An Apple Amidst Craziesby KevinltkChaptersA Crazy StartCrazy CrittersCrazy ObsessionsCrazy ExperimentsCrazy RecipesPinkie PieA Crazy StartMost mornings for Applejack and Big Mac consisted of various chores and duties that kept Sweet Apple Acres running. But with applebucking season right around the corner, the two ponies knew their workload was going to increase. While Apple Bloom was at school, and Granny Smith was dozing off back at the house, the siblings agreed to take some time off to rest up for the harvest, as well as spending some quality brother and sister time together, with a relaxing game of horseshoes. “Woo wee! You see that toss, Big Mac? That’s a ringer! Ah think we can just go ahead and say that Ah’m the winner,” Applejack playfully boasted. “Nnnope!” was Big Mac’s response. Taking a horseshoe in his mouth, Big Mac eyed the stake that was his target. With a deft flick of his head, he released the horseshoe, smugly grinning at Applejack as it cleanly hit the stake. Applejack rolled her eyes and chuckled at Bic Mac’s antics. “Yea, yea, let me show how it’s done.” She picked up her next horseshoe and moved into place for her turn. An evil smirk flashed across Big Mac’s face as he watched Applejack carefully aim her throw. With all the stealth and subtlety a big red pony can muster, Big Mac sneaked up behind his sister. Just as Applejack was about to toss her horseshoe, Big Mac unleashed his diabolical plan. “Boo!” “YAAAAAGH!” THWACK Thinking back a bit, Big Mac realized that startling a pony from behind was probably not such a smart idea, especially if that same pony had developed legs, strengthened by years of farm work, that could deliver a kick that felt akin to being hit by a train. Big Mac got to spend a whole second contemplating his failed plan and Applejack’s legs as he sailed through his impromptu flight before crashing into a pile of barrels. “Uh, you alright, Big Mac?” Applejack asked, still a bit dazed about what had just transpired. “Eeyup,” replied the pile of wood. “Should we just say it’s a tie and call it a day?” “Eeyup.” “Right… Well, Ah guess we should clean up.” Seeing that Big Mac was not budging from beneath the wreckage, Applejack amended her statement. “Maybe Ah should clean up while you rest a bit.” After picking up most of the horseshoes, Applejack swiveled her head around, looking for something. “Hey, did you see where my last one landed? Ah lost track of it when you gone and surprised me.” Groaning, Big Mac’s head popped out of the remains of the barrel massacre. To his good fortune, he immediately found the missing horseshoe as it conveniently dropped down from Applejack’s accidental toss into the air. CLANG And right onto his aching head. Applejack winced as soon as she saw the bonding of metal and her brother’s head. “You alright, Big Mac?” Applejack asked again with concern. His eyes spinning, Big Mac replied, “Nnnope,” before flopping backwards into the debris with another crash. Crazy CrittersWith Big Mac having to nurse his injuries and pride from what he and Applejack were referring to as ‘the horseshoe incident’, Sweet Apple Acres was going to be down one hardworking pony for the upcoming applebucking season. Applejack recalled the last time Big Mac got injured and was unable to help with the harvest. She had tried to do all the applebucking by herself, and, because of her stubbornness, she refused help from others, practically working herself to the bone. To make matters worse, she had promised to help her friends with various tasks, which, in her exhausted state, ended up doing more harm than good. She felt horrible for poisoning half the town with baked bads and traumatizing the other half with a bunny stampede. Facing the exact same situation, she knew the right way to handle it was to go ask her friends for help this time. With her friends filling in for her brother’s absence, Applejack was glad that she was not going to have to deal with any insanity. Seeing as how often Fluttershy came over to Sweet Apple Acres to help deal with the animals anyway, Applejack started off her search for help with the yellow pegasus. As Applejack trotted up the path to Fluttershy’s cottage, she wondered if maybe her friend would be too busy tending to the various animals that lived or frequently visited the caretaker’s home. Applejack softly knocked on Fluttershy’s door when she approached it, knowing that even knocking too loudly could send the easily frightened pegasus into a state of panic. A smile appeared on her face as the door started to slowly open. “Howdy there, Flu—” Applejack’s mouth froze when she saw who had opened the door. Instead of her shy friend, a big bear, slightly slouching as his head barely scraped the ceiling, greeted her. Not too many ponies can come face to face with a bear without pausing. Fortunately, Applejack was one of those ponies, having survived the many dangers and challenges she and her friends had faced. Unfortunately, this bear was able to stop Applejack in her tracks just from his appearance. More specifically, the frilly, pink ballerina outfit it was wearing. The little tiara on his head was not helping Applejack deal with what she was seeing. An uncomfortable silence descended on the pair as they stared at each other, both unsure of how to respond to the other. Quickly shaking some sense back into her head, Applejack remembered why she was there before she got distracted by the hairy pink thing. “Uh, hi. Nice… look you got there.” The bear smiled and nodded in approval at the praise, not noticing the awkward tone. “Is Fluttershy home?” Applejack asked, hoping that she can get things moving to save time and her sanity. The bear nodded again before turning around and letting out a low roar. A soft voice called back, “Oh, who’s at the door, Harry?” Applejack gave a small sigh of relief and smiled as Harry, as well as the awkward situation, was replaced by Fluttershy at the door. “Howdy, Fluttershy.” “Hello, Applejack. Sorry that I had to let Harry answer the door. I was out in the backyard treating an otter’s injuries. The poor dear got hurt practicing his skateboarding tricks,” Fluttershy explained, bowing her head slightly in apology. “Don’t worry about it. Ah know lots of animals depend on you when they’re in need,” Applejack reassured. Her smile was replaced by a confused look when she recalled something odd about Fluttershy’s explanation. “Wait, why was an otter skateboardin’?” “Well, you see, we heard about a new circus that is looking for more acts and performers, and some of the animals are really excited to get a chance to be stars.” “Ah guess that’s why that bear was wearin’ all that frou-frou stuff, huh.” Applejack chuckled. “Oh no, Harry just likes to wear it. He says it makes him look pretty,” Fluttershy replied with a smile. Applejack’s chuckle was instantly replaced by a skeptical look. “Right… Anyway, Ah was hopin’ you could help out with the applebuckin’. Big Mac got injured and is—” “Big Mac got hurt?! Oh, the poor dear. How did it happen?” Fluttershy interrupted, worry etched onto her face. “Uh, he got hurt,” Applejack nervously replied, not wanting to reveal how Big Mac got hurt as well as feeling a bit embarrassed about the whole event. Fluttershy cocked her head in confusion at Applejack’s odd response. “Um, yes, you already said that, Applejack. How did he get hurt?” “He got hurt,” Applejack repeated, her gaze drifting towards the sky as her mouth scrunched up. An awkward silence once again prevailed at Fluttershy’s doorstep. Applejack began to nervously sweat as she felt Fluttershy’s bewildered gaze staring right at her, slowly unraveling her impressive web of deceit. “Okay…” Fluttershy relented, eliciting a sigh of relief from Applejack. “Anyway, I would love to help you out, but the animals really need me around to help them practice their acts. I’m also worried that they might get hurt while practicing.” Averting her gaze from Applejack, Fluttershy hid behind her hair. “You’re not mad, right?” her voice barely above a whisper and with a hint of fear. Applejack gave a warm smile at Fluttershy’s explanation. The kind caretaker cared for the animals almost like they were own children. “Aww, come here, you.” Applejack leaned in, giving Fluttershy a hug. “You don’t have to worry about anythin’, sugarcube. You and the animals care about each other a lot. Not only that, you’re helpin’ some of them with their dreams. That’s somethin’ you should never feel sorry for.” Fluttershy returned a smile at Applejack’s reassurance. The heartwarming moment did not last long though as a loud crash was heard to their side. The two friends turned to see what caused the commotion. Judging by the giant pile of fur and feathers that now lay before them, a few of the practicing animals must have crashed into each