An Apache Attack helicopter flies into Equestria (and almost kills Rainbow dash)

by USSOakland

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Adventure, Twilight Sparkle, Random
Length: 8401

what happens when a Boeing AH-64 Apache flys into Ponyville air space? well lets say a certian rainbow-colored somepony gets rudely awoken

a beautiful morning in Ponyville is interrupted by the loud powerful sounds of blades from Americas deadliest flying vehicle. With a machine of war in Equestrian airspace, how will the locals and government officials react to such a dangerous weapon landing in Ponyville? How will the Pilots of such aircraft react to the new, peace loving, magical world of Equestria? And how will those pilots survive the wrath of Equestria's greatest flyer, due to them flying into and destroying her cloud home?

*SPOILERS*
Helicopters

(story written to help ease writers block, and helicopters are cool ) *Edited and proof read by*Tezz LaCoil

Published 2014-01-22 23:50:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-21 23:32:24 UTC

The chapter in which Rainbows house gets demolished (edited)

Edited byTezz+LaCoil

Sunday morning.

The day where ponies are off from work, foals go out to play in Celestia’s morning sun, birds sing, and a flying metal hunk o' death flew into, and obliterated, half of Rainbow Dash's house. Certainly it was a typical, beautiful Sunday morning.

[[Sunday, 10:32 AM, above Ponyville]]

The sun shone between the curtains of Rainbow Dash's room. One very well placed ray of light had been creeping up towards her face since sunrise and had reached its destination. Rainbow scrunched her eyes and turned away from the light that was suddenly invading her restful sleep. She tossed and turned until finally sitting up on her bed, wanting desperately to fall asleep again. However the morning sun had other plans as she went to pull the covers up to her face and accidentally grabbed the end of the drapes, effectively tearing the whole thing off the wall and causing a loud crash. With the curtains gone, a flood of light poured through the window and smacked Rainbow in face with an angry, bright wrathfulness. The blue pegasus screeched, reeled back from the light like a vampony and landed in a position on the bedroom floor similar to a scorpion.

"OK FINE! I'M AWAKE NOW, HAPPY?" Rainbow Dash yelled at the window.

Getting up, she dazedly trotted to the kitchen for some well needed breakfast, as she has skipped dinner the night before so she could go to flight training.

Haphazardly, she opened a cabinet and selected a cereal at random. The rainbow-maned mare put the box on the table and went over another cabinet and took out a bowl, then placed the bowl on the table and poured the cereal into it. With that task completed, she then trotted over to the refrigerator and looked inside.

No milk.

"BUCKING HORSEAPPLES!' she slammed the refrigerator door and sat down, subsequently smacking her face onto the tabletop and groaning.

"How can this get any worse, the curtain, now this? All I want is a little cereal!"

Rainbow knew that such a small thing was barely worth getting worked up about, but because of her hunger she was cranky.

After uttering those fateful words, her ears flicked up and turned to the kitchen window. A low hum seemed to emanate from the glass pane.

With a quizzical tilt of her head, Rainbow Dash stood up from her chair, approached the window and pressed her ear to it. The same, low humming noise could still be heard. However it wasn't coming from the window, it was coming from outside the window, and strangely enough, the more she stood there the louder the sound became. In fact, the sound seemed to be getting closer. With that revelation in mind she started to unlock and open her window to look outside. Nothing out of the ordinary was outside, just a large tree, and the wild blue yonder.

VEERRRMM
WOOSH WOOSH WOOSH

Rainbow snapped her gaze to the large tree below her house. From behind the tree arose a huge, lumbering greenish-brown metal creature. It had somehow just appeared behind the pine tree and was looking straight at her! Or was it? She was unable to tell if it had eyes or not, but as she stared down at it she could see some details. Its "wings" seemed to be spinning around at a very fast rate, so fast in fact, that she could not see any of them properly. Atop said spinning wings sat a strange ball of unknown reason.

As she moved her attention down to the "head" of the creature she noticed that it had a see-through glass like skull. For a second Rainbow thought that it looked like there where things moving inside the beast’s skull. As she continued to observe, Rainbow mae not that the face of the creature had a round, dome shaped thing on the front which was constantly moving about, almost like an eye. That is when the ball thing turned and looked directly at her.
She froze as she stared back at it. The "eye" did not look like an eye at all, but instead more like the lens of a photographer’s camera.

Without warning, the inside of the head started to flash red and the metal creature then began to tilt sideways and wobble about. Rainbow could only stare in awe as the creature's tail sparked and started to smoke. As it struggled to stay afloat the great metal beast started to lean, and then fly directly into towards Rainbows house.

"HOLY-" was all she had time to sputter before...

… Before she was cut off by the loud sound of her house being ripped apart by the metal beast as it flew directly into her home. Cloud material exploded everywhere, sending bits of furniture and bits of her home towards Rainbow, who had ducked and dove to cover behind a nearby, somehow still intact couch. Just as soon as it began, the carnage stopped as an eerie silence took over. The next thing she heard was the sound of the mysterious beast moving away from her obliterated home. Rainbow stood up from where she had been taking refuge and looked at the destruction.

Half of her house was missing.

The kitchen, where she had stood only moments before, was just open sky. Her jaw fell completely to the ground as she stared at her home and the, which had all in one peice only seconds before.

