The Things You See On The Internet...by Zanem-JiChaptersFanfiction.net: Non-Canon MADE Canon (CMC & Mane 6)Youtube: The Internet's Gateway Drug (Mane 6 & Spike)Urban Dictionary: Cracks In The Fourth Wall (Pinkie, Dash, & Twilight)Chatroulette: Sometimes, You're Just Asking For It (Vinyl Scratch & Fluttershy)Slender Man(e): When You Feel Like Scaring Yourself. (Rarity, Sweetie Belle, & Scootaloo)Gizoogle: My Little Gangsta; Thugness is Magic (Mane 6 & Discord)MySpace: What's That? (Ditzy & Dinky)Fanfiction.net: Non-Canon MADE Canon (CMC & Mane 6)The Cutie Mark Crusaders were all chilling in Sweetie Belle’s room, relaxing after a hard day of work and school. Sweetie was doing homework, Apple Bloom was drawing, and Scootaloo was on the computer, laughing at reaction videos from ponies playing scary pranks on each other. “Wow, that dude scared the crap outta him!” Scootaloo stated between chuckles. “That’s wonderful Scoots. Now, can you give me 10 minutes of ‘shut the hell up’?” Sweetie questioned. “I’m trying to finish my trigonometry homework.” “No one told you to take trigonometry in the 10th grade!” Scootaloo hopped out of her chair and began to prance around, “Look at me. I’m Sweetie Belle! I’m 15, and my I.Q level is 273! But I’m a jackass, so I like to show off how smart I am, by taking a 12th grade class when I’m in the 10th grade! I guess that makes me a genius jackass!” Sweetie jumped out of her bed. She ruffled up her mane, and cleared her throat, “Hey, I’m Scootaloo!! I don’t have to say ‘Look at me’ because I have an obnoxiously loud voice that can be heard within a 300 mile radius!!!” Scootaloo growled. Apple Bloom giggled, but cut it short when the young Pegasus shot her a glare. “Anyway, I think I’m a tough, awesome Pegasus, even though I can still barely fly!! I also squawk like a chicken, but my face looks like a pig’s!!” “At least I don’t sound like one, Ms. ‘I snort every time I laugh’!!” Scootaloo pointed at Sweetie Belle. The curly maned Unicorn gasped, “I do not! You take that back!” Scootaloo then began to mock Sweetie’s laugh, snorts included. Sweetie tackled her spiky maned companion. While they duked it out, Apple Bloom decided to get on the computer. She had grown use to their brawls, something that the two had started doing as they got older. She scrolled through the computer, looking up websites and interesting pictures. Her eyebrow then perked up as her eyes fell upon a certain page. “Hey girls, come on over here an’ take a look at this here website.” The ponies stopped in mid fight. Sweetie had a good grip on Scootaloo’s mane, while Scootaloo’s left hoof was jammed into Sweetie’s cheek. “What is it?” Scootaloo asked. “Some kinda website called Fanfiction.net.” The strawberry maned pony replied. “It’s got bunch of fake stories made by fans of all these T.V shows, movies, books, an’ other things like that.” Her amber eyes lit up, “An’ My Lil’ Ponies have 25,318 stories in their archive!” The two mares rushed to each side of her. “They got any other shows?” Scootaloo asked. Sweetie turned to her, “We’re in a show?” Scootaloo blinked, “Wait, what?” “Shuddup, I’m trying to see what all they have.” Apple Bloom commanded before turning back to the screen, “They got Sailor Moon, Inuyasha, Lilo an’ Stitch-” Scootaloo rolled her eyes, “Do they have any shows NOT named after someone?” Sweetie scratched her head,"Am I the only one that doesn't know we're in a show?" Apple Bloom ignored her to respond to Scootaloo.“Yeah. They’ve got them Powerpuff Girls, Adventure Time, My Lil’ Ponies-“ “Click on the My Little Ponies archive.” the Pegasus commanded. The pony obeyed, “Ya can choose which characters are in the story, the genre, what it’s rated, if ya wantin’ tah read one that’s finished or not…” Sweetie and Scootaloo exchanged a look, both grinning wickedly. “Okay, click on these things:” Sweetie instructed. “Applejack, Big Mac, Romance, M rated, and Complete.” The Earth Pony eyed her suspiciously, but did it anyway. After a few seconds, it came up with a list of stories. She clicked on the first story, and read it’s title out loud, “When Two Became One.” Sweetie and Scootaloo snickered. Poor Apple Bloom didn’t have a clue as to what they were up to. The trio began to read the story. The first paragraph was okay, but with each sentence after that, their eyes got wider, and their mouths dropped open. “Oh…My…Gods.” They whispered. There were a few moments of silence. Then: One screamed in shock, Two roared with laughter, All three filled the house with noise. Rarity rushed into the room, followed by her friends. “What in Equestria is going on in here?!” Rarity asked. Scootaloo and Sweetie were rolling around and laughing but they managed to point at the computer screen. Apple Bloom was still frozen with shock, slack jawed as she blankly stared at the screen. Rarity walked over and looked at the screen. She did a quick scan of the story, and then joined in on the laughter. “Oh dear Celestia, talk about a sibling bond!” The violet maned Unicorn wheezed out. “It doesn’t get any closer than that!” At that point, everyone rushed up to the screen. Applejack and Big Mac were up in front. The siblings’ faces heated up as they all read the short, but steamy story. The group looked at them, and they looked at each other. “EWWW!!!!” Applejack and Big Mac screamed in disgusted harmony, causing everyone to explode with laughter. After a good 10 minutes of hoof stomping and laughing, they all looked back at the computer screen. “Wow. Okay, do another one.” Dash asked as she wiped tears of laughter from her eyes. Fluttershy took over the computer for the mentally scarred Apple Bloom. She scrolled through the genres. “They have an ‘It’s A Mystery’ section.” Fluttershy pointed out in her usual quiet tone. “Click on that one!” the cyan Pegasus pointed at the screen. Fluttershy did so, and the story they picked was called: “Making All That Noise…” They checked the summary. “It doesn’t say who the main characters are. The story is a Humor/Romance short that’s complete and rated M.” Twilight stated. “I guess we’re supposed to read it in order to figure out who the characters are.” Pinkie Pie added. Fluttershy opened up the story. They all read it together. Some slapped a hoof over their mouth, while others let their jaws hit the floor. All of them were silenced by the graphic details of the story. Dash and Pinkie were the first to make noise, “HOLY SHIT!!” They screamed in unison. “The two characters are-” -MLP- Elsewhere… Octavia, Vinyl Scratch, Derpy, Carrot Top, and Zecora were having a lunch date at ‘Welcome To A Slice Of Italy’. They all were chatting and laughing and enjoying their meals. Suddenly, Octavia and Vinyl sneezed at the same time. The three mares looked at them, while they looked at each other. “Well, that was weird.” Octavia stated as she rubbed her snout. Zecora smiled, “I was told this once, and it seems to be true. When you let out a sneeze, somepony is speaking about you. Vinyl smirked, “Somepony must be talking about how amazing and handsome I am.” Carrot Top rolled her eyes and Derpy giggled. Vinyl caught them, “Hmpf, what do you two know? You two are gay.” Carrot Top glared at her, but Derpy looked just as confused as ever. “But, Vinyl, aren’t you a girl? How...how can you be handsome?” Derpy asked. “Just what I was going to say.” Carrot Top agreed. “Besides, you’re gay as well.” Vinyl grumbled at losing the argument, but finished her meal with her lover and friends. Octavia sneezed again. Then Vinyl. This was going to be a very long luncheon. Author's Note I had finally decided to make this multiple one-shots with a tinge of continuation for certain chapters. Posting will come when they come (working on other projects) so bear with me!! Youtube: The Internet's Gateway Drug (Mane 6 & Spike)“Whew! Today was busier than usual, huh Winona?” Applejack asked her pet as they left the cow pastures to head back to their house. The dog barked out an agreement before continuing her panting. Today had consisted of far more than just tending to the animals and bucking trees, but Applejack was feeling pleased nonetheless. There was nothing more satisfying than knowing she had completed a hard day of work. And after completing such a day, she loved a well-earned rest. She smiled inwardly at the thought of it. She really didn’t love anything more than rest. Well, except for her family, of course. Her friends too, but family first. Yep, Granny Smith, Apple Bloom… Big Mac. She shuddered inwardly as the memories of that story she read online flooded her brain. The story was so…what’s a word Rarity would’ve used? Repulsive. Yeah, that was it. She shook her head to get rid of the thoughts of that horrible story and made her way inside. She trotted up the stairs and headed towards her room. She heard Apple Bloom giggling and smiled. She was always wanting the best for her younger sister, and making sure the young mare was happy. She stopped though, when she heard the giggle morph into a ridiculously loud guffaw. She turned around and headed to her sister’s room. She opened the door to see Apple Bloom glued to her laptop, laughing at something on the screen, “Ah thought ya was s’posed tah be doin’ yer homework?” Applejack questioned. Apple Bloom looked up at her, “Relax sis, Ah’ve been done fer almost an hour now. Ah was just watchin’ some funny videos online. Scoots gave me this website that she uses, an’ it’s got a ton of great videos on it.” Applejack took a seat beside her sister, “What’s it called?” “Youtube.” Applejack froze. She had heard of this site before. It was like the gateway drug of the internet. There were so many videos for Apple Bloom to watch, that the young mare probably didn’t know where to start. As of now, the screen had been paused on two stallions and a mare, their faces contorted into shock and disgust. “So uh…what video are ya watchin’ in particular?” Applejack questioned. “Just some reactions to a video that’s s’posed tah be super gross.” “What’s the video called?” “’Two Mares, One Cup’.” Apple Bloom replied as she opened up another browser. “Ah’ve tried tah find it, but every time Ah do, the parental block keeps poppin’ up!” she huffed and crossed her forelegs, “Why do Ah gotta have a parental block? Ah don’t even have parents!!” Applejack snorted angrily and smacked the back of her sister’s head, “Watch that mouth of yers! We do have parents, that are lookin’ down on us from the Heaven Fields, and they ain’t happy with yer words right now!” Apple Bloom gingerly rubbed the back of her head, “Alright, Ah’m sorry. Geez…” she started typing something up before she stopped. She sniffed the air, her face scrunched up, and she turned to Applejack, “Sis, ya need tah take a shower. Ya smell. Bad.” Applejack got up, “Ah smell like hard work.” She swatted her little sister with her tail, “Unlike yerself.” Apple Bloom smacked away the offending tail, “Ah do hard work fer mah brain now, not mah body. Ah need tah be smart if Ah wanna be a good alchemist like Zecora.” “Yeah, yeah.” Applejack stated before trotting out of the room and heading to her own. She headed for the bathroom and jumped into the shower. As she did, she found herself wondering what ‘Two Mares, One Cup’ actually was. What about that video freaked out the ponies that Apple Bloom was watching? How bad could it possibly have been? Well, obviously bad enough that the parental blocker wouldn’t allow her to see it, but so bad that Youtube would only let you watch videos of other ponies freaking out about it? This had peaked her interest, and now she had to see this video for herself. Unfortunately, the only computer in the house was Apple Bloom’s. There was no way she’d be able to watch the video without being caught and questioned by her. She scratched her chin, “Where can Ah watch that damn video?” She thought for a while longer, and suddenly, the idea popped into her head. She knew just where to go, and she’d make sure to head there first thing tomorrow. -MLP- The next day… Applejack had found herself lucky. Twilight decided to hold a little get-together for the Mane Six at her castle. The Earth Pony sat in the castle’s dining room, surrounded by her best friends, as they all chatted and ate the various dishes laid out in front of them. She decided that there wouldn’t be a better time than now to ask her question. “Does anypony know what ‘Two Mares, One Cup’ is?” They stared at her for a moment, then looked at one another. Dash scratched her chin, “It sounds familiar…” she suddenly smiled and slammed her hooves on the table, “I remember what it is now!” she turned to Twilight, “Is the library’s main computer on?” Twilight nodded, “Well yes, it should be-” “YES!!!” the Pegasus jumped up and galloped out of the room. A few seconds later, her head popped from around the door frame, “Why are none of you following me?” Rarity rolled her eyes, “Because nopony wants to follow you. If you’re so excited about this, it can’t be anything good.” She focused back on her plate, “Or legal, for that matter…” Dash stomped a hoof, “Come on! Just check it out. I promise, it won’t take much of your time.” Applejack rose from her seat, “Well, Ah did ask if anypony knew what it was.” She trotted past Dash, “So of course, I’m in.” Dash grinned, “See? It cant’t be as bad as you think if AJ wants to see what it is.” “But Applejack admitted that she doesn’t even know what it is…” Fluttershy responded. “Then this is a great opportunity to…” she grinned even harder, “LEARN about it.” The Wonderbolt knew she got what she wanted as she watched Twilight’s ears perk up. “Learning? I love learning!!” she jumped out of her chair, “Let’s go girls! To the library!” Pinkie and Fluttershy rose from their seats. Rarity let out a groan/sigh of defeat, before following them. They headed to the library wing of the castle. Spike was busy typing up a report of some sort, when he felt six ponies staring at the back of his head. He spun around in his custom wheelie chair to face them, “Uh…are you girls okay? Can I help you with anything?” “We need the computer.”Dash stated. “They want to learn about something, and I’m going to teach them.” Spike snorted as he stifled his laughter, “You? YOU? You’re going to teach them something?” He got up and stepped to the side, “This, I have to see.” Dash plopped down into the large chair and quickly typed in a link to the video. “Spike, move yer big butt tah the back!” Applejack ordered. Spike grumbled as he moved to the back of the small group. Dash opened the page to the video, “Oh, wait a sec.” she reached under the desk and grabbed the trash can. She placed it on the desk next to the monitor. Confusion washed over the group, “W-why is that there?” Fluttershy questioned. Dash ignored her, “Before I start this, nopony is allowed to leave.” “Rainbow, what’s going on?” Twilight asked, a bit of concern lacing her voice. “Yeah, why can’t we leave?” Applejack asked. “Because I’m daring you not to leave.” There was a moment of silence before Applejack spoke up again. “Ah don’t back down from no dare. Ah’m in.” Pinkie shrugged, “Okay!!” Twilight rolled her eyes, “I thought this was going to be a learning experience.” “It is! And I DARE you to LEARN about this!!” The lavender Alicorn rubbed her temples, “Fine. You’re an ass though…exploiting my love for learning like this.” Rarity got up and started to leave, “I’m not staying. I’ll see you girls when you’re all done.” Dash leaned into Pinkie’s ear, “She can’t leave. Go get her.” Pinkie nodded and literally vanished from the group. They looked at the spot where Pinkie had been, a small cloud of dust confirming she really just vanished. They suddenly heard a shriek from Rarity be cut off, and turned to see that she was gone as well. There was a *POOF!* sound, and they turned back to see Pinkie was back in the middle of their group, clutching onto a disheveled and borderline hyperventilating Rarity. The marshmellow colored Unicorn quickly looked around the group, then at Pinkie, “What the hell just happened?!” Pinkie smiled, “Dashie said not to let you leave. So I grabbed you!” Rarity got out of Pinkie’s grasp and moved to sit in between Applejack and Dash. She inhaled a calming breath, fixed her mane, and then landed a quick and heavy punch to Dash’s ribcage. The Wonderbolt let out a pained grunt and leered at Rarity, “What the fuck was that for?!” “For sending Pinkie to get me, that’s what!” Dash grumbled as she scrolled over to the ‘play’ button and clicked on it. Soft piano music emitted from the speakers as the group stared at the screen. After a few seconds, Spike’s face lit up, “Alright, Filly Foolers!!” Twilight smacked his arm, “Show some courtesy! A good portion of Ponyville's citizens are lesbimares, which is the proper term for them, as I have taught you before!” “How long are they going to make out?” Fluttershy asked, as her eyes kept flickering away from the screen. “Uh…what’s she doin?” Applejack questioned. “What’s she gonna do with that cup? It’s awful close tah-” The group’s pupils, save for Dash’s, shrank to pinpricks. Their mouths dropped open as Dash snickered. “What the fuck is this?!” Rarity shrieked, all traces of her prim and proper behavior now nonexistent. “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!?!” Twilight leapt into the air, “Spike, cover your eyes!!” She flailed her hooves in his face, only for him to wrap his tail around her form, and force her to the ground, “Can’t back out of Dash’s dare…” he responds to her in a flat tone. “OHDEAROHDEAROHDEAROHDEAR!!” Fluttershy shrieked repeatedly as she jumped up to flee the room. Dash was cackling and wiping tears from her eyes as she gave Pinkie the command once more, “Dude-don’t let her leave!!” Pinkie nodded. POOF!! She was gone. POOF!! She was back, latched on to a terrified yellow Pegasus. “NOPONY LEAVES THE FREAKIN’ ROOM!!” Pinkie screamed in her soprano-like tone. “NOPONY!!!” “But I can’t take this anymore!!” Fluttershy cried out. “This is illogical! Why would somepony want to-OH MY GODS, MAKE THEM STOP!!!” Twilight screamed. Her horn glowed brightly as she used her magical grasp to yank the trash can towards her, “OH NO! NOT NEAR ME!!” Spike roared as he chucked his boss/sister behind him. His stomach grumbled and churned violently at the sound of explosive vomit splattering on the floor and the walls. He jumped up quickly, “I can’t stand the sound of puking!!” he cried out. “Let me outta here!!” He turned, only to find Pinkie blocking the door, “WHEN I SAID NOPONY LEAVES, I MEANT THAT!!” “I’M NOT EVEN A FUCKING PONY, I'M A DRAGON!! NOW GET OUT OF MY WAY!!” "NOOO!!" Fluttershy broke down into tears as Rarity was the second to throw up. Dash was bent over with laughter, and Applejack’s jaw was nearly touching the floor. It all happened too fast for her, The piano music. This taboo image playing out before her. The sound of chaos and vomit all behind her. The smell of puke hit her nostrils. Bile hit the back of her throat. And she let it out. She spewed it onto the screen. Droplets hit Dash as she went from laughing to screaming out in disgust. Her vision went watery, and then to black. -MLP- Applejack woke up to the sound of the fire department and yelling. She rubbed her head and slowly sat up. Snot and leftover vomit caked her muzzle as she looked around in confusion. Her best friends (except for Rainbow Dash, because she was going to FUCKING MURDER HER when she got the chance to do so!) were all sitting together not too far away from her. Pinkie suddenly popped into her field of vision, “Hey there Sleepy Head!! How are you feeling?” “Ah feel like a bunch of dragons threw a party inside mah head…” Applejack replied as she rubbed her temples. Pinkie smiled, “Well, we’d rather you have a headache than be burned to death!” Applejack stopped rubbing her head, “What the hell are ya talkin’ about?” Pinkie helped the Earth Pony to her hooves and they started to head to the group, “Well, after you puked all over the screen and passed out, the smell was getting to Spike. He’s one of those ‘If I smell puke, I’m going to puke' kind of dragons. And so he did. What none of us knew, was that when a dragon pukes, it’s hot lava! And he’s like you; a freaking rocket puker. So it melted through the floor and the walls and, well-” she snorted, “With all those books and scrolls in there, something’s bound to catch on fire, right? Well, almost the entire library went up in flames.” As they got closer to the group, Dash was speaking to the group, “And that my friends…is ‘Two Mares, One Cup’.” “You’re going to pay me back for every book that was destroyed.” Twilight said angrily. Dash arched a brow, “I feel bad for what happened in there, but c’mon, I mean, nopony saw that coming! A dragon throwing up hot lava? What since does that make?” she looked up at Spike, “Don’t you guys like, swim in that stuff?” Spike sighed, “It’s different than the magma that’s in volcanoes.” Let out a small belch, “Now can we drop it? All this talk about puke makes me wanna puke again.” “It’s ‘want to’ Spike, not ‘wanna’. I’d show you in one of the dictionaries but the FREAKING LIBRARY IS GONE!!” Twilight shot the last part of her sentence and a glare in Dash’s direction, who only smiled and slightly shrugged. The action angered Twilight even further, causing her to tackle Dash into the ground. And while the Alicorn was all-powerful when it came to magic, the same could not be said for her physical strength. Dash simply laughed and half-heartedly blocked the light punches from the princess. “STOP LAUGHING, YOU ASSHOLE!!” Twilight screamed. Dash’s laughs peaked to a higher octave. “HEY, KNOCK IT OFF!!” Pinkie screamed, causing the group to stop their actions and focus on her. She cleared her throat, “Twilight, I know you’re upset that the library is gone, but look at it this way…would you rather have all of your books okay, or all of your friends okay?” Twilight stood there for a few seconds, her hoof still digging into Dash’s arm. She sighed and got off of the Wonderbolt, “I guess my friends do come first…” “Good! Now, Dashie, why don’t you apologize for burning all of Twilight’s books?” Dash sat up, “But I didn’t-” “FUCKING APOLOGIZE!!” Dash flinched, “I’m sorry for burning up all of your books!!” Twilight smiled, “You are forgiven.” Pinkie bounced up and down, “Yay! Now we’re all friends again!! And you know what goes really good with friendship?!” Fluttershy gave a small smile, “A party?” “Well yeah, but not just that…SOME ICE CREAM!!” Another round of massive puking commenced once more. Dash laughed…and laughed…and laughed… Author's Note Ah, a tribute the legendary viral video 'Two Girls, One Cup'. A tale between two (more than likely paid) lovers that...nah, you know what? Go find the video if you want. I recommend you don't watch it if you just ate or you just have a weak stomach in general. If you are strong willed through, making bets for people to watch it all the way through it a fantastic way to make money!! Urban Dictionary: Cracks In The Fourth Wall (Pinkie, Dash, & Twilight)Twilight had been doing fine, reading her books as she sipped on her cup of coffee. Staying with Dash until her home had been repaired was actually rewarding. “Would you knock it off?!” “I’m sniping the other team!” “Get off your ass and actually run around the map!” “Snipers don’t do that!” Her performance when it came to flying had skyrocketed thanks to her daily lessons with the Wonderbolt. “Pinkie, stop camping!!” “Im not! I’m surveying the area from a particular spot!” “THAT’S FUCKING CAMPING!!!!” She had also been a great hostess. She cooked almost every meal, and she did it well. She would even go as far to say that she makes the best roasted almond and seasoned daisy flower sandwiches she had ever eaten. “Oh my Gods, get your shit together!!” “Oh, so you’re gonna blame me because you got killed? That was clearly somepony being a noob!!” “They would’ve had to get in your line of sight in order to kill me! You suck at sniping!” “You couldn’t avoid an rpg round?” there was a giggle, “Sounds like you’re the one that sucks, not me. And despite her rough and brash personality, she was a very prim and clean pony, and kept her house just that way as well. “OH MY GODS!!!” “Dashie, get it together!!” “Shut the hell up!!” She honestly couldn’t complain about much during her stay. There was only one thing that irked at her nerves, “Pinkie Pie, you’re such a fucking troll!!” And it was Dash’s gamer rage. Twilight sighed as the bickering between Dash and Pinkie raged on. She got up and trotted into the living room. She walked in on Dash having a hoof digging into Pinkie’s stomach, and Pinkie had her teeth latched onto the Pegasus’ ear. Twilight rolled her eyes, “What seems to be the problem?” “Pinks keeps camping in the game, and it’s pissing me off!” Twilight turned to Pinkie, “I meant to ask earlier, but how did you get here? We’re, you know, in the air.” Pinkie let go of Dash’s ear, “Well, duh silly!! I got up here just like you did!” Twilight arched an eyebrow, “You flew up here?” “No, the author wrote me into this scene!” “What?” Dash spoke up before Pinkie could reply to the Alicorn, “Anyway, Pinks is being a fucking camping noob! And it’s pissing me off!” Pinkie giggled, “It’s not my fault that you kept dying, Dashie.” “Pinkie, what scene are you talking about? You mean like, in a show?” Twilight questioned. Her question went unanswered as Dash lunged at Pinkie, starting up another brawl between them. Twilight’s horn lit up as she used her magic to break the two apart, “Alright you two, that’s enough. You’re acting like a couple of foals.” She plopped Dash on one side of the puffy cloud couch, and Pinkie on the other end. She stepped in front of them, “Rainbow, you really need to get that gamer rage of yours in check. Pinkie may be able to handle your anger, but can the same be said for your other friends?” Dash crossed her forelegs and let out a huff, “No…” “Okay then. So let’s apologize and let Pinkie play the game however she wants to play it. Remember, it’s just that, a game.” Dash looked over at Pinkie, “I’m sorry for getting upset with you. You got a different playing style that I just…you know, don’t like. