P is for Topless!

by Bysen

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Comedy, Random, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1293

Skirt: check! Wig: check! Palm-palms: check! Hmm... is there anything I'm forgetting? I can't think of anything OFF THE TOP of my head.

Now with Dramatic Reading!~
I couldn't help but notice Pinkie Pie was topless in Rainbow Falls.
And as hot as it was to picture her humanized topless cheerleading, it ended up being funnier than smexy when I pictured it.

Pseudo troll fic. Written in just over an hour.

Published 2014-01-21 11:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-04 01:53:59 UTC

It's not streaking if...

Dramatic Reading!~ watch and listen, it has all the flavour links in it.

Chapter 1: It's not streaking if...

She’d gotten in a small bit of practice before the train ride. This was her first, and probably only, gig as a cheerleader. It was the perfect job for her, cheer on her friends, entertain a crowd and just generally have a good time. She twiddled her thumbs as the train crept slowly up the mountain. She was so close… but she couldn’t help but think she was forgetting something.

Twilight had always told her to make lists of everything she needed to do something, whether it was making a cake or cheerleadering. But why bother? She knew all the ingredients in a cake, so surely she could remember what she needed to be the bestest cheerer she could be.

As she finally finished putting on her uniform that Rarity has graciously made for her, she checked herself over. “Rainbow socks: check. Rainbow shoes: check. Rainbow wig: save that for a big later if I need to crank it up to 12.” because 11 was her standard. “Rainbow skirt: check. Rainbow undies… heh-heh… check” she giggled lifting up her skirt. “I think that’s everything.”

Without a second’s hesitation she bound out of the change room and into the train’s cabin, skipping along as always towards her seat and her palm-palms. All eyes were on her as she bounced around the train. She then tumbled forwards and flipped onto her back as the train began to slow. She lay there laughing at herself for a second before jumping up onto her feet in one swift motion.

“Alright girls, let’s go!” she cheered as she leapt out of the train. Though she couldn’t help but think she was forgetting something. She Just couldn’t remember what it was off the top of her head. ‘Hmm…off the top?’ she thought to herself.

“Um… Rarity?” Fluttershy asked. “The uniforms you made for us have shirts… right?” she added without even looking at Rarity, instead keeping her eyes trained on Pinkie running topless out into the crowd. Her breasts just bouncing all over the place as she did. Pinkie then stopped mid leap and mid air and gasped loudly. She raised her hands up to her chest and gasped loudly, which only attracted more attention towards her.

She turned and sprinted back towards the train as fast as she could. “Oh my gosh! I’m so embarrassed!” she half cried as she entered, her hand she up against her neck with her arms covering her breast. She quickly went over to her seat and rummaged through her bag before she found what she was looking for and quickly slipped it over her head and onto her shoulders. “How could I forget my horn?!” and with that she blew into the instrument and ran back outside.

They all just kept looking at their friend race through the crowd with all eyes on her. Fluttershy didn’t even hear Rarity say “Yes, she has a blouse… I’m afraid that’s just Pinkie being Pinkie.”

“So Twilight.” Rainbow spoke up [after wiping the drool from her mouth]. “You’re cheering for me too huh? It’d be a shame if my cheer squad’s uniforms didn’t match.” she said, wiggling her eyebrows and doing the face. Twilgiht however was still looking at Pinkie, giving a face of her own.

Meanwhile, out in the crowd.

There was more than just the relay try-outs going on today. The jousting try-outs were in full swing, as were Pinkie’s tits. As she ran past, numerous *ding* sounds could be heard coming from the men wearing jousting armour as well as from one oddly buff woman. She then continued on to the towards her destination: the relay try-outs.

Spitfire and no-name-blue-jerk-face, the two female members of the team, were both slack-jawed as the saw this girl jumping through the crowd, her boobs bouncing up and down, not even in sync, one going up while the other went down… and Soarin didn’t even give a buck. Spitfire whispered something to whatshername before they activated their Wonderdouche sunglasses and went over to him.

“Geese Soarin’, there’s a hot girl over there running around topless…” Spitfire told him. “For the sake of the Wonderbolts, could at least look at her and pretend not to be gay.” she snickered at her teammate’s expense.

“What? Her? Oh, oh yeah… she’s hot.” Soarin’ replied nervously. He wasn’t gay… he’d just slept with a guy named Braeburn once. Maybe twice… maybe a lot. Maybe last night. And this morning. He made the best pies! Still wearing her shades, Spitfire turned to Pinkie still just in the distance and bit her lip. Soarin’ looked at Pinkie Pie too and tried to copy Spitfire’s face.

They just laughed at him. He had to do something about this. Soarin’ came up with a plan, he’d pretend to get distracted by a ‘hot’ chick and injure himself later on during practice while everyone was watching him. That’ll prove he’s straight!

One fake injury later, not to mention the real one because Soarin’s a complete idiot who managed to ACTUALLY hurt himself while faking an injury, Rainbow Dash and her team had successfully qualified for the Equestria Games. In celebration all of them, including Derpy for some reason, took a photo together in which Pinkie basically pulled Snow Flake’s [or what his name is now] face into her breast. He visibly strained to contain himself.

It had been a long day and Pinkie was exhausted. She’d had to compete for attention with those cheerleaders from Cloudsdale. One of them wasn't even wearing panties… who does that!? Every time she cartwheeled or did the splits… but for now the day was over. She was slightly sad it was over but happy that she would get to cheer on her friends once more in episode 25 [I bet 10 bux the season ends at the games!] before shit goes down in 26.

“That was amazon you guys!” Rainbow Dash cheered. She was totally stoked about her ‘win’. She put her arm around both Pinkie and Twilight’s shoulders “Woulda been better though if my cheer squad had the same uniform… but oh well. Can’t have everything.” she said as her hands slowly slid down heading towards the two’s breasts. Twilight was about to pull away and cockblock [or whatever you do to a girl] Rainbow Dash’s advance when Pinkie Pie spoke up.

“What do you mean the same? We’re wearing matching uniforms.” she said, looking Twilight up and down [noticing Dash’s hand had found her target], then looking at her own shoes socks and skirt. “I mean, sure I have dreadlocks and Twilight looks like The Nanny but other than that we’re dressed the same!” she announced in slight confusion and was met by equally as confused looks on her friends faces.

“Um… Pinkie Pie.” Rarity said. She walked over to and past Pinkie, to her friend's bag and went through it a second before pulling out Pinkie’s top and showing it to her. Pinkie just stared at the shirt for a moment before her eyes widen. She broke away from Dash’s arm and headed towards a window.

It was dark outside to she was able to see her reflection quite clearly. she continued to stare at herself, remembering everything that had happened today. “Why… why didn’t you tell me…?” she pouted.

“Well dear, we uh… we just thought that…”

What Pinkie saw in her reflection was a red-headed girl wearing a bagpipe on her head, a kilted skirt and no top on… “I never knew… why didn't you tell me I was Scottish!”

Author's Note

I seriously think she looks Scottish.