My Little Pony: Ponies on Jerry Colter
"Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!" The audience repeat rapidly as a TV show has just started in a live-studio. It's another day on the Jerry Colter Show, the show where guests come on to discuss their problems...and either yells, scream or fight. Fortunately, there are always Minotaur bodyguards to break up any intense fighting.
A male unicorn with yellow hair, blue eyes and has glasses and black suit came up, speaking into a mike, "Thank you; thank you! Welcome to the Jerry Colter Show. Today on our show is a very special topic: 'My Friends and Family All Hates Me Because Of the Bride'."
"Ooooooh."
"Yes, let's bring out our first guest: Twilight Sparkle!"
The audience cheers as Twilight came in, frowning a bit then came over to sit down in a chair nearby. The mare has seen this show so many times before...and doesn't like it.
"Welcome Miss Sparkle to our show." Jerry said with a smile. "You have seen this show, right?"
"Who hasn't? The folks who came on this has shown no dignity and acts like (beep)ing (beep)holes!" Twilight snaps as censors beep out what she's saying. "But hey, that's their problem. This one is mine."
"So tell us, what's been going on?"
"Well, recently, my friends and I have been invited to my brother Shining Armor's wedding, well more like helping out. He is getting married to Princess Mi Amore Cadanza." Twilight said the last part in a mock happy tone of voice. "You know her as Celestia's niece but under the name of Cadance, my foalsitter!"
The audience makes some noises as Jerry ask, "So what happened?"
"What happened? What happened?! Oh, I tell you what happened. That Cadance is no longer the kind foalsitter I knew her as. The (beep) has went and insult my friends as they were helping out, got rid of her bride's mates and, get this, hypnotize the (beep)ing (beep) out of my brother! And when I tried to warn the others? What happened? They took her side!"
"Oh well, we got a surprise for ya, a familiar groom that you know of. Come out, Mr. Shining Armor!"
Shining came out as the audience cheers or boos. The stallions scowls as he sat in a chair, snapping, "Twilight, damn it! You know very well what happened! Don't lie to these ponies!"
"I wasn't lying! I was telling the truth, I know what I saw!" Twilight snaps to Shining furiously.
"I told you that Cadance was only healing my headaches due to me focusing on the shield to keep out intruders! But nooooooo! You have to go and drag this horsecrap all over! The princess shouldn't have brought you to Canterlot in the first place!"
Twilight, scowling, jumps up and hits her brother. The audience cheers on wildly as two Minotaurs quickly separate the two fighting siblings. This is turning out to be another one of these shows.
"Settle down, settle down." Jerry said with a chuckle. "Now Mr. Armor, tell me what happened."
Shining, sitting down, snaps angrily, "Let me tell you. At the reception, we were practicing for the wedding. Twilight's friends came up the aisle, Twilight, who was my Best Mare at the time, was supposed to give out the ring to me...she wasn't there!"
"Oh geez, didn't take long to notice, you (beep)ing oaf." Twilight remarks to Shining dryly.
"And then Twilight came in and made accusations, calling my bride evil! She accuses her of being rude to her friends, killing off her bride maids and messing with my mind! My own sister made Cadance cries like...a banshee!"
"Booooo," The audience boos at Twilight.
"Oh shove it!" Twilight snaps at the audience in frustration.
"After Cadance ran out, I told my sister what happened, getting angry by her false accusations...then banned her from the wedding." Shining said with an annoyed sigh.
"Well, at least I am glad for that! Perhaps your (beep) of a bride can really (beep) you up!"
"Oh that tears it!"
Shining tries to hit Twilight but a bodyguard pulls him away. Jerry remarks, "Wow, sounds like whatever sibling ship you got have gotten out of hand."
"Yeah, it messes up my friendship with my friends too." Twilight said with a sad sigh. "I thought they would back me up...but those five girls ended up leaving me there."
"Sounds like a harem, eh?"
"Oh shut your flank up, Jerry! Your show is insane enough as it is!"
The audience made some 'oooh' noises. Jerry comments, "Well, regardless, let's see what your friends have to say. All right, let's bring out Miss Applejack, Miss Rainbow Dash, Miss Fluttershy, Miss Rarity and Miss Pinkie Pie!"
The audience applauds as five familiar ponies came in. Twilight glares angrily as her so-called friends begins to sit down.
"Man, oh, man! Being on TV is 20% awesome!" Rainbow exclaims with an eager smile.
"Welcome to the show, ponies." Jerry begins to say. "I hope..."
"I ain't a bucking fan, Jerry! I never like how your show made fun of awesome ponies whose are into books!" Rainbow snaps to Jerry in annoyance. "Last month, your (beep)ing producers tried to get me on here!.!"
"Ooooh," The audience remarks at the comment.
"Your show is for ruffians but this isn't about you unfortunately." Rarity said with a shrug.
"Oooh, hi," Fluttershy said meekly as she ducks down to avoid the camera. The pony is a bit camera shy.
