The Chapter Where Stuff Happens
“Come on Pokey, we’re almost there! My Pinkie Senses are getting reeeaaaal crazy reeeaaaal fast!” A pink earth pony mare with a pink, curly mane and blue eyes shouted. She held a slightly dark blue unicorn stallion with a white and dark blue coifed mane by his hoof with her hoof. The stallion widely opened his eyes in fear as he was being dragged along by the smiling mare.
“Remind me again why we are going here Pinkie?” Pokey Pierce said in a hesitant manner. Pinkie Pie rolled her eyes.
“Well duh! The two of us are on a date, and you allowed me to pick where we go!” She reasoned. Pokey Pierce gulped in surprise. “It’s just around the river bend! That’s where my Pinkie Senses are taking me!” Pinkie Pie said excitedly.
“…Remind me to pick the location of our next date when it comes up.” Pokey Pierce said somewhat regretfully. The two ponies walked along the sandy shores of a running river. Finally, as they walked along the shore, the two of them stopped walking. Their eyes opened widely at the sight of a giant, orange plesiosaur-like creature with blue spines along the back of its head and tail, three orange stripes of a darker color running along its back and a white face and underbelly. Its eyes were green and it had a red handkerchief-like scarf tied around its neck. The creature looked towards their direction with a smile and wave. Pinkie Pie smiled widely, but Pokey Pierce took a few steps back in shock and fear.
“Awwww, he looks so friendly!” Pinkie Pie stated. Pinkie Pie looked back towards Pokey Pierce. “Come on Pokey! This is what my Pinkie Senses told me about! This dinosaur looks like he wants to give us a ride down this river!” She stated happily.
“F-forget it! I’m not about to risk my life for some dumb dino!” Pokey Pierce screamed in fear. His statement caused Pinkie Pie and the creature to frown. He looked towards Pinkie Pie and saw that she was almost on the verge of tears. He tried to stand tough, but he broke down with a sigh. “Fine, we’ll ride the plesiosaur. But, it’s only because you look adorable when you’re happy and we’re on a date.” He stated. Pinkie Pie smiled widely and jumped in joy.
“Yay! Do you hear that Plessie?! We get to ride you!” She shouted. Plessie hopped on each alternating foot and danced around happily.
“Ummm, did you just call that ‘Plessie’?” Pokey Pierce said in confusion.
“Yep. That’s his name. Plessie the Plesiosaur. Look! He seems to like it as well.” Pinkie Pie stated as she saw Plessie respond actively to his name. Plessie turned towards Pinkie Pie and Pokey Pierce and then turned around towards the river. He pointed down the river with one of his flippers. Pinkie Pie closed her mouth and hummed in thought. “This river seems veeery familiar. I can’t put my hoof on it, but I remember it having the scariest chasm NO WAIT cavern NO WAIT crevice…. Eh all I know is that it had a rocky formation you can enter that began with the letter ‘c’ and it was said to be the scariest thing in Equestria.” She said as she thought. “Well, it can’t be that scary, right Pokey?” She asked.
“Ummmm, if we see something scary, please don’t let us go in there.” Pokey Pierce said as he gulped on air and shook nervously. Pinkie Pie playfully pushed Pokey Pierce with her shoulder.
“Come on Pokey! Where’s your sense of adventure? It’s going to be fun trust me. Besides, if I get a little scared, you can always embrace me.” She said very flirtatiously. Pokey Pierce smiled and giggled nervously. His cheeks grew red in color, and Pinkie covered her mouth and giggled.
“Well... what the heck. But remember, I will be nearby to hug you when you need it.” Pokey Pierce said happily.
“Great!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she rushed towards Plessie and jumped on his back. She wrapped her hind legs around Plessie. She looked back and waved towards Pokey Pierce. “Are you going to enjoy this ride with me or am I going to be a single player on this ride?” Pokey Pierce smiled as he ran onto Plessie’s back and sat behind Pinkie Pie. Plessie jumped into the stream. He swam instantly and already reached the speed of a devastating gust. Pinkie Pie cheered loudly as she swung her forelegs in the air. Pokey Pierce grappled onto Plessie’s back with all four of his legs. He clenched his teeth in fear. “Whoo-hooo! Yeah!!!”
