Author's Note

Yes, a new chapter of A Night to Remember!

YES!

Finally! After months, I managed to write about Richard and his misadventures through Vegas. I recommend you to re-read the previous chapters, they were rewritten and now they have 90% less grammatical errors. (I hope so)

Don't forget to give the story a like! (If you like) Opinions, suggestions, critics, feel free to comment.

Until next chapter,

• PedroHander

Bullets, Russians and Jack Daniels

A Night to Remember

The handle slowly turned, captain Shining Armor stood outside while Princess Luna peered through a small crack between the door and the wall. However, the so called 'Mysterious Creature' was nowhere to be seen.

Was this a good sign? I don't fucking know.

Particularly, I would be pretty scared if I had to deal with myself in such peculiar conditions. Yet, 'fear' was a word banished from Luna's dictionary.

She took a deep breath, prepared a simple protection spell just in case the creature decided to attack, and walked decidedly inside the throne room.

During the long and eventful life of Luna, she had plenty of opportunities to witness a large part of all the oddities available in Equestria. From tentacles to chocolate rain, yet, literally nothing in this world could prepare her to him.

With a click, the door closed, leaving the pony alone with whatever she could find- sleeping over the lavish celestial throne.

Right there, with one of his arms limply hanging out from the armrest, was Richard; naked and asleep. A few scratches here and there, but nonetheless, alive.

Inside his drunken mind he was only taking a well deserved nap inside his car. Unfortunately, Luna was unable to see the beauty behind an alcoholic nap, to the princess 'Richard' was an unknown being; naked, stinking and profaning the royal throne of Equestria.

She stared at him for a few minutes, trying to find a logical and safe way to approach. Oh well, she could levitate the creature out of the throne and simply throw him away through the window; yes, that would be easy, but a little bit harsh...

Or maybe she could-

"Heeey little horseeey! Damn, I love these *hiccup* themed casinos."

Luna's soul almost jumped from her own body when she heard that stupid and intoxicated voice. It's not everyday a hairless primate call the princess 'little horsey'.

"W-who art thou? And what art thou d-doing over our Celestial Throne?" She spoke in a sightly shaky Royal Canterlot Voice.

"Oh fuck, I'm in trouble again aren't I?" He sighed. "Sorry little blue horse... I'm leaving your chair now-" Before the princess could even consider the situation, Richard hopped out of the throne- but failed miserably in standing. His sore and tired body collapsed face first on the floor, right at the stairway.

"Hmmmmmmmmmph" A muffled grunt escaped from his throat, his cheek was smashed against the stair, luckily, he was too drunk to feel real pain, at least for awhile.

Luna gaped at the scene unfolding in front of her "For my sister sake! Art thou alive?" Still reluctant, she levitated him from the ground.

He wriggled under the magical grasp "Ahh I'm jusht fiiiine, don't worrey little hor- Damn, why am I bleeding?"

The princess wasn't really prepared to this, when she came to the throne room, she expected to fight heroically against some kind of demonic beast- not a decrepit moaning monkey.

Luna laid his body on a nearby couch and stood in front of him, judging by the creature size she wasn't looking really imposing. Of course she could tear him apart from existence in a second, but this was not the case.

"Thou bleed because thou wast stupid." She sighed. "Now press this against thy wound-" She magically generated a piece of cloth and pressed it against his forehead.

"Ouch!" He flinched.

"It was your fault, now keep pressing!" She rolled her eyes.

Sat on her haunches only a few hooves away, for long minutes the princess just stood there, staring at the unknown being. She observed every insignificant movement of him, trying to absorb as much information as possible.

In the meantime she couldn't help but notice a strange scent in the air, probably the same scent the guards mentioned before. Luna might have been trapped on the moon for a thousand years, but this smell wasn't something a mare can easily forget or ignore-

"Art thou a dominant stallion?" She curiously asked.

Richard couldn't help but chuckle "I'm a what?"

Approaching him again, she removed the now blood stained cloth, and placed a clean one over his injury.

"A stallion, a male virile specimen of thine kind." Richard just cocked his head at that and shrugged. She sighed. "Do you constantly fuck mares??"

"Why would I fuck hooorses?" He snorted.