"This is like-" Pinkie Pie begins to say happily but a familiar unicorn angrily cuts her off.
"Shut it!" Twilight snaps to Pinkie in annoyance. "You never know how to shut your mouth when you aren't needed for talking!"
"Come on, sugarcube. Ain't yew pushing 'dis attitude o' yers a bit too far?" Applejack asks Twilight with a frown.
"Why did you run out on me?" Twilight asked her friends, still hurt over what happened at the reception.
"Because you always get hysterical," Rarity explains with a shrug.
"Ohhhhh," The audience gasps.
"Well, it's true. You're never calm, you always overreact. You're semi-calm. You're the Margarine of calm. You're the Diet Coke of calm." Rarity explains some of the reasons to her friend.
"Not calm enough." Rainbow adds with a slight chuckle, much to Twilight's annoyance.
"Hey, that's from Austin-" Pinkie begins to say but Twilight cuts her off.
"Oh, for buck's sake; shut up!" Twilight snaps angrily to Pinkie while mocking her a bit. "Every day with you is always 'the author wants this'; 'Only I can break the fourth wall.' There is no author, no fourth wall and you never just leave anyone alone or shut the black hole you call a mouth! You're retarded!"
"Oooh," The audience exclaims a bit at Twilight's latest remark.
"Dat's going too far sugarcube!" Applejack snaps, angry by Twilight's comment.
"Yeah; What I want to do is to make people happy..." Pinkie said sadly as her mane and tail went flat.
"In your (beep)ing head, you (beep)!" Twilight snaps. Rainbow furiously tackles her friend and hits her, trying to get back at her for the comments towards Pinkie. The audience cheers onward as the Minotaur bodyguards came in to break this fight up.
"Oh my," Fluttershy said in concern.
"You were born in your mother's (beep), you damn orphan," Twilight yells at Rainbow as a bodyguard keeps her away.
"That's a low blow." Shining snaps at Twilight. One of the bodyguards checks to see if the mare is okay.
"I'm fine, I..." Suddenly, Rainbow pushed down Rarity as she tackles Twilight, getting into a crazy pony fight with her. The audience cheers wildly.
"Hey, no one does that to me!" Rarity screeches furiously as she jumps in and joins the fight. The trio of ponies hit one another trying to outdo one another. It took more Minotaurs to break these girls up.
"Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!" The audience cheers on wildly as the fight had to get broken up before it gets too intense.
"Okay, if we're settled down, Applejack, tell us what happened." Jerry said as the ponies are back in their seats.
"Shucks, where 'ta begin? First off, after we were asked 'ta help preparations an' our arrival, well, Cadance got a bit rude 'ta us." Applejack explains to Jerry.
"See what I mean?" Twilight ask Jerry in frustration.
"Yes, but we presumed that it was under stress and figure she needs to cool down." Fluttershy admits to Jerry.
"Of course, Twilight thinks otherwise, explaining the princess's actions and the whatnot." Rarity explains with a grunt. "We just think she is possessive over her brother and took some of her anger out on Cadance."
"I told you before, I am not being possessive!" Twilight snaps at Rarity. "And I am not taking it out on Cadance! You were just too caught up in your wedding planning to notice a Celestia damn thing about Cadance's attitude!"
"Yeah, yeah; we warned ya about your over-possessness of your brother, but what happened?" Rainbow remarks with a grunt. "You came in and acted like you're Rarity going fussy over dirt!"
"Why don't you just do everypony a favor, and SHUT THE (beeps) UP, RAINBOW CRASH?!" Twilight shouted in rage.
The audience gasps, especially Rarity, who snaps to Rainbow, "What do you mean 'fussy over dirt'?!"
"Duuuuuh! You always get freaked when dirt is involved." Rainbow remarks with a light chuckle. "No wonder your sister is embarrassed by ya."
"I will show you embarrassed!" Rarity snaps as she jumps at Rainbow and hits her, causing some bodyguards to break this up.
"Yew are fussy, really." Applejack chuckled. This causes Rarity to hit her. "Ay!"
"Shut up, dirt pony; I am no mood for your smart (beep) comments!" Rarity scowls angrily causing Applejack to jump up but a bodyguard pushes her back into the chair.
"Come on, you (beep)ches wanna go at me?!" Rainbow snaps angrily, her hooves in the air. "I can go all day!.!.!"
"Even when you get struck by a killing curse, Rainbow Crash," Twilight snarled.
"Come on, come on, let’s not fight, please." Fluttershy whimpers a bit.
"Hey, are you forgetting that I'm here?" Shining ask in frustration. "Have you forgotten that Cadance and I is the main thing?"
"Not really, we lost track a couple of paragraphs ago." Pinkie admits with a shrug.
"You Shining are the worst! I never get your letters anymore!" Twilight snaps to Shining in frustration. "It makes me wonder if your (beep) of a bride told you to stop sending me any!"
