The Ballad of Xyclone

Nashville, Tennessee, early morning

It was just a normal, boring morning at my place. I was lying back on my bed eating breakfast and listening to music. All of a sudden, a huge, blinding flash of white light appeared next to my laptop. I was so taken aback by it that I rolled off my bed. Massive storm-force gales came from the light, blowing my schoolwork and homework papers everywhere. I struggled to get up and approach the light. The winds grew stronger and pushed me back farther as the light began to flash and distort violently. I had absolutely no idea what was happening and almost started to panic. After several seconds, the light calmed a little bit, but it was now several times wider than it was before. Through the haze, I could clearly see a room that looked exactly like that of Twilight Sparkle’s library, but I still was unsure. Suddenly, I could have sworn I saw the mane 6 come into view. I thought to myself, I must be seeing things. This must be a dream. Then I heard a voice:

“H-Hello? I-Is anypony there?” It was Twilight Sparkle’s. She began to come closer through the light. “S-Sunset Shimmer? I-Is that you?”

I was beyond words. The alicorn princess Twilight Sparkle was standing in my room.

“Who are you?” she asked.

I said nothing.

Suddenly Pinkie Pie came bouncing through the light into my room, followed by the rest of the mane 6. “Ooh, you’re the strangest-looking pony I’ve ever seen! As a matter of fact, you don’t look like a pony at all! What are you? Are you a chimicherrychanga? I love chimicherrychangas! It’s such a fun word to say! Just like pickle barrel kumquat! Pickle barrel kumquat, pickle barrel kumquat, pickle barrel kumquat, chimicherrychanga!” Pinkie started hopping in circles around me.

“…” I still said nothing.

“…Pickle barrel kumquat, pickle barrel kumquat—”

“Pinkie!” yelled Twilight, silencing the hyperactive pink pony. “Uh, excuse me, sir. I asked who you are?”

“T-T-Twilight…S-S-Sparkle…” I stammered.

Pinkie gasped. “Your name’s Twilight, too?! Did you hear that, Twilight? He has the same name as you! What a coincidence! BUT WAIT! Two Twilights?! How am I going to tell the difference?!”

“T-T-Twilight S-Sparkle is s-s-standing in m-my r-room…” I said, shivering in disbelief.

“Yes, but—"

“Ohhh…” I groaned as I fainted, collapsing to the floor with a deep thud.

As I began to regain consciousness, I heard a familiar voice:

“…Hey! Yo! Wake up! Hello…? Dude, seriously! Get up!”

I slowly began to open my eyes. “Ugh…what happened…?” I asked.

“I asked for your name and you passed out,” I heard Twilight say.

I finally opened my opened my eyes. I could not believe what I was seeing. There, glaring down at me, was DJ PON3, Ponyville’s finest DJ. “O-Oh, my God! Y-You’re DJ PON3!! OH MY GOD,  I LOVE YOU!!!” I fangirled so hard.

“Why, yes, I—”

Before she could even say anything, I started touching her just to see if she was real, that she was really standing in my presence. I inspected her coat and ran my fingers through her neon blue mane. She suddenly jumped back. “Hey! Whoa! As least take me out to dinner first, dude! Jeez!”

“Oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry! Did I hurt you?!” I panicked. I didn’t want to upset her. She was my favorite pony, after all.

“Naw, don’t sweat it, dude, I’m fine. And please, call me Vinyl Scratch!” she said. “I assume you’ve heard of me, huh?” she asked sarcastically. I nodded. “But wait…how do you know me? What the hay are you, anyway?” she asked me suspiciously.

“That’s what I—” Twilight began, walking up to me. But before she was able to finish, she was interrupted by yet another familiar voice:

“That’s what I would like to know.” There, gliding through the light into my room…was Princess Celestia. Accompanying her was her sister, Princess Luna. Everyone, both on my side of the light and the Equestria side, bowed. Even I bowed.

I began thinking, Am I dreaming? They seem so real! “You’re Princess Celestia! A-And you’re Princess Luna!” I said.

Celestia began to speak to me with her wonderfully majestic voice. “Yes, you are correct. But now it is time for me to ask the questions.”

