Happy Birthday Sabre

by Slendermare

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Random, Derpy Hooves, Pinkie Pie, Main 6
Length: 4221

Its Sabre's birthday today! Complete with a pinkie party and all his friends.. except, wheres rainbow dash?

Its time for Sabre's birthday! And no parties complete without a signature Pinkie Pie party! All his friends will be their, except one... Where's Rainbow Dash? And what's up with Pinkie Pie lately?

Congratulations to Dovahbrony, who this was supposed to be for, but fimfiction wouldnt accept. Happy (late) birthday!

Published 2014-02-04 05:00:08 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-17 16:31:21 UTC

Happy Birthday!

He walked calmly, waiting for what he knew was coming. It was inevitable. It always came, ALWAYS. It was something you couldn't run from, couldn't hide from. She always knew. It was crazy, even if nobody told her, she always new. So he waited calmly for it. All of a sudden, he was on the ground, face full of dirt.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY SABRE!"
Their it was. It always came. Not the dirt, but the greeting. One only Pinkie could give. One that came every year. One that always resulted in a face full of something.
"Hello Pinkie, how are you? Oh, and yes the party can be at Sugarcube Corner again."
"Okie-doki-loki! And don't forget, all of our bestest friends will be their!" Her expression downed a bit.
"Except Dashie... Where is she anyways? Being gone this long isn't like her..." She replied.
Sabre felt a knot form in his stomach. He knew he couldn't tell her. He and Twi promised to never tell the others. They new the others wouldn't react well, knowing that their two friends killed Rainbow Dash. He knew he didn't have much choice if he wanted the Rainbow Factory to finally end. Twi understood, she was there. But the others could hate him for it. His face not faltering once, he told her that Dash might show up. Then he walked off. He needed to talk to Twi.

He was greeted inside by Spike, who then got Twi. She walked in, and from the look on his face, she knew what he wanted to say as soon as she saw him.
"Sabre, they will find out the truth eventually."
"I know, but not tonight. Pinkie's throwing me a party, and I don't wanna ruin it." He replied.
" Don't worry about it, I wasn't planning on telling. "
After warning her about a certain pink tornado, he walked off. He wasn't sure what to do yet. There wasnt anything TO do. He was feeling bored, so he decided to see Derpy, who was letting him live at her place until he could get his own, which would be soon. Too bad, too, because he kinda liked her. On his way over to her house though, he passed Sugarcube Corners, which smelled of pastries and latex. Probably just the party supplies. He decided to see if he could get something to eat. He walked in, but it was empty. He looked around. It was filled with the décor for his birthday party, and it looked good. But nobody was around the store, despite the fact that the sign said 'OPEN' in bold letters. Pinkie walked downstairs, and jumped when she saw him.
"SABRE! What are you doing here? The party's at 8. It's only 2:39." She asked.
She seemed really excited, but a bit... Off. But then again, this is Pinkie Pie here. But still...
"Oh, I just stopped by for something to eat. I was on my way to Derpy's on my way here." He replied.
Pinkie gasped and shot into the basement, the door closing behind her. She zoomed out, carrying a tray of cupcakes. They looked great. But Pinkie seemed more excited than Twi at the book festival she dragged them all to last month. Pinkie practically shoved them in his face.
He said then, "You know, I was gonna get some muffins." Her smile faultered barely, but hardly noticeable, even to him. She got him muffins of all kinds. You name it, she gave it to him. With a thanks, he walked out and towards Derpy's house. He barely got in when she grabbed the basket and ran off only to dart in and leave a bag of a few for him to eat. He decided to go for a walk. He saw the CMC racing by, only to get covered in mud, pine needles, and tree sap.
"OH COME ON! THERE AREN'T EVEN ANY PINE TREES AROUND HERE!" Scootaloo yelled.
Sabre walked up and told her and her friends to look at the stand they hit. It was a tree sap and pine needles stand. He walked by, leaving them to come up with another plan, probably in which they'd likely result in near death again. He walked, taking a bite out of a muffin and continuing on. He thought back to Pinkie and her behavior. First off, why would she go to a basement for cupcakes? Is there a shipping dock down their? Or is that where they cook sometimes? He thought a bit more, mainly about the smells this time. He smelled balloons, pastry, and fruit. But there was another smell, a somewhat familiar. He smelled it recently, but where? That's when it hit him. It was a smell he overlooked, out of what he felt was impossible to find in a bakery like Sugarcube Corners, let alone near Pinkie Pie. But he thought of how she sometimes smelled of it, trying to mask it with chocolate, usually monthly. He knew this smell.