other. “Oh, my babies!” Fluttershy cried out, rushing over to the animals. “Is any animal hurt? Does anyone need bandages? Stretcher? Defibrillator?” Applejack chuckled as Fluttershy fussed over the animals. She could see that Fluttershy was overreacting, treating each animal as though they had suffered some grievous injury when in reality, the worst was just a minor scratch or two. “Ah should be goin’ now, Fluttershy. Good luck to your critters with the circus thing,” Applejack called out, even though it was ignored as Fluttershy frantically treated non-existing injuries. Well that was interestin’, Applejack thought as she trotted away from the caretaker’s cottage. Hopefully my other friends won’t be caught in crazy situations. Crazy ObsessionsAfter leaving Fluttershy and the aspiring animals, Applejack decided to go see Rainbow Dash next. If Sweet Apple Acres did not get a good harvest from applebuck season, then there would be less time and fewer apples to dedicate to their famous cider. Since Rainbow had what could be seen as an unhealthy obsession for the cider, Applejack knew the thirsty pegasus would go to great lengths to prevent a shortage of the drink. As Applejack approached Rainbow’s house, she saw the very pony she wanted to see digging through an enormous bag that could fit any pony inside it. The busy pegasus was so occupied with her work that Applejack was able to walk right up to her unnoticed. Smirking, Applejack yelled out, “Howdy, Rainbow!” Instead of jumping up in fright, like Applejack expected her to do, Rainbow froze at the sound of Applejack’s voice. Slowly getting up and turning around, she responded with a hint of nervousness in her voice, “Oh, uh, hey, Applejack. What’s up?” Nothing suspicious here at all, Applejack thought as she rolled her eyes. “What’s in the bag, Rainbow? Goin’ somewhere or is this some harebrained prank you’re tryin’ to pull?” Applejack asked as she leaned a bit to the side, trying to get a peek at the contents of the bag. Rainbow leaned over a bit, just enough to block Applejack’s vision of the bag. “Nothing,” she drawled out in response to the questions. Applejack met the response with an unamused stare. Rainbow sighed. “Alright, alright. I’m heading over to Canterlot. Daring Do is doing a book signing of her newest book, and I want to head up there and get her to hang out with me.” Applejack chuckled at Rainbow’s answer. “Sugarcube, we all know you pretty much worship her. That’s too bad you have to go though. Ah was hopin’ to get your help harvestin’ the apples. Big Mac got hurt, so he won’t be able to do any applebuckin’ for a while. Without any help, we might not have enough apples ready for the upcomin’ cider season.” Rainbow’s eyes shot wide open at the dire news. “No cider?!” she cried out in fear. Groaning in frustration, Rainbow sat down as she brought her forehooves to her head. Applejack could see Rainbow was conflicted and carefully weighing her options. Seeing the usually brash pegasus in such deep thought was a rare sight for her. She just wished it did not have to be a decision between one obsession over another. Rolling her eyes yet again at Rainbow’s antics, Applejack offered a solution. “Look, sugarcube, Ah know you really like Darin’ Do and her books, so don’t worry about the cider. Ah can go ask some of our other friends to help out. Go ahead to that book thing.” A huge smile appeared on Rainbow’s face as she launched into the air, performing a few loops in joy. “Woo hoo! Thanks, Applejack! As soon as I get back, I’m coming over to help out the cid—er, you. Anyway, I got to head out now if I want to make it in time. See ya!” Rainbow quickly grabbed her bag, but because she forgot to close it in all the excitement, the contents within spilled out as soon as the bag left the ground. Rainbow gasped in horror as she saw her belongings land in front of Applejack. Applejack sat down to get a closer look at the interesting objects. Questions raced through her mind as she identified what she was looking at. “Rainbow, why are you bringing rope to a book signing?” Applejack asked, an eyebrow rising. “Uh, in case I wanted to practice those rope thingy stuff you do?” Rainbow answered even though it sounded more like a question. “What’s this then?” Applejack picked up a bottle from the pile. Her eyes flew open as she read the label. “What the hay, Rainbow!? Why in Equestria do you need chloroform!?” Rainbow quickly flew over and grabbed the bottle of chloroform. She nervously laughed as she hid the bottle behind her. “Heh heh… Oh, that? I was planning to take a nap during the train ride. You know how much trouble I have sleeping,” Rainbow explained, beads of sweat starting to drip down her face. Applejack returned the flimsy excuse with a flat stare. “Rainbow, you pretty much spend more time nappin’ than actually bein’ awake. Where did you even get this?” “I was just flying around yesterday when I crashed, er, found a stash of bottles in a tree.” Applejack scoffed at Rainbow’s explanation. “Do you really think Ah’m goin’ to believe that somepony just leaves a stash of chloroform in some random tree, and you just happened to find it?” “I’m telling the truth, honest!” Rainbow retorted. Applejack was surprised that she was not getting dizzy as she rolled her eyes yet again because of Rainbow’s odd behavior. Knowing that her friend was likely not going to tell her the truth anytime soon, Applejack tried to figure out what the weird items would be used for. When the pieces started falling into place in her mind, Applejack sighed as she brought one of her forehooves to her face. “Rainbow, please don’t tell me you are goin’ to do what Ah think you are goin’ to do.” “If you mean you are thinking that I might be going to Canterlot to kidnap Daring Do and bring her back to my place, so we can be best friends forever… then no, I am totally not doing that,” Rainbow kind of confessed as her eyes nervously darted around. The oblivious pegasus’s unintentional confession caused both of Applejack’s forehooves to meet her face. “You can’t be serious. Rainbow, you are not goin’ to Canterlot and kidnap Daring Do to keep her for yourself. End of story.” “Aww.” Rainbow bowed her head in disappointment, a frown appearing on her face. Suddenly, her head shot back up, a small grin adorning her face, as she not so discreetly took out a rag from the bag with her free hoof and hid it behind her along with the chloroform. Rainbow’s shenanigans were giving Applejack’s face a thorough workout as one of Applejack’s eyebrows once again went up in curiosity. Applejack silently watched the unusual pegasus as she fidgeted around, clearly doing something behind her back. Rainbow then brought out the rag, presenting it in front of her and dripping with liquid. “Uh, hey, Applejack, does this rag smell bad to you?” Rainbow asked with a smile that was too wide on her face. Applejack gave Rainbow a flat look at the obvious trap. In her mind, Applejack was lamenting over the fact that she did not have enough hooves to show her face how frustrated and embarrassed she was with her desperate friend. Needing time to figure out how to defuse the insane pegasus, Applejack decided to humor the crazed pegasus by leaning in close to the rag and pretended to sniff, careful to not breathe in. “Ah, don’t smell anything.” Rainbow gave a confused look as she stared at the rag. “Really?” Bringing the rag in front of her face, Rainbow took a big sniff. Rainbow’s eyes then glazed over as she fell back. Applejack blinked a couple of times, still processing the bizarre turn of events. “Ah can’t believe that just happened.” With a sigh and a frown on her face, Applejack prodded the unconscious Rainbow Dash. “Yep, out cold,” she muttered, shaking her head in exasperation. “Guess Ah should bring all this with me to keep them out of her hooves,” Applejack said, packing up all the illicit equipment back into the bag. “Well, at least she won’t end up getting a restraining order today.” Applejack slung the filled bag onto her back and trotted away, leaving Rainbow in her stupor. Ah should go see Twi and Spike next, so Ah can also tell Twi how readin’ is not good for Rainbow’s health. Crazy ExperimentsAs Applejack made her way through Ponyville, she noticed quite a few ponies giving her odd looks, most likely due to Rainbow Dash’s oversized bag on her back that had to be kept away from the deranged pegasus. Applejack let out an exasperated sigh. Dang it, Rainbow. You’re not goin’ to see a drop of cider for a really long time. Finally arriving at the Golden Oaks Library, Applejack set the heavy baggage down on the ground and knocked on the door. As she waited for someone to answer, she opened the bag, making sure all of Rainbow’s tools of the dunce were present. The door opened to reveal