Honey, You Can't Sew

by StageQuill

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other
Length: 1936

Can Twilight Velvet create things other than card catalogs? Can she... Sew?

Will Smarty Pants be made? Will Twilight discover the secret before it's time? Will Shining Armor ever learn to pay the bassoon?

Will we ever know the answer to that last question?

Published 2014-01-26 17:00:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-26 17:00:05 UTC

And That's How Smarty Pants was made.

And That's How Smarty Pants was made.

Twilight Velvet hummed to herself as she sewed. She layered the fabrics together and whipped the needle through, in, out, up, down, thread and cloth attaching with a telekinetically moved needle.

"What're you making?" Night Light appeared behind her. Twilight jumped, stabbing herself with the needle.

"Ouch!" Twilight turned, eyes narrowing at her husband. "That was not necessary. What did I tell you about sneaking up on ponies holding sharp objects?"

"Sweetheart, I don't think we've had that exact talk yet." Night Light slid into the chair across the table from his wife. "So, what're you making?"

"I'll tell you, since you asked so nicely," Twilight Velvet grumbled. "I am making a rag doll."

"A rag doll? Honey..." Night Light looked at the pile of thread, cloth and stuffing that his wife was jabbing at with a pointy metal thing. "Have you ever actually sewn before?"

"Nope," Twilight Velvet said, gritting her teeth. "But a friend of mine made the most adorable doll for her filly before the filly was born, so I thought I'd do the same for ours. Our filly, I mean. Not that Twilight Sparkle isn't born yet. I mean, she's already born. But better late than never, right, dear?" The needle got stuck in the cloth, and Twilight Velvet had to yank as hard as she could to get it through. "Right?"

Night Light smiled a little too widely, a little too fast. "What? Oh- Yes, honey, of course." Night Light looked at the mess. "Um, Twilight, do you have a pattern you're basing that off of?"

"Nope!" Twilight Velvet smiled brightly. "I don't have time for patterns. I'm a smart mare, I can do this myself!" Twilight yanked the needle through the cloth so hard that the thread broke. She reknotted it and continued to sew, a loop of thread sticking out of the cloth.

Night Light sucked in air through his teeth. "Oh, sure you can," he muttered. Twilight Velvet's head snapped up.

"Was that sarcasm?" she asked. Night Light bit his lower lip.

"No. Maybe. Okay, yes." Twilight Velvet narrowed her eyes again and Night Light held up his hooves. "The most experienced of seamstresses and tailors still use patterns, Twilight. I'm just suggesting that you might want to get one from your friend?"

Twilight Velvet growled. It was a definite growl, throaty and grumpy. "I can do this myself!" she said, flipping the doll so she could sew the other side. "All by myself!"

"Sweetheart, there's no shame in using a pattern."

"I. Don't Need. A Pattern!" Twilight Velvet snarled.

Night Light groaned. "All right, Sweetheart. Why don't I get you some milk or some water or something? Maybe you should sleep before finishing this doll?" Night Light got up, making no sudden movements.

"Coffee would be great." Twilight grinned. Her white and lavender mane was starting to stick out at odd angles from her motion as she watched the needle move. "I'm going to stay up until I finish this doll!"

"Are you sure that's wise...?" Night Light was halfway to the kitchen, and turned to face his wife.

"Of course! I'm in the zone!" Twilight Velvet smiled at her husband, straining to keep her eyes open.

"Oh. Well. If that's the case..." Night Light backed out of the room. "I'll leave you to it, then."

"Where's my coffee?" Twilight Velvet called after him. Night Light reentered.

"Right here, honey." He placed the mug on the table in front of Twilight Velvet. "I think I'll go to sleep now."

Twilight Velvet nodded, too lost in cutting fabric to answer.

Night Light woke up vaguely concerned. Something was off. But what-

Twilight Velvet wasn't in bed. It was four in the morning, and Twilight Velvet, possibly the world's most sleep-loving unicorn, was not in bed.

Night Light sighed. She had probably fallen asleep over the rag doll. He knew what he had to do when these things happened. Like the time she'd been too absorbed in reading books on naming colts to actually come up with a name, or the time she'd been so into that book on how to squeeze sleep into a busy schedule that she forgot to sleep. Night Light slid himself groggily out of bed and went to fetch his wife. If she didn't get to bed now, she never would.

When he walked into the hall, he heard humming. Was Twilight Velvet seriously still awake? Night Light opened the door from the hall to the living room and saw Twilight Velvet, still at the table, still busily sewing away at that one rag doll.

Or not. Twilight Velvet was now sewing away at a different rag doll, one that looked better than the first.

Scratch that, better than the second.

"Is this your third doll?" Night Light asked, walking over to the table and examining his wife's work. The one he assumed was her first looked like a circle with little strings sticking out, presumably legs and a horn, and two polka dots on top, possibly eyes.

The second was less round and more oval, but still unrecognizable as a pony. The eyes looked more like large blue cheeks.

"Yes, Night Light." Twilight Velvet looked at the doll she was working on with a smile that could only be described as calculating. "This is my third. Isn't it a beauty?" Twilight Velvet floated it just in front of Night Light's face.

A beauty? Well, it actually looked like a pony. It was oblong, the legs were in the proper places, the eyes were above the nose...