“Perhaps this might not have been the greatest idea yet.” Pokey Pierce said shakingly. Plessie swerved along the river’s waters. For some odd reason, large, golden rings started to appear above the water’s surface. Pinkie Pie smiled as she wrapped her forelegs around Plessie’s neck and steered him.
“Alright Pokey! When I say ‘now,’ I want you to cause Plessie to jump.”
“Don’t I get at least a say in this?!” Pokey Pierce said with a wide-eyed expression of fear.
“You would, but we would miss these gold rings! Now jump!” Pinkie Pie shouted. On some unusual instinct, Pokey Pierce pounded Plessie’s back with his hoof. Plessie jumped through the rings. The rings transmuted into golden bits that fell on Pinkie Pie and Pokey Pierce’s hooves. The both of them smiled as the bits rained down on them. Pinkie Pie looked back and smiled. Pokey sheepishly smiled and waved.
Soon, Plessie reached a three-way fork in the river. Pinkie Pie craned Plessie’s neck towards the right, which allowed her to steer herself and Pokey Pierce to the right path on the river. Soon, a dank cave covered in moss appeared on the horizon. Pinkie Pie smiled in an epiphany.
“Ohhhh! Now I remember what was here! It’s the scariest cave in all of Equestria! I remembered that there were these weird unknown creatures in the cave that scared the bejeebers out of me and my family when we went through here! Wowwee that was a fun time!” She happily exclaimed. Pokey Pierce’s eyes opened widely and moved back.
“F-f-f-f-forget it!!! I’m getting off of here right now!” He said as he shuffled his hooves. Pinkie Pie grabbed his forehoof with her forehoof. She smiled innocently towards him.
“Now now Pokey, you should’ve said something sooner. It’s too late since we’re going into the cave now!” She said. Pokey Pierce shuddered as all three of them entered the cave.
“…why me?” He said to himself. Just as the darkness of the cave began to settle in, he heard something drop in front of him. Curiously, his horn ignited in a gray color. The object in front of him illuminated as it levitated towards him. It looked like a small, wooden party cannon with a large barrel and a trigger. “Ummm, what is this Pinkie?” Pokey Pierce asked.
“Weeeellll, I remembered that these creatures are super scary and super vicious. I also remembered that the two of us made prototype one-hoofed party cannons so that we can make a party anywhere we want. I’m thinking that instant parties will cause these creatures to stop being grumpy-faced creatures and smile!” Pinkie Pie responded. She held a hoof out with the hoof cannon and pointed it towards a black, two horned quadruped creature with three yellow eyes. The creature looked towards the three of them and roared. Pinkie Pie pulled the trigger on the hoof cannon, and a fully-baked cake was launched out of it. The cake hit the strange creature inside of the eyes. The creature screamed and retreated back into the cave. “See? That grumpy creature is going to enjoy his cake now. Though… I think I should have skipped out on the oven chamber in this design. That cake looked really hot for anypony to enjoy.” Pokey Pierce’s mouth opened with a grin. As he saw a group of flying tadpole-like creatures with large mandibles, he aimed the hoof cannon towards their mouths. He pulled the trigger, and a myriad of cakes fired from the gun. Each cake hit their mark and burned the mouths of the creatures. The creatures screeched and flew away. Pokey Pierce smiled as he looked down towards the side of the gun.
“Hmmm, it’s absolutely perfect! Don’t change anything on the design Pinkie, because this is going to save our flanks down the river!” He happily said.
“Okie-dokie-lokie Pokey!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she pointed her hoofheld cannon towards more of the ferocious creatures in the cave. Pokey Pierce aimed the cannon towards the quadrupeds climbing along the walls. He fired several cakes along the wall-crawling creatures. The creatures screeched as they were pelted by the burning pastries. They let go of the walls and ran back deeper into the cave. When Pokey Pierce least expected, a flying creature rushed towards his head. Fortunately, burning cake was shot into its mouth, which caused it to drop into the river. Pokey Pierce turned around and saw an angry Pinkie Pie.