Rainbow flew out from her house and stood on the roof and saw that the creature was headed straight for Ponyville, judging by the trail of smoke that it had left in its wake. Leaving her anger, shock and confusion behind her, the blue pegasus bolted up and flew towards her town, hoping she could get ahead of the beast and warn her friends before more terrible things could happen.

[[Ponyville town square, 11:15 AM]]

Twilight made her way though the large crowd of ponies who were shopping, selling and haggling at the various market stands. As she walked though, Spike sat up from his usual dramatic position of boredom on her back.

"Aww come on Twilight, do we HAVE to get new quills? I mean, we have like a hundred more in the storage closet." the purple dragon whined.

"I know spike, but those quills are outdated and dull. They won't write as well as the new ones we’re going to get. I’ll try to make this as quick as possible." she reassured, but suddenly remembering something “Oh, I nearly forgot! We have to pick up some apples at Applejack's stand, we have none after that salad party we hosted."

As the two walked through the crowd, they soon spotted Applejack who was working at her usual spot in the market place. Applejack turned away from what she was doing and, seeing her friends, waved them over towards her.

"Howdy Sugercube!' she said in greeting, "So, what brings you outta yer house? Is it ‘re-organize the library for tha' millionth time day?” she asked, adding “Also know as Sunday?"

Applejack had known Twilight long enough to conclude that she had designated certain days for maintaining the library in which she lived. Sometimes sunday happened to be one of those days more than others.

"Oh no no no! Today? That's just silly, I re-organize the library TWO times in one month. The next time I clean is next week's Sunday." Twilight said with a smile.

"Oh, riiight." said Applejack.

"Anywho, I came by today to buy a bushel of apples."

Twilight handed over a small hooffull of bits and laid them on the stand where Applejack tcould count them. When she had finished, Applejack then produced a bucket of apples from behind the counter.

"Ah whole bushel? Ah see that yer stockin up fer winter, smart girl." stated Applejack, as she gave the bucket to Twilight.

"Many thanks Applejack."

"No problem Twi!" the orange earth pony smiled.

A small rattling noise rang out between the space of the two friends. Twilight looked down at the bits on the counter, where they vibrated and moved slightly about. Moments later, their movement intensified as they started to vibrate more fiercely and fall of the counter.

However, the bits weren't the most concerning thing as what caught their attention next could only be described as a huge metal object that flew overhead and hovered over the town square, slightly wobbling as it started to descend. Ponies started running about and screaming in a frantic panic while Twilight took up a defensive stance as the object neared the ground. The wind from the thing was immense and it threw stands stands around as well as knocking over ponies.

"What the hay is that!?" screamed spike.

"I have no idea, but I think we're about to find out!" yelled twilight as she charged an offensive spell.

in time, the metal thing landed, its wings slowing down producing a mechanical whine. Once the thing's wings were slow enough, Twilight saw that they were not in fact wings, but propellers. It kinda looked like an upside-down fan. Once all the commotion died down, and the machine stopped moving, Applejack popped up from behind her stand, one of the few that still remained upright and intact.

"Uhhhh, well are you gonna take ah gander at it or what?" she said slightly paralyzed from fear.

"I'm think I'll take a look. Spike stay with Applejack." said Twilight.

The little dragon jumped off Twilight’s back and ran to hide behind Applejack’s stand with the country mare.

As Twilight stepped forward, she the sound of a jet racing at mach speed and witnessed a blue blur as Rainbow Dash almost materialized in front of her.

"Twi -*huf*- light! Don't *gasp* go near *huf* that THING!" Rainbow barely managed to say as the two stood in front of the strange machine.

"O~k? And why do you sound like you flew a marathon?" Twilight asked.

"I-I flew here to warn you about that…that…whatever it is!" she pointed with her hoof toward the object.

"Really, is it dangerous? I mean I want to inspect it but... what if its just some Dragon-creatue-thing that lost its way home? If we can get Fluttershy to help it back home then maybe-" she was cut off by Rainbow jumping into the air.

"IT DESTROYED MY BUCKING HOUSE!"

"It what?!" Twilight then reeled back in fear at the object.

"Why? Did you provoke it? Did it see you as prey? And how it that destroy your house? I don't see claws or anything."

"No, no! It literally flew and crashed into my house! The bucking thing almost killed me!" Rainbow yelled as she looked at the object with extreme menace

"Uhh girls" Applejack warned, "It’s start'n tah move again!"

The three friends swiveled their heads towards object.

The top of it had indeed started to move up with the see-through top of the creature moving to lift off it like a lid. Inside, two creatures sat. One was slightly elevated above the other. Both of the creatures started to climb up and out of the object and ponies around could see that both of them were bipedal and they had claw like paws and wore a jumpsuit of some sort. On their heads was a helmet with a weird looking visor that slightly jutted out from the face it. Then one of the creatures reached up and pulled off the head covering to reveal a face that looked like a monkey’s, but significantly less hairy and only having a small patch of brown hair on its head. It also had eyebrows as well as a 5 o'clock shadow.

Holding the helmet in its paw, it turned and looked at the other creature. It then did the did something unexpected: It spoke.

"Great job dick-head! Looks like your navigational skills really payed off this time."

The one called "dick-head" looked at his angry partner.

"Hey! who you call'n dick-head? YOU were the one that said ‘OH WE SHOULD GO OUT OF THE BASE'S AIR SPACE!’” as it threw up its arms in frustration.

