The Ballad of Xyclone

Canterlot, Equestria, midday

Mid-level volume chatter is heard throughout the party at Rarity's wedding. Xyclone, wearing a fancy tuxedo, his long neon-blue-and-yellow mane combed back, is standing next to his friend Twilight. She too is dressed with sophistication. Xyclone glares at Rarity's fiancé Prince Blueblood, who is talking to a few other classy ponies at the salad bar. "So...remind me why Rarity is marrying this jerkface again?" Xyclone asks Twilight.

"Well, don't you remember when he came back a couple of months ago?" the purple princess replies. "He approached Rarity on his hooves and knees, begging for her forgiveness and he claimed that he was a changed stallion. He gave her a couple of generic, cliché compliments and Rarity was putty in his hooves. She was so touched that she decided to give him another chance, and here we are."

"He works fast," says Xyclone. "He already proposed to her and everything. I say that's suspicious."

"Yeah, that is a little fishy..." ponders Twilight.

"Although, he seems like he's telling the truth...he's been really nice both to Rarity and everypony else."

"Yeah, but...I still sense that something's not right here..."

"It can't be that bad," assures Xyclone. "I mean, it can't be as bad as Queen Chrysalis and King Sombra dating, right?!" he jokes.

Twilight chuckles. "I suppose you're correct!" she says. "Something else I've noticed, though: Applejack has been acting strangely ever since Blueblood returned. Look at her over there." Twilight gestures over to where Applejack is. She is wearing a depressing black dress, like something you would wear to a funeral. She covers her face with her hat, choking back tears. "She looks so sad."

Xyclone chuckles nervously, his eyes darting around skeptically. "Y-Yeah. Sh-She has been acting pretty strange!"

"Rarity's been acting pretty weird since the Prince's return, too..." wonders Twilight.

Xyclone begins to sweat. Numerous thoughts run through his head: "If you tell anypony this, I swear to Celestia, I will *kill** you."*

"Everypony here has been acting crazy lately," continues Twilight.

Xyclone keeps grinning nervously. "Can you promise not ta tell anypony?"

Just then, the organ begins playing and Princess Celestia approaches the end of the red carpet. "Ooh, it's starting!" exclaims Twilight giddily. "C'mon, Xyclone! Let's find our seats!"

With Twilight's help, Xyclone finds his seat, right next to his marefriend Lyra. Xyclone stares sadly at Applejack as she approaches the stage. Rarity had chosen her to be her bridesmaid. Xyclone could see that Applejack had put her hat back on, revealing her running mascara, sloppy from her sobbing. Prince Blueblood, who was already standing there waiting for Rarity to come up the aisle, smirks evilly at Applejack. She glares angrily back at him.

That didn't look good, Xyclone says to himself, noticing the altercation.

Just then, the organist starts to play "The Bridal March." Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle hop down the walk-up, placing flower petals as they do. Then Rarity, accompanied by her father, makes her way down the aisle. Xyclone looks back at Applejack, who watches her ex-marefriend come down the aisle, a sweet smile on her face. She wipes her eyes with her hoof to clear away the tears. Rarity and Applejack make eye contact when Rarity reaches the stage. They both smile and bush at each other when they do. Rarity then turns to face Prince Blueblood. Applejack suddenly leans in and whispers into Rarity's ear: "Y-You l-look absolutely s-stunnin', darlin'," she stammers shyly.

"Thank you, dear," replies Rarity.

Princess Celestia then recites the vows: "We are gathered here today to join Little Miss Rarity and my nephew, Prince Blueblood, in heavenly matrimony..."

By the time the Princess reaches the end of the vows, Applejack is once again struggling to keep herself from crying. She takes her hat back off and recovers her face with it. "The rings, please," says Celestia. Button Mash (also dressed in a nice suit) trots up and presents Celestia with the rings. She turns to her nephew. "Do you, Prince Blueblood, take Miss Rarity here to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, until death do you part?"

"I do," grins the Prince smugly.

"And do you, Rarity, take Blueblood, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, until death do you part?"

Rarity hesitates. A concerned look on her face, she looks out towards the crowd. Then she looks back at Applejack, quietly sobbing behind her hat. Rarity closes her eyes and stares at the ground. "N-No," she stutters finally. The crowd gasps. Blueblood and Applejack stare at her blankly.

