The Pony Who Just Needed a Hug
I am Cadet Star Kicker. I’m here to tell you a story. It’s a happy story; full of humor, romance, laughter, denial and raw, fiery animal lust. It’s the story of the happiest time of my life. And it starts at my aunt’s funeral.
Yeah, my life is kinda messed up like that.
Have you ever lost a family member? One you were close to? If you have, you have my deepest condolences. I wouldn’t wish it on anypony. If not, please understand I mean no disrespect when I say you cannot possibly fathom the pain I was in.
I know I promised this was going to be a happy, lighthearted story. And don’t get me wrong. It will be just that. But in order to fully understand what turned out to be the best time of my life, I feel it’s vital that you have an appreciation for just how badly I was hurt. If you’ll indulge me and have a bit of patience, I promise you’ll get that happy romantic story you were looking for. But first I need you to understand just how much I needed Sparkler Doo in my life.
The Kicker clan was spread out a bit in the little square of cemetery in front of Shadow’s tomb. My aunt Nimbus’ casket was lying directly in front of the effigy of Shadow herself, making it look as though the massive stone figure of our ancestor was looking down at the box. It seemed a little perverse almost. I wasn’t especially close to my aunt but what I did know of her made her seem larger than life. Yet sitting under Shadow’s tomb she just seemed so… tiny.
Everypony seemed tiny compared to Shadow Kicker. They always gave Shadow proportions I've only seen on alicorns. I wonder whether she would have laughed at them if she were around today A lot of ponies say she was all grim and serious and never laughed or smiled, but anypony who's read her memoirs knows that's horseapples.
That’s when I met her: a cute little purple mare with three gems as a cutie mark approached me. The cutie mark caught my eye, seeing as I have a certain affinity for gemstones. Most anypony who knows me knows about my talent for turning gems into magical trackers and slipping them onto other ponies unnoticed.
But I’m getting off topic. The cute mare approached me and sat down beside me, hanging her head to match my own posture. “Hey..... I'm... Luna, I'm so sorry.”
I nodded, my eyes moving back up to the impossibly tiny box. “It happens. Soldiers fall. We’re all prepared for the fact that our deaths aren’t very likely to be nice and peaceful.” I swallowed the lump forming in my throat and cast my gaze further up, now looking directly into the cold stone eyes of revered Shadow Kicker. “Doesn’t make it any easier though.”
My new companion opened her forehooves, offering a hug.
Celestia, a hug. I could really go for a hug. A hug sounded really really good right then. I wrapped my hooves around her, holding her tight and feeling her squeeze me comfortingly. We just sat there for a while. I’m not sure how long. It was just… nice to have somepony close.
Eventually, I remembered myself and pulled away. “I’m sorry. I… I must be a mess,” I made a token attempt to straighten my mane. “I didn’t even give you my name. I’m Star Kicker. Nimbus is my… was my aunt.” Ow. That hurt. I didn’t expect to feel so much pain at the realization that I’d never get to speak about her in the present-tense again.
My company seemed to notice the little wince. “I’m Sparkler Doo,” she offered, looking like she was about to burst into tears. “And I’m so sorry.” Again I found myself on the receiving end of her hug. It felt so nice…
A piece of the puzzle slipped into place in my mind. She said her name was Sparkler Doo. “Oh, you’re Ms. Ditzy’s daughter, right?” I liked her. She was sweet. Kind. Compassionate. I didn’t wanna lose her. Almost without thinking, one of my tracking gems found its way to my hoof and from there into her mane, just at the bend of her neck.
She didn’t notice the movement. Like I said, I have a real talent for slipping these things on ponies without them knowing. It had been a good long while since I had quit the habit of tagging anypony I cared about, but ever since the situation with my aunt I had been feeling… I didn’t wanna lose anypony else, alright? And if it was a choice between tracking everypony I loved or possibly losing another one … well, that wasn’t a choice at all.
“I’m one of them, yeah,” Sparkler answered. “Dinky’s my little sister. She’s Alula’s friend.” I felt her body tense at that. No wonder why. Alula was just a little foal, and right now she was not twenty yards from me, probably trying to grasp the concept that her mother was dead.
“This is going to be hard on her,” I stated, my voice flat as I held back the pain. “She’s trying to be a good little soldier. Keep a brave face. But I don’t think it’s sunk in yet. That her mom isn’t going to co--” Shadow’s left teat, I was starting to choke up! I took a deep breath, using my training to try and shut out the pain and keep my composure. “Sorry,” I said to Sparkler, who was starting to look worried. “It’s still a little raw.”
Sparkler took the opportunity to redouble the hug she still had me clasped in. Another part of my military training kicked in. I had a civilian clinging to me and hurting bad. Only one thing for it. I started comforting her on instinct. “It’ll be alright, Sparkler. This isn’t the first loss we’ve suffered. We’ll move on.”