"Because you smell just like stallion urine, that's why!" She took a seat on the couch by his side "And I'm not a horse, I'm a pony, an Alicorn to be exacter"

"Oh c'mon, you just want to know if I would fuck you, isn't it?"

Taken aback by his answer Luna just gasped " I... I never a-asked. Why would I-" her mumbling was suddenly interrupted when Richard broke into laughter.

"...shit, you are the funniest hors- alleycorn I ever met!"

I'm pretty sure Luna slapped my face after that, but for a unknown reason the memory started to dissolve again, the colors and sounds distorting around me until it completely vanished.

I opened my eyes only to notice that I was exactly at the same spot of the couch, when Luna released the spell earlier. Talking about Luna-

The princess was by my side, her eyes were still closed but her horn no longer sparkled with magic. "Luna?" I poked her nose.
"W-what?" She jumped in place. "Richard? But..." She touched her horn with a hoof.

"What happened?" I asked.

"We don't know, it seems like something inside thine mind interfered with our magic." That's strange, I never thought my head was able to interfere with something aside from my own thoughts.

I stood up from the couch, and almost instantly a sharp pain ran through my head, as if something was piercing my temples.

"H-holy god-" I fell to my knees.

"Rick!" Luna hurriedly ran to me. "What's happening??"

I tried to focus my vision on her, but the images seemed blurred and duplicated. "I-I don't know, I-" My head throbbed again. I groaned in pain.

"Richard- talk- look at us- " Her voiced was becoming no more than a whisper "Richard! breathe please!"

I must have screamed, or Luna screamed, I don't know. Everything turned into black and I lost consciousness again

Then Las Vegas came...

The lights of Chandelier Bar and Casino overshadowed the fact that I was so fucking screwed.

Inside of Vlad's trench coat I could catch a glimpse of a large golden gun, that I really don't want to know the gauge-

"Mister Richard, let's be reasonable, we don't want this beautiful casino and its equally- charming american people... Destroyed. Do we want?"

Naturally this would be one of the scarier moments of my life, but fortunately I had enough drinks in my stomach to make my brain forget what 'scarier' means.

"Of course not my dear Vovka-"

"It's Vladimir." He hissed.

"Yeah, of course it is... Now, how can Mr. Richard help you and your- friends?" They 'politely' pushed me to a vacant table, I took a seat and did my best to stay awake. If they decide to kill me, at least I can see who shot first.

Dmitri was tall and burly, he could easily break my neck as If I was a chicken. He sat across the table and placed a small bottle of vodka in front of him.

"Veree vell Ricky..." Unlike his friends Dmitri had a terrible accent, you could barely understand him without the proper attention. Or without breaking into laughter (Of course this would certainly make me a dead man)

"Veez eez one of vee bottles of vudka you send to uhs." He pointed to the bottle. 'Pripyat' said the label.

"I see..." I scratched my neck "It's a really interesting bottle" I weakly smiled.

Please, don't open the bottle, anything, but the bottle! I thought

And he opened the bottle.

"Yehs, It eez indeed a really interesteng bottle. But you knoov vats more eez interesteeng?" Dmitri calmly filled a glass with ice and vodka.

"Ahh, I-I don't think I know."

In a sharp move, Dmitri threw the vodka right on my eyes, one of the ice cubes accidentally slipping inside my jacket.

"Fuck! Are you crazy?" I jumped from my seat shaking my arms until the ice finally came out. I whipped the thing from my eyes but indeed I haven't felt any pain, that because the 'vodka' inside the bottle was only-

Dmitri pushed me against the wall and held me by the neck. "Vater Richard!" He growled and shook me.

"Dimitri-"

"You filled the bottles veet fuckeeng vater!?"

"Dmitri stop!" Vovka or whatever his name said. The guy finally released my throat and turned his head furiously to look at his friend.

"Vat do you vant Vladim-" He stopped in mid sentence. The whole place was silent just staring at us, the casino's security guards whispered something among them. Probably joking about my level of screwiness now.

"Oh well..." I rubbed my neck "It was a pleasure to talk with you guys, but you know... Drinks and Russians can really exhaust someone. I think I'm gonna have some sleep- good bye!" Where there is life, there is hope.