“You try to attack my coltfriend again and I will make sure you will eat confetti with that cake!” Pinkie Pie shouted. She flipped a brown switch on the barrel. As a swarm of the flying creatures came, confetti fired out at a high velocity from the cannon. The confetti struck the wings of the creatures and caused them to tumble into the water.
“You saved me Pinkie!” Pokey Pierce gratefully said. Pinkie Pie looked forward and saw that the waterway became suspended along a bottomless pit. She also noticed that the water began to swerve in zig-zag-like patterns and curves.
“We can’t stop now. We’re going into shaky water country!” She said as she held onto Plessie’s neck. Plessie swerved along the water, making sharp turns in order to avoid falling down into the pit. “You know, if the both of us jumped with Plessie, we would be able to clear these gaps with no time.” Pokey Pierce turned back and fired at the flying creatures and the quadrupeds along the wall. He turned back and gripped onto Plessie’s back. “On the count of three-“
“One! Two! Three!” Pinkie Pie and Pokey Pierce said in unison. Plessie jumped high into the air and cleared two gaps. Soon, the river became wide again and the cavern became narrow. Pokey Pierce aimed the hoof cannon towards the top of the closing part and closed it. He sat on his haunches and wiped moisture away from his forehead.
“Well, I’m glad that’s over.” He stated with a sigh of relief. Pinkie Pie slanted her eyes in disbelief.
“This cave extends much longer beyond what is normal. It’s not over yet.” She said seriously. All of a sudden, her right hind leg began to thump on Plessie’s back loudly and her mane frizzled intensely.
“What is your Pinkie Senses telling you this time?” Pokey Pierce stated worriedly.
“Thumpy leg, frizzy mane! They’re telling me that something huge is going to come and attack us!” As she said this, the cave began to rumble intensely. The river rippled as if it rumbled within calm waters. From within the ripple, a large, four-armed beast emerged. The beast was bipedal and had chains that dropped down from its wrists. Its shoulders and head are red with decayed flesh and blood, and it had an elongated tongue hanging from its mouth. It had a bandage wrapped around its head and its eyes were a pale-yellow color. It roared loudly. Pinkie Pie became wide-eyed as she saw the beast gun after her. She screamed loudly. Pokey Pierce rushed up towards towards Pinkie Pie with a feared expression and embraced her.
“W-What in tartarus is that thing?!” He shouted to the top of his lungs. Pinkie Pie shakingly took out a strange, electronic device. She pointed it over towards the creature. The device emitted a strange green light towards the creature. As soon as it finished scanning, a display of the creature’s body was shown.
“OHMYGOSH! It’s a huge zombie! This thing says here that its name is Justice.” Pinkie Pie said.
“Please tell me there is a way to defeat it…” Pokey Pierce barely stuttered out.
“It says here that its weakness is its large tongue.” Pinkie Pie stated happily. She developed an evil grin as she pulled out her hoof cannon. “I hope that it can handle some hot cake!” Pokey Pierce smiled as he cocked back the hoof cannon.
“I hope you brought your wallet… because the rent in Tartarus gets paid in advance!” He said.
“This-“Pinkie Pie cocked back her hoof-held party cannon. “-is my broomstick!” She said cooly. Justice roared as it began to charge towards Pinkie Pie, Pokey Pierce and Plessie. Pinkie Pie and Pokey began to unload molten cake ammo onto Justice’s tongue. However, Justice still kept continuing forward and extended one of his arms towards Pokey Pierce. Pokey Pierce struggled as he was being crushed by the grip of the behemoth before him. Fortunately, Justice dropped him onto Plessie and it flinched in pain. Pokey Pierce looked towards Pinkie Pie, whose cannon leaked with batter. He gasped heavily as he regained his breath.
“Thank you Pinkie. I never expected to be choked like that.” He said.