I stared in awe at the princess.

“Who and what are you? Why are you here? And how do you know me, Luna, Twilight, and Vinyl Scratch?”

“Oh, I don’t just know you four; I know all of you!” I replied. I then named off all the ponies I could see. “Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity…” I noticed Spike and what looked like Octavia in the back. She must have come here with Vinyl, I thought. “…Spike and Octavia,” I finished.

Vinyl suddenly got angry. She got all up in my face and yelled at me. It…was…awesome!

“HOW DO YOU KNOW WHO OCTAVIA IS?!” she screamed at me.

“Yeah, you better explain yourself pronto, or else!” said Rainbow Dash, finally speaking up.

“Well…?” interrogated Princess Celestia.

“Okay, here’s the story…” I began. “My name is Skyler and I…I am not from your world. I’m not even from your universe. I am from a planet called ‘Earth’. I am part of a race of beings called ‘humans’. I’m sure Pinkie has—” I suddenly heard a pony in the distance shout something that I could barely make out:

“DID SOMEPONY SAY ‘HUMAN’?!”

“Lyra, wait!” another voice called out.

I ignored it and continued with my explanation. “Um…I’m sure Pinkie has mentioned humans before but you probably thought she was ‘Just being Pinkie’. Well, I assure you that humans are real. And I am one of them.”

Then Pinkie Pie spoke up and said something. “Well that word does sound familiar…I think I heard it from another pony, her name was Lyric or Lawnmower or something…”

“Lyra?” I asked.

“Yes! That’s her name! I knew I heard that word before—"

“HUMANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” A turquoise flash suddenly darted into view. It knocked some of the ponies over as it flew into the library and through the bright light. Before I had a chance to move out of the way, the flash hit me right in the chest, pushing me back a few feet. I hit my head on my bed frame.

“Oh, my goodness!” Fluttershy cried. “A-Are you okay, Skyler?”

I groaned painfully. “Ow…yes, I’m fine, but—” I paused, looking up at what had hit me.

It was Lyra Heartstrings. She was standing on my chest, panting like a dog. “Are you a human?” she asked me.

“Uh, y-yes? L-Lyra? I-Is that you?” I asked back.

Lyra froze for a moment.

“Um…are you okay, Lyra—?” I asked again.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she squealed. “OHMIGOSHOHMIGOSHOHMIGOSHOHMIGOSHOHMIGOSH!!!!!”

“Hey!” shouted Rainbow Dash. “That’s my line!”

“OH, MY GOSH!! A HUMAN!! THEY’RE REAL!! IN YOUR FACE, BON-BON!”

“Uh, Lyra—?”

“AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! A HUMAN KNOWS MY NAME!!!!!! THIS. IS. SO… AWESOME!!!”

“HEY!” Rainbow Dash cut in again.

“Oh, my gosh, can I have your autograph?!” Lyra continued on, holding a notepad up to me.

“Uh…s-sure…” I grabbed a pen and signed my insignia on her notepad. I then gave it back to her. The look on her face when I gave it back to her was that of a 12-year-old’s at a Justin Beiber concert. Seeing her look so happy made me feel happy…happy in a way I’d never felt before…strange. I pushed the weird thoughts out of my head. I was so lost in my daydreaming that I didn’t even realize that Lyra was trying to pull me through the portal.

“…Oh, my gosh—” Lyra looked at her notepad to see what my name was. “S-Skyler? That’s your name? Wow, humans have even girlier names than us ponies!”

Damn it, I thought. Even in Equestria I have a terrible name.

As Lyra started pulling me through the light, I started feeling really strange. It’s impossible for me to explain. It was a unique sensation I’d never felt before. As Twilight’s library became clearer and clearer, I could feel my body changing. I felt myself start to grow...fur? I felt my nose and mouth begin to elongate. I could feel a horn growing on my forehead; My eyes widened. When we finally entered the library, I lost the ability to feel my hands and feet. I began panicking. What was happening? What was I becoming? I looked down and saw that both my hands and feet had turned into hooves. Hooves! I suddenly lost my balance and dropped down on all fours, as if habitually. I turned around and saw that I had grown a beautiful blue and yellow tail. Then it all came together.