She gave me a sad little smile that made my heart thrum for her. “Doesn’t make it any easier, though.”
That got a small, mirthless chuckle out of me. “No. No it doesn’t. But ponies count on us Kickers to deal with the hard stuff. It’s what we train for.”
“You’re ponies too,” she countered, finally releasing me and following the procession of ponies now making their way toward the reception. I noticed as she did so that her gaze never wandered in the direction of Shadow’s tomb.
I took a moment to bow and genuflect towards said tomb before I followed her. “Yes, we are. And we still feel pain. But we move on because ponies count on us to ignore and endure the pain so we can protect them from it.”
I noticed that this whole time we had been talking, Sparkler was pointedly avoiding looking at Shadow’s tomb. It was pretty strange for a pony not to even glance at a big statue sitting there in the middle of the cemetery, especially since it was the biggest landmark in the area. Add to that the fact that it was Shadow’s tomb and this was a funeral held in Shadowvar tradition and it seemed very unlikely she just hadn’t noticed it. “So what’s with the cold shoulder?” I asked. “Did Shadow steal your cookie or something?”
I knew instantly from the subtle way her gaite changed that I had struck a nerve. Nice going, Star. All tact and charisma, you are. She was silent for several seconds before she answered me. “Sorry; not a believer, what with the family history and all.”
I mentally kicked myself. I should have put the pieces together; a lot of Doos died during the Lunar Rebellion, and Shadow was calling the shots on the Loyalist side. I don't like it, but that's what happens during wars. The Doos had just backed the wrong pony, and as a result a clan the size of the Kickers had been reduced to a hoof-full of households. For the most part it was ancient history. Most of the modern-day Doos were willing to let the past stay in the past, but it looked like Sparkler was one of the ones who were still a bit sore about it.
“Oh right... I forgot. I'm... I'm sorry…” I offered. It wasn’t going to make up for the resentment she was obviously harboring but it was better than keeping silent. But it suddenly struck me as odd that Sparkler of all ponies was so upset. I recalled hearing that she had been adopted and so wasn’t really part of the Doo bloodline. Though I realized that there was a good chance that was why she was so upset. The adopted daughter flying the banner for the family that took her in. It made sense.
But if that were the case… “So if you don't mind me asking, what makes a pony go up to a complete stranger at a funeral and offer a hug?” Especially if said pony is a Shadowvar who practically worships the pony you’re holding such venom for, I mentally added, though thank Celestia I had enough tact not to voice that bit.
To my relief, I actually managed to get a smile out of her. “Oh, I dare you to ask that to my little sister,” she said with a mirthful little chuckle that made my heart leap. She had a beautiful laugh. I needed to make her do that more often.
“But that's not the whole story,” I pressed. “If it was, you'd have been hugging the life out of 'Lula. What made you choose me?”
She looked down at her hooves when she answered. “'Lula needs her dad and sister right now. You... you were kinduv alone.” It didn’t take training in reading body language to understand what she was thinking. An adoptee taken in at such an old age. It was obvious Sparkler had some experience in that particular area.
Time to switch gears again. I didn’t want her being sad when she was around me. For some reason I had this compulsion to make sure as much of the time she spent with me as possible was happy. “Yeah, that checks out,” I nodded. “Sorry. I'm more observant and analytical for my own good sometimes. Comes standard issue in officer trainee recruitment kits.” My keen instincts told me it was about time for a subject change.
“So why is a civvy attending a military funeral anyway?” I raised my hoof to forestall her reply. “Wait. I just answered my own question. Your mom's kinda entangled in my cousin's shenanigans, right?”
“Yeah,” she replied, still looking at her hooves.
Okay. Time to see if that Kicker charm Cloud is always harping on about runs in the family. I gave her my most winning smirk, aiming to lift her spirits. “You have my deepest condolences. I’ve often said somepony needs to follow Cloud around with a bucket of ice water to splash on her nethers.”
“You have NO idea… I had to perfect a silence spell.”
“Yeah, she has a talent for making ponies make some very odd sounds,” I agreed, remembering one night from my childhood when my over-amorous cousin had spent the night with us and even managed to bring a ‘friend’ along. “In fact, I’m a little surprised her cutie mark isn’t a… You know what? Let’s move right past that more than awkward train of thought, shall we?” Let it never be said I don’t learn.
“Thank you,” Sparkler shot back, an adorable grin on her face.
I chuckled, having finally succeeded in lifting her spirits. “You know something, Sparkler Doo? You’re alright. I’ve decided: We’re going to be friends.”
She pondered that for a few seconds, then gave me a slight nod. “Cool.”
And just like that we were friends.