It was death.

Author's Note

Oooh, what'll happen? Read on! I'll get it all done by tomorrow morning around six A.M.

And by the way, happy birthday Dovahbrony!

Crimson Fang

Why

Why do things happen? Why do we die?

Death

What does it mean? What could it mean?

Decay

Think about it. It comes eventually. How can someone rush the progress of life?

Flesh

Life is a precious gift. Not to be taken lightly. Its a rare flower, needs tending loving care, attention, water. All needed to keep the flower of life in a beautiful bloom. But it is shredded, ripped, torn. Crunching like pebbles beneath the cruel foot of faith.

Blood

We need every aspect of our existence. Our pony existence. We need our organs, our manes, our tails. Our talents. One missing factor, however minor, impacts us. That really popular kid in the hall with the curly blonde hair. Next week he might dye it black. He might get it cut tomorrow. All those blond curls could disappear over the course of a half-hour. Next day, its talk of the school. But what about those who are less popular? They probably don't notice the unpopular kids. Think about this though: There are the really popular and awesome kids. There are the unpopular kids too though. These two deviants are noticed for different reason. Everyone notices the popular kid. Mainly because their popular. The really unpopular kids are noticed because they too stand out. Basically if your in a group, your chances of getting noticed rise. The populars, the sporty, the haters, the gamers. The brony's, the pegasisters, the creepy pasta readers. All seperate. But what happens...
When you mix them up a bit.
When you like more than my little pony
What ends up of us after their mixed up? The place enters total chaos. The teachers might enforce you to pick a random table, stay a few months. Who's at it?
It might be a brony at a table full of haters.
A guy gamer at a table full of obnoxious girly girls.
A scaredycat at a table of pasta freaks.
But what if we chose? We might be these friends at lunch:
1 Brony
3 pasta freaks
1 pegasister
2 gamers.
2 haters
It works.

Crimson Fang walked up to the town schoolyard. Multiple eyes glared at her. She ignored it, hoping she'd be left alone for once. The door was in sight. She started walking right for the door. As long as there's no...
"New kid! Come here!" Called a small orange Pegasus near a tree. She walked over slowly, hoping they'd be nice.
"Hey, ah'm Applebloom, but y'all can call me AB" said a yellow one. The unicorn then jumped in.
"Hi! I'm Sweetie Belle, these two are AB and Scootaloo. Who are you?
Crim felt nervous, trapped. Her batbony wings started perspiring under her saddle bags, which she usually wore. She wasn't sure what to say. She didn't want them to run from her because of her fangs.
"Well?" Said the orange one... Uhh.. Scootaloo. That's her name.
Trying to hide her mouth when she spoke, she almost whispered out,
"I'm Crimson... Hi..." They stood their for a few seconds before Crimson ran off. As she ran, the CMC noticed something. They noticed how Crimson too had no cutie mark! They realized they needed to find her, and quick. It was to late.

Sabre walked along a country road passed the school. There seemed to be an argument. He decided he'd break it up, its not like he had anything better to do. These to fillies were teasing another filly, still no cutie mark. He walked up, ready to stop them.

Cupcake's, anypony?

The cutie mark crusaders stared in awe at the pony threatening DT about how he'll tell her father, with Silver Spoon somewhere hiding. Diamond Tiara only shared, shocked at how somepony actually tried to stop her. Afterwards, the stallion walked off, not even talking to the quiet filly. She started walking to the school, which would start soon. Then they remembered something. She had no cutie mark!

