I can't...

by Creed

Rating: teen
Tags: Sad, Romance
Length: 3130

When a Rainbow begins to falter, what will it do?

Rainbow Dash, a loyal pony to her friends and others who are need, simply can't find the answers. She simply can't go on and the guilt is eating her up. Not only that, but she wants to be a good friend, but her emotions keep getting in the way. Especially when these emotions play with your mind, making you see your friend in a different light. Will she falter from the emotional pressure, or will somepony come to her aid?

Written on the spot as a way to spark creativity and to see how well I can create a story without planning.

Written and Edited by Curify, aka Mr. Plot Point.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-21 09:06:01 UTC

Chapter 1 [Grammar Revised]

I can’t go on like this…

A rainbow-maned pegasus begins to sob, feeling down on herself.

Then talk to her.

Rainbow perks up, listening to a foreign voice enter her brain.

Talk to her about it, don’t just sit here...

Rainbow shakes her head, blocking out the foreign voice’s pleas to take action. She sighs, depressed by the sheer fact that she simply can’t. Deep inside her soul, there’s a cord that has been torn far too many times from past lovers.

She just can’t go on.

Rainbow begins to sob, attempting to cry once again for the umpteenth time. It’s been a battle of her emotions for the past few days over this issue.

She just wishes she could fix it all...

“SPIKE!” yells a feminine tone from the top of the library stairs.

A more masculine tone responds back irritatedly with a boom. “WHAT?!”

“I need you to contact Celestia to see if she has anymore copies of StarSwirl the Bearded Volume Twenty!”

“I thought you had that edition?” Spike questions, scratching his head with his claw.

“I do!” The feminine voice sighs. “But Rainbow damaged our only copy during her last tumble in here.”

Spike flinches at this a bit, remembering the event vividly.

“Are you still angry at her for doing…”

The now feminine character trots down the staircase, approaching her assistant with a saddened expression. “No…” She trots past him and looks out a window nearby, looking up towards the offender’s home. Spike notices her guilty expression and slips beside her. “Twilight…” he says with concern. She notices him and stretches out her wing, using it as a way to pull him closer to her. With her wing around her assistant, she looks back at the cloud home of her friend. “Rainbow, come back to me…”

Another glorious day in the quiet town of Ponyville. The streets are filled with ponies who are walking around, shopping at the local vendors, or simply finding a place for entertainment or food. Just…

“OOMPH”

...another day.

“RAINBOW?!” A familiar purple alicorn shouts in frustration.

A now winded pegasus lays silently on the ground due to her crash into the alicorn’s library.

“Why are you so crash prone?”

The pegasus hears the voice and immediately responds,

“Because…”

The now enraged alicorn comes up into the pegasus’ view, staring down at the now flustered Rainbow.

“Well?” the alicorn asks, wearing the most angered expression anypony would ever dream of seeing.

Rainbow Dash tries to respond, but all that came out was inaudible mutters of apologies. She couldn’t simply say the words ‘I’m sorry’ because she’s said the phrase so many times that it would sound like it's looped.

The alicorn notices Rainbow’s expression and sighs. Turning her head slowly into the direction of the damage, she says “Let’s see what damage you’v-”

The damage was extensive.

Her whole book rack filled with collectors’ editions of StarSwirl the Bearded was toppled. Every single copy of each volume had some form of damage to them. Whether there was a tear on the cover, a few pages ripped out of the binding, bruises on the covers, or even char marks on the pages or covers; all of the books would have to be replaced. It was a scene that Twilight wouldn’t ever had dreamed of seeing. Snapping her attention back to her friend, she glares menacingly at her asking, “What trick were you performing this time?”

Rainbow Dash recovers from seeing Twilight’s death stare, however; her nervousness still lurks behind her as if it was breathing down her neck. With a stutter in her voice, she replies, “I-I was doing-g a Blazing Corkscr-reww…”

Without any hesitation, Twilight counters, “Why were you doing it near my home?”

“Because…” the pegasus started before losing her train of thought.

“Get out.”

What?

“Get out Rainbow.”

“Why?”

“GET OUT!”

Startled by the unusual anger, Rainbow Dash gallops out of the house in fear for her life.

