Who says a girl can't really have it all?
Chrysalis watched Twilight Sparkle with anticipation. The changeling could hardly breathe.
The looks crossing Twilight’s face were hard to pick. She thought she could identify a few. Confusion was a prominent one, but that was understandable; how often was someone asked out by a queen?
Well, actually… she had heard rumors about downtown Canterlot, but Chrysalis couldn’t be sure if she hadn’t misheard or misunderstood the rumors.
“I—” Twilight started.
She worked her mouth silently as she attempted to process the stimuli she was encountering.
“I—” Twilight looked to her mentor for help once more.
Celestia shrugged.
“I guess so?”
“Yesyesyesyesyes!” Chrysalis clapped her chitinous hooves together. “Oh, when did you want to go? Could we go tonight? Where will you be taking me?”
Once again, Twilight’s mouth worked silently as she tried to form words her mind had not yet come up with.
How in Equestria is it that I have to decide? Didn’t you ask me out?
“H-how does the Gilded Carrot sound?” Twilight asked, unsure. “Tonight, around eight?”
“That sounds perfect!” Chrysalis turned to Celestia. “Let’s go, Celly! I need help getting ready.”
Celestia’s face flushed red with anger, both at being addressed so familiarly, and at being roped into helping the mare who no less than an hour ago had suspended her from the ceiling of the changelings room.
“You want me to help?” Celestia asked, incredulously. “After all you’ve done?”
“If you help, I promise not to try and enslave your ponies again.”
Celestia ignored the implied threat, partially because she had already proven her superior might to the Changeling Queen… but mostly because of the wibbly-wobbly lip Chrysalis was giving her.
Oh mother-of-me— the puppy dog eyes! Wait, did she morph them into actual puppy-dog eyes? That’s… disturbingly adorable.
“Fine,” Celestia barked in exasperation. “Let’s go, then! I still have a few hours of daylight left, maybe I can get something done today.”
In a flash of light, Celestia and Chrysalis were gone.
Now standing alone in her library, Twilight started to panic.
“First date! First date! Ahhhh!” She frantically dashed about the library, searching for a book on first dates. Maybe one would tell her specifically how to deal with a potential marefriend who had once kidnapped half of her family…
Ж
Twilight stood at the door to the library, her mane done up in a bun, a simple blue-and-silver cape across her shoulders, and her hooves shod in silver shoes. Light eyeshadow and a subtle blush adorned her face. From her neck hung a simple platinum pendant set with an aquamarine gemstone. It was tasteful, classic, and one-hundred-percent Rarity-approved.
“You look absolutely darling!” Rarity swooned. “Oh, I do wish you would tell me who your mysterious suitor is!”
Twilight shuffled nervously. “I— I’m not sure how excited I am about this date, to be honest. Princess Celestia… I think she set this up for me, maybe?”
“Oh, Twilight, it’s just like a faerie tale!” Rarity’s eyes sparkled. “I’ve always told you that you need to get out of this musty old library and try your hoof in the dating scene, but for the Princess to organise this date for you… he must be absolutely amazing.”
“… She might be. And actually, I’m not so sure.”
“She?” Rarity’s eyes went wide in shock. “Oh, Twilight! I am sorry, my dear. I did not know you were that way inclined. Oh, I must have seemed so insensitive and boorish when I tried to set you up with that stallion from Manehattan…”
“No, it’s not… I don’t…” Twilight protested. “I don’t know if I am that way.” Twilight shuffled her hooves nervously. “I’ve never really thought about it, to be honest.”
“Never?” Rarity asked, astonished.
“Not really,” Twilight responded. “This whole thing has kind of come out of nowhere. I’m not sure how to handle it.”
“Well…” Rarity gave Twilight a hug, being careful to avoid smudging her makeup or mussing up her mane and outfit… She had to be careful not to disturb Twilight’s ensemble, either. “I am certain you will have a wonderful time.”
A knock at the door drew their attention.
“Oh no!” Twilight panicked. “She’s here early. Rarity, quick—”
The door opened, and in stepped Celestia, along with Twilight’s date.
Rarity screamed.
After a full twenty seconds of shrieking, the marshmallow mare passed out, fainting on the floor.
“I-Is your friend alright?” Chrysalis asked.
“Yeah, she does that,” Celestia answered, rolling her eyes. “She’ll come to… soon enough.”