"Well, I'm starting to wonder if I should get a new and better sister than a purple eggheaded (beeps) LIKE YOU!.!" Shining shouted.
Twilight scowls as she fires blasts at Shining, who dodged them by ducking. The audience cheers onward. It took a while for Twilight to become exhausted from the blasts.
"And anyway, I told you that it wasn't my fault as I have to deal with the threat to Canterlot!" Shining snaps to Twilight some more.
"Yes, this threat; what is it?" Jerry asks Shining curiously.
"Well, we got word that something is planning on invading Canterlot soon. So I was given the task of putting up a shield to keep it out." Shining explains to Jerry. "We don't know what it is but we're not taking any chances especially with the wedding."
"Right, BTW, am I the one of the few ponies who heard Cadance singing to herself as if singing with another pony?" Pinkie asks randomly all of the sudden.
"What 'de hay are yew on about?" Applejack asks Pinkie with a frown.
"I passed her room and heard her singing to herself. Something about this day being perfect and fooling ponies." Pinkie said with a shrug.
"There, see? Pinkie thinks something's up!" Twilight snaps to her brother and other friends in frustration. "You got to admit, that's true."
"Your friend is always random, so what the buck are you suggesting?" Shining ask Twilight dryly.
"Excuse me, Miss Sparkle? Is there someone in your usual group who doesn't seem angry at you but concerned?" Jerry asks Twilight curiously.
"Well, there's Spike, but he left with them!" Twilight explains to Jerry in frustration. "If I didn't know any better, I say my little assistant sided with the bag too!"
"Well, let's see what Spike has to say. Mr. Dragon, please come on out!" Jerry exclaims as he introduces the next guest to come onto the set.
The audience cheers as Spike came onto the set, waving to the crowd before sitting down.
"Hey there, Spike. Have you been going through a tough time recently?" Jerry asks Spike curiously.
"Well, things has been getting a bit rough." Spike said with a sigh. "Twilight's relationship with her friends and family has been damaged."
"Can you tell us your story?"
"I was just one of those ring bearer things. The girls told ya what happened. I am a bit worried for Twilight due to what's happening."
"If you were worried, Spike, you would've stay by me, but you left!" Twilight remarks to Spike with a frown, "So much for being my number one assistant!"
"Come on; don't blame Spike for something that isn't his fault." Rarity said to Twilight dryly.
"Oh, shut it, Rarity! You are too snotty to realize that Spike loves ya."
"(Beep)!"
"Hey come on, don't tell folks that!" Spike exclaims as the audience gasps a bit.
"FYI, everyone already knows that and so do I." Rarity remarks to Twilight sternly. "You just never gave him a chance to love like you refuse to give your brother a chance, you (beep)!"
"(Beep) you!" Twilight screams as she goes at Rarity, getting into a fight. The audience cheers wildly at what's happening before the fight got broken up. "You smell like (beep)!"
Rarity scowls furiously as she uses her magic to lift a chair and throws it at Twilight. The mare ducks as Jerry said, "Girls, calm..." The chair hits the host, sending him to the floor. The audience got wild, cheering wildly as the fight continues. The host got up, groaning. "Honestly, keep me out of it."
"You kinda asked for it with your segments on human lovers." Fluttershy said. "Err, if you don't mind me saying so."
"I am so sad...I wanna fight too!" Pinkie whines. The mare yells as she hits Rainbow.
"Hey, why you," Rainbow screams as she pounces at Pinkie, getting into a dust cloud fight before Applejack joins in. The Minotaur bodyguards quickly work their damn hardest to break up all the fights.
"Ha! With your fighting, it makes me wonder if you all were friends or just players." Shining remarks as the girls sat back into their chairs.
"Yo mama," Twilight snaps to Shining angrily.
"Twilight, we shared the same mother."
"Uh, Spike, were you concerned for your friend's concerns of Cadance?" Jerry asks, fixing his glasses to make sure that they didn't break when that chair hit him.
"I will only answer if you don't get me on that stupid segment about dragons loving unicorns." Spike said to Jerry with a frown.
"I promise."
"Make it a Pinkie Promise!" Pinkie snarls as she got into Jerry's face, making him nervous. "Come on. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye! DO IT!!!!"
"Okay, okay! Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!" Jerry said nervously. That happy pony can be so creepy.
"Good, better keep to it. Applejack learned the hard way to what happened to ponies whose breaks their Pinkie Promises."
"Ah said Ah was sorry." Applejack grunts a bit to Pinkie. "What more do yew want?!"
"Pony parts!" Pinkie remarks with a creepy look, making the audience gasps and the guests to sit uncomfortably in their seats. "Kidding! Yeah, I ain't like that...or am I?"
"Anyway, I was worried...but figure Twilight was overreacting. She always does...and maybe boss me around like a slave." Spike comments to Jerry.
"Ooooh," The audience gasps in shock.
"I know, sad ain't it?"