Twilight watches her friend gallop out of her home. Feeling her anger begin to drop, she sighs and shuts the now charred door. She’ll have to fix that later. Turning to the devastating wreck of her once clean and polished library, she sighs and looks at her assistant. Her assistant sees her expression and nods, turning to grab some cleaning supplies from the closet. It was going to be a long day, no thanks to Rainbow Dash.

On the other hoof, Rainbow was continuing her gallop, running away from the place she just destroyed. Why did she get so angry? It’s not like I do it al- Suddenly, she stops mid-gallop and sits down on her haunches. ...the time. Realizing that she lands in her friend’s home all the time, she begins to feel saddened and guilty.

All that pent up anger…all of it was because of me.

Pawing at the ground, she anxiously lets out a breath and mutters almost inaudibly, “Stupid featherbrain.”

Now frustrated by her own actions, Rainbow turns herself around and begins her short journey back to her friend’s house, preparing herself to apologize by coming up with options to say.

I could say that I’m sorry....

Shaking her head, she knows it would be a simple fix, but it doesn’t seem like it would be enough. After all, she has crashed so many times into Twilight's house that she’s lost count.

Well, what could I say?

Stopping once again to collect her thoughts, Rainbow sits down near a tree and leans on it. What could she truly say? The good old ‘I’m sorry’ bit has been said so many times. What else could she do?

I’m going to go home…

For the first time ever, Rainbow Dash begins her slow trot to her home, defeated and hurt. But this isn’t the only thing that will hurt her best friend…

This is just the beginning.

Chapter 2 [Grammar Revised]

Rainbow Dash is a loyal pony who will stick by her friends for anything. She’ll put her life on the line to save anypony that she is friends with. It’s all or nothing for her. She will try her hardest in what she does and she’ll feel so proud at what she will do.

But why does she feel like she’s not so proud at the moment?

“I’m a featherbrain…”

Feeling guilty, she turns to look down at her friend’s home, which she damaged in her latest collision with it. I need to make it up to her…

With a newfound objective, the pegasus springs into action, shuffling around her house. She needed to find the one book that would help anypony in this situation.

“AH HA!”

Grabbing the book with her wing, she turns and sits down on her cloud chair. Putting the book on the table, she opens it and begins to find the section she is looking for. Reading the passage, she smiles, knowing that the book will help solve her problems. With a quick flap of her wings, she rockets out of her chair, leaving the book behind on the table.

“I know how to fix this!” Rainbow shouts to the air, careening out of her house and flying towards Twilight’s library.

“Finally,” Spike barely breaths out, fatigued by the all day affair of cleaning up. After the crash happened, he and his best friend Twilight had to clean up the disaster area. This wasn’t an easy task due to the books being strewn about, bookcases being knocked over, and curtains being torn or mingled.

That crash definitely did a number on the home and Twilight wasn’t too happy about it.

Twilight moans out a cry, glad that the chore was finally over. They could finally rest and be away from the horror of Rainbow.

“Twi’?!”

Or not…

“Twi’ are you in here still?”

Still angry at her friend, she moves away from the door, quickly locks it with her magic, and closes all of her curtains, allowing no way for the outside world to peek in. With a huff, she turns to assistant and says,

“Time for guard duty, Spike.”

“Why do I have to do guard duty?”

“Because,” she starts. “I can’t deal with her at the moment.”

Without further complaint, the young dragon nods and turns to the door, leaving the alicorn princess to her own bidding. Leaning by the door, he begins to hear a voice emit from the opposite side.

“Twi! Please…” The voice shouts in desperation.

“Rainbow,” the dragon mutters, hearing the voice begin to break.

“I’m s-so sorry…” the voice continues, losing its ability to keep its bravado.

“Rainbow,” the dragon repeats, saying it a bit louder for the voice behind the door to hear.

“I wish...I could talk to you…” Wishing upon a miracle.

“Rainbow.” Irritation.

“I want to be with you.” Defiant in one’s claims.

“Rainbow!” Annoyance.

“I want you only to be mine.” Showing some signs of happiness from beneath the grey, harsh clouds.

Opening the door, the now annoyed dragon sees the sad yet determined pegasus standing in his midst. “Are you listening!?” Demanding one's cooperation.

“I love you.” Firmly stating a thought mindlessly.