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t like you.” Pinkie smiled, “I totally accept your apology for your rage, and your suckiness at ‘BattleField 4’. It’s not your fault, and I’m not upset at you for it.” Before Dash could retaliate, Twilight shoved a hoof over her mouth, “Thank you, Pinkie, for that well thought out and sincere apology!!” she looked back at Dash, slightly shaking her head. Dash rolled her eyes and moved Twilight’s hoof, “Yeah…thanks.” With a satisfied smile on her face, Twilight stepped away from them, “Now that that’s cleared up, I can go and look up what ‘noob’ means.” Pinkie and Dash stared at her, dumbfounded. They then looked at each other, and proceeded to burst into a fit of laughter. Twilight looked at the duo with confusion, “What’s so funny?” “Y-y-you don’t know what a ‘noob’ is?” Pinkie questioned as she wiped the tears from her eyes. “Is it some type of strange animal?” Pinkie and Dash’s laughter turned to wheezing, as they struggled to get air in their lungs. Twilight stared at them, unamusement added on to her confusion. Dash turned to her and gasped for air, “Do…do you at least know what ‘camping’ is?” The Alicorn rolled her eyes, “Of course I do! It’s when we go out into the woods, and do camping activities such as telling storied over a fire, making s’mores, and sleeping under the open sky.” During the reply, Dash and Pinkie had gotten air back into their lungs, because when she was done, their laughter exploded. She sighed and started to turn around and head back to the guest bedroom. Pinkie grabbed on to her hind leg, “Wait, wait!! I’m-” she snickered. “I’m sorry!!” she took a few deep breaths before rising to her hooves, “Okay…how about Dashie and I just show you the definition?” “I’ve never even seen that word in a book before.” Twilight replied. “Is there some new edition of the di-” “Twilight, please don’t finish that sentence.” Dash cut her off. “I can’t take anymore.” She finished it off with a giggle. “C’mon. Pinks and I know a website where you can find out what it means.” The three ponies traveled up the fluffy cloud stairs, to an even fluffier cloud room. It consisted of a few pieces of exercising equipment, a yoga mat, and a laptop sitting in black bean bag. Dash hovered over to the laptop and grabbed it. She opened it, turned on the power, and brought it over to the other two, who were comfortably laying out on the floor. “Okay, so there’s this website called ‘Urban Dictionary’, and you can look up pretty much any slang term you’ve ever heard in your life on this website.” Dash started to explain. “All you gotta do, is type the word, or words, you’re trying to find, just wait!” She slid the lap top over to Twilight, who proceeded to type in ‘noob’, “Originally an (shortened) insult to newcomers in forums or internet games e.g. counter strike, the word has been stolen and is currently being used as an insult with a different meaning. It is used in certain places to describe somepony who is slightly - ahem - slow and ditsy. Basically it is used to insult a pony who makes a stupid comment or somepony who makes many stupid comments.” Twilight read out loud, as her eyes scrolled the texts. She looked over at Dash, “This is actually pretty helpful. Thank you.” Dash smiled and grinned, “No problem, Egghead. Now please…look up the other meaning for camping before you embarrass yourself again…” Twilight sighed and typed in ‘camping’. “A term used most frequently in first-pony shooter video games, ‘camping’ refers to the act of hiding or otherwise remaining in a hidden, obscured, or safe location in order to ambush an enemy or objective, or to avoid harm. There is much controversy over whether or not camping is a respectable strategy; some claim camping is cowardly and cheap, while others maintain that it is intelligent and strategic.” Twilight turned to Pinkie, “So…you were cheating.” Pinkie shook her head, “No I wasn’t. You just read the definition for yourself!” “Nah, you were totally cheating.” Dash stated in a flat tone. Pinkie growled and shoved the Pegasus, who in turn, shoved right back. Twilight swiped up the laptop and proceeded to move, as she knew the brawl between the two was about to begin. She ignored the sounds of punches and shouting, she began to type in more words that she had heard before, but didn’t quite understand. “Ooh…that’s what that meant?” she questioned as she looked over definition after definition of words. Hmm…that is really strange they’d use that word in such a way…” The search continued on. So long in fact, that Pinkie and Dash had stopped fighting, and were taking turns playing ‘Destiny’. “You think Twilight fell asleep up there or something?” Dash questioned as she pounded a couple of the controller’s buttons, “Fuck! I died…” Pinkie snatched the controller away from her, “No, she’s probably still on the laptop looking up EVERYTHING she’s EVER heard. You know that she doesn’t speak much slang.” “WAZZUP MOTHAFUCKAS?! T-Y Sparklez in the hizzouse!!!” Dash and Pinkie craned their heads around, and looked up at Twilight. “Where’d you get that bandana from?” Pinkie squinted and leaned forward, “Is that…is that a grill in your mouth?” Twilight let out a hearty laugh, “Hell yeah!! I got the freshest, best karats I could get! And these rocks are so icy, that the Crystal Empire ain’t got shit on me!!” Dash snickered, “Twilight-” “T-Y!!” A snort escaped from her nose, “Okay…T-Y…what’s that’s on your foreleg?” Twilight snorted and grinned, “It’s my sick ink, dumbass. It says ‘Thug Life’.” “I have a tattoo too!!” Pinkie screamed with glee, as she defied physics once again and rolled up the coat on her right foreleg like a sleeve. She showed her pearly whites, as Twilight and Dash looked at the ink, “’Hug Life’?” they both questioned in unison, as Pinkie practically trembled with joy, “Yeah!!” “Pffft, you ain’t no bad ass like me!” Twilight declared. “T-Y would wipe the floor with yo’ asses like a fucking mop!!” Dash’s brow furrowed, “Well Rainbow Dash would school you like a teacher!” Pinkie clacked her hooves together, “Yay, third-pony speech!! Pinkie Pie loves Twilight and Dashie!!” “You don’t wanna scrap with me son! I got 99 problems, and bitch, you ain’t one!!” Steam spouted from Dash’s nostrils, “What the fuck?! Did you really just go there?!” “Pinkie Pie doesn’t want Twilight and Dashie to fight!!” Pinkie screamed out. “Twilight and Dashie are friends!!” “My name is T-Y. It’s not that hard to say!! What are you, retarded?!” “This has gotten out of hoof, Twilight!” Dash shouted, “Cut the shit!!” “I don’t have to do a damn thing you say, you punk ass bitch!!” Dash’s magenta eye twitched, “What…did…you…just…call…me?” Twilight gave her an arrogant smirk, “I said…you’re a punk ass bitch!!” “NOPONY CALLS ME A PUNK ASS BITCH!!” “I just did! And I’ll call you anything I want to!" Pinkie’s body trembled. Something bad was about to happen. “Like how you’re a bitch ass nig-” Pinkie jammed her hoof into Twilight’s mouth. “Don’t say that word!! We’re not supposed to!” Pinkie frantically looked around her, “She’ll be mad if you say it...” Twilight chomped down on Pinkie’s hoof, causing the pony to pull it out, “I’ll say whatever the fuck I wanna say!! Now, I learned if off of Urban Dictionary, and I’m gonna use it!!” Dash put a hoof to her lips, “My Gods…we’ve created a monster…” “You…are…a” Dash made a cross over her chest, “…bitch…ass….” Pinkie shook her head as Twilight inhaled, “Twilight, NO!!!” “NIIIIIIIGGGGG-" *** “AAAAAHHHH!!!!” Twilight jumped up with a start, heart pounded and sweat on her brow. She looked around at her surroundings. Pinkie and Dash were honed in on the TV, playing on the Playstation. “Pinkie…” “Yup?” “What happened?” Pinkie paused the game, “What are you talking about?” “How did I end up on the couch?” Dash chuckled, “Okay so get this; you were on Urban Dictionary, right? And you told us about how you heard about ‘Donkey Punch’, and that you wanted to know what it was.” “We tried to tell you not to bother with that, but you didn’t listen!!” Pinkie continued for the Pegasus. “So you looked it up, and ‘BAM’, the information overloaded your brain and you passed out on the floor!” Twilight rubbed her chin, “So I guess it was just a dream…” Dash arched a brow, “What was just a dream?” “Well, there was some word I was going to use, but Pinkie stopped me, and told me that ‘She’d be mad’ if I said it. I don’t even know who ‘She’ is.” The pink and cyan ponies leaned in. Dash leaned even closer, “So what was the word?” “It was ‘nig’-” Pinkie smashed her hoof to Twilight’s mouth, shaking her head vigorously, “Oh no no no. I know what you’re going to say. You can’t say that word, it’s not ‘Okie Dokie Lokie’!” Twilight removed the offending hoof from her mouth, “Why not though?” With a smile, the pink pony replied, “Because the writers will be upset!!” Steam spouted from Twilight’s ears, “WHO ARE THE WRITERS?!” “The ones who write what we say!!” “WHAT?!?!?!” Author's Note Man, it's been a little while since I've added a chapter. Caught up on a couple other stories, but I'm really excited to get back into this one!! Yes, the definitions used in this story are the actual definitions given by Urban Dictionary. I just made a slight change to do the use of...ponies...in this story. I DON'T OWN URBAN DICTIONARY NOR ANYTHING THEY SAY OR TYPE OR WHAT THE HELL EVER!! Copyright Infringement averted. :) Chatroulette: Sometimes, You're Just Asking For It (Vinyl Scratch & Fluttershy)Everypony knew that Rainbow Dash was Fluttershy's best friend. They were practically sisters, seeing as how they grew up together. What everypony didn't know though, was that Vinyl Scratch was pretty close to the animal caretaker as well. Ever since Fluttershy took those assertiveness classes from Iron Will, she's had a thirst for it, and for some confidence as well. Unfortunately, it was also because of those same classes, that she was afraid to actually put her hoof forward and go through with it. She didn't want anypony to fear her, just respect her. And so, after getting to know Vinyl, she decided that she'd be the one she'd ask for help. The Unicorn had a way about her that made her outgoing and confident, without being completely narcissistic. "Alright 'Shy, I've got a fresh, new lesson for ya today." Vinyl announced. She trotted over to her computer and turned it on. "Today, we're going to work on you talking to other ponies, face-to-face." Fluttershy's ear folded against her head, "Oh dear....we only did 'Introductions' last week. Don't you think that...that's a bit of a leap?" Vinyl chuckled, "Well, I'm not going to throw you out in the middle of town square and make you talk to anypony." she pulled up two chairs with her magic, "You're going to talk to ponies face-to-face, but on the Internet!" Fluttershy tilted her head in confusion as she walked over to join Vinyl, "How are we going to do that?" "Ever heard of a website called 'Chatroulette'?" Fluttershy shook her head. "Basically, it's just a site that allows you to talk to ponies all over the world, via your internet, a mic, and a webcam." "So...how does this help?" "Because the thing is, you'll never know who you'll meet on here. The site randomly selects somepony, and connects you to them. It'll keep doing that too, everytime you click 'Next'. That way, you could technically say whatever you want to them!" the small smile she had on her face disappeared, "Remember though, just like you can say anything to them, they can say anything to you. I think it's a good way to get you started." Fluttershy smiled, "Thank you, Vinyl. You're such a good friend for helping me out with this." "No problem. It's what friends do. I'm going to get you out of your shell, if it's the last thing I do!" The computer finished whirring to life, and Vinyl typed in the site's URL. Within moments, the Chatroulette site appeared. Fluttershy got a worried look on her face, "Why are there all these warnings? Is something bad going to happen on this site?" Vinyl shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. That's just how the world works." she leaned forward and clicked the 'start' button. Their camera showed them in the little box, and Fluttershy cringed, “Oh…my…I look terrible.” Vinyl rolled her eyes, “’Shy, you look fine. Don’t even worry about that.” They didn’t wait much longer before a white Earth Pony mare appeared on the creen. She gave them a friendly smile as she brushed a strand of her black mane from her face. Vinyl returned the smile as she started to speak. “Hi there! The name’s Vinyl Scratch, and this is…” Vinyl lightly elbowed Fluttershy, who had already averted eye contact with the mare on the other side of the screen. Crimson flushed through her face as she looked back up, “I’m…Fluttershy…” The mare smiled, “My name’s Checkered Past, but everypony just calls me ‘Checkers’. Would you like to be friends?” A small smile appeared on Fluttershy’s face, “Um…sure…” “Cool! So…tell me a little bit about yourself.” Checkers asked. Fluttershy rubbed the back of her head, “Well….I’m an animal caretaker, and Vinyl here, she’s a DJ-” “Oh no, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean things like that about you.” Her friendly smile suddenly turned to one of creepiness, “I want your height, weight, blood type, home address, a cellphone number-” Fluttershy put a hoof to her lips in shock as Vinyl slammed her hoof onto the ‘Next’ button. The Unicorn looked over at her shy friend, “Okay then…like I said before, this thing can connect us to anypony…that also meant the weird ones like her. So, let’s try this again.” They waited a bit before another pony appeared on the screen. Another Earth Pony, but this time, a stallion. He appeared to be a bit older than them, looking like he was in the age range of early to mid-30s. “Hello there, my name is Stone Dust. Do you have a moment to talk about our Lady and Savior, Princess Celestia?” Before Fluttershy could politely decline, Vinyl hit ‘Next’. She turned and gave her an upset look, “Why did you do that, Vinyl?! That’s so rude!” “Please, you could tell he was a Jehoofvah’s Witness. He’s probably used to being cut off.” The screen displayed yet another pony. However, they were wearing a ghoul mask that would normally be worn on Nightmare Night. Fluttershy shrunk behind Vinyl as the pony stared at them and breathed heavily. Vinyl arched a brow, “Uh…dude, you know Nightmare Night’s not for like, another five months, right?” The only response was the steady, heavy breathing. Vinyl rubbed her head, “Okay…so…what’s your name?” Breathing. “Where do you live?” Breathing. “You got any hobbies?” Fluttershy leaned into her ear, “Why do you keep trying to talk to them? It doesn’t look like it’s working…” Suddenly, the pony leaned closer, until their amber colored iris and pupil took up the screen. The breathing got absurdly loud, as they finally decided to speak, “I’m your biggest fan…Fluttershy…” Vinyl guffawed while Fluttershy slammed the ‘Next’ button as quickly as she could. She looked up angrily at her friend, “It’s not funny! That was weird!!” “You think he’s a fan of your modeling work?” Vinyl asked between giggles. Fluttershy rubbed her temples, “I knew back then that I shouldn’t have let Rarity drag me into that…” Before the two had time to recover, somepony else was on the screen. It was male zebra that was seated beside a female griffin with light blue feathers. The griffin screeched out, “OMIGOSH IT’S DJ PON-3 AND THE MODEL FLUTTERSHY!! I’M YOUR BIGGEST FAN!!!” Before Vinyl could reply, Fluttershy smacked the ‘Next’ button again. “Fluttershy, what the hell was that for?!” Vinyl questioned angrily, “You can’t just shut down a fan like that!” Fluttershy tilted her head in confusion, “How was she any different than the one we talked to before?” “Uh, because she’s a chick? They always act crazy about idols they like! She liked you because you’re hot-,” “Um...t-thank y-” “And she liked me because I’m a famous DJ! Stuff like shooting down a fan before they even get to speak affects my publicity, dude. Not cool.” Fluttershy arched a brow, “I thought you didn’t normally care what anypony thought about you?” “I still have bills to pay. I mean, Tavi makes plenty of money with her concerts, but let’s face it, EVERYPONY LIKES DUBSTEP MORE THAN CLASSICAL MUSIC!!!” “Shut up, Vinyl!!” Octavia screamed from the living room. “If it isn’t the caretaker and the DJ! Strange that I’d bump into you two this way!” Vinyl and Fluttershy turned to see Zecora on the screen. Vinyl arched a brow, “I didn’t know Witch Doctors had computers.” Zecora chuckled, “Even in my home, there’s a bit of technology. I search the web to help with my alchemy.” “Then why are you on this site?” “Apparently I’m not that approachable, so only on the web am I allowed to be sociable.” “Well, I’m glad to see a familiar face on here!” Fluttershy exclaimed. “And it’s for that reason we’ll have to catch you later, Witch Doctor!!” Vinyl stated before before clicking ‘Next’. “Why’d did we stop talking to her? I can actually hold a conversation very well with her!” “It’s like I said, you know her. That’s why you can talk to her so easily. The goal is to have you be able to talk to anypony, so we can’t sit here and chit chat with ponies…or zebras that we know. Save that for the strangers.” The screen popped up with two young Pegasi colts and a Zebra colt. They all had goofy looks on their faces. “SHOW US YOUR TITS!!” Vinyl rolled her eyes and grumbled as she clicked ‘Next’, “Immature little fuck wads…” What popped up next made Fluttershy and Vinyl’s eyes go wide. Their mouths dropped as sloppy, wet sounds and labored breathing rang into their ears. Octavia rounded the corner into the room, “Vinyl, have you seen my-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Vinyl spun around while Fluttershy continued to stare on in horror, “Babe, it’s not what you think!