"Spike, I may be harsh with you but I am not a slave driver." Twilight said to her adopted little brother in sadness. "I mean, yeah, we leave you alone, and yes, I did ban you from my birthday...but those were mistakes that I never like."
"If that's the case, why didn't you let me go over to stay at Rarity's sometime?" Spike ask Twilight a bit hurt.
"Just...let's not."
"What are you, some sort of freak?!" Shining scoffs to Spike, a bit disgusted.
"Hey, shut up, you (beep)!" Spike remarks to Shining angrily. "This isn't about me, you lame (beep)er!"
"Why I oughta kick your flank!"
"Bring it on, you (beep)!"
"Spike, calm down, calm down. It's okay." Twilight sighs...then rushes at Shining, attacking him. The audience went wild. "You (beep)ing (beep)ing! He is practically one of us you (beep)!"
The audience cheers as the siblings got fighting before the Minotaurs break them up again.
"Ever notice how Twilight didn't attack Spike yet?" Rainbow asks Applejack curiously.
"Spike is practically her little brother; Plus Ah done think 'dis show draws 'de line at attacking kids...or what looks like them anyhow," Applejack admits to Rainbow with a shrug.
"Oh come on, can't we just get along?" Fluttershy ask nervously at everyone.
"Apparently not at first, Miss Shy Can Barely Fly," Jerry jokes a bit. Bad mistake as Fluttershy scowls and attacks him, "Hey, hey! Ouch! You're supposed to attack each other, not the host! Ouch!"
"Don't you dare say that! No one say that to me!"
One bodyguard works hard to get Fluttershy off before returning to her seat. Twilight snaps, "Why do I ever have friends like you?!"
"Maybe because you didn't have a choice; didn't the princesses assign your fat flank to Ponyville in the first place?" Pinkie asks Twilight dryly.
"I thought you were good friends, but over time, I see some problems like stubbornness, bad egos, annoying traits, fussy natures and being a coward!"
"Speaking of princess, perhaps it's time for us to bring them out." Jerry said as the audience cheers wildly. "When I said 'them', I mean the Royal Sisters Celestia and Luna!"
The audience cheers wildly as Celestia and Luna came out to the crowd. The Goddess of the Night booms in her Royal Canterlot Voice, "Greetings Jerry!"
"Greetings, princesses; Welcome to the show. Luna...where were you when this happen?"
Luna in her normal tone of voice explains, "Keeping watch of course. With threats to Canterlot, some alicorns has got to keep an eye on things."
"Twilight Sparkle, I am more disappointed in you." Celestia said to Twilight in disapproval. The princess saw what her student did on a TV backstage and doesn’t like it one bit "We came here to talk these problems out...but instead, you insist on insulting your friends and brother and fighting them."
"This is a fighting show, princess, what the (beep) do you expect?" Twilight ask Celestia dryly. "And you're more disappointed; same to me to you!"
"Excuse me?"
"I tried to warn you and everyone else about Cadance...and when my brother told me otherwise...what did you do? You just left me saying 'you got a lot to think about'; After all we gone through, why did you abandoned me?!"
"Rather than make accusations, you could have informed me and request that I-" Celestia begins to say but the pissed off Twilight cut her off.
"What would you have done? Nothing! Just like with Nightmare Moon and Discord," Twilgiht snaps furiously to Celestia, causing the audience to gasp.
"Oh, Twilight; Take it easy!" Spike exclaims to Twilight, worried that her behavior could get her in more trouble than usual.
"No! She appears RIGHT after we saved Luna and the only help I get is friendship letters sent back?! Where were you?!"
"That's not where we're here to discuss." Jerry said to Twilight, calming her down a bit.
"Ni, ok? I wanna know just where the buck Celestia was when her subjects needed her!" Twilight said a bit hurt.
"Where were you, princess BTW?"
"That isn't what we're here to discuss." Celestia said to Jerry sternly. Then she gave a hurt look to Twilight. "Twilight, I has high hopes for you after you made friends at last. Have you forgotten all your friendship lessons? Have you gone this far to the point of this? I didn't make you my student in the first place to…"
"Oh sure, like you care; the reason why you even bring me as a student so you can rape my flank!" Twilight scowls furiously.
"Ooooh," The audience gasps as Celestia look shocked by the accusation.
"Well, why do you think she got the nickname 'Molestia'?! She probably screws every student that the princess has gotten over the years."
"Molestia, a good one," Luna said with a slight chuckle.
"Lulu, shut it." Celestia said to Luna sternly then turns to Twilight. "Twilight Sparkle, that isn't true. I made you my student because 1, I saw great potential and magic in you, as well as your connection to the Elements of Harmony. And 2, you were missing friends all your years. I care for you too much to try to violate you now."
"Oh sure, if you care, you would've send back some Hearts and Hooves Day cards when I kept sending you every year!" Twilight remarks sternly to the princess.
"Oooooh," The girls exclaims in amusement.
"Shut up! It isn't like that!"