Realizing she was saying all of those things aloud, she turns towards the now stunned dragon, its mouth wide open from the words she just stated.

“You what?”

Redder than the apples at Sweet Apple Acres, the pegasus looks down at the dragon, unable to form any words to the being.

He knows her feelings.

She now knows her feelings for Twilight.

What do I do?

As if both figures were frozen in time, they stand still, waiting for the other to take action and lead the conversation from its awkward start.

Luckily, Spike retrieves his mouth from the earth, hooking it back in place with a light slap.

“Rainbow, who do you love?” Spike asks.

Backpedaling away from the library door, she quickly stutters out, “No pony!” Masking true intentions.

“Are you sure?” Inquisitively questioning the previous declaration.

“I’m sure!” Uncomfortably lying through one’s teeth.

“I don’t believe you.” Approaching the lie head-on, directly to the forehead.

“W-well you should!” Pathetically responding, realizing the lying route was a huge mistake.

“I think you’re lying.” Confirming the doubt, using a wiggle of the eyebrow to tease the other party.

“No I’m not!” Denying what is true.

“Yes you are.” Calmly shooting back with defiance.

“N-no…” Losing ground.

“Yes….” Gaining the upper hoof.

“I don’t love…” Denying one’s emotions to mask oneself.

“Yes you do.” Shooting down the horrible attempt at concealing one’s obvious lie.

“I do…” Accepting the issue as a fact, eyes widening to show one’s surprise.

“I was right!” Excited, fist pumping the air to show one’s emotion.

“I love…” Unable to say the final words.

“Yes?” Waiting for the inevitable answer.

“I love…” Repeating the same phrase, struggling to say the last words.

“Yes!” Becoming impatient.

“I love T-”

“What are you two doing out here!?”

As if the world crashed around the two figures, the pegasus and dragon both yelp and take cover to avoid the alicorn's impending rage.

“Rainbow? Spike?” Twilight growls, pointing a hoof at the two who have been named.

Both shaking a bit in fear, the two reply nervously, “Y-Yes?”

“What are you two doing?”

With a flap of her wings, Rainbow shoots upright, knocking the poor young dragon to the ground. The dragon moans in pain, rubbing his head from the impact with the solid earth. For Rainbow, she needed to get her fanny out of there, before she causes anymore trouble. “I was just about to lea-” Rainbow says rapidly.

“Oh no you aren’t!” Twilight interrupts, pulling Rainbow in with her magic.

“I can’t!” Rainbow interjects, clearly not using her brain for her advantage.

“Why?” Twilight asks, curious as to what her friend had to say.

“Because! I’d hurt you if I said it!” Rainbow shouts, her eyes closed in fear of being reprimanded from her friend.

Stunned at the proclamation, Twilight sighs and says, “Leave.”

“But I-” Pleading to hear her case.

“No buts.” Reprimanding the other party as if they were a foal.

“But!” Continuing the plea despite the warning.

“Didn’t I just say no?” Demanding in a question.

“Yes…” Agreeing with what the first party said.

“And what are you doing?” Leading on in the right direction.

“Not listening…” Realizing her issue at hoof.

“So what are you going to do?” The final kicker.

“I’m going to go home…” Defeat and sadness enters her system.

“Good.” Failing awareness of the other party’s feelings. “Now, leave.” Firmly stating previous command.

For the second time in one day, the pegasus walks alone, feeling down and saddened by her friend’s denial of seeing her. I don’t want to lose her…

Feeling defeated, the pegasus flies up to her home, depressed and alone.

For the alicorn princess, she watches the shattered friend of hers fly away. With a huff, she turns and retreats back into her humble abode with her dragon in tow.

“Spike?” Twilight asks her assistant.

“What is it?” Spike replies, curious of her intentions.

Blinking blankly at her dragon, she asks the most confusing question of all time. “What did I just do?”

Chapter 3

Chapter 3 - I can’t…

By Curify

Night time has now ascended over Ponyville, it's grasp gripping onto the landscape for the remaining duration it has left. Despite this deathly grasp, many ponies enjoy the night. Most linger about, going into late night clubs and partying til they drop, or they enter a pub to drink their problems away. Other ponies grab a hold of their loved ones, taking a nice night time stroll through the park. Nights like these are always open, allowing many to tap into it for some fun.