“Don’t thank me now Pokey, because this fight has just only started.” Pinkie Pie said. Justice took a left and crashed through the cavern wall. As Plessie surfed down the river, Pinkie Pie and Pokey Pierce looked around suspiciously, never dropping their guard for one moment. Suddenly, a giant hand burst through the cavern wall and grasped Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie was lifted away from Plessie, but Pokey shot a cake onto the fist. Justice let go of Pinkie Pie, and she fell down into Pokey Pierce’s hooves. The two of them looked into each other’s eyes and smiled with slanted eyes. As they did, Justice burst through the cavern wall and re-appeared in front of Plessie. Plessie smiled as he jetted underneath Justice’s large legs. Justice turned around and roared before it began to chase after the trio. Pinkie Pie and Pokey Pierce kept shooting the ridiculously hot pastry. This time, Justice’s large arms covered his tongue for the most part, which shielded him from the damage. As he got close enough, he slid forward on his back and kicked up a wave, which caught Plessie, Pinkie Pie and Pokey Pierce. The trio was swept into the wave and was being washed away. Pinkie Pie and Pokey Pierce wrapped each other in their forelegs and screamed for their lives. Plessie, with a look of determination in his eyes, moved onto the top of the wave itself and rode on it as though he was the surfboard himself. He took command of the wave as though it was his own. Using his pectoral fins, he steered himself, his passengers and the wave out of the cave. Justice looked forward and scratched the top of its head with one of its fingers. It sighed before it descended back into the water, unhappy that the company it thought would be its new friends left it.
Pinkie Pie, Pokey Pierce and Plessie still rode on the wave. Pinkie Pie and Plessie cheered loudly, but Pokey Pierce hid behind Pinkie Pie, screamed and shut his eyes. Pinkie Pie looked back and smiled.
“I see you are a bit clingy to me after we escaped. Are you worried about me that much?” Pinkie Pie said jokingly.
“A bit of that, and the fact that I don’t do well in swift motion like this is what is causing me to hold you this close.” Pokey Pierce said shakingly.
“Well you better grip onto Plessie, because we’re about to approach a waterfall in three, two, one-“Before Pinkie Pie finished, Plessie jumped into the air and cleared the waterfall gap. Pokey Pierce felt his internal organs falling back into his back and grasped the back of Plessie’s back as much as he possibly could. It was only ten seconds that they were all in the air. For each of them, it felt like half a minute. Finally, when they all landed on the water, a very large ripple disrupted the entire river. As the wave reached terrifying heights, an orange-coated elderly earth pony mare with a curly, light orange mane and green eyes stepped out of her house. She eyed the impending tsunami and sighed.
“Looks like ah better begin waterproofing da house again.” She said annoyed as she walked back into the house. The wave crashed against the house, but was not washed away for some reason. As Pinkie Pie, Pokey Pierce and Plessie neared the shore, Pokey Pierce jumped off of Plessie and kissed the sweet dirt in front of him.
“I’m alive! I’m alive!” He said as he laughed hysterically. Pinkie Pie floated gently towards him and landed on her hooves with a smile.
“That was the second bestest journey that I ever went through down this river!” She happily said. As Plessie pulled himself onto the shore, Pokey Pierce looked towards Pinkie Pie as though she had two heads. Pinkie Pie bashfully looked away as she saw him staring towards her. “I mean, sorry our date didn’t go exactly as planned. I’m sorry that we almost got ourselves killed. Can you ever forgive me?” She said humbly. Pokey Pierce smiled as he brought her forehead over to him with his forehooves and kissed it.
“You don’t need to apologize to me Pinkie. Though we nearly died at some parts of the journey, I honestly had fun. I’m glad that we rode on Plessie-“He pointed over to Plessie, who waved back happily. “-and I’m definitely glad that we got to experience some authentic horror. It definitely beats my original plan of going to the movies today.” Just as he said this, the water dragged out two hoof-sized party cannons. They collapsed as soon as they hit the shore. Pokey Pierce frowned sadly. “I’m sorry that your party cannons got destroyed. I bet that you worked hard on them.” He said. Pinkie Pie shrugged.
“Don’t worry silly! They did what they had to do and they got us out of a jam! Besides, I have the original plans back at home and I have ways to make them more suitable for an emergency party in a pinch.” She said. Pokey Pierce suddenly felt the air of giggling rising from within him. It started out as a chuckle before it erupted into full-blown laughter. Pinkie Pie began to chuckle and also laughed loudly.