-” “I already told you not to watch porn on MY computer! If you want to watch that garbage, then use your own damn laptop and risk getting viruses on it, not my stuff!!” “Yes ma’am, but-” “NOW!!!!!” Vinyl spun back around and shut Chatroulette down. Octavia let out a snort before trotting out of the room, grumbling as she did so. She quickly popped her head back through the door frame, “And ‘clopping’? Really? You chose that? I can understand if you’d watch mares having sex, but you chose to watch some idiot jerk his meat off! What, am I not good enough to keep you satisfied?” The blush on Fluttershy’s cheeks now spread to her whole face as Vinyl rolled her eyes, “Octavia, please, can we not discuss this in front of our guest?” The cellist let out a huff, “Fine, but we’re definitely going to have this talk.” She shut the door behind her as Fluttershy moved both of her hooves to cover her mouth. Vinyl looked over at her, “Alright…maybe we should’ve just taken you out into town. It probably would’ve ended better than this.” When she got no response from the Pegasus, she waved a hoof in front of her face, “Uh…Shy? You alright??” “You…you didn’t you see it?” “See what?” “His…cutie mark…” “Uh…so? What of it?” “Um…well…" Fluttershy's face was flustered and hot enough to cook a meal on, "T-that was...Big Mac's cutie mark..." Slender Man(e): When You Feel Like Scaring Yourself. (Rarity, Sweetie Belle, & Scootaloo)“So….all I have to do, is find eight pages?” Rarity questioned, as she looked back and forth between her younger sister, and her Pegasus friend. “Yup! That’s it!!” Sweetie replied, mischief laced into her smile. Rarity arched a perfectly tweezed brow, but said nothing. The two Cutie Mark Crusaders had matured considerably in the past few years, but that didn’t mean that all of their mischievous behavior had died down. The smiles that Scootaloo and Sweetie were giving her, were proof of that. Scootaloo and Sweetie had grown pretty close, especially since Apple Bloom had decided to go and train under the tutelage of Zecora. In fact, Rarity had gotten used to setting three plates at the dinner table instead of two. She was beginning to see Scootaloo as a sister to her, and had no problem having the Pegasus over when she wasn’t at Rainbow’s house. However, that snarky grin on their faces was making her regret taking that young mare in. “So…are you gonna start the game or what?” Scootaloo asked, her grin not faltering in the slightest. Rarity let out a defeated sigh. It’s not that she didn’t like playing games with them. She had in fact, grown to love them, thanks to Scootaloo actually teaching her how to play, depending on what they were playing. But the fact that the two younger mares hadn’t stopped smiling, and Scootaloo didn’t give her too many details about this game, made her a bit uneasy. But, the game seemed simple enough; Find eight pieces of paper, and don’t die. How those two intermingled in this game, she didn’t know. But she was going to soon find out. She clicked start, and the screen lit up to a first-pony scene of what looked like a forest. As least, that was what she could tell from it’s simplistic graphics. She looked in a few directions, taking note that it appeared that she was using a flash light in the game to see. The sound of chirping crickets echoed into her screen. She took a couple practice steps forward, to make sure she had a good understanding of the controls. Once she did, she started to complete her task. For almost ten minutes, there was nothing but the sound of crunching leaves and chirping crickets. The scenery hadn’t changed much either. No matter what direction she headed off to, there seemed to be nothing but low graphic grass and trees. “Well…this is fun.” She stated sarcastically. “Just keep playing.” Scootaloo urged her on. She continued on, aimlessly wandering the map. Luckily, it wasn’t too long before she came upon a brick building, with a door-less opening leading inside. “Finally! A change of scenery.” Rarity pointed out, as she walked inside of the building. “Oh my…whoever decorated this place really didn’t know what they were doing.” She pointed out as she wandered through the rooms. “I really hope that this used to be a showering facility or something, because the tiles that were used are simply dreadful. Too plain, too simple. They give the color ‘white’ a bad name. And why is the only furniture in this room a chair? Don’t you two find that a bit odd? It looks totally out of place in-“ she let out a gasp, as her flashlight shined on a lone, sheet of worn paper, stuck on the wall. “WA-HA-HAAA!!!” She quickly grabbed the paper, “This is going to be easy!-” She stopped, noticing that something about the game had changed. The digital world was no longer silent. A steady, creepy drum, began to beat in the background. “Why did-what’s going on?” Rarity questioned. “Where did that drum come from?” Scootaloo let out a tiny giggle. Sweetie snickered and shifted her gaze to her older sister, “Rarity, you might want to get out of there.” Rarity immediately obeyed her sister. It was a good thing she had paid attention to the minute details in the building as she was criticizing it. It made it easy for her to find her way out. She got back into the blackness of the forest. The drum was still beating, steady and strong, welcoming whatever was to come. She searched for the next sheet to find. Her flashlight was steadied on a dirt path. There was suddenly a sharp sound, and the first-pony camera turned on it’s own to the left. Rarity’s eyes went wide as the camera honed in on a unnaturally tall pony, standing on it’s slender, lanky, hind legs. It’s abnormally long forelegs hung lazily to it’s sides. It was wearing a black business suit, with a white undershirt and a black tie. It’s coat was a paler shade of white than Rarity or Sweetie’s fur. Tentacles writhed and thrashed about from it’s back, but the thing that disturbed Rarity most of all, was the fact that it’s face was expressionless. And by expressionless, it had no face period. Rarity let out a sharp, quick shriek, as the image started to fizzle out, and static poured from the speakers. “What do I do?!” “Get away from him!!” Scootaloo answered through her laughter. Rarity turned the character away from him, and moved off into a direction as quickly as she could. The image started to clear up, and the static faded away. Rarity kept moving forward, her heart pounding in her chest. She looked over at the laughing mares with shock in her eyes, “What the hell was that thing?!” The fashionista quickly grew flustered, as neither was able to control their laughter long enough to form an answer. She let out an angry huff, “Well fine!!” she stared at the screen with newly found determination. “I don’t need you two anyway!!” She pressed on, wandering through the forest to find the other pages. She scooped up one more. Five minutes later, she grabbed another. Scootaloo and Sweetie had amused smiles on their faces. They had to admit, Rarity was doing pretty good. They figured she would've dismissed the game and stopped playing before she had another heart attack. Another loud noise burst through the speakers. The camera turned on that vile creature. Rarity let out another surprised scream. “NononononoOHNO!!!” It didn’t take her more than once to get the drill. The character conducted a fantastically quick 180, and once again, got the hell away from that thing. She threw a quick glance to her giggling sister, “Are either one of you going to tell me what that thing is, now?!” “That’s Slender Mane! He’s trying to kill you!!” Scootaloo replied. “Well, thank you for pointing out the obvious!” Rarity spat back, getting more irritated as the young orange mare fell into a fit of giggles. “He doesn’t want you to get all eight pages, because then you’d know about him, and will have the opportunity to get away from him.” Sweetie gave a more detailed answer. “So it’s really simple, sis! Don’t get killed by Slender Mane!!” As Sweetie was explaining what was going on, Rarity had found the fourth page, “Oh my Gods, I’m going to beat this!!” Rarity squealed out. She slightly bit down on her lower lip, as her determination reached new peaks. Slender Mane popped up again and again, getting ever closer to her character. And granted, monster still made her jump every single time he appeared, but she carried on. After almost a half hour of wandering, six pages found, and about 20 jump scares later, she was walking towards the seventh page. “Why in the wide world of Equis, is the damn character moving so slow?!” Rarity stated with exasperation. “You figured with a towering monster following you around, you’d be galloping to get away from it! And another thing! What sane pony wanders around a forest in the middle of the night by themselves?! And why would you be looking for scraps of paper?! Go find materials to make a shelter, a fire, ANYTHING that could be productive to your survival!” Scootaloo and Sweetie giggled as they listened to Rarity’s rant. The mare no longer seemed to be scared, but more irritated by the lack of common sense on the character’s part. And it wasn’t until she walked up on the stand-alone, massive tree, that she realized she had already been there. She let out a groan of frustration. “Ugh…this is getting stupid. I found the other pages, why is it so hard to find this one?” Scootaloo shrugged. “I dunno, but I know you can do it. Sweets and I never even got this far into the game…” “Oh well…I have no choice but to conduct another walkthrough. A much, much more thorough one.” She started to turn. But the drums seemed to beat louder this time. All three mares slightly leaned towards the screen, ears perked and eyes wide. “What…what was that?” Sweetie asked softly, as if they ABSOLUTELY needed to hear the gameplay. The sound of the inevitable jump scare roared through the speakers. The camera whirled around. Slender Mane was towering over the character. The static reached a near deafening pitch, and a scream could be faintly heard in the mix of it all, as the camera zoomed in on his faceless head. The screen then went to static, and finally black. There was a few moments of deathly quiet, before the game’s start screen reappeared. The mouse however, did not move, as Rarity was too busy clinging onto Scootaloo in fear. Scootaloo helplessly flapped a wing, attempting to remove herself from Rarity’s grasp. “Rares…let go!” Rarity realized what she was doing, and shoved Scootaloo away from her before crossing her forelegs, “That game was absolutely dreadful!” Sweetie smile, her evil grin returning full force, “But…you were scared…” Rarity childishly stuck her tongue out, earning giggles from the other two ponies. Her angry façade melted as she joined in on the giggling. “Fair enough, the game was simple yet hard at the same time, and had a pretty good scare tactic for it. I liked it.” she rubbed her eyes with a hoof and glanced over at a clock on the wall, “Wow, it’s incredibly late…we should be turning in for the night.” The mare rose to her hooves and started to make her way towards the stairs. Scootaloo groaned, “I don’t really want to…” Rarity glanced over her shoulder, “You’re quite old enough to make your own decisions. You can stay up for however long you like. But, don’t complain to me in the morning when you either oversleep, and miss breakfast, or miss your courses at the Wonderbolts Academy.” Scootaloo let out a tiny sigh. Rarity was right, she needed to be able to get tomorrow’s lessons if she wanted to pass her upcoming test. She rose up and stretched, muscles slightly tingling after not moving for so long. She started to walk towards Rarity, with Sweetie in tow. A gasp came from the mare behind her, earning her attention, and Rarity’s. “What is it, darling?” Rarity quipped. Sweetie’s lip quivered, as she raised a shaky hoof and pointed a window to her right. Rarity and Scootaloo followed it. Outside, the silhouette of a tall pony, with eerily long limbs stared at them from outside. The mares shrieked and made a mad dash for the stairs, all galloping into Rarity’s room and slamming the door behind them. -MLP- “And it was the freakiest thing we’d ever seen!!” Scootaloo shouted as she flailed her hooves wildly in the air. Fluttershy had listened intently to the younger Pegasus’ story. The orange mare had come over to pick up Tank for Dash, but when Fluttershy saw the panicky look on her face, she couldn’t help but show concern for the mare. “Are you sure it wasn’t a tree?” Fluttershy softly asked. “Yes…I’m sure it wasn’t a tree.” The animal caretaker tapped her chin thoughtfully. Suddenly, a stern look crossed her face. She looked over her shoulder and up the staircase, “DISCORD!!!” It only took a few seconds for the draconequus to appear beside her. He had a friendly smile on his face as he got eye level with her, “Yes, my dearest friend, Fluttershy?” “What did you do yesterday?” Discord tapped his chin, “Well…after causing a bit of friendly chaos for April Foal’s day, I headed to the Carousel Boutique to pick up the sweater you requested for Devil Rabbit-” “You mean ‘Angel Bunny’.” Fluttershy interrupted. “Right, that’s what I meant.” Discord replied with a bit of sarcasm before continuing. “But it was locked.” “Why didn’t you just...I dunno, ‘poof’ in?” Scootaloo questioned. “You are the master of chaos and a deity.” “Because our favorite little caretaker here, told me that it’s rude to enter ponies’ homes without permission." He replied curtly. “Anyway…I decided to go up to one of the windows, and noticed you, Rarity all enjoying a friendly game of ‘Slender Mane’! And, I’m sorry, but I simply could not refrain myself from scaring you three. So I threw a teeny, tiny little rock at the window, and transformed before Sweetie fully turned to look outside. So…well,” he shrugged his shoulders and grinned, “Well, everything that followed just happened!” Fluttershy shook her head disapprovingly, “Discord…that wasn’t very nice, you know…” “Yeah! It’s enough that you had to scare us, but did you have to stand there for so long after we got into Rarity’s room?! That was just taking it too far!!” Discord’s grin immediately disappeared, and his brow arched in confusion, “I’m sorry, what?” Scootaloo mirrored him, her voice now laced with confusion, “The…when…when we all made it to Rarity’s room, she peeked outside, and Slender Mane was standing just barely outside of the street light’s reach, looking up at our window. We took turns watching him, and it lasted for like, and hour and a half…” her sentence died out as she stopped. Discord shook his head and crossed his mix-matched arms, “Now, I may be a King of Chaos, but I’m reformed! I’m not lying when I say I didn’t do that, and I’m not going to take the blame for something I didn’t do.” A tiny smirk fell onto his lips, “Although, that would’ve been a great idea. Why didn’t I think of that?” Scootaloo’s face went from confusion to utter fear. A deep, sickening feeling hit sat in her chest, “If it wasn’t you…then…who, or what was it?!” Gizoogle: My Little Gangsta; Thugness is Magic (Mane 6 & Discord)Author's Note If you don't know what Gizoogle is, I'm just gonna say this; There is ALOT of cursing in this. I mean, oh my god, so much cursing. If you can't handle cursing, or purposely placed improper grammar, then ~~you've come to the wrong neighborhood motherfucker~~ this chapter is not for you. I'm serious. I mean, I ran most of the dialogue through the website, and this is what it gave me back. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. Gizoogle: My Little Gangsta; Thugness is Magic (Mane 6 & Discord) “Please?” “Nuh-uh” “B-but…why not?” “Ah don’t want nothin’ tah do with yer freaky lil’ experiments, Twi. They’re always weird.” “As much as I am for the ‘chic’ and ‘magnifique’, I must admit that Applejack’s twang and country euphemisms are a delightful treat.” Rarity stated. Twilight let out a sigh and flopped out onto the floor, “But, Applejack, you’re the only one that this would be the most effective on…” “Why? Ah’m not the only one with an accent. Rarity’s got a perfectly good Manehattan accent fer ya tah mess with.” Dash, who had stayed out of it up until this point, decided to take a crack at the farm pony, “Applejack, you don’t have an accent, you have a speech impediment.” Applejack let out a dry chuckle, before landing a well-aimed punch at the Pegasus ribcage. A smile spread on Dashie’s face as she fell to the floor, “Worth it…” “So what is the experiment, if you don’t mind me asking…” Fluttershy quipped, as she helped a slightly wheezing Rainbow Dash to her hooves. Twilight hopped up to her hooves, “Oh, it’s quite simple! The device created has been designed to alter the vibrations our vocal chords produce. You see, within each language, the vibrations variate based upon the pitch and tone of the word being said. With this device, I will change the way you sound, and the voice of whoever you’re talking to, so that both of you will be speaking the same language.” Applejack crossed her forelegs, “So, why does it have tah be me?” Twilight shot her a friendly smile, “Because you are the most applicable candidate for this experiment.” “Okay, but why? There are five other ponies here with workin’ voice boxes.” “True…but, they don’t function properly.” Twilight replied. “Rainbow’s vocal chords are badly damaged beyond repair. It’s evidenced by the cracking and raspiness of her voice when she talks.” “Oh, is that what that is?” Applejack smirked. “Ah just thought Dash was finishin’ puberty an’ finally becomin’ a big, strong stallion.” Dash leered at Applejack, before grabbing a nearby book and chucking it at her. The corner smacked her snout with a hard thud, and through the few tears that welled up, she smiled. “What, yer colt hormones all outta whack?” “Anyways,” Twilight continued loudly. “Rarity’s vocal chords are damaged from her…squeals and screams of the ‘drama and excitement’ she goes through on a daily basis. Although, they aren’t as bad as Rainbow’s.” she looked over at Fluttershy, “Fluttershy’s vocal chords are a bit smaller, and somewhat delicate due to her continuously maintaining a soft voice. She could yell and scream, we’ve all seen that, but it puts a terrible strain on her vocal chords. Any volume that’s louder than how she normally sounds could cause serious damage. Depending on the language, we don’t know how much strain we’ll cause. ” Her gaze turned to Pinkie, and her expression turned into a hesitant one. The others looked over at Pinkie, who gave them all a beaming smile, “Pinkie…uh, tends to ignore the laws of physics. More than likely, the results from her won’t be accurate.” “So then…” Applejack rubbed her chin, “The only other pony ya can experiment on here, is-” “Myself.” Twilight finished. “Yes, you and I will be conducting the experiment.” She reached over pushed a few buttons on the massive control panel, “Now, the machine is starting to power up. Once it’s fully charged, it will switch to voice control.” “But…if you’re using a completely different language, how’s the machine gonna understand you?” Dash questioned. “Everypony’s voice has a set vocal baseline, that is distinct from one another.” Twilight replied. “My baseline is already registered in the system, so it’ll recognize my voice no matter what language I’m speaking.” She started to trot away from it, “Follow me. The testing platform is right over here.” The group followed Twilight and Applejack to a small platform, that had a slender, silver spires at each corner. As they started to step onto it, a certain being of chaos slithered into their plane of existence, “Well hello my lovely little ponies!” Discord greeted as he hovered over to Twilight and Applejack, “What sort of splendid situation are you getting yourself into today?” “Nothin’, now go away.” Applejack stated as she made a shooing motion with her hooves. Discord ignored her and hovered over to the machine that was connected to the platform. “Ooh, what do we have here? Is this a multilingual vocal baseline translator?” Twilight’s jaw slacked, “What? Wait, how do you kno-” “Oh wow, it has a dual water cooling system! And a uranium power cell!” he glanced over at Twilight and gave her a crooked smile, “My my, how ever did you managed to get your hooves on one of these? I only recollect that they’re sold at the black mar-” “Shut up, Discord!” Twilight snapped. “It’s none of your business! And how do you know any of this stuff anyway?” “Yeah, Twilight’s got a point. You don’t really come off as the ‘egghead’ type.” Dash added. “I’ve been around for eons my dears. As much as I like to spend my time spreading chaos, I felt the need to…diverse my expertise.” He chuckled, “Actually, I just wanted to learn how science explained things and how they worked, before I completely messed it up.” He looked back at the machine’s screen, “Ah! You have wi-fi! Excellent! Have you ever heard of a website called ‘Gizoogle’? It’s a site that works as a translator as well, though it only translates into ‘slang’.” “You mean ‘zebronics’?” Rarity questioned. Dash shot her a look, “Wow, no, you tribalist.” “I-I’m not a tribalist!” Twilight tilted her head, “Rarity, it’s 2016…what’s wrong with you?” “I’m telling you, I’m not a tribalist!” Twilight realized Discord was suddenly being too quiet and looked over her shoulder. Her eyes went wide, “Discord, don’t push that button!!” She teleported to the other side of the room, tackling the draconequus. They both crashed into the machine, slamming into various levers and buttons on it. It sparked and crackled with arcing bolts of electricity, before pulsing off waves of language altering radiation. They all hit the walls of the lab, knocking over books and beakers. A deep hum thrummed through all of them, before fading into silence. They let out groans of pain and discomfort, before rising to their hooves. “Ugh…is everpony aiiiight?” Twilight asked, before slapping a hoof over her mouth. The others looked at her, eyes wide with surprise. “What’s wack wit yo’ voice?” Rarity questioned, before mirroring Twilight’s actions. Dash belted out a laugh, “Yo ass sounds shitty!” “We all sound like thugs!” Pinkie squealed, before happily clacking her hooves together. She bounced around the room, and accidentally stepped on Discord’s reptilian foot. It let out a yelp and leered down at the Earth Pony, “Yo, be mo’ mindful of yo’ surroundings!” he shouted, before clamping his mouth shut. Twilight trotted over to the machine, “My fuckin’ machine…it’s straight-up busted.” she looked up at him, “This be all yo’ fault!!” Discord put his taloned hand to his chest, “My fuckin’ fault? Yo ass have me mistaken, Princess. This was our fault.” He looked over at the machine, “If you had just let me do what the fuck I wanted ta do, tha effectz of it could have easily been reversed. Ya’ll KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Now, we’re all stuck soundin’ like this!” They stared each other down for a few seconds, before Discord broke out into a fit of giggles. “Oh, whoz ass I kiddin’, biatch? We not all stuck like this, ya’ll.” Applejack’s eyes lit up, “Therez a way ta fix this?” “Oh shiiiiiiiit, not dat I know of fo realz. All I holla’d, is dat we aren’t stuck like dis ya’ll.” He curled his paw into a fist and gave his chest a few thumps, coughing and sputtering a few times. “There we go!” he grinned at them, “All better. Now, I’ll leave your girls to your little ‘friendship’ problem.” “Friendshizzle problem?!” Twilight screamed. “This thang ain’t a problem! This is science gone awry!” “Messed up science, friendship problem, it’s all the same thing to me.” Discord gave them a quick wave, “Too-da-loo!!” With an audible poof, he vanished, leaving behind six mares who were in varying degrees of anger and confusion. Rarity rubbed her temples, “So…what tha fuck happens now?” Twilight sighed as she dragged a hoof over the broken control panel, “I be bout ta git started on fixin’ dis thang. Unfortunately, I don’t know how tha fuck long it’s goin ta take me ta finish dat shit.” “I be goin’ ta git up in contact wit Discord.” Fluttershy declared. “I be bout ta make shizzle dat schmoooove muthafucka helps you git our asses outta dis mess.” “I straight-up appreciate dat shit.” Twilight replied in a tired tone. “Go rap ta Spike yo. Dude can write tha letta n' bust it directly ta Discord.” “Discordz gots a phone. Just call his muthafuckin' ass.” Applejack stated. Twilight looked at her in disbelief, “Is you crazy, biatch? Do you know how tha fuck much minutes cost when you tryin ta booty-call somepony up in another county, much less another dimension, biatch? Even if I wanted ta spend dat kind of bits, My fuckin' company ain't dat pimped out.” she looked around at the others, “For tha rest of ya’ll