"I only said we should got out BECAUSE we should of been patrolling the border after last nights mortar attack!" the other one retorted.

"FUCK! This is worse then when we almost got lost in Mogadishu! I cant’ even tell where we are!" It started to look around, it then spotted the three friends who were currently staring dumbfounded at the sight.

"What the.."
One of the creatures turned and looked straight at Twilight and Rainbow, its jaw then joined Twilight's and Rainbow's on the floor as it stared at them.

Without looking at its partner, it spoke with utter confusion and shock.

"You really screwed us this time Nick."

Author's Note

SO. how was it? I do not know if I might make another chapter, like I said, I made this story to help ease my writer's block I have been having lately. I will continue the story if i get positive feed back

until then, thanks for reading :D

Time to get the hell out'a Kansas

Woopdy fucking doo

As I sat down at the nearest table I could find, and looked down at the pile of crap I was just given on my tray. The "meal" that I had on my plate was what we call around here "Shit on a Shingle". Oh what is that exactly? well basically it’s just mush of egg,meat, and any other stuff they bought from the local village market 3 miles out from the base, the pile o' mush is then served on a stale piece of toast, I know what you’re thinking, "doesn't that taste horrible?" in short,

Yes, yes it does.

But it’s a tad bit bearable with salt. And by salt I mean ALL of the salt, like an entire shaker of it. Supposedly, its packed chock full of protein, as well as the chefs that serve it say that "it builds muscle" or "that'el put meat on ya bones". It’s just a bunch of malarkey, I'm a solid 150 lbs (I know, I lift) and I all ways have been since I got deployed here. Any who, I picked up my lame excuse of a meal and considered eating for the millionth time, until nick unceremonious came by and scared the shit outta me,

"Hey Brian!"

"HOLYFUCKINGHSHIT!" I screamed and spazzed about, promptly dropping my "food" in the progress.

"What the fuck Nick?!, I told you not to sneak up on me like that, not after Herat..." I trailed off

"Aw you cant take a little jump scare?" he said

"You know what happened to me dingus." I retorted

So what exactly happened in Herat? Well long story short, I was flying a group of marines into a hot-zone when my Helo or (if you wanna get technical) Sikorsky HC-53E "Super Stallion" and was hit by an RPG, I couldn't re-gain control and fell out of the sky, crashing into the side of a hill. The crash killed 13 of the 15 marines (and my co-pilot), the other 2 where severely injured. After the crash I crawled out of the wreckage and limped away from the helo.

And surprise, surprise! I had crash not even 10 meters away from the RPG team that shot me down, when I walked up the hill, I came face to face with an insurgent from the RPG team. It took to awhile for both of us to figure out what the fuck was going on until he pulled the gun on me and began firing. Lucky he shot like shit and I just jumped out of the way and barrel rolled down the hill like a dumb ass. At the bottom of the hill I could see him and the rest of his terrorist pals loading their weapons. I have never been so close to death in my entire life, I was injured, stranded, without a weapon and about to become a human pasta strainer. I closed my eyes waiting for the enviable.

The sound of a mini gun tearing up some serious lead exploded in my ears as my eyes shot open to see the heavenly sight of a V-22 Osprey flying into a hovering position over me. Apparently a ranger squad in the osprey had seen my chopper go down and went in for search and rescue of the crash they had just witnessed. After that, whenever I round corners or when people make sudden appearances, my mind flashes to the face of that afghan insurgent, staring straight at me with all the hate, malice and pure animalistic desire to kill.

Aaand that's why children, I don't like surprises, SO anyway back to dumb-ass Magee and his heart stopping appearance.

"Yeah, yeah, well, hey sometimes I forget what happened with you at Herat, didn't you get over your fear or something? Like when you went to that on-base therapist?"

Nick took a bite out of his shit shingle, honesty I have no idea how he eats that stuff.

"Well you do know its pretty dam hard to talk about your "feelings" when the base is being hit with fucking mortars."

He almost spat out his food when he snorted,

"PTSHH, HA, I remember that! You went to Dr. O'Donald's office right before the attack."

"Laugh all you want, but until you come face to face with a crazed terrorist that shoots like Helen Keller with a blind fold on, then don't come crying to me." I retorted

*BITTZZ*

*Lieutenant Nick Keloski and Captain Brian Nash are to report to Colonel Hewitt's office immediately *

"What the hell did you do this time Nick?"

"Uhhh"

"Well, that's not a good answer."
_________________________________________Colonel's Hewitt's office, 9:01 AM

"Do you understand why I called you down here boys?"

"No sir" we both replied

Both of us were standing in front of Colonel in his office, something that almost every rookie fears the moment they step foot on the base. Now I'm not saying Colonels a bad guy, he just...imposingly daunting, he stands at about 6'6, VERY large, (and by large I mean muscular). This man looks like he bench presses Abrams tanks every morning, and his eyes are fucking terrifying.
They should be a weapon with in its self. He could look at any hardened veteran and make him shiver with dread, if looks could kill, he could wipe out an entire tank battalion with one glance.

"Well, take a seat." he motion to the two chairs sitting in front of his desk.

As we both sat down he began talking,

"You both have been picked randomly by me and other high ranking officials to do some....military testing."

