The Ballad of Xyclone

Ponyville, Equestria, mid-morning

After I finished my breakfast, I told Applejack, "Get the others. I'm gonna try to explain everything to you all. Everything."

"Okay," she agreed. "Come on, y'all, Xyclone here says he wants to show us something."

Everyone cheered—except for Twilight, that is—and followed me to Twilight's library. "I know I've been confusing you all with what I've been saying, so I wanna try and explain it to you," I called back to the ponies as they followed me. "But in order to do so, I'll need to go back through the portal and you'll all need to come with me. Is everyone okay with that?" Everyone reluctantly nodded. When we got to the library, the portal was still there and wide open. "Hmm..." I mumbled as I looked at the portal. Lyra trotted up to me.

"What's the matter?" she asked me.

"I don't trust this portal with my life," I told her, "Or with any of our lives, for that matter. Is there someone in Ponyville who could help us with this?" I asked everyone.

"Oh, I think I know just the pony!" said Lyra, "Come on everypony, follow me!"

"Wait, are you talking about who I think you're talking about?" I asked her.

"You'll see," she said.

We all followed Lyra to this one house in the middle of Ponyville. She knocked on the door. A light brown pony wearing a fez opened the door.

"Hello? Oh, Miss Heartstrings, how are you doing this fine morning?" The pony spoke with an eloquent British accent. My suspicions were correct. This was, in fact, the timelord Doctor Whooves.

"We need your help...with a two-dimensional portal," Lyra continued.

The Doctor chuckled confidently. "Well, you came to the right timelord, my dear! Luckily, Derpy is on an outing with Dinky, so I'll be free all day. Oh, and who's your friend here?" he asked, noticing me.

"Oh, this is Xyclone, f.k.a. Skyler, he's from the other side of the portal. He's a human!"

"Was," I corrected her sarcastically.

"Oh, I've met the humans before," The Doctor said. Lyra's jaw dropped. "Strange creatures, those humans; Very strange indeed."

Lyra tackled him. "WHY DIDN'T YOU EVER TELL ME ANYTHING ABOUT THE HUMANS?!" she exclaimed.

Unaffectedly, The Doctor calmly replied, "Because I knew this would happen." Lyra silenced herself. The Doctor smirked. "Now, if you'll get off me, I will gladly help you with your predicament."

"Hee-hee, sorry!" said Lyra, chuckling awkwardly.

When we returned to Twilight's library with The Doctor, he inspected the portal with his Sonic Screwdriver. I was in awe. "Doctor Who" was one of my favorite television shows as a human. Watching the pony version of him work made me giddy.

"It seems safe to me," The Doctor finally said. "But I'm not getting a lot of readings from the Sonic Screwdriver, which is strange. I'll need to do more inspections on it. But as far as I know, it's safe. You all can go ahead and proceed through it. I'll let you know if anything goes wrong."

"Thank you, Doctor," I told him. "Okay, everyone, let's go! Darn, and I really liked being a pony. Now I'm gonna become a human again."

As I and the 11 other ponies went through the portal, I felt my body returning to what I was used to. When we all reached my room, I was back to my old self. I sighed, then looked at Lyra. She was somehow uglier to me. Even she looked at me with a disappointed and disgusted expression on her face. It did feel nice to have opposable thumbs again, though.

"Okay, we're here," Bon-Bon said sarcastically, "Now, what is it you wanted to show us, O Great One?"

"Shut up, Bon-Bon," Lyra said to her.

"Oh, right," I remembered. I walked over to my laptop and opened it up. I immediately got on deviantART.com. "My little ponies," I said playfully, "I present to you...THE INTERNET."

They all ooh'd and aah'd, especially Pinkie, but not at what I said. She was more fascinated with the laptop. "OOOOOO! Shiny! What does it doooo?!"

"Well, I was about to explain—"

"What does this button do?!" She started pressing button after button.