"No?" Princess Celestia asks, confused.

"I'm-I'm sorry, Prince Blueblood, but I can't marry you."

"What?! Why not?!" asks the Prince angrily.

"There...There is another."

The audience gasps again. "What do you mean, 'There is another'?!?!"

"I love someone else!" blurts Rarity, looking down again. "I've kept this a secret for far too long, and it's time ponies knew. I just can't hide it anymore." Rarity turns around and wraps her hoof around Applejack. "This!" She proclaims loud enough for everyone to hear. "This pony right here! This is the mare I love!" Applejack gasps and stares at Rarity in shock. "I love Applejack!!"

Prince Blueblood takes a step back, a look of pure disgust on his face. "B-But...you're both mares..." he says, followed by a huge gasp. "YOU—YOU TWO ARE FILLY-FOOLERS!!!" he cries aloud, pointing to them. The guests gasp yet again.

"Is this true?" booms the Princess, walking up to the two ponies.

Rarity holds Applejack. "Yes, Princess, this is the pure truth. I love Applejack and she loves me..." she looks over at her and smiles sincerely. "At least...I hope she does..."

Applejack smiles and gives Rarity a quick little peck on the side of her cheek.

"You do know that such types of behavior are not tolerated here, right...?" Celestia glares.

"Y-Yes...Yes I do..."

"...And you do know what must be done to ponies who exhibit these types of actions..."

Rarity's eyes well up with tears. "Yes...I-I do. But I don't care what happens or where you send us! As long as I'm with Applejack, I know I'll be okay." Applejack beams and once again hugs Rarity tightly.

"I can't take it anymore," Xyclone says to Lyra. "I can't just sit here and watch my friends get banished! I've got to do something!" Suddenly, Xyclone gets up and runs down the aisle.

"Xyclone, wait!" Lyra calls out after him.

"Well, then, I'm afraid I have no other choice," Princess Celestia says to Rarity and Applejack as she unfurls her wings. Her eyes start to glow bright white.

"H-Hold me, darlin'..." Applejack whimpers, hiding behind Rarity.

"STOP!!!" shouts Xyclone as he reaches the stage. Celestia pauses, and Xyclone steps in front of the two homosexual ponies. "Stop right there!"

"Xyclone, I going to need you to step aside," warns the princess. "This matter does not concern you."

"As a matter of fact, it does," responds Xyclone. "You see, I was the first one these two told when they couldn't hide the fact that they had crushes on each other anymore. I knew they loved each other even before they themselves did!"

Celestia's eyes return to normal and she retracts her wings slightly. "R-Really...?" she asks in awe.

"Yeah! Look, when I first came to Equestria, I thought this land was all about love...a-and friendship! I quickly discovered that that wasn't entirely true when Rarity told me that ponies that are seen loving the same gender are banished, and that homosexuality isn't legal here. And that's what I don't understand! I love Equestria, I really do. I'm glad I came here. But why would you want to taint such a wonderful land by enforcing such a ridiculous rule? Why must you put limitations on love? Love is still love! Whether it's between a mare and a stallion, a mare and another mare, or a stallion and a stallion! I must admit, when Rarity told me that, I lost a lot of respect for you then, Princess. I thought you were better than that." After his speech, Xyclone glares stoically at the Princess.

Celestia finally retracts her wings. She has a look of horror on her face. "By Odin's Beard...you're-you're right. What have I done?" The Princess looks as if she is about to cry. She turns around and trots over to the nearest stained-glass window and gazes out of it. "My whole life, I always thought that same-sex marriage was sinful...and wrong. Our ancestors included it in The Book of Harmony. But the entire foundation of this land is love and tolerance towards each other...not hate and prejudice! What sorry excuse of a leader am I to not realize that?" The humbled Princess stares downward sadly. "I feel so guilty; I'm such a monster. How can I even sleep at night knowing that I'm setting a bad example for the future leaders like Twilight?"

Xyclone feels guilty now. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to make you feel so bad—"

"No, Xyclone, you're right," interrupts Celestia. She turns back around and trots back over to Xyclone. "In fact, I should thank you. Your words have brought me to my core. I am truly humbled." A melancholy moment of silence suddenly follows. The Princess stares down again. When she looks back up, she turns to the audience of sophisticated pony guests. "My loyal subjects!" she booms. "I have an announcement to make! I, Princess Celestia, hereby lift the ban on homosexuality!"