Uh oh

"The U.S government has been experimenting with cloaking and stealth technology for many years, and in 2011 we had finally been able to reproduce a stealth technology so advanced it could make any aircraft, boat, or vehicle virtually invisible."

"Like, to radar, or something?" said Nick stupidly

No Nick, invisible to flying alien horses. I spat internally

"Actually Lieutenant, the cloak is optically invisible." said Colonel with a smirk

Both of our jaws dropped respectively as our brains processed the information.

"You two heard right, our boys in the lab have been able to make vehicles disappear by using electromagnetism and some other science crap." Colonel then got slightly serious

"Are you boys’ familiar with the Philadelphia Experiment?"

Nick then instantly responded,

"Um ye-yeah, in the forties, th-the navy wanted a way to keep magnetic mines from attracting to ships, s-so they did an experiment, and supposedly the ship turned invisible and disappeared." Nick stammered out, the excitement in his voice was prominent.

"But that's just a conspiracy theory, r-right?"

Colonel then looked at us with a predators smile,

"Who said it’s a theory."

Nick practically fainted at his words. Now if you’re wondering why he so worked up about this, you may need to know that Nick is a HUGE science nerd, he loves science fiction and future technology concepts. Every time DARPA or Boston dynamic comes out with a new YouTube video showcasing those fucking weird ass robot-terminator-deer things, he goes fucking nuts and won’t shut up about it all day. So something like this is like saying NASA found a four legged alien on the fucking moon, basically he's visibly vibrating with excitement.

"So, after we did some testing with a Drone, we had some...problems. There must have been an error in the drone’s computer, when it turned invisible, it flew about a hundred meters away from the testing site and then it just fell off the radar map. As well as having no visual contact, we were never able to recover it."

"And why does this involve us?" I asked

"We deiced that we need human test pilots and test vehicles to test the newer version of the cloak."

Well crap, I think I know where this is going

"You two are going to be flying your Apache and test out the new technology."

Bingo, I was right on the money

Nick practically jumped out of his chair with excitement.

"Really? WE get to fly it? AWESOME." he then proceeded to fist pump the air

"Professionalism, Lieutenant." warned Colonel, narrowing his eyes

Nick instantly sat straight up and cleared his throat,

"Ah," *achem* "yes sir"

"Good, both of you are to report to the hanger at 0930 hours, is that clear?"

We both snapped straight up, standing and locking our arms in a salute,

"YES SIR"

"Great, now go, I have a shit ton of paper work needing to be done."

Walking out, Nick, for the second time of the day, gave me ANOTHER heart attack

"fuck YEAH!" he screamed right into my ear

"AHH what the fuck dude!" I glared daggers at him

"Oops sorry, I'm just so excited! i cant wait to fly Ignus with cloaking tech! I wonder what she'll look like with it on? oh wait, she'll be invisible..." I promptly face palmed at the comment

"Well, Well, Well, isn't it Captain faggatron and his side kick the Amazing-Retardo." snorted a VERY cocky and annoying voice

I came up from my face palm to see a man with blond hair, blue eyes and a extremely smug look on his face. He was wearing a flight suit with a boars head embalm on one of his patches, under his arm was a helmet with the design of shark mouth.

"Richard" I spat

"Yes, me. I just got off from ANOTHER mission, one in which I took out an entire insurgent ambush force on a mountain top with only one J-dam. And my accuracy it was spectacular, and might I say, perfect." his entire face turned into an expression of very proud, VERY dickish smirk.

"J-dams are GPS guided,dumb ass, all you have to do is press a button." I retorted

" And I'm pretty sure a drone could do a better job than your half ass shit." Said Nick

"Whatever" he replied

So, who is this Richard or "Dick" (if you catch my drift)? well, he is a "top" A-10 Thunderbolt or "Warthog" Pilot who constantly brags about how Warthogs are the best aerial vehicle because they help the ground troops ooh so much blah blah blah. Anyhow he is generally a prick and no one likes hanging around with him,mostly because he is such..a..fucking...buzz kill. And by buzz kill, I mean it. it's imposable to strike up a conversation with him because all he talks about is him or his plane.

"At least I can use an ordnance, unlike you." he snickered a little

"That was only ONCE, the fucking sidewinder was defective and it wouldn't fire!"

"Suuuure... but whatever, who cares anyway? I'll leave both of you to do what ever you helo pilots do."

He then walked off in the most douches swagger I have ever seen.

"come on, lets go" said Nick pulling my arm as I seared holes with my eyes into the back of Dick's head.

____________________________________________________Charles Air force base,Shindand Afghanistan, hangar No 5, 9:30 AM

We both walked through Hanger 5, our feet echoing over the noise of mechanics working on aircraft and the chattering of scientist.

wait, scientists?

as we approached a group of scientist who where crowed around our Apache, Aether ignus or "Heaven's Fire" a woman step out in front of us and stopped me could with her arm.

"No personnel are allowed in this hanger unless authorized, do you have an ID?" she spoke with a cold and professional tone, like as if she done this kind of thing every day.

"Um no, but I was told-"

"Nope, no ID, no authorization, get out." she said rather harshly, as she began to push us away from our helicopter.

"But where the pilots Colonel sent, to test the cloak-thing." the pushing stopped as she looked at us and narrowed her eyes, then she clicked her pen and looked at a clip board she was holding, she went though several papers and then cocked her had and raised an eyebrow.