Sabre walked back to Derpy's to fill out his plan. He walked into Sugarcube Corners unknowingly. He realized as he bit into a muffin. This time Mr Cake was at the counter. Sabre walked out, and headed to Derpy's house. When he walked in, Derpy was on the kitchen getting water from the fridge. When she noticed him, she smiled, and said,
"Hey Sabre. Where've you been?"
"Went for a walk, ate a muffin, chastised a little filly, ate another muffin..."
Derpy cut him off.
"Why did you chastice a little filly?"
He told her about the situation, grabbed a muffin, and went to the guest room. He lay down on the bed, thinking once more of Pinkie and her behavior. Why did she smell faintly of blood and death when she came downstairs? Why did she seem more jumpier than usual? And why did he just now realize her mane looked a little redder than usual? He couldn't figure that out until later, so he thought to another problem. How did he feel about Ditzy? Why did she let him live here for now? Oh well, a later question. He bit into his muffin. His mind drifted back to Pinkie Pie. It was so unlike her. Then again, there's still been disappearances lately, but most ponies thought it was because of the rainbow factory. But maybe, Pinkie Pie did something. He'd look into it later. But he still needed to investigate.

Pinkie was mopping her basement floor. Business was usually slower when she ran out of the "special" ingredient. To bad Dashie turned out to be evil. She was supposed to come over later today. But, at least she now had time to update her list. She'd thrown parties for new ponies moving to Ponyville all month! At least 26. But she needs to be ready for Sabre's birthday party tonight, and needed some help. She went to her bingo cage, rolled it, and grabbed the number that fell out. She checked her list. It was a new pony, a filly named Crimson Fang. Just a filly, but the younger the ingredients, the better. She learned that over time. She went over to her workbench and supplies and started cleaning everything, humming the song, "Cupcakes" and smiling.

Crimson was walking along the dirt road that led from school. A few fillies were staring at her all day. Did they see her wings stick out a little from under her saddlebag? Or maybe it was her fangs? She walked a little faster, when she was tackled to the ground. She looked at her attackers. It was those three fillies. She kept her mouth shut. The orange one leaped in the air, talking about a club of theirs. They looked at her expectingly.
"Well?" Said the orange one.
Crimson remembered the last couple of sentences. They asked her to join their club.
"OK..." She said keeping her head down.
They leaped into the air screaming, "Cutie Mark Crusaders, YAY!"
They then ran off telling her to meet them at school tomorrow. She walked off towards town, when she was tackled yet again, only this time by the mare that threw her family a party. The mare said,
"Wanna make cupcakes with me!?"
"Uhh... Sure?" Said Crim.
"Hooray!" Come to Sugarcube Corners later at 5 o-clock sharp!"
"OK..."
Then Pinkie Pie bounced off, leaving Crimson alone.

Author's Note

I know, short chapters. But its gonna get longer!
And I know that people hate cupcakes remakes, but I'll try and make this one good.

Hmmm, thats a new flavor...

Pinkie wiped down the table. It was about 2 and a meter and a half long, with thick, leather, straps. She had to replace them recently, they got to worn down. These new ones were a dark brown, still smelling fresh. She didn't know much about Crim, except she had a rare disease. Pinkie, wiping down the table, suddenly stopped and turned to Gummy, and said " I hope it doesn't ruin the cupcakes..." She shrugged it off, figuring she can add spices to it or something. She hummed the smile song, laughing when she thought of a new joke. To bad Dashie wasn't here, she would of been next. They would of had a really fun time! They could talk to Dashie, all about her job! But Pinkie Pie knew something happened to Rainbow Dash, her Pinkie senses told her. But maybe this filly could help her! Hey, maybe during it they could talk all about her, and how the funeral would be like! And, if she told her the disease, it would be easier to find the right ingredients! Pinkie Pie could hardly contain her excitement. She looked at the clock. Crim would be here soon. Pinkie Pie started to quickly clean the medical supplies. She then checked the voltage on her... Umm... Electricity machine thingy? She forgets the name. The bell on the door rang out throughout the store. She was here! Pinkie Pie hurried upstairs, closing the door behind her.