“To think that I would have such a crazy adventure today with my marefriend, my friends will never be able to believe this story!” Pokey Pierce said.
“I know! My friends already have a tough time believing the true stories I say. Imagine the looks on their faces when we tell them that we rode on a colorful plesiosaur named Plessie, went into the scariest cave in Equestria and shot some grumpy faces with cake and then we encountered a four-armed zombie behemoth at the end of the tunnel!” Plessie held up his pectoral fin to his mouth as he too began to giggle at the absurdity of the situation. Pinkie Pie turned towards Plessie with a smile. “Thanks for the adventure Plessie. Now go have a new one!” She said as she hugged Plessie. Plessie smiled as he returned the hug. The two of them stopped hugging and Plessie waved back towards Pinkie Pie and Pokey Pierce. He vocalized something along the lines of ‘thank you.’ Pinkie Pie looked back at Pokey Pierce and smiled contently. “Now Pokey, it’s time that I gave you something for giving me such a good time.” She said as she slanted her eyes. Pokey Pierce smiled contently and also slanted his eyes.
“I know just what you mean. I love you Pinkie Pie.” He said
“I love you too Pokey Pierce.” As Pinkie Pie said this, their faces began to meet. As they kissed, Plessie blocked the sight with his pectoral fin and turned away in disgust. He turned back towards the river and rode down the water. As the two ponies finished kissing, Pokey Pierce looked back towards the path.
“Looks like it will take a while before we get to Ponyville. Should we wait until we get help?” He asked.
“Nah. We should just scenically walk down this path to Ponyville. It’s going to be more peaceful than the adventure we had.” Pinkie Pie responded nonchalantly.
“I couldn’t agree anymore.” Pokey Pierce stated. The two of them walked down the path in the midst of a beautiful sunset. “You know what I’m wondering about Pinkie?”
“What is it Pokey darling?” Pinkie Pie sweetly responded.
“Those creatures we saw back in the cave, they looked very sad and misunderstood. Do you think it was because nopony wants to see them or hear them?” Pokey Pierce stated. Pinkie Pie hummed as she put a single hoof onto her chin while she walked on her other three legs. She then gasped excitedly.
“I think that can be it! Maybe when we go there next time, I would have perfected the hoof party cannon! Then we can make many parties in the scariest cave in Equestria! All the creatures in the cave will get to have cake and balloons and they will be smiling! It will no longer be the scariest cave in Equestria but it will be known as the happiest cave in Equestria!” She exclaimed. Pokey Pierce smiled.
“If it’s not a problem, I want to help you plan those parties in that cave now and forever. I’m sure that together, we will be able to make Equestria a much happier place than what it already is.” He said. Pinkie Pie giggled towards her coltfriend’s response.
“I’m sure that you would want to put a ring on that response as well, do you?” She asked. Pokey Pierce put his hoof onto his chin and hummed in thought as he walked.
“You know, I think I will do that when we get back home.” He said in confirmation. Pinkie Pie grinned happily. “Though, I want to know something; just where did you get that device you used to scan Justice?” Pokey Pierce questioned. Pinkie Pie pulled out her device and shrugged.
“I don’t know.” She said as she threw the device towards the tree. “I just sometimes pick up stuff without knowing.” The two of them continued to walk down the path, happy about their adventure that they had and the plans for their future.
And what ever happened to Plessie? Well, some say that he occasionally comes around to Ponyville to greet the couple. Others say that he still travels down all the bodies of water in Equus, having his own adventures. Out of those people, those that said he travels down Equus’s waters have also stated that he had defeated vicious CEOs that threatened to pollute the planet, and he became one of the bearers of the Elemental Rings used to summon Captain Equus, champion of recycling and nature. One thing is for certain though; he managed to cross over to worlds beyond and helped a fat Italian plumber, his brother, the princess of a faraway kingdom and her mushroom-headed servant. They even say that a goddess of the cosmos joined in their cause. But that, my friends, is another story for another time.
The End
Author's Note
I was bored and caught-up with everything else. With my college semester starting on Tuesday, I said 'Why not?' and wrote this.