"Captain Brian Nash?"

"That's me ma'am" I responded confidently

"And I presume your Lieutenant Nickolas Keloski?"

"Yup, and you can call me nick for short..he he" Nick responded sheepishly

"Ok then, follow me pilots." She motioned us to follow her towards the Ignus

"I'm sure Colonel Hewitts has briefed you on the new tech."

"Yes he has ma'am, he told us all about it" Nick spoke up

"Oh really?" She huffed

"I'm sure he didn't go through the trouble telling you how it actually works."

Nick stood quite as he pondered the question, as for me, I was now generally interested, how did it work?

"We'll basically it just magnets, but I'll get into later." She said.

I then completely forgot about something.

"Oh, I never got your name, miss...."

"DR. Quartez"

"oh, sorry." I sheepishly whispered

She push a few buttons on a console and the went over to a touch screen monitor,
poking and slide at things on the glass surface.

"So, do you see that ball thing on the belly of the aircraft?" She motioned with her head to the Apache.

Under the helicopter, was a oval-ballish looking object about the same size of a basket ball, it was completely
chrome and was super reflective. When looking at the aircraft, I kinda looked like a tumor growing out of the belly.
I turned to Dr.Quartez, who was now currently copying a diagram of the computer screen onto a notepad.

" Yeah, so what is it?"

"That is what we have dubbed a "Super Magneto" it creates a very high amount of electromagnetic radiation that
when turned to certain frequency, can manipulate light particles and distort wave lengths of certain electromagnetic
radiation waves."

"What." I said pretty stupidly

Nick then perked up,

"It's basically a huge tuning fork with a magnet attached to it"

"Exactly" she said

A scientist that was fiddling with the Magnet came up to the Doctor and began showing her papers,

"The aircraft is ready for take off with the device, when do we start testing ma'am?" He said

Looking over the papers, she said with a hint of excitement in her voice,

"You ready to fly boys?"

_________________________________________________________________10:34 AM above Charles Airforce base

The sound was beautiful, the sound of my lady purring as we did a sharp right. The way she was so willing was I moved the joystick forward, my loving touch of my finger as I pressed a button to unleash a maelstrom of hot lead directly at a dummy tank.

oh the moment was so perfect, every thing felt perfect when was in my lady,

my Apache.

*tzzzt*

"hey dumb ass were about to crash into the tower!"

Shit! I thought as I swerved away from the flight tower, almost hitting it. I probably gave everyone inside a fucking heart attack.

*tzzzt*

"Ok Captain, were about to begin the experiment." said a voice over the radio, who I recognized as the Dr's

"Sure thing Doc, tell me what to do and I'll just fly."

"Great, we are about to turn on the first stage of the Super Magneto, you may feel a small tingling sensation."

Soon enough, I felt a small jolt in the aircraft frame, followed by the same pins and needles sensation the Doc talked about.

"Ok now what?" I asked

*tzzzt*

"see that hoop in the distance?"

I scanned the ground for the "hoop" she had told me about.

sure enough, about 20 meters out, was a large, silvery, half hoop thing on a post that stood at about 50 feet up from the ground.

"What the fuck is that?" Nick asked to nobody

"That Lieutenant, is what charges the electrical field around your aircraft, even more than it is now. the hoop cause the magnetic field to increase by fifty times its original power."

"So what do we do?" I asked

"Just fly through it and you will become optically invisible in about 10 seconds." her voice echoed over the radio.

"Well here goes nothing" my voice was shaken slightly with nervousness.

The Apache tipped forward slightly as I guided it toward the hoop. As we neared it, blots of electricity jumped from the aircraft to the ring.

Welp, I'm about to see whether or not I blow the fuck up, or disappear.

The helicopter passed right through the hoop with out resistance.

*tzzzt*

"Good, now that the final stage of the cloak if finished, we can being visual and radar testing." Doc begin to speak over the radio,

"It a few seconds, a cloud of green mist or fog should appear around your vehicle."

Sure enough, strange green fog seemed to appear out of thin air, and being to envelop the helicopter. i stop flying forward due to the fog obscuring the my view of the outside world. I could not see any thing out side of the canopy, just a dark metallic green cloud.

"Ok pilots" the Doctor spoke once again over the radio

"All you have to do is just fll.....y"

*TZZZZZZZZTT*

Her voice trailed off and was cut by the sound of severe radio interference

"Doctor do you copy? Doctor come in." All I got in reply was the dull, haunting noise of static.

I then transferred over to the radio frequency of the Air traffic control tower.

"Tower, tower, do you copy? this is Captain Brain Nash. Come in tower, I have lost radio contact with Doctor.Quartez." The same static-y noise was heard over the mic.

This is about the point where I start to panic, I quickly then turned off my flight radio and turned my my cockpit communicator.

"Nick, you there?....Nick answer me dammit!"

.
.
.
.
.
.

"Yeah I'm here, you big baby." I breathed a sigh of relief as I heard him chuckling over the mic.

"Oh boy, you should of heard your voice, you where like "I'm Brian, and I cant be left alone cuz I'ma big wuss" HA"

I could feel my blood literary begin to evaporate from my veins with the amount of anger I was holding back.

"If there wasn't four inch ballistic glass between us, I would sock you up side the head so fucking hard right now." I threatened.