Crim walked in. What did this mare want, anyways? Just then, the pony in question ran upstairs, the basement door closing after her. She stared at Crim for a moment, seeming to size her up. Crim took a small step back, and tried to remember her name...Pinkie Pie? Yes, that sounds right. Then, Pinkie Pie started talking immediately after Crim stepped back. "Wannahelpmemakesomesupermegadelicious... CUPCAKES!?"
Crim, somehow following, nodded her head yes slowly. All of a sudden, a cupcake was in her face.
"Well? Try it! I made it special, just for you!" The pink party pony cried.
Crim took it in her hoof, then took a few bites. It tasted good. Crim felt a bit tired, and looked up at Pinkie Pie as she fell to the floor asleep, her mouth agape. Pinkie noticed the exposed fangs, and squealed happily. A new flavor! She dragged the young filly down the stairs to the basement and strapped her to the table. Knowing she would wake up in about two minutes, she went to the cart and pulled it over. She stared at her reflection in her biggest cleaver. She noticed Crim was stirring. Crim then looked around, not even fazed. Pinkie Pie was shocked. It passed. She soon started explaining what they would be doing.
"Well, first we were going to remove your cutie mark, but since you don't have one, I wanted to go straight to removing your hooves. then I was going to... you know what? How about YOU chose!"
After some thought, Crim said
"How about you start with the hooves, and we go from there?"
Pinkie Pie blinked. Crim didn't try to talk herself out of this. So she decided to start off by asking her about her disease. Crim thought, then started,
"I have CIPA, or congenital insensitivity to pain with anhidrosis." She noticed Pinkies confused look, and tried explaining it better.
"It's a rare genetic disorder that makes me unable to feel pain. I can still feel the weight of my saddlebags, or a hug from my sister, but I just don't experience pain. Some ponies would say that it's a good thing, might even call me lucky. But no, it’s not a good thing. Pain’s there for a reason. It lets your body know something’s wrong and it needs to be fixed. I’d give anything to feel pain.” Crim said. After a minute, Pinkie replied,
"Wow, not even a papercut?"
"Nope. Not even a papercut. But, my baby teeth did pose big problems. I would chew my lips bloody in my sleep, bite through my tongue while eating, and once even stuck my hoof in my mouth and stripped flesh from it. My sister says they had to buy a specially made mouth guard." replied Crim.
Pinkie was shocked. This little filly wouldn't feel the process. She grinned. Maybe she'll talk to me, and laugh at my jokes! It'll be great. Pinkie turned to her work cart and got out all the appropriate tools. She started on the front left hoof, and started a conversation.
"Does this hurt?"
"Nope"
"Not even an itsy-bitsy little tiny bit?"
"Nope, not even an itsy-bitsy little tiny bit. But you know what?"
"What?" asked Pinkie as she finished prying off the front left hoof, as Crim said,
"My first serious injury came at age 3, when I laid my hoof on a hot pressure washer in the back yard. My mom found found me staring at my red, blistered palm... Didn't feel a thing. Later that same day, I knocked out three of my baby teeth when I threw myself down the stairs repeatedly. My sister says my mom freaked out."
"You keep saying, 'my sister'. Did something happen to your parents?" Pinkie asked as she started working on the front right hoof. Crim stopped for a minute, then continued.
"My mom, who was a Pegasus, and my dad who was a bat pony were killed when they were at the bank. Somepony came in, ready to rob it, but my parents tried to subdue him. Turns out he had a gun, and the rest is history. Now, my sister takes care of me." Said Crim. Pinkie decided to change the subject.
"So, who's your sister again?"
"Her name is Arsonya. She's about your age, with a long fiery orange mane and tail with natural electric blue streaks, and a red coat. She look's like my mom. She's always trying to make friends, and encourages me to try too. But it's hard when we're moving around so much."
Pinkie paused so she could remove the hoof, and start on the bottom left. She then started talking once more, resuming the conversation.
"Why do you move so much? If its a money thing, I can hire her to work her."
"Naa, its not that. She's gonna apply at that tree library later on, anyways. It's usually because the local ponies run me out of town for being a vampire, or Arrow comes out. I don't really like Arrow, she's mean. When she comes out, ponies make us leave and we have to restart the process."
"Who's Arrow? A cousin or something?" asked Pinkie.
"No, she's my sisters split personality. She comes out when Arsonya feels threatened or becomes angry." says Crim.
Pinkie starts feeling awkward again, and says,
"hey look at your hoof."
"Woah. Is that what it looks like underneath?"
"Yep. Isn't it cool?"
"Totally." whisper-says Crim.
As Pinkie finished and was ready to remove the last hoof, she said to Crim,
"Hey, you want to see me remove the last one?"
"Yeah, that'd be cool." replied Crim.
Crim then watched carefully as Pinkie began. They were unaware of the fact that Sabre was planning on the other side of town.

