never tell Applejack how I feel for her. She would just laugh in my face and call me a filly-fooler!"

This is starting to seem uncannily similar to what AJ told me, I thought to myself.

"Not only that," Rarity went on. "She would never love somepony such as me. She would think I'm too fancy, too prissy, and too...'persnickety', as she herself so adorably puts it. I just really love her honesty. Her soul is just magnificent."

I didn't know what to say. I never would have guessed that ponies could be banished just for being gay. I looked over at Rarity. Like Applejack, she, too, began to cry. I had to tell her something. I wanted to help her. "W-Well, you know, there's a popular expression in my world," I said.

"Oh? And what's that, dear?" asked Rarity.

"'Opposites attract.' Just tell her, Rar'. Who knows? Maybe AJ carries some sentiments towards you as well!"

Rarity sniffled, drying her eyes. "Oh, that's really nice of you for trying to cheer me up, darling, but we both know that's not true. Applejack may be a tompony, but she's in no way interested in other mares..." Her voice trailed off and broke. "...Unfortunately."

I hugged her comfortingly. "Hey, hey, don't worry! Everything's gonna be alright, okay, Rarity? Now, just go back to bed and try and get some sleep. We're packing up and moving on tomorrow."

Rarity sniffled again. "Th-Thank you, Xyclone. I swear to Celestia, darling, I think you're probably the most kind and caring pony I've ever had the pleasure of speaking to."

"Thank you, Rarity; I try."

As Rarity returned to her tent, I returned to the fire. I laid down on one of the wooden logs we had set up as benches and gazed into the night sky. I sighed deeply as I inspected all the stars that were within my vision. I began to think about my own mortality. Would I ever make it back home? Do I even want to? Then I thought about Rarity and Applejack again. I never knew that gay marriage was banned in Equestria. I also never knew that Rarity and Applejack adored each other so much. It was ridiculous; All that fan-art I saw of Rarity and Applejack kissing and loving each other...they were all right. I didn't even realize that I had begun to yawn. My vision slowly grew darker and darker as my eyelids became heavy and I drifted off to sleep after a very long, crazy, and adventurous day.