I was now a pony.

I looked past my tail and saw that the other ponies had followed me and Lyra back through the portal. I turned around to see Lyra staring intently at me, not saying a word. I looked down at my hooves. I felt the horn on my head. “Am…A-Am I a…p-pony?” Lyra still didn’t say anything. I looked back up at her. I then felt something else. I had never felt this feeling before either. I stared at Lyra, inspecting her with my eyes. It felt like something was different about her, but I know she was still exactly the same as she was just moments ago. Yet something was still different. It was like she had somehow become way more attractive. I looked her up and down. I stared at her beautiful turquoise mane, her wonderful golden eyes, and her magnificent sea-foam-green coat. What was I thinking?! “Beautiful turquoise mane”? “Wonderful golden eyes”? One thing was for sure: I had never felt this way about any human girl before. I opened my mouth and began to speak. “U-Uh…y-you’re m-mane looks r-really n-n-nice t-today, L-Lyra,” I said, my words stumbling. Lyra grinned softly and began to blush. Had I embarrassed her? I actually started feeling terrible about myself. I suddenly heard Celestia clear her throat, freeing me from my thoughts.

“Now,” she said, “You were explaining yourself to us?”

“O-Oh, yeah. Right,” I chuckled nervously. The mane 6—as well as the princesses, Spike, and the others—sat down as I continued my story. “Yes, I am, in fact, a human…” I looked at Lyra as I said that, and she smiled giddily as I did. “…From the planet Earth. See, my world is very different from yours.” I looked at Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. “In my world, the weather isn’t controlled by Pegasus ponies. It happens due to the planet’s position in the solar system and the rotation of the Earth’s axis.” I then looked at Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. “In my world, the sun and moon aren’t raised and lowered by magic. They, too, are controlled by the Earth’s position and planetary rotation.” The ponies ooh’d and aah’d at my story. I was surprised they were actually believing it. Eventually, I finished my story, leaving the ponies speechless.

“So lemme get this straight,” said Applejack finally. “You mean t’ tell us that in your world, our lives are just part of a popular television show called ‘My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic’?”

“Yep,” I replied.

“…A-An’ the show is intended for young-uns, a-a-an’ you’re a member of an adult male fanbase of th’ show?”

“Yep."

“An’ you’re called a…‘brony’?”

“That’s right.”

“O-Oh my…So you know all about our lives?”

“Correct. Ever since the day Twilight first came to Ponyville.”

“Whoa, dude, this is just plain trippy,” said Vinyl Scratch. “I need to stop smokin’ those poison joke flowers.”

“I’m telling you all the honest truth, I swear,” I said. “And I know what you’re all thinking. I know why the princesses are here.” The ponies looked confused.

“You think of me as the enemy. But I assure you, I mean no harm to you or your world. I promise. I…” I looked over at Pinkie Pie with a reassuring look on my face. “Pinkie promise.”

Pinkie still looked unsure.

I walked—I’m sorry, trotted—up to her and hugged her. “Please, Pinkie? Give me a chance,” I begged her. She smiled.

“O-Okay,” she said. “But don’t be getting any bright ideas!”

I chuckled. “You got it!” The two of us continued hugging for a few more seconds. Then I asked, “Now…who wants to give me a tour of Ponyvile?!”

“ME!” shouted both Pinkie and Lyra at the same time. The two of them glared angrily at each other.

“Come on, both of you can do it. The rest of you can come, too!” I said happily. Everyone except for Twilight and the princesses cheered. Twilight was hesitant.

“Come on, Twah, aren’t ya comin’?” asked Applejack.

“Yes, do come on, darling,” said Rarity. “Let us give a warm welcome to our new guest!”

Twilight looked up at Celestia. “Go with them,” Celestia said. “I don’t trust this Skyler character any more that you do. Keep a watchful eye on him.”

“You got it, Princess!” replied Twilight. “I’ll bring the Elements of Harmony just in case.” With that, Twilight ran out of the library after me and the others.