"You did this without a pattern?" Twilight removed the pony-in-progress from the space directly in front of Night Light's face and continued to work on it. "This is your first time sewing?" Night Light looked at the doll that Twilight Velvet was currently sewing a horn on to. "Impressive, Twilight. This is great!" Night Light's eyes widened as he watched the horn connect to the head.

"Of course! I told you I could do it! I'm a smart mare! Smart mares don't need patterns." Twilight Velvet's expression made Night Light uneasy. It reminded him of Twilight Sparkle after she won an argument by throwing a tantrum. "Now I want to sleep. Let's sleep." Twilight Velvet shoved the rag doll into Night Light's arms. "Hide this. I want it to be a surprise for Twilight Sparkle." With that, Twilight Velvet left the room.

Night Light turned the doll over in his hooves. It was surprisingly well made. He shrugged. Twilight Velvet was a smart mare. He smiled. That was one of the reasons he'd married her, after all. He looked around the room for a hiding spot, before deciding on just taking it back to the bedroom and putting it in his sock drawer. Twilight Velvet was already snoring when he crawled back into bed.

"Daddy?"

Night Light opened one eye. Twilight Sparkle was standing over him, holding a piece of paper.

"I think a fairy or something left this magic spell on the table!" Twilight Sparkle held out a paper for her father to see. "I can't read it. I didn't see this spell in any book. What is it? What does it do?" Night Light opened his other eye and looked at his overexcited filly. He took the spell in his magic and looked at it. Night Light grinned, the gears in his head turning madly.

"This isn't a spell, sweetheart." Twilight Sparkle's ears drooped. "Come on, let's go to the library."

Twilight Sparkle perked up. "Okay!" She said brightly. Night Light yawned.

"Give me a moment to get ready," he said, blinking. "Then we can go."

"Yes!" Twilight skipped out of the room. Night Light examined the paper again and laughed.

"That dinner was delicious." Night Light leaned back in his chair.

"I'm glad that that place down the street has a delivery service," Twilight Velvet agreed.

"May I be excused?" Twilight Sparkle asked. "I have some reading to do."

"Yeah, and I need to practice my bassoon," Shining Armor said.

"Shining, you don't play the bassoon," Night Light said.

"Now I do." Shining tried to slip away from the table but was pulled back by Twilight Velvet's magic.

"Wait! I have a present for your sister," Twilight Velvet said.

"No, seriously, we just started a music block today. I have to practice the bassoon." Shining Armor attempted to leave the table.

"What about my present?" Twilight Sparkle asked. Twilight Velvet turned to her and levitated a wrapped package her way.

"Mommy made it herself."

"Ooh!" Twilight Sparkle squealed, tearing open the paper. She took out the gift and her face fell. "A doll?"

"Look!" Twilight Velvet cried, frantically trying to improvise something special about the doll so that her daughter would like it. "It comes with a paper and quill, so she can do her homework!" Twilight Velvet levitated the said objects from the nearby counter with a frenzy usually associated with foals showing their parents pretty drawings. Instantly, Twilight Sparkle's face broke into a smile.

"Ooh! I'm going to name her Smarty Pants!" Twilight exclaimed, embracing the gifts. "Thanks, mommy!" Twilight Sparkle dashed out of the room, presumably to begin giving her rag doll homework. Twilight Velvet sighed, leaning back. She gazed at Night Light. In the background, a bassoon began to play.

"You made that all by yourself." Night Light said. "No pattern." Twilight Velvet's ears pricked up. "I'm proud of you, honey." Night Light smiled.

"Mmm-Hmm." Twilight Velvet nodded.

"No pattern. That's really something," Night Light mused. "your first time sewing."

"No pattern," Twilight Velvet replied. She looked shrewdly at her husband, as if daring him to challenge her.

"Impressive," Night Light answered.

The house seemed very empty without foals in it. Night Light and Twilight Velvet had time to relax.

"We've come far," Night Light said.

"What?" Twilight Velvet looked up from her book.

"We've come a long way from being the struggling lamp manufacturer and struggling librarian we once were." Night Light said. "And your sewing's gotten better."

"Smarty Pants was wonderful! Twilight still has her! She might even still sleep with her!" Twilight Velvet said, defensively.

"Speaking of Smarty Pants - you really didn't use a pattern?"

"This again?" Twilight Velvet turned the page in her book.

"I have something for you." Night Light smiled devilishly and left the room. Twilight Velvet sighed and kept reading.

Night Light reentered the room, carrying a small, folded piece of paper.

"What's that?" Twilight Velvet asked.

"The pattern you used for Smarty Pants!" Night Light declared. Twilight Velvet unfolded the paper. Her jaw worked, her eyes bulged and she burst into laughter.

"What?" Night Light demanded. "What?"

"You kept this the whole time?" Twilight Velvet gasped, between laughs. Night Light nodded, ears drooping.

"Sweetheart, I've been looking for that. Those are sketches I did while making Smarty pants so I could give the pattern to my friends, not a pattern I followed!" Twilight Velvet shook her head. "Too late now, I guess. Give it to me." Twilight Velvet smoothed the sketch and smiled at Night Light. Night Light let out an almost imperceptible sigh as he walked out of the room.

Twilight Velvet finished her book. She shut it with a satisfying 'thunk' and walked over to her personal bookshelf to put it away. She glanced at a certain book she'd hidden and smiled.

"It'll be our secret," she whispered to the book entitled 'How to Make Dolls: A Pattern Guide'.

Author's Note

Constructive criticism is welcome.