I'M NOT A PONY! I'M A HEDGEHOG!

by Red Thunder

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Comedy, Romance
Length: 3586

A quick way to ruin a good day is to warp into some random dimension, and get arrested for something completely unrelated to you. You ever had one those days? No? Well if you did, you would know exactly what Sonic is going through...

I hate descriptions…I'm terrible at making them, but I can't avoid them. Anyways…lets go.

Life has been good for (almost) everyone's favorite blue hedgehog. Eggman was defeated yet again, he had an awesome adventure with his best bud, and to top it all off, he's now spending the rest of the day celebrating his 22nd birthday with his friends.

Everything was great…until the self-proclaimed, 'Ultimate Lifeform' decided to hold on the Idiot Ball (in Sonic's eyes), and take both Sonic and Silver onto a one-way ticket to another dimension ruled by sentient technicolor ponies, all thanks to a failed Chaos Control.

This lands the three hedgehogs into a predicament.

Not only is the Chaos Emerald being blocked off by some unknown source of power, but the three hedgehogs find themselves morphed into equine avatars of their former selves. To make matters worse, the citizens have placed them under arrest due to Shadow having an uncanny resemblance of some former tyrant that used to enslave said citizens.

Now under containment, they are given an ultimatum. Either go against law and face permanent banishment? Or be placed under strict supervision with the bearers of the Elements, learning how to integrate with Equestrian society.

Will the three hedgehogs face banishment, causing themselves to be forced to stay in Equestria until the end of time. Or will they learn the ways of an Equestrian, not only changing their lives, but also changing the lives of the Elements of Harmony as well.

After all, without chaos, harmony could never exist…right?

Chapter color indicate central focus for chapter.

Sonic
Shadow
Silver
Team Hedgehog

*Default means means no central focus, more group interaction. I may add more colors for future chapters.

*Story starts at Sonic Generations, and during the Equestria Games*

Full picture of the cover art can be viewed here

Cover Image made by myself.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-02 11:30:01 UTC

Chapter 1

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONIC....AGAIN!!!!"

Streamers and confetti were thrown around as all the Mobians present began to circle around the blue hedgehog. Sonic had defeated Dr. Eggman once again, except this time the doctor would be out of commission for indefinite period of time. Somehow the mad scientist managed to obtain and control a time controlling monster, in an attempt to undo all of his previous losses to the hedgehog.

Not only did his scheme fail spectacularly, but it also had the unfortunate side-effect of trapping both himself and his past in the endless white void that they created. Needless to say, they weren't going anywhere any time soon.

Now that all farewells to both Tails' and his own past selves were done, Sonic could finally enjoy his birthday free of any interruptions....

That was until Shadow showed up.

When Tails had planned for Sonic's party, he had originally considered inviting Shadow in a attempt to maybe cool things down between the two. However, as he was about to mail the invite, Sonic stormed in, ranting about 'uptight, smug emohogs that have the Ultimate Stick too far up their own ass.' It didn't help that Rouge had video called him seconds later, and when Tails heard Shadow demand to talk him, he quickly swallowed the invite whole.

Now that Shadow was here, Sonic saw this as a great opportunity to try and patch things up between them. Unfortunately for Sonic, Shadow wasn't really up for socializing with said speedster at the moment.

"I wouldn't have expected you to actually socialize for a change, eh Shadow?" Sonic asked, walking over to where the black hedgehog was talking with Blaze. Shadow's face grimaced slightly, as he saw Sonic coming his way. Blaze quickly walked away, sensing the heavy tension between the two rivals.

"Shows how much you know faker, I only communicate with people smart enough to spell IQ." Shadow replied smirking. A part of Sonic wanted to check him in the gut, but he kept face in order to preserve the peace. "Well I guess you would really enjoy talking to Big then huh? Anyways, that's not why I asked you that. Last time I checked, you were on a mission in Adabat. What made you change your mind?"