The crowd cheers. Applejack and Rarity smile elatedly at the Princess. "You do?!" they both cry, before running up to Celestia and hugging her front legs. "Oh, Princess! Thank you!! Thank you so much!!" I smile at the two ponies as well. Rarity stops hugging her and turns to Applejack. Celestia steps out of the way. "Well, in that case..." begins Rarity, holding Applejack's hoof. "There is only one thing left I have to do..."

Xyclone gasps.

"Applejack, we've been through so much together. We've known each other since we were only fillies. Somehow, I knew...from the very moment I first met you...that you were going to be one of the most amazing ponies I would ever meet. And I now feel comfortable saying that I was right. I'm going to tell you something I never told you before: I...I've actually had a crush on you since that day we found each other. Every time we would cross paths, I was shy around you because I didn't have the courage to talk to somepony as beautifully radiant as you."

"Rarity..." smiles Applejack, her eyes twinkling. "Could Ah tell you somethin'? Ah've actually had long-time feelin's fer you fer a while too...ever since th' day Ah first saw you. In reality, Ah was scared ta talk ta you 'cause Ah didn't think somepony of your level of magnificence would ever want anythin' ta do with little ol' me."

Touched by her kind words, a tear runs down the lovely face of the fabulous white unicorn. She then closes her eyes and lets out a huge sigh. "Applejack...I've wanted to ask you this question for such a very long time..."

Xyclone's eyes widen. He's knows what's about to happen. No, he thinks to himself. No way...she's not gonna—

Rarity kneels down on one front leg. She reaches into a hidden pocket on her dress for something. Applejack's eyes expand then.

No! continues Xyclone in his head as he watches on. It—it can't be! She's—!

"Applejack," begins Rarity. "Would you do the honors of making me the happiest mare in Equestria?" She pulls out a small felt box and opens it, revealing a beautiful crystal ring. "Will...will you marry me, darling?"

Applejack covers her mouth with her hooves, in complete disbelief. Salty blue tears begin pouring from her eyes, once again causing her mascara to run. She is unable to speak.

"Please, AJ," pleads Rarity. "I need you more than a flower needs the warm rays of the sun. I can't live without you. I...I love you, Applejack, and I really want you to be my wife. Please?"

Applejack removes her hooves from her face, showing an ecstatic smile of elation. "Oh, yes, Rarity! Yes! A thousand times, yes! Of course Ah'll marry you!"

The two ponies run up and dramatically kiss each other. "But..." Applejack interrupts, her voice cracking. "Why did you randomly have an engagement ring in yer pocket?"

"Well, I sort of already had a feeling that I wasn't going to marry Blueblood." The two smile once more. The rejected Prince Blueblood just stands there staring at Rarity and Applejack, his mouth agape.

Princess Celestia then re-approaches the two lovers. "I hate to interrupt you two," she jokes, smiling warmly. "But I still have a wedding to finish!"

Applejack and Rarity smile at each other. "I think we can help with that, Princess," Rarity says smiling.

"...We are gathered here today to join unicorn pony Rarity and earth pony Applejack in heavenly matrimony. The rings, please?"

Button Mash trots over to Prince Blueblood, who had already placed the ring on his horn. Button kicks him violently in the foreleg, forcing him to give up the ring. "HEY!" he exclaims, his leg red and throbbing. "Get back here, you little ruffian!"

"Thank you," says the Princess elegantly when Button gives her the rings. "Now, do you, Applejack, take Rarity to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, until death do you part?"

"I do," smiles the orange earth pony, almost automatically.

"And do you, Rarity, take Applejack to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, until death do you part?"

"Yes," replies the purple-haired unicorn. "Yes, I do."

"In that case...you may now kiss the bride!"

Rarity removes her veil and the two mares once again kiss each other passionately. Xyclone, replacing Applejack as Rarity's..."bridesmare"...smiles at the two of them. Then he smiles at Lyra across from him, who is Applejack's bridesmare.

The crowd erupts into applause. Somewhere within them, Velocity (formerly known as Veloci) stifles back tears. "I promised myself I wasn't gonna cry, I promised myself I wasn't gonna cry..." he stammers to himself. Dawn, who is seated next to him, giggles at his actions. "WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!" bawls Velocity finally. "IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!"