hoes… just bounce back ta tha doggy den. Whenever she gets his cooperation, I’ll notify ya’ll.” The others nodded and mumbles of agreement before heading home. “Well…I can’t just sit locked up in mah room.” Applejack grumbled. “I’ve gots work ta do on the farm.” “I believe we all have work ta do yo, but Twilight specifically holla'd we should bounce back ta tha doggy den.” Rarity replied. “C’mon we’ve dealt wit’ worse than this!” Pinkie chirped. “I’ve gots baked loot ta push n' joy ta spread, n' I’m not goin ta let dis stop me!” she bounced away back to Sugarcube Corner. “Pinks is right, we can’t let dis just end our everyday tasks. We’ve gots shiznit ta do.” Dash’s wing snapped open. “I’ll peep you hoes later n' shit. There’s a Wonderbolts meetin' dat I’ve gots ta git to. Peace!” With that, she kicked off the ground and shot into the sky, leaving a prismatic trail behind her. Applejack shrugged and wordlessly headed down the street, leaving Rarity alone. “I just don’t peep dis endin’ well…” Rarity muttered to herself, before slowly heading back to the Carousel Boutique. -MLP- The door to Sugarcube Corner opened with the chime of the bell above it. Pinkie looked around to see that for now, the store was near empty, save for Octavia and Vinyl, who were enjoying a couple slices of cake. Vinyl looked up and gave her a wave. Pinkie smiled, “Yo Vinyl and Octy, how tha fuck is yo slick ass?” Pinkie slapped a hoof over her mouth. Octavia’s jaw went slack, while Vinyl had a huge smile morph onto her face. “Alright, they finally stopped making this place so focused on the kiddies!” she exclaimed. “Does this mean you guys might start opening up to let DJs play?” Pinkie shook her head, “Fuck that shit. Da Cakes wanna keep dis a funky-ass bakery, not a cold-ass lil’ club.” “Pinkie Pie!” Cupcake screamed as she rounded the corner. “You know better than to bring that filthy language into my bakery!” “Mrs. Cake, I can’t help what tha fuck comes outta mah grill right now! Twiligh-” “That’s enough out of you!” she looked over to the mares at the table, “I’m terribly sorry about that, ladies. I’ll see to it that it won’t happen again.” “Please do.” Octavia replied. “If I wanted to go an establishment like that, I would simply go see Vinyl when she’s working.” Vinyl threw her hooves up in defense, “Whoa there, why don’t you pull those punches a little bit. Mad harsh….geez.” she looked over at Cupcake, “Anyway, just don’t fire her or something…” “Of course not. She’s one of the best bakers I’ve ever had working for me.” She sized Pinkie up, “Come with me. I’ve got something for you to do as punishment.” Pinkie’s ear drooped and her gaze dropped to the ground. She trudged behind Cupcake as the older mare led her through the back door. She looked around, “What is our phat asses bustin’ up in here?” Cupcake shook her head, “Even now, you can’t seem to reign in that cursing.” She reached into the small shed next to the building. “So you’re going to sit here and think of why you think it’s okay to talk like that.” She pulled out a paint bucket, and a brush. Pinkie’s eyes went wide, “Oh, not tha Paint Punishment!!” Cupcake nodded, “Yes ma’am, the Paint Punishment.” She popped the top to the paint and dipped the brush into it, making sure to cover it in a thick, heavy coat. She walked over to a spot on the wall where the coat was much thicker than anywhere else on the building. She slowly dragged the brush across, leaving a glistening fresh streak on the wall. “The sun has yet to hit this side of the building.” Cupcake pointed out. “So the paint shouldn’t dry for a while. That’ll give you plenty of time to think about it.” she looked over at Pinkie. “Is there anything you’d like to say before I leave” “I be straight-up sorry about dat bullshit.” As soon as the sentence left Pinkie’s mouth, she slapped both hooves over it. Cupcake’s face curled in digust, “I can’t believe you, Pinkamina. I’m very disappointed in you.” She turned and headed back inside, leaving Pinkie to her thoughts. She let out a sigh and focused on the wall. Knowing that she physically couldn’t stop cursing, she thought of other things instead. -MLP- “-And that’s why I can’t stop talking like this.” Spitfire read the note Dash gave to her out loud. She had called her in after the Pegasus decided to voice her opinion about a particular move, only to have an insanely hard time understanding her when she tried to explain herself. “So…until Princess Twilight fixes her machine…you’re stuck talking like that?” Dash nodded. Spitfire ran a hoof through her mane, “Okay, so maybe you shouldn’t talk about the stunts for a while.” “I can straight-up do dat, son! I won’t rap ‘bout tha thangs I don’t like.” Spitfire raised a brow, “Riiiiight…” she reached onto her desk and grabbed a clipboard, “Alright, so you and Surprise are going to fly a few of the laps. You two weren’t here the last two rehearsals, so I need you two to catch up, you got it?” “Yes yes y'all, ma'am, I be bout ta git right on dat shiznit son!” Spitfire snorted at the offending reply, but said nothing as Dash took off to the training grounds. Within a couple minutes, Dash found Surprise already waiting for her. The white Pegasus looked up and waved and Dash landed beside her, “Hey Dashie! How’s the potty mouth thing working for you?” Dash’s eyes narrowed. “Wait a minute, you weren't here dis morning. Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck holla'd at yo slick ass?!” Surprise giggled. “Nopony told me. It’s just the Surprise Sense.” “Really, biatch? I thought dat shiznit was just Pinkiez immediate crew dat had dat trait. Right back up in yo muthafuckin' ass.” “Nope, ‘The Sense’ runs through the whole family, cousins and all. Uncle Igneous and Auntie Cloudy have it, though they don’t want to admit it.” “Thatz pretty phat.” “Yeah, it is. I mean, it kind of sucks when I get twitchy wings or wobbly knees in mid-flight, because it throws me off. Other than that though, it doesn’t bother me.” She flapped her wings a few times and hovered above the ground and pulled her goggles over her eyes, “You ready to get started? We got a lot to catch up on.” Dash nodded and mirrored her actions, “Letz git ta dat shiznit son!” Surprise took off through the first loop with Dash in tow. They zipped through and snapped their wings open, letting themselves begin a free fall. “Okay, so the dive is supposed to last 15 seconds, and then we start a 20 second tight spiral, before breaking into a manepin turn back up!!” Surprise shouted before starting the technique. “Wait, what da fuck was dat last part?!” Dash screamed back, which was lost on the rush of air. She then gave a miniscule shrug, figuring that she’d just catch on to whatever Surprise was doing. She followed through the motions, pulling her wings tight to her body as she fell into a tight spiral. Only a few hooves behind, Surprise snapped her wings open, and Dash’s eyes went wide. Before she could even let out a sound of shock, she slammed into the other Wonderbolt, the full force of her weight snapping the hollow bones of Surprise’s wing like a twig. She let out a sharp yelp of pain, before slipping into unconsciousness, and beginning a wild tumble from the sky. Dash outstretched her hooves, “Hang on, Surprise biaaatch! I gots you, nahmean biiiatch?!” -MLP- “Dammit Big Mac, are you rockin' Applez Bloomz laptop fo' porn again?!” Applejack shouted as she stormed into Big Mac’s room with the laptop on her back. “Eeynope.” She opened it and pointed at the screen. “Big Mac, there be five tabs open wit not a god damn thang but porn.” “Maybe she opened ‘em.” “Dat hoe not even home, biaaatch! Quit lying!” Big Mac’s brow furrowed, “Ya shouldn’t be talkin’ about our sister like that! It ain’t right!” “I already holla'd at you, Twilightz machine is makin' me sound like this!” “Then maybe ya shouldn’t talk at all.” “And maybe you should stop watchin' porn on Applez Bloomz laptop n' loot yo' own!” “Loot mah own? Ah don’t know what that means.” “It means stop rockin' Applez Bloomz laptop fo' yo' urges!” A prismatic ring of light burst forth from the sky and caught Applejack’s attention. It was trailed by the roar of the sound barrier being broken. “That might be Dash lettin' our asses know Twilight fixed tha machine.” Applejack stated. “I be bout ta peep you lata n' shit. I be goin' ta go n' swing by Rarityz place.” She turned and dipped out of the room, and Big Mac stared at the door for a few more seconds. Once he heard the front door downstairs open and shut, he slowly reached for the laptop. -MLP- “Why did you have Spike mail me that letter?” Discord questioned. “You could’ve just used the whistle to call me.” “That don't matta up in dis biatch, Discord.” Fluttershy replied. “Yo ass need ta come back n' help Twilight fix tha machine.” Discord chuckled, “Twilight is a very smart mare. She’ll have no problem fixing it on her own.” “Yo ass is right...but dat don't mean itz easy as fuck. Yo ass touched sumthin' dat didn't belong ta you, n' then you broke dat shit. Yo ass even holla'd dat dat shiznit was both yo' faults.” Discord’s smile fell, and he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. Fluttershy took this as a sign to continue. “That means you need ta help her n' shit. Yo ass called dis a problem, right?” Discord shrugged his shoulders, “I called this a friendship problem? I can’t really say I recall…” “Discord!” “Alright, yes, I remember saying that!” “Then you need ta be a phat playa, n' help yo' other playaz out. Right back up in yo muthafuckin' ass. Biatch needz you, Discord. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I need you, biatch. We all do.” Discord rolled his eyes and let out a sigh, “You’re not really being fair, throwing all those things back at me like this.” Fluttershy giggled and gave him a soft smile, “Don’t hate tha playa, hate tha game.” -MLP- Applejack walked into Rarity’s boutique, and noticed that there was some fashion wear that even she knew didn’t belong in here. Rarity looked over at her as she stepped away from a ponnequin, “I didn't expect you ta leave tha farm. Did yo dirty ass happen ta hear from Twilight?” “Fuck dat shiznit yo, but I saw tha Rainboom n' figured dat shiznit was Dash tryin' ta git our attention...” she looked around at the baggy pants and long white tees, “So...did you decizzle ta go up in a gangbangin' hoof-lickin' different direction wit yo' threadz line?” Rarity levitated a few hats onto a rack. “Not exactly, I just decided ta diversify mah dirty ass. Da hip-hop industry be a cold-ass lil' straight-up different ghetto, n' I be goin' ta explore tha fashizzle aspect of dat shiznit son!” The bell above the door jingled, and Rarity greeted her patrons with a smile, “Yo, wuz crackalackin', biatch? Yo ass is smokin' Carousel Boutique; where every last muthafuckin' garment is chic, unique, n' magnifique!” Applejack’s eyes boggled at the customers. Two identical grey Earth Pony stallions donning a green and gold lined jumpsuits looked around the establishment. One of them cracked a smile, his gold covered teeth glinting in the store lights. “I didn’t expect a new urban clothing store to look like this…but this place is pretty tight!” the one that spoke looked between the two mares, “I heard that an ever-so-clever Element of Generosity ran this joint.” He focused on Rarity, “Is that you?” “That would be mah dirty ass.” Rarity replied as she outstretched a hoof, “And what tha fuck is yo' name?” “Ice Tea.” The stallion replied. “And this is my brother Three Square,” “Wazzup.” “And we form the rap duo known as Ice Cubed.” Ice finished. “We’re tryna find something that’ll reinvent our image. Something that’ll match our sick lyrics and even sicker beats.” Three stepped around his brother, “What you got?” “I've gots some fabulous pinstripe suits dat you might like. Believe it or not, ponies dressed ta tha nines can be incredibly thugged-out, as well mad urban.” Ice rubbed his chin thoughtfully, “You got a point…” he looked over at Three, “Whatcha think homie?” Three shrugged, “Whateva. I’m down for the shit.” Ice grinned and turned back to Rarity, “Alright Rarity, do yo thang.” “I'd be mo' than aiiight to!” Rarity’s phone chirped out a jingle, and she checked the screen, “It ain't nuthin' but Twilight. Maybe she gots tha machine fixed.” She magically pushed the answer button, making sure it was on speaker. “Yo muthafucka, Twilight. Were you successful up in fixin' yo' lil device?” “Fuck dat shiznit yo, but Fluttershy was able ta brang Discord back here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Well shiiiit, it shouldn't be too much longer wit his help. As a matta of fact, you hoes can go ahead n' start headin' back here.” “Excellent, then we'll be on our way. Right back up in yo muthafuckin' ass. See you when we git there!” “Peace out.” “Well, you heard tha Princess. Letz go back n' git ourselves turned back ta normal.” Applejack stated. “But...I have hustlas. I can't just up n' leave dem wild-ass muthafuckas.” Rarity replied softly. Ice chuckled, “You’re part of Princess Twilight’s crew. If she needs you, you have to go.” “Besides, you need to fix whatever is wrong with you two.” Three pointed out. Rarity smiled gratefully, “I straight-up appreciate yo' understanding. Will you able ta come back within a cold-ass lil' couple hours?” “Of course.” Ice answered. “We’ll be chillin’ here in P-ville for a few days, so don’t rush.” They all left the Boutique and parted ways. The two mares headed down the road, and Applejack rubbed her chin, “Wait, Dash still made dat Rainboom fo' some reason. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. We should call her n' peep where she is.” Rarity pulled her phone back out and dialed Dash’s number. It only took a few rings before Dash picked up. “Whatz good, Rares.” “Twilight called n' holla'd we can go back ta her place. Right back up in yo muthafuckin' ass. Biatch n' Discord gonna git it fixed by then. I ain't talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Where is yo slick ass?” “I can't leave, I be all up in tha hospitizzle n' ain't a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do.” Applejack and Rarity’s eyes went wide. Applejack snatched the phone from the Unicorn, “Why is you there, biatch? How tha fuck badly did you git hurt, biatch? Is you goin' ta be aiiight?” “Fuck dat shit, I be fine. I crashed tha fuck into Surprise n' broke her wing. Right back up in yo muthafuckin' ass. Biatch passed out mid fall, so I caught her n' brought her here.” There was a pause in the conversation as Dash started speaking to somepony in the background. It carried on for a few seconds before Dash spoke to them again. “Da doctor holla'd dat she'll be aiiiight, they just gotta set her wing so they can cook up a cold-ass lil' cast fo' dat shit. I be bout ta go ahead n' peep you muthafuckas as Twilightz place.” Before Rarity or Applejack could reply, the line went dead with a click. Rarity rolled her eyes, “Why is it so hard fo' Rainbow Dash ta signify she endin' tha conversation before hangin' up, biatch? An 'adeiu', a 'farewell', even a 'see you later' would do. Right back up in yo muthafuckin' ass. Somepony need ta teach her beeper etiquette.” Applejack shrugged, “Whatever, letz just git outta here before suttin' happens ta tha machine again.” Rarity nodded in agreement before they both broke into a gallop towards Twilight’s castle. -MLP- “And why, pray tell, do I have to be the one to go and get the uranium power cell?” Discord questioned as he leered down at Twilight. “Because you tha one dat gots our asses tha fuck into this, n' you goin' ta be tha one ta git our asses up fo' realz.” She replied. “All you gotta do, is git all up in where they sold, n' loot one.” “You could do the same thing you know.” He suddenly gave her a snarky grin, "Or is it because you’ve got an image to maintain?” She narrowed her eyes, “I swear ta tha godz above Discord, if you don't just go n' do what tha fuck I axed you ta do-“ He threw his mix matched hands up, “Alright, alright. Don’t get fussy. I’ll go and get it.” He teleported with an audible pop, and reappeared within a minute with a giant mechanical container, with a strange silvery white material hovering within it. “Here’s your precious power cell.” He grumbled. Twilight levitated it from his grasp, and carefully locked it into place on the machine. She reached up and tapped a few buttons, and the machine hummed to life. “Okay...Discord, we' gotta regista yo' voice within tha system, since you tha only one outta all of our asses whoz ass still has a aiiight voice.” “Very well then. I suppose I can help out my friends…” he typed a few buttons until the machine spoke back. “Vocal Registration activated, please state your name. Discord cleared his throat, “Discord, King of Chaos.” “Good Afternoon, Discord, King of Chaos. Please input a phrase to input into Vocal Database System.” A mischievous smile painted his face, “I am better than Twilight Sparkle in every single way.” Twilight leered up at him, but said nothing in fear of messing up the registration. The machine made a few clicks and, to Twilight’s annoyance, played Discord’s message back to him. There were a few more hums and whirs, before the machine spoke up again. “Vocal Registration has been completed for ‘Discord, King of Chaos’.” “Fantastic…” Discord’s voice dripped with sarcasm. He looked down at Twilight, “Now what?” “That was just up in case tha buttons break or something.” Twilight replied. “I be bout ta set every last muthafuckin' thang back ta fix our asses right.” Discord stepped aside and let the princess type in the codes and other things she needed to do. After taking a few minutes to set everything up, she looked up at Discord, “What language is we even bustin' lyrics right now?” Discord rubbed the back of his long neck, “It’s not a real language…per se. You see, when we hit the machine, I was on the internet using Gizoogle.” Twilight rolled her eyes and inputted the website Discord had previously been on. She then put in a series of commands and stepped away from the machine. “Okay, so every last muthafuckin' thang is set up ta where it should have our asses bustin' lyrics Enquish again.” She looked up at Discord, “All you gotta do, is wait until we all on tha platform, then push dat purple button right there.” She finished as she pointed at the only purple button on the machine. He smirked, “So what happens if I don’t push it?” “Then you might as well not show yo' grill up in Equestria eva again.” He let out a groan of defeat, “Fine, fine.” He made a shooing motion to the group, “Go get on the platform so we can get this over with.” They all made their way to the metallic platform, and looked over at Discord expectantly. He grumbled a bit, before pushing the button. A machine hummed and whirred with newly found vigor, and the spires that surrounded the platform crackled with electricity. They all felt the tingle on their coats at electricity course through them for a few moments. The humming died as the process stopped, and the machine let out a little ping, “Vocal alteration complete.” After that, the room remained silent. They were all apprehensive to speak. What if Twilight’s machine hadn’t worked? Discord looked back and forth between them impatiently, “Will somepony speak so that we can figure out if this worked or not? I don’t want to be here all day.” “Shut up, Discord! You’re the one who put us in this situation in the first place!” Twilight snapped. Their faces lit up as she insulted Discord in perfect Enquish. “You did it!” Rarity squealed. “You fixed the machine!” “No…” Fluttershy stood by Discord, “They both did.” She looked up at the draconequus. “I’m very proud of you. Thank you for helping Twilight and fixing the machine.” Discord’s grumpy demeanor softened, “It wasn’t that big of an issue, really. I’m…glad I could help you.” For a moment, Fluttershy’s kindness spread amongst the group, before Dash’s eyes went wide. “Oh crap!” she grabbed Pinkie by the shoulders. “I’m really sorry, but I put your cousin in the hospital! I gotta go back!” Before any of them could question it, Dash took off in a streak of prismatic light. Pinkie snorted, “I’ll you girls later.” She zipped out of the room, the sudden wind force snatching papers everywhere as she was trailed by a pink, and lighter pink, streak. -MLP- “I got here as fast as I could!” Dash gasped out as she threw the door to Surprise’s room wide open. Surprise looked up at her a look of panic in her eyes, she shook her head rapidly, but it was far too late. Dash’s gaze settled on Pinkie sitting in a chair next to the bed, forelegs crossed and a hoof tapping the ground. Baby blue eyes were boring into her, and Dash shrank beneath Pinkie’s gaze. “Dashie…” the normally friendly nickname was laced with a frightening tone, “What did you do to Surprise??” “She crashed into me during practice.” Surprise quickly replied. “But it’s not her fault! Besides, It was one clean break, so it won’t take as long to heal.” Dash slowly walked up to the bed. “I’m really sorry about all this, Surprise. I couldn’t hear what you had said about the last part of the stunt. I’ll never make that mistake again…” “Don’t worry about it…Crash.” Surprise replied before letting out a snort and breaking out into a giggle. Dash smiled softly at the name, but then it fell as something crossed her mind. “Hey wait a minute…” one of her eyebrows raised up, “Spitfire couldn’t understand a thing I had said. How were you able to?” Surprise’s smile shrank a bit, “Well, I grew up in Manehattan. I didn’t choose the thug life;” the smile had now completely vanished. “The thug life chose me.” MySpace: What's That? (Ditzy & Dinky)Ditzy beamed with pride as she stared at her profile page. Her picture showed her and Dinky, smiling into the camera they were posing for. The profile background was grey, with bubbles floating up the screen. She had a small paragraph that told a bit about herself, with her name and birth day posted next to it. She had just gotten her first friend and was searching out some more when her daughter rounded the corner. Her eyes immediately honed in one the screen and a smirk made its way to her lips, “Mom…did you just make that profile?” Ditzy nodded. “Yes ma’am! I think I did quite a good job.” A snicker escaped Dinky, “What are you doing?” “Trying to find others from around town.” Ditzy squinted her eyes in concentration, “But I’m having a hard time finding anypony…” Another giggle, “Mom?” “Yes dear?” “Nopony uses MySpace anymore.” Ditzy’s eyes went wide and her head whipped into Dinky’s direction, “What?!” “Nopony uses it anymore. For like…years. Everypony’s on Facebook.” She reached the front door and opened it, “Anyway, I’m going to go hang out with Sweetie Belle. I’ll see you later!” The door closed with a soft click, and Ditzy let out a defeated sigh, before beginning the process of deleting the profile. Author's Note I'm sorry, I couldn't resist doing a troll chapter.