"Okay, more than I needed to know." Shining said with a groan of disgust as Twilight frowns at him. "Can we move on from that? This is the fact that my sister almost ruined my wedding."
"Hey, it's that stupid bride of yours’ fault, not mine." Twilight said sternly to her brother.
"Speaking of which, how is Cadance taking what happened at the reception?" Jerry asks the guests curiously. "We haven't brought her out just yet."
"She was crying thanks to Twilight hurting her feelings but she calm down." Luna explains to Jerry. "Admittably, she wasn't thrilled to come here and face Miss Sparkle again."
"Well, time to bring her out. What do you say, folks?" Jerry asks the audience with a grin. The audience cheers wildly. "All right, Princess whatever your name is, come on out!"
The crowd cheers as Cadance came onto the set, giving a somewhat innocent smile to the crowd. Twilight glares as she hugs Shining then sat down.
"Princess, welcome to our show." Jerry said to Cadance with a smile.
"Thank you, Jerry." Cadance said with a bow.
"Now, then, according to what Shining and some of Twilight's friends before the show, the reason you acted rude was under stress, right?" Jerry asks Cadance curiously.
"As far as you know; anyway, maybe that's the case. And the bridesmaids; Not worth having due to wanting to be loyalty, like the ungrateful little slob here," Cadance said rudely, making the audience gasp a bit.
"You know, you were more nicer when I was little." Twilight comments to Cadance angrily.
"Little annoying, I bet," Cadance gave an evil laugh.
"Best not to push it, miss," Luna said to Cadance in worry.
"Please! I got it all under control, like Shining here, right, honey?" Cadance asked with a sly grin as she tickles Shining under the collar.
"Right, darling," Shining replied with a goofy grin.
"What did we say, Twilight? She is a gem." Rarity remarks to Twilight with a smile.
"More like a cracked one!" Twilight snaps furiously. "I don't know what you truly did to Shining, but I know that you were brainwashing his brains out!"
"Twilight Sparkle, we aren't having this discussion again." Celestia said to Twilight sternly.
"No! We're having it now! Cadance, I got a feeling that you either turn evil or have forgotten me. I sure felt it when you didn't do the ladybug dance with me when we met again." Twilight said furiously.
"Ladybug dance; what's that?" Cadance asked Twilight, still unsure.
"Oh, that's it! You're dead!" Twilight exclaims furiously as she rush at Cadance and tackle her. The audience cheers madly as the two mares fight.
"Get off Cadance, you little (beep)!" Shining yells furiously as he jumps in, trying to force Twilight off his future bride.
"Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!" The crowd cheers on intensely.
Cadance screams as Twilight bit her on the upper foreleg, "She's biting me! The little (beep) is biting me! Ouch!"
"Princess, uh, does Cadance always swear?" Fluttershy ask Celestia in concern.
"As far as I know, Cadance never swore once." Celestia admits in surprise. In all her life, she has never recalls her niece even swearing. It isn't in her nature.
"Who cares about that; Twilight should stop raving like a lunatic!" Rainbow shouted.
"Sounds like yew could take yer own advice, Rainbow Crash." Applejack chuckles a bit.
"THAT'S IT!" Rainbow furiously as she hits Applejack, chasing the Earth pony around. The Minotaurs work their hard efforts to break up the fights.
"Let me at her, I will break her horn right off!" Twilight snarls as one Minotaur kept her and her own magic away from the struggling Cadance.
"Our kind doesn't deserve to be with you ponies!" Cadance yells at Twilight. The mare got a surprised look from the Royal Sisters. Quickly, Cadance said in pretend tears, "I mean...why must she be so psychotic to me?!"
"Hold on a minute. What do you mean your kind?" Luna said suspiciously.
"Calm down, ponies, let's not turn this into a free for all like on some shows." Jerry said with a chuckle, trying to keep this fight from getting intense.
"Are you kidding? Those are the best kinds!" Pinkie insists as she held up some guns and knives. "I was saving these for a video game that we were working on before Hasbro gave it the ol' Cease and Desist Order!"
"Pinkie, you are so random, it's (beep)y!" Rainbow remarks dryly.
"Thank you!" Pinkie exclaims happily, unaware that her friend was mocking her this time.
"My little ponies, you're turning this friendship thing into a free for all. I am surprised that we didn't get hit just yet along with Spike." Celestia remarks then yelps as Luna kicks her in the side. "OUCH!"
"Now you got hit." Luna said to Celestia with a giggle. "You are always the weak, lazy one of the family."
"I AM NOT!" Celestia exclaims as she head butts Luna, getting into slap fest.
"Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!" The crowd cheers on. While the Royal Sisters are powerful, even the bodyguards were able to pull them apart.
"Another thing, why did you girls listen to me during the future me incident but not this time," Twilight snaps to her friends in frustration. "Don't tell me you are being hypocritical!"
"We aren't being hypocritical. It's you who's overreacting!" Rarity exclaims to Twilight sternly.