A second outburst soon follows, this time by Prince Blueblood. "OH, COME ON!!!" he shouts. "THEY'RE LESBIANS!!! AM I THE ONLY ONE HERE WHO IS OFFENDED BY THIS?!?!" Everyone just glares at him, even Celestia. "But Auntiiiiiieeeeee!!!!" he whines loudly at her. "I wanted to get married todaaaaayyyyy!!! This isn't faaaaaaiiiiiiiirrrrrrrr-uh!!!!" He starts hopping up and down and throwing a childish temper tantrum. "I NEVER GET ANYTHING I WAAAAAAAAAANT!!!!!!" he cries.

"Jeez, I almost married him?" says Rarity, disgusted. She follows with a shudder. "What a disaster that would've been!"

"Y'see, this is why Ah prefer girls," says Applejack, thoroughly annoyed at Blueblood's antics.

Later that day, at the reception, Xyclone, Lyra, Bon-Bon, Velocity, Dawn, Twilight, Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Spike, Scootaloo, Vinyl Scratch, Octavia, Derpy, and Xyclone's newest friend Digital Pwny all meet up. Xyclone and Lyra are holding hooves, and Dawn and Veloci are doing the same. They all smile at the newlywed ponies Rarity and Applejack over at the salad bar. A collective "D'aaawww!" reverberates through the group when the two of them kiss again.

"I've known Applejack since she and I were only fillies," starts Digi as the two ponies trot away from the snack bar. "But I don't think I've ever seen her happier than she is right now!"

"Yeah," says Lyra, looking up at Xyclone. "And I hope that'll be you and me someday." Smiling warmly, Xyclone kisses his marefriend on the lips.

Rainbow Dash frowns. "Ugh!" she exclaims. "All this lovey-dovey stuff is starting to really annoy me!"

Scootaloo nudges her sister playfully. "Oh, come on! Don't tell me you weren't at least a little touched by it!"

Rainbow smiles and musses up her little sister's mane. "I guess it was a little cute!" She looks away and frowns again. "Oh, what I wouldn't give to be Rarity right now..." she says under her breath, not loud enough for anypony to hear. She blushes lightly.

Just then, Prince Blueblood trots up to the punch bowl where Applejack and Rarity were just standing in front of. He is now much calmer than he was before, but he has a saddened expression on his face. Spotting the ponies, he rapidly turns away from them. He quietly sobs. Suddenly Bon-Bon pulls out a hairbrush and fixes her mane, grinning confidently.

"Bon-Bon, what the hay are you doing?" chuckles Xyclone at her.

The cream-colored pony laughs back confidently. "Well, what does it look like? I'm playing rebound!"

"What...?" Xyclone asks, confused, but Bon-Bon was already trotting towards the disgraced Prince. Intrigued, all the ponies watch in suspense as Bon-Bon tries to pick him up.

"So...I hear you've recently been dumped...I can fix that."

"Uh...who the blazes are you?" asks the Prince.

"I'm the best wedding gift you've ever received," says Bon-Bon seductively, flicking Blueblood's face with her tail.

"Um...I'm not sure if I—"

Bon-Bon all of a sudden grabs and pulls him up by his collar. "Okay, you look here, punk. I'm doing you a favor. I'm actually giving you a chance!" Her pupils dilate and drift apart creepily. "I SUGGEST YOU TAKE THAT CHANCE!"

The ponies' eyes widen. So does Prince Blueblood's. "H-How about we go to my r-room and t-talk?" says the Prince nervously.

Bon-Bon calms down almost immediately. "I like the way you think, Prince," she says sensually, fluttering her eyelashes flirtatiously. The two walk off together. As they do, Bon-Bon turns back around to the rest of the ponies and winks. They all laugh.

"Oh, Bon-Bon!" chuckles Lyra.

"Let's go back to the party," Twilight interjects, looking over at Rarity and Applejack as they make out with each other in the guests' chairs. "Besides, I think we should probably let these two lovebirds have some much needed...'alone time'."

All the ponies agree, and they disappear into the hustle and bustle of the wedding reception.

"I love you, Applejack," says Rarity, continuing to kiss her newlywed life partner. "Don't you ever leave my side, dear."

"Oh, Ah won't dream of it, Rarity. Never in a million years would Ah ever think o' doin' that."

Never in a million years.