"Don't flatter yourself, I didn't change my mind, I was forced here after the doctor decided he was going to be Doctor Who for today." Shadow sighed and crossed his arms before continuing, "The Commander decided to give Team Dark the rest of the week off before we get redeployed. This gives me time to rest after my embarrassing loss to you."

Sonic chuckled, and rubbed the back of his quills as he remembered the battle he had with Shadow in the void. He could still feel the burst of pride he had when the black hedgehog finally went down.

"Oh yeah...Man I haven't had a good challenge like that in a while! Thanks for the match, Baldy McNosehair was much more easy to deal with instead of fighting you." Sonic chuckled, closing his eyes and holding out a hand for a shake.

If Sonic's eyes were open he would have noticed the death-inducing glare Shadow was giving him at that moment.

"What are you implying hedgehog?" Shadow asked uneasily, his former calm demeanor starting to fade away. To him, talking to the blue hedgehog was an annoyance of the highest caliber, and as much times he tried to avoid confrontation, he'd always find himself arguing with him. The fact that Sonic knew that he didn't want to be bothered with him, and yet still did anyway, irked him to no end.

"I'm just saying that I'd take Egghead over you any day if you were to somehow turn all bad again."

"I don't need any validation from the likes of you!" Shadow growled as he slapped Sonic's hand out of his way, he then began to walk away from his blue counterpart, hoping to get somewhere quieter, and away from the blue annoyance.

However, Sonic wasn't ready to give up that easily, and before the dark hedgehog could speed off, he put a hand on his shoulder, freezing him in his tracks. "Look Shadow, I get that you don't like me, but you're not going to come around and act all rude, just because you feel like I slighted you somehow. You don't have to like me, but can you at least try not to act like an entitled asshole for once!"

Later on Sonic would realize that he could have used a better choice of words.

~

*sigh*

Blaze sighed and shook her head as she watched the two hedgehogs bicker between themselves. When she had agreed to take some time out of the Sol Dimension, she had expected her visit be stress-free and full of relaxation. Being sucked into an endless void and turned into granite statue wasn't part of the travel brochure...

"Hey Blaze!"

Blaze's thoughts were interrupted as Silver came up to greet her. When she saw the albino hedgehog up close, she suppressed a laugh that somehow had crawled up her throat. Silver had a party hat on every single leaf on his pothead, I mean quills...

"S-Silver what do you have on your head?" Blaze asked, forcing down another laugh that threatened to escape.

"What these? They're party hats, there supposed to show ho-"

"Silver I know what party hats are." Blaze deadpanned, "What I meant to say was, why do you have so many of them?"

"Well, I had asked Knuckles what they were for, and he told me that they showed how much of a party expert you are. The more party hats you have the more you can have fun. I don't know how birthday parties are celebrated in the past... so I figured I could beat everyone if I had more than them!" Silver explained.

Blaze rolled her eyes and made a mental note to confront the red echidna after the party.

"Don't ever change Silver, or you'll end up like your fellow hedgehog companions behind me..." Blaze sighed, as she pointed to Sonic and Shadow, who at this point were full out attacking each other.

"What's wrong with them?"

"Oh nothing." Blaze began, "It's just that when you get two egotistical male hedgehogs, and force them to try to talk with one another, they'll end up trying to assert their dominance over one another."

"Shouldn't someone try to stop them before things get serious?" Silver asked worriedly.

"Conflict should be solved between the people involved, any interference will only make the situation grow quickly out of hand." Blaze explained, closing her eyes, "You should try your best to not get involved, otherwise you might end up fighting just like them. Okay Silver? Silver?"

Blaze opened her eyes, only to find the naive hedgehog running over to the fight, clearly ignoring her warning.

'Nothing good will come out of this...'

~

"What's your deal!" Sonic shouted as got into Shadow's face, "All I did was give you a compliment! What's your big issue me, huh?"

"You want to know what my problem is!" Shadow panted, he then pointed his finger into Sonic's chest, "My problem is with you and your carefree 'I don't give a shit' attitude! Can't you ever take something seriously?"