So why was Rainbow Dash sobbing?

For Rainbow, she was heartbroken. Not only did she screw up once by running straight into her friend’s home, but also giving her sass and almost blowing her cover.

Wait, what cover?

Rainbow suddenly stops her crying as if she heard a loud noise that shook her emotions away.

“What cover?” she asks to herself, confused by her own statement.

“I want to be with you.”

Rainbow shutters a bit, remembering the first phrase of her supposed ‘cover’. Popping her head off her cloud pillow, she began to continue hearing her voice.

“I want you only to be mine.”

“Why did I say that?” Rainbow asks, puzzled by the view.

“I love you.”

“I don’t love her…” Rainbow says, denying her previous claim with a scrunch of her muzzle.

“You what?”

“I don’t…” Rainbow denies, her facial expression shifting from a softened look to a saddened, downtrodden expression.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Y-you…” Stuttering, unable to respond to the voice. With a sigh, she lays back down and grasps her cloud pillow to her chest. Again the sadness takes over, causing Rainbow to sob and shake uncontrollably.

“I think you’re lying.”

“N-no, I’m not!” She stutters, tightening her grip on her pillow.

“Yes you are.”

“I’m not!” Rainbow shouts, denying the claims with defiance. “I’m not in love with her!”

“I love T-”

The world she once knew, now confuses her. She said she loved Twilight, but now shes at war with her feelings. These new, irrational thoughts that she can’t keep a hold of, swarming her mind like the changeling invasion. I wish Twilight was here…

Groaning at her mind’s betrayal, she flips over and puts the pillow over her head. I’m just going to lay here.

Laying in complete dismay, the pegasus begins to drift away, allowing her to embrace her dreamland of purple and grey.

It’s been two days since the disaster at the library happened.

Twilight has been doing fine, the damage has been cleared and the charred door has been replaced with a brand new one. The only difference with this door is that it’s fireproof. With all of outside repairs complete, the only things left to replace are all the books that were damaged. It’s been a tedious process to say the least. Most of the books had to be re-ordered due to the horrifying condition they were in, while others were in good enough condition to be put back on the shelves. For Twilight, seeing that at least half of her inventory had been damaged, surprised her the most. Most of the time, Rainbow Dash’s crashes weren’t so devastating. She would either hit her head on one of the shelves and topple a few books over, or simply hit the door and slump to the floor. Why did this one suddenly turn her library into a war zone?

With the question in her mind, she begins to list the possibilities. Was she wanting to become a spy with torches on her wings? Was she practicing her new dive-bombing technique? With all these possibilities fluttering in her mind, she couldn’t help but think back to how she reacted to the situation…

“Get out.”

“Get out Rainbow.”

“Why?”

“GET OUT!”

“What was I thinking?” Twilight mutters frustratingly, wondering why she yelled at her friend. “I wasn’t angry at her for simply crashing.” Twilight continues to ponder over the issue, while continuing her daily duties around the house.

Or were you?

Dropping the book in her magical grip, she moves over and sits down on the couch, looking around nervously in search of the voice. “No…I was jus-”

Just what? Antagonizing your friend?

“No…”

Thought she was somepony else for a while? Using her as a way to get back at ‘her’?

‘Her’ she thought. Her. The pony who Twilight fell in love with and tore Twilight to pieces when she left. The pegasus who flew away, promising to come back, but stabbed Twilight through the heart with her letter, telling her that it was over. The pain, the suffering, the hurt. The emotions begin to spring up, wrapping her in a tight grip. She has no escape.

“I...I did think it was her!” the unicorn moaned out, attempting to keep her emotions in tact.

Did she crash into your library too?

“No…” Beginning to lose ground, whimpering a bit.

Did she apologize when she did something wrong?

“N-no…” Stammering a bit, beginning to choke up.

Was she loyal to you and your friends?

“No-o…” Losing her battle of her emotions, beginning to curl up in a ball.

So then how is Rainbow ‘her’?

Twilight couldn’t answer the roving question due to the tense feeling in the back of her throat. She didn’t know the answer. She’s failed. I failed her… Realizing the faults she’s committed, she begins to sob which causes several salty drops to slide down her cheek. She failed. She’ll be losing a friend.

Or will you?