Diamond Tiara Buys Eggs and Nothing Happens

by Bootsy Slickmane

Rating: everyone
Tags: Silver Spoon, Diamond Tiara, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1207

Diamond Tiara goes shopping for eggs. Nothing ensues.

Diamond Tiara goes shopping for eggs. Nothing ensues.

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Published 2014-01-20 18:30:06 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-20 18:30:06 UTC

A Boring Shopping Trip

"But dad," Diamond whined.

"'Butt Dad?' Did you just call me 'Butt Dad?'" Filthy asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. "I guess that makes you Butt Daughter, huh?"

Diamond found her own hoof slapping her in the forehead as she groaned. "Dad, I'm busy with Silver Spoon. Why can't you go do it?"

"I told you, I'm busy with work and won't be free until this evening," her father said. "Even then, I'll only have just enough time to walk through the door and throw everything together before our guests arrive. All I'm asking is that you go out and buy a dozen eggs for me. You can take your friend with you, if you like."

Diamond grumbled under her breath, staring at the floor.

"Please, honey?"

She brought her gaze back to her dad, and couldn't help but sigh at the pouty expression he wore. "Fine, I'll do it."

Her father leaned down and planted a brief kiss on her forehead. "That's my girl." He hoofed her a cluster of bits and picked up his briefcase, walking out the door without another word.

"Stupid eggs," Diamond hissed, looking down at the coins resting on her hoof. "You catch that, Silver?"

Her best (and only) friend's head popped out from behind the corner. "Yeah. I guess we're going shopping, huh?"

Diamond just nodded and slid her saddlebags on. "You ready?"

Silver Spoon trotted around the corner, her bags already fastened to her. "Yep. Let's go get some eggs."

The two fillies headed out the door and into the crisp autumn air. The wind held a slight chill, but the sunlight on their backs compensated well enough. They didn't get more than a block across town before Silver spoke up.

"So, what were you saying just before your dad called you?"

Diamond squinted for a few seconds before replying, "Crap, I can't remember. Was it something about White Tail Woods?"

"I don't think so. Dang, I can't remember the topic, even." Silver shook her head, tossing her braided mane from side-to-side. "Don't 'cha hate it when that happens?"

Diamond nodded. "Yeah. Well, anyway, what are you gonna do this coming Nightmare Night?"

"Like, for a costume or, like, what am I actually gonna do that night?"

"Both," Diamond said with a shrug. "I think I'm gonna dress up as a vampire bat-pony."

"I figured I'd just go candy hunting with you, like last year." Silver smiled. "And I'm gonna go as a time-traveling used carriage salespony who came from the future to warn everypony about a giant meteor headed for Equestria."

Diamond just stared straight ahead for a few seconds. "Um, candy hunting sounds good to me. If somepony throws a cool party, though, would you want to go?"

"Meh, maybe."

The two fell quiet for a short while until the marketplace came into view. "Ugh, finally," Diamond groaned as she picked up the pace. "Now, where are the stupid eggs?"

Silver pointed a hoof towards one of the wooden stalls, and the two trotted over. The brown Earth pony barely glanced at them over his magazine, and barely grunted a greeting at them as he looked away.

Diamond hopped up to the counter, hooking her hooves over the edge as she eyed the array of eggs on display. There were white ones, brown ones, yellow ones, green ones, big ones, small ones, and some in-between ones.

Diamond's eyes glazed over at the sight of such variety. "Uh, which eggs should I get?"

Silver shrugged with a smile. "I dunno, I'm not an eggspert."

Diamond slowly turned to face her friend, eyes narrowed and lips pursed. "Nice," she said simply as her lips formed a smirk. Then she turned back to the eggs.

"What does your dad need 'em for?" Silver inquired with a quick lift to her glasses.

Diamond didn't take her eyes off the egg display. "I dunno. I think he's making a cake or something."

"He could make a wacky cake instead."

At that, Diamond did turn away from the eggs. "A what?"

"A wacky cake," Silver repeated. "It's a cake that doesn't use any eggs."

"Are you sure that's really a thing? How does that work?"

Silver shrugged again. "I don't know. All I know is that they don't need eggs and still taste great."

"Whatever," Diamond said, turning around and tossing some bits onto the counter. "Give me eggs."

"What kind?" the stallion asked from behind the stall.

"The kind you make cake with. Give me twelve of those," Diamond said, looking over at the older pony with a bored expression.

The brown stallion looked up from his magazine, staring at the filly for a good thirteen seconds. Then he picked up half the bits and slid over a carton of one dozen white-shelled, medium-sized eggs.

Diamond slid the change into her bags, followed by the little box of eggs. She hopped down off the counter, mumbling, "Stupid eggs." She trotted away with Silver in tow. "I've got a little money left. Wanna get a snack?"

Silver nodded quickly. "Yeah, sure. How about some daisies?"

"Nah, I don't feel like flowers. What about some broccoli?"

"I had that for breakfast." Silver scanned the market stalls, her line of sight finally settling on a stand covered with sweets. "Ooh, how about some bonbons?"

"Best idea I've heard all day," Diamond replied, and the two cantered over to the stand. Thirty seconds and a few bits later, both fillies were walking and munching away.

"Hey, I just remembered what we were talking about earlier," Silver said through a mouthful of candy. "I had asked who would win in a fight: Radiance, or the Masked Matter-Horn?"

Diamond's face lit up. "Oh yeah! And I was telling you that it didn't matter because it would never happen. They're on the same side, so why would they fight?"

"Right. I was gonna say that maybe one of them was being mind-controlled or something."

"Hmmm...." Diamond held a hoof to her chin. "Okay. In that case, I'd go with the Masked Matter-Horn."

"I think Radiance would win. She can summon and create anything."

"Anything Radiance makes, Matter-Horn can just blow up."

"Yeah," Silver said slowly, "but Radiance could just keep making more stuff. She could cover Matter-Horn in, like, bricks or something. If Matter-Horn can't point her horn at it, she can't blow it up, right?"

"Huh," Diamond said with a furrowed brow. "Never really thought of that. That might work if Radiance could manage to get her covered up fast enough."

Diamond opened her front door and Silver followed her into the house. The two quickly made their way into the kitchen and Diamond opened up the refrigerator to put away the eggs.

"Well, that wasn't too bad, right?" Silver asked.

Diamond slid the eggs onto a shelf and closed the fridge. "Nah, I guess not."

"The boring stuff is better when you've got a friend to share it with," Silver said, smiling at her best friend.

"Sharing the misery, eh, Silver Spoon?" Diamond chuckled. "You're right, though. C'mon, lets go back to my room."

And with that, the two went back to doing something more fun than shopping for eggs.