"Right, for once, Twilight, try to calm down." Spike said to Twilight sternly.
"Spike, let the grown up mares handle this." Twilight said to Spike then turn to her friends. "Princess Cadance here has ponies on a leash. You all, the princess and Shining are the only ones who think otherwise because you're all too stupid and naive to know any better!!"
The audience gasps as Pinkie yells out, "I ain't stupid, you big meanie stupid head!"
"And who said I was naive?!" Fluttershy squeaked out, hurt by the comment. "You are a big dumb meanie!.!.!"
The ponies continue yelling insults at one another. Jerry decides to cut in at this point.
"Ponies; Ponies; Let us stop this senseless argument!" Jerry spoke forth in trying to get this crazy argument and bad behavior the ponies on his set were performing were like fillies and colts not listening. "Now I'm very shock and disappointed in you all, and sorry princesses, but that goes for you, too!" He stated from getting things under control with a stern expression.
Now everyone was quiet while looking away with moody faces, seeing they were in trouble. Not even Celestia and Luna would argue against Jerry Colter when he got serious.
"You let matters that happened take your squabble too far, and said things without truly getting the picture!" Jerry explained the conditions that have been met with disaster in the air. "The only lesson advice I can give you, is this..." He took a breath moment to settle himself while making this claim. "Harsh Words will not solve your problems. Only by action...can you see the solution to the problem."
There was silence with many thinking about what the stallion spoke off, and it sounded like...really good advice.
"Jerry Colter is right." Applejack spoke from thinking over what was mentioned.
"Yes, words will not solve anything." Fluttershy nods in agreement that what they are doing won't solve anything.
"Only action will." Shining declared forth in seeing the only path left to take.
Now Jerry was starting to smile that finally, his guest has seen the error of this debating dispute, but that was far from it. Without warning, many sides were suddenly getting up, many hooves rose up in fighting stances to grabbing stage stuff or other items for weapon usage to even horns glowing.
"Enough with the light fighting; let’s deal with this crap, right now!" Pinkie exclaims while in a general’s hat and her Party Cannon out.
"GOOD!" Most of the group exclaims madly as more fighting breaks out. Nunchucks blasts, blasts from the Party Cannon fire, punching, kicking, screaming, even magical beam blasts along with other weird stuff begins to break out. Stuff that looks like it's making a puff cloud to make it hard to see occur and is getting out of control that the audience is fleeing.
Seeing this, there was only one thing to do; PANIC!
"Go to commercial! GO TO COMMERCIAL! AAAAAHHHHH..." Jerry Colter shouted before he screamed out his message while getting caught in the crossfire.
Finally, the image screen shifted our view to show a 'technical difficulty' announcement with a loud beeping noise, stating that from the rough work, the station couldn't broadcast anymore until the situation was fixed.
A while later, the show is back on, but the studio is destroyed. Some audience members came back as the whole building is turned into rubble by the blasting. The ponies seem to have calmed down while Jerry is back to his show, continuing despite the destruction.
"Welcome back to our show...or what's left of it." Jerry said with a sigh. "Well, ponies, are you satisfied?"
"Eh, better." Rainbow said with a shrug.
"We kinda feel better after letting all that stress and frustration out." Twilight said in agreement.
"We feel more at peace." Fluttershy said to Jerry happily, "Oh, sorry about your studio."
"No problem...we can rebuild...we can..." Jerry said with a sigh. It's going to take weeks to rebuild.
"That still doesn't give you the right for making me cry and hurting feelings at the reception." Cadance said to Twilight sternly. "Right, Shining?"
Shining appears to be in some sort of daze as he nods, saying, "Hmph-mph."
"Is it just me or is Shining been acting more weirdly?" Spike asks the ponies in concern. "I mean, I saw Cadance talking to him and doing more of that mind cleaning magic."
"Yeah..." Twilight said thoughtfully. "You know, Cadance...your Changeling magic appears to be approving."
"Thank you, I'm glad somepony notices." Cadance remarks, not realizing what Twilight just said.
"AHA!" Twilight shouted in triumph as she pointed a hoof towards Cadance.
"Changeling magic," The rest of the Mane 6 and Spike asked in confusion.
Cadance yelps in alarm as the others look confused. The mare said quickly, "I mean, I don't know what you mean..."
"Actually, I think you will after we brought in one final guest." Jerry said with a chuckle.
"'Guest'; But we're all here." Celestia points out to Jerry in concern. All the ponies involved (well, maybe not Luna) in the problem are here. Who else is there?
"Well, I think you will find out in a moment. Final guest, please come on out!" Jerry exclaims as he motions to the door...that collapses.
When the dust is settled, the final guest is revealed to be...Cadance?! But this one looks like she was a prisoner somewhere before being released!
"What the--" Rainbow asked in shock and confusion as her eyes widened and her jaw dropped open.
"What," 'Cadance' ask in shock and confusion while Twilight, Luna and even Jerry smirk secretly, "But how did you escape?!"