"I take everything seriously, when the times comes up for it, unlike you!" Sonic then pushed Shadow away from him, "You're always whining and moaning about every little thing, like the world revolves around you! Newsflash Shadow! IT DOESN'T!"

"Listen here you smug cu-"

"HEY! HEY! GUYS!" Silver interrupted, rushing in-between the two hedgehogs. He then held his hands on his knees to catch his breath, as he wasn't used to running all that much, "H-Hold on." *gasp * *pant*

"Are you...okay?" Sonic asked awkwardly.

"I'm O.K, I'm good. Now!" Silver suddenly exclaimed, clapping his hands together, "Sonic, this is your birthday. We all came out of our way to celebrate and have a good time with you, not watch you argue and fight with someone else!" Silver then towards Shadow, who stared back at him uncomfortably, "And I'm pretty sure you can hold off any grudges you have against Sonic until the next time you two meet Shadow."

Silver then put his arms around both hedgehogs’ shoulders, mentally reassuring them (in his mind) with a smile, "Now how about we shake hands, put all things aside, and let us eat cake?"

For a second it had appeared that Silver's inspirational speech had affected the two hedgehogs. The two of them seemed to be put into a deep reevaluation of their behavior beforehand, slowly but surely they began to question the way they went through life. There was a storm of epic proportions going through the mind of the two hedgehogs, and the Handshake Of Friendship™ was the only thing that could quell its path of destruction.

Fuck THAT! Who do you think this story is about, motherfucking Naruto and Sasuke!?

"You know what..." Shadow began, "That...has to be the biggest bunch of Hallmark bullshit I've heard in my entire life."

He then proceeded to grab the arm that Silver had wrapped around his shoulder, and flipped him over his head. He then leaped onto a nearby tree before looking down at the fallen psychokinetic, who was now glaring at him from below.

"I think you should go back and get a refund. You might even get a coupon to the nearest barber, if you're lucky." Shadow said, smirking.

"Leave him out of this Shadow; this is between me and you!" Sonic growled.

Shadow laughed, earning disapproving glare from the rest of the party goers, "If he didn't want to get involved, he wouldn't have gotten in my way. Now, as for you..." Shadow then pulled out a Chaos Emerald from behind his back, much to Sonic's chagrin.

He had anticipated Shadow somehow having an Chaos Emerald in his possession, but hadn't really thought about getting it away from him, especially since Tails had warned him about using them after fighting Eggman a while back. Apparently, the mustached-moron had screwed around with time so much, that the dimensional barriers that kept their reality in place was badly damaged. Any use of Chaos Emeralds in the next month or so, would cause unforeseen havoc and side-effects WAY out of his control.

Normally, the Chaos Emeralds would open a small hole in time & space to make a temporary portal to a dimension where everything is at a standstill except for the user. When the user ends Chaos Control they are warped and back into their original dimension, and the holes between the two realities are quickly mended. However, the more Chaos Emeralds that are used, the bigger the hole is, and with the whole ARK incident and the latest Eggman screw-up, the hole between other realities are almost as big as the Empire Building in Station Square.

Unfortunately for Shadow, Tails didn't get a chance to send him the message, so he was about to get a first hand experience of the side effects.

The Chaos Emerald shimmered brightly, its power coursing through Shadow's veins, filling his body to brim with positive energy. Shadow had noticed that while the Emerald was filling him with energy, it still felt like he had something draining him at the same time. Usually when he would Chaos Control, it would happen in an instant, with the slightest of ease, but right now, it felt as if he was holding a heavy weight against his body. A bright, white glow began to form and expand outward from Shadow's body, as he strained against the unseen pressure.

"Shadow wait! Silver, help me stop Shadow before it's too late!" Sonic yelled, rushing towards the now glowing hedgehog, Silver quickly following him a few seconds after.

"CHAOS CONTROL!"

However, their efforts were in vain, as suddenly, all the energy surrounding Shadow burst outward, enveloping the three hedgehogs before collapsing in on itself, leaving no trace of its carriers.