Chrysalis was adorned with an iridescent black-and-green silk dress, the colours subtly shifting as it molded to the sharp angles of her torso and flank. Hemming the dress was dark-teal dyed beaded lace that tastefully featured her exoticly holed hooves and wings. The changeling had foregone her normal crown in lieu of a simple tiara topped with jade stones.
“Twilight, it is not becoming of Equestrian Royalty to gawk at a suitor with one’s mouth agape.” Celestia smirked as her former student rapidly shut her mouth. Despite the interruption to her normally tightly-scheduled day, this was turning out to be rather amusing.
After an awkward silence, Celestia coughed as the two mares stood there, silently staring at each other.
“Oh, umm,” Chrysalis muttered, embarrassed. “Y-You look lovely tonight, Twilight Sparkle.”
“A—” Twilight’s words caught in her throat. She couldn’t believe she was about to say this… and truthfully. “And you look amazing too, Chrysalis.”
Chrysalis blushed deeply, her black, chitinous cheeks flushing green.
“S-Shall we go?” Twilight offered as she stiffly walked towards the open door.
Ж
Twilight was acutely aware of the fearful stares she and her date were receiving as they walked down the main street of Ponyville. The sight of ponies closing their shops, running indoors and hiding was oddly reminiscent of their treatment of Zecora when she first came to town.
Admittedly, Zecora had never led an invading army against Equestria, so maybe the response was somewhat justified.
Chrysalis, meanwhile, had been completely oblivious to the stares and fearful treatment. She was a queen, and as such, was used to servants bowing out of the way. The changeling was royalty, and expected… nay, demanded, deferential treatment.
“Stop right there this instant!”
Twilight’s friend, Applesnack, along with the pink one, the obnoxious one (or, the obnoxious one with the rainbow mane), and the insipid yellow shy one, stood in the path of Chrysalis and her date.
“Ah don’t know what y’all are up to, but Ah won’t stand for it!”
“You pathetic little ponies might have stopped me before,” Chrysalis cackled as she rose on her hind legs, “but nopony can stop me this time!”
“Wait, everypony…”
“Not a chance, Bug Brain!” Rainbow Dash buzzed past Chrysalis’ head, toppling the delicate tiara off of the changeling’s brow and into the mud.
“How dare you!” Chrysalis glowered at the four ponies. “Your insolence will not go unpunished!”
“STO~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~P!” Twilight screamed. Panting, she put herself between the changeling queen and her friends. “Girls, stop… please? Chrysalis is not up to anything; we’re just going on a date…”
Twilight reflected for a moment on the events of her life that led up to this point.
“…because apparently, that is a thing now.”
Pinkie Pie excused herself from the group, promising to be right back.
Fluttershy, who had been hiding behind the pink mare, asked cautiously, “You’re on a date? With the changeling queen?”
“I’m right here, you know…” Chrysalis pouted. Fluttershy made a small ‘eep’ sound, then ducked behind Applejack.
Pinkie Pie returned, carrying a glass of water.
“Yes.” Twilight frowned. “Chrysalis and I are going on a date—”
“Oh good, you said it again!” Pinkie took a large gulp of water, then spat it out in shock, covering Rainbow Dash, who glared at her friend. Pinkie turned back to Twilight and motioned for her to go on.
“—and we’re just going to see how things go,” Twilight finished, ignoring the interruption.
“Well what in tarnation about all that horrible stuff she’s done to ya over the years? Might Ah add, she also kidnapped mah sister and her friends?”
“Well…” Twilight looked to the changeling standing next to her. “She did say she was sorry.”
“Oh, well, that’s okay then, I think.” Fluttershy nodded.
“Wait, Fluttershy…” Rainbow Dash pinched her brow. “You’re okay with this?”
“Well, if Discord can be sorry and become my friend, then I don’t see why we shouldn’t give Chrysalis a chance.”
“I guess,” Rainbow Dash huffed, clearly not happy with the situation. She pushed her face into Chrysalis’ personal space. “But if she tries anything funny…”
Applejack turned to Pinkie Pie, hoping at least somepony would be thinking straight. Pinkie Pie gave her a look, one that said “You’re seriously looking to me for logical support?”
“Ah jus… Ah don’t…” Applejack dropped to her haunches. “Ya know what? Ah don’t care. Whatever! World’s goin’ ta Tartarus in a hoofbasket.” Applejack stood up and started towards Berry Punch’s establishment. “If’n any of y’all need me, Ah’ll be gettin’ a cider!”
