Northwind by Moonlight

by Goldymarg

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1197

"I haven't really thought about it, have I? Being up so high...I get so anxious just thinking about it."

"I haven't really thought about it, have I? Being up so high...I get so anxious just thinking about it."

It all started with such an innocent question. No cynicism, no underlying motive, just a simple request from a friend. A request that was turned down, prefaced by a white lie. It wasn't that Twilight wasn't capable of at least trying, because she could. She was just unsure of herself. Something that was so mundane to everypony participating was something so much more to her. And despite everything that she had been though, past all the challenges and scrapes with death, past all her new responsibilities and worries...nothing upset her more than just sitting down and contemplating it.

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Written and submitted for EqD's Writer's Training Grounds #004 with the prompt, "What's it like to fly?"

Published 2014-01-22 02:00:06 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-22 02:00:06 UTC

Making the jump

Rainbow Falls, just after midnight

(“Ugh...I can't sleep.”)

Twilight Sparkle opened her eyes with a soft sigh, staring at the hotel room's door in the darkness. For the past hour she wasn't able to find a decent comfortable position on the bed, nor could she stop feeling her heart beating so obnoxiously. She threw the covers off with her magic and put a hoof on her face, frustrated with how awake she was. The excitement from this afternoon had died down long ago, allowing her mind to wander back to what she was thinking about since before she stepped onto the train. To what Rainbow Dash had asked her this morning.

(“Hey Twilight, how about you help represent Ponyville in the relay?! I know you're still new to the whole flying thing, but you'd have nothin' to worry about with me coaching you!”)

“Flying, huh...?”

She took her hoof off her face and sat up, her new appendages on her back glaring back at her in the corner of her eye. Rainbow Dash was so casual about it. So innocent. And why shouldn't she be? Soaring through the skies faster than sound was the destiny she chose for herself. Heck, most of the fliers here in Rainbow Falls most likely shared the same passion in one way or another. For them, being able to fly was the same as being able to speak or walk. They simply expected they'd be able to do just that the next morning. They took it for granted.

“I haven't really thought about it, have I? Being up so high...I get anxious just thinking about it. Is it really all that great? I-I mean, I've never really wanted to fly...” Twilight whispered to herself. A few red flags went off in her head, causing her to look around the room. Aside from Pinkie mumbling to herself about some amalgam of confections, everypony was still sound asleep. Sighing a bit more roughly, she slid out of bed and walked over to the door, stepping outside whilst making sure to turn the doorknob as little as possible. She advanced lightly through the inn's snaking hallways and stepped outside into the cool air, taking a breath of satisfaction at finally being alone. As expected, no lamps were left on in any of the buildings, the only lights existing in the night sky. A crescent moon reflected off the multicolored rivers flowing throughout the town, its subtle light cascading gently off the rainbow mist. The air here was thin due to the elevation, but still comfortable to inhale.

“I didn't want to let you down like that, I just...ugh. I don't know what's wrong with me.” Twilight said as she idly walked off without any real destination. She didn't need to be quiet anymore, but her voice still came out softer than a squeak. It made no sense to her as to why flying seemed like such an insurmountable task, especially since she's already done it so many times in the past. This whole situation defied all logic, and it wasn't like her. She should have shrugged off such silly inhibitions a long time ago. But instead, she found herself making up lies about royalty not being able to participate in the Equestrian Games. She found herself still using teleportation to get around, even when it was ineffectual at times. Even when the plunder vines nearly poisoned her to death, she refused to use her wings to escape. What was she so afraid of?

“Wah!”

Twilight's foreleg stepped on air as she nearly tumbled over a cliff, the front half of her body tipping over the edge and giving her a clear view of a rainbow waterfall's bottom. Her legs kicked up a little dirt as she doubled back and fell onto her rear, her thoughts coming back to the forefront. Groaning a little, she said, “Jeez...I really do need to get over this. One more step and I would've...”

She stopped, the last few words coming out as nearly a whisper. Would've what? Fell? Something like that was no longer a threat. She could have just flown to safety, or glided down to the ground. Even now, she was still reacting how she normally would have. Groaning louder, she planted her legs into the ground and stepped over to the river, splashing her face with water.

“No. I've had enough of this. I need to get over myself, otherwise things will only get worse.”

Twilight let the water drip off her face for a moment, a cool breeze brushing past her. Staring into her reflection in the river with half-lidded eyes and a creased brow, she watched her wings snap open. There was only one way she could think of to get past this obstacle she made for herself. Taking a deep breath, she said, “Here goes nothing...”

Twilight craned her head upwards, and with a mighty flap of her wings, catapulted herself off the ground like a rocket. Over and over again she moved her wings, not stopping for even a second. The mountain air stung her face with an icy chill, forcing her to screw her eyes shut, and her legs went limp from the anxiety. There was no telling just how high she was taking herself, nor did she care. All she knew was that she needed to move, to go higher and higher, to push past all of the fear and doubt that had been plaguing her mind. After close to a minute of unrestrained flying, she slowed herself to a hover and opened her eyes.

“...oh.”

The sight below left Twilight speechless. It all looked so small. From the town of Rainbow Falls, to the light wisps of clouds, to even the mountainside itself. Thinking a bit, she surmised that she must have at least passed the stratosphere two miles ago.

“Heh...eh heh heh...”

Somewhere underneath her diaphragm, a small giggle forced it's way out of her mouth, making her smile with no rhyme or reason to it. It was true that the air was even thinner up here, but she knew that wasn't why she couldn't stop chuckling to herself. Up here, way above the clouds, there was only herself. It was like her own little world, a place she could visit whenever she wanted. Here, under the light of the crescent moon, she finally understood what was troubling her so much.

“It's new...it's all different. This...this is me now.”

Change. The unknown. Things that left everypony unsure and fearful. It wasn't that Twilight was acrophobic or that she didn't trust her ability to fly. Deep in her subconscious, she must have been scared of change. That she couldn't face what she had become. Thinking on it now, it really was as silly as it sounded.

“How could I have ever thought that, even unwittingly...? Being up here, being able to fly...it's such a wonderful thing.”

Author's Note

1/21/14 - I dunno, I wasn't feeling the prompt this week. Not particularly satisfied with what I've written, but it's the best I can come up with. Maybe someone else will like it :/