"Pinkie, wait!" She giggled as she pressed more buttons. "Pinkie—!" She still wouldn't listen. "PINKIE! ENOUGH! JUST...STOP, PLEASE!" She backed away. "Now...I was going to explain before I was so rudely interrupted..." I glared at Pinkie.

She laughed nervously. "Heh-heh, sorry!" she said.

"This is a computer," I continued. "It's a source for all kinds of information and a place where people all over the world can communicate with each other. It's also a place where fan art of you guys is shared."

"U-Us?" Fluttershy trembled. "S-So you're not the only one from this world who knows who we are?"

"Nope," I replied. "Like I told you yesterday, there's millions like me everywhere. Let me explain to you all the things I confused you with." I brought up a vector of my original character.

"Th-That's you!" exclaimed Lyra. "A-As a pony!"

"Yes, that's my OC, Xyclone."

Vinyl Scratch put a hoof on her head. "This just keeps getting weirder and weirder," she said.

I went on and showed the confused ponies pictures of other people's OCs. I then went to the search bar. "Rarity, come here," I called to Rarity. "I'll explain to you what 'shipping' is. What shipping is is when two ponies are randomly paired together as a couple. Quite a few people hate it because they think it's weird and creepy, but I happen to fully support it." I began trolling the ponies by pulling up pictures that involved every popular shipping there was and thoroughly embarrassed all of them. It was hilarious! I made them all feel awkward! Especially with Twilight and Rainbow Dash, Lyra and Bon-Bon, and Vinyl and Octavia. But probably the most awkward was when I brought up a RariJack picture. Applejack happened to walk up right as I did. Both Rarity's and Applejack's faces turned bright red as they blushed, looking away from each other. I stifled a snickering laugh.

"Well..." Rarity stuttered, looking up, "This is awkward..."

"Y-Yeah," replied Applejack, shuffling her hooves, "Heh, awkward. Ah-Ah'm gonna go over there..." She reluctantly and awkwardly trotted to the back of the group.

"C-Can we please change the subject?!" demanded Rainbow Dash, both hers and Twilight's faces still red from the TwiDash picture I showed them.

I figured that was enough joking around for the day. I finally started showing them just the normal, harmless fan-art, which calmed them down, and even made them laugh. I played them fan-made music; one song in particular: The remix of Eurobeat Brony's "Discord" by The Living Tombstone. Vinyl Scratch especially loved it. She was nodding her head the entire time. I then told them about the fan fiction. "There's even stories written about you guys," I said.

Twilight suddenly perked up.

"Although, I'm not gonna show you any of that because most of it is either sad or gory; Like 'Rainbow Factory', for example.

Rainbow Dash jumped up. "Did you say 'Rainbow Factory'?!" she exclaimed ecstatically.

"Yes, but trust me—you do NOT want to read it. It made me nauseous."

Rainbow Dash dropped back down. "Oh," she said dejectedly.

Next, I showed them the toys and the clothes and all the other merchandise as well. Eventually, I thought I'd traumatized/fascinated them enough and decided to call it a day; Besides, I was missing being a pony. Once again, I and the eleven other ponies left the human world through the portal and returned to Equestria. I was starting to get accustomed to my body changing so much, but boy, did it feel good to be a pony again! It felt...I don't know...it felt "natural". When we returned to Twilight's library, I felt someone hug me.

It was Lyra. "Yay! You're pretty again!" I just stared at her blankly. She was beautiful once again as well. I just didn't get it. "WAIT, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT! Y-You were always pretty—I mean, no you're not! Well, no, I mean you are, but I'm not attracted to you or anything—" I stopped her by putting my hoof over her mouth. We both smiled, and then continued hugging.

The Doctor suddenly brought us back to reality. "I'm afraid I've yet to figure anything else out about this portal. It's going to take some time."

"Oh, th-that's fine, Doctor, take all the time you need," Lyra told him.

Lyra then asked me if I wanted to have some lunch at her and Bon-Bon's place, to which I happily agreed to, much to the dismay of Bon-Bon.