The Ballad of Xyclone

Deep in the Everfree Forest, early morning

I didn't even realize that I had fallen asleep. I woke up to the "soothing" voice of Vinyl Scratch.

"HEY, BRO, GET THE HECK UP ALREADY!"

I groaned sluggishly as I sat up. I noticed that I had fallen off the log and was sleeping in the dirt.

"You know, this wakin' you up thing is startin' to get old, dude!" joked Vinyl.

I discovered that it was about 7:30 in the morning. I turned around to see that everyone was awake. Rainbow Dash, Lyra, and Applejack were rolling up the tents while everypony else (Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Octavia, Rarity, Bon-Bon, and Derpy) was eating breakfast around the campfire. They were all laughing at Pinkie Pie, who was telling a funny story to the ponies; All of them except Rarity. She was too busy ogling Applejack, a dreamy look on her face, smiling shyly. Seeing these two ponies in love was adorable. It was too bad that they couldn't be together.

"You were so deep in sleep, we started to think you'd died!" joked Vinyl again.

I suddenly realized that Twilight wasn't around. "Where's Twilight?" I asked Vinyl. "Oh, she's over there," she replied, pointing to Twilight's tent, in which Twilight herself was sitting in front of.

Something seemed...different about her. She had a deranged look on her face. Her eyes were wide, her mane ratted, her smile psychotic. She looked just like she did in the episode "Lesson Zero", when she was obsessed with getting a letter to Princess Celestia.

She was rubbing her hooves together like some sort of maniac.

"We don't know what the hay's wrong with the girl," Vinyl spoke up. "She's been staring at you like that ever since she woke up. We tried asking her what's wrong, but she hasn't said anything yet. She's just sat there, menacingly, twiddling her hooves and giggling crazily. She's really starting to worry us. Anyway, Lyra's been wanting to talk to you. Something about magic lessons. She's over there, helping take the tents down."

I trotted sleepily over to where Vinyl Scratch pointed me to, and Lyra and Applejack greeted me warmly. Rainbow didn't say anything. She was lost in her thoughts, a melancholy smile on her face. I didn't know why.

"Well, good morning, sleepyhead!" Lyra said playfully.

"Hey, Lyra," I said shyly.

"Are you ready for your first magic lesson, Xyclone?"

"What, already?" I whined.

"W-Well, i-if you don't want to, w-we can always wait until later," interjected Lyra, blushing.

"N-No, that's fine, you can t-teach me now," I replied, also blushing.

Lyra smiled effeminately. "Just let me finish taking down this tent and we'll start, okay?"

"O-Okay." I went and sat down next to Rarity. We both gazed dreamily at our crushes. I was then interrupted by Pinkie Pie.

"Hey, Xyclone?" she asked me, a serious tone in her voice.

"Oh, hi, Pinkie. What's wrong? You look worried."

"I-I am worried...about Twilight. Nopony knows what's wrong with her. I even asked Spike, but he doesn't know either. She hasn't stopped glaring at you, so I thought you might know what's wrong."

"I-I'm sorry, Pinkie, but I haven't any clue."

"I just wanted to ask you if you knew. Just keep an eye on her, okay?"

"Don't worry, I will. Thanks for the head's up. And cheer up, why don't you, Pinkie? I don't like you being all serious and stuff. It's just not you."

Pinkie smiled in agreement. "Okie-Dokie-Lokie!" she replied. "Hey!" she called back to the other ponies at the campfire. "Who wants to hear another story?!" she asked. Everyone cheered.

A short time later, Lyra finished helping Applejack and Rainbow with the tents and trotted over to me, and we began our lesson.

"Now, let's start with something simple. You see that twig there?" she said pointing to a small stick nearby.

"Yeah," I replied.

"Okay. Now, I want you to concentrate on that twig. Picture it in your head; Picture it lifting up."

I closed my eyes, focusing all my attention onto the twig.

"Are you doing it?" asked Lyra. "Are you concentrating?"

"Yes," I said, grunting with effort. "I'm...trying..." I opened my eyes. The twig hadn't moved a single inch. "It didn't work," I told Lyra.

"That's fine. It doesn't usually work on the first attempt. Now try again. Remember; focus all your concentration on the twig."

I closed my eyes and tried again. I began to sweat as I once again attempted to move the stick with magic. I never knew this would be so difficult. I once again opened my eyes to see what I had accomplished. The twig was still in the exact same place. "Oh, come on!" I panted. "Why is it so hard to move such a small object?!"

Lyra stifled a chuckle. "Calm down, Xyclone. Practice makes perfect. Keep on trying." I sighed and tried again. "HNNNNNGGG!!!" I groaned, my face reddening from the heavy amount of effort. Still, the stick refused to budge. "Oh...this...is...hope...less!" I panted in between breaths.

"Again," went Lyra.

Try after try after try I attempted to move the twig. And try after try after try I failed at doing so. Disappointed, I looked up at Lyra. I felt like crying. I was just about ready to quit.

"Don't worry, Xyclone! These things take time. You can't learn everything in a day! Just keep on trying; You'll get the hang of this eventually!"

There was something about Lyra's comforting voice that drove me to continue. I once again tried to move the stick. My legs trembled as I started to feel something I'd never felt before. I didn't know what it was, but it was exhilarating. Sparks flew from my horn as I then collapsed to the ground, exhausted.

"Oh, my goodness, Xyclone! Are you okay?!" exclaimed Lyra.

I struggled to turn my head toward the stick. It still didn't move. "This...this...is...im...possible!" I wheezed.

"No, it's not!" corrected Lyra. "I saw your horn! I saw sparks! You almost had it! Sparks flying from your horn is a good sign! We've made some progress!"

I was unable to speak; I was out of breath. I just panted heavily.

