Eleven Strange Questions

by Lybithidon

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Comedy
Length: 851

What happens when you take three crazy ponies, a lawyer and give them a massive city to mess around in? Stuff is bound to go down, and that's not necessarily a good thing.

Raven led a "simple" life. He was a lawyer, born and raised in Glascow with the whole world within his grasp, he could do anything. Then he got twenty-four hours community service, he had to offer up his services for the street cleaners of Manehattan, these were however no ordinary ponies.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-19 14:42:44 UTC

Chapter 1 : "Helpful" Advice

       Chapter 1

My councillor has advised me to keep a diary of all that's happened, an escape from reality if you will. Mainly because my story doesn't make much sense...Well, some of it does, the start. But that's about it really. Convincing somepony that my story is true is like trying to get somepony to believe that fairies exist, but everypony knows they've been extinct for...Uh..forever. Anyway's back to the topic at hoof...Wait...I haven't even introduced myself, how silly of me! My name is Raven Heart, I'm twenty-three years old and I'm from Glascow,Scootland, but i moved to Manehattan. Dammit, can't I keep on topic for even a minute. Continuing on with my story, It all started during a...

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17th September 1993  4:09AM

        "WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY CARD'S BEEN DECLINED?!"                                                                                                  Raven screamed down his newly acquired telephone at the mare on the receiving end, hoping to get a real answer this time around

"Ma'am if you would please calm down, you're card expi-"

At that moment Raven felt the ever increasing rage inside himself, a burning desire he couldn't extinguish, to break the object closest to him. He slammed the phone down, nearly breaking it in the process. Collapsing onto a nearby couch, that word echoed in his brain ,a word that he was all too familiar with

        "Ma'am... How dare she, that little.."

Raven cursed under his breath, wishing that whole event never happened. That's when he heard it...The noise that would change his life for years to come, a knock on the door. To call that a knock was an understatement, it was more of a violent thud. Raven was soon graced with a familiar voice, foreign accent and everything that came with it

        "Raven, you get out here now, or i'll come in!"

Said the voice from the other side of the door

        "I've done it once and i'll do it again you...you loudmouthed...Guy!"

He sighed and accepted the mare's demands, walking over to the door and opening it slightly

        "Y-yes, Stoff?"

        "That's miss Stoff to you! Do you know why I moved here? To get a good job, to meet other ponies and to get my beautysleep!        And you keep on disturbing me with you're damn shouting. Go to sleep for Celestia's sake! Some ponies have work in a couple of  hours you careless idiot! You should get yourself checked out!"

And with that Raven snapped, slamming the door shut on the mare's muzzle.

On the 19th of September Stoff took Raven to court over allegations of assault, he was found not guilty due to the lack of evidence (excluding Stoff's slight nosebleed) but was given counselling and 24 hours community service for his aggressive behaviour and lack of respect for other ponies needs.

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23rd September 1993 2:45PM

Raven sighed as he swept the sidewalk of Oats st. He hated this "job", but that was of course to be expected with community service. He turned and asked one of his fellow sweepers, confused

        "How the hay do you do this all day?"

        "Ah' dunno' how ah' do it. Ah guess I just do"

The Scootish pony looked away, now fully concentrating on sweeping the dull, concrete sidewalk.

         "Wow, great advice, Thanks"

Raven said sarcastically with a frown. Although He hated being a lawyer, he hated this even more. There was nothing he wouldn't do to be back in the courtroom, Time started to pass quicker as the seconds turned to minutes and the minutes to hours. It was time for him to hoof in his uniform and brush to the office of the small, yet cosy building, but couldn't help but notice the door sitting wide open which read "STAFF ONLY". Seeing as he was in fact, a member of staff he decided to walk in, the room was mostly empty aside from the filing cabinets overflowing with sheets of paper and newspapers strewn all over.

        "Um, hellooo?"

He asked scanning the room once again for any signs of visible life.

        "Hi!"

A crimson mare said, sitting at a table and shovelling an ungodly amount of food into her mouth. Raven and dropped his uniform and jumped when he heard her speak, confused as to how he hadn't noticed her before.

        "Leave your stuff on the floor, sompony'll pick it up soon!"

Her voice being muffled by the mashed up food in her mouth

Raven heard somepony behind him

        "And who might you be?"

Asked a stallion with a calm, yet raspy voice. The ravenous mare at the table answered his question before Raven could

        "He's that new lawyer guy"

        "A lawyer? Well why didn't you say so!"

He said excitedly quickly rushing for one of the filing cabinets

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23rd September 1993 9:18PM

Raven sat, staring a the question paper intently.

        "So, what is this for exactly?"

        "Just a simple test, that's all"

The other stallion replied, waiting for his acquaintance to start

        "Why are there eleven question's, not ten...One of these questions is rhetorical"

The Scootish Earth Pony said, confused

"Because we like to go one step beyond"