~

Twilight Sparkle was nervous.

No...scratch that, she was anxious. From the time she arrived with her friends to the Crystal Empire, an unknown sense of dread hung over her body. She had hoped that it would have been gone before the Equestrian Games started, but she had no suck luck. When Spike stopped the ice cloud from destroying the stadium, she'd thought that it would have went away for good, but still it persisted.

Apparently, the anxiety was clear as day, because Princess Celestia couldn't help but ask what was wrong.

"Twilight," Celestia asked, a frown appearing on her usually serene face, "You look troubled, would you like to share what is on your mind?"

Twilight smiled convincingly, hoping that it was enough to ease Celestia's suspicions, "Oh, it's nothing Princess, I'm just trying to get comfortable in my seat, that's all!"

Needless to say, Celestia wasn't convinced.

"I know when you are trying to hide something from me Twilight," Celestia scolded, causing the small alicorn to hang her head in shame, only for it to raise up again to meet the smiling face of her mentor, "You can tell me anything that's bothering you. Now tell me what has gotten you so downtrodden."

"Princess-"

"Twilight," Celestia interrupted, "We are all princesses here, aren't we? I would prefer if you called me Celestia instead, that way I still don't feel like I'm talking down to you."

"Sorry, C-Celestia" Twilight stammered, trying to hide the embarrassed blush that was on her face, "I don't want to sound like I'm galloping on somepony's parade, but I can't help but feel as if something terrible is going to happen."

The elder alicorn's face darkened slightly, her eyebrows creasing with slight worry, "Are you sure about this Twilight? Do you know when you started feeling this premonition?"

"Yes I'm sure of it." Twilight replied solemnly as she looked down at the crowd, wishing that she could enjoy herself without any added anxiety, "Normally, I would probably deduce this feeling as something else in itself, but it feels so foreign, so unnatural. I can't really explain how it's affecting me, but I know that whatever it is, it can't be good."

"I see...so Luna wasn't wrong when she had felt signs of impending chaos..." Celestia murmured to herself, puzzling her protege in the proccess. "Thank you for the warning Twilight, I shall see that the Royal Guard will be on high alert for any disturbances, but for now, why don't you sit with your friends? I could tell that you've been yearning to talk to them for a while now."

Twilight fumbled in her seat, "I-It's not that I don't want to enjoy the gam-"

"Relax Twilight," Celestia interrupted, "I want you to have fun, so why don't you go and enjoy yourself?"

Twilight blushed and the quickly bowed before the white alicorn, "I-If it's okay with you your majesty..." She than ran off, eager to watch the closing ceremony with her best friends.

~

"Twilight! Twilight! Over here!"

The purple alicorn turned around to where Pinkie Pie was bouncing around, trying to grab her attention. The pink mare was waving, screaming, and basically causing a general disturbance to those who were watching the games. However, nopony had tried to stop her, fearing that they might go insane from trying to make sense of the nonsensical mare.

At one point the Royal Guard had shown up in the stands, ready to arrest a pony who had somehow gotten a cannon inside the stadium. When they had found it was just Pinkie shooting confetti out of her party cannon, they just blinked and let the mare go on, even when she had shot a few streamers in their snouts.

Twilight couldn't blame them for trying.

"Hey girls, what's going on?" Twilight asked as she took a seat next to the pink pony, who was now gobbling down popcorn, bucket after bucket.

"Well it's about time you showed up sugarcube!" Applejack exclaimed, "We were wonderin' if you were goin' to show up, I mean you wouldn't want to miss out on the closing ceremony?"

"Are you kidding! I felt so bad for taking away Spike's big moment." Twilight sighed, and hung her head down, remembering how devastated her little brother had looked when she had confessed to him about secretly 'stealing his thunder'. "I don't know how I would be able to live with myself if I didn't somehow make it up to him."

"I'm pretty sure he would forgive ya', Twilight, there's no reason for you to get so fussed up' about it."