Spike. “Hi, Applejack, what’s up?” he greeted with a smile. Spike’s eyes drifted down and noticed the open bag, as well as its contents, at her hooves. “Whoa, what’s with all this stuff?” Applejack rolled her eyes, the memory of Rainbow’s antics still fresh in her mind. “Rainbow’s stuff. Don’t ask. We just have to make sure she doesn’t get these back.” “Uh, okay,” Spike replied as he looked closer into the bag of goodies. “Hey, I could take these off your hooves if you want.” “Spike, why in Equestria would you need this stuff?” Applejack asked, not wanting a repeat of what had happened with Rainbow Dash. “It’s for Twilight. You know how she is with books and studying. Sometimes, I need a little help to get her to go to sleep or even get her attention.” “Ah’m not sure whether to be happy or worried that you are willing to use these kind of things just to look out for Twilight.” Spike shrugged at Applejack’s comment. “You try living with her for a while. Desperate times calls for desperate measures, and believe me, there are a lot of desperate times.” On one hoof, Applejack was a bit uncomfortable giving the questionable items to Spike, but on the other hoof, she did not feel like lugging around the bag around Ponyville as she visited the rest of her friends. Spike’s need for the bag’s contents was for a good, although a bit extreme, cause. “Alright, Spike, Ah guess you can take the stuff. At the least, Ah know you’ll use them more responsibly than Rainbow.” “Thanks, Applejack,” Spike replied as he brought the bag into the library. “Ah would say it was no problem, but Ah think Rainbow would disagree with me. Goin’ off what you said, Ah don’t think Twilight will either. Speakin’ of Twilight, where is she?” Spike let out a long sigh. “She’s down in the basement. A shipment of science junk came in earlier today. She always gets crazy when a new shipment comes in and tries to come up with new experiments. The problem is that it always goes horribly wrong, and I end up having to help clean up the mess. The whole process repeats until she ends up in the hospital.” Applejack cocked her head in confusion at the rather thorough explanation. “That’s oddly… specific. Does this happen often?” “Yep,” Spike replied. “She’s been like this ever since she started studying with Princess Celestia. As she grew, so did the experiments and, as a result, so did the explosions. I heard rumors that the place we used to live in was condemned as a biological hazard. “What’s even worse now is the fact that she’s a princess. She has access to all sorts of weird stuff. I pretty much have to know what’s going to happen down to the second if I’m going to survive living with her,” Spike explained. He glanced at a clock on the wall. “In fact, here we go in three… two… one…” A soft boom came from the basement. A trail of smoke followed a few seconds later. “I’m okay!” Twilight’s voice called out from below. Applejack’s raised an eyebrow in concern at what had just transpired. “Uh, shouldn’t we go down and check on her?” Spike dismissed the notion with a bored wave of his claw. “Nah, that was a small one. She can take care of those by herself. You’ll know when I have to go do something.” “No offense, to the girl, but it sounds like she’s goin’ through a lot of trouble for nothin’,” Applejack said, a bit frightened at what she had just heard. “Don’t get me wrong, she has made some cool stuff from her experiments like turning gold into cookies. I just wish it wasn’t so messy and traumatic. Anyway, sorry, Applejack, but with Twilight busy with her experiments, and me having to clean up her mess, we won’t be able to help out.” Applejack gave a sigh of disappointment before returning a small smile. “Ah understand, Spike. Those sciencey stuff are important to her, and you have to watch out for her. She’s lucky she got such a great assistant.” Spike puffed out his chest with pride at Applejack’s praise. “Ah should get goin’ and see if any of our other friends can he—” A loud explosion boomed from the basement, causing Applejack to jump up in surprise. The trail of black smoke was replaced by large billows of orange smoke and the smell of oranges. “Spike, I need emergency kit five zero two! Now!” came Twilight’s frantic yells. Spike took another look at the clock. “Sorry again, Applejack, but I got to go and help her out this time. According to the schedule, this is the last time today before she has to go to the hospital,” Spike explained nonchalantly. “Uh, should Ah go there and get them to send somepony?” Applejack asked, a worried look on her face. “Save yourselves! The oranges are coming! The oranges are coming!” Twilight’s shouts rang from the basement. “Nah, I went out earlier and told them the usual was happening. They should be here in a few minutes. Just two more paramedic visits, and we get a free prize!” Spike stated as he made his way towards the basement stairs. “Right… Ah think Ah’ll just be going now,” Applejack said as she turned away. “They’re in my nose! Oh why are they in my nose!?” were Twilight’s last words that Applejack heard before breaking into a sprint, desperately trying to get away from the insanity. Crazy RecipesDue to her hasty retreat from Golden Oaks Library, Applejack made good time at getting to Carousel Boutique in hopes of enlisting Rarity’s help. Applejack took a moment to catch her breath as well as preparing some choice words. While the fashionista was not an avid fan of farm work, Rarity’s generous nature, along with some prodding, would eventually overcome her rather fussy nature. The bell above the front door rang as Applejack entered the building. “Rarity? You home?” Applejack called out as she looked around, noticing that the usually packed showroom was devoid of any clothes or fabric. “Oh hello, Applejack. I’m in the kitchen. I’ll be right out,” came Rarity’s voice from the other room. Peeking into the kitchen, Applejack saw Sweetie Belle. She was busy stirring what looked like batter in a bowl. Rarity was standing right behind her, closely overseeing the task. What really caught Applejack’s eye was what they were wearing. Both unicorns were equipped with a heavily padded dress that was adorned with small gems and lace. Over their heads, they each wore a helmet with a plastic visor, protecting their faces from who knows what. Applejack was reminded of the police riot gear she sometimes saw in movies except more frou-frou. Given how the day’s events has been turning out, Applejack had a feeling she was probably going to regret it as she asked, “What are you girls up to?” “Sweetie Belle, you just keep on stirring that dough nice and slow while I have a quick chat with Applejack. And please don’t touch anything else,” Rarity said as she directed Applejack to walk with her back into the showroom. “Yea, yea, Rarity,” replied Sweetie Belle. “Geeze, just a few exploding cupcakes, and I’m not allowed to do anything,” she muttered to herself. Applejack gave an odd look at Sweetie, not sure if she heard that last part right, as she moved out of the kitchen. “So what can I help you with, Applejack?” Rarity asked when they stepped into the showroom. “Ah was goin’ to ask if you could help with some applebuckin’, but it seems you’re kind of busy doing… something,” Applejack said, getting a good look at Rarity’s outfit. “Ah yes, I’m sorry, but Sweetie Belle is staying over for a while, and I promised to do whatever activity she picked with her. As you probably saw, she chose baking,” Rarity explained. “Okay, but what’s with the getup?” Applejack asked as she pointed a hoof at Rarity’s gear. Rarity took a quick look back at the kitchen before leaning in towards Applejack to speak in a lowered voice. “I love Sweetie Belle with all my heart, but it’s just that her cooking skills frighten me. I’ve seen her do things I didn’t think were possible with just cooking ingredients. Horrible things!” Knowing her friend’s flair for the dramatic, Applejack could not help but chuckle at Rarity’s reasoning. “Ah’m sure you’re just exaggerating. Sure, Sweetie Belle might be bad at cooking, but lots of ponies are also terrible at it. How did you convince her to wear the suit anyway?” “I told her it was the latest in cooking fashion.” “Ah’m also pretty sure protective gear doesn’t have to be so frou-frou.” “A lady must always look her best even when facing impending doom,” Rarity stated as she proudly lifted her head. Sweetie’s shrill shriek suddenly snapped the two ponies out of their conversation. Running into the kitchen, Applejack’s eyes widened in shock when she saw Sweetie Belle backing away from the mixing bowl, which somehow had a roaring fire coming out of it, as well as a spilled carton of milk lying next to it. “Sweetie Belle! What did you do?!” Rarity shrieked as she grabbed an already prepared fire extinguisher off to