"YEAH, suuure.....ok what the fuck?"

"What is it?"

"My gauges are going fucking apeshit haywire! what about yours?"

I looked down at my console, my gauges, where indeed bugging the fuck out as well, the primary flight display was reading we where doing barrel rolls. The Altimeter was spinning around in circles, the airspeed instrument was at full speed, the in-aircraft magnetic compass was spinning like the altimeter.

Basically, my Apache wouldn't chill the fuck out.

vvvvvvvVVVRRRRREEEMMMMM

A loud, vacuum like sound pierced my hearing through the low hum of the engines. Looking up, I saw the cloud of fog start to swirl into a vortex in front of the nose. The Apache started to tilt and lean toward the aperture in the vortex.

"Uhhh..Brian, why are we flying into that thing?"

"I don't know, why you asking me?" I quickly said.

"because your flying us into it!" he yelled through the mic

"No I'm not, my hands aren't even on the stick!"

I looked back at the vortex, we where very close, way to close. I don't wanna know whats on the other side of that thing.

"Well, hang on tight Nick, and PLEASE don't shit yourself like the last time we flew."

"HEY, I was sick and the G's we pulled MADE me stink up the ApaAAACHEEE!"

Nick screamed as the world flashed white, a pit in my stomach formed and I whited out from a extreme sense of exhaustion.

Author's Note

And so, that concludes the 2nd chapter of the story, basically this chapter is to show what happened before they got to Equestria and how they did. As well as introducing the characters a little, and giving them a background.

there are a lot of words too, ( a nice big juicy chapter for ya' if i say so myself )

comment on how you guys would like me to tweak the characters personality just a little, and weather or not the plot is going the right way, ( just wanna make you guys happy :D)

and thank you all so MUCH for 200 fav's! love you guys, and keep on reading

/)

Hello, my name is (insert witty helicopter pun here)

Hello, my name is (insert witty helicopter pun here)

Twilight stood still, her legs frozen by fear as she gazed upon the two bipedal figures the where currently staring back at her as well. though only just one hundred feet away from her, she still was shaking slightly from shock and nervousness. looking back at Rainbow, she slowly mouthed, "should I go near it?". Dash mouthed back, "I don't know? just go if you want." Twi glanced back at the pair, both where shaking their heads and blinking repeatedly, like if they were comprehending the sight of her.

Twilight then started to slowly advance toward them, cocking her head as they backed up into the flying machine. Speaking of the flying machine, it was nothing like Twilight had ever seen before. It was smooth, yet looked like it could take a direct swipe from the paw of a Ursa minor. Come to thing of it, the more she analyzed the craft, the more she could see the dramatic resemblance it had to Pinkie's flying contraption, yet this one looked thick and heavily armored. On the sides of it, she could see that there where stubby airfoils, underneath them where thick tubes with holes in the front and back. Next to the tube-things, where larger and thicker cylinders with fins on the back of them, each cylinder was arranged in a rack of fours.

Twi turned her gaze back to the creatures. As she pointed out before, they look quite odd, in fact, they seemed almost ape-like with there facial structures and paws. She titled her head at one of the apes, his face was showing wariness and discomfort as she stared at him. Viably seeing the primates discomfort, she decided to be friendly and try to communicate with it,

"Um..Hello!, my Name is Twilight Sparkle. It's very nice to meet y-"

"HOLY FUCK DON'T EAT ME, MUTANT TALKING HORSE!" it screamed as it held up it's hands in front of it's face.

"I-what" she said.

"Why would I EAT you?" Twi added with slight concern and curiosity

Rainbow then literary flew into the conversation by speeding towards them and hovering right in front of the ape's face,

"Wait, wouldn't you eat US?" Rainbows voice was questioning and held an angry undertone.

"N-no! I don't eat horse, nor even tried. Plus, YOUR THE ALIENS, that's what aliens do, they eat people, I think..."

Dash's face contorted into one of a "are you fucking serious?" category.

"IM the alien?" YOU FLEW YOUR SPACE SHIP-THING INTO MY BUCKING HOUSE!" She screamed

"What do you mean "your house"? and I'm pretty sure if we would have flown into a house we wouldn't be talking right now." it said.

Rainbow blinked and shock her head, as if to try to comprehend the creatures lame excuse for clearly destroying her home. How could have them not flown into, or even see the huge cloud house? She snorted with rage and glared daggers at the alien monkey.

"Annnyway!" Twilight dragged out.

"I guess this wouldn't be a proper greeting if you two don't tell us your names, right? he..he.." She trailed off, tying not to sound to awkward.

She then remembered one of the alien's name, the other one shouted it earlier, even though it was a strange and vulgar one,

"Your name is...Dickhead I presume, Nice to meat you Dickhead" she reached out her hoof for a shake while happily smiling.

Dickhead and his friend both stared in shock as they looked at the unicorn. She recoiled her hoof back, think she may have just made a rude cultural gesture that offended them. Then, the other ape broke out on an uncontrollable laughing fit and put it's hand on the aircraft to steady itself.

"HAAA...HA HA! It called you Dickhead! HA, I cant breathe!" the ape shouted as it slapped its knee.

"Its a fitting name too" Rainbow muttered under her breath.