"I guess..." Twilight replied, unsure if she actually believed that herself. When she had said that, Applejack stared at the purple alicorn suspiciously. She might not have known Twilight for a long time, but she had picked up on some of the mare’s physical cues that she's display when upset or stressed. Right now, Twilight looked like somepony had poured her a glass of lemonade without sugar, and told her that it was apple juice.

"Hey Twi?" Applejack asked, putting a hoof on the mare's shoulder, "You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

For a second Twilight considered telling Applejack, about the whole cloud of uneasiness that had been following her throughout the visit, but then she had saw Apple Bloom laughing along with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. She then had felt angry at herself focusing too hard on the negative, and not trying to have fun with her friends.

"It's okay, Applejack." Twilight replied, a smile finally sprouting across her face, "Let's just watch the rest of the ceremony..."

Applejack smiled and gave Twilight a quick reassuring hug, she then turned around as trumpets began to blow down below, but still she couldn't shake the thought that her friend was hiding something from her.

'Somethin' ain't right here Twi, and knowin' you, it's probably somethin' real nasty.'

~

"...We thank all of you for attending this year's Equestrian Games! Unfortunately all good things must come to an end, so without further ado! We shall commence with the ceremonial Equestrian fireworks show!"

There was a loud roar as the crowed cheered and stomped their hooves on the ground causing Spike to gulp nervously, hoping that he didn't suffer a repeat of the introductions a few days earlier. Ms. Harshwhinny led him out to the middle of the field, leading him to where the unlit color rockets were lined up on the field.

Spike stood in the middle of the field, sweating bullets as ponies and griffons alike stared down at him expectantly, like how a dragon would like at sugar coated diamond before devouring it, never to be seen again.

Suddenly, the idea of leaving town and creating a new identity in Saddle Arabia under the name of Spyro, didn't sound too bad to him.

"Hey." Spike flinched, as he felt somepony place a hoof on his shoulder. He looked up and found the reassuring grin of his older brother Shining Armor, "Don't think to hard about it, just get the job done."

His confidence renewed, Spike marched up to center stage. He took a couple of deep breaths to make sure that he was stable, and when he finally felt the fire crawling up his throat, he exhaled, unleashing a stream of hot flames that lit the fuses. After a few seconds, the rockets jetted into the sky and bursted into brilliant colors, eliciting another chorus of cheers from the excited crowd.

"I did it! Can you believe Shining?" Spike exclaimed hopping up and down.

Shining Armor chuckled as he watched the small purple dragon dance around the field. "You sure did little guy." Suddenly, the fireworks started to burst erratically and more frequently, almost as if they were glowing.

"A little too well I might add..."Shining Armor murmured as started to feel uneasy about the 'fireworks' display in front of him. All the while this was happening Spike was still celebrating his recent achievement.

His celebration was cut short, as he was tackled to the ground by Shining Armor. "GET DOWN!" There was a sudden flash of light and intense surge of heat as light exploded and blurred Spike's vision. A collective gasp rang out through the stadium, as everypony watched their light show morphed into something entirely different.

Because he was being held against the ground, and blinded by the light, Spike could not see anything within five feet of him. However, that didn't stop him from hearing the distinct sound of three sets of hooves hitting the ground. The sound didn't get past Shining Armor either, because the white stallion quickly got off the dragon and brandished both a spear and a shield, ready to apprehend any criminals.

"Halt! In the name of the Crys-"

*CLANG*

There was a loud clatter as Shining Armor suddenly dropped his weapons, his previous determined look was washed over by fearful surprise, which soon turned into a sense of morbid disbelief.

"No...It can't be...Spike destroyed you...."

The light that previously illuminated the stadium, finally faded away, allowing the crowd to finally be able to witness the result of the strange 'fireworks', but when they looked toward center field, a nasty reminder of a forgotten past was standing right there in front of their eyes, causing Griffin and pony alike, to sit in terrified silence.

King Sombra had returned to the Crystal Empire.