Author's Note

Hey, guys. Sorry you had to wait a day. Or was it two... Will someone let me know how many days you've waited?
Also, I have been deciding what to call you guys, because 'guys' is to mainstream. Does anyone like the idea of me calling you Proxies? If not, try and give me another idea as to what to call you all.
Lets see how it looks, by ending with this:
Later Proxies
Goodbye my Proxies
Adios Proxies
Farewell Proxies
I can't decide :P

Well, this is awkward...

Sabre needed a plan. A big plan. A CNN would be all over this plan. He decided he would skydive in from above. But, it'd probably be easier if he could just trick her into talking about it. But what if she would do something again soon? He ran to the closet, and pulled out his smallest, but sharpest sword. Only about one foot long, it easy to conceal. He put it in his saddlebag, along with a bottle of poison and a muffin. Then he took out the poison, and looked at it. He put it in the closets top shelf, and walked out of his room. He then walked outdoors, and galloped at a moderate pace. As he neared the place of suspicion, he slowed down. He didn't want to draw too much attention to himself. How would he handle a situation gone bad? hopefully it wouldn't end like Rainbow Factory. He nudged the front store doors open. As he walked in, he heard laughter.
From the basement.
"Why would she tell jokes in the base..." He never finished his thought.
He ran to the door and opened it slowly. Slowly, Sabre descended the stairs downwards, and as he reached the third step from the top, he heard an electrical sounding zap come from below. He ran downstairs, wanting to save whoever was being tortured. As he rounded the corner, he saw Pinkie turn off the machine, which was attached to a young filly, who was strapped to a table. He was awaiting screams of torture. In return, he heard instead;
"So, you didn't feel that?"
"Not at all, miss Pinkie."
Sabre waited there, watching in disgust as Pinkie cut open the filly's abdomen and started by removing the stomach. Then, he was somewhat shocked when Pinkie started making jokes.
"You have to have a 'Stomach', for this job"
"Hahaha! That's hilarious, Pinkie Pie!"
Sabre walked in as Pinkie was about to remove the kidneys.
"What are you doing, Pinkie!?" he yelled.
"Oh, me and Crim here were having some fun." said Pinkie.
"You have to end all of this NOW. And, that doesn't look fun. That looks downright painful. Speaking of which, why isn't Crim here crying and screaming in pain and agony?" asked Sabre.
"Rare disease, I'll explain more later." Said Pinkie, who turned on the electric machine once more, jiggling Crim as electricity pulsed through her small body. Pinkie turned it off when Sabre glared at her, and said,
"You don't have time for later, I'm ending this." As Sabre finished saying this, he lunged at her, his glowing sword emanating from his horn. Pinkie looked to Crim and said,
"Sorry this happened..." As Pinkie Pie said this, her mane and tail deflated, and her cheery pink coat turned slightly dull.

She turned to her cart, and looked at each piece of equipment quickly, yet carefully, thinking of each tools advantages, and their disadvantages. Her eyes settled on a familiar cleaver. She grabbed it and blocked Sabre's first blow. She was surprisingly strong, and this was proved quickly when she grabbed Sabre by the throat. She shoved him headfirst to the floor, and raised her cleaver. As she sent her knife sailing down towards his chest, he punched her face. Catching her off guard, she takes this opportunity to roll out from under her, and slashing at her forehooves, making a gash across the left. She lunged at him.
"I was just trying to make some cupcakes!" She then made a gash on his side.
"You turn the ponies into cupcakes!?"
"What else would I use?" She made a jab at his head, but Sabre dodged, cutting he cheek.
"How about, I don't know, flour, eggs, milk, sugar. Normal things!"
"I use those too, silly, but the ponies make them special. I mean, I'm not sure this is even canon. Blame Sergeant Sprinkles." She then slashed at his cutie mark, leaving a gash across it.
"Wait, who?" Sabre bucked her across the room, Pinkie hitting her head on the wall.
Sabre ran over, and using his magicked up battle axe, delivered a final blow to her neck, decapitating the party planner. The filly walked over and poked the head, causing it to fall off the body and roll across the floor. He then looked over to the filly.
"Umm... Your hooves..."
"Yeah, I know."
"Your organs are kinda..."
"Mmhmm... Im aware."
"Umm... I should probably get some help..." He trailed off.
"Yeah..."
They sat in silence for a moment. Sabre then cleared his throat.
"Well, this is awkward..."

Author's Note

I know, I have been procrastinating to the most likely less than ten people who read this. Sorry, only one more chapter to go after this!