Alicorn Princess of Buck All!

by DataFuse

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy, Tragedy
Length: 1247

How would you cope with being the Alicorn Princess of nothing? Probably by doing Buck all.

How would you cope with being the Alicorn Princess of nothing? Probably by doing Buck all.

Published 2014-01-22 11:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-22 11:00:01 UTC

Life

For those of you who aren’t aware of my existence, my name is Void. Alicorn Princess. Mary sue, right? Wrong. I’m the princess of bucking nothing. NOTHING. No thing, not anything. Hell, I’m royalty and most people don’t even know I exist. Nobody notices me... even that one pony with weird eyes and a yellow mane gets more attention than me.... a lot more. Sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself, Instead of telling you about my talents, or rather, no talents, I should be telling you about my appearance. Wait, how do I begin to describe myself to an audience? I uh, have a yellow coat, a light blue mane... I have a horn and a pair of wings but, I can’t do magic and I’m a rather weak flyer. Ugh, it sucks being me. I’m just so... what’s the word? Useless. I’m no good for anything. Why am I even a Princess? It pisses me off.

I awoke in my dull room, plain white walls, blue bed sheets, a book shelf and a single desk. I opened my eyes and blinked and few times to get rid of that blurry vision you get after sleep. It didn’t seem to be going away...... I continued blinking furiously. I suppose if someone had seen me they would think I was having a fit. A soft knock on the door stopped my spastic blinking.

“Come in it’s unlocked” I said with a dry throat.

Man I needed a drink of water. My voice sounded like a wood chipper. My brother entered the room. He was a scrawny Pegasus Stallion who always thought of himself as better than others. Whether it is pushing somepony out of the way, telling them how much of a ‘Faggot’ they were or just in general being a little shit. Yep, he was a douchebag. His whole wardrobe was full of wife beaters and snapbacks. I bucking despise him. I can’t wait for the day he acts tough to a large stallion that’s having a bad day. That ought to set him straight.

“Oi, sis, what’s the matter? Why are you staring at me with that ugly smile?” he said.

Oh crap, I was lost in thought and forgot that he entered.

“Sorry, just thinking, that’s all” I screeched out with my dry throat.

“Whatever mate, I’m going down to the market, just thought I’d let you know that you’ll be home alone because Dad’s out.” He said.

“Actually, can I come with you? I need to pick up a few things”

He looked at me with disgust.

“Buck off sis, as if I’d be seen in public with you”

“Oh and fix your mane, you look like a train wreck” He said

He left fast before I could protest to him being such a prick. What did I do to deserve that? I get that I’m fully grown and have no cutiemark.... But I’m still an Alicorn, people think that’s cool right? Ahh, who cares. I got out of bed and went into the kitchen to pour myself a drink of water when I caught a glimpse of an open door in the corner of my eye. My brother’s room was open. He usually leaves it closed and locked behind him so I you can understand my surprise. This was the perfect chance to get back at him for being such a dick biscuit. I began setting traps around his room, making it so that a bucket of water would fall on him as he opened the door, putting marbles all over the ground and all that Jazz. Anyway, I had places to be, today was the day Ponyville was attempting to qualify for the Equestria Games and I intended on seeing it. I went to fix my mane and get a drink and then I was off to watch the trials.

*A long train ride later*

I opened the train door to exit. Wow, the name ‘Rainbow Falls’ was very appropriate, think about seeing a paradise with streams of glistening water. Now replace that water with... well, Rainbows. It’s a freaking awesome sight to see. The whole place was just magnificent.

“Excuse me” A voice said from behind me.

“Ah... Yes?” I said.

“Good afternoon, my name is Twilight Sparkle, I’m sorry to bother you but I can’t help but notice... well.... you’re an Alicorn. I haven’t seen you around before and I thought only way for somepony to be an Alicorn is well.... becoming a Princess” Twilight said with uncertainty.

“Oh... I uh..... My name is”

Oh god I have to think of an Alias. I don’t want people knowing the Princess of nothing’s real name. VOID LITERALLY MEANS NOTHING. OH CELESTIA. QUICK TAKE IN MY SURROUNDINGS.

“My name is.... uh... Rainbow.... Grass?”

Damn it, THAT’S THE BEST I COULD THINK OF?

“Rainbow Grass? That’s an odd name, what’s your special tale- Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you had no cutie mark.... but that still doesn’t explain you’re a pr-” She said noticing the blank spot on my flank before she was interrupted.

“Twilight, Darling, what’re you waiting for?” Said a voice off in the distance.

“Yeah Twi, get your rump movin” The second voice said.

“You don’t want to miss a second of me being awesome Twilight!” Said yet another voice.

Jeez how many friends does this mare have?

“I’m sorry I have to go!” Twilight said running off.

Just as I was thinking about the possibility of me making friends with this mare, a rude stallion pushed me over while running past. “Move bitch” He seemed to say. Although, he was far away when I heard him speak. It might have been “Boob itch” but I doubt it.
There were groups of cheerleader ponies all cheering for their home team. One team’s cheerleader even had a weird Rainbow wig too. Oh, Celestia, it was terrifying. A cheerleader pony with an ugly Rainbow wig, pom-pom’s and only a skirt on. I didn’t know what to think. Honestly the only a skirt bit was kind of hot.... I think I’m a lesbian.

The day went by smoothly, besides being completely ignored.

All the teams were doing well but I particularly noticed the cloudsdale team. The cloudsdale team consisted of the wonder bolts. Fleetfoot, Spitfire and Soarin. I considered this to be unfair but decided that as long as they we’re representing their home I guess its okay. Besides, what could I change?

My stomach started to rumble so I went to go get myself some snacks. All I managed to get was an apple. By the time I had returned everyone was looking up into the sky with worried looks on their faces. Soarin... He was falling? How did that happen? Soarin’s wing looked completely mangled. He must have hit something. Should I help him? Maybe this is my chance to stop being useless. Oh Celestia, I’ve got to help him. I can’t just stand here.

That’s what I did. I bucking stood there. Good thing another pony saved Soaring but I still can’t believe I just STOOD THERE LIKE AN IDIOT. Why can’t I be the hero for once? Why can’t people pay me attention?

“Hey, look! That Alicorn pony is getting her cutiemark!” A voice from the crowd called.

I turned to look at my flank.... and that voice was correct. I did get my cutiemark, and oh was I pissed.

MY CUTIEMARK IS A BLACK CIRCLE?!