the side in her magic, using it to put out the fire. “I was getting tired with all the stirring, so I thought I would add some more milk to make it easier. All I did was pour a little bit more, honest!” Sweetie Belle replied, pointing towards the milk carton on the ground. Applejack’s jaw was agape as she pondered the implications of how Sweetie Belle was able to set things on fire with milk. Rarity briefly turned towards the stunned Applejack, giving her a ‘I told you so’ look, before shifting her attention back to inspect the bowl and address her sister. “Sweetie Belle, you know I told you not to add anything without me. Fortunately, for some odd reason, the batter didn’t burn at all, so I guess we don’t have to start from scratch again. Turning back to Applejack, Rarity apologized, “Again, I’m deeply sorry, Applejack, but as you can see, Sweetie Belle needs my full attention. Will you be alright with your apple harvest?” A look of concern was on her face. “Aw shucks, Rarity. Ah’m happy you are spending time with your sister. Don’t worry about me, Ah’ll figure somethin’ out,” Applejack replied after regaining her train of thought after the impromptu pyro show. “Thank you for understanding, darling.” “You two have fun now,” Applejack said as she started to make her way out. “We will, Applejack! Bye!” chirped Sweetie Belle. Grabbing the bowl from the floor in her hooves, she quickly opened the oven and shoved the whole thing inside. With a slam, the oven door was closed, and Sweetie Belle turned the dial all the way to the max. “Wait, Sweetie Belle! Don’t do that!” Rarity screamed as she rushed to the oven, a horrified look on her face. Sensing that another disaster was literally cooking, Applejack found herself fleeing yet another of her friend’s home. Pausing a short distance away to look back at the Carousel Boutique, Applejack wondered if Rarity would be fine. Two shrill screams echoed from within the shop. That doesn’t sound good. Maybe Ah should go back and help out. Applejack tapped her chin with a forehoof as she contemplated about what to do. Suddenly, a wave of cookie dough crashed through the kitchen window as the screams continued to ring from the building. Hmm… Nah. Noting that the still flowing dough was dotted with chocolate chips, Applejack walked away, at a rather brisk pace, towards Sugar Cube Corner. Ah’m sure they’ll be fine. That reminds me, Ah could go for a chocolate chip muffin now. Pinkie PiePinkie Pie was Applejack’s last stop and hope in her not so successful recruitment to help with the apple harvest. Although, after what she had experienced today, Applejack was starting to wonder if maybe some of her friends would actually make things worse through some bizarre twist that would defy the laws of common sense. Maybe Pinkie would offer a reprieve from the insanity she was experiencing today. Applejack paused as she recounted the thought that had just passed her mind. Letting out a long exasperated sigh, Applejack resumed her march. “Let’s just get this over with,” she grumbled, resigning herself to whatever fate had in store for her. As she neared Sugarcube Corner, Applejack saw Pinkie Pie hop out from behind the bakery. She was pulling a cart piled so high with various stuff, it almost reached the height of Sugarcube Corner. “Uh, howdy, Pinkie,”Applejack called out, staring at the cart. “Applejack!” Pinkie Pie yelled as she turned towards Applejack, a large smile on her face. To Applejack’s horror, Pinkie sped towards her, the cart trailing close behind. “Whoa! Slow down there, girl!” Applejack yelled as she quickly turned to flee from the incoming train of hugs and pain. She did not make it farther than a few steps as a huge weight tackled her to the ground, giving her face an unscheduled meeting with the dirt. Groaning, Applejack slowly lifted her head and looked behind her to assess the damage. The first thing she saw was Pinkie’s smile. It was the only thing she saw because Pinkie’s face was literally shoved right into Applejack’s. “Hi!” Pinkie chirped. Applejack returned the greeting with an unamused glare. “Sugarcube, please get off me.” “Okie dokie!” Pinkie complied, hopping off her latest victim. Applejack got up, taking note that, through the wonders and mysteries of Pinkie Pie, not a single item fell off her assaulter’s cart. “Ah know Ah’m goin’ to regret this, but what’s all that stuff, Pinkie?” Applejack asked, pointing towards the cart. “Oh, that’s easy! I’m going around and restocking a bunch of my emergency stashes.” Pinkie reached into her hair, pulling out a small book and opening it. “According to my handy dandy book of stashes, today I have to check my stashes of airplanes, ammo, anvils, balls, booze, bouncy houses, candy, chloroform, couches, daffodils, and dirt. And that’s just the first page.” Applejack raised an eyebrow as Pinkie read off her list of emergency supplies. While some of the items were setting off alarms in her head, one in particular stood out the most. “Did you say chloroform?” she asked. “Yeppers,” Pinkie replied. “They’re great for ponies who needs a little extra convincing to come to a party.” Applejack briefly recalled the incident with Rainbow Dash while also making a mental note to NEVER miss a Pinkie Pie party. The featherbrain really was telling the truth. “Besides makin’ me worry, why do you need all that stuff?” Applejack asked. “Because I have to be ready for anything, anywhere, anytime. It’s not like I can pull whatever I need out of thin air,” Pinkie Pie explained as she sat down on the ground, placing the open book in front of her. “Phew, all this talking is making me hungry.” A large smile once again appeared on Pinkie’s face. “Snack time!” Reaching into her mane, Pinkie pulled out a three tiered cake covered in white frosting. Somehow, not a single pink hair was seen on the tasty white surface. The cake quickly disappeared as it was somehow viciously inhaled into the dark abyss where many sweets disappear, otherwise known as Pinkie Pie. After giving out a loud hum of satisfaction, Pinkie turned her attention back to the book. A small frown appeared on her face as she shoved her face into the book. “Something wrong, sugarcube?” Applejack asked. “I swear that there was one more thing on this page for me to check,” Pinkie replied, her eyes almost literally crawling through the page. Watching Pinkie going through her book, Applejack realized something. She was not at any risk for immediate physical or mental injuries, or at least any risk that she was aware of. This made it a good time to ask if Pinkie could possibly help with the applebucking. “Hey, Pinkie, do you think you will be able to bu—” “Ah ha!” Pinkie interrupted with a triumphant yell. “What?” Applejack huffed, a bit annoyed at how often she was getting interrupted today. “There’s a fudgy smudge right here!” she stated as she licked the page. “Mmmm, fudge. Oh look, the last thing to check today is dynamite.” “What?” Applejack’s eyes bulged. The thought of Pinkie Pie with explosives scared her more than anything she and her friends faced, excluding present company. “Ooo, that’s an easy one. I keep almost all of those around Sweet Apple Acres.” “What?!” Applejack’s jaw dropped, trying its best to get reacquainted with the ground. “You’d be surprised how often I have to restock those. It’s like I don’t remember where I put them all,” Pinkie said, blissfully unaware of the mental trauma she was causing. No sound or movement came from Applejack. Her brain had finally reached the critical point where it was unable to process all the insanity that had gone on today. Pinkie’s revelation was the last proverbial straw that broke the pony’s back, although, to Applejack, it felt more like a truck driving a truck into her face. “Ooo, I feel a combo coming!” Pinkie announced excitedly. “Let’s see… wobbly legs, droopy eyes, dry mouth. Oh, oh, oh, I know what that is!” Pinkie bounced over to her cart and pulled out a bottle of whiskey, placing it on the ground in front of Applejack. “It means a friend needs a strong drink. Funny, that sure seems to happen a lot, especially when I’m around.” Pinkie harnessed herself back to the cart and started to hop away, stopping to wave goodbye to the still unresponsive Applejack. “I got to get going, Applejack. Bye bye!” Applejack’s frozen state persisted for another few minutes, earning her a few confused looks from passing ponies. After finally regaining some form of consciousness, Applejack noticed the bottle of whiskey Pinkie had left her. Plopping her butt on the ground, Applejack grabbed the bottle in her hooves and unscrewed the cap. She brought the bottle’s opening to her lips and swung her head back, emptying a large chunk of the situational ambrosia into her. A big sigh of relief was released by Applejack as the bottle left her mouth. “Confound my friends. They drive me to drink.”