Fanfiction.net: Non-Canon MADE Canon (CMC & Mane 6)The Cutie Mark Crusaders were all chilling in Sweetie Belle’s room, relaxing after a hard day of work and school. Sweetie was doing homework, Apple Bloom was drawing, and Scootaloo was on the computer, laughing at reaction videos from ponies playing scary pranks on each other. “Wow, that dude scared the crap outta him!” Scootaloo stated between chuckles. “That’s wonderful Scoots. Now, can you give me 10 minutes of ‘shut the hell up’?” Sweetie questioned. “I’m trying to finish my trigonometry homework.” “No one told you to take trigonometry in the 10th grade!” Scootaloo hopped out of her chair and began to prance around, “Look at me. I’m Sweetie Belle! I’m 15, and my I.Q level is 273! But I’m a jackass, so I like to show off how smart I am, by taking a 12th grade class when I’m in the 10th grade! I guess that makes me a genius jackass!” Sweetie jumped out of her bed. She ruffled up her mane, and cleared her throat, “Hey, I’m Scootaloo!! I don’t have to say ‘Look at me’ because I have an obnoxiously loud voice that can be heard within a 300 mile radius!!!” Scootaloo growled. Apple Bloom giggled, but cut it short when the young Pegasus shot her a glare. “Anyway, I think I’m a tough, awesome Pegasus, even though I can still barely fly!! I also squawk like a chicken, but my face looks like a pig’s!!” “At least I don’t sound like one, Ms. ‘I snort every time I laugh’!!” Scootaloo pointed at Sweetie Belle. The curly maned Unicorn gasped, “I do not! You take that back!” Scootaloo then began to mock Sweetie’s laugh, snorts included. Sweetie tackled her spiky maned companion. While they duked it out, Apple Bloom decided to get on the computer. She had grown use to their brawls, something that the two had started doing as they got older. She scrolled through the computer, looking up websites and interesting pictures. Her eyebrow then perked up as her eyes fell upon a certain page. “Hey girls, come on over here an’ take a look at this here website.” The ponies stopped in mid fight. Sweetie had a good grip on Scootaloo’s mane, while Scootaloo’s left hoof was jammed into Sweetie’s cheek. “What is it?” Scootaloo asked. “Some kinda website called Fanfiction.net.” The strawberry maned pony replied. “It’s got bunch of fake stories made by fans of all these T.V shows, movies, books, an’ other things like that.” Her amber eyes lit up, “An’ My Lil’ Ponies have 25,318 stories in their archive!” The two mares rushed to each side of her. “They got any other shows?” Scootaloo asked. Sweetie turned to her, “We’re in a show?” Scootaloo blinked, “Wait, what?” “Shuddup, I’m trying to see what all they have.” Apple Bloom commanded before turning back to the screen, “They got Sailor Moon, Inuyasha, Lilo an’ Stitch-” Scootaloo rolled her eyes, “Do they have any shows NOT named after someone?” Sweetie scratched her head,"Am I the only one that doesn't know we're in a show?" Apple Bloom ignored her to respond to Scootaloo.“Yeah. They’ve got them Powerpuff Girls, Adventure Time, My Lil’ Ponies-“ “Click on the My Little Ponies archive.” the Pegasus commanded. The pony obeyed, “Ya can choose which characters are in the story, the genre, what it’s rated, if ya wantin’ tah read one that’s finished or not…” Sweetie and Scootaloo exchanged a look, both grinning wickedly. “Okay, click on these things:” Sweetie instructed. “Applejack, Big Mac, Romance, M rated, and Complete.” The Earth Pony eyed her suspiciously, but did it anyway. After a few seconds, it came up with a list of stories. She clicked on the first story, and read it’s title out loud, “When Two Became One.” Sweetie and Scootaloo snickered. Poor Apple Bloom didn’t have a clue as to what they were up to. The trio began to read the story. The first paragraph was okay, but with each sentence after that, their eyes got wider, and their mouths dropped open. “Oh…My…Gods.” They whispered. There were a few moments of silence. Then: One screamed in shock, Two roared with laughter, All three filled the house with noise. Rarity rushed into the room, followed by her friends. “What in Equestria is going on in here?!” Rarity asked. Scootaloo and Sweetie were rolling around and laughing but they managed to point at the computer screen. Apple Bloom was still frozen with shock, slack jawed as she blankly stared at the screen. Rarity walked over and looked at the screen. She did a quick scan of the story, and then joined in on the laughter. “Oh dear Celestia, talk about a sibling bond!” The violet maned Unicorn wheezed out. “It doesn’t get any closer than that!” At that point, everyone rushed up to the screen. Applejack and Big Mac were up in front. The siblings’ faces heated up as they all read the short, but steamy story. The group looked at them, and they looked at each other. “EWWW!!!!” Applejack and Big Mac screamed in disgusted harmony, causing everyone to explode with laughter. After a good 10 minutes of hoof stomping and laughing, they all looked back at the computer screen. “Wow. Okay, do another one.” Dash asked as she wiped tears of laughter from her eyes. Fluttershy took over the computer for the mentally scarred Apple Bloom. She scrolled through the genres. “They have an ‘It’s A Mystery’ section.” Fluttershy pointed out in her usual quiet tone. “Click on that one!” the cyan Pegasus pointed at the screen. Fluttershy did so, and the story they picked was called: “Making All That Noise…” They checked the summary. “It doesn’t say who the main characters are. The story is a Humor/Romance short that’s complete and rated M.” Twilight stated. “I guess we’re supposed to read it in order to figure out who the characters are.” Pinkie Pie added. Fluttershy opened up the story. They all read it together. Some slapped a hoof over their mouth, while others let their jaws hit the floor. All of them were silenced by the graphic details of the story. Dash and Pinkie were the first to make noise, “HOLY SHIT!!” They screamed in unison. “The two characters are-” -MLP- Elsewhere… Octavia, Vinyl Scratch, Derpy, Carrot Top, and Zecora were having a lunch date at ‘Welcome To A Slice Of Italy’. They all were chatting and laughing and enjoying their meals. Suddenly, Octavia and Vinyl sneezed at the same time. The three mares looked at them, while they looked at each other. “Well, that was weird.” Octavia stated as she rubbed her snout. Zecora smiled, “I was told this once, and it seems to be true. When you let out a sneeze, somepony is speaking about you. Vinyl smirked, “Somepony must be talking about how amazing and handsome I am.” Carrot Top rolled her eyes and Derpy giggled. Vinyl caught them, “Hmpf, what do you two know? You two are gay.” Carrot Top glared at her, but Derpy looked just as confused as ever. “But, Vinyl, aren’t you a girl? How...how can you be handsome?” Derpy asked. “Just what I was going to say.” Carrot Top agreed. “Besides, you’re gay as well.” Vinyl grumbled at losing the argument, but finished her meal with her lover and friends. Octavia sneezed again. Then Vinyl. This was going to be a very long luncheon. Author's Note I had finally decided to make this multiple one-shots with a tinge of continuation for certain chapters. Posting will come when they come (working on other projects) so bear with me!!
Youtube: The Internet's Gateway Drug (Mane 6 & Spike)“Whew! Today was busier than usual, huh Winona?” Applejack asked her pet as they left the cow pastures to head back to their house. The dog barked out an agreement before continuing her panting. Today had consisted of far more than just tending to the animals and bucking trees, but Applejack was feeling pleased nonetheless. There was nothing more satisfying than knowing she had completed a hard day of work. And after completing such a day, she loved a well-earned rest. She smiled inwardly at the thought of it. She really didn’t love anything more than rest. Well, except for her family, of course. Her friends too, but family first. Yep, Granny Smith, Apple Bloom… Big Mac. She shuddered inwardly as the memories of that story she read online flooded her brain. The story was so…what’s a word Rarity would’ve used? Repulsive. Yeah, that was it. She shook her head to get rid of the thoughts of that horrible story and made her way inside. She trotted up the stairs and headed towards her room. She heard Apple Bloom giggling and smiled. She was always wanting the best for her younger sister, and making sure the young mare was happy. She stopped though, when she heard the giggle morph into a ridiculously loud guffaw. She turned around and headed to her sister’s room. She opened the door to see Apple Bloom glued to her laptop, laughing at something on the screen, “Ah thought ya was s’posed tah be doin’ yer homework?” Applejack questioned. Apple Bloom looked up at her, “Relax sis, Ah’ve been done fer almost an hour now. Ah was just watchin’ some funny videos online. Scoots gave me this website that she uses, an’ it’s got a ton of great videos on it.” Applejack took a seat beside her sister, “What’s it called?” “Youtube.” Applejack froze. She had heard of this site before. It was like the gateway drug of the internet. There were so many videos for Apple Bloom to watch, that the young mare probably didn’t know where to start. As of now, the screen had been paused on two stallions and a mare, their faces contorted into shock and disgust. “So uh…what video are ya watchin’ in particular?” Applejack questioned. “Just some reactions to a video that’s s’posed tah be super gross.” “What’s the video called?” “’Two Mares, One Cup’.” Apple Bloom replied as she opened up another browser. “Ah’ve tried tah find it, but every time Ah do, the parental block keeps poppin’ up!” she huffed and crossed her forelegs, “Why do Ah gotta have a parental block? Ah don’t even have parents!!” Applejack snorted angrily and smacked the back of her sister’s head, “Watch that mouth of yers! We do have parents, that are lookin’ down on us from the Heaven Fields, and they ain’t happy with yer words right now!” Apple Bloom gingerly rubbed the back of her head, “Alright, Ah’m sorry. Geez…” she started typing something up before she stopped. She sniffed the air, her face scrunched up, and she turned to Applejack, “Sis, ya need tah take a shower. Ya smell. Bad.” Applejack got up, “Ah smell like hard work.” She swatted her little sister with her tail, “Unlike yerself.” Apple Bloom smacked away the offending tail, “Ah do hard work fer mah brain now, not mah body. Ah need tah be smart if Ah wanna be a good alchemist like Zecora.” “Yeah, yeah.” Applejack stated before trotting out of the room and heading to her own. She headed for the bathroom and jumped into the shower. As she did, she found herself wondering what ‘Two Mares, One Cup’ actually was. What about that video freaked out the ponies that Apple Bloom was watching? How bad could it possibly have been? Well, obviously bad enough that the parental blocker wouldn’t allow her to see it, but so bad that Youtube would only let you watch videos of other ponies freaking out about it? This had peaked her interest, and now she had to see this video for herself. Unfortunately, the only computer in the house was Apple Bloom’s. There was no way she’d be able to watch the video without being caught and questioned by her. She scratched her chin, “Where can Ah watch that damn video?” She thought for a while longer, and suddenly, the idea popped into her head. She knew just where to go, and she’d make sure to head there first thing tomorrow. -MLP- The next day… Applejack had found herself lucky. Twilight decided to hold a little get-together for the Mane Six at her castle. The Earth Pony sat in the castle’s dining room, surrounded by her best friends, as they all chatted and ate the various dishes laid out in front of them. She decided that there wouldn’t be a better time than now to ask her question. “Does anypony know what ‘Two Mares, One Cup’ is?” They stared at her for a moment, then looked at one another. Dash scratched her chin, “It sounds familiar…” she suddenly smiled and slammed her hooves on the table, “I remember what it is now!” she turned to Twilight, “Is the library’s main computer on?” Twilight nodded, “Well yes, it should be-” “YES!!!” the Pegasus jumped up and galloped out of the room. A few seconds later, her head popped from around the door frame, “Why are none of you following me?” Rarity rolled her eyes, “Because nopony wants to follow you. If you’re so excited about this, it can’t be anything good.” She focused back on her plate, “Or legal, for that matter…” Dash stomped a hoof, “Come on! Just check it out. I promise, it won’t take much of your time.” Applejack rose from her seat, “Well, Ah did ask if anypony knew what it was.” She trotted past Dash, “So of course, I’m in.” Dash grinned, “See? It cant’t be as bad as you think if AJ wants to see what it is.” “But Applejack admitted that she doesn’t even know what it is…” Fluttershy responded. “Then this is a great opportunity to…” she grinned even harder, “LEARN about it.” The Wonderbolt knew she got what she wanted as she watched Twilight’s ears perk up. “Learning? I love learning!!” she jumped out of her chair, “Let’s go girls! To the library!” Pinkie and Fluttershy rose from their seats. Rarity let out a groan/sigh of defeat, before following them. They headed to the library wing of the castle. Spike was busy typing up a report of some sort, when he felt six ponies staring at the back of his head. He spun around in his custom wheelie chair to face them, “Uh…are you girls okay? Can I help you with anything?” “We need the computer.”Dash stated. “They want to learn about something, and I’m going to teach them.” Spike snorted as he stifled his laughter, “You? YOU? You’re going to teach them something?” He got up and stepped to the side, “This, I have to see.” Dash plopped down into the large chair and quickly typed in a link to the video. “Spike, move yer big butt tah the back!” Applejack ordered. Spike grumbled as he moved to the back of the small group. Dash opened the page to the video, “Oh, wait a sec.” she reached under the desk and grabbed the trash can. She placed it on the desk next to the monitor. Confusion washed over the group, “W-why is that there?” Fluttershy questioned. Dash ignored her, “Before I start this, nopony is allowed to leave.” “Rainbow, what’s going on?” Twilight asked, a bit of concern lacing her voice. “Yeah, why can’t we leave?” Applejack asked. “Because I’m daring you not to leave.” There was a moment of silence before Applejack spoke up again. “Ah don’t back down from no dare. Ah’m in.” Pinkie shrugged, “Okay!!” Twilight rolled her eyes, “I thought this was going to be a learning experience.” “It is! And I DARE you to LEARN about this!!” The lavender Alicorn rubbed her temples, “Fine. You’re an ass though…exploiting my love for learning like this.” Rarity got up and started to leave, “I’m not staying. I’ll see you girls when you’re all done.” Dash leaned into Pinkie’s ear, “She can’t leave. Go get her.” Pinkie nodded and literally vanished from the group. They looked at the spot where Pinkie had been, a small cloud of dust confirming she really just vanished. They suddenly heard a shriek from Rarity be cut off, and turned to see that she was gone as well. There was a *POOF!* sound, and they turned back to see Pinkie was back in the middle of their group, clutching onto a disheveled and borderline hyperventilating Rarity. The marshmellow colored Unicorn quickly looked around the group, then at Pinkie, “What the hell just happened?!” Pinkie smiled, “Dashie said not to let you leave. So I grabbed you!” Rarity got out of Pinkie’s grasp and moved to sit in between Applejack and Dash. She inhaled a calming breath, fixed her mane, and then landed a quick and heavy punch to Dash’s ribcage. The Wonderbolt let out a pained grunt and leered at Rarity, “What the fuck was that for?!” “For sending Pinkie to get me, that’s what!” Dash grumbled as she scrolled over to the ‘play’ button and clicked on it. Soft piano music emitted from the speakers as the group stared at the screen. After a few seconds, Spike’s face lit up, “Alright, Filly Foolers!!” Twilight smacked his arm, “Show some courtesy! A good portion of Ponyville's citizens are lesbimares, which is the proper term for them, as I have taught you before!” “How long are they going to make out?” Fluttershy asked, as her eyes kept flickering away from the screen. “Uh…what’s she doin?” Applejack questioned. “What’s she gonna do with that cup? It’s awful close tah-” The group’s pupils, save for Dash’s, shrank to pinpricks. Their mouths dropped open as Dash snickered. “What the fuck is this?!” Rarity shrieked, all traces of her prim and proper behavior now nonexistent. “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!?!” Twilight leapt into the air, “Spike, cover your eyes!!” She flailed her hooves in his face, only for him to wrap his tail around her form, and force her to the ground, “Can’t back out of Dash’s dare…” he responds to her in a flat tone. “OHDEAROHDEAROHDEAROHDEAR!!” Fluttershy shrieked repeatedly as she jumped up to flee the room. Dash was cackling and wiping tears from her eyes as she gave Pinkie the command once more, “Dude-don’t let her leave!!” Pinkie nodded. POOF!! She was gone. POOF!! She was back, latched on to a terrified yellow Pegasus. “NOPONY LEAVES THE FREAKIN’ ROOM!!” Pinkie screamed in her soprano-like tone. “NOPONY!!!” “But I can’t take this anymore!!” Fluttershy cried out. “This is illogical! Why would somepony want to-OH MY GODS, MAKE THEM STOP!!!” Twilight screamed. Her horn glowed brightly as she used her magical grasp to yank the trash can towards her, “OH NO! NOT NEAR ME!!” Spike roared as he chucked his boss/sister behind him. His stomach grumbled and churned violently at the sound of explosive vomit splattering on the floor and the walls. He jumped up quickly, “I can’t stand the sound of puking!!” he cried out. “Let me outta here!!” He turned, only to find Pinkie blocking the door, “WHEN I SAID NOPONY LEAVES, I MEANT THAT!!” “I’M NOT EVEN A FUCKING PONY, I'M A DRAGON!! NOW GET OUT OF MY WAY!!” "NOOO!!" Fluttershy broke down into tears as Rarity was the second to throw up. Dash was bent over with laughter, and Applejack’s jaw was nearly touching the floor. It all happened too fast for her, The piano music. This taboo image playing out before her. The sound of chaos and vomit all behind her. The smell of puke hit her nostrils. Bile hit the back of her throat. And she let it out. She spewed it onto the screen. Droplets hit Dash as she went from laughing to screaming out in disgust. Her vision went watery, and then to black. -MLP- Applejack woke up to the sound of the fire department and yelling. She rubbed her head and slowly sat up. Snot and leftover vomit caked her muzzle as she looked around in confusion. Her best friends (except for Rainbow Dash, because she was going to FUCKING MURDER HER when she got the chance to do so!) were all sitting together not too far away from her. Pinkie suddenly popped into her field of vision, “Hey there Sleepy Head!! How are you feeling?” “Ah feel like a bunch of dragons threw a party inside mah head…” Applejack replied as she rubbed her temples. Pinkie smiled, “Well, we’d rather you have a headache than be burned to death!” Applejack stopped rubbing her head, “What the hell are ya talkin’ about?” Pinkie helped the Earth Pony to her hooves and they started to head to the group, “Well, after you puked all over the screen and passed out, the smell was getting to Spike. He’s one of those ‘If I smell puke, I’m going to puke' kind of dragons. And so he did. What none of us knew, was that when a dragon pukes, it’s hot lava! And he’s like you; a freaking rocket puker. So it melted through the floor and the walls and, well-” she snorted, “With all those books and scrolls in there, something’s bound to catch on fire, right? Well, almost the entire library went up in flames.” As they got closer to the group, Dash was speaking to the group, “And that my friends…is ‘Two Mares, One Cup’.” “You’re going to pay me back for every book that was destroyed.” Twilight said angrily. Dash arched a brow, “I feel bad for what happened in there, but c’mon, I mean, nopony saw that coming! A dragon throwing up hot lava? What since does that make?” she looked up at Spike, “Don’t you guys like, swim in that stuff?” Spike sighed, “It’s different than the magma that’s in volcanoes.” Let out a small belch, “Now can we drop it? All this talk about puke makes me wanna puke again.” “It’s ‘want to’ Spike, not ‘wanna’. I’d show you in one of the dictionaries but the FREAKING LIBRARY IS GONE!!” Twilight shot the last part of her sentence and a glare in Dash’s direction, who only smiled and slightly shrugged. The action angered Twilight even further, causing her to tackle Dash into the ground. And while the Alicorn was all-powerful when it came to magic, the same could not be said for her physical strength. Dash simply laughed and half-heartedly blocked the light punches from the princess. “STOP LAUGHING, YOU ASSHOLE!!” Twilight screamed. Dash’s laughs peaked to a higher octave. “HEY, KNOCK IT OFF!!” Pinkie screamed, causing the group to stop their actions and focus on her. She cleared her throat, “Twilight, I know you’re upset that the library is gone, but look at it this way…would you rather have all of your books okay, or all of your friends okay?” Twilight stood there for a few seconds, her hoof still digging into Dash’s arm. She sighed and got off of the Wonderbolt, “I guess my friends do come first…” “Good! Now, Dashie, why don’t you apologize for burning all of Twilight’s books?” Dash sat up, “But I didn’t-” “FUCKING APOLOGIZE!!” Dash flinched, “I’m sorry for burning up all of your books!!” Twilight smiled, “You are forgiven.” Pinkie bounced up and down, “Yay! Now we’re all friends again!! And you know what goes really good with friendship?!” Fluttershy gave a small smile, “A party?” “Well yeah, but not just that…SOME ICE CREAM!!” Another round of massive puking commenced once more. Dash laughed…and laughed…and laughed… Author's Note Ah, a tribute the legendary viral video 'Two Girls, One Cup'. A tale between two (more than likely paid) lovers that...nah, you know what? Go find the video if you want. I recommend you don't watch it if you just ate or you just have a weak stomach in general. If you are strong willed through, making bets for people to watch it all the way through it a fantastic way to make money!!
