Off the Rails: Tanks for the Memories

by electreXcessive

Rating: mature
Tags: Romance, Comedy, Fluttershy, Crossover, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2247

Fluttershy eats a magic apple and goes to the land of Thomas. Fluttertrain sex ensues.

Fluttershy was having a pretty normal enough day, but then when she eats a golden apple that transports her to another world (and as a train), that day suddenly gets way weirder. Puns, train-sex, and much coal shoveling ensue as Fluttertrain's life goes... off the rails.

Choo choo, muddafucka.

Author's note: This is an undoubtably satirical troll work making fun of standard clop stories on site. Not meant to be taken seriously at all. A collaboration with: Roarin Thunder, A Big Sexy Walrus, and twow443.

Published 2014-01-20 21:10:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-20 21:10:03 UTC

Chew Chew!

Fluttershy sucked in as much air as she could as her eyes continued to scan the outskirts of the Everfree Forest. She didn’t know why she lived so close to the forest even though she hated it. Maybe it was something in the air, or that bunny that kept her as a hostage. Speaking of the little devil that kept her imprisoned in her own home, she had been searching for Angel for nearly an hour and a half at this point. She’d mostly kept to the outskirts, wanting to avoid going any deeper as she silently cursed the little rabbit. She didn’t understand why he always had to run away from home at the most inconvenient times in the most inconvenient places…

“Angel!” Fluttershy called out into the forest with as much force as she could muster, which was almost nothing. “Angel?! Where are you? Please come back…” She whimpered as the cold air blew against her coat, causing her to shiver.

Oh....I really don’t want to go in there… Fluttershy thought to herself as she shuffled back and forth on her hooves in indecision. She knew that she would be severely punished with whippings from a banana if she didn’t attempt to find him, so her choice was moot. Those bananas made very good banana splits afterwards...and they also secretly turned the butter pegasus on. Not that she’d ever admit it.

As Fluttershy’s mind began to wander to thoughts of large yellow phallic symbols, something strange began to happen somewhere further along in the forest, just at the edge of her sight. It looked like a bunch of flashes, or that could have been her twisted mind twisting even further into her slow descent into madness. Suddenly, her mind was filled with furious images of Care Bears and water buffalo angrily licking jars of peanut butter as they began to thru—

I think we just got off track here, didn’t we? Ahem...

Fluttershy finally began to walk, aiming for the strange flashes that she hoped wasn’t just another lie from her own mind. Her wings flapped behind her, but she didn’t fly. She wasn’t allowed. Or maybe she was, she could never remember. Either way, there was a weird golden glow coming from deeper within the forest, and something about it both intrigued and disturbed Fluttershy greatly. She felt her hooves moving of their own accord towards the golden light, causing her to squeal in fear as she was dragged along, as if her horseshoes were being pulled by magnets. Then again, maybe it would be better if she just went with the light so...that’s what she did.

It was three hours and twenty-six minutes before she reached the location of the golden light deep inside of the forest. It....was the biggest apple that the pegasus had ever seen in her entire life. It was bigger then the biggest dick she had ever seen, which explained why she was dripping like a waterfall from her lower half. And let me tell you, she’s seen some big dicks. Her slave master had one he was very proud of.

Her mouth began to drool as that big ass apple dropped right off the branch and practically right into her hooves. It was the most glorious golden color she’d ever seen, radiating with a brilliance that outmatched the sun, and an aura that could blind even Celestia herself with its sheer luminescence. Naturally, Fluttershy assumed that it was safe to take a bite, as she wasn’t yet deep enough in the forest for the plants to start really getting dangerous.

That, combined with the fact that she knew Applejack and therefore apples were sacred, caused her to feel a strange sense of comfort with the apple, thinking of it as a brother. Not to mention the fact that she was a fucking apple vampire bat and this shit is like the best apple ever, so it’s not like she could say no….