A Crazy StartMost mornings for Applejack and Big Mac consisted of various chores and duties that kept Sweet Apple Acres running. But with applebucking season right around the corner, the two ponies knew their workload was going to increase. While Apple Bloom was at school, and Granny Smith was dozing off back at the house, the siblings agreed to take some time off to rest up for the harvest, as well as spending some quality brother and sister time together, with a relaxing game of horseshoes. “Woo wee! You see that toss, Big Mac? That’s a ringer! Ah think we can just go ahead and say that Ah’m the winner,” Applejack playfully boasted. “Nnnope!” was Big Mac’s response. Taking a horseshoe in his mouth, Big Mac eyed the stake that was his target. With a deft flick of his head, he released the horseshoe, smugly grinning at Applejack as it cleanly hit the stake. Applejack rolled her eyes and chuckled at Bic Mac’s antics. “Yea, yea, let me show how it’s done.” She picked up her next horseshoe and moved into place for her turn. An evil smirk flashed across Big Mac’s face as he watched Applejack carefully aim her throw. With all the stealth and subtlety a big red pony can muster, Big Mac sneaked up behind his sister. Just as Applejack was about to toss her horseshoe, Big Mac unleashed his diabolical plan. “Boo!” “YAAAAAGH!” THWACK Thinking back a bit, Big Mac realized that startling a pony from behind was probably not such a smart idea, especially if that same pony had developed legs, strengthened by years of farm work, that could deliver a kick that felt akin to being hit by a train. Big Mac got to spend a whole second contemplating his failed plan and Applejack’s legs as he sailed through his impromptu flight before crashing into a pile of barrels. “Uh, you alright, Big Mac?” Applejack asked, still a bit dazed about what had just transpired. “Eeyup,” replied the pile of wood. “Should we just say it’s a tie and call it a day?” “Eeyup.” “Right… Well, Ah guess we should clean up.” Seeing that Big Mac was not budging from beneath the wreckage, Applejack amended her statement. “Maybe Ah should clean up while you rest a bit.” After picking up most of the horseshoes, Applejack swiveled her head around, looking for something. “Hey, did you see where my last one landed? Ah lost track of it when you gone and surprised me.” Groaning, Big Mac’s head popped out of the remains of the barrel massacre. To his good fortune, he immediately found the missing horseshoe as it conveniently dropped down from Applejack’s accidental toss into the air. CLANG And right onto his aching head. Applejack winced as soon as she saw the bonding of metal and her brother’s head. “You alright, Big Mac?” Applejack asked again with concern. His eyes spinning, Big Mac replied, “Nnnope,” before flopping backwards into the debris with another crash.
Crazy CrittersWith Big Mac having to nurse his injuries and pride from what he and Applejack were referring to as ‘the horseshoe incident’, Sweet Apple Acres was going to be down one hardworking pony for the upcoming applebucking season. Applejack recalled the last time Big Mac got injured and was unable to help with the harvest. She had tried to do all the applebucking by herself, and, because of her stubbornness, she refused help from others, practically working herself to the bone. To make matters worse, she had promised to help her friends with various tasks, which, in her exhausted state, ended up doing more harm than good. She felt horrible for poisoning half the town with baked bads and traumatizing the other half with a bunny stampede. Facing the exact same situation, she knew the right way to handle it was to go ask her friends for help this time. With her friends filling in for her brother’s absence, Applejack was glad that she was not going to have to deal with any insanity. Seeing as how often Fluttershy came over to Sweet Apple Acres to help deal with the animals anyway, Applejack started off her search for help with the yellow pegasus. As Applejack trotted up the path to Fluttershy’s cottage, she wondered if maybe her friend would be too busy tending to the various animals that lived or frequently visited the caretaker’s home. Applejack softly knocked on Fluttershy’s door when she approached it, knowing that even knocking too loudly could send the easily frightened pegasus into a state of panic. A smile appeared on her face as the door started to slowly open. “Howdy there, Flu—” Applejack’s mouth froze when she saw who had opened the door. Instead of her shy friend, a big bear, slightly slouching as his head barely scraped the ceiling, greeted her. Not too many ponies can come face to face with a bear without pausing. Fortunately, Applejack was one of those ponies, having survived the many dangers and challenges she and her friends had faced. Unfortunately, this bear was able to stop Applejack in her tracks just from his appearance. More specifically, the frilly, pink ballerina outfit it was wearing. The little tiara on his head was not helping Applejack deal with what she was seeing. An uncomfortable silence descended on the pair as they stared at each other, both unsure of how to respond to the other. Quickly shaking some sense back into her head, Applejack remembered why she was there before she got distracted by the hairy pink thing. “Uh, hi. Nice… look you got there.” The bear smiled and nodded in approval at the praise, not noticing the awkward tone. “Is Fluttershy home?” Applejack asked, hoping that she can get things moving to save time and her sanity. The bear nodded again before turning around and letting out a low roar. A soft voice called back, “Oh, who’s at the door, Harry?” Applejack gave a small sigh of relief and smiled as Harry, as well as the awkward situation, was replaced by Fluttershy at the door. “Howdy, Fluttershy.” “Hello, Applejack. Sorry that I had to let Harry answer the door. I was out in the backyard treating an otter’s injuries. The poor dear got hurt practicing his skateboarding tricks,” Fluttershy explained, bowing her head slightly in apology. “Don’t worry about it. Ah know lots of animals depend on you when they’re in need,” Applejack reassured. Her smile was replaced by a confused look when she recalled something odd about Fluttershy’s explanation. “Wait, why was an otter skateboardin’?” “Well, you see, we heard about a new circus that is looking for more acts and performers, and some of the animals are really excited to get a chance to be stars.” “Ah guess that’s why that bear was wearin’ all that frou-frou stuff, huh.” Applejack chuckled. “Oh no, Harry just likes to wear it. He says it makes him look pretty,” Fluttershy replied with a smile. Applejack’s chuckle was instantly replaced by a skeptical look. “Right… Anyway, Ah was hopin’ you could help out with the applebuckin’. Big Mac got injured and is—” “Big Mac got hurt?! Oh, the poor dear. How did it happen?” Fluttershy interrupted, worry etched onto her face. “Uh, he got hurt,” Applejack nervously replied, not wanting to reveal how Big Mac got hurt as well as feeling a bit embarrassed about the whole event. Fluttershy cocked her head in confusion at Applejack’s odd response. “Um, yes, you already said that, Applejack. How did he get hurt?” “He got hurt,” Applejack repeated, her gaze drifting towards the sky as her mouth scrunched up. An awkward silence once again prevailed at Fluttershy’s doorstep. Applejack began to nervously sweat as she felt Fluttershy’s bewildered gaze staring right at her, slowly unraveling her impressive web of deceit. “Okay…” Fluttershy relented, eliciting a sigh of relief from Applejack. “Anyway, I would love to help you out, but the animals really need me around to help them practice their acts. I’m also worried that they might get hurt while practicing.” Averting her gaze from Applejack, Fluttershy hid behind her hair. “You’re not mad, right?” her voice barely above a whisper and with a hint of fear. Applejack gave a warm smile at Fluttershy’s explanation. The kind caretaker cared for the animals almost like they were own children. “Aww, come here, you.” Applejack leaned in, giving Fluttershy a hug. “You don’t have to worry about anythin’, sugarcube. You and the animals care about each other a lot. Not only that, you’re helpin’ some of them with their dreams. That’s somethin’ you should never feel sorry for.” Fluttershy returned a smile at Applejack’s reassurance. The heartwarming moment did not last long though as a loud crash was heard to their side. The two friends turned to see what caused the commotion. Judging by the giant pile of fur and feathers that now lay before them, a few of the practicing animals must have crashed into each other. “Oh, my babies!” Fluttershy cried out, rushing over to the animals. “Is any animal hurt? Does anyone need bandages? Stretcher? Defibrillator?” Applejack chuckled as Fluttershy fussed over the animals. She could see that Fluttershy was overreacting, treating each animal as though they had suffered some grievous injury when in reality, the worst was just a minor scratch or two. “Ah should be goin’ now, Fluttershy. Good luck to your critters with the circus thing,” Applejack called out, even though it was ignored as Fluttershy frantically treated non-existing injuries. Well that was interestin’, Applejack thought as she trotted away from the caretaker’s cottage. Hopefully my other friends won’t be caught in crazy situations.