Urban Dictionary: Cracks In The Fourth Wall (Pinkie, Dash, & Twilight)Twilight had been doing fine, reading her books as she sipped on her cup of coffee. Staying with Dash until her home had been repaired was actually rewarding. “Would you knock it off?!” “I’m sniping the other team!” “Get off your ass and actually run around the map!” “Snipers don’t do that!” Her performance when it came to flying had skyrocketed thanks to her daily lessons with the Wonderbolt. “Pinkie, stop camping!!” “Im not! I’m surveying the area from a particular spot!” “THAT’S FUCKING CAMPING!!!!” She had also been a great hostess. She cooked almost every meal, and she did it well. She would even go as far to say that she makes the best roasted almond and seasoned daisy flower sandwiches she had ever eaten. “Oh my Gods, get your shit together!!” “Oh, so you’re gonna blame me because you got killed? That was clearly somepony being a noob!!” “They would’ve had to get in your line of sight in order to kill me! You suck at sniping!” “You couldn’t avoid an rpg round?” there was a giggle, “Sounds like you’re the one that sucks, not me. And despite her rough and brash personality, she was a very prim and clean pony, and kept her house just that way as well. “OH MY GODS!!!” “Dashie, get it together!!” “Shut the hell up!!” She honestly couldn’t complain about much during her stay. There was only one thing that irked at her nerves, “Pinkie Pie, you’re such a fucking troll!!” And it was Dash’s gamer rage. Twilight sighed as the bickering between Dash and Pinkie raged on. She got up and trotted into the living room. She walked in on Dash having a hoof digging into Pinkie’s stomach, and Pinkie had her teeth latched onto the Pegasus’ ear. Twilight rolled her eyes, “What seems to be the problem?” “Pinks keeps camping in the game, and it’s pissing me off!” Twilight turned to Pinkie, “I meant to ask earlier, but how did you get here? We’re, you know, in the air.” Pinkie let go of Dash’s ear, “Well, duh silly!! I got up here just like you did!” Twilight arched an eyebrow, “You flew up here?” “No, the author wrote me into this scene!” “What?” Dash spoke up before Pinkie could reply to the Alicorn, “Anyway, Pinks is being a fucking camping noob! And it’s pissing me off!” Pinkie giggled, “It’s not my fault that you kept dying, Dashie.” “Pinkie, what scene are you talking about? You mean like, in a show?” Twilight questioned. Her question went unanswered as Dash lunged at Pinkie, starting up another brawl between them. Twilight’s horn lit up as she used her magic to break the two apart, “Alright you two, that’s enough. You’re acting like a couple of foals.” She plopped Dash on one side of the puffy cloud couch, and Pinkie on the other end. She stepped in front of them, “Rainbow, you really need to get that gamer rage of yours in check. Pinkie may be able to handle your anger, but can the same be said for your other friends?” Dash crossed her forelegs and let out a huff, “No…” “Okay then. So let’s apologize and let Pinkie play the game however she wants to play it. Remember, it’s just that, a game.” Dash looked over at Pinkie, “I’m sorry for getting upset with you. You got a different playing style that I just…you know, don’t like. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t like you.” Pinkie smiled, “I totally accept your apology for your rage, and your suckiness at ‘BattleField 4’. It’s not your fault, and I’m not upset at you for it.” Before Dash could retaliate, Twilight shoved a hoof over her mouth, “Thank you, Pinkie, for that well thought out and sincere apology!!” she looked back at Dash, slightly shaking her head. Dash rolled her eyes and moved Twilight’s hoof, “Yeah…thanks.” With a satisfied smile on her face, Twilight stepped away from them, “Now that that’s cleared up, I can go and look up what ‘noob’ means.” Pinkie and Dash stared at her, dumbfounded. They then looked at each other, and proceeded to burst into a fit of laughter. Twilight looked at the duo with confusion, “What’s so funny?” “Y-y-you don’t know what a ‘noob’ is?” Pinkie questioned as she wiped the tears from her eyes. “Is it some type of strange animal?” Pinkie and Dash’s laughter turned to wheezing, as they struggled to get air in their lungs. Twilight stared at them, unamusement added on to her confusion. Dash turned to her and gasped for air, “Do…do you at least know what ‘camping’ is?” The Alicorn rolled her eyes, “Of course I do! It’s when we go out into the woods, and do camping activities such as telling storied over a fire, making s’mores, and sleeping under the open sky.” During the reply, Dash and Pinkie had gotten air back into their lungs, because when she was done, their laughter exploded. She sighed and started to turn around and head back to the guest bedroom. Pinkie grabbed on to her hind leg, “Wait, wait!! I’m-” she snickered. “I’m sorry!!” she took a few deep breaths before rising to her hooves, “Okay…how about Dashie and I just show you the definition?” “I’ve never even seen that word in a book before.” Twilight replied. “Is there some new edition of the di-” “Twilight, please don’t finish that sentence.” Dash cut her off. “I can’t take anymore.” She finished it off with a giggle. “C’mon. Pinks and I know a website where you can find out what it means.” The three ponies traveled up the fluffy cloud stairs, to an even fluffier cloud room. It consisted of a few pieces of exercising equipment, a yoga mat, and a laptop sitting in black bean bag. Dash hovered over to the laptop and grabbed it. She opened it, turned on the power, and brought it over to the other two, who were comfortably laying out on the floor. “Okay, so there’s this website called ‘Urban Dictionary’, and you can look up pretty much any slang term you’ve ever heard in your life on this website.” Dash started to explain. “All you gotta do, is type the word, or words, you’re trying to find, just wait!” She slid the lap top over to Twilight, who proceeded to type in ‘noob’, “Originally an (shortened) insult to newcomers in forums or internet games e.g. counter strike, the word has been stolen and is currently being used as an insult with a different meaning. It is used in certain places to describe somepony who is slightly - ahem - slow and ditsy. Basically it is used to insult a pony who makes a stupid comment or somepony who makes many stupid comments.” Twilight read out loud, as her eyes scrolled the texts. She looked over at Dash, “This is actually pretty helpful. Thank you.” Dash smiled and grinned, “No problem, Egghead. Now please…look up the other meaning for camping before you embarrass yourself again…” Twilight sighed and typed in ‘camping’. “A term used most frequently in first-pony shooter video games, ‘camping’ refers to the act of hiding or otherwise remaining in a hidden, obscured, or safe location in order to ambush an enemy or objective, or to avoid harm. There is much controversy over whether or not camping is a respectable strategy; some claim camping is cowardly and cheap, while others maintain that it is intelligent and strategic.” Twilight turned to Pinkie, “So…you were cheating.” Pinkie shook her head, “No I wasn’t. You just read the definition for yourself!” “Nah, you were totally cheating.” Dash stated in a flat tone. Pinkie growled and shoved the Pegasus, who in turn, shoved right back. Twilight swiped up the laptop and proceeded to move, as she knew the brawl between the two was about to begin. She ignored the sounds of punches and shouting, she began to type in more words that she had heard before, but didn’t quite understand. “Ooh…that’s what that meant?” she questioned as she looked over definition after definition of words. Hmm…that is really strange they’d use that word in such a way…” The search continued on. So long in fact, that Pinkie and Dash had stopped fighting, and were taking turns playing ‘Destiny’. “You think Twilight fell asleep up there or something?” Dash questioned as she pounded a couple of the controller’s buttons, “Fuck! I died…” Pinkie snatched the controller away from her, “No, she’s probably still on the laptop looking up EVERYTHING she’s EVER heard. You know that she doesn’t speak much slang.” “WAZZUP MOTHAFUCKAS?! T-Y Sparklez in the hizzouse!!!” Dash and Pinkie craned their heads around, and looked up at Twilight. “Where’d you get that bandana from?” Pinkie squinted and leaned forward, “Is that…is that a grill in your mouth?” Twilight let out a hearty laugh, “Hell yeah!! I got the freshest, best karats I could get! And these rocks are so icy, that the Crystal Empire ain’t got shit on me!!” Dash snickered, “Twilight-” “T-Y!!” A snort escaped from her nose, “Okay…T-Y…what’s that’s on your foreleg?” Twilight snorted and grinned, “It’s my sick ink, dumbass. It says ‘Thug Life’.” “I have a tattoo too!!” Pinkie screamed with glee, as she defied physics once again and rolled up the coat on her right foreleg like a sleeve. She showed her pearly whites, as Twilight and Dash looked at the ink, “’Hug Life’?” they both questioned in unison, as Pinkie practically trembled with joy, “Yeah!!” “Pffft, you ain’t no bad ass like me!” Twilight declared. “T-Y would wipe the floor with yo’ asses like a fucking mop!!” Dash’s brow furrowed, “Well Rainbow Dash would school you like a teacher!” Pinkie clacked her hooves together, “Yay, third-pony speech!! Pinkie Pie loves Twilight and Dashie!!” “You don’t wanna scrap with me son! I got 99 problems, and bitch, you ain’t one!!” Steam spouted from Dash’s nostrils, “What the fuck?! Did you really just go there?!” “Pinkie Pie doesn’t want Twilight and Dashie to fight!!” Pinkie screamed out. “Twilight and Dashie are friends!!” “My name is T-Y. It’s not that hard to say!! What are you, retarded?!” “This has gotten out of hoof, Twilight!” Dash shouted, “Cut the shit!!” “I don’t have to do a damn thing you say, you punk ass bitch!!” Dash’s magenta eye twitched, “What…did…you…just…call…me?” Twilight gave her an arrogant smirk, “I said…you’re a punk ass bitch!!” “NOPONY CALLS ME A PUNK ASS BITCH!!” “I just did! And I’ll call you anything I want to!" Pinkie’s body trembled. Something bad was about to happen. “Like how you’re a bitch ass nig-” Pinkie jammed her hoof into Twilight’s mouth. “Don’t say that word!! We’re not supposed to!” Pinkie frantically looked around her, “She’ll be mad if you say it...” Twilight chomped down on Pinkie’s hoof, causing the pony to pull it out, “I’ll say whatever the fuck I wanna say!! Now, I learned if off of Urban Dictionary, and I’m gonna use it!!” Dash put a hoof to her lips, “My Gods…we’ve created a monster…” “You…are…a” Dash made a cross over her chest, “…bitch…ass….” Pinkie shook her head as Twilight inhaled, “Twilight, NO!!!” “NIIIIIIIGGGGG-" *** “AAAAAHHHH!!!!” Twilight jumped up with a start, heart pounded and sweat on her brow. She looked around at her surroundings. Pinkie and Dash were honed in on the TV, playing on the Playstation. “Pinkie…” “Yup?” “What happened?” Pinkie paused the game, “What are you talking about?” “How did I end up on the couch?” Dash chuckled, “Okay so get this; you were on Urban Dictionary, right? And you told us about how you heard about ‘Donkey Punch’, and that you wanted to know what it was.” “We tried to tell you not to bother with that, but you didn’t listen!!” Pinkie continued for the Pegasus. “So you looked it up, and ‘BAM’, the information overloaded your brain and you passed out on the floor!” Twilight rubbed her chin, “So I guess it was just a dream…” Dash arched a brow, “What was just a dream?” “Well, there was some word I was going to use, but Pinkie stopped me, and told me that ‘She’d be mad’ if I said it. I don’t even know who ‘She’ is.” The pink and cyan ponies leaned in. Dash leaned even closer, “So what was the word?” “It was ‘nig’-” Pinkie smashed her hoof to Twilight’s mouth, shaking her head vigorously, “Oh no no no. I know what you’re going to say. You can’t say that word, it’s not ‘Okie Dokie Lokie’!” Twilight removed the offending hoof from her mouth, “Why not though?” With a smile, the pink pony replied, “Because the writers will be upset!!” Steam spouted from Twilight’s ears, “WHO ARE THE WRITERS?!” “The ones who write what we say!!” “WHAT?!?!?!” Author's Note Man, it's been a little while since I've added a chapter. Caught up on a couple other stories, but I'm really excited to get back into this one!! Yes, the definitions used in this story are the actual definitions given by Urban Dictionary. I just made a slight change to do the use of...ponies...in this story. I DON'T OWN URBAN DICTIONARY NOR ANYTHING THEY SAY OR TYPE OR WHAT THE HELL EVER!! Copyright Infringement averted. :)
Chatroulette: Sometimes, You're Just Asking For It (Vinyl Scratch & Fluttershy)Everypony knew that Rainbow Dash was Fluttershy's best friend. They were practically sisters, seeing as how they grew up together. What everypony didn't know though, was that Vinyl Scratch was pretty close to the animal caretaker as well. Ever since Fluttershy took those assertiveness classes from Iron Will, she's had a thirst for it, and for some confidence as well. Unfortunately, it was also because of those same classes, that she was afraid to actually put her hoof forward and go through with it. She didn't want anypony to fear her, just respect her. And so, after getting to know Vinyl, she decided that she'd be the one she'd ask for help. The Unicorn had a way about her that made her outgoing and confident, without being completely narcissistic. "Alright 'Shy, I've got a fresh, new lesson for ya today." Vinyl announced. She trotted over to her computer and turned it on. "Today, we're going to work on you talking to other ponies, face-to-face." Fluttershy's ear folded against her head, "Oh dear....we only did 'Introductions' last week. Don't you think that...that's a bit of a leap?" Vinyl chuckled, "Well, I'm not going to throw you out in the middle of town square and make you talk to anypony." she pulled up two chairs with her magic, "You're going to talk to ponies face-to-face, but on the Internet!" Fluttershy tilted her head in confusion as she walked over to join Vinyl, "How are we going to do that?" "Ever heard of a website called 'Chatroulette'?" Fluttershy shook her head. "Basically, it's just a site that allows you to talk to ponies all over the world, via your internet, a mic, and a webcam." "So...how does this help?" "Because the thing is, you'll never know who you'll meet on here. The site randomly selects somepony, and connects you to them. It'll keep doing that too, everytime you click 'Next'. That way, you could technically say whatever you want to them!" the small smile she had on her face disappeared, "Remember though, just like you can say anything to them, they can say anything to you. I think it's a good way to get you started." Fluttershy smiled, "Thank you, Vinyl. You're such a good friend for helping me out with this." "No problem. It's what friends do. I'm going to get you out of your shell, if it's the last thing I do!" The computer finished whirring to life, and Vinyl typed in the site's URL. Within moments, the Chatroulette site appeared. Fluttershy got a worried look on her face, "Why are there all these warnings? Is something bad going to happen on this site?" Vinyl shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. That's just how the world works." she leaned forward and clicked the 'start' button. Their camera showed them in the little box, and Fluttershy cringed, “Oh…my…I look terrible.” Vinyl rolled her eyes, “’Shy, you look fine. Don’t even worry about that.” They didn’t wait much longer before a white Earth Pony mare appeared on the creen. She gave them a friendly smile as she brushed a strand of her black mane from her face. Vinyl returned the smile as she started to speak. “Hi there! The name’s Vinyl Scratch, and this is…” Vinyl lightly elbowed Fluttershy, who had already averted eye contact with the mare on the other side of the screen. Crimson flushed through her face as she looked back up, “I’m…Fluttershy…” The mare smiled, “My name’s Checkered Past, but everypony just calls me ‘Checkers’. Would you like to be friends?” A small smile appeared on Fluttershy’s face, “Um…sure…” “Cool! So…tell me a little bit about yourself.” Checkers asked. Fluttershy rubbed the back of her head, “Well….I’m an animal caretaker, and Vinyl here, she’s a DJ-” “Oh no, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean things like that about you.” Her friendly smile suddenly turned to one of creepiness, “I want your height, weight, blood type, home address, a cellphone number-” Fluttershy put a hoof to her lips in shock as Vinyl slammed her hoof onto the ‘Next’ button. The Unicorn looked over at her shy friend, “Okay then…like I said before, this thing can connect us to anypony…that also meant the weird ones like her. So, let’s try this again.” They waited a bit before another pony appeared on the screen. Another Earth Pony, but this time, a stallion. He appeared to be a bit older than them, looking like he was in the age range of early to mid-30s. “Hello there, my name is Stone Dust. Do you have a moment to talk about our Lady and Savior, Princess Celestia?” Before Fluttershy could politely decline, Vinyl hit ‘Next’. She turned and gave her an upset look, “Why did you do that, Vinyl?! That’s so rude!” “Please, you could tell he was a Jehoofvah’s Witness. He’s probably used to being cut off.” The screen displayed yet another pony. However, they were wearing a ghoul mask that would normally be worn on Nightmare Night. Fluttershy shrunk behind Vinyl as the pony stared at them and breathed heavily. Vinyl arched a brow, “Uh…dude, you know Nightmare Night’s not for like, another five months, right?” The only response was the steady, heavy breathing. Vinyl rubbed her head, “Okay…so…what’s your name?” Breathing. “Where do you live?” Breathing. “You got any hobbies?” Fluttershy leaned into her ear, “Why do you keep trying to talk to them? It doesn’t look like it’s working…” Suddenly, the pony leaned closer, until their amber colored iris and pupil took up the screen. The breathing got absurdly loud, as they finally decided to speak, “I’m your biggest fan…Fluttershy…” Vinyl guffawed while Fluttershy slammed the ‘Next’ button as quickly as she could. She looked up angrily at her friend, “It’s not funny! That was weird!!” “You think he’s a fan of your modeling work?” Vinyl asked between giggles. Fluttershy rubbed her temples, “I knew back then that I shouldn’t have let Rarity drag me into that…” Before the two had time to recover, somepony else was on the screen. It was male zebra that was seated beside a female griffin with light blue feathers. The griffin screeched out, “OMIGOSH IT’S DJ PON-3 AND THE MODEL FLUTTERSHY!! I’M YOUR BIGGEST FAN!!!” Before Vinyl could reply, Fluttershy smacked the ‘Next’ button again. “Fluttershy, what the hell was that for?!” Vinyl questioned angrily, “You can’t just shut down a fan like that!” Fluttershy tilted her head in confusion, “How was she any different than the one we talked to before?” “Uh, because she’s a chick? They always act crazy about idols they like! She liked you because you’re hot-,” “Um...t-thank y-” “And she liked me because I’m a famous DJ! Stuff like shooting down a fan before they even get to speak affects my publicity, dude. Not cool.” Fluttershy arched a brow, “I thought you didn’t normally care what anypony thought about you?” “I still have bills to pay. I mean, Tavi makes plenty of money with her concerts, but let’s face it, EVERYPONY LIKES DUBSTEP MORE THAN CLASSICAL MUSIC!!!” “Shut up, Vinyl!!” Octavia screamed from the living room. “If it isn’t the caretaker and the DJ! Strange that I’d bump into you two this way!” Vinyl and Fluttershy turned to see Zecora on the screen. Vinyl arched a brow, “I didn’t know Witch Doctors had computers.” Zecora chuckled, “Even in my home, there’s a bit of technology. I search the web to help with my alchemy.” “Then why are you on this site?” “Apparently I’m not that approachable, so only on the web am I allowed to be sociable.” “Well, I’m glad to see a familiar face on here!” Fluttershy exclaimed. “And it’s for that reason we’ll have to catch you later, Witch Doctor!!” Vinyl stated before before clicking ‘Next’. “Why’d did we stop talking to her? I can actually hold a conversation very well with her!” “It’s like I said, you know her. That’s why you can talk to her so easily. The goal is to have you be able to talk to anypony, so we can’t sit here and chit chat with ponies…or zebras that we know. Save that for the strangers.” The screen popped up with two young Pegasi colts and a Zebra colt. They all had goofy looks on their faces. “SHOW US YOUR TITS!!” Vinyl rolled her eyes and grumbled as she clicked ‘Next’, “Immature little fuck wads…” What popped up next made Fluttershy and Vinyl’s eyes go wide. Their mouths dropped as sloppy, wet sounds and labored breathing rang into their ears. Octavia rounded the corner into the room, “Vinyl, have you seen my-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Vinyl spun around while Fluttershy continued to stare on in horror, “Babe, it’s not what you think!-” “I already told you not to watch porn on MY computer! If you want to watch that garbage, then use your own damn laptop and risk getting viruses on it, not my stuff!!” “Yes ma’am, but-” “NOW!!!!!” Vinyl spun back around and shut Chatroulette down. Octavia let out a snort before trotting out of the room, grumbling as she did so. She quickly popped her head back through the door frame, “And ‘clopping’? Really? You chose that? I can understand if you’d watch mares having sex, but you chose to watch some idiot jerk his meat off! What, am I not good enough to keep you satisfied?” The blush on Fluttershy’s cheeks now spread to her whole face as Vinyl rolled her eyes, “Octavia, please, can we not discuss this in front of our guest?” The cellist let out a huff, “Fine, but we’re definitely going to have this talk.” She shut the door behind her as Fluttershy moved both of her hooves to cover her mouth. Vinyl looked over at her, “Alright…maybe we should’ve just taken you out into town. It probably would’ve ended better than this.” When she got no response from the Pegasus, she waved a hoof in front of her face, “Uh…Shy? You alright??” “You…you didn’t you see it?” “See what?” “His…cutie mark…” “Uh…so? What of it?” “Um…well…" Fluttershy's face was flustered and hot enough to cook a meal on, "T-that was...Big Mac's cutie mark..."