"Well, turns out that while we were working on this show, I have taken the liberty of doing some searching." Luna said with a smile. "This whole thing was a plan organized by me, Twilight Sparkle and Jerry to expose you!"
"How could there be two Cadances?" Applejack asks her friends in concern.
"That so-called me over there is a Changeling!" Cadance exclaims as she trots forward, pointing to the impostor. "She is a shape shifter that feeds on love and has been impersonating me all along! I was trapped in the caves before Aunt Luna found and released me!"
The ponies look shocked and concerned while 'Cadance' protests, "Come on, you can't believe this. This could be something made up by Twilight to..." The impostor was cut off when Twilight bit her in the side. "OUCH! YOU (BEEP)ING (BEEP)! I OUGHTA KICK YOUR (BEEP) FOR THAT!"
"Well, that proves that you are an impostor." Celestia said sternly. "Because I know very well that my niece would never curse, even if that happened!"
"Exactly my point," Twilight shouted.
"OKAY, I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!" 'Cadance' exclaim furiously as she begins to transform. The wings turned insectoid looking and colored dark cerulean, her hooves turned skinny, black, and has holes in it, and lastly the transformation went from her horn to down to reveal a crooked horn, a small, black crown tipped with blue circles, long dark cerulean mane, and her coat is very dark gray. She also has a greenish saddle and blue-green rib plate. Her eyes open to reveal Moderate harlequin with vertical dragon-like pupils within a normal round one.
Fluttershy yelps as Rainbow remarks, "Dang, this day keeps getting crazier by the moment."
"I got to admit, you did good in your little plan to expose me....but it's too late, little pony." The evil Changeling Queen known as Chrysalis said to Twilight with a hiss. "I have absorbed enough of Shining's love for Cadance...enough to be powerful and break that shield of his."
"Oh no," Some of the ponies gasp in worry and concern.
"It's that what you were doing?" Rarity asks Chrysalis in worry.
"Yes...and I have absorbed more lunch during the break, isn't that right Shining?" Chrysalis asks Shining while rubbing the brainwashed stallion's chin.
"Hmph-mph," Shining said with a nod.
"Leave Shining alone!" Cadance exclaims to Chrysalis furiously. "I haven't been separated from him for this long just for you to use him as a target."
"Oh, but you have no choice, Cadance! Soon, my Changelings will feed...first Canterlot, then the world!" Chrysalis laughs insanely, thinking that she has won.
"I think not, monster." Celestia said sternly as she trots forward to her enemy. "You have may cause Shining to be useless in the defense of Canterlot...but now that you have been exposed, I will do whatever it takes to defend my subjects from you!"
"Oooh," Pinkie said as her mane and tail blow up back to normal (or what's close to it anyway). "We get to see a (beep)ing fight! Wait, can we still swear with the place a mess?"
Celestia fires a blast at Chrysalis with the Changeling Queen blocking with her own. It appears to be a tug of war, except one opponent must out power the other. The others watch on, but it looks like Chrysalis is going to win when she is forcing her power back...
"Let me help you sister!" Luna exclaims as she fires a blast of her own, helping Celestia out with fighting Chrysalis. It looks like the tables are turned as the power is turned back to her.
"Ha ha ha," Chrysalis exclaims as she manages to recover and is pushing the beams right back to the alicorns. It looks like the Royal Sisters are going down...but then the villainess yells as a chair hits her on the side. She turns and saw Twilight, the one responsible, "You?!"
Chrysalis screams as the beams hit her, sending her crashing through a broken wall. Twilight quickly calls out to Cadance, "Quickly, use your spell."
Cadance nods then trots over to the dazed Shining. The alicorn, saddened to see her love like this, nuzzle the stallion and use her love spell right onto Shining. Suddenly the stallion blinks his eyes and groan while saying, "Oooh. Is the show over?"
"'De show has been over fer yew fer a long time sugar cube." Applejack said with a chuckle.
Chrysalis got up from the rubble, snarling, "Oh, you ponies have seriously (beep)ed with the wrong mare! My army and I will make sure work out of all of you!!!" Sure enough, we see some Changelings appearing, ready to attack.
"What in Tartarus is that?!" Shining ask in shock and alarm.
"Short story: the Changeling Queen has been posing as Cadance the whole time, Twilight, Luna and Jerry made this show to expose her and now they're ready to attack." Spike said a bit awkwardly. Shining gasps in shock at what's happening. His sister is right...about the 'evil' part and not the 'Cadance' one!
"No!" Shining Armor said. Quickly, the unicorn works hard to use magic in hopes to make another shield to repel the Changelings. A small ball of light appears but that's about it. Shining groans a bit as the magic fades. "My power is useless now. I don't have the strength to repel them."
Cadance smiles as she hugs Shining, saying gently, "My love will give you strength."
"What a lovely but absolutely ridiculous sentiment." Chrysalis taunts sinisterly. How could love the one thing that gave her army strength help the ponies out now?