Crazy ObsessionsAfter leaving Fluttershy and the aspiring animals, Applejack decided to go see Rainbow Dash next. If Sweet Apple Acres did not get a good harvest from applebuck season, then there would be less time and fewer apples to dedicate to their famous cider. Since Rainbow had what could be seen as an unhealthy obsession for the cider, Applejack knew the thirsty pegasus would go to great lengths to prevent a shortage of the drink. As Applejack approached Rainbow’s house, she saw the very pony she wanted to see digging through an enormous bag that could fit any pony inside it. The busy pegasus was so occupied with her work that Applejack was able to walk right up to her unnoticed. Smirking, Applejack yelled out, “Howdy, Rainbow!” Instead of jumping up in fright, like Applejack expected her to do, Rainbow froze at the sound of Applejack’s voice. Slowly getting up and turning around, she responded with a hint of nervousness in her voice, “Oh, uh, hey, Applejack. What’s up?” Nothing suspicious here at all, Applejack thought as she rolled her eyes. “What’s in the bag, Rainbow? Goin’ somewhere or is this some harebrained prank you’re tryin’ to pull?” Applejack asked as she leaned a bit to the side, trying to get a peek at the contents of the bag. Rainbow leaned over a bit, just enough to block Applejack’s vision of the bag. “Nothing,” she drawled out in response to the questions. Applejack met the response with an unamused stare. Rainbow sighed. “Alright, alright. I’m heading over to Canterlot. Daring Do is doing a book signing of her newest book, and I want to head up there and get her to hang out with me.” Applejack chuckled at Rainbow’s answer. “Sugarcube, we all know you pretty much worship her. That’s too bad you have to go though. Ah was hopin’ to get your help harvestin’ the apples. Big Mac got hurt, so he won’t be able to do any applebuckin’ for a while. Without any help, we might not have enough apples ready for the upcomin’ cider season.” Rainbow’s eyes shot wide open at the dire news. “No cider?!” she cried out in fear. Groaning in frustration, Rainbow sat down as she brought her forehooves to her head. Applejack could see Rainbow was conflicted and carefully weighing her options. Seeing the usually brash pegasus in such deep thought was a rare sight for her. She just wished it did not have to be a decision between one obsession over another. Rolling her eyes yet again at Rainbow’s antics, Applejack offered a solution. “Look, sugarcube, Ah know you really like Darin’ Do and her books, so don’t worry about the cider. Ah can go ask some of our other friends to help out. Go ahead to that book thing.” A huge smile appeared on Rainbow’s face as she launched into the air, performing a few loops in joy. “Woo hoo! Thanks, Applejack! As soon as I get back, I’m coming over to help out the cid—er, you. Anyway, I got to head out now if I want to make it in time. See ya!” Rainbow quickly grabbed her bag, but because she forgot to close it in all the excitement, the contents within spilled out as soon as the bag left the ground. Rainbow gasped in horror as she saw her belongings land in front of Applejack. Applejack sat down to get a closer look at the interesting objects. Questions raced through her mind as she identified what she was looking at. “Rainbow, why are you bringing rope to a book signing?” Applejack asked, an eyebrow rising. “Uh, in case I wanted to practice those rope thingy stuff you do?” Rainbow answered even though it sounded more like a question. “What’s this then?” Applejack picked up a bottle from the pile. Her eyes flew open as she read the label. “What the hay, Rainbow!? Why in Equestria do you need chloroform!?” Rainbow quickly flew over and grabbed the bottle of chloroform. She nervously laughed as she hid the bottle behind her. “Heh heh… Oh, that? I was planning to take a nap during the train ride. You know how much trouble I have sleeping,” Rainbow explained, beads of sweat starting to drip down her face. Applejack returned the flimsy excuse with a flat stare. “Rainbow, you pretty much spend more time nappin’ than actually bein’ awake. Where did you even get this?” “I was just flying around yesterday when I crashed, er, found a stash of bottles in a tree.” Applejack scoffed at Rainbow’s explanation. “Do you really think Ah’m goin’ to believe that somepony just leaves a stash of chloroform in some random tree, and you just happened to find it?” “I’m telling the truth, honest!” Rainbow retorted. Applejack was surprised that she was not getting dizzy as she rolled her eyes yet again because of Rainbow’s odd behavior. Knowing that her friend was likely not going to tell her the truth anytime soon, Applejack tried to figure out what the weird items would be used for. When the pieces started falling into place in her mind, Applejack sighed as she brought one of her forehooves to her face. “Rainbow, please don’t tell me you are goin’ to do what Ah think you are goin’ to do.” “If you mean you are thinking that I might be going to Canterlot to kidnap Daring Do and bring her back to my place, so we can be best friends forever… then no, I am totally not doing that,” Rainbow kind of confessed as her eyes nervously darted around. The oblivious pegasus’s unintentional confession caused both of Applejack’s forehooves to meet her face. “You can’t be serious. Rainbow, you are not goin’ to Canterlot and kidnap Daring Do to keep her for yourself. End of story.” “Aww.” Rainbow bowed her head in disappointment, a frown appearing on her face. Suddenly, her head shot back up, a small grin adorning her face, as she not so discreetly took out a rag from the bag with her free hoof and hid it behind her along with the chloroform. Rainbow’s shenanigans were giving Applejack’s face a thorough workout as one of Applejack’s eyebrows once again went up in curiosity. Applejack silently watched the unusual pegasus as she fidgeted around, clearly doing something behind her back. Rainbow then brought out the rag, presenting it in front of her and dripping with liquid. “Uh, hey, Applejack, does this rag smell bad to you?” Rainbow asked with a smile that was too wide on her face. Applejack gave Rainbow a flat look at the obvious trap. In her mind, Applejack was lamenting over the fact that she did not have enough hooves to show her face how frustrated and embarrassed she was with her desperate friend. Needing time to figure out how to defuse the insane pegasus, Applejack decided to humor the crazed pegasus by leaning in close to the rag and pretended to sniff, careful to not breathe in. “Ah, don’t smell anything.” Rainbow gave a confused look as she stared at the rag. “Really?” Bringing the rag in front of her face, Rainbow took a big sniff. Rainbow’s eyes then glazed over as she fell back. Applejack blinked a couple of times, still processing the bizarre turn of events. “Ah can’t believe that just happened.” With a sigh and a frown on her face, Applejack prodded the unconscious Rainbow Dash. “Yep, out cold,” she muttered, shaking her head in exasperation. “Guess Ah should bring all this with me to keep them out of her hooves,” Applejack said, packing up all the illicit equipment back into the bag. “Well, at least she won’t end up getting a restraining order today.” Applejack slung the filled bag onto her back and trotted away, leaving Rainbow in her stupor. Ah should go see Twi and Spike next, so Ah can also tell Twi how readin’ is not good for Rainbow’s health.