Slender Man(e): When You Feel Like Scaring Yourself. (Rarity, Sweetie Belle, & Scootaloo)“So….all I have to do, is find eight pages?” Rarity questioned, as she looked back and forth between her younger sister, and her Pegasus friend. “Yup! That’s it!!” Sweetie replied, mischief laced into her smile. Rarity arched a perfectly tweezed brow, but said nothing. The two Cutie Mark Crusaders had matured considerably in the past few years, but that didn’t mean that all of their mischievous behavior had died down. The smiles that Scootaloo and Sweetie were giving her, were proof of that. Scootaloo and Sweetie had grown pretty close, especially since Apple Bloom had decided to go and train under the tutelage of Zecora. In fact, Rarity had gotten used to setting three plates at the dinner table instead of two. She was beginning to see Scootaloo as a sister to her, and had no problem having the Pegasus over when she wasn’t at Rainbow’s house. However, that snarky grin on their faces was making her regret taking that young mare in. “So…are you gonna start the game or what?” Scootaloo asked, her grin not faltering in the slightest. Rarity let out a defeated sigh. It’s not that she didn’t like playing games with them. She had in fact, grown to love them, thanks to Scootaloo actually teaching her how to play, depending on what they were playing. But the fact that the two younger mares hadn’t stopped smiling, and Scootaloo didn’t give her too many details about this game, made her a bit uneasy. But, the game seemed simple enough; Find eight pieces of paper, and don’t die. How those two intermingled in this game, she didn’t know. But she was going to soon find out. She clicked start, and the screen lit up to a first-pony scene of what looked like a forest. As least, that was what she could tell from it’s simplistic graphics. She looked in a few directions, taking note that it appeared that she was using a flash light in the game to see. The sound of chirping crickets echoed into her screen. She took a couple practice steps forward, to make sure she had a good understanding of the controls. Once she did, she started to complete her task. For almost ten minutes, there was nothing but the sound of crunching leaves and chirping crickets. The scenery hadn’t changed much either. No matter what direction she headed off to, there seemed to be nothing but low graphic grass and trees. “Well…this is fun.” She stated sarcastically. “Just keep playing.” Scootaloo urged her on. She continued on, aimlessly wandering the map. Luckily, it wasn’t too long before she came upon a brick building, with a door-less opening leading inside. “Finally! A change of scenery.” Rarity pointed out, as she walked inside of the building. “Oh my…whoever decorated this place really didn’t know what they were doing.” She pointed out as she wandered through the rooms. “I really hope that this used to be a showering facility or something, because the tiles that were used are simply dreadful. Too plain, too simple. They give the color ‘white’ a bad name. And why is the only furniture in this room a chair? Don’t you two find that a bit odd? It looks totally out of place in-“ she let out a gasp, as her flashlight shined on a lone, sheet of worn paper, stuck on the wall. “WA-HA-HAAA!!!” She quickly grabbed the paper, “This is going to be easy!-” She stopped, noticing that something about the game had changed. The digital world was no longer silent. A steady, creepy drum, began to beat in the background. “Why did-what’s going on?” Rarity questioned. “Where did that drum come from?” Scootaloo let out a tiny giggle. Sweetie snickered and shifted her gaze to her older sister, “Rarity, you might want to get out of there.” Rarity immediately obeyed her sister. It was a good thing she had paid attention to the minute details in the building as she was criticizing it. It made it easy for her to find her way out. She got back into the blackness of the forest. The drum was still beating, steady and strong, welcoming whatever was to come. She searched for the next sheet to find. Her flashlight was steadied on a dirt path. There was suddenly a sharp sound, and the first-pony camera turned on it’s own to the left. Rarity’s eyes went wide as the camera honed in on a unnaturally tall pony, standing on it’s slender, lanky, hind legs. It’s abnormally long forelegs hung lazily to it’s sides. It was wearing a black business suit, with a white undershirt and a black tie. It’s coat was a paler shade of white than Rarity or Sweetie’s fur. Tentacles writhed and thrashed about from it’s back, but the thing that disturbed Rarity most of all, was the fact that it’s face was expressionless. And by expressionless, it had no face period. Rarity let out a sharp, quick shriek, as the image started to fizzle out, and static poured from the speakers. “What do I do?!” “Get away from him!!” Scootaloo answered through her laughter. Rarity turned the character away from him, and moved off into a direction as quickly as she could. The image started to clear up, and the static faded away. Rarity kept moving forward, her heart pounding in her chest. She looked over at the laughing mares with shock in her eyes, “What the hell was that thing?!” The fashionista quickly grew flustered, as neither was able to control their laughter long enough to form an answer. She let out an angry huff, “Well fine!!” she stared at the screen with newly found determination. “I don’t need you two anyway!!” She pressed on, wandering through the forest to find the other pages. She scooped up one more. Five minutes later, she grabbed another. Scootaloo and Sweetie had amused smiles on their faces. They had to admit, Rarity was doing pretty good. They figured she would've dismissed the game and stopped playing before she had another heart attack. Another loud noise burst through the speakers. The camera turned on that vile creature. Rarity let out another surprised scream. “NononononoOHNO!!!” It didn’t take her more than once to get the drill. The character conducted a fantastically quick 180, and once again, got the hell away from that thing. She threw a quick glance to her giggling sister, “Are either one of you going to tell me what that thing is, now?!” “That’s Slender Mane! He’s trying to kill you!!” Scootaloo replied. “Well, thank you for pointing out the obvious!” Rarity spat back, getting more irritated as the young orange mare fell into a fit of giggles. “He doesn’t want you to get all eight pages, because then you’d know about him, and will have the opportunity to get away from him.” Sweetie gave a more detailed answer. “So it’s really simple, sis! Don’t get killed by Slender Mane!!” As Sweetie was explaining what was going on, Rarity had found the fourth page, “Oh my Gods, I’m going to beat this!!” Rarity squealed out. She slightly bit down on her lower lip, as her determination reached new peaks. Slender Mane popped up again and again, getting ever closer to her character. And granted, monster still made her jump every single time he appeared, but she carried on. After almost a half hour of wandering, six pages found, and about 20 jump scares later, she was walking towards the seventh page. “Why in the wide world of Equis, is the damn character moving so slow?!” Rarity stated with exasperation. “You figured with a towering monster following you around, you’d be galloping to get away from it! And another thing! What sane pony wanders around a forest in the middle of the night by themselves?! And why would you be looking for scraps of paper?! Go find materials to make a shelter, a fire, ANYTHING that could be productive to your survival!” Scootaloo and Sweetie giggled as they listened to Rarity’s rant. The mare no longer seemed to be scared, but more irritated by the lack of common sense on the character’s part. And it wasn’t until she walked up on the stand-alone, massive tree, that she realized she had already been there. She let out a groan of frustration. “Ugh…this is getting stupid. I found the other pages, why is it so hard to find this one?” Scootaloo shrugged. “I dunno, but I know you can do it. Sweets and I never even got this far into the game…” “Oh well…I have no choice but to conduct another walkthrough. A much, much more thorough one.” She started to turn. But the drums seemed to beat louder this time. All three mares slightly leaned towards the screen, ears perked and eyes wide. “What…what was that?” Sweetie asked softly, as if they ABSOLUTELY needed to hear the gameplay. The sound of the inevitable jump scare roared through the speakers. The camera whirled around. Slender Mane was towering over the character. The static reached a near deafening pitch, and a scream could be faintly heard in the mix of it all, as the camera zoomed in on his faceless head. The screen then went to static, and finally black. There was a few moments of deathly quiet, before the game’s start screen reappeared. The mouse however, did not move, as Rarity was too busy clinging onto Scootaloo in fear. Scootaloo helplessly flapped a wing, attempting to remove herself from Rarity’s grasp. “Rares…let go!” Rarity realized what she was doing, and shoved Scootaloo away from her before crossing her forelegs, “That game was absolutely dreadful!” Sweetie smile, her evil grin returning full force, “But…you were scared…” Rarity childishly stuck her tongue out, earning giggles from the other two ponies. Her angry façade melted as she joined in on the giggling. “Fair enough, the game was simple yet hard at the same time, and had a pretty good scare tactic for it. I liked it.” she rubbed her eyes with a hoof and glanced over at a clock on the wall, “Wow, it’s incredibly late…we should be turning in for the night.” The mare rose to her hooves and started to make her way towards the stairs. Scootaloo groaned, “I don’t really want to…” Rarity glanced over her shoulder, “You’re quite old enough to make your own decisions. You can stay up for however long you like. But, don’t complain to me in the morning when you either oversleep, and miss breakfast, or miss your courses at the Wonderbolts Academy.” Scootaloo let out a tiny sigh. Rarity was right, she needed to be able to get tomorrow’s lessons if she wanted to pass her upcoming test. She rose up and stretched, muscles slightly tingling after not moving for so long. She started to walk towards Rarity, with Sweetie in tow. A gasp came from the mare behind her, earning her attention, and Rarity’s. “What is it, darling?” Rarity quipped. Sweetie’s lip quivered, as she raised a shaky hoof and pointed a window to her right. Rarity and Scootaloo followed it. Outside, the silhouette of a tall pony, with eerily long limbs stared at them from outside. The mares shrieked and made a mad dash for the stairs, all galloping into Rarity’s room and slamming the door behind them. -MLP- “And it was the freakiest thing we’d ever seen!!” Scootaloo shouted as she flailed her hooves wildly in the air. Fluttershy had listened intently to the younger Pegasus’ story. The orange mare had come over to pick up Tank for Dash, but when Fluttershy saw the panicky look on her face, she couldn’t help but show concern for the mare. “Are you sure it wasn’t a tree?” Fluttershy softly asked. “Yes…I’m sure it wasn’t a tree.” The animal caretaker tapped her chin thoughtfully. Suddenly, a stern look crossed her face. She looked over her shoulder and up the staircase, “DISCORD!!!” It only took a few seconds for the draconequus to appear beside her. He had a friendly smile on his face as he got eye level with her, “Yes, my dearest friend, Fluttershy?” “What did you do yesterday?” Discord tapped his chin, “Well…after causing a bit of friendly chaos for April Foal’s day, I headed to the Carousel Boutique to pick up the sweater you requested for Devil Rabbit-” “You mean ‘Angel Bunny’.” Fluttershy interrupted. “Right, that’s what I meant.” Discord replied with a bit of sarcasm before continuing. “But it was locked.” “Why didn’t you just...I dunno, ‘poof’ in?” Scootaloo questioned. “You are the master of chaos and a deity.” “Because our favorite little caretaker here, told me that it’s rude to enter ponies’ homes without permission." He replied curtly. “Anyway…I decided to go up to one of the windows, and noticed you, Rarity all enjoying a friendly game of ‘Slender Mane’! And, I’m sorry, but I simply could not refrain myself from scaring you three. So I threw a teeny, tiny little rock at the window, and transformed before Sweetie fully turned to look outside. So…well,” he shrugged his shoulders and grinned, “Well, everything that followed just happened!” Fluttershy shook her head disapprovingly, “Discord…that wasn’t very nice, you know…” “Yeah! It’s enough that you had to scare us, but did you have to stand there for so long after we got into Rarity’s room?! That was just taking it too far!!” Discord’s grin immediately disappeared, and his brow arched in confusion, “I’m sorry, what?” Scootaloo mirrored him, her voice now laced with confusion, “The…when…when we all made it to Rarity’s room, she peeked outside, and Slender Mane was standing just barely outside of the street light’s reach, looking up at our window. We took turns watching him, and it lasted for like, and hour and a half…” her sentence died out as she stopped. Discord shook his head and crossed his mix-matched arms, “Now, I may be a King of Chaos, but I’m reformed! I’m not lying when I say I didn’t do that, and I’m not going to take the blame for something I didn’t do.” A tiny smirk fell onto his lips, “Although, that would’ve been a great idea. Why didn’t I think of that?” Scootaloo’s face went from confusion to utter fear. A deep, sickening feeling hit sat in her chest, “If it wasn’t you…then…who, or what was it?!”
Gizoogle: My Little Gangsta; Thugness is Magic (Mane 6 & Discord)Author's Note If you don't know what Gizoogle is, I'm just gonna say this; There is ALOT of cursing in this. I mean, oh my god, so much cursing. If you can't handle cursing, or purposely placed improper grammar, then ~~you've come to the wrong neighborhood motherfucker~~ this chapter is not for you. I'm serious. I mean, I ran most of the dialogue through the website, and this is what it gave me back. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. Gizoogle: My Little Gangsta; Thugness is Magic (Mane 6 & Discord) “Please?” “Nuh-uh” “B-but…why not?” “Ah don’t want nothin’ tah do with yer freaky lil’ experiments, Twi. They’re always weird.” “As much as I am for the ‘chic’ and ‘magnifique’, I must admit that Applejack’s twang and country euphemisms are a delightful treat.” Rarity stated. Twilight let out a sigh and flopped out onto the floor, “But, Applejack, you’re the only one that this would be the most effective on…” “Why? Ah’m not the only one with an accent. Rarity’s got a perfectly good Manehattan accent fer ya tah mess with.” Dash, who had stayed out of it up until this point, decided to take a crack at the farm pony, “Applejack, you don’t have an accent, you have a speech impediment.” Applejack let out a dry chuckle, before landing a well-aimed punch at the Pegasus ribcage. A smile spread on Dashie’s face as she fell to the floor, “Worth it…” “So what is the experiment, if you don’t mind me asking…” Fluttershy quipped, as she helped a slightly wheezing Rainbow Dash to her hooves. Twilight hopped up to her hooves, “Oh, it’s quite simple! The device created has been designed to alter the vibrations our vocal chords produce. You see, within each language, the vibrations variate based upon the pitch and tone of the word being said. With this device, I will change the way you sound, and the voice of whoever you’re talking to, so that both of you will be speaking the same language.” Applejack crossed her forelegs, “So, why does it have tah be me?” Twilight shot her a friendly smile, “Because you are the most applicable candidate for this experiment.” “Okay, but why? There are five other ponies here with workin’ voice boxes.” “True…but, they don’t function properly.” Twilight replied. “Rainbow’s vocal chords are badly damaged beyond repair. It’s evidenced by the cracking and raspiness of her voice when she talks.” “Oh, is that what that is?” Applejack smirked. “Ah just thought Dash was finishin’ puberty an’ finally becomin’ a big, strong stallion.” Dash leered at Applejack, before grabbing a nearby book and chucking it at her. The corner smacked her snout with a hard thud, and through the few tears that welled up, she smiled. “What, yer colt hormones all outta whack?” “Anyways,” Twilight continued loudly. “Rarity’s vocal chords are damaged from her…squeals and screams of the ‘drama and excitement’ she goes through on a daily basis. Although, they aren’t as bad as Rainbow’s.” she looked over at Fluttershy, “Fluttershy’s vocal chords are a bit smaller, and somewhat delicate due to her continuously maintaining a soft voice. She could yell and scream, we’ve all seen that, but it puts a terrible strain on her vocal chords. Any volume that’s louder than how she normally sounds could cause serious damage. Depending on the language, we don’t know how much strain we’ll cause. ” Her gaze turned to Pinkie, and her expression turned into a hesitant one. The others looked over at Pinkie, who gave them all a beaming smile, “Pinkie…uh, tends to ignore the laws of physics. More than likely, the results from her won’t be accurate.” “So then…” Applejack rubbed her chin, “The only other pony ya can experiment on here, is-” “Myself.” Twilight finished. “Yes, you and I will be conducting the experiment.” She reached over pushed a few buttons on the massive control panel, “Now, the machine is starting to power up. Once it’s fully charged, it will switch to voice control.” “But…if you’re using a completely different language, how’s the machine gonna understand you?” Dash questioned. “Everypony’s voice has a set vocal baseline, that is distinct from one another.” Twilight replied. “My baseline is already registered in the system, so it’ll recognize my voice no matter what language I’m speaking.” She started to trot away from it, “Follow me. The testing platform is right over here.” The group followed Twilight and Applejack to a small platform, that had a slender, silver spires at each corner. As they started to step onto it, a certain being of chaos slithered into their plane of existence, “Well hello my lovely little ponies!” Discord greeted as he hovered over to Twilight and Applejack, “What sort of splendid situation are you getting yourself into today?” “Nothin’, now go away.” Applejack stated as she made a shooing motion with her hooves. Discord ignored her and hovered over to the machine that was connected to the platform. “Ooh, what do we have here? Is this a multilingual vocal baseline translator?” Twilight’s jaw slacked, “What? Wait, how do you kno-” “Oh wow, it has a dual water cooling system! And a uranium power cell!” he glanced over at Twilight and gave her a crooked smile, “My my, how ever did you managed to get your hooves on one of these? I only recollect that they’re sold at the black mar-” “Shut up, Discord!” Twilight snapped. “It’s none of your business! And how do you know any of this stuff anyway?” “Yeah, Twilight’s got a point. You don’t really come off as the ‘egghead’ type.” Dash added. “I’ve been around for eons my dears. As much as I like to spend my time spreading chaos, I felt the need to…diverse my expertise.” He chuckled, “Actually, I just wanted to learn how science explained things and how they worked, before I completely messed it up.” He looked back at the machine’s screen, “Ah! You have wi-fi! Excellent! Have you ever heard of a website called ‘Gizoogle’? It’s a site that works as a translator as well, though it only translates into ‘slang’.” “You mean ‘zebronics’?” Rarity questioned. Dash shot her a look, “Wow, no, you tribalist.” “I-I’m not a tribalist!” Twilight tilted her head, “Rarity, it’s 2016…what’s wrong with you?” “I’m telling you, I’m not a tribalist!” Twilight realized Discord was suddenly being too quiet and looked over her shoulder. Her eyes went wide, “Discord, don’t push that button!!” She teleported to the other side of the room, tackling the draconequus. They both crashed into the machine, slamming into various levers and buttons on it. It sparked and crackled with arcing bolts of electricity, before pulsing off waves of language altering radiation. They all hit the walls of the lab, knocking over books and beakers. A deep hum thrummed through all of them, before fading into silence. They let out groans of pain and discomfort, before rising to their hooves. “Ugh…is everpony aiiiight?” Twilight asked, before slapping a hoof over her mouth. The others looked at her, eyes wide with surprise. “What’s wack wit yo’ voice?” Rarity questioned, before mirroring Twilight’s actions. Dash belted out a laugh, “Yo ass sounds shitty!” “We all sound like thugs!” Pinkie squealed, before happily clacking her hooves together. She bounced around the room, and accidentally stepped on Discord’s reptilian foot. It let out a yelp and leered down at the Earth Pony, “Yo, be mo’ mindful of yo’ surroundings!” he shouted, before clamping his mouth shut. Twilight trotted over to the machine, “My fuckin’ machine…it’s straight-up busted.” she looked up at him, “This be all yo’ fault!!” Discord put his taloned hand to his chest, “My fuckin’ fault? Yo ass have me mistaken, Princess. This was our fault.” He looked over at the machine, “If you had just let me do what the fuck I wanted ta do, tha effectz of it could have easily been reversed. Ya’ll KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Now, we’re all stuck soundin’ like this!” They stared each other down for a few seconds, before Discord broke out into a fit of giggles. “Oh, whoz ass I kiddin’, biatch? We not all stuck like this, ya’ll.” Applejack’s eyes lit up, “Therez a way ta fix this?” “Oh shiiiiiiiit, not dat I know of fo realz. All I holla’d, is dat we aren’t stuck like dis ya’ll.” He curled his paw into a fist and gave his chest a few thumps, coughing and sputtering a few times. “There we go!” he grinned at them, “All better. Now, I’ll leave your girls to your little ‘friendship’ problem.” “Friendshizzle problem?!” Twilight screamed. “This thang ain’t a problem! This is science gone awry!” “Messed up science, friendship problem, it’s all the same thing to me.” Discord gave them a quick wave, “Too-da-loo!!” With an audible poof, he vanished, leaving behind six mares who were in varying degrees of anger and confusion. Rarity rubbed her temples, “So…what tha fuck happens now?” Twilight sighed as she dragged a hoof over the broken control panel, “I be bout ta git started on fixin’ dis thang. Unfortunately, I don’t know how tha fuck long it’s goin ta take me ta finish dat shit.” “I be goin’ ta git up in contact wit Discord.” Fluttershy declared. “I be bout ta make shizzle dat schmoooove muthafucka helps you git our asses outta dis mess.” “I straight-up appreciate dat shit.” Twilight replied in a tired tone. “Go rap ta Spike yo. Dude can write tha letta n' bust it directly ta Discord.” “Discordz gots a phone. Just call his muthafuckin' ass.” Applejack stated. Twilight looked at her in disbelief, “Is you crazy, biatch? Do you know how tha fuck much