"Excuse me?" questioned Twi,

"Nothing"

Once the other creature calmed down from its laughing episode, it began to talk,

"Oh boy, that's rich. Anyhow my name is Captain Brian Nash, and "Dickhead" is Lieutenant Nick Keloski. Where Untied States Air Force Apache helicopter pilots" He pointed his thumb at the aircraft behind him.

"I mean, its a bit obvious..."he trailed

"Hiya Twilight!" said a cheerfully bubbly voice

everyone turned around to see Pinkie Pie standing on the top of the Apache's radar dome. She was waving at the group while being simultaneously oblivious to the machine she was standing on. In a flash, she zip off the dome and appeared right in-front of Captain Nash. Then, like a biblical flood, questions started to gushed out of the pink mare's mouth,

"OhmyCelestiaareyoureallyalienmonkeysbecuasuesthatssocool,ohigottamakea"welcometoponyvillealiens"partyforyou!"

Brian's head jolted back as his face twisted into a look of overwhelming confusion as the mare bombarded him with questions. Thankfully, Twilight stepped in to stop the poor creature from drowning in Pinkie's questions.

"I like ice cream!, do alien monkeys like ice cream? OOH, I bet they like Banana flavor! No SPACE banana flavor-"

Twi pushed Pinkie aside to relive the Captain from her deluge of words.

"Shes just gets a little over excited sometimes." Twilight's cheeks turned slightly pink from embarrassment.

"Oh its fine." said Brian, still reeling from his encounter.

"Ooooh!, whats this button do!" Pinkie's voice screeched as the rest of the group turned to the bubbly mare, who was now currently in the cockpit of the Apache.

She had the flight helmet pulled over her puffy mane, (which spilled out the sides), and was literally pressing EVERY button in the gunners cockpit. Weapons on board the helicopter adjusted and readjusted as she continued to play with the controls. Giggling, she pulled over the flight helmet's visor, causing it to active and sync up with the real time M230 cannon and FliR Thermal camera.

She turned her head and looked at the group below, this action caused the gun to directly point at them.

"I see you! He-he!" she said slightly terrifyingly

"HOLY FUCK!"

The two men both dove out of the way as the gun turned towards them, this got a strange reaction from both Twilight and Rainbow dash.

"Uhh, you ok?" Twi questioned as she looked at the pair who were currently laying down, covering their heads with their hands.

Brian lifted his hands up from his head and pointed to the Apache, or more specifically, Pinkie who was in the cockpit.

"Your little friend over there is controlling a very deadly weapon, so If where you, I would be ducking and looking for cov-" He was cut off mid sentence by the sound of gun fire ripping through the air.

Brain and Nick snapped up and made a mad dash to a water fountain that was located in the town square. While they ran for cover, Twilight and Rainbow where scrambling about, looking for any escape from the machine of death. On the other hand though, Pinkie was having the time of her life. She had somehow been able to locate, and fire the weapon's controls as she shook her head around while holding down the trigger on the stick.

"WEEEEEEEEEEE, HA HA!" her bubbly voice was just barely audible over the roar of the gun.

Pinkie's head stopped turning as a lavender cloak of magic enveloped her helmet and pulled it off, effectively ceasing the fire of the gun. Twilight held the helmet out of Pinkie's reach while she proceeded to flip a lid,

"PINKIE! What has gotten into you?! do you have any idea how dangerous that...weapon even is? you could have caused a lot of damage, or even worse, killed somepony!"

"I was having fun! and I didn't hurt anypony, see? The chaotic mare crossed her forelegs and pouted in protest.

Twilight looked around as her face turned to shock, the whole town had bullet holes riddled within building and merchant stands, a sign on a shop fell of its hinges and landed on the ground, adding to the damage. The two creatures came out of their hiding spot and took a tentative look around.

"Is- is it over?" asked Nick nervously.

Just then, the head of the pony statue carved into the fountains fell off and shattered onto the ground.

"AHHH!" Nick jumped up with a yelp and hid back behind the fountain.

"Aww, get up you scared-y bitch." Brian scolded.

"OOOH whats this?"

The sound of Pinkie Pies voice once again pierced the air as she gasped at something new she found with in the Apache. Brian turned around to see the fire of a rocket being lunched from one of the pods on the Apache's wing. The missile rocket towards the two humans and then took a sharp turn upward and flew into the heavens. Brian, Nick, Twilight, and Rainbow looked up at the spiraling projectile as it slowly started to disappear into the sky.

"What was That?" Twilight questioned as she trotted up to the pair.

"That" he started. "Was a Two-color infrared homing missile with a ten pound high explosive in it that currently traveling at mach two."

Twilight looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Uhhh...wow, is it dang-"

"Yes, very very dangerous." Brian answered.

The four of them stood there as they looked up at the patch of sky where the now long-gone missile was. Their attention was broken by the rustic voice of Applejack, calling them as she trotted over to the group.

"Now ah don't wanna be ah bother but, if were ya, I would get Pinkie outa' that thingy'majig." she said as she pointed the aircraft.

Both pilots stopped staring at the sky and snapped their heads and looked at each other.

"SHIT!"

They ran to the Apache and tried to coax out Pinkie, but their efforts where in vein as she wouldn't get out of the cockpit.

"No, I'm not coming out!." she pouted.

"PLEASE get out, because right now, your the most dangerous thing for miles, So get out now!" Nick responded.