Ж
“Excuse me, Sir? I have a reservation for two.” Twilight attempted to get the attention of the snooty maître d.
“Name?” he asked. Twilight was a little embarrassed at the rudeness with which the stallion would not even look at them. Rarity had tried to convince her that snooty staff was the sign of a good restaurant, but Twilight was less than convinced.
“Twilight,” she answered. “Twilight Sparkle.”
Chrysalis watched the horrified contortions that crossed the face of the impertinent little worm who had been speaking so poorly to royalty.
“P-P-Princess? Oh, I apologise profusely for my discourtesy,” the stallion stammered. His once-aloof attitude dissolved in a sea of sweat and nervousness. “My most humble apologies, Your Majesty.”
Chrysalis watched with excited anticipation. Would Twilight execute the loathsome stallion? Or would she throw him in the dungeons first, to gloat over him as he wasted away in despair… and then execute him?
“That is okay— please lead the way.” Twilight smiled as she followed the nervous stallion. He had not even looked towards Twilight’s guest yet.
Chrysalis watched Twilight’s face carefully. She was confused by the mare’s smile. Perhaps that is her “I’m going to murder your family but let you live” smile. You are such an intriguing mare, Twilight Sparkle.
The stallion led the two to a small table at the back of the restaurant. The maître d pulled the chair out for the Princess, and once she was seated, finally turned to her date.
“Ahhhh!” The stallion lost all sense of decorum as he spied the changeling queen, screaming at the top of his lungs. “Help! A changeling! Run!”
“I am a changeling queen…” Chrysalis sneered at the waiter; he deserved a little terror after the way he had treated Twilight. “…and I am still waiting to be seated, thank you.”
“It’s okay, Sir. Chrysalis is my guest tonight,” Twilight said, trying to reassure the panicking pony. “I assure you she means no harm.”
Chrysalis looked at Twilight incredulously, raising an eyebrow in question.
“You don’t mean to harm him, Chrysalis.”
“Oh, fine!” Chrysalis pouted, before lifting her hoof to her muzzle and tittering. “If it makes you happy.”
“It would. It really, really, really would,” Twilight sighed.
The maître d regained his composure, and cautiously pulled the second chair out for Chrysalis. After the two were seated and given menus, the stallion retreated rapidly, promising somepony would be along to take their order post-haste.
Twilight looked around the restaurant. Several of the patrons had taken notice of the commotion, but most had gone back to their meals. It was surprising that only a few diners were eyeing the two of them nervously.
“So…” Chrysalis drew Twilight’s attention back.
The two sat in awkward silence for a minute or two, until Chrysalis tried to break the ice a second time.
“Ummm, h-how have your brother and sister-in-law been?”
“Traumatized,” Twilight replied, before looking down at the table, embarrassed.
“Oh…”
The silence continued for several more minutes. Twilight levitated her menu, before Chrysalis followed suit. Chrysalis frowned as she skimmed through the menu; she was reasonably fluent in Equestrian, but half of the dishes on the menu were unreadable.
“What were you thinking of having?” Chrysalis asked.
“The Potato and Spinach Baeckeoffe looks nice,” Twilight replied, looking through her menu. “Though Rarity tells me the Orzo Salad is lovely, so I am not sure.”
“What would you recommend, then?”
“Oh.” Twilight put her menu down. “I’m not sure. What do changelings normally eat?”
“Well, aside from love, we are omnivores, so a good deal of our food is served with meat.”
“You eat meat?” Twilight gasped. “Y-You don’t eat ponies, do you?”
Chrysalis put her menu down, and looked at Twilight. The look of hurt across the changeling’s face was apparent, even to Twilight.
“No, Twilight,” Chrysalis sighed. “We are not barbarians. We don’t eat anything that is sapient; such practices have been outlawed for millennia.”
“O-Oh.” Twilight sunk a little lower in her seat. This date was not going overly well. “I didn’t mean to offend.”
“It’s fine,” Chrysalis replied, picking her menu up again. “Besides, ponies, griffons and minotaurs are better as a source of love.” She licked her lips. “Much tastier that way, too.”
Twilight levitated her menu again, and continued reading in silence.
“H-how are your changelings?” Twilight was determined to at least try.
“Which ones?”
“Ummm, the ones who attacked Canterlot?”
“Oh, them?” Chrysalis paused. “They’re all dead.”
“What? All of them?”
“Most of them died when we tried to take Canterlot,” Chrysalis stated, matter-of-factly.
“H-How many d— perished?”