Shining nods as he uses his magic. Cadance put her horn on his as a beautiful glow appears; then something magical happen: the magic surround the couple as the wind blew through them.
Soon magic flew from Shining and Cadance, destroying the cocoon that releases Celestia. The two kept their magic until their eyes and bodies glow white. A white magical sphere surrounds the lovers until it forms a heart, making a new force field that appears and pass the ponies and dragon.
Chrysalis looks horrified, this cannot be! She protest, ""Noooooo!"
Chrysalis tries to fight it but the force field hits the villainess, sending her out like mad. The Changelings got hit by it as well, releasing the guards and ponies; once the force fields, the Changelings, every last one of them, flew far far away until they disappear from sight.
"Yahoo; They did it, they kick their (beep), those (beep)ing (beep)ers!" Fluttershy cheers on wildly. The mare looks a bit meekly, "Oh sorry. Didn't mean to..."
"That's okay, you got excited." Rainbow said while putting an arm around Fluttershy.
"You okay, Princesses?" Twilight ask Celestia and Luna as she came over to check on the Royal Sisters who got a bit exhausted from using so much power against Chrysalis.
"We're all right." Celestia said as Twilight helps her up a bit. "That last attack exhausted me...but at least I wasn't trapped in some cocoon of sorts. Thank you, Luna, for helping."
"It's all I can do to stop that imposter, sister." Luna said to Celestia proudly. "She almost ruined everypony's lives and turn Equestria into a wasteland...and this show Twilight, Jerry and I planned sure made her slip up."
"Listen...sorry about what I said...and the fights," Twilight said in guilty to her brother, her friends and her mentor. "I only pretended to be a jerk just to lure the Changeling Queen into the open."
"So wait, you never meant to curse at us, insult us or call us names?" Rarity ask Twilight in surprise. So all this time, her friend was pretending to trick Chrysalis! Clever!
"Come on, I am a friend. You think I would act like someone out of a bad teen movie now?"
"You're a good actress, my faithful student, you have even me fooled." Celestia said to her student with a slight chuckle then she said sternly, "But don't you ever do that to us again."
"Yeah, hey, sorry I beat up on ya, big brother." Twilight said while hugging her brother Shining, reassuring the relationship, "BBBFF always?"
"Always, Twiley," Shining said while hugging Twilight back then let go of his sister to rub his shin sheepishly. "Still, you hit hard for a little sister."
"Well, normally this is the part where we get questions from the audience...but since most of them ran away, I will skip to my Final Thought." Jerry said, reminding everyone that the camera is still. "What we see is is a result of a plan that almost ruined the relationships between siblings, friends and mentor-student. While some tend to overreact and be jealous, causing some problems or another, the lesson we learnt here is that it's good to follow your instincts in the face of doubt. Of course, the lesson that I learnt myself is that this the last time I have these kind of powerful ponies on my show. Still, regardless of what occurred today, love and friendship can conquer the most dangerous of enemies."
"Amen!" Some of the ponies remarks at once.
"Anyway, it may be a while until my show as we need to rebuild the building and studio...so until next time, take care of yourself...and each other."
Suddenly some rubble behind him fell, falling onto Jerry and knocking him down. Pinkie, the one who push it, giggles, "Awww, ain't that a (beep)!"
Looks like the Jerry Colter Show may not be seen for some time now.
The End
Cast list
Jerry Springer: Jerry Colter
Tara Strong: Twilight Sparkle
Ashleigh Ball: Rainbow Dash, Applejack
Andrea Libman: Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy
Tabitha St. Germain: Rarity, Princess Luna
Cathy Weseluck: Spike
Nicole Oliver: Princess Celestia
Andrew Francis: Shining Armor
Britt McKillip: Princess Cadance, Fake Cadance
Kathleen Barr: Queen Chrysalis
Author's Note
Whoa, what a wild ride, eh folks? And about time I stick it to the 'Jerry Springer Show' for those segments about us Bronies! Man, it took me and my pal a while but this story is done. I like to thank some of my reviewers for the ideas. They are appreciated. And now, for the next MLP: FIM fic...
"Wasted Life: Resurrected after their "deaths" at Lorcan's hands, the villains work on a big plan to escape from their imprisonment after the dragon's defeat. But can the group do it without Lorcan and Discord? And what is the new group called the Apocalypse Ponies?
Villains: Lorcan (flashbacks), Discord (flashbacks), Trixie, Glida, the Flim-Flam brothers, the Diamond Dogs, Boris, Boxco and Dum-Dum, The Apocalypse Ponies"
Oh boy, this story may be my biggest on ever, as I will be using a lot of VISION-KING's suggestions but I can always take more if need be. Until next time, read, review and suggest!
Twilight's friends' answer as to why they ran out on her is a reference to the second Austin Powers film, which also has Jerry Springer.
The fangame 'My Little Pony: Fighting is Magic' and the cease and desist order is referenced as well.