Lyra laughed. "Well, I think that concludes our lesson for today!"

I dropped my head to the ground, relieved. I was glad that I had at least made a little progress. I just laid there on the ground for the rest of the morning while everyone else packed up.

A little while later, I awoke to the calming voice of Applejack. I didn't know that I had fallen asleep...again.

"Hey, sleepin' beauty, wake up! It's time ta go!"

I noticed that it was the middle of the day. "Jeez, how long was I asleep?" I asked.

"About four hours," Vinyl spoke up. "You're such a sound sleeper, dude. How do you do it?"

I smiled jokingly. Then I yawned again. "I'm still so sleepy. Lyra's magic lesson sapped all my energy."

Applejack smiled understandingly. "Well, if you'd like, you could ride in mah cart with all the tents and campin' stuff."

Are you sure?" I yawned. "Would you be able to pull all that weight?"

"Of course!" replied Applejack. "Xyclone, Ah kick trees fer a livin'. Don't y'all worry 'bout me! I insist!"

"Well, if you insist..." Applejack strapped on the cart and I crawled into the back of it. I curled up into a little ball and quickly dozed off. As I slept, I dreamt about Lyra again. There was no doubt in my mind anymore; I was falling in love with her.

I woke up a few hours later. It was now the middle of the afternoon. I moaned quietly. I felt refreshed now. Applejack turned around to see me starting to stir.

"Oh, welcome back, Xy! Y'all feelin' better now?"

"Yeah," I replied. "Thank you for the ride. I can move on my own from now on!" I joked, getting off Applejack's cart. All of a sudden, Twilight appeared right in front of me, blocking my path. She still had a psychotic look on her face.

"HELLO, XYCONE," she said to me, giggling frantically, her face twitching. "HOW ARE YOU?" Twilight tilted her head in a direction I didn't think it could go and smiled creepily, then she started chuckling again.

"Um...f-fine?" I stammered, trying to move around her.

"GOOD, GOOD," said Twilight. She was really starting to creep me out. "IT'S NICE TO SEE THAT EVERYONE'S FRIEND IS DOING FINE!" She once again started giggling maniacally. "WELL, I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER...BEST FRIEND! HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE!" Twilight slipped out of my way and finally let me by. She watched me as I trotted past her, that same psychotic grin on her face.

"Well, that sure was weird," I said to myself. I thought about the dream I'd just had with Lyra. I had to talk to someone. Unfortunately, nopony here was in a serious relationship, so they couldn't really give me any advice. Then I realized: There's a popular headcanon in the MLP fandom saying that Derpy Hooves and Doctor Whooves are married. And when Lyra introduced me to Doctor Whooves, he implied that he and Derpy live together. So I trotted up to Derpy, who was walking on the ground, due to her clumsiness at flying. "Derpy, can I ask you something?" I said as I approached her.

"Of course! What is it?"

"I need some advice, and you're the only pony who can help me."

"Wow, you want my advice? Nopony's ever asked for my advice before!"

"Really?! I'm surprised; you're a whole lot smarter than everyone thinks you are!"

Derpy blushed. "You...you really mean that?"

"Heck yeah I do!"

"It's just that a lot of ponies think I'm mentally deficient just because my eyes look like this and because I'm really clumsy. It's not my fault I was born this way!" Derpy began to get emotional.

I put a hoof around her shoulders and hugged her. "Well, I think you're fine just the way you are, Derpy."

"Th-Thank you, Xyclone. Now what was it you needed my advice on?"

"Do you promise not to tell her?"

"Tell who?"

"Just promise, please."

"Okay, I promise. Now who is it?!"

"It's Lyra. I think I may have a crush on her."

"Oh, silly!" laughed Derpy all of a sudden.

"What?"

"I kinda already knew that!"

"WHAT?! ...I-Is it really that obvious...?"

Derpy put a hoof on my shoulder this time. "I'm afraid so," she smiled. "The way you act around her...you're clumsier than I am sometimes! And judging from the way Lyra acts around you, I think she may have a crush on you, too!"

"No, that's impossible," I said. "We're just friends; really...good...friends."

"Oh, sure!" said Derpy sarcastically. "Trust me, Xyclone, I know these things."

"I should've known you'd see through my feelings."

"Oh? And how is that? Why did you need my advice anyway?"

"You're married to The Doctor, aren't you?"

"...Yeah, but how did you—?"

"Oh, I have my ways of knowing things," I chuckled confidently. "Anyway, the reason I wanted your advice is because I figured, since you're married to Doctor Whooves, you'd know how to help me with my problem."

"Well, I can try," said Derpy. "How does Lyra make you feel? Does she make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Does she fill your stomach full of butterflies? Does she make you feel glad to be alive?"

"Yes. Yes to all of those questions. She's one of the most caring souls I've ever met. Ever since the day we met, I knew we had some sort of special connection. I look into her beautiful golden eyes and I feel...I feel like I'm home." I sighed dreamily.

"Yep. You're in love, all right. That's almost exactly how I felt when I first met The Doctor."

"I just don't know what to do. I'm terrified of telling her. I'm afraid of what she might say."

"You know what I think you should do? Just go up to her and plant a big, wet, sloppy kiss on her face. That's what I did to The Doctor; Worked like a charm!"

"Are you sure?" I asked Derpy.

"Yes, I'm sure! Come on, Xyclone, have I ever been wrong before?"

"Um...yes, actually. Lots of times."

"Please, just trust me on this one," said Derpy.

"Okay, I will." I hugged Derpy then. "Thanks for the advice, DH. I knew you could help me."

"No, thank you, Xyclone. Thank you for being so nice to me when nopony else has. Thank you for having faith in me." The two of us hugged once more.