"We're not done yet." He grabbed my arm "You already gave us enough problems my friend" Vlad discretely pointed his pistol to me.

You are probably wondering how could the security guards let them do this to me. Well my friends, one of the richest and powerful mobsters of the world is responsible for this. Let's just say that the security have better things to do rather than protect me from Dmitri Mikhailov and all his heavily armed fellows.

"You come with us..."

"Son of a bitch-" I squirmed in pain on the ground, Vlad observed my futile attempts to stand up with disdain. With one of my hands pressing my presumably broken rib cage, and the other one trying to find support in a nearby concrete pillar.

"You k-know-" I coughed "I should have filled those stupid bottles with vaseline, so y'all could stick'em inside your fucking Russian butts!" I spit some blood resultant from the earlier punches and wiped my lips with the jacket sleeve.

They just laughed.

I looked back to myself and to this pathetic situation; here I was, cornered by the mafia in a stupid casino garage. They with ak 47's and I with a whiskey bottle.

"Think positively Richard..." Said Vlad "Your dad would be so proud! Just look at you; a worthless little piece of shit. Just like him."

I gritted my teeth, my body ached from all the pain they've inflicted to me, physically and psychologically. They will kill me, and this is certain to happen very soon.

I'm not a religious guy, but when I saw Vlad raising his gun I thought it was probably a good time to reconsider my philosophy. I looked to my side and what my eyes spotted was probably one of the most beautiful sights of my life. Guess what; it wasn't woman, but my car.

It was parked on the ground floor, right under my feet. I smiled, if there is any god out there, I think he's rooting for me. The precious words of Don Corleone came to my mind; "You can act like a man!"

"Vat are ya laughing at?" Dmitri asked.

"It's none of your business-" The pain seemed to fade away as adrenalin filled my veins. I stood up, my shaking hand grasped the Jack Daniels bottle by its neck. "Think positively Vlad... Your dad should have taught you how to appreciate a nice, american, whiskey." I said "But there's no need to worry, since that old faggot didn't, I shall teach you by myself."

Before he could react, I threw the bottle right at his face. My legs moved automatically and I ran as fast as I could, almost instantly bullets started to hit everywhere around me. I couldn't go back anymore, If I had to die, I would die jumping from this window-

"FUCK!"

I body landed with a loud thump right on top of my car. My heart pounded inside my chest, there was no pain anymore. I desperately searched for the keys inside my pockets, I could heard the thugs approaching.

Come on.... Come on!

I finally opened the door, my hands were shaking, the key turned and I started the car. 'Yes!'

"Catch him!"

A hail of gunfire pierced through the roof, I stepped on the gas and the Maserati almost soared from the parking lot, trying to escape from the garage and at the same time from the bullets, I ran over the gate. The poor gatekeeper would soon find out why.

The gate lead directly to the Vegas Boulevard, I focused my vision on the road in front of me, doing a zig-zag motion back and forth through the lanes. I took a glance at the rear-view mirror; two black SUV's were cutting across the sidewalk to reach me.

"Oh no no no!" I ran through a red light and doing my best to dodge all the cars, went into a side street. I had to get in the freeway, it was my only chance to escape.

"I'm sorry!" Of course I couldn't avoid all the vehicles, so I eventually rip away some car mirrors.

I was starting to think that I had managed to mislead them, a sudden bump on the car back proved me wrong. My head slammed against the steering wheel, my vision was blurring again.

The world around me was a cacophony of sounds, the guys screamed unintelligible things in Russian, bullets crossed the air in all directions. I peered through the window, this was the wrong avenue, there was no freeway. There was no escape.

It was dim out there, but I could read a single sign; 'University of Las Vegas' "What the fuck-"

A single shot was the last thing I heard, it must have hit one of the tires because the car instantly lost control and skidded away from the road.

The world seemed to slow down as the Maserati overturned, glass shards, dirt, metal, grass... I tried to protect my eyes from the debris. With a final turn, the vehicle crashed at high speed into one of the university buildings.

It was smelling of fuel, it was painful, it was on fire and I probably would be dead soon.

But no...

Apparently, god don't like the concept of dead. No... Not today.

My night was just beginning.