Crazy ExperimentsAs Applejack made her way through Ponyville, she noticed quite a few ponies giving her odd looks, most likely due to Rainbow Dash’s oversized bag on her back that had to be kept away from the deranged pegasus. Applejack let out an exasperated sigh. Dang it, Rainbow. You’re not goin’ to see a drop of cider for a really long time. Finally arriving at the Golden Oaks Library, Applejack set the heavy baggage down on the ground and knocked on the door. As she waited for someone to answer, she opened the bag, making sure all of Rainbow’s tools of the dunce were present. The door opened to reveal Spike. “Hi, Applejack, what’s up?” he greeted with a smile. Spike’s eyes drifted down and noticed the open bag, as well as its contents, at her hooves. “Whoa, what’s with all this stuff?” Applejack rolled her eyes, the memory of Rainbow’s antics still fresh in her mind. “Rainbow’s stuff. Don’t ask. We just have to make sure she doesn’t get these back.” “Uh, okay,” Spike replied as he looked closer into the bag of goodies. “Hey, I could take these off your hooves if you want.” “Spike, why in Equestria would you need this stuff?” Applejack asked, not wanting a repeat of what had happened with Rainbow Dash. “It’s for Twilight. You know how she is with books and studying. Sometimes, I need a little help to get her to go to sleep or even get her attention.” “Ah’m not sure whether to be happy or worried that you are willing to use these kind of things just to look out for Twilight.” Spike shrugged at Applejack’s comment. “You try living with her for a while. Desperate times calls for desperate measures, and believe me, there are a lot of desperate times.” On one hoof, Applejack was a bit uncomfortable giving the questionable items to Spike, but on the other hoof, she did not feel like lugging around the bag around Ponyville as she visited the rest of her friends. Spike’s need for the bag’s contents was for a good, although a bit extreme, cause. “Alright, Spike, Ah guess you can take the stuff. At the least, Ah know you’ll use them more responsibly than Rainbow.” “Thanks, Applejack,” Spike replied as he brought the bag into the library. “Ah would say it was no problem, but Ah think Rainbow would disagree with me. Goin’ off what you said, Ah don’t think Twilight will either. Speakin’ of Twilight, where is she?” Spike let out a long sigh. “She’s down in the basement. A shipment of science junk came in earlier today. She always gets crazy when a new shipment comes in and tries to come up with new experiments. The problem is that it always goes horribly wrong, and I end up having to help clean up the mess. The whole process repeats until she ends up in the hospital.” Applejack cocked her head in confusion at the rather thorough explanation. “That’s oddly… specific. Does this happen often?” “Yep,” Spike replied. “She’s been like this ever since she started studying with Princess Celestia. As she grew, so did the experiments and, as a result, so did the explosions. I heard rumors that the place we used to live in was condemned as a biological hazard. “What’s even worse now is the fact that she’s a princess. She has access to all sorts of weird stuff. I pretty much have to know what’s going to happen down to the second if I’m going to survive living with her,” Spike explained. He glanced at a clock on the wall. “In fact, here we go in three… two… one…” A soft boom came from the basement. A trail of smoke followed a few seconds later. “I’m okay!” Twilight’s voice called out from below. Applejack’s raised an eyebrow in concern at what had just transpired. “Uh, shouldn’t we go down and check on her?” Spike dismissed the notion with a bored wave of his claw. “Nah, that was a small one. She can take care of those by herself. You’ll know when I have to go do something.” “No offense, to the girl, but it sounds like she’s goin’ through a lot of trouble for nothin’,” Applejack said, a bit frightened at what she had just heard. “Don’t get me wrong, she has made some cool stuff from her experiments like turning gold into cookies. I just wish it wasn’t so messy and traumatic. Anyway, sorry, Applejack, but with Twilight busy with her experiments, and me having to clean up her mess, we won’t be able to help out.” Applejack gave a sigh of disappointment before returning a small smile. “Ah understand, Spike. Those sciencey stuff are important to her, and you have to watch out for her. She’s lucky she got such a great assistant.” Spike puffed out his chest with pride at Applejack’s praise. “Ah should get goin’ and see if any of our other friends can he—” A loud explosion boomed from the basement, causing Applejack to jump up in surprise. The trail of black smoke was replaced by large billows of orange smoke and the smell of oranges. “Spike, I need emergency kit five zero two! Now!” came Twilight’s frantic yells. Spike took another look at the clock. “Sorry again, Applejack, but I got to go and help her out this time. According to the schedule, this is the last time today before she has to go to the hospital,” Spike explained nonchalantly. “Uh, should Ah go there and get them to send somepony?” Applejack asked, a worried look on her face. “Save yourselves! The oranges are coming! The oranges are coming!” Twilight’s shouts rang from the basement. “Nah, I went out earlier and told them the usual was happening. They should be here in a few minutes. Just two more paramedic visits, and we get a free prize!” Spike stated as he made his way towards the basement stairs. “Right… Ah think Ah’ll just be going now,” Applejack said as she turned away. “They’re in my nose! Oh why are they in my nose!?” were Twilight’s last words that Applejack heard before breaking into a sprint, desperately trying to get away from the insanity.
Crazy RecipesDue to her hasty retreat from Golden Oaks Library, Applejack made good time at getting to Carousel Boutique in hopes of enlisting Rarity’s help. Applejack took a moment to catch her breath as well as preparing some choice words. While the fashionista was not an avid fan of farm work, Rarity’s generous nature, along with some prodding, would eventually overcome her rather fussy nature. The bell above the front door rang as Applejack entered the building. “Rarity? You home?” Applejack called out as she looked around, noticing that the usually packed showroom was devoid of any clothes or fabric. “Oh hello, Applejack. I’m in the kitchen. I’ll be right out,” came Rarity’s voice from the other room. Peeking into the kitchen, Applejack saw Sweetie Belle. She was busy stirring what looked like batter in a bowl. Rarity was standing right behind her, closely overseeing the task. What really caught Applejack’s eye was what they were wearing. Both unicorns were equipped with a heavily padded dress that was adorned with small gems and lace. Over their heads, they each wore a helmet with a plastic visor, protecting their faces from who knows what. Applejack was reminded of the police riot gear she sometimes saw in movies except more frou-frou. Given how the day’s events has been turning out, Applejack had a feeling she was probably going to regret it as she asked, “What are you girls up to?” “Sweetie Belle, you just keep on stirring that dough nice and slow while I have a quick chat with Applejack. And please don’t touch anything else,” Rarity said as she directed Applejack to walk with her back into the showroom. “Yea, yea, Rarity,” replied Sweetie Belle. “Geeze, just a few exploding cupcakes, and I’m not allowed to do anything,” she muttered to herself. Applejack gave an odd look at Sweetie, not sure if she heard that last part right, as she moved out of the kitchen. “So what can I help you with, Applejack?” Rarity asked when they stepped into the showroom. “Ah was goin’ to ask if you could help with some applebuckin’, but it seems you’re kind of busy doing… something,” Applejack said, getting a good look at Rarity’s outfit. “Ah yes, I’m sorry, but Sweetie Belle is staying over for a while, and I promised to do whatever activity she picked with her. As you probably saw, she chose baking,” Rarity explained. “Okay, but what’s with the getup?” Applejack asked as she pointed a hoof at Rarity’s gear. Rarity took a quick look back at the kitchen before leaning in towards Applejack to speak in a lowered voice. “I love Sweetie Belle with all my heart, but it’s just that her cooking skills frighten me. I’ve seen her do things I didn’t think were possible with just cooking ingredients. Horrible things!” Knowing her friend’s flair for the dramatic, Applejack could not help but chuckle at Rarity’s reasoning. “Ah’m sure you’re just exaggerating. Sure, Sweetie Belle might be bad at cooking, but lots of ponies are also terrible at it. How did you convince her to wear the suit anyway?” “I told her it was the latest in cooking fashion.” “Ah’m also pretty sure protective gear doesn’t have to be so frou-frou.” “A lady must always look her best even when facing impending doom,” Rarity stated as she proudly lifted her head. Sweetie’s shrill shriek suddenly snapped the two ponies out of their conversation. Running into the kitchen, Applejack’s eyes widened in shock when she saw Sweetie Belle backing away from the mixing bowl, which somehow had a roaring fire coming out of it, as well as a spilled carton of milk lying next to it. “Sweetie Belle! What did you do?!” Rarity shrieked as she grabbed an already prepared fire extinguisher off to the side in her magic, using it to put out the fire. “I was