“Oh, ummm, let me think… About three-or-four thousand. Maybe four-and-a-half. Hmmm, I was thinking about trying that Baeckeoffe you mentioned, if you weren’t going to get it.”
Tears came unbidden to Twilight’s eyes. She knew they had to protect Canterlot, but to know that she was indirectly responsible for the death of so many…
“How are the survivors? Are they okay?”
“Oh, they died not long after that, after they failed me again when we tried to take you.”
Twilight paled. “Y-You killed them?”
“Eh, they’re drones.” Chrysalis shrugged. Noticing Twilight’s silence, she looked up and added, “It’s okay, I made more.”
The two continued flipping through their menus in silence.
“Are the two of you ready to order?” the waiter asked, after a polite cough.
“Oh Celestia yes thank you!”
Ж
“This is pretty good.” Chrysalis stabbed at her Baeckeoffe with a silver fork. Twilight had opted for the Orzo salad after Chrysalis had informed her that mushrooms were a great source of iron and protein if you couldn’t get your hooves on some meat. “It’s a shame they don’t serve sides of love here.”
This, at the very least, was a topic that Twilight was very interested in. How anypony could feed on an abstract force was beyond her. “I find it hard enough to understand how you can feed on love, but how can you serve love?”
“Well,” Chrysalis replied, putting her fork down, “most of the time it is extracted directly from the vic—donor, but that is usually in a vapor state. Changelings can then mix that with our saliva, and create a love ichor. It serves many purposes; we can store it for long journeys, or feed our young…” She stopped to think back. “You remember those cocoons my changelings put the ponies in? They are filled with our love ichor. It gets the ponies inside thinking about— Well…”
Chrysalis blushed profusely. Looking across the table at her date, she noticed Twilight was also flushed green in the face.
Oh my, Twilight Sparkle. What naughty thoughts are going through your mind?
Ж
Twilight Sparkle stood outside the doors to the Golden Oaks Library; her date stood across from her, waiting.
“Well, tonight has been an… educational experience,” Twilight finished diplomatically.
Chrysalis leaned her neck across Twilight’s, then nuzzled her cheek. “I had a wonderful time, Sparkle. Do you think we might be able to do this again soon?”
Twilight had to think back on the night. It was perhaps the strangest night she had had in many years, and with her tenure as Celestia’s student, then as a princess of Equestria, she was no stranger to… uh, strange nights.
Aside from the awkwardness, she had had fun. Or at least she thought she had fun. Chrysalis had been somewhat pleasant company, if she could look past the homicidal tendencies.
And that number she wore… well, Twilight wasn’t sure, but the changeling certainly looked very alluring in the ensemble.
Did she want to do this again?
Ж
“‘Not if my life depended on it’?” Chrysalis wailed. “H-how could she‽ I did everything you said!”
Celestia looked down at her midnight intruder. Before being rudely awoken, the princess was having a lovely dream. Her sister had taken over the day court for a month, and Celestia was lounging about the balcony of a condo along the beachfront of Horseshoe Bay. She had been held in the rugged arms of…
Not the Queen of the Changelings.
For the past twelve minutes she had been suffering Chrysalis’ sobs, trying to avoid the strange green fluid leaking from the changeling’s eyes that stained her sheets and barrel. She ignored both the awkward feeling it was eliciting in her, and the fact that she might have to explain the stains to her seneschal in the morning.
“How could she be so callous? I could have been anyone she wanted. I mean literally— changeling here. I could be whomever she desires.”
Celestia awkwardly ran a comforting hoof through Chrysalis’ holey mane.
Within seconds, the waterworks stopped. Chrysalis sat up, pushing away from Celestia.
“Is your sister single?” she asked.
“If I say yes—” Celestia yawned. “If I say yes, will you leave?”
Ж
Luna was exhausted. An altercation with an owlbear in the Everfree that night had taken more out of her than she had planned.
She stumbled up to her chambers, desperately seeking her bed. Celestia could lower her moon at dawn; all Luna cared about at this moment was sleep.
As soon as she slid under her sheets, a pair of hard hooves wrapped themselves around the midnight alicorn.
“WHAT ART THOU DOING IN MY BED?”
Luna stood at the side of her bed, panting from fright. The changeling queen slithered seductively under the deep-blue silk sheets, giving the princess her best “come hither” look.
“I thought…” Chrysalis trailed her chitinous hoof across the soft sheet. “I thought I could be your snuggle-bug.”