minutes cost when you tryin ta booty-call somepony up in another county, much less another dimension, biatch? Even if I wanted ta spend dat kind of bits, My fuckin' company ain't dat pimped out.” she looked around at the others, “For tha rest of ya’ll hoes… just bounce back ta tha doggy den. Whenever she gets his cooperation, I’ll notify ya’ll.” The others nodded and mumbles of agreement before heading home. “Well…I can’t just sit locked up in mah room.” Applejack grumbled. “I’ve gots work ta do on the farm.” “I believe we all have work ta do yo, but Twilight specifically holla'd we should bounce back ta tha doggy den.” Rarity replied. “C’mon we’ve dealt wit’ worse than this!” Pinkie chirped. “I’ve gots baked loot ta push n' joy ta spread, n' I’m not goin ta let dis stop me!” she bounced away back to Sugarcube Corner. “Pinks is right, we can’t let dis just end our everyday tasks. We’ve gots shiznit ta do.” Dash’s wing snapped open. “I’ll peep you hoes later n' shit. There’s a Wonderbolts meetin' dat I’ve gots ta git to. Peace!” With that, she kicked off the ground and shot into the sky, leaving a prismatic trail behind her. Applejack shrugged and wordlessly headed down the street, leaving Rarity alone. “I just don’t peep dis endin’ well…” Rarity muttered to herself, before slowly heading back to the Carousel Boutique. -MLP- The door to Sugarcube Corner opened with the chime of the bell above it. Pinkie looked around to see that for now, the store was near empty, save for Octavia and Vinyl, who were enjoying a couple slices of cake. Vinyl looked up and gave her a wave. Pinkie smiled, “Yo Vinyl and Octy, how tha fuck is yo slick ass?” Pinkie slapped a hoof over her mouth. Octavia’s jaw went slack, while Vinyl had a huge smile morph onto her face. “Alright, they finally stopped making this place so focused on the kiddies!” she exclaimed. “Does this mean you guys might start opening up to let DJs play?” Pinkie shook her head, “Fuck that shit. Da Cakes wanna keep dis a funky-ass bakery, not a cold-ass lil’ club.” “Pinkie Pie!” Cupcake screamed as she rounded the corner. “You know better than to bring that filthy language into my bakery!” “Mrs. Cake, I can’t help what tha fuck comes outta mah grill right now! Twiligh-” “That’s enough out of you!” she looked over to the mares at the table, “I’m terribly sorry about that, ladies. I’ll see to it that it won’t happen again.” “Please do.” Octavia replied. “If I wanted to go an establishment like that, I would simply go see Vinyl when she’s working.” Vinyl threw her hooves up in defense, “Whoa there, why don’t you pull those punches a little bit. Mad harsh….geez.” she looked over at Cupcake, “Anyway, just don’t fire her or something…” “Of course not. She’s one of the best bakers I’ve ever had working for me.” She sized Pinkie up, “Come with me. I’ve got something for you to do as punishment.” Pinkie’s ear drooped and her gaze dropped to the ground. She trudged behind Cupcake as the older mare led her through the back door. She looked around, “What is our phat asses bustin’ up in here?” Cupcake shook her head, “Even now, you can’t seem to reign in that cursing.” She reached into the small shed next to the building. “So you’re going to sit here and think of why you think it’s okay to talk like that.” She pulled out a paint bucket, and a brush. Pinkie’s eyes went wide, “Oh, not tha Paint Punishment!!” Cupcake nodded, “Yes ma’am, the Paint Punishment.” She popped the top to the paint and dipped the brush into it, making sure to cover it in a thick, heavy coat. She walked over to a spot on the wall where the coat was much thicker than anywhere else on the building. She slowly dragged the brush across, leaving a glistening fresh streak on the wall. “The sun has yet to hit this side of the building.” Cupcake pointed out. “So the paint shouldn’t dry for a while. That’ll give you plenty of time to think about it.” she looked over at Pinkie. “Is there anything you’d like to say before I leave” “I be straight-up sorry about dat bullshit.” As soon as the sentence left Pinkie’s mouth, she slapped both hooves over it. Cupcake’s face curled in digust, “I can’t believe you, Pinkamina. I’m very disappointed in you.” She turned and headed back inside, leaving Pinkie to her thoughts. She let out a sigh and focused on the wall. Knowing that she physically couldn’t stop cursing, she thought of other things instead. -MLP- “-And that’s why I can’t stop talking like this.” Spitfire read the note Dash gave to her out loud. She had called her in after the Pegasus decided to voice her opinion about a particular move, only to have an insanely hard time understanding her when she tried to explain herself. “So…until Princess Twilight fixes her machine…you’re stuck talking like that?” Dash nodded. Spitfire ran a hoof through her mane, “Okay, so maybe you shouldn’t talk about the stunts for a while.” “I can straight-up do dat, son! I won’t rap ‘bout tha thangs I don’t like.” Spitfire raised a brow, “Riiiiight…” she reached onto her desk and grabbed a clipboard, “Alright, so you and Surprise are going to fly a few of the laps. You two weren’t here the last two rehearsals, so I need you two to catch up, you got it?” “Yes yes y'all, ma'am, I be bout ta git right on dat shiznit son!” Spitfire snorted at the offending reply, but said nothing as Dash took off to the training grounds. Within a couple minutes, Dash found Surprise already waiting for her. The white Pegasus looked up and waved and Dash landed beside her, “Hey Dashie! How’s the potty mouth thing working for you?” Dash’s eyes narrowed. “Wait a minute, you weren't here dis morning. Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck holla'd at yo slick ass?!” Surprise giggled. “Nopony told me. It’s just the Surprise Sense.” “Really, biatch? I thought dat shiznit was just Pinkiez immediate crew dat had dat trait. Right back up in yo muthafuckin' ass.” “Nope, ‘The Sense’ runs through the whole family, cousins and all. Uncle Igneous and Auntie Cloudy have it, though they don’t want to admit it.” “Thatz pretty phat.” “Yeah, it is. I mean, it kind of sucks when I get twitchy wings or wobbly knees in mid-flight, because it throws me off. Other than that though, it doesn’t bother me.” She flapped her wings a few times and hovered above the ground and pulled her goggles over her eyes, “You ready to get started? We got a lot to catch up on.” Dash nodded and mirrored her actions, “Letz git ta dat shiznit son!” Surprise took off through the first loop with Dash in tow. They zipped through and snapped their wings open, letting themselves begin a free fall. “Okay, so the dive is supposed to last 15 seconds, and then we start a 20 second tight spiral, before breaking into a manepin turn back up!!” Surprise shouted before starting the technique. “Wait, what da fuck was dat last part?!” Dash screamed back, which was lost on the rush of air. She then gave a miniscule shrug, figuring that she’d just catch on to whatever Surprise was doing. She followed through the motions, pulling her wings tight to her body as she fell into a tight spiral. Only a few hooves behind, Surprise snapped her wings open, and Dash’s eyes went wide. Before she could even let out a sound of shock, she slammed into the other Wonderbolt, the full force of her weight snapping the hollow bones of Surprise’s wing like a twig. She let out a sharp yelp of pain, before slipping into unconsciousness, and beginning a wild tumble from the sky. Dash outstretched her hooves, “Hang on, Surprise biaaatch! I gots you, nahmean biiiatch?!” -MLP- “Dammit Big Mac, are you rockin' Applez Bloomz laptop fo' porn again?!” Applejack shouted as she stormed into Big Mac’s room with the laptop on her back. “Eeynope.” She opened it and pointed at the screen. “Big Mac, there be five tabs open wit not a god damn thang but porn.” “Maybe she opened ‘em.” “Dat hoe not even home, biaaatch! Quit lying!” Big Mac’s brow furrowed, “Ya shouldn’t be talkin’ about our sister like that! It ain’t right!” “I already holla'd at you, Twilightz machine is makin' me sound like this!” “Then maybe ya shouldn’t talk at all.” “And maybe you should stop watchin' porn on Applez Bloomz laptop n' loot yo' own!” “Loot mah own? Ah don’t know what that means.” “It means stop rockin' Applez Bloomz laptop fo' yo' urges!” A prismatic ring of light burst forth from the sky and caught Applejack’s attention. It was trailed by the roar of the sound barrier being broken. “That might be Dash lettin' our asses know Twilight fixed tha machine.” Applejack stated. “I be bout ta peep you lata n' shit. I be goin' ta go n' swing by Rarityz place.” She turned and dipped out of the room, and Big Mac stared at the door for a few more seconds. Once he heard the front door downstairs open and shut, he slowly reached for the laptop. -MLP- “Why did you have Spike mail me that letter?” Discord questioned. “You could’ve just used the whistle to call me.” “That don't matta up in dis biatch, Discord.” Fluttershy replied. “Yo ass need ta come back n' help Twilight fix tha machine.” Discord chuckled, “Twilight is a very smart mare. She’ll have no problem fixing it on her own.” “Yo ass is right...but dat don't mean itz easy as fuck. Yo ass touched sumthin' dat didn't belong ta you, n' then you broke dat shit. Yo ass even holla'd dat dat shiznit was both yo' faults.” Discord’s smile fell, and he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. Fluttershy took this as a sign to continue. “That means you need ta help her n' shit. Yo ass called dis a problem, right?” Discord shrugged his shoulders, “I called this a friendship problem? I can’t really say I recall…” “Discord!” “Alright, yes, I remember saying that!” “Then you need ta be a phat playa, n' help yo' other playaz out. Right back up in yo muthafuckin' ass. Biatch needz you, Discord. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I need you, biatch. We all do.” Discord rolled his eyes and let out a sigh, “You’re not really being fair, throwing all those things back at me like this.” Fluttershy giggled and gave him a soft smile, “Don’t hate tha playa, hate tha game.” -MLP- Applejack walked into Rarity’s boutique, and noticed that there was some fashion wear that even she knew didn’t belong in here. Rarity looked over at her as she stepped away from a ponnequin, “I didn't expect you ta leave tha farm. Did yo dirty ass happen ta hear from Twilight?” “Fuck dat shiznit yo, but I saw tha Rainboom n' figured dat shiznit was Dash tryin' ta git our attention...” she looked around at the baggy pants and long white tees, “So...did you decizzle ta go up in a gangbangin' hoof-lickin' different direction wit yo' threadz line?” Rarity levitated a few hats onto a rack. “Not exactly, I just decided ta diversify mah dirty ass. Da hip-hop industry be a cold-ass lil' straight-up different ghetto, n' I be goin' ta explore tha fashizzle aspect of dat shiznit son!” The bell above the door jingled, and Rarity greeted her patrons with a smile, “Yo, wuz crackalackin', biatch? Yo ass is smokin' Carousel Boutique; where every last muthafuckin' garment is chic, unique, n' magnifique!” Applejack’s eyes boggled at the customers. Two identical grey Earth Pony stallions donning a green and gold lined jumpsuits looked around the establishment. One of them cracked a smile, his gold covered teeth glinting in the store lights. “I didn’t expect a new urban clothing store to look like this…but this place is pretty tight!” the one that spoke looked between the two mares, “I heard that an ever-so-clever Element of Generosity ran this joint.” He focused on Rarity, “Is that you?” “That would be mah dirty ass.” Rarity replied as she outstretched a hoof, “And what tha fuck is yo' name?” “Ice Tea.” The stallion replied. “And this is my brother Three Square,” “Wazzup.” “And we form the rap duo known as Ice Cubed.” Ice finished. “We’re tryna find something that’ll reinvent our image. Something that’ll match our sick lyrics and even sicker beats.” Three stepped around his brother, “What you got?” “I've gots some fabulous pinstripe suits dat you might like. Believe it or not, ponies dressed ta tha nines can be incredibly thugged-out, as well mad urban.” Ice rubbed his chin thoughtfully, “You got a point…” he looked over at Three, “Whatcha think homie?” Three shrugged, “Whateva. I’m down for the shit.” Ice grinned and turned back to Rarity, “Alright Rarity, do yo thang.” “I'd be mo' than aiiight to!” Rarity’s phone chirped out a jingle, and she checked the screen, “It ain't nuthin' but Twilight. Maybe she gots tha machine fixed.” She magically pushed the answer button, making sure it was on speaker. “Yo muthafucka, Twilight. Were you successful up in fixin' yo' lil device?” “Fuck dat shiznit yo, but Fluttershy was able ta brang Discord back here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Well shiiiit, it shouldn't be too much longer wit his help. As a matta of fact, you hoes can go ahead n' start headin' back here.” “Excellent, then we'll be on our way. Right back up in yo muthafuckin' ass. See you when we git there!” “Peace out.” “Well, you heard tha Princess. Letz go back n' git ourselves turned back ta normal.” Applejack stated. “But...I have hustlas. I can't just up n' leave dem wild-ass muthafuckas.” Rarity replied softly. Ice chuckled, “You’re part of Princess Twilight’s crew. If she needs you, you have to go.” “Besides, you need to fix whatever is wrong with you two.” Three pointed out. Rarity smiled gratefully, “I straight-up appreciate yo' understanding. Will you able ta come back within a cold-ass lil' couple hours?” “Of course.” Ice answered. “We’ll be chillin’ here in P-ville for a few days, so don’t rush.” They all left the Boutique and parted ways. The two mares headed down the road, and Applejack rubbed her chin, “Wait, Dash still made dat Rainboom fo' some reason. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. We should call her n' peep where she is.” Rarity pulled her phone back out and dialed Dash’s number. It only took a few rings before Dash picked up. “Whatz good, Rares.” “Twilight called n' holla'd we can go back ta her place. Right back up in yo muthafuckin' ass. Biatch n' Discord gonna git it fixed by then. I ain't talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Where is yo slick ass?” “I can't leave, I be all up in tha hospitizzle n' ain't a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do.” Applejack and Rarity’s eyes went wide. Applejack snatched the phone from the Unicorn, “Why is you there, biatch? How tha fuck badly did you git hurt, biatch? Is you goin' ta be aiiight?” “Fuck dat shit, I be fine. I crashed tha fuck into Surprise n' broke her wing. Right back up in yo muthafuckin' ass. Biatch passed out mid fall, so I caught her n' brought her here.” There was a pause in the conversation as Dash started speaking to somepony in the background. It carried on for a few seconds before Dash spoke to them again. “Da doctor holla'd dat she'll be aiiiight, they just gotta set her wing so they can cook up a cold-ass lil' cast fo' dat shit. I be bout ta go ahead n' peep you muthafuckas as Twilightz place.” Before Rarity or Applejack could reply, the line went dead with a click. Rarity rolled her eyes, “Why is it so hard fo' Rainbow Dash ta signify she endin' tha conversation before hangin' up, biatch? An 'adeiu', a 'farewell', even a 'see you later' would do. Right back up in yo muthafuckin' ass. Somepony need ta teach her beeper etiquette.” Applejack shrugged, “Whatever, letz just git outta here before suttin' happens ta tha machine again.” Rarity nodded in agreement before they both broke into a gallop towards Twilight’s castle. -MLP- “And why, pray tell, do I have to be the one to go and get the uranium power cell?” Discord questioned as he leered down at Twilight. “Because you tha one dat gots our asses tha fuck into this, n' you goin' ta be tha one ta git our asses up fo' realz.” She replied. “All you gotta do, is git all up in where they sold, n' loot one.” “You could do the same thing you know.” He suddenly gave her a snarky grin, "Or is it because you’ve got an image to maintain?” She narrowed her eyes, “I swear ta tha godz above Discord, if you don't just go n' do what tha fuck I axed you ta do-“ He threw his mix matched hands up, “Alright, alright. Don’t get fussy. I’ll go and get it.” He teleported with an audible pop, and reappeared within a minute with a giant mechanical container, with a strange silvery white material hovering within it. “Here’s your precious power cell.” He grumbled. Twilight levitated it from his grasp, and carefully locked it into place on the machine. She reached up and tapped a few buttons, and the machine hummed to life. “Okay...Discord, we' gotta regista yo' voice within tha system, since you tha only one outta all of our asses whoz ass still has a aiiight voice.” “Very well then. I suppose I can help out my friends…” he typed a few buttons until the machine spoke back. “Vocal Registration activated, please state your name. Discord cleared his throat, “Discord, King of Chaos.” “Good Afternoon, Discord, King of Chaos. Please input a phrase to input into Vocal Database System.” A mischievous smile painted his face, “I am better than Twilight Sparkle in every single way.” Twilight leered up at him, but said nothing in fear of messing up the registration. The machine made a few clicks and, to Twilight’s annoyance, played Discord’s message back to him. There were a few more hums and whirs, before the machine spoke up again. “Vocal Registration has been completed for ‘Discord, King of Chaos’.” “Fantastic…” Discord’s voice dripped with sarcasm. He looked down at Twilight, “Now what?” “That was just up in case tha buttons break or something.” Twilight replied. “I be bout ta set every last muthafuckin' thang back ta fix our asses right.” Discord stepped aside and let the princess type in the codes and other things she needed to do. After taking a few minutes to set everything up, she looked up at Discord, “What language is we even bustin' lyrics right now?” Discord rubbed the back of his long neck, “It’s not a real language…per se. You see, when we hit the machine, I was on the internet using Gizoogle.” Twilight rolled her eyes and inputted the website Discord had previously been on. She then put in a series of commands and stepped away from the machine. “Okay, so every last muthafuckin' thang is set up ta where it should have our asses bustin' lyrics Enquish again.” She looked up at Discord, “All you gotta do, is wait until we all on tha platform, then push dat purple button right there.” She finished as she pointed at the only purple button on the machine. He smirked, “So what happens if I don’t push it?” “Then you might as well not show yo' grill up in Equestria eva again.” He let out a groan of defeat, “Fine, fine.” He made a shooing motion to the group, “Go get on the platform so we can get this over with.” They all made their way to the metallic platform, and looked over at Discord expectantly. He grumbled a bit, before pushing the button. A machine hummed and whirred with newly found vigor, and the spires that surrounded the platform crackled with electricity. They all felt the tingle on their coats at electricity course through them for a few moments. The humming died as the process stopped, and the machine let out a little ping, “Vocal alteration complete.” After that, the room remained silent. They were all apprehensive to speak. What if Twilight’s machine hadn’t worked? Discord looked back and forth between them impatiently, “Will somepony speak so that we can figure out if this worked or not? I don’t want to be here all day.” “Shut up, Discord! You’re the one who put us in this situation in the first place!” Twilight snapped. Their faces lit up as she insulted Discord in perfect Enquish. “You did it!” Rarity squealed. “You fixed the machine!” “No…” Fluttershy stood by Discord, “They both did.” She looked up at the draconequus. “I’m very proud of you. Thank you for helping Twilight and fixing the machine.” Discord’s grumpy demeanor softened, “It wasn’t that big of an issue, really. I’m…glad I could help you.” For a moment, Fluttershy’s kindness spread amongst the group, before Dash’s eyes went wide. “Oh crap!” she grabbed Pinkie by the shoulders. “I’m really sorry, but I put your cousin in the hospital! I gotta go back!” Before any of them could question it, Dash took off in a streak of prismatic light. Pinkie snorted, “I’ll you girls later.” She zipped out of the room, the sudden wind force snatching papers everywhere as she was trailed by a pink, and lighter pink, streak. -MLP- “I got here as fast as I could!” Dash gasped out as she threw the door to Surprise’s room wide open. Surprise looked up at her a look of panic in her eyes, she shook her head rapidly, but it was far too late. Dash’s gaze settled on Pinkie sitting in a chair next to the bed, forelegs crossed and a hoof tapping the ground. Baby blue eyes were boring into her, and Dash shrank beneath Pinkie’s gaze. “Dashie…” the normally friendly nickname was laced with a frightening tone, “What did you do to Surprise??” “She crashed into me during practice.” Surprise quickly replied. “But it’s not her fault! Besides, It was one clean break, so it won’t take as long to heal.” Dash slowly walked up to the bed. “I’m really sorry about all this, Surprise. I couldn’t hear what you had said about the last part of the stunt. I’ll never make that mistake again…” “Don’t worry about it…Crash.” Surprise replied before letting out a snort and breaking out into a giggle. Dash smiled softly at the name, but then it fell as something crossed her mind. “Hey wait a minute…” one of her eyebrows raised up, “Spitfire couldn’t understand a thing I had said. How were you able to?” Surprise’s smile shrank a bit, “Well, I grew up in Manehattan. I didn’t choose the thug life;” the smile had now completely vanished. “The thug life chose me.”
MySpace: What's That? (Ditzy & Dinky)Ditzy beamed with pride as she stared at her profile page. Her picture showed her and Dinky, smiling into the camera they were posing for. The profile background was grey, with bubbles floating up the screen. She had a small paragraph that told a bit about herself, with her name and birth day posted next to it. She had just gotten her first friend and was searching out some more when her daughter rounded the corner. Her eyes immediately honed in one the screen and a smirk made its way to her lips, “Mom…did you just make that profile?” Ditzy nodded. “Yes ma’am! I think I did quite a good job.” A snicker escaped Dinky, “What are you doing?” “Trying to find others from around town.” Ditzy squinted her eyes in concentration, “But I’m having a hard time finding anypony…” Another giggle, “Mom?” “Yes dear?” “Nopony uses MySpace anymore.” Ditzy’s eyes went wide and her head whipped into Dinky’s direction, “What?!” “Nopony uses it anymore. For like…years. Everypony’s on Facebook.” She reached the front door and opened it, “Anyway, I’m going to go hang out with Sweetie Belle. I’ll see you later!” The door closed with a soft click, and Ditzy let out a defeated sigh, before beginning the process of deleting the profile. Author's Note I'm sorry, I couldn't resist doing a troll chapter.