getting tired with all the stirring, so I thought I would add some more milk to make it easier. All I did was pour a little bit more, honest!” Sweetie Belle replied, pointing towards the milk carton on the ground. Applejack’s jaw was agape as she pondered the implications of how Sweetie Belle was able to set things on fire with milk. Rarity briefly turned towards the stunned Applejack, giving her a ‘I told you so’ look, before shifting her attention back to inspect the bowl and address her sister. “Sweetie Belle, you know I told you not to add anything without me. Fortunately, for some odd reason, the batter didn’t burn at all, so I guess we don’t have to start from scratch again. Turning back to Applejack, Rarity apologized, “Again, I’m deeply sorry, Applejack, but as you can see, Sweetie Belle needs my full attention. Will you be alright with your apple harvest?” A look of concern was on her face. “Aw shucks, Rarity. Ah’m happy you are spending time with your sister. Don’t worry about me, Ah’ll figure somethin’ out,” Applejack replied after regaining her train of thought after the impromptu pyro show. “Thank you for understanding, darling.” “You two have fun now,” Applejack said as she started to make her way out. “We will, Applejack! Bye!” chirped Sweetie Belle. Grabbing the bowl from the floor in her hooves, she quickly opened the oven and shoved the whole thing inside. With a slam, the oven door was closed, and Sweetie Belle turned the dial all the way to the max. “Wait, Sweetie Belle! Don’t do that!” Rarity screamed as she rushed to the oven, a horrified look on her face. Sensing that another disaster was literally cooking, Applejack found herself fleeing yet another of her friend’s home. Pausing a short distance away to look back at the Carousel Boutique, Applejack wondered if Rarity would be fine. Two shrill screams echoed from within the shop. That doesn’t sound good. Maybe Ah should go back and help out. Applejack tapped her chin with a forehoof as she contemplated about what to do. Suddenly, a wave of cookie dough crashed through the kitchen window as the screams continued to ring from the building. Hmm… Nah. Noting that the still flowing dough was dotted with chocolate chips, Applejack walked away, at a rather brisk pace, towards Sugar Cube Corner. Ah’m sure they’ll be fine. That reminds me, Ah could go for a chocolate chip muffin now.
Pinkie PiePinkie Pie was Applejack’s last stop and hope in her not so successful recruitment to help with the apple harvest. Although, after what she had experienced today, Applejack was starting to wonder if maybe some of her friends would actually make things worse through some bizarre twist that would defy the laws of common sense. Maybe Pinkie would offer a reprieve from the insanity she was experiencing today. Applejack paused as she recounted the thought that had just passed her mind. Letting out a long exasperated sigh, Applejack resumed her march. “Let’s just get this over with,” she grumbled, resigning herself to whatever fate had in store for her. As she neared Sugarcube Corner, Applejack saw Pinkie Pie hop out from behind the bakery. She was pulling a cart piled so high with various stuff, it almost reached the height of Sugarcube Corner. “Uh, howdy, Pinkie,”Applejack called out, staring at the cart. “Applejack!” Pinkie Pie yelled as she turned towards Applejack, a large smile on her face. To Applejack’s horror, Pinkie sped towards her, the cart trailing close behind. “Whoa! Slow down there, girl!” Applejack yelled as she quickly turned to flee from the incoming train of hugs and pain. She did not make it farther than a few steps as a huge weight tackled her to the ground, giving her face an unscheduled meeting with the dirt. Groaning, Applejack slowly lifted her head and looked behind her to assess the damage. The first thing she saw was Pinkie’s smile. It was the only thing she saw because Pinkie’s face was literally shoved right into Applejack’s. “Hi!” Pinkie chirped. Applejack returned the greeting with an unamused glare. “Sugarcube, please get off me.” “Okie dokie!” Pinkie complied, hopping off her latest victim. Applejack got up, taking note that, through the wonders and mysteries of Pinkie Pie, not a single item fell off her assaulter’s cart. “Ah know Ah’m goin’ to regret this, but what’s all that stuff, Pinkie?” Applejack asked, pointing towards the cart. “Oh, that’s easy! I’m going around and restocking a bunch of my emergency stashes.” Pinkie reached into her hair, pulling out a small book and opening it. “According to my handy dandy book of stashes, today I have to check my stashes of airplanes, ammo, anvils, balls, booze, bouncy houses, candy, chloroform, couches, daffodils, and dirt. And that’s just the first page.” Applejack raised an eyebrow as Pinkie read off her list of emergency supplies. While some of the items were setting off alarms in her head, one in particular stood out the most. “Did you say chloroform?” she asked. “Yeppers,” Pinkie replied. “They’re great for ponies who needs a little extra convincing to come to a party.” Applejack briefly recalled the incident with Rainbow Dash while also making a mental note to NEVER miss a Pinkie Pie party. The featherbrain really was telling the truth. “Besides makin’ me worry, why do you need all that stuff?” Applejack asked. “Because I have to be ready for anything, anywhere, anytime. It’s not like I can pull whatever I need out of thin air,” Pinkie Pie explained as she sat down on the ground, placing the open book in front of her. “Phew, all this talking is making me hungry.” A large smile once again appeared on Pinkie’s face. “Snack time!” Reaching into her mane, Pinkie pulled out a three tiered cake covered in white frosting. Somehow, not a single pink hair was seen on the tasty white surface. The cake quickly disappeared as it was somehow viciously inhaled into the dark abyss where many sweets disappear, otherwise known as Pinkie Pie. After giving out a loud hum of satisfaction, Pinkie turned her attention back to the book. A small frown appeared on her face as she shoved her face into the book. “Something wrong, sugarcube?” Applejack asked. “I swear that there was one more thing on this page for me to check,” Pinkie replied, her eyes almost literally crawling through the page. Watching Pinkie going through her book, Applejack realized something. She was not at any risk for immediate physical or mental injuries, or at least any risk that she was aware of. This made it a good time to ask if Pinkie could possibly help with the applebucking. “Hey, Pinkie, do you think you will be able to bu—” “Ah ha!” Pinkie interrupted with a triumphant yell. “What?” Applejack huffed, a bit annoyed at how often she was getting interrupted today. “There’s a fudgy smudge right here!” she stated as she licked the page. “Mmmm, fudge. Oh look, the last thing to check today is dynamite.” “What?” Applejack’s eyes bulged. The thought of Pinkie Pie with explosives scared her more than anything she and her friends faced, excluding present company. “Ooo, that’s an easy one. I keep almost all of those around Sweet Apple Acres.” “What?!” Applejack’s jaw dropped, trying its best to get reacquainted with the ground. “You’d be surprised how often I have to restock those. It’s like I don’t remember where I put them all,” Pinkie said, blissfully unaware of the mental trauma she was causing. No sound or movement came from Applejack. Her brain had finally reached the critical point where it was unable to process all the insanity that had gone on today. Pinkie’s revelation was the last proverbial straw that broke the pony’s back, although, to Applejack, it felt more like a truck driving a truck into her face. “Ooo, I feel a combo coming!” Pinkie announced excitedly. “Let’s see… wobbly legs, droopy eyes, dry mouth. Oh, oh, oh, I know what that is!” Pinkie bounced over to her cart and pulled out a bottle of whiskey, placing it on the ground in front of Applejack. “It means a friend needs a strong drink. Funny, that sure seems to happen a lot, especially when I’m around.” Pinkie harnessed herself back to the cart and started to hop away, stopping to wave goodbye to the still unresponsive Applejack. “I got to get going, Applejack. Bye bye!” Applejack’s frozen state persisted for another few minutes, earning her a few confused looks from passing ponies. After finally regaining some form of consciousness, Applejack noticed the bottle of whiskey Pinkie had left her. Plopping her butt on the ground, Applejack grabbed the bottle in her hooves and unscrewed the cap. She brought the bottle’s opening to her lips and swung her head back, emptying a large chunk of the situational ambrosia into her. A big sigh of relief was released by Applejack as the bottle left her mouth. “Confound my friends. They drive me to drink.”