Without hesitation, she lifted the apple upwards and towards her ear and shoved it inside. It fit because her ear can expand to three times its size like a snake or something. Don’t you know that’s how vampire batponies work? Come on, it’s like the most common knowledge. Ponies learn that stuff in the second grade for crying out loud! Ahem… Anyway, the apple disappeared into her ear, but suddenly something felt very wrong. Before she knew it, Fluttershy felt her mind fogging up as her hooves gave out from under her, she felt a rumble deep inside of her, she started to feel an unpleasant tingle. It was coming from down-under. It was actually starting to feel pretty good. Her vagina started violently vibrating.

“O-oh, that feels nice” She moaned slightly.

“Sie haben keine ahnung hündin!” Her vagina shouted back. Fluttershy, startled, tried to formulate a coherent sentence.

“W-what-t?” She gasped.

“Genug!” Various tentacles spawned from her vagina grabbing her limbs and began pulling them, well… Into herself.

“W-what’s going on?” Her vagina only gave a bellowing laugh in return. Eventually Fluttershy vanished up her own puss. Pretty ironic considering she loved cats. This, of course answered the age old question “what would happen if your vagina suddenly started speaking and pulled you inside of it?” The answer being the rest of this story so pay attention!

Fluttershy opened her eyes, but it wasn’t the calm blinking that you usually do to wake up. It took a long time and she heard creaking during it. She was really confused, not that it wasn’t hard to confuse her per se, but still...

She wanted to rub the side of her face, but she couldn’t. She tried again and looked down...only to see that she didn’t have hooves. Or legs. Or the body of a pegasus. Hell, she’s lucky that she still possessed eyes at this point. It took her a bit of time to realize that her body was now really long and covered in metal. And she had wheels. And a giant-ass long pole sticking out of the top of her head.

Yup. Fluttertrain was now officially the best vehicle in the world. A train. Choo Choo! “W-w-what?” Fluttertrain gasped? Gasped? Hold on a minute. You want gasp or moan, electry?. Gasp Smiles. Okay. Fluttertrain gasped at the sudden change of bodily functions, her usual method of “locomotion” replaced by Trixie Wheels.

Fluttertrain moved to pout and complain, but suddenly something was shoved into her from behind. “W-wha?”

Behind her, a man had taken a shovel of coal and placed it inside her burning body, starting a series of reactions that made Fluttertrain begin to feel hot in more ways than one. The boiling water set fire to her steam rods, vibrating and igniting her inner fury… To fuel the pistons of course. Fluttertrain moaned in a stream of black smoke, flinching a bit.

Luckily for her, another train was coming up on the horizon. It was on the track opposite of her. This train happened to be painted blue and had a very disturbing looking white face. It seemed to be looking at her with it’s black irises.

“Hello there, who are you supposed to be?” Obviously a “He” asked her.

Fluttershy tried to look at him, but he had continued on his merry path outside her field of vision.

Fluttershy heard the sound of his horn recede before seemingly turning back around and coming back in her direction. She found that he was now on the opposite side of her where he finally stopped and seemed to be expecting her to say something.

“Ummm… My name is, Fluttershy,” she said while losing confidence while getting another look at his chalky face.

“Well, that’s a very nice name, Ms. Fluttershy. My name is, Thomas” Thomas said with a blow of his magnificent horn.

“That’s a very nice name, Thomas.” Fluttershy said while turning her eyes as far to the side as physically possible because trains can do that.

“Well, I’d like to give you a hug, Ms. Fluttershy!” Thomas said while growing arms out of his cheeks.

Fluttershy looked at those amazing arms with their bulging biceps and felt her engine get warm at the sight of them. But proper pony customs dictated that she should be shy, so that’s what she did.

“Oh my… I’m not sure that we should do that…” Fluttershy said with the quietest voice she could manage.

Thomas smiled, and several puppies died might I add, “But Ms. Fluttershy, I built these muscles just for you!”

Fluttershy looked around with sudden indifference. Maybe it was different here, maybe she didn’t have to be shy about things like this. Besides, those were some very nice biceps. She wondered how they worked like that. But there was no time to contemplate that.