Pinkie shock her head, but the action was soon ceased by Twilight's magic enveloping the pink mare's body and was lifting her up, and out of the helicopter, setting her down on the street. Twilight also managed to close the cockpits canopy so pinkie couldn't get in again and cause even more damage.

"HEY" Pinkie stomped in protest.

"Its for your own good" Twilight said.

"And for ours" Rainbow rolled her eyes.

An ear splitting silence of awkwardness overtook the scene as no one knew what to say next. Thankfully, Twilight cleared her throat and broke the silence with a question,

"Soo..now what?"

"Well to start off with, we need to move this baby to a more secure place. Though I'm pretty sure you don't have an aircraft hanger, and judging by her" Brian pointed to Pinkie, who beamed at him. " reaction to the Apache, this place could be fulled with beings like her, so I'm guessing we should move it away from the public eye."

Twilight pondered this for a second, where could she find a suitable place for a fifty eight foot flying death machine. Finally she thought up a plan for where to put the metal beast.

"Oh I know! how about we bring it back to my house and ill put an Invisibility spell around it, so no curious eyes will be able to see it."

Brian and Nicks face convoyed a face of "What the fuck are you talking about" as they processed the information.

"Wait wait wait, so your telling me YOU can do magic?" Nick said in disbelief.

"Well of course, I'm a unicorn after all, and you did see me levitate Pinkie didn't you?" She questioned.

"Hey, I just thought the pink alien horse could fly, but I guess that doesn't make sense because the blue one has wings and can fly. Ehh fuck it." He threw up his arms.

Brian turned his head and looked around,

"So where is your house?"

Oh yes, its across town, just past the quills and sofas store." She pointed her hoof down the street.

"Awww fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!" Nick whined at her answered.

"Do yah' have tah' be so vulgar?" Applejack's eyebrows narrowed at his swearing.

"Yes I have to be, and I will continue to be so. " he stated

"Can yah' at lest tone it down ah' little?" she said.

"Unfortunately we have to somehow MOVE ignus all the way across town to your house, the reason we have to do this is because we don't want to waste precious fuel by flying."

"Wait, cant you just, like, "magic it" over to your house or some shit?" Nick looked at Twilight.

"Well teleportation of a large object is relatively hard, and even harder at long distances. So no, I can not "magic" the machine over to the house, it is just out of my range of ability."

"Well shit." he stated and kicked a pebble across the street.

"Ah think ah might have somethin' that could help yah" Applejack said as she pull a long lasso out of seemingly no-where and handed it to Brian.

He looked at the rope, then back to applejack,

"You serious?" He said, catching her drift.

"Yes, yes ah am." she said slyly.

"Ah suggest ya start pullin' before it gets dark."

"Goddammit..." Brian started to rope up the Apache.

Once he was finished, he gave part of the rope to nick and they both began to pull the Apache, unfortunately, it wouldn't even budge an inch.

"Uhhhh..... A little help here?" Brian asked

Twilight chuckled to her self as her horn lit up with power, the front half of the Apache glowed with her magic as started to roll forward. Nick and Brian began to pull as Twilight assisted them.

Both human and pony moved forward, pulling the helicopter with them, toward Ponyville library.

_______________________________________________________________________

Somewhere in Ponyville....

Derpy was having a wonderful day.

She was out flying, enjoying the sunlight warming up her wings. She was on lunch break, after delivering half of the towns mail, she decided to fly for awhile and enjoy the summer sun. However, the sound of a faint roar stopped her in her flight. She cocked her head as she hovered above the ground, trying to listen to the strange noise that off in the distance. The more she listened, the louder it got. To her, it sounded like it was getting closer, she turned around to the now-identifiable source of the sound.

In front of her was a large, silver, pole-like object tearing through the air towards her at the speed of sound. Behind it was a smoke trail the seemed to trace a path from the center of town, She yelped and bolted in the exact opposite direction of the missile. Unfortunately for her, every twist and turn she made, the rocket followed suit, seeming to follow her every move. Every time she rounded a corner it seamed to get closer as she narrowly missis a collision each time she made a turn.

Up ahead, she spotted a stone bridge. She set her mind to using all her energy to fly directly to the structure, hopping to find sanctuary from the flying-rod-o'death. Derpy had never flown faster in her life. Finally after seeming like an entirety, she reached the bridge and flew under it. The missile, had lost her heat signature and flew directly over the bridge, narrowly missing the stone of the retaining wall. The missile, unable to lock on to any near by signature(Thank Celestia) flew a few feet and then slammed into a near by field, promptly exploding in a fiery display of shrapnel and destruction.

After the large detention of the missile, Derpy removed her hooves from head and stood up right, looking at the aftermath. The black, smoky mushroom cloud of the explosion plumed upward int the sky. Depry's face turned from one of horrifying shock, to happy excitement as she clopped her hooves together and smiled at the mushroom cloud,

"Muffin!"

Author's Note

Alright thats done, I hope you guys liked the new chapter (even though it took two months, sorry, I have a phobia of updates.)

The last part with Derpy was spontaneous as I thought of a way to tie up loose ends with the rocket. And if your wondering about Spike, he'll be back, after waking up from being knocked unconscious(from AJ's cart).

Anyway!, once again I hope you give liked the chapter, and I will try to update more often so except more in the future. Now i shall go back to writing new stuff for other stories. Seeya!

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