Fluttershy had taken that time to consider it and finally reached a conclusion, “Well, I guess you can… If you wan- EEP!” She felt those big strong arms wrap around her metal sides.

Fluttershy felt black steam rising from her chimney hole, her tank was now covered in lubricating oil. She didn’t want this to go down the wrong track but she felt a strange energy take her over. Thomas began playing with the tip of her throttle.

“So you wanna… wet my whistle?” Thomas gave her a seductive grin. This really wasn’t good for Fluttertrain’s self esteam but the words that came out of her mouth were not what she’d intended.

You see, normally Fluttershy would’ve said no to a proposition like this. But she was feeling that steam in the air when she looked over again. That chalky face, those unfeeling eyes, and those amazing chiseled biceps. It didn’t help either that her engine was getting so worked up from the arms rubbing her sides. Nor the fact that the golden apple from early had turned her into a machine so horny that it would make Rosie O'Donnell blush at the mere concept. Slowly everything in her mind began to break down as her whistle began to blow quietly.

“Oh, Thomas, you creepy childhood icon that I should’ve realized was a symbol for child molesters in society a long time ago… Come ride my rails hard! I want to blow so much steam!” Fluttershy blushed as the words left her mouth, but there was no stopping it because the outline I wrote up there… Er… I mean, the plot, called for glorious train on train action. Because who the hell doesn’t have that fetish?

“I’m coming in full throttle!” Thomas yelled as his glorious arms lifted him onto the track behind Fluttershy. His throttle rod turned to full as he chugged towards Fluttershy backside. They wheels and bodies groaned in unison as Thomas’ front railway couplers connected with Fluttershy’s, coupling their wagons and hitching them together. Thomas groaned and reversed slightly before pushing as closely as he could towards Fluttershy, causing her wheels to groan from the strain.

Thomas smirked before opening his mouth, his long tongue snaking out and licking the inner floor of Fluttershy’s conductors cabin. As his course, bright pink tongue rubbed along the bumpy floor, he swore he could taste vanilla and buttercream for some reason, because that is totally what private areas taste like. And not like dirty or anything. That shit gets washed all the time of course. And people pour sugar all over it before… You get the point.

“Oh, Thomas! Conduct me like we’re on the Polar Express~!” Fluttershy moaned as she felt her engine heating up even more, her flues going into overtime as Thomas licked her insides.

“Okay, time to get serious…” Suddenly a large metal penis grew out of Thomas’ forehead as he began to shovel his coal into her furnace.

Fluttershy nearly busted a pipe as her pressure gauges rose to full and her cabin rocked back and forth as that smooth, metal penis kept thrusting into her hindquarters. She moaned as Thomas slowly began to pick up speed, shifting to full throttle as his head went deeper and deeper into her. Fluttershy for her part, was a virgin, so naturally she was like “Oh god this fucking hurts, please give me a second to recover!” but fuck that. Because Thomas is a baller. He don’t stop for virgins. Metal screeched again metal as she felt a pressure building up inside of her, before her whistle blew and she knew no more.

Thomas watched in awe as Fluttershy’s engine backed up and blew black smoke outward, which turned into a purple portal and began to suck Fluttershy back inside. Unfortunately for him, his penis was inside still and was ripped off, serving him right because he’s a misogynistic bastard advantage taker, and totally deserved castration. Because logic.

Fluttershy awoke with a start in her bed, sighing as she groggily lifted her head up. Judging by the darkness outside, it seemed to be somewhere in the early morning. Much to her surprise, Angel Bunny was lying at the foot of her bed, snoring lightly as he snuggled with one of her hooves. This caused her to smile gently.

“Oh Angel… I’m glad you’re safe… I just had the weirdest dream.”

Suddenly her eyes shot open as she put her head under her wing, pulling out a top. She span it on the table next to her bed, hoping against hope. And the top began to